When ordinary people have too much money

So we get invited to a party this weekend. Cool. Expected things to go like the last few parties, we are prepared for a casual, low-key evening. And also to get lost. That we did. But this time, we weren’t the only ones. We actually followed another lost soul. The poor man probably thought we were stalking him. Every wrong turn he took, so did we. Four of them actually. But finally we find the place. At this point we know something was different. For one, there were a lot of cars about. Two, the house was big. Three, it was in a neighborhood we aren’t normally allowed in.

But we didn’t really care. We chatted up our stalking friend and headed into the house with a giant bottle of gin. I mean, that was a lot of gin. Why so much? We were supposed to bring some alcohol to the party according to your last name. With 3 of us ending in "B", we had gin. This alone wasn’t bad until you thought of the implications – a lot of people bring hard liquor was probably a bad idea.

Now let’s define "a lot of people". I think it was roughly everyone. I really haven’t a good guess, but once in we were told it was over 110 last year and this year was a bit less. Wow, there was a lot of flesh about. Worse, everyone else had the since to dress up. Glad my friends are slackers too. But at least I wasn’t the one wearing mouse slippers. No really, you had to see this. On top of that, she made Kurt Warner’s wife look good. Ouch.

The party turned out to be about half Jaycees and half WorldCom folks. Interesting. It also had a DJ, a bartender and a foosball table. Oh yeah. The DJ was actually using a computer, the bartender kissed one of my friends on the hand (it was a woman bartender and a male friend though at least) and the foosball table was odd. More odd was the conversation around the foosball table (let’s just say one of our friends was a little tipsy and phrases like "pound it in" kept flying). Across the street was ping-pong but I didn’t get a chance to check that out.

So after a few hours of mingling, watching others dance and playing games, what else could you ask for? That’s right, "Striped Shirt Guy" (SSG). Every "good" party has a SSG. That’s because there’s always someone there who drinks too much. Too much to be healthy, but they somehow manage to stay standing. Now, if the SSG is really ‘fun’, he likes to dance. And of course, SSG cannot dance without groping.

So now everyone is watching their backs and guys are now trying to run interference for the ladies. It’s an amusing site. It gets more so when SSG seems to lose count if the person he’s hanging on is a male or female. Now we’re all scared! What’s worse? That even in his drunken, slobbering, scary state, this man has better rhythm and gets more action than I do! Dammit.

Of course now the night is winding down and I’m already tired. Unfortunately my friends like to drink. And talk. About what I don’t know, I just wanted to go home. Of course it took roughly two hours to get them out of the house and into the car. And working on only two donuts, a brownie and a handful of chips over 2 days, I didn’t have much more energy to plea with them. We did finally make it home and I got some sleep. Some being the operative word. Ugh.

But on the whole, I highly recommend going to rich friend’s houses and partying. Cause I know I can’t afford the maid service!

Hope your weekend was fun too,

Clay