For the past few months, I have been staring at other people's lives, seeing them change,
while basically remaining quite static myself.
Almost everyone from the "clique" that I hung out with in Secondary school is now pursuing
(or has already obtained an offer to pursue)
tertiary education.
Heck, one of them is graduating at the end of this year!

In the midst of this storm of change, my house has been left virtually intact - untouched by uncertain winds.

Till today, that is.

I received an offer from the Universiti Malaysia Sarawak (UNIMAS) to do a Bachelor's in Economics and International Business.
Get this - I've never even taken Economics in my entire life!
In Secondary school, the twists and turns of the literary world and the sheer madness of trying to balance accounts
showed me more mystique than charts and formulae to decipher the market performance.
I was supposed to have done an "A" Level in that subject after the Sijil Tinggi Persekolahan Malaysia (STPM) examinations,
but it ended up being far too costly.

So where does that leave me?
A Science stream purist with no economics or business background
(save that two week long stint I did for Rakan Muda Team Malaysia - but that doesn't count)
struggling to make it through the degree; and perhaps the rest of her life?

I most probably will take the offer, though.

Why, may you ask?

Well, I believe that I've spent far too much time rotting away at home, drifting meaninglessly down the road.
I think it's time that I do something useful in my life - bring a little meaning back into my existence.
My brain needs to feel needed and wanted again.
It needs to feel challenge.
And trust me, trying to pick up what took the Humanities students next door four years to master in slightly over one week is no mean feat.

But then again, there are so many things here that I cannot give up at an instant.
The inertia pulling me back is far too strong.
I haven't cleared out my junk in the house, there are people I haven't spent enough time with, commitments I've yet to fulfil
- I shouldn't have to go away so far, so fast.

Hopefully, something better will come along. Hopefully, I'll get to reach and touch my dreams (if even only on tippy-toes) - soon.

And who knows?
Maybe I'll like it there.
I hear the UNIMAS campus is the most beautiful in the country.
It overlooks a cliff over a breathtaking view of the South China Sea.

And maybe I'm really not meant to be what I want to be.
This is the second time in a row that God has offered me something else.
Maybe it's time for me to listen to Him for a while and see how that works out for me.

Change is inevitable.

But so is the nature to fight it.

Margaret Alexandria Yoong
May 16, 2003