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Fluffer: Hello, everyone. I’m the creator, writer, and director of “As the Blue Box Turns. Remember, this is only a soap opera, it’s all acting, none of this actually goes on here at the Isle of One-Eyed Joe. I decided not to be in it, because I figured I would end up making all the guys fall for me, and that might bore some of you, since it seems to be a recurring event on the rest of my site(what can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic). The actors/actresses are as follows: 
Jake is played by Matthew Lawrence 
Rachel is played by Leelee Sobieski 
Tobias is played by Rider Strong 
Cassie is played by Vanessa Lee Chester(the girl from The Lost World) 
Marco is played by Jonathan Taylor Thomas 
Ax is played by Paulo Costanzo 
Melissa is played by Kirsten Dunst 
Tom is played by Joey Lawrence 
Erek is played by Josh Hartnett 
Toby is played by Julia Stiles 
David is played by Ryan Philippe Episode One: Plassss-tic The scene begins in a fine Italian restaurant. Jake, Cassie, Tom, Melissa, Rachel, Tobias, Marco, Ax, Toby, and Erek are seated at one of those big tables, eating. Unbeknowst to the others, David is seated nearby, watching them… Jake:*stands up with Cassie* I’m sure all of you are wondering why Cassie and I asked you all to dinner tonight… Tobias:Yes, why are we here? Cassie:*holds out her left hand, blurts out* Jake and I are to be wed! *Squeals of delight from all the girls, EXCEPT Melissa; the guys get up and slap Jake on the back/shake hands/etc., EXCEPT for Tom and Ax, who looks extremely confused* Rachel:I can’t believe it, Cassie! Marco:Way to go, Jake! Tom:So, when do you plan on having the wedding? Melissa:Yeah, don’t rush the planning. Everything has to be perfect. Jake:Don’t worry. It will be at least a couple of months from now. Ax:Perfect…Purrrr-fect. This word sounds nothing like the other word I learned today that starts with the same letter. Plassssss-ticsur-JuREEE. Plassss-TIK surge ER-EE. JurrrrrrEEEE. *Tobias attempts to shut Ax up as Rachel’s cheeks begin to blush;everyone else looks at Ax* Toby:Ax? How’d you learn that word? Ax:Tobias told me it was a procedure that some people go through to keep their appearance attractive to others. *turns to Rachel* Is it very painful, Rachel? *collective gasp* Rachel:*her eyes narrow in anger* I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ax, but I do have something to say to Tobias. WE’RE THROUGH! I don’t care if the POPE himself is your shorm, there are some things that shouldn’t be told to anyone. I thought I could trust you…*trails off, grabs her purse and flees before anyone sees her bursting into tears* Marco:You know, I think she needs comforting. I’ll see ya’ll later. *leaves* Erek:Wait up, Marco, I’m gonna comfort her, too! But first- *he turns toward Tobias and socks him in the jaw; Tobias slumps to the ground; Ax faints before Erek can get his hands on him; Toby rushes to make sure Tobias is okay* Cassie:Erek! You violated your programming! Erek:In cases of extreme emotion, it’s possible for me to do that. Tobias obviously hurt Rachel. He deserved what he got. And now, I’m off to comfort Rachel. *leaves* Jake:I hope this isn’t an indication of what our wedding will be like… Cassie:Don’t worry, Jake. We love each other, and that will get us through anything. Melissa:*off to the side, out of earshot* Just wait, Cassie. Jake will be mine. I’m certain of it. Tom:*off to the side, out of earshot* I’m sorry, brother Jake, but I cannot let you have Cassie. I will do everything in my power to prevent it. Toby: *To the unconscious Tobias* Don’t worry, Tobias. I’ll make sure Ax pays for the pain he’s caused you. But perhaps it was for the best. Now you and I…there’s a chance… David:Heh, heh. Everything is going according to my deviously ingenious complicated plans…bwah-hah-hah! Stay tuned for Episode Two: Comfort Comes in Three’s |
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