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How I got better |
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Well firstly, I stopped watching movies that could trigger me, namely horror movies, and psychological thrillers which I absolutely adore. It happened after I had a dream about God who told me to stop watching these sort of movies. My parents took it literally and banned me from watching movies like The Craft and horror movies. |
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I also was banned from reading my favourite books; horror novels like Dracula by Bram Stoker (my all time favourite novel which I read before the ban), and paganistic books about cults and murders (though I use to keep a copy of a book about famous murders underneath my bed). |
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I am sometimes permitted to watch the news, especially since some stuff on it can be triggering to my fragile brain cells. Murders and killings makes me want to kill myself so that others won't need to suffer (I have a weird logic). I used to starve myself also because I saw a documentary about starving children. I wanted to die at that stage too, but I also wanted to suffer like what those children did. There was a mixture of reasons to why I became anorexic at 9 years old. My parents don't always monitor me, but I monitor myself. If I start to cry during the news programs and start to get depressed I usually go somewhere else. |
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This bit can be triggering as it talks about what I read in the news |
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Reading the newspaper can be triggering as well to my delicate brain cells. I read about a teenager killing an animal and I cut the article out and kept it. I also read about a teenager who watched Snuff movies (real videotapes about people getting killed and dismembered etc). He then killed his friend and had sex with his ex girlfriend afterwards. It happened like 3 years ago but I got that thing memoriesed. |
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I used to cut myself as well, with a razor I got. I threw it away though, after I thought Jesus told me to throw it away. Ever since I've stopped cutting. That was a year ago. If you have a SI problem, please do the same if you want to stop. It's the best advice I can give (throw away your razors!) (Please read update on my progress..I've recently slid back to my self injury old ways.... |
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Oh well, I lead a bland life filled with God and Jesus and Mother Mary.....But I guess all these has helped me somehow. I hope some of it will help you too. BYE! |
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