Don't you just hate those stories where just when it's getting interesting the character wakes up and it was all a dream!
	Dreaming? It had been a strange night, that parrot had really freaked him out, he had never even thought it possible that any creature could eat it's own forehead. Since then he'd been, what some might call, 'wigging out' a bit. You can understand why, after all, his left arm had fallen off. Perhaps this was some kind of sadistic payback, he had cheated on his wife the day before. She'd been acting up recently, you know, the usual rubbish "You're always looking at other women!" He just wanted to prove her wrong and when he met that bloke from the zoo, he jumped at the chance. "I'd never go off with another woman" he thought to himself as Bruce, that was the name of the guy who worked in the zoo, led him into the enclosure. It was dark, REM were playing on a little stereo in the corner, 'coincidence' he would think shortly after his death. But really, did he have to prove her wrong with an elephant, he wasn't sure, but it was too late.
				The parrot was still playing on his mind when he stepped out of the plane, the rush was amazing, freefalling, definately something everyone should try. Everything seems to become very clear, almost transparent, then as the blood rushes round opaque again. He passed through a cloud, it wasn't quite what he'd expected, no carebears, no Mary Poppins, bit of a let down really. Didn't even smell of much. Then he saw the ground only about 400 metres now, he wasn't slowing down, he screamed. Twice. "Argh!" he sat directly upright, it must have all been a dream, "how very queer", he thought. "Why'd you do it?" He suddenly noticed the gun about 4cm from his head. He couldn't feel his left leg. "An elepahnt.. you sick..." Maybe it wasn't all a dream. She shot him in the face. Twice.