This is the result. Yes, it's more X/S fluff, but I have plans, nasty plans... Don't ask why I'm posting in parts. I think greediness has a lot to do with it.
Or maybe there's more. I've written a few pages of a lot of stories and forgotten about them because I have this tinny tiny attention span. Some were good starts too. They live on in my hard drive, and nowhere else.
I'll probably have more to say about this as I write more. At the moment I'm worried about my Spike characterisation. I keep telling myself 'but he has a soul now!'
But here's how I see the AR thing. Spike should be just as traumatized by what he did as Buffy (though for very different reasons). Also though, they had a very dark, violent relationship even before that, and she was almost as bad for him as he was for her. Add to this that Spike's *demon* loved Buffy, but obviously not his soul, which was absent, and would feel the more traditional kinds of love. So once he gets his soul back, he's still gonna have all these dark wanting feelings towards Buffy, but he's not gonna be in love with her anymore, and, I think, considering what a fluffy guy he was as a human, he'll probably be horrified with himself for still wanting her at all. That's my thought.
***
Okay, and now I'm done with GHL and it's at the beta's. That's right, I posted it and then sent it to a beta. I think I was doing all right on it by myself until part six. That was harder to write than the AR scene, so I sent the fic to Kristina to shred.
I've definitely decided not to post in parts any more unless the fic is totally complete. I don't like, other people get manipulated... It's all bad.
But it's good to try everything once... yeah, right.
Okay, I'll admit it. I wanted to write one of those epic S/X fics that are all over the place. You know, one of the *famous* stories. But the thing is, those fics usually have to completely change the situations and attitudes of the characters. The good ones do it in a very natural way, but I still don't want to be like that.
I like Spike how he is (though I dread the start of season seven), and I don't want to change him. Xander's an asshole, but he seems to be headed in an interesting direction since Hells Bells, so I don't really want to change him either.
Also, and this is the biggest reason-- I don't have the attention span. GHL is 21 pages! Ah! The only thing that compares are the Eve stories, and they're both epic and sorely neglected.
No, no more gigundo fic for me. I like my little thought-farts, thank you very much. Heh, I'm so eloquent.