Personally, for romance I prefer lesbian movies. And not just for some personal sexual fetish (not anymore anyway - when I was fourteen ... well that's a whole other story). I like lesbian films because straight cinema always seems to be indoctrinating me as to how men and women are supposed to act (or not act). Watching a film of two women falling in love allows me to identify with both the pursuer and the beloved. The obvious question I'm often asked is: why not gay male romances as well. Well... for one they still seem to be trying to tell me how I (as a man) am supposed to act. Another reason is due to Hollywood's general fear about the subject (of gay men). The number of such films made are very few, therefore make the number of good ones almost non-existent. Also I may have a little subconscious homophobia that I can't even admit to myself yet.

But what makes a film lesbian? Having a lesbian starring in it? Well the we'd have to include the only funny in hindsight "Mr. Wrong" starring Ellen Degeneres. Having a lesbian character in it? Then you'd have Spike Lee's debut "She's Gotta Have It", but she's hardly a main character. Having a lesbian as a main character would mean qualifying "Chasing Amy", which although about a lesbian, is primarily focused on a lesbian's love affair with a man. (Now, I'm no expert on the subject, but from what I understand sleeping with men is not exactly what lesbians do.)

So does a lesbian film mean one written by a lesbian? Well then we'd have to include "American Psycho" and exclude "But I'm A Cheerleader" (which was actually written by a man). What about movies revolving around two women falling in love? Well, then does "Boys Don't Cry" count? Sure they're two women, but one doesn't know it, and the other doesn't really think of herself that way. Ah ... who knows? Does it matter if a film (or a person) gay or straight or whatever it defines itself as. You know what I mean.

Now early lesbian films like "Desert Hearts" starring Helen Shaver and "Personal Best" starring Mariel Hemingway are not so well known for how well they were made but rather for the fact they were even made at all. Sure they tried to cross into the American mainstream, but ended up relegated to underground college art film gay and lesbian festival circuit screenings. These movies tended to be very somber and tragic (in the Shakespearean sense of the word). Dramas that often ended unhappily for the lovers.

And while I agree that prescribing doom and heartache (and frequently suicide) for all lesbians is unpleasant image to be your only choice of self-reflection on screen, I admit to a secret affection for them. In these days where so many cross-cultural mating boundaries have been crossed, dealt with and eventually accepted, there is very little left to keep the two (or more) lovers apart anymore. At least from an external force. The princess can marry the stable boy, the rich and the poor, the old and the young, the black and the white, society won't try and break them up with the same passion they once had. In fact ever since 1977's "Annie Hall" the thing that most frequently keeps couples in movies from their happily ever after is themselves and their own hang-ups and paranoias. So for you modern Romeo & Juliet style star-crossed lovers torn apart by their respective families you have to go to lesbian cinema.

But then there was a turning point. Best illustrated in "The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love" by Laurel Holloman (the title a slight nod to the all but forgotten "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-up Zombie Creatures") The first half of the movie is your typical drama. Learning to accept who I am and how I'm feeling. Should I tell my family? How will they re-act? etc. etc. And then halfway through the film abruptly changes gears. The lovers get caught and suddenly it's a wacky screwball farce. It's funny. It's a little silly. Sure not everyone accepts them, but enough do to have fun with the fact. I mean, really where would today's romantic comedies be without the possibilities created by alternative sexual orientations.

This change was a good thing. Allowing such fun films as "Better Than Chocolate" and the aforementioned "But I'm A Cheerleader". But it also meant we got watered down stuff like "All Over Me" which really could've been a Freddie Prinze Jr. movie only with a girl play Freddie's part. Utterly forgettable. While films like "High Art" with Ally Sheedy and the recent "Lost and Delirious" - both of which I really enjoyed - are dismissed as being throwbacks to those sad old days.

But then there's films like "Go Fish" which may mark the beginning of a new age in lesbian cinema. Both the older, less hopeful films and these newer, wackier comedies tend to center on the coming out. The experience of realizing one is a lesbian and of how to share that. And for a while that was certainly a big traumatic life experience that all lesbians had in common. Good stuff for storytelling. But as more and more people become used to the whole homosexual concept, other aspects of lesbian life need to be explored by the camera. And "Go Fish" - while I was not particularly impressed with it - is a good example. Everybody's already a lesbian before the movie starts. And they will continue to be lesbians whether or not this relationship works out. You don't even have to worry about what society is going to say, because they all live in a society that not only is all-encouraging, but is in fact almost totally lesbian itself.

It's kind of like the nearly forgotten lesbian-incest film "Sister, My Sister". While this is never pointed out in any of their merchandising and I don't even know if it was a deliberate intention of the filmmakers, but not once do you ever see a man on screen (although you do hear the voice of a male photographer in one scene). In fact, they are hardly ever even mentioned. And while this society is far less accepting than the one in "Go Fish" (it is a period piece after all) it is fascinating to note that nobody ever noticed - or at least said - anything about it.

"Sister, My Sister" is based on a true life story and does end bloodily. Much like "Heavenly Creatures". But it's hard to say whether the main characters are really lesbians or simply young girls who do EVERYTHING together in some sort of sick symbiotic relationship. But while some may have heard of "Heavenly Creatures", for psychotic lesbians on a killing spree I would recommend "Butterfly Kiss" starring Amanda Plummer. Now that is a great film I cannot say enough about, so I won't. Just rent it.

But if you're looking for lesbian lovers running from the law, you might want to skip "Bound". Done by the guys who later made "The Matrix", the only reason the plumber is played by Gina Gershon instead of say Tom Berenger or Treat Williams is simply so that you can get two naked women for the price of one during the obligatory sex scene. It reminds me of "Basic Instinct" or the direct-to-video oeuvre of Alyssa Milano. It's just porn for people to embarrassed to rent porn.
Although while we're on the subject of steamy sex scenes, I consulted my lesbian friend Nubia, and according to her the only love scene she's ever seen where it didn't look like the to actresses were secretly gagging was the otherwise unmemorable "Wild Side" with Christopher Walken and Joan Chen.

But really if you're looking for a glimpse of what going on in men's minds in regards to lesbians skip "Chasing Amy". While it flaunts its lesbianism on it's sleeve, the fact that the character (who is not named Amy by the way) is a lesbian is about as important to who she is in the movie as the fact that she's right-handed. Instead, I highly recommend "The Sex Monster" (starring Mariel Hemmingway who was also in "Personal Best" oh so many years ago). Not nearly as good a movie as "Chasing Amy" it does admit to why the whole lipstick lesbian chic is so accepted. The main reason is the vain hope that we can watch ... or maybe even join in. Although most men forget that this would require bisexuals, not lesbians. I have a theory that the reason so many men are into lesbianism is imply because they want someone to share their deepest, most personal secrets with. The only problem is our deepest, innermost feelings are simply, "I want to sleep with women". We all just want to find a woman to share that with. But "The Sex Monster" also uncovers many men's secret fear that, if women tried it, they not only like it ... but like it so much that they'd never sleep with us again. Therein lies the homophobia that creates the impression that while most gay men are less misogynistic than those who actually have sex with women, all lesbians are really man haters.

Anyway... that's really all I had to say on the subject. I wait breathlessly for the next brave lesbian romance to come out and tug my heartstrings. And while they don't build lesbians like they used to (Anne Heche and Sinead have both married men. Even Julie Cypher decided that she might not really be gay - even after giving birth to David Crosby's baby for Melissa) I hope they keep coming out with new and better lesbian films. There's more of a market out there than Hollywood might think.
But then again, what do I know? I'm just a guy... anyone out there with a more informed opinion?