INTIMACY develops in relationships that are characterized by mutual self-disclosure, trust and concern.

Why are these issues so important for adolescent development? Again, nature and evolution determine success in terms of survival of the species, and while puberty is preparing adolescents' bodies for reproduction, humans are social animals and not only do they need to be part of a  social structure to do so successfully, they need social relationships for other reasons than reproductive success. Different societies have different social structures and kinds of relationships within which relationships and reproduction takes place, and thus socialize adolescents differently in order to prepare them psychosocially for the world they will have to live in. Our society places an enormous amount of emphasis on individual relationships, couples, but other close social relationships have been shown to have important effects on psychological health and even physical health. The ability to feel close to other human beings is rooted in the early relationships within the family, but the ability for intimacy with others does not fully develop until adolescence. 

Again, the three realms of development - physical, cognitive and social - all contribute to this growing ability. Physically, puberty  instigates sexual feelings and impulses which, in turn, raise new issues and concerns requiring serious, intimate discussions' (page 319). Cognitively, adolescents are more able to establish and maintain mature relationships that 'are characterized by higher levels of empathy, self-disclosure, and responsiveness to each other's thoughts and feelings' (page 319). And socially, as our studies of identity and autonomy have pointed out, adolescence involves greater behavioral independence from family, but adolescents continue to need human relationships while developing their sense of independence and selfhood. Adolescence not only provides greater opportunities to be with friends, it also requires social relationships with peers to meet the maturing person's need to have social supports and connections outside the family.

2. Harry Stack Sullivan's theory of human development stated the entire life cycle revolves around trying to attain and sustain satisfying human relationships.  In childhood, friendships and closeness are expressed through activities. A child's 'best friends' are those who share things, or who play with them. Sullivan says that  in preadolescence, individuals begin to develop close, intimate same-sex friendships that are based more on feelings of trust, affection, concern and personal knowledge of each other's feelings and thoughts. He said these relationships then provide the context for the adolescent's development of a sense of self-esteem and identity. Then Sullivan saw the main developmental challenge of adolescence as that of making the transition from same-sex, non-sexual relationships to sexual opposite-sex intimate relationships. He saw adolescence as a time for 'trying on'  various types of interpersonal relationships, from many intimate friends to exclusive one-on-one couples.

3.  Unlike Sullivan, Erikson saw the task of developing identity as preceding that of developing intimacy; that one could not make the commitment to intimacy until he or she had a secure sense of self, and that relationships formed before this process was complete were 'pseudo-intimacy', shallow and superficial. Erikson felt that pseudo-intimacy was to be expected in in early to mid adolescence and that the 'crisis' of late adolescence was that of intimate relationships vs. isolation. 

4. This apparent conflict - Sullivan's seeing intimacy developing in preadolescence and Erikson's seeing it as not developing until late adolescence -  can be reconciled by seeing both processes as developing hand-in-hand, each contributing to the other's development. One reason for the apparent disagreement is that each theorist focused on different aspects of intimacy. Sullivan was concerned with the development of the ability to be intimate and the need for such closeness, and Erikson focused on how intimacy was expressed.  "Close relationships are used as a safe context in which adolescents confront difficult questions of identity, yet, at the same time, the development of an increasingly coherent and secure sense of self provides the foundation on which adolescents build and strengthen intimate relationships with others." (Page 324)

5. Both theoreticians would agree that the foundations for intimate relationships lies in earlier stages of development. Secure attachment in infancy provides a good beginning for future trusting relationships, but subsequent major events and disruptions of important relationships can undermine the basic trust established in this first stage of emotional development. However, very insecure early attachments are hard to counter with positive experiences or conditions in later childhood, adolescence or adulthood.  This theoretical approach proposes that all future relationships are based on the internal working model  which is built upon by satisfying relationships with peers throughout childhood. (Other theoretical approaches argue that an 'internalized working model' is not necessarily the basis for the development of intimacy; rather, it is the product of learning experiences, increased cognitive skills and developing social skills.)

6.  The importance of intimacy increases over the course of early adolescence and tensions arise between intimate same-sex 'best friends' when puberty brings about a competing interest in becoming involved with the opposite sex, especially when both participants are not maturing at the same pace. Jealousy, especially between girlfriends, is a feature of this stage of development. Sullivan suggested that anxiety and insecurity about the coming changes in relationships is the basis for this kind of jealousy, as the intensity of the relationship has an almost 'crush'-like quality just prior to the transition to opposite-sex relationships. Conflicts between 'best friends' at this stage can be highly emotional, especially among girlfriends, who see betrayal as the source of conflicts, while boys tend to come into conflict with close friends over power and control, and tend to 'duke it out' and then forget it, while girls' conflicts require some sort of restitution or apology to patch things up. 

7.  Research on the development of intimacy in adolescence  highlights changes in individuals conceptions of what friendship is, on how intimacy is displayed, and in who is the target for intimacy. Increases in intimacy are indicated byu increases in self-disclosure, emphasis on loyalty and trust, and in responsiveness to the other's needs and feelings. This stage of development also coincides with an expanding social world in which individuals can be more selective as well as more inclusive, choosing friends who better match their interests, personality and needs from a wider range of acquaintances, including adult mentors as well as peers. It is not until fairly late into adolescence, however, that intimacy with opposite-sex peers develops. Cross-sex friendships are relatively rare before dating begins.

8. Adolescents who have intimate friendships typically have better mental health than more isolated peers, but whether this is a cause or an effect is unknnown. It seems llikely that intimacy and the social support that is part of such a relationships contributes to self-esteem, but also that mentally healthy adolescents are better able to establish and maintain close friendships.

9. Transitions (moves to another town, changes in school setting, etc) often disrupt adolescents' intimate relationships , resulting in loneliness. Few close friendships or romances survive the move to  residential college; attending college in the same town while living at home probably supports these relationships continuing more often.

10. Far less is known about adolescents' romantic relationships than about their intimate friendships, over the last half century, the significance of dating has changed from a courtship period to more recreational in nature.  In general, as we have noted in the section about peers, early in adolescence, groups tend to be same sex, and then move to mixed sex groups, then to causal dating in couples or 'double-dating' and then later in adolescence, to serious involvement with a serious partner. A moderate degree of dating without serious involvement until later adolescence is more highly correlated with better mental health than intense involvement in a couple or with no dating at all.

11. The average age at which people tend to marry has increased in the last fifty years. This is a positive trend, as those who marry young are at greater risk for marital dissatisfaction, divorce, lower levels of  educational achievement and lower social economic standing. 

SEXUALITY: I'll try to update these notes to the point we ended later in the week.