A. Professional helping relationships are structured rather than informal, unlike purely social relationships. They are:

• disciplined; focused on specific tasks in which the worker is a catalyst in the client's growth toward increased self-sufficiency. The worker maintains respect for the client's right to confidentiality both at work and at home and the worker's personal issues are not part of the relationship. The relationship is held within specific boundaries that respect the power differential between 'helper' and 'helpee'.  Social relationships' boundaries are established mutually by the two participants and are flexible and open to redefinition.
• time-limited; The duration of the relationship is often dictated. ideally by the goal of the relationship which is to work toward the client's independence, but often by the design of the services or the funding limitations.
• goal-oriented; both participants focus their efforts on shared goals  Friendships and other social relationships have many  goals or reasons for existence.
• collaborative; the professional human service worker, in promoting and provoking growth toward independence, collaborates with the client, sharing knowledge and information and dividing up the needed tasks. Roles and responsibilities in social relationships are often random or dictated by personal wishes and needs. The specific tasks done by each will be determined by what skills and abilities the client has and a sensitive estimate of what next steps are possible, with assistance. (We talked about the concept of the Zone of Proximal Development, in which a teacher or parent provides only the degree of assistance needed to reach the next level of accomplishment.) 
• accepting; the professional does not have to like his or her client, or condone the client's behavior, but, in order to be effective, he or she MUST develop an understanding and empathy for the client's subjective experience of life. If a human service worker is unable to make that basic human connection due to his or her personal issues, the client should be referred to another worker. 

The structure of the helping relationship has to be made clear to the client and agreed upon in order to work together successfully. This agreement is known as the 'contract', and, while not necessarily a written and signed document, it must be established at the outset in order to avoid any misunderstandings or barriers  to the shared work.   Within the structure of the helping relationship, the content of the professional's behavior, conveyed both in words and non-verbally, is crucial for success. This content consists not only of the special skills and knowledge the professional shares but also the values, attitudes and beliefs conveyed in the helping context.  The necessary proportion of one of these 3 components to the others varies with the service provided; sometimes the professional knowledge, (for example, of the process of recovery from drug addiction0 or skills (the ability to stitch up a deep wound or to )set someone enough at ease to talk about personal problems is more important that the individual's values and attitudes, but it can usually be assumed that  human service worker must have certain attitudes and  values and beliefs in order to be effective in bringing about change in other's lives. Skills can be learned through practice and knowledge acquired through research and study; basic values and attitudes however, are the foundation on which effective skills and knowledge are constructed. These consist of

• patience - with clients, who can be frustrating, obtuse, rude, stubborn, weak-willed, slow to change, etc,   - and patience with ourselves, accepting our own limitations. (It is important to note that having unhelpful values, attitude, and feeling, in themselves, is not not 100% possible, but that expression of them within the relationship is not appropriate.)
• empathy:  we must try to place ourselves, despite very different experiences in life, in the shoes of our clients, in order to see the world from their perspective and understand where they are coming from in order to facilitate growth and change.
• self-awareness. We can never be fully aware of all our beliefs, attitudes and values, and the process of developing self-awareness is a life-long endeavor. The best quality  someone can bring to this work is the willingness to confront and work to change his or her limitations. In order to 'reach' others, we have to be able to truly see them as they are, without the screens of prejudice and preconceptions based on our own past experiences.
• open to asking for/giving feedback and assistance.  This requires openness and self-confidence, as we have it instilled in us from an early age that 'not knowing' is NOT GOOD. It also requires humility in sharing what we can do to help others: helping should not mean feeling superior; we all need help sometimes.
• open-mindedness.  Critical thinking does NOT mean being critical of others; it means staying receptive to new ideas and new viewpoints, and maintaining a willingness to question what you have previously learned. (This one is a natural extension of the two previous attributes; you have to become aware of the prejudices you have in order to then accept feedback from others and broaden your viewpoint.)
• The capacity to take risks! This one I forgot to cover in class, but it is very important, in that indecision is paralyzing and there is no one 'right' answer. At some point, despite an unclear situation, you have to act, to take the risk of making the wrong decision. This can be one of the hardest aspects of human service work, as the client may suffer from your misjudgment, and you and your agency may be held accountable, yet life is rife with risks. Clients have to be free, at some point, to make their own mistakes, and you can't ever know enough to be 100% certain of the outcome of a decision.
• Belief in the human capacity to change!!! No matter how difficult the client or the client's situation, without faith that this can change, you are setting yourself and, more importantly, your client, for failure.  This does not mean not being realistic, however. Remember the phrase: "be an optimist in your heart and a pessimist in your head" (Page 135): believe in the possibility of success, but plan for possible failure.
• Last, A SENSE OF HUMOR...This is serious work, so you can't afford to be too serious! Take every opportunity to laugh...  and to help you clients remember how to laugh.

I did not go over the details of the skills and knowledge involved in the content of the professional helping relationship, but I do expect you to have read them over and STUDY THE TABLE ON PAGE 123. Know and be able to apply these as three components of the content of a professional helping relationship to specific examples ("Ladybird, Ladybird") 

We watched the film "Ladybird, Ladybird"  (which I will place on reserve in the library, in case you want to review parts of it to prepare for the test.).