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| The origin of the Flying Jackalope has been a mystery. There is no mention of it in any Indian lore, there are no cave drawings nor are there any fossil records of the animal or a close relative. There was a report of a fossil skeleton located in the Crow Buttes region near Buffalo, South Dakota, however, that was proven to be a hoax. It was shown that a scurrilous paleontologist had assembled bones from several other animals in an attempt to deceive the public and scientific community - HOW DESPICABLE! It should be noted that it is not believed that this animal is a close relative of the relatively common Jackalope found throughout much of the west. As science has made recent advances in understanding the origins of various organisms through evaluation of DNA and the genetic code, the current thoery suggests that the animal originated somewhere near Wall, South Dakota. Based on F-statistics, it is believed that some time around Augest 17, 1953 at 10:46 a.m., during the construction phase of the Eisenhower interstate system a pheasant, antelope jackrabbit, and a whitetail deer were simultaneously struck by a Peterville truck out of Ashtabula, Ohio, hauling a leaking load of organic chemicals. The chemicals mixed with the DNA oozing from the chushed cells of each of the deceased animals. This milieu |
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| was incubated for several hours due to residual heat from the asphalt surface of the highway. The mixture was then placed under extreme pressure when an 8.5 ton (7,711,200 g) steam roller, packing down the roadway, rolled over the collage resulting in the spontaneous formation of 7 Flying Jackalope propogules. Those 7 propogules developed twin embryos which were blown into a roadside ditch by a dust devil moving across the highway from the southwest. Absorbing nutrients from decomposing tadpole shrimp in an ephemeral pond in the roadside ditch, the embryos successfully developed and hatched into the first population of Flacks. Upon hatching the first life form they encountered was a hairy, heavily tattooed , leather clad human on a Cheif Roadwarrior motorcycle who tried to run them down. This encounter so shocked the Flacks that it caused a mutation in their genetic code which makes them avoid contact with all other life forms.Thus, they are only rarely seen. |
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| Interestingly, they are most frequently observed by the same variant of the life form which caused their avoidence behavior. Most of the reports (approximately 98.3452663%) of Flying Jackalope sightings occur from mid July through early Augest around Sturgis, South Dakota. It has been suggested that the heightened awareness resulting from mixing stimulants and depressants, a common practice among the mid-summer inhabitants of Sturgis, SD, makes the Flack more easily seen and probably produces the large number of reported occurrences from this area. |
| These animals are considered a federally endangered, dangerous species. If encountered run and contact a lawyer. The specimen on display above was found as a road kill near Cactus Flats, SD, and was obtained only after an armed confrontation with the South Dakota Friends of Liberty militia. It is held under a Federal Salvage Permit #1999ICAFOOL. |
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