Help Me Start My Own Global Corporation

Okay, here's the story ...

Things being a little bit tight for me, I figured I'd do something really crappy and knock up my own freeloader site. It doesn't take any ingenuity, and all it needs is just a single Web page telling everyone that I need some dosh, like pretty sharpish.

I've done other stuff on the Web, and it's all been a complete wash out. The Internet is basically a pile of shit, and everyone wants something for nothing, so I guess the only option is to jump on the bandwagon and hook into the something for nothing culture.

So, before doing this, I did a bit of research of the old 'Send me some bucks' sites. There's a pretty in-depth listing on a site called except that most of the links are broken, so not much cop really. A few of them are still going, though most of them are real lard-ass rubbish so don't bother checking them out.

Apart from saving Karyn's ugly ass, there's a real fuck off cool one which caught my attention. It is totally ludicrous and for that reason I think it's the business. Here's what it is ...

Some bozo - smart but maybe not that financially acute - created a Web site (loosely speaking) and he's asking for $30,000, except that he's not asking for 30,000 donations of one dollar. Instead he's asking for, yep you guessed it, just one lump sum of 30,000 dollars. I mean, why would you ask for anything else? That is fucking cool. So if you've 30 big ones to spare, and you can't quite think what to blow it on, click here and make someone's day. I recommend reading his reply page. Great stuff.

This really inspired me, and I set to thinking about another angle on it. And this is what I came up with ...

I've decided to ask for a cool fat million dollars, in one lump sum. I figure there has to be a major-awesome benefactor out there who's just itching to part with a million bucks for no apparent reason. And I'm giving them the opportunity to dispose of the troublesome burden they're carrying and unload it onto me. It's an act of pure unadulterated kindness, I'm sure you'll agree. I shall be their good samaritan and free them from their misery.

And it's not like I'm going to use the money to bad effect, like wasting it on shit. I'm going to be intensely boring and set up a biz - potential global corporation no less. I've wanted to start my own global corporation for ages but I've got zippo assets to secure it against, which means I'm buggered in financial speak.

So that's the deal. One million bucks. What's the chance of that happening ?!!! I bet it'd wipe the smile off Karyn Bosnak's face for good. It'd be worth sending me a million bucks just to see that, right?

So there you have it. That's my story. My plea for help. Is there a Messiah out there, or am I destined to wallow in the shit for eternity?

Okay then, enough of this drivel. It's PayPal time. This is the bit where you get to send some digital greens to me.

I've taken the liberty of adding two buttons to the page. The first, and undoubtedly the foremost, is THE Million Dollar Button. Click only if (a) you are my mysterious benefactor with a million dollars to spare, or (b) you want to give your bank manager a heart attack. Since you may actually want to give your bank manager a heart attack, I hereby declare my complete absolution from any plan you may be formulating in your mind at this precise moment.

The second button is just in case one of the not-quite-so-affluent mortals reading this page suddenly feels the urge to unload part of their wallet somewhere. I wouldn't wish to deprive you of the experience. Not that you will, 'cos everyone wants something for nothing, right?! There, see, I've proved it. I rest my case.


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