Music and Movie Reviews
Music reviews will be in red, movies will be in
purple



Matrix:Reloaded
Yeah, I was more than slightly disappointed with this movie, as you may have read in my blog, but the special effects and fight scenes were Reloaded's saving grace. However, the poor writing was still unacceptable. And the ending was the worst I've seen since Lord of the Rings, which was projectile vomit -inducing. With the first movie, it could have been left at that. But with Reloaded, the last frame before the credits is "To Be Concluded", which means that they will finish it in Matrix:Revolutions, coming out later this year. They leave you hanging with something that makes absolutely no sense. I guess I can't complain. After all, it is the Matrix...

Stealing Harvard

Staring Jason Lee and Tom Green, this movie was truly pathetic. The only funny moment in the entire movie was in the toy store, where Tom and Jason are buying toy guns to hold up a liquor store. When they can't find any realistic-looking guns, Tom suggests a slingshot."A slingshot isn't a real weapon!" Jason whines, but Tom simply cocks back a shot in the toy and replies "Define 'weapon' when this plastic doll head blows through your temple at 180 miles per hour!". That was hilarious. But now that I've ruined the entire movie for you, you have absolutely no reason to go see it! So don't! Go see Ecks vs. Sever.


> White Blood Cells is a masterpiece in old school rock & roll, and the White Stripes are the most original band I've seen in a long time. They're the most original band I've seen on MTV in a LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG time. They bring back rock and roll like it was in the 60's and throw in a little pop and blues. The band is made up of Jack and Meg White, who claim to be brother and sister. There have been rumors that they are actually ex-husband and wife, but if the mournful expression that they always seem to display on their faces is any indication, they probably are siblings. The image to the right is the cover for White Blood Cells and I have absolutely no idea what it means, but if you've ever heard their music, you kind of understand that it's their kind of thing. Tracks that stand out the most are Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground, which is the story of a man who comes home to find that his woman threw a big party and trashed the house before leaving him, Hotel Yorba which is a country-infused foot stomper about a simple man who wants to live by the lake with his wife, and Fell in Love with a Girl which is a slamming garage band song about.... well you can probably guess, but it's not a generic love song like most of that disposable crap on TV. You need to check it out for yourself to get the full experience. You might also check out iFilm.com and search for "The White Stripes". There are videos of Fell in Love with a Girl and Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground. However, if you have a slow connection, don't even bother. To sum it up: MTV = generic crap, White Stripes = orginal rock, 56k = don't go to the link above. Seeya next time.
Con Air

Yeah, I know, I know. "What are you doing?Con Air is 5 or 6 years old! Review a new movie! Review a new album! FEED ME!! PLAY WITH ME!!! STOP HITTING ME!!!! STOP IT!!!". Took the words right off your lips, right? Well that just sucks for you, because I just saw Con Air on USA and I want to talk about it.
With an all-star cast of Nick Cage, John Malkovich, Steve Bucemi, and Kevin Somethingoranother, this movie has some serious star power. Naturally, the more you spend on the cast, the less you spend on the writing, *cough*ocean's eleven*cough*cough*. But for a tacky action movie, Con Air really pulls it off. Nick Cage is great with his completely fake southern accent, and John Malkovich is brilliant as usual, but it has a real authentic action movie feel, unlike some movies I know *cough*Collateral Damage*cough*cough*. And no matter how cheap and dumb a movie is, you got to love a film that gives the world the line "Nobody move or the bunny gets it". In all, go rent this instead of seeing Stealing Harvard. NOW!! THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS COMMANDS YOU TO... um... just go get the movie.


The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys (soundtrack)
This edition I bring you not an old, outdated piece, nor a trendy new piece of garbage. This time, I bring you obscurity. Since more people voted for Pat Buchanon in 2000 than saw this movie, I doubt you've ever heard of it. It's pretty much your standard coming-of-age story; boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy's friend gets attacked by mountain lion. But I'm not here to talk about the movie, I'm here to talk about the soundtrack.
The CD has 20 tracks, and I only listen to 6 of them, because the rest are symphonic scores. Even though it only has a few good songs, I would definitely suggest buying this album, because believe me, those few songs are worth it. Granted, 2 of those 6 were not written for the movie ("On the Road Again", by Canned Heat, and "Do It for the Others", by Steven Stills), but they're still great music, and the other 4 ain't bad. While the quality is nice, the quantity is lacking, so I can't truly gush about this album as I did to the last one I reviewed. All the same, I believe it's a worthwhile investment of your hard earned $20.