Collecting novelty records is easy.  It about as simple as finding a copy of  AHA's 'Take On Me' at any op-shop or garage sale. We here at MAY JAH TOM are suckers for collecting thrift store crap.  We decided to put our lack of music  journalistic / record collecting skills to the test in  the quest for the tacky and immaculate.



hot butter

(Musicor Records)

1972 Gershon Kingsley is to French dance/house what Iggy Pop is to Punk.  Members of the current crop of French house (Air, Alex Gopher, Daft Punk & Etienne De Crecy) would’ve all owned and listened to this in their youth.  Despite previously issuing moog albums on the Vanguard label, Gershon finally achieved international acclaim using the alias-Hot Butter.  The success of Popcorn sired the Moog Record Boom.  This resulted in dodgy Moog records flooding the market thus reducing Gershon's artistic brilliance to land fill.  Not since the Salvation Army Band incorporated the tambourine had it been used as effectively as it was on ‘Popcorn’.



player 1


1979 If you ever needed a text book example of cashing in on a fad, it would certainly be Player One’s milking of Atari’s Arcade game ‘Space Invaders’.  What made matters worse was Player One were actually a pack of Australian session musos.  Space Invaders was recorded at Albert Studios and credited to Bad Productions.  One wonders if it Bad Productions might’ve had a Vanda & Young  (Easybeats/AC/DC) connection.  Quite possibly they both distanced themselves from the quagmire of this turkey. 





1981 A much forgotten 80’s one hit wonder passed over for the likes of Jive Bunny, Toni Basil & A Flock of Seagulls.  Trio could’ve drawn on the proud tradition of pioneering kraut acts like Kraftwerk, Neu and Faust.  Instead Trio tarnished it with ‘Da Da Da’ which sounded more like the backing music to a pissweak Atari 2600 game.



little willie band


1983 Fable Records deserve an ARIA award and a special mention for its services to cringe.  They had the vision to back such winners as ‘The Pushbike Song & ‘Up There Cazaly’.  In 1983 great efforts were made to help raise funds to send the Australian Olympians to the 1984 Los Angeles games.  Some of these efforts included merchandise, a telethon and this record. ‘Little Willie’ was the cartoon Koala mascot of the campaign and the focus of this track.  Willie’s name also contributes heavily to the toilet humour on the lyrical content. 



lynne hamilton


1979 Aussie T.V shows have always provided chart fodder for the masses like Kylie, Natalie and Abigail.  ‘On The Inside’ from Grundy's hit TV show Prisoner was the most memorable tearjerker ever since ‘Theme from Rush’.  Lynne Hamilton has never able to top this since.  




mojo singers


1978 Further proof that the MeadowLea jingle was certainly no fluke.  The Mojo singers united Australian cricket fans with its sing-along chorus written to spruke Packer’s World Series Cricket.  ‘C’mon Aussie C’mon’ was as annoying and as far reaching as ‘Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi!’.  This song helped us forget the woopin the Windies gave us during this series.





1976 A classic for all the wrong reasons, a track which romped in the same league as Donna Summer’s ‘Love To Love You Baby’.  The cheesy use of Wah Wah and corny golden voice effect is a guilty pleasure in the making.  When the outfit Fox split, lead singer Noosha launched a flop solo career while the keyboardist went cockrock with Whitesnake.



a cuppla days


1988  Fuelled by annoying catch phrases and Clichéd characters The Comedy Company will be most remembered for briefly beating 60 Minutes in the hallowed Sunday night TV ratings.   Mark Mitchel based his Con the Fruiterer was  on his local green grocer.  It reinforced the view held by white Australians that only people of Italian or Greek decent worked as greengrocers.  The brainworks at CBS looked to cash in on this moron formula and released ‘The Comedy Company Album’.  Former Men At Work members Colin Hey and Greg Ham were then roped in to contribute to the woeful result. 





1979   1979 was International Year of the Child.  Alberts had the smarts to recognize the void in the market to release this song.  With International Year of Older People it still provided further proof that Alberts kept it's hand on the pulse of the consumer by not releasing a song for this cause.



amii stewart


1979 Because Amii Stewart hedged her entire career on covering 60’s hits, ‘Light my Fire’ was given the Euro-disco treatment.  Much to the disgust of Doors fans it was linked to the rapid rise of the Anti-Disco movement.  It was Amii Stewart’s last ever hit.



Monte video and the cassettes


1982 After the release of this track Monte Video was caught up in a most unusual citizenship battle. Monte was deported from New Zealand to Australia despite holding New Zealand citizenship.  Australian authorities only allowed Monte to enter the country on sole prevision that he never preformed his material again.  He was later sued by several Police Unions and the Australian Cricket Team for moustache infringements.  



father abraham 


1978 There was nothing new about changing the pitch of a voice and turning it into novelette records.  History will show that the Smurfs were beating to the punch by a good 20 years by The Chipmunks.  In 1981 The Smurf creator Pierre Culliford attempted to capture the lucrative Australian market.  The Smurfs released a version of the already 2-year-old hit ‘Up There Cazaly’.  Damage control was necessary when the Smurfs mis-pronounced Cazaly as ‘Gazell’.


mighty big crime 


1987 Although Mighty Big Crime aimed for a Beastie Boys prototype, ‘16 Tons’ was more like akin to ‘Stutter Rap’.  Not content with this stiff, Mighty Big Crime’s Gumpy formed the visionary Freaked Out Flower Children with TV Host/Actress Sophie Lee.  Gumpy’s third and most successful venture was in the form of billboard.  Strategically placed at the rear of a Richmond Hotel facing the train line that read “Gumpy is Back and He’s Not Happy’.  Unfortunately for Gumpy his most successful piece of work has been removed.