Getting past the prologue was an achievement and only mastered due to the price paid for the book acting as motivator.
The flash fiction aspect wasn’t what bothered me. Disassemble the scene and it could hold both shock value and eroticism rather than simply sex. It’s the writing that lets down the story, if reading this as a first draft I’d be anticipation and encouragement.
For a published novel it lacks gloss and editing. Too many sentences begin with He in the first paragraph alone. Discouraging in a piece about two men! This trend continues throughout the book. Also I stumbled upon a number of typing errors places where the punctuation appeared to have been missed. As someone who’s own grammar needs work, and an inability to type both fast and accuracy I’m not normally one to pick up on these errors. The fact that I did persuades me there are too many present.
Characters have little depth and are all unnaturally handsome. Not one scar or blemish. No one short or fat. Fantasies are one thing but a little bit of realism wouldn’t hurt. Descriptions are added awkwardly which detracted from their appeal. Adding adjectives to increase your word count is a tried and tested tactic but I would hope to see it done more smoothly.
I will not be reading further books. The only reason to do so would be to read of the vampires and psychic in a threesome and the two cops getting it on. Everyone is so gorgeous we might as well end the series early with a major orgy; he who cums last gets torn asunder by the pet piranhas! Fan-fic anyone?
I’m guessing this is what gets classed under the erotica umbrella and while I’ve no objection to sex in books or even unconventional pairings I prefer more story.