Xander eventually rises from the couch and carries Spike into their bedroom. He strips off the vampire's jeans, getting Spike settled on the bed, and reluctantly leaves for work.
But Xander's distracted the whole day, just thinking about that-- "I thought you weren't going to come." Spike hadn't really been all that suicidal in the past two months since he and Xander had started their tentative romance. Sure, the vampire still waited for sunrise every morning, but he'd stopped fighting when Xander came to rescue him. So if Spike had gone from being fragile and upset about killing thousands of people to being fragile and upset because he thought Xander had stood him up...
Xander almost runs the electric saw over his thumb, and his boss offers him the afternoon off to "get your head together, son."
Yeah, Xander's pretty embarrassed, but on the plus side, he gets to go home to his vampire early.
Finds Spike still in bed, strips down to his boxers and joins him.
Xander closes his eyes for just a moment, and when he wakes he has that slightly shaken feeling that means he slept very deeply for a couple of hours when he wasn't planning on falling asleep at all.
Dark brown eyes stumble open, but clear when they meet Spike's wide, concerned gaze.
"You're home early," Spike remarks as nonchalantly as he can.
"Yeah." Xander stretches, pressing himself closer to the slim vampire. "Got the afternoon off. What will I do with the time?" Gives a grin and a matching leer to accompany that last statement.
Spike rolls on top of Xander, arms on either side of the young man's head as he asks, frowning, "You get hurt? You didn't get sacked?"
Xander's grin softens and he runs his hands up and down Spike's sides. "Naw, I'm good." He pulls Spike down into an embrace, and the vampire nuzzles his neck happily.
"Too bad ya spent all yer extra time sleeping, pet, we could've had some fun," Spike teases.
"Mmm, vampire kisses," Xander murmurs, turning his head to brush Spike's lips.
They lie there lazily like that, just kissing for the next half-hour, until they're both desperately thirsty and Xander rolls Spike off him so he can get drinks.
The vampire watches his boyfriend go and sighs. He knows Xander's never been with another man before, and the kid needs time, but sodding hell, they've been kissing and teasing for two *months* and all this sexual frustration's biting right into Spike's brooding time.
In the kitchen, Xander stuffs handfuls of Cocoa Krispies in his mouth while he waits for Spike's blood to heat.
Xander knows he was the one who said, "Let's take it slow," but this is ridiculous. Every day he looks at Spike and can barely restrain himself from vaulting over the furniture and just tearing all their clothes off and finally...
But that's where Xander's mind always goes blank, which is why there has been no vaulting yet.
The microwave dings and Xander grabs Spike's mug, carrying it and a bottle of water back to the bedroom.
Spike's sitting up, looking ready to be out of bed, and Xander sighs in frustration as he hands Spike the mug.
The blond watches Xander slump onto the bed dejectedly, and Spike asks worriedly, "What *did* happen at work? Why're you off today?"
Xander twists to look Spike in the eye as he asks, "Stay with me tonight? Please?"
When Spike looks away silently, Xander moves to sit behind the vampire, legs on either side of him. "Please?" Xander repeats. "I... need you. I was doing okay, and then you came, and now I can't... you can't be out in the... Please stay? Just for tonight? Just try it?"
Spike takes a deep breath before agreeing, "Just for tonight. I'll try it."
But after Xander gets back from early evening patrols with Buffy, Spike's gone. This isn't unusual, but Spike said...
Xander curses and throws open the front door, determined to find his vampire and bring him back home. Doesn't have to look very far; Spike is standing in the hall, key to the apartment in one hand, bag of groceries in the other.
"Spike," Xander breathes, and the relief is so clear in his voice that Spike realizes, maybe for the first time, what his early morning jaunts do to his boy.
Spike hurries into the kitchen, dumps the groceries on the counter and grabs Xander in a hug. "Wasn't going back on my word, luv, never lie to you, you know that," he assures Xander.
And Xander nods, but he didn't know that. He needed to hear Spike say it, needs to have Spike in his arms tonight.
He's still so frazzled from almost being too late the morning before, and he just *needs*.
"I'm going to bed now," he says hopefully, and though it's still pretty early for Spike, the vampire nods and follows Xander into their bedroom.
Spike tosses his duster onto the chair in the corner and sits on the bed to unlace his Docs. Stands to remove his jeans and dump them in the laundry basket in the closet, and when he turns around again, he barely even glances at Xander.
But he does a double-take, because Xander's standing by the bed, looking nervous as hell. Completely naked.
"Well. Then." Spike clears his throat and slowly removes the rest of his clothes.
Xander watches Spike watch him as the vampire approaches the bed. Spike's looking for any sign that this is getting too scary for the young man, which Xander appreciates. No matter how much he wants this, he's still terrified.
When Spike is standing right in front of Xander, he cups the dark-haired man's face gently and presses a long soothing kiss to Xander's lips. Spike rests his other hand on Xander's bare hip, and after a moment of hesitation, Xander places one uncertain hand on Spike's opposite hip. Feels smooth, lightly haired skin for the first time. Runs his hand up Spike's back and then down to cup the vampire's ass, never breaking the kiss.
Spike sighs contentedly into Xander's mouth, then guides the youth to lie down.