(Thank You Emma for "Forehead". Much Love.)
Every time something good happens in your life make it go away.
Maintain hair that goes down to (at least) your temple.
Date every woman you know.
Be celibate for long periods of time.
Earn money through death/contest and only through death/contest.
Experience a death every year.
Yearn for more experienced girls but keep ending up with Joey.
Stand on boats.
Be the hero.
Keep the same set of friends for the rest of your life.
Look twenty-eight but be nineteen
Must obtain a freakishly large forehead.
