There are many who decry the Hip-Hop industry sends the wrong message to our youth. They point to rappers and state that they have a responsibility to create imagery that empowers our communities. More, critics offer that rappers should present themselves as role models for our youth, Black youth. Well, my experiences in the rap industry, as a dancer for whom I will call MC Malet, have lead me to the belief that some of the Black men who comprise the rap industry are incapable of serving as responsible models. Their negative representations are a direct reflection of who they are. Specifically, it has been my experience behind the scenes within this industry that make this thesis salient.

It must be realized that I do understand the social inequities through which our Black men are socialized. Their hardships and psychic traumas play a huge part in producing the deviant mindsets that prevail within some rappers. I am also aware that there are many rappers who are empowering to the community and our youth. Additionally, the rap stars themselves cannot be responsible for the actions of each and every one of their business partners, associates and friends who comprise their 'posses.' But that does not dismiss, nor should it serve as an apology for the appalling behavior that I witnessed and was subjected to during my almost two years working for MC Malet.

Immediately, there is always the same old tale of dancers serving as sexual objects within rap music videos. This, however, appears only natural considering the MC Malet and his posse's view and treatment of female dancers that prevailed during my experiences. During my tenure in this group all dancers were pressured in one way or another to succumb to the sexual advances of the men that governed us. These men made wagers over who they would be able to have sex with and how many they could go through. The dancers, based on intimate discussions, felt that acquiescing to the sexual demands might somehow increase their chances of longevity as a Malet dancer. That is, if they did not have sex with one or some of these men they felt that they would be ostracized, looked down upon and/or even fired. The pressure these girls were subjected to was ridiculous. The sexual harassment was rampant. Additionally, the minute a dancer decided to be intimate, she was dubbed as easy, ridiculed behind her back and her sexual performance shared with others. The majority of the men in MC Malet's posse had absolutely no respect for women on any level.

It must be noted that for quite a while I was able to dismiss this pressure. I believe that it was because I was slightly older, had a business like demeanor, and maintained a personal reserve. Thus, I gained a little more respect than many of the dancers, although my nickname was still 'juicy booty.' But as soon as I did choose a lover, I was subjected to the same belittlement, which I will share a little later in this essay.

On a regular basis the female dancers were called names, especially 'bitch'. Our own security guards called us 'bitches'. I can remember one time all the dancers got tired of this title and called a meeting with the Man, himself, to put a stop to it. So clearly I recall his saying, "If you didn't act like one, you wouldn't be called one." Well, I was stunned and taken aback. Obviously, with the leader of the pack maintaining such a degrading notion of women how could his underlings' attitudes be anything other than degrading? This, however, was not the extent of the heinous treatment that occurred behind scenes.

Girls were taunted for body parts that the 'posse,' Malet's constituents, felt were unattractive. There were two dancers who became so insecure with the feature that was continually pointed out that they had plastic surgery. One dancer got a nose job and was still ridiculed after it was done. Another dancer actually got a butt job. This woman looked great. She could also dance her ass off, had energy and knew how to work the crowd. It was a shame that she gave into the insinuations of a group of men with such jaded and sick perspectives. Once she got a bigger butt, her figure appeared to be much bigger that it was. So, she was then called 'fat' and talked about because she could only dance for a few hours at time, as her butt hurt during long rehearsals.

And speaking of my best friend, she and I were too close for the 'posse.' Having a close friend that you spent a lot of time with and relied on for emotional support, in addition to having someone help ward off sexual advances and its pressures was a no-no. The males in the group called us lesbians and spread that rumor within the posse in an attempt to thwart our bond. 'Divide and conquer' was the motto, which was successful to an extent.

What I have shared thus far is to reveal the type of environment women are exposed to in Malet's rap 'posse.' It also goes to support the premise offered earlier. How can these men be role models and empower anyone, let alone our youth, when they have some serious issues? The sexual harassment and pressures that they used to have their way, the profane language they defined us by and the sick type of authority through which they strived to control our very bodies, all of these factors underscore the development of some imagery we see in many rap music videos and color the messages of some rap songs. These distorted ideas are not the only ones that were rampant in my experiences as a Malet dancer and that potentially influence the tone of the rap industry. There was also physical abuse.

As promised earlier, I will share the level of demeaning I was subjected to once I did chose a lover. Because I picked one lover over another who wanted to 'get with me' I was continually harassed. This scorned individual, one of our security guards, called me 'bitch' and 'ho'. This behavior escalated to the point where he actually balled up his fist and punched me in the head, knocking me down in my seat. But this was not enough. We were on a tour bus when this happened and for what seemed like an eternity he chased me through the bus screaming that he was going to kill me. I was running for my life. And believe it our not, because I could not, when I got to the last room on the bus the male dancers within it closed the door on me and locked it, as this crazed being was hot on my trail with rage in his eyes. The situation reached such a point that the bus driver had to pull off the road and my nemesis had to be forcibly removed, although he was still able to maintain his job. On the other hand, I was fired. Moreover, I had a concussion and no one would even take me the hospital. I had to call a taxi at the hotel for transportation. But that was not the only instance of physical abuse.

There was another instance preceding my drama in which one of the singers signed to Malet's label and who was performing during our tour had a problem with her lover, our road manager. For some reason I was called into their hotel suite to support her accusations. She felt I knew something that confirmed her suspicions of her lover's infidelities. Once inside the room I witnessed her lover trying to beat her up. Right in the middle of this horror I was subjected to a level of animal like behavior that I could not believe. The singer was being beat, thus she had to fight back. Again, for what seem like an eternity before I could ease myself out of the room, they fought hand and foot, tooth and nail. Of course, the police were not called, as they were not summoned in my situation.

Now, I am not absolving anyone of the role they played in stirring up the situations, especially myself, nor the singer. The purpose of revealing these experiences is just to share the level of dysfunctionality that was rampant in this 'posse.' The men clearly felt that they had the power to do anything to the women in this group they choose to - demeaning conversation and behavior, physical and emotional abuse.

These experiences exemplify some of the imagery we witness in some rap videos and, of course, we hear it many raps. If my experiences are any indication of what women have to deal with in the rap industry, then how can the tone of rap videos and songs be change to reflect more positive message? It can't. It would not be too far fetched to say that some rappers and their cohorts need psychiatric help, or at least psychoanalysis. Also, it would appear that some of the women involved in this industry need help for continually subjecting their bodies and emotions to the whims of deviant minds.

Now I know this essay will raise more questions than it answers. My goal in writing this was to represent a behind scene perceptive that I feel may help to create the level of degrading imagery upon which rap is structured and which stifles the empowering potential of the Hip-Hop industry. I welcome criticism, questions and comments.

Until We Meet Again, Peace