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October 1989

Oct 7 - Oct 17 - Oct 18 - Oct 20 - Oct 26 - Oct 27 - Oct 28

October 7th, 1989

I was with Arnold Tokkin and some other people somewhere. I had created a software program on a piece of equipment at work. I had chosen to put all the data on one program as I have done in the past. I remember seeing some of the program names. I remember Arnold sitting down at the equipment, which had a microscope attached to it, and he looked through the objectives to see how my program was. It may have been for some project I was working on, but I'm not sure. I told Arnold that I hoped he liked my format for programming and he laughed and said something like he knew he would like it or that he would like it, too. Anyway, when he sat down and looked through the objectives, the scene suddenly changed. There were some guys out hiking in the woods somewhere and this scenario was somehow related to the programming format on the equipment at work. It was like this woodsy scene was what Arnold saw as he looked through the microscope objectives, but I don't think it was really like that. Anyway, these guys in the woods were somehow linked to the programs. There were about three of them and they were walking along a ridge. One of the guys slipped and fell down the ravine, which was about fifty yards deep. He landed at the bottom next to a river and he just laid there. He didn't move and I considered it lucky how he stopped rolling before he hit the water. One of the main hiking guys, a man with a beard and long hair, walked down the ravine to the hiker that fell. He observed the body on the ground then sort of shrugged his shoulders as if he couldn't save the guy. He then walked away and left the guy there to die or if he was dead, to rot. It was as if this was the plan of this hiking trip, to get rid of this guy.
I was with Charles. I think a bunch of us were in Orville's car or truck or something and maybe we were on Mountain Rainier. It was really strange and hard to recall all that happened. Charles and I were suddenly in a parking lot and we drove past a Greyhound bus and there were two guys sitting in the front seats of it. Their hair was blowing back as if in the wind and we wondered how that could be because we saw no windows open. Then we noticed two long, narrow windows slightly ajar just above the driver's seat and this is where the wind came from. Charles drove in my truck and I was in a big Buick or something. I followed Charles to the store and was behind him because the traffic was so heavy that I had to wait for it to die down before I could pull into the store parking lot. I remember seeing my truck and how the car was Orville's and how he had mentioned that he bought his car for the same price as my truck. It was analogous to my getting a better deal on my house than he did on his. My truck was sitting there and I envisioned that I had seen it at an auction or garage sale somewhere and had gotten a terrific price on it, that's how come I got such a great deal. Anyway, as I finally parked the Buick and got out, Charles wondered what took me so long. Then he began talking about how when we were on the mountain and how Orville had stopped at a rest stop or something to let us all get out and take a break. He mentioned that Bob had complained heavily about this and he wondered how Bob could bitch about something that "..obviously showed love..." or something like that. Charles parking in this parking lot was analogous to Orville pulling over at a rest stop. When I got out of my car, I heard the voices of Bill and Ted of "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure." It was like they used to own the car and their voices had remained in the car. I searched behind the seats and in the seat cover linings for them, but I couldn't find them. As I walked towards the store, I still heard their voices saying stuff like "...dude, excellent..." and other assorted gnarly stuff, like ya know? A good-looking woman passed me and she was going to get in her car. The voices of Bill and Ted saw her and they started whistling and talking to her, commenting on her nice bod and other stuff. I just turned my head and walked into the store. In the store, Charles and I were by the oranges. He asked what kind of orange juice I wanted and I told him a brand name. Instead of picking that one out, he got Sweetheart brand. I recall seeing the oranges on the label as he held it up in front of my face. The juice came in containers that weren't actually aluminum cans but actually tin cans, like canned vegetables come in. We argued about how I wanted a different brand and it was silly for us to argue over something so minor. We started walking towards the checkout lines and we passed the cheese section. Massive amounts of cheddar cheese, in blocks like they sell in packages, were lying around in heaps on tables. The blocks were longer than normal and came in all sizes. I went to the end of the cheese table and wondered if I would find any sharp or extra sharp cheddar cheese. I don't think I did.

