A new festive classic methinks.
Dirty Santa
Would you trust a man who breaks into your house
And wears a fake beard?
I don't think so, I don't think so
If it wasn't for the fact he gives you loads of free stuff,
Would you stil believe in him?
I don't think so
If you're a little kid, he's gonna sit you on his knee,
Bounce you up and down and then impail you on his Christmas tree
It's not just your kids that santas got presents for
He's also got a lovely package for your wife.
If you're a home owner, Be you queer or Cockney,
Santa's gonna empty his sack right down you're chimney
He only brings us presents so we forget the truth,
he's a bastard and he wears a red suit.
His elves are actually midgets,
Forced to do his bidding,
They're his bitches.
If you leave him mince pies,
He'll lace them with cocaine,
And feed them to your pets.
If you're a little kid, he's gonna sit you on his knee,
Bounce you up and down and then impail you on his Christmas tree
He only brings us presents so we forget the truth,
he's a bastard and he wears a red suit.
If you're a home owner, Be you queer or Cockney,
Santa's gonna empty his sack right down you're chimney
He only brings us presents so we forget the truth,
he's a bastard and he wears a red suit.