Roxy: Oh, yeah, she had a sex change.

Max: You are an idiot. How can I day dream about Gabrielle naked in a hot tub when you're yap is running non-stop?

Roxy: No, you're an idiot. I'm telling you, look at her. I mean, spiky hair, square head. That's a guy. I should know.

Max: Shut your cake hole. Should hear what she says about you.

Roxy: What?

Max: Forget it. Man, she's dense.

Roxy: I'm telling you, that's a sex change. I'll lay you 20 bucks on it.

Max: Shut the hell up! I don't gamble anymore, remember? Look, I'm ignoring you.

Roxy: Party pooper.

-----------------------

Roxy: Last call for that 20. You're making me look like an ass in front of Gabrielle. Now Stop, damnit!

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Rae: You see, I so desperately wanted to be a therapist. I wanted to help others. I just couldn't face the thought of failing. Then the opportunity presented itself. Ray Cummings and I were in the same class together. He graduated and I didn't. The powers that be thought that I was too emotionally involved with my patients, that I cared too much. So when ray Cummings' credentials came in misspelled r-a-e, I took his name and his life.

Roxy: You should have bet me, sucker.

Max: I hate you.

Rae: I always hated the name Gretel. The misspelled diploma -- I took that as a sign. I had my name legally changed to Rae Cummings and I started to do the work that I thought I would have all my life. I have been passing myself off as a therapist ever since.

Roxy: Well, I've seen my share of cons, but this one beats them all.

Max: You obviously don't know Gabrielle that well.

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Gabrielle: Dr. Rae Cummings taking over someone else's identity? I can't believe it. Not to mention a friend. And then how many years she got away with it.

Roxy and Max: Sounds like something you would do. Did I just think the same thought as Roxy? I'm losing my cool.

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Roxy: Looks like the woman of the year award is up for grabs. Hey, hubba-hubba, did you hear anything I just said?

Max: Nope. All I'm hearing are the sounds of Gabrielle and I making love. Yeah, hilarious.

Roxy: Why you being so mean to me? I didn't do nothing.

Max: Yeah, you did, and I don't want you getting the wrong idea. I love Gabrielle. Not you.

Roxy: Huh?

Max: I don't like you, Roxanne. Don't like you one bit. I hope Gabrielle follows me home.

Gabrielle: Hey, hey, don't listen to him. He's crazy about you and he just can't admit it.

Roxy: Oh, you think so?

Gabrielle: I'm an expert on max, and he's head over heels.

Roxy: Yeah, then why does he treat me like I'm nuclear waste?

Gabrielle: Well, probably because he's afraid of his feelings, that's all.

Roxy: Hey, gabby, since you're the expert on him, how do I get him to show his feelings?

Gabrielle: Well, have you considered a makeover?

Roxy: What do you think this is?

Gabrielle: Not nearly enough, dear, not nearly enough.