October 17th, 1989

I was at work. It was in the afternoon, around one o'clock or so. I had a few days off and had just returned. The few days off I had were because of our house being robbed and because of Lisa's miscarriage she had recently. There weren't too many people in my work area, but then Emily and Stephanie walked up to me. Emily came up to me and started talking to me but she wouldn't look me in the eyes, as if she were embarrassed about something. Then Al walked up to me and said something like how he didn't think it was me sitting there, and how he had walked by without saying hi because he didn't know it was me the first time. I remember vaguely seeing Niles also. There was a time when I was smiling and joking around, but then I realized that I shouldn't act so happy because of what has been going on in my life, so I mellowed out a bit.
I was with the crew of the movie "The Abyss." There was a scene where a guy (maybe me) kept screwing on an underwater diver's helmet which had a big weight, a rock or something, attached to it. He (I) would throw the weight over the side of the abyss then wait for it to pull him down into the deep dark trench. This scene occurred several times, for the guy had to do it several times before getting it right. I was suddenly on the bottom of the abyss with the woman that was in the movie and some other guy. It was a vast cavern that had lights coming from unknown sources all over the place. I don't think there was any water here, maybe just pools. It was a huge place, as big as the Grand Canyon. Prehistoric was the theme for this place and our bodies began to take on the shape of huge, prehistoric monster men. My body transformed into a huge, twenty-foot tall muscular type of man. My body looked bronzed as if it were fake and/or deformed. The other guy's body was also huge and misshapen. We (the woman and I) noticed that he had no head. My body eventually went back to normal but this headless body walked around and it was terrifying. It walked up to the woman and grabbed her by her head and shook her body around and slapped it against stones until her head was ripped from her shoulders. The headless body then took the woman's head it had just acquired and put it on its own body. Once there, the head changed into a hideous, medusa-type face and the head began to instantly eat away at the body it was attached to. I remember it taking a huge bite out of its own body. Later, the lights in the cavern dimmed and looking at the ceiling far above, I noticed many twinkles of light as if the stone ceiling above gleamed in the darkness, resembling a starry night.

October 18th, 1989

I was in a forest, trying to keep away from a murderous grizzly bear. The bear had treed me and I remember thinking about how the tree I was in wasn't good enough to keep away from this bear, so I was suddenly in another tree. This tree was, for some reason, safe from the bear. It was thin and spindly and resembled a huge nail with short rod-shaped branches coming out of the upper half of it. There were several times when I can vaguely remember the bear viciously biting at me or biting chunks out of me. It was a pretty realistic, believable bear. For some reason, the safest thing for me to do was to hang upside down by my knees from this strangely-shaped tree about two-thirds of the way up. I barely remember the bear coming up the tree to get me, then the scene changed. There was suddenly another bear. I remained in the tree for fear of being captured by these two bears, but then the first bear was suddenly dead. Either the second bear killed it so as to lure me out of the tree, or it died by itself. The bear was hanging from a tree or something, but at ground level. It was slightly mutilated, the lower part of its body being cut up and bloody as if shredded by a chain saw, and it was hard to recognize its legs or if they were even there any more because the damage was so bad. I came out of the tree and began to approach the dead bear, thinking for a second that maybe it was a trap and the bear really wasn't dead, but apparently it was. The second bear was just on the other side of this bear, in the woods and watching me as it stood on its hind legs. It made no sign of attacking that I can remember.

