This fic obviously borrows a lot from Lolita. But maybe not enough. I always wanted Shannon to be her own character, and I'm not really sure if she ever got there. I hope she did, but...
Also, the ending. There's a point in a story where it has to be about the point of the story, you know? The whole thing came from the idea that Angel wasn't particularly surprised or disturbed when he started wanting to eat his kid-- at least not disturbed enough to mention anything to anyone. So eventually, it had be 'and all this whole story is just history to explain Angel's weirdness towards Connor.'
The sex part. It wasn't necessary, and didn't come up in the fic until after the end of season three aired. People out there were writing Angel/Connor slash, and I just didn't get it. I mean, I didn't read any of the fics, so maybe they made more sense than they seemed like they could. But people have been confusing parent/child love with sexual chemistry for a long time (B/G shippers, I'm looking at you, sorry). And that's almost excusable in most cases, but Angel actually is Connor's dad. They're blood relatives. Connor was sixteen (in season 3, I don't know what happened to his seventeenth year). It was icky. So this fic was, at one point, a pot shot at people who thought to write Angel/Connor smut. I tried to be as icky as possible. I know I could have been ickier. I will, eventually get over it (too late now, anyway).