January 2002

Well.... Sasha is now coming to the point I believe. As much as I hate it-and as much as it saddens me I think the time is coming very soon when I must put her down.  It's not so much the cancer tumors-those are still there and they are all still growing.  Her behaviour is still pretty much the same, she's loving and affectionate, she eats like a little cow and plays like a kitten -she exibits none of the lethargic non eating symptoms her vet said would be a key. She has developed another problem.  Her immune system seems to be shutting down and she's developed double ear infections (which aren't bad in themselves-I do have drops for her so they stay pretty clear) and her scratches have created sores under her chin below her right ear.  She must have scratched pretty good, cut herself and since she cannot heal properly the cut has grown into a large sore, and what's worse is the fur is now gone from there.  There is no tumor there, but it will not heal and it is spreading.  She doesn't act like she's in pain with it-she moves her neck about quite fine and I can touch it and examine it fairly easily but none the less it is spreading and it will continue to spread until it is a major problem for her.  I've said this to my friends and I'll say it in here- I expected her to decline, I expected her cancer to get the better of her and for her to become distant, lethargic and stop eating.  Then I deemed I would know it was time for her.  But I never expected this-she is fine and playful despite all the cancer and yet a scratch -a simple nick below her ear turns into this 2 inch by 2 inch sore in a matter of two weeks.  I've made an appointment with her Vet (Jan. 22) to see what his thoughts are regarding this and if I'll have to put her down now, since the sore is not getting better no matter what I do and it's growing.  As shitty as it is to say I wish she would be more symptomatic with the cancer since taking her in and if I have to put her down within the week when she is loveable and fine is going to be a lot harder than I am prepared to deal with.  I'll keep ya'll posted after the vet appt. So expect this January Journal note to be much longer......  until then! Kit -January 19, 2002- ************************************************************ Well perhaps not that much longer... *grin* We were in for some shocking news at the vet.. It's true her immune system is lowering and she will occassionally get these problem sores but the vet was amazed at how well she is doing over all-the cancer has not spread to her neck area (as I was afraid) yet and all she needs is some antibiotics.  He re-evaluated her in lieu of her last visit in July and her cancer -though it's spread and is quite apparent she is still in good shape-better than she was when I first took her in which is not rather normal. She's gained a few pounds (I have been rather spoiling her lol!) and he said it was fine, indeed he said let her have fun and enjoy her time- he said with her amazing behaviour he figured she could make it for the better part of this year without having problems.  He gave her a shot to help her immune system fight off the infection from her sore and I have been diligently giving her the meds (which to my suprise it's far easier to have her take liquids rather than the pills -she tolerates that far better).  It is now the 5th day since I began her meds and her neck looks much healthier and she looks much better-and is as fun as ever. My lil trooper has not only suprised the vet but me as well, and for that I am grateful-getting a good vet note lifts a weight from my heart that I've had since last September-I've been worried and watching and now I can relax a bit-it seems she plans on being a little fighter and I cannot be pensive and upset over her condition, after all if she's fighting it so should I and hopefully I'll have her around for most of this year-either way I'm glad to finally have an idea of how she really is doing. I'll still be making monthly notes since it's become a ritual to me, it helps me and it helps those that like to keep tabs on her but hopefully I won't have anything bad to report for a long while !!! Kit- January 26, 2002