October 20th, 1989

Lisa and I were separated for some reason. Because of this I had to leave our home and find some other place to live. It was weird, but I also had to find another job. I found an apartment in a city far away somewhere, probably Seattle. The apartment was a run-down place that hosted a bunch of scummy tenants and suddenly I was one of the low-life scums you see walking around the streets that you feel sorry for. I remember finding a job of some type but it was low-paying, three-something an hour. I recall talking to a person on the phone about the job and how they said it was low-paying, but I said I didn't care because I wanted a job real bad. The apartment was small and strange. I had a room to myself, sort of. There was a bathtub and a shower and a bed. Somehow the kitchen and other parts of the apartment were added onto the shower and bathtub to save space, so I actually had the kitchen sink in the shower and so on. The rooms were constructed strangely such that doors would open up into other people's apartments. I remember watching a community-like television and there was a woman who was in her room on her bed. I was sitting in the threshold watching the TV and once I looked in at her but she caught my eye so I looked away. The apartment sat on top of a hill overlooking the city below. The buildings were scattered about and were mostly white and drab-looking. My job was out there somewhere, but I didn't know where. I couldn't even remember what the name of the place was where I was employed. I had to remember because it was Thursday and I needed to work the next day, Friday. I told someone at sometime that I was just gonna work Friday then go back to my home and make up with Lisa and find a real job close to my real home. In the meantime, I was in this apartment with all the other scuzzies. I think we all worked at the same place, but I guess I was too embarrassed to ask where it was. There were a few guys there and one of them reminded me of Zeta from my days as a tree planter. He had a Harley-Davidson motorcycle and I was gonna ask if I could ride with him to work, but I didn't. I remember him commenting to others how he paid close attention to the whereabouts of the job site so he would remember how to get to work. I wished I had done the same. Anyway, it was still Thursday night and all of us were in a big recreation-type room, partying and stuff. Justin Bakeamen was there, and for a minute the scene changed to the cafeteria at where I work. We walked in together and acted like we were good friends, but we didn't sit at the same table. He sat with some guys that I can't remember, and we occasionally exchanged glances. This was getting old, so I stared at them abruptly with wide eyes to break the ice. We all laughed and the tension eased just a bit. I saw Justin drinking a 16-ounce Schmidt beer and I was surprised that beer drinking was allowed at work. Justin assured me it was okay and he pointed out a big cooler that was available to all employees. Inside it were various types of beers in half-racks and I pried loose a Schmidt and began drinking it. Suddenly the scene changed back to the scummy apartment. The bunch of us were in the recreation room drinking and I guess smoking pot. There was a woman who was in charge of the place, like a landlady or something. She came in the room and actually she wasn't bad looking. She was about thirty and had black slightly curly hair and she wore glasses. She reminded me of a janitor woman that used to work where I did. We were all worried that she would tell us to knock it off and go to bed but she just said something like, "Oh go ahead. I'll just take pictures and X-rays..." as if the pictures and X-rays would be evidence of us partying and she would use them against us somehow, but she was only joking and was actually pretty cool. Eventually it was the next morning. I could hear the different guys yawning and moaning and getting up out of bed and getting ready for work. I was still worried about finding my way to work and was thinking about just not going. But then I realized that I couldn't just not show up for work, so I had to go. Charles was there and he said he would help me find my way to work. He asked where I worked and I could vaguely remember the company's name, like DeClancy or Delancy or something like that. Apparently it was a well-known employer. Charles said he knew how to get there and would show me how. We started down the hill which the apartment sat on. There was a dirt road that ran horizontally on the hill. On the left side and at the end of the road/trail/path was a phone booth. We went down the right-hand side of the hill. We scooted our bodies down the dry grassy hill and I followed Charles, hoping it wasn't too far to work so I could just walk everyday and not worry about driving. At the bottom of the hill was a wooden bridge with suspension support and we started walking along it, actually jogging. It was a bridge not really strong enough for cars, but it might have been big enough. It was over a large, calm body of water. It had boards that were slightly polished and were nailed on horizontally. Actually I was jogging but Charles wasn't, although he did manage to keep ahead of me the whole time. He somehow came across a horse or a camel and as I looked up ahead of me, I saw him on the animal, trying to get it to move. It didn't budge and that allowed me to catch up to him. It felt good to jog and I was glad that I keep in shape. I looked ahead of me and to the left I saw the bridge continue on for quite a distance, perhaps a mile or so. I was thinking of how long it would take me to get to work because I didn't have a car. Anyway, Charles apparently got off the camel or whatever it was and suddenly we came upon a guy on the bridge who was carrying a refrigerator-shaped box on his back. The guy looked as though he might be Chinese and he stood about six foot tall. I don't think the thing on his back was a refrigerator, but it looked like one. For some reason, Charles had conned the guy out of the box, or just plain took it from him. The box was definitely refrigerator-like but it couldn't have been a refrigerator because it was very light and was made out of tin, flimsy and light. We put the box above us and attempted to carry it on our heads like natives carry supplies in the movies. At first, both of us were carrying it but then it fell off my head or something and just Charles carried it. He explained that we needed it for something. When we got to the end of the bridge, I saw what that something was. On the other side of the water was the land we needed to get to. Actually it was about shin-deep, marshy type water with reeds and grass sticking out of it. Charles showed how to get across the water by bending one knee and pushing along the surface of the water with the other leg. The refrigerator/box kept you out of the water as it skimmed across the surface like a surf board. I tried to do it but was having problems. It was awkward and I