7/15/02
PART ONE
Max: Nora, so nice to see you. What the hell is that get up she's wearing? Why haven't you called?
Nora: We talked earlier this morning, remember?
Max: Yes. But in my marriage, one day is like a thousand years. I hope she doesn't think I'm coming onto her.
Nora: Hmm.
Max: I need you to move faster. I guess it could've been worse..I could've woke up in Vegas with Nora lying next to me.
Nora: Hang in there.
Max: No, I'm serious -- Shut up, woman!
Nora: We'll get you out.
Max: I'm serious. I can't take this, ok? You want to know why I helped sponsor this whole shindig here? Not to watch you shift drinks all night.
Nora: So you could get out of the house and talk to sane, intelligent people?
Max: Got it. Not like you're one of them. I swear, five more minutes with that woman and I will be absolutely --
Roxy: Yo, Maximillian!
Max: Aye -- Hideous ontop of ugly!
Roxy: Hi.
Nora: Hi.
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Max: I didn't invite you to the party because I didn't think it was your kind of party. Maybe if I get drunk enough, I won't notice her haggish looks.
Roxy: Hey, you don't know me very well. Any kind of party is my kind of party.
Gabrielle: Max, I need to speak to you.
Max: Now? Finally, a gorgeous face!
Gabrielle: Yes. It's very important.
Max: I guess I won't need that drink after all.
Gabrielle: I am worried -- extremely worried about Al.
Max: Give it a rest, would you? I want to talk about sex...between you and me.
Gabrielle: No, I'm not going to give it a rest because he won't give it a rest. He will not accept that Jen wants to be with Cristian.
Max: Just give him time. Thank God I'm tall, I can see right down her dress.
Gabrielle: We have given him time. I really feel that he needs professional help. What do you think about asking Rae Cummings to take him on as a patient? Because then at least we would know that he was getting care from a qualified professional.
Max: Hot damn, she's crazy sexy cool!
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Roxy: Hey, wait -- wait a second. Hey --
Max: Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a fishhook in it.
[Gabrielle laughs]
Max: She laughed. She liked my joke. Score! Don't -- no, don't go there, please.
Gabrielle: As hysterical as your marriage is, I am still very, very concerned about our son.
Max: Gabrielle, he doesn't want help. I can't help but picture Gabrielle naked right now.
Gabrielle: But perhaps we could talk to him and convince him.
Max: He almost married the girl, all right? Of course he's going to have a tough time getting over her. Like I did getting over you. You're too hot to let go.
Gabrielle: Max, spending your life fixated on someone who will never love you back is a -- is a terrible way to live.
Max: I wonder if she's noticed that I've been playing pocket pool this whole time?
Roxy: Oh, this place is really swell.
Max: Ew, Roxy, go away. You're ruining a great moment here.
Gabrielle: Never mind, Max. I'll go and talk to Rae Cummings myself.
Roxy: Honey, if this Rae is so great, maybe she could give us a little marriage counseling.
Max: I am totally turned off now.
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Roxy goes to light her cigerette and Max snatches it away.
Max: Such rudeness. I wish Gabrielle was sitting on my lap or giving me a lap dance.
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After Asa announced that Rae Cummings was a man.
Max: I think Roxy is, too.