At least it wasn’t Hotlanta

But it damn sure wasn’t cold. So I had to go to Augusta, GA. Since flying from RDU to Augusta made sense, Deere decided I should drive. At no time was I asked about by directional capabilities. I was told the door-to-door driving time was right at 5hrs. This would be true, if you never used the brake. First of all, I can’t stay awake that long at once. Second, I like to pee. And if you recall my little ‘fat-stuffing game’ you know I need to eat. And even though I was willing to combine activities (ie, using a roadside dumpster as a urinal, sleeping quarters and diner), it still took 6.25 hrs.

Of course I couldn’t get started without an incident. Again my travel agent fails to read the info I gave her. Cruise Control. No way I’m driving a Geo with no Cruise down to GA. Luckily the folks at Enterprise know me now and Jason took care of it (new Impala – an offense to Quinn – with Cruise for same price). So after my actual work requirements (I don’t even know what they are, I just started talking to people and asking them questions so I looked busy and important), I went out and played disc golf of course.

And I’ve played a lot of dgolf lately. When I was back in VaBch a few weeks ago I played so much I thought I threw my arm out. Amazingly, the courses in Moline were well kept and fun (though a lot less hills and trees of course). The course I played in Augusta was a disappointment though – no hole diagrams, no way to know where next tee was. Ugh. And it was a bit hot. It was 6:30 so I figured it had a chance to cool down by then. It did. All the way down to 94 degrees. Dammit man. So I just played the one course and went to the mall.

Wasn’t impressed with the mall, but it wasn’t horrible. I was, however, impressed with my room. What I could see of it anyway. It seemed to go on long past the horizon. The place was bigger than my house. It had a TV, coffee maker and bed of course, plus some chairs. Ok. It also had a dinette set, with chairs, a table with executive chair, a hutch for the TV, a couch in front of the TV, and some furniture things I don’t even know the names for. A few end tables, a few different phones, and a few mirrors. The bed itself was the size of Delaware and it had an Olympic size swimming pool as my combo shower/Jacuzzi.

I physically tired myself out trying to get around and sit/play with every option in the room. It was like some kind of odd fun/furniture challenge. The dual HVAC units and sinks were nice too, along with a safe, closet and a slew of lights. And switches, though I never figured out what they did. It also had a mall microwave and a fridge (with freezer). Then there was the VCR and Nintendo (not free, damn). And, what would you bid for such a palace here on Showcase Showdown? I’m sorry, you’ve gone over. The actual price was $55. Oh yeah.

It was such a good deal even the military caught on. And that says a lot doesn’t it? Jj. But seriously, the place was half Marines. Actually staying there during their training. As I’m checking email computer in the free use Business Needs office, a girl is beside me using the copier (which doubled as a fax, both free). Using my anti-superpower to sense she was unavailable I quickly and easily struck up a conversation with her. Turns out she’s the fitness instructor for her class/group/unit/whatever, she’s there for 4months and on her own figured out (she was a West Point grad after all) it would be cheaper and easier to live in a nice hotel for 4months rather than get a short-term lease and rent furniture in an apartment. Of course, there’s the advantage of maid service. Oh yeah, and she was hot.

Which of course meant that she had no other option after her 4 months than to go to Korea for a year. Dammit. The only thing better than a babe, is a babe that can kick the crap out of you. Oh yeah. I met a few other marines there (and let’s not forget our friend Bob) as well. They were tired. Very tired. I thought one guy was going to fall on me. That would have sucked.

Another thing that sucked was the parking when I went to Moline (prior trip). I eventually had to go to Park and Ride: Kansas to get a spot. Dammit. I literally chased the bus down and barely made my flight. The only thing worse than riding that bus? Riding it back with a guy checking you out the whole way. At least he wasn’t ugly.

Next up: things that didn’t suck