found that I could just run through the water just as fast and I didn't mind getting wet. Soon we were at the other side and this is where I was to go for work. I found that this is where we had started from, the beginning of the wooden bridge just to our left. I asked Charles why we had to travel the long distance on the bridge just to end up back at the beginning, and he pointed out a very high chain link fence that separated the bridge from the work area, which consisted of several busses waiting to load people up to take them to their jobs. He said that the fences were too high to climb so we had to go around on the bridge, but then I noticed dozens of people climbing the fence to get to the busses. I realized that next time that I, too, would also climb the fence instead of wasting my time on the bridge. The people climbing the fence were frantic to get to the busses, as if jobs were only given to those that got there first. It was apparent that the job was not a consistent one. It was like we were to just perform random jobs in the community and we were the designated job doers for whatever was available. As I neared the busses, I saw the face of one guy who had a beard, moustache and long hair and he smiled because he was happy to get to the busses and be on his way to a job that would bring him money to survive. He was with some other guy, but I don't recall what he looked like. On the bus I went and it was the only bus I remember. I sat close to the front of the bus, by the driver. There was a little girl sitting next to me and as we pulled away she began to cry because she didn't want to leave her daddy. I saw her daddy outside the window and he was William Shatner of Star Trek. He was dressed in grubby clothes and was sad that he had to send his daughter away in this bus. The driver of the bus was a priest and he wore the usual priest attire: black clothes with a white gap in the front of his collar. He reminded me of the evil priest on the movie "The Seventh Sign" although I don't think it was really him. He was an asshole. As we pulled away, the little girl started crying and the priest told me to slap her to keep her quiet. I softly slapped the girl with the back of my hand but not hard. This seemed to quiet her down. I almost said "Yes sir" to the bus driver but I didn't want to be a brown-noser, so I didn't. Eventually the little girl sat in front with the priest. He made some perverted remark like he wanted to "... get in one of her holes..." or something like that. This was to mean that he wanted to have sex with her. Her response was mixed, half laughing and half fright, trying to get away with something that wouldn't anger the priest. As I looked behind me on the bus, I saw Deiter Quartz sitting a few seats back. Our eyes met and we obviously saw each other but I looked away as people do who haven't seen each other in a while. Later, I remember being called on the telephone as I was out doing a job somewhere. I think it was Deiter or maybe Edward Post who called me. He said how he found a great job to do and that I should do it with them. This made me feel great and we were able to do the job together. I think it was some work that needed to be done in a hospital somewhere. The three of us (myself, Deiter and Edward) did the job. The payment for the job was received by the evil priest. He had called the three of us together to discuss the money and the job. He told us that the hospital really liked our work and he showed us the check they sent him. It was for $941.00. The three of us were excited but immediately tried to wipe the happy smiles from our faces because the evil priest thrived on depriving joy from others and we didn't want him to know we were happy. He had the check in his hands and we thought that it was money that would be split among the three of us, but the priest put the check in a drawer in his desk and said something like "..if we want it, we can cauterize it later..." like that was supposed to mean it can be used to our benefit later if he saw fit. What a schmuck. I recall the hospital getting a hold of the priest later and telling him how they wanted another job done. The priest, being the asshole he was, tried to separate me, Deiter and Edward from working together and planned for only one or two of us to be there with someone we didn't know. We were happy as hell when the hospital told the priest that if it wasn't the same three guys as last time (me, Deiter and Edward) then forget it. That was fantastic news and suddenly my life seemed to be getting better and the life I was leading was pretty fun. Because this priest was such a dickhead, we called upon a young kid to put him out of commission for a while. I don't know who this kid was, but he was some kind of super-duper con-artist, a Mister Do-it-all who really could do it all. We gave him instructions that were off the wall, something like "...strip him down, search him sideways..." and blah-de-blah-de-blah. They were meaningless instructions because we knew that whatever we said that the little kid would take care of the priest. Some thoughts of even mentioning having space aliens come down and take him away came into our heads, but that was just for laughs. What the kid ended up doing was tying the priest down or detain him in that manner some how, and scraped his back with a small, sharp-pronged object. I remember seeing a very small patch of skin on the priest's back peel slightly away as if abrased by the small tool. This happened in a mobile home or trailer, and on the threshold to the front door, the kid dropped a hackey-sac or similar shaped object, maybe a round rock. This seemed to detain the priest and everyone that worked for DeClancy or Delancy or whatever, was happier than shit because this meant free time. A bunch of us guys commented on how this would be the greatest time to get together on the weekend and have a football game. And we did. Of course I was the quarterback. I remember being hiked the ball and rushers coming after me. At this point, I started waking up and had slight control of the dream. I imagined the rushers coming towards me and I put my head down and managed to flatten one of the blockers. This scene took place probably in the park where I used to play football with all the guys. I then threw a perfectly thrown spiral to the running receiver who had run a fly pattern, taking off from the left side of the line then breaking to the right and sprinting up towards the center of the field but still running towards a touchdown. The receiver, who resembled Dorfman, the receiver who I played football with, made a miraculous catch. The football was thrown just in front of his groping fingers in front of him, and he bobbled the ball and dove while pulling the football in to his chest for a beautiful reception. Since I was half asleep at this point, I dreamt this scene again and threw another perfect pass with the same results. My life had taken a turn for the better and I finally felt good about myself. Then I woke up.

