I wrote Arch-Villain months ago, and I honestly don't really remember what I was thinking at the time. I think it was something along the lines of "Warren/Andrew, what the fuck!" and "Immicolia? I love her, this has to be good! What the fuck!" I not only don't like Warren, but still don't care about Andrew, even after Storyteller and Chosen made him a little amusing and interesting. He's easy to slash though. Oh, I should probably mention that I wrote this for secret slasha 2002 (as I'm writing this About, it's May, 2003). I sort of forgot about the fic until recently, when I got positive feedback on it, which was a little startling. I put it up on my site since I hadn't updated in an age, and started thinking about writing again.
My latest attempt at writing, which you won't see on Head Rush anytime soon, was a fic called "Dead Man." I wrote two chapters, realized they not only sucked, but sucked irretrievably (ack, dictionary...) and trashed them. Publicly. On-list. Apparently, there were some people who were actually following that story. They don't hate me now, which is a miracle probably stemming from the fact that I did this after 2 chapters instead of after 30. But that would have been fun too.
You know what I like to do when nobody's around? (Get your mind out of the gutter-- I weigh 170-some-odd pounds, you don't want to go there, although, I am startlingly pretty. I'll put a picture up here someday when I'm more courageous. --*dictionary*-- I don't know how to get a pic of me on the internet. I think it either involves a scanner or a digital camera or both. My mom's got my picture on her desktop (no really, on the kitchen computer, and we're Italian, so the kitchen is where we live-- can imagine trying to eat in front of a photograph of yourself?) (And how weird is it that we have a kitchen computer, like some people have TVs in every room of the house, we have out-dated computers - and when I say outdated, I mean like 1984, not like last month. My Mom collects them. Which could be a good thing. According to my Dad, whose job it is to limit musical piracy on the net, there has been talk of making computers that don't play music anymore. I told him that if that ever happens, old computers are gonna suddenly be worth a whole lot more money.)
Here's what I like to do when I'm all alone: play the same song over and over and over and over and over again. There's not actually enough overs in that sentence. Tonight it's Seven Nation Army. Yesterday it was Leanard Cohen. There's a reason why I never do this in company.
Ummm... Arch-Villain. I never posted it to the lists. Immicolia never said she liked it, which probably means she didn't. (I've never been flamed, nor written a flame. If I don't like a fic, even if it's gawdawful, I just keep my mouth shut. Or my laptop. Whatever. I like White Stripes.)
If I asked for my favorite pairing and got a half-assed fic like Arch-Villain in which the writer clearly doesn't love the characters, and no sex actually happens, and poor punch-lines are made, I'd be sad. I wouldn't say thank you, I'd count on some other nice person liking the fic more than me and making all the thanks necessary. Come to think of it-- I'm not sure I thanked my secret slasha properly. I *think* I did...
Since when did feedback become an expected thing? There are people onlist who always respond to fic -onlist- because they fb so often that they're afraid it'll seem like they're snubbing someone. What's up with that? Some fic deserves to be snubbed. "Darla, Human" got maybe three mails, and that's fair. That fic might have liked a beta. I know I only send feedback when I really really like a story. But that's just 'cause I'm a lazy asshole who can't be bothered to send fb for fics I just kinda like.
I've gotta say this though-- just once, I'd like someone to tell me I'm crap. Praise makes me nervous, makes me feel soft. What if I'm just a crappy writer, and everyone's too nice/cowardly to tell me so. There are really, truly, painfully, painfully crappy writers out there. Does anyone tell them they suck? Why would you? Just to crush some small joy out of someone who might improve or at least stop posting over time? I stopped posting; now I've started again. Am I horrifying someone out there? Someone who read "The Maker?" (Speaking of which, I just got feedback for that waste of words, and I said What the fuck! And then I emailed the person back to say thanks, and I think I should have been politer. DICTIONARY! Argh. Bed. Now.
Tomorrow I'm flying back to Boston, where the weather is more sane. I can deal with swealtering heat in the winter and freezing rain in the summer as long as it gets dark before 9:45 at night. In May! What's it like in Seattle in the summer? Sad thing-- I find myself feeling bad for the vampires. Must. get. life. Argh. I miss Garfield. Just saying.