| Remembering Grandmother... When I was young, at about 6 or 7 years of age, I remember the smell of dawn and can clearly see morning dews everyday as my Grandma lets me go with her to buy wet goods from the market. We go with my uncle and it was a very happy feeling everyday when I go with 'em. I'm always so excited to go and looking forward for it everyday since my Grandma would buy fishes I really love to eat for lunch for that particular day! In our town, wet markets have full of fresh veggies and live fishes, I just love to relive that feeling! I could still even taste the freshness of the fishes my mother or my grandma used to grill and eat them for lunch with matching Coca-Cola soda. My family is just addicted to sodas, except for me, thank God... Sometimes even if I don't wanna wake up in the very early morning, I just had to wake up to go with Grandmother. I love it very much. Sometimes, when she needs to go to some complicated place like in the fishes section for example, though I would also love to go and see the fishes, or in a pork section that sells pork blood, then she'll leave me in some place with my uncle with me. While waiting, my uncle would buy for me some foods that are really good and rare. Like rice cakes or steamed bread for example that are locally made. Those tastes still linger in my lips even up to now... I remember one time, even if she was so tired, she still has to go on and wash my clothes. She takes pride in the way she washes clothes as she claims the dirty laundry would still come out as new and well maintained , even keeps fresh smelling up to the end of the day when we wear them. She cooks very well. My all time favorite that she cooks for me was the steamed fish ("tulingan", don't know the English name for it, but will find out) with just water, vinegar and lots of garlic! It's so exotic and I still love it up to now... I would say that life wasn't that easy for my grandmother. She was left by her husband, my grandpa a long time ago for another woman. My grandpa as according to my relatives was very handsome and appealing to other women and so he left my grandma, went with another woman and after some years died of stroke caused by high blood. He was a salesman and grandma was just a country girl type living in a far island in some province and had a house beside the sea, who would just stay home and learn how to sew and cook. She has Spanish features though and has nice nose and eyebrows. I once lived with her when my Mom separated from my father, I was left with her for a short period of time since I was transferred to my grandparents on my dad's side. We lived in a small place with only one bedroom at about 8-9 square meters in size. We have a small, about 14 inch black and white television, no refrigerator, no foamed beds and no proper sink and toilet bowl. It's hard to explain, the bowl doesn't' have flush and so you need to pour a generous amount of water and our sink doesn't have a water tunnel and so the water that will be used will go through the sand directly under our sink. Funny isn't it? We only have instant coffee and bread for breakfast, no eggs, hot dogs or even dried fish. Having all of those will mean a luxury to us at that time. If we could have dried fish or sardines for dinner then that is a blessing. Our lunches would always be the most grand! Grandma or Mom always grills fresh fishes and cook some pork bones for our soup with matching seaweed salad, these were my ultimate faves! I must say that despite all of these happened to me when I stayed with her was the most cherishing and the happiest time in my childhood life. We were truly happy, peaceful, full of love and caring from Grandma and Uncle. They loved me very much as though I was also her daughter, since she's kinda young to be a grandma. Eventually I transferred to my other grandma, on my father's side, due to my father's decision. This time the life was different. They had a house with 6 bedrooms plus a maids quarter and has all kinds of appliances. Foods being prepared there were truly superb and expensive and always has leftovers unlike in my other grandma's. But this time I wasn't the princess of the house, I was like a servant, literally. This house (as mentioned in my other story) has full of hatred and really lacked peace. I would always find myself being dragged by my grandma harshly going to the kitchen to cook and wash dishes at age 8 or 9, being shouted at times for not cleaning all the furnitures and sofas. My hair pulled if I don't wake up at 5AM to go to market or grocery to buy food and other stuff. They did have a housemaid, I just couldn't figure out why I am being treated also like a maid! When my mother's mother learned about this, she and uncle went to get me from that big house and they had a sort of violent confrontation with my father and my cruel grandmother. The picture was so clear then, even my tears would still fall when my own father doesn't even care for my own safety and happiness as he didn't wish for me to live peacefully with my other grandma. My uncle and grandma fought to their fullest, they don't care if they didn't have enough resources to pay for my schooling or might not have enough facilities to serve for me in their own home. The most important thing they could give me is their pure love and caring. They regret they have agreed to let me transfer in the other house knowing that they may be able to support me financially and give me more things for myself and for my schooling support. Grandma even said, I'd rather let Maya live in our small house but we can guarantee her safety, give her much love than staying in your house full of hatred. Don't get me wrong, I've already forgiven them... That's true love. I'd rather feast with a family eating only dried fish or even just bread but offer their lives to me and gives me unconditional love... I could remember God's love for us too. It is unconditional. No matter where we came from, what our past may be, but still paid for our sins and longing to be with us all the time. Are we willing to stay with Him even if He only serves us water but He was willing to die for us? I never missed the hotdogs and the burgers being served in my father's house even the chocolates and stuff. How can I feel the love and peace in that house if my grandma, his mother, would always tear my heart apart and treat me and my brother like useless individuals? I just missed Grandmother. She was once my hero and my angel. I will always love her no matter what. The love she has for me was neverending and very real. I wish I could visit her one day in our town and just stay with her for a week or so... I always make sure though that when I go home in our town, even if the beds aren't so comfortable and sometimes I could smell pig poops from outside, I don't mind! The important thing is I'm with my greatest grandma and uncle and of course mother. I love them so much and I pray for their safety, success and happiness to God. For Grandma, this is for you! I love you forever! By: Maya Guzman Santos |
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