October 26th, 1989

Fawn was on TV. There was a talk-show host who showed her in a certain way. The host commented on how she really wasn't like that, and Fawn was there that night to show everybody how she really was. She walked out onto a studio set and the show went on. Later, there was bunch of us from our family, maybe Dexter and Charles and someone else. We went with Fawn to her apartment. We were out on a dark sidewalk and her front door was window-paned. She opened the front door and we went in. It wasn't too bad of an apartment. Fawn immediately went to a wicker chest and opened it to turn off her burglar alarm. Apparently the control for turning it on and off was in this chest. She turned some knob or something in the back left corner of the chest then draped a cloth over it so as to conceal it. She shut the lid and all of us looked about her apartment. There were some barbell-type things coming out of the ceiling. Stirrup-like handles, attached to steel flexible cables, hung from the ceiling. You could adjust the weight on them to the desired setting so you could pull them for exercise. I grabbed onto them and pulled my feet up. They must have been set at about two hundred pounds because when I grabbed them and lifted my feet up, I was not able to pull them down. Instead they pulled me up, but slowly. Then they slowly lowered me and this went back and forth as if the weight setting and my weight were the same, in perfect balance.

October 27th, 1989

I was in a football game in a huge stadium somewhere. I think Lisa was with me. All I can remember is playing the game and really getting into it. We were all around the goal line in enemy territory and the next play was underway. As it progressed, some of the players suddenly began to start eating hamburgers that were supplied by a barbecue on the sideline. More and more players began eating and stopped playing, so the game was delayed. All of us went to the barbecue to get our share of hamburgers. I remember having problems with the ketchup. It came in little paper cups and there was a lot of it. As I squeezed it onto my burger, I think I got my fingers into it and the other condiments seemed messy and awkward.

October 28th, 1989

I was at home and mom and dad came over. I remember seeing them walk through the front door and was surprised to see my dad walking, but I could tell he was still having a little difficulty. Nevertheless, he was doing very well. Dad was pissed off at Misty for something, probably for meowing or something like that. He grabbed her and threw her outside rather violently and it pissed me off. I got mad and brought her back in. Dad protested and was being a real jerk so we got into a yelling match. I yelled at him that this was my house and I made the rules, not him, and he had better get used to it. I had said something like "...What the FUCK do you think you're doing?" I remember saying fuck a few times and it felt strange to say that word in front of mom and dad. I said to mom later that that was the first time I had ever spoken that kind of language in front of them. There was a time when I was standing next to the front door and I had my head bent downward slightly. Dad stood in front of me and I could see him raise his hand up as though he was going to hit the back of my head. He didn't however, because he realized I was right and if he did hit me, I probably would have swung back.
Niles Needle and his wife came over. I could see his wife's face clearly, but she did not look like anyone I know already. She was pretty nice and we were going to play Pictionary at the dining room table. There were a lot of people in my house and it was real hectic trying to host everyone's needs. We were sitting at the table waiting for Lisa, who was doing something with some other guests. She finally walked up and apologized for not being able to come play earlier. There was someone else who was waiting patiently for my assistance and I think it might have been Fawn. She just stood off to the side and smiled patiently as she waited for me to be free so I could help her out. The situation reminded me of work because I'm always swarmed by mass people who need my help. I could actually feel the stress. Suddenly Niles, his wife, Lisa and I started playing a different game. I don't know what it was, but it involved drawing golden-colored cards from a deck that sat in a game box. I drew a card and it had some comment like: What would I do if there was mass pressure at work and everything started going wrong? I made a casual, intelligent comment on how I would do whatever it took to get through the day then go home. Niles didn't really like my answer, like he thought I was trying to be cool by giving such a casual answer.

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