And then there was Dean to worry about.

Dean, sweet and loyal, charming and romantic, Dean. He had always been there for her, even if she didn’t always ask for his support. He had declared his love for her, more than once. And one time in a very public place, Luke looked like he wanted to strangle him that time. She had those words of endearment back to him, and she had meant them.

But what about now? I she were to tell Dean that she loved him now, would she mean it?

The answer that came immediately to her scared her. No. She wouldn’t mean it. The words would be empty, lacking passion and truth. I love you.” It would be nothing more than three words put together to form a sentence. A mere grammatical lesson. Nothing more.

Where had the love gone? What had happened, or who had happened, to their blissful relationship? Where did she go from here? What did she tell Dean, and how?

“Tristan?” There was such pain in her voice the Tristan wanted to pull her into a warm embrace.

“I’m still here.” The silence had gone on so long that he knew what was going on with her mind. Rory, always the cautious one, was trying to do damage control, figuring how to salvage her relationship with Dean, and with him.

“I think I had better end this conversation.”

“Ok.” His voice betrayed none of his feelings. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

***

The connection terminated with a single click. Tristan placed the receiver back in its cradle. The light he had turned on when the ringing phone first awoke him cast a dim glow over his room, almost dreamlike. Once again Rory had sent his whole world into a diving tail-spin. Before it was with actions that she never meant, and tonight with words that she was no doubt regretting.

He clicked the light off and scrunched down deeper into the covers and tried to tell himself that he would find sleep again before the sun rose. It was a pitiful fight. He should have known that sleep would evade him for the rest of the night. So when the morning sunrise began to creep across his floor he gave up and simply got out of bed.

The orange rays streamed through his open windows casting his bare skin in a bronze hue, and sending warmth through his chilled body. Tristan paced back and forth his mind analyzing every moment he had ever spent with her. None of her previous actions had even hinted to their relationship culminating as it had that night.

The night when he thought he was on cloud nine. He had finally done something with her that he had only dreamed about. And then, he realized how wrong he was. And for the first time ever, he thought of someone else’s feelings and reputation before his. Breaking away from her physically had been painful, but the past few days had an agonizing toll on his emotional state.

This no-man’s land of unexplored territory. The simple reality that for once in his life he did not know the outcome of a relationship. Tristan wanted to be with her more than anything. He had never felt so strongly about a person before. His heart ached with every moment.

The moment Rory had said she didn’t regret what had happened between them opened so many doors. It also made the pain of the situation even deeper. Now Tristan wondered if she wanted to venture into a relationship with him, and no just him chasing after her.

Seeing her in later at Chilton would tell him everything. Rory never had been any good with a poker face. She wore her emotions on her sleeve and Tristan was an expert at reading people, even if he never showed it.

***

Rory had deftly avoided any contact with Tristan that morning. Each time she saw him in the hall she ducked her head, or found another route to her class. She didn’t want to face him. Not yet. Not when things were so jumbled in her mind. There were a million ways to deal with her current situation, and she had yet to find that single one that would lead to an outcome that would settle well with her conscience.

Rory had only been able to sort out three facts of which she was certain. She did not want to hurt Dean in any way. However, she no longer felt as if they belonged together. But perhaps the worst fact of all, was that, she did not regret what had happened between her and Tristan. In fact she reveled in the memory of the whole sordid affair.

Rory could now clearly recall all her actions of that night. They had slowly come back to her over the past week, revealing themselves to her with certain memory triggers. A certain look Tristan passed her way, or a word he said, or just the simple brush of his hand as he picked up the pencil she had dropped. Each moment sent her reeling back to that night.

***

Rory was standing in front of her locker at the end of the day when his voice surprised her. She felt her body tense up with his simple hello. Rory sucked a deep breath into her lungs and tried to act as if nothing was going on between them. She slowly shut her locker door, leaning on it slightly to her the comforting click of the lock.

“Tristan.” Rory had meant her voice to come out as a simple hello, but she had failed miserable. Tristan read right through her.

“There’s no sense in avoiding me.” He smiled back at her. Normally it would have been that cocky and arrogant smirk that made Rory want to smack him, but not today. Today it was a genuine smile, almost nervous like.

“I’m not avoiding you.” Rory shrugged her shoulders and turned away from him as she walked down the hall.

“Right, just like that last gesture wasn’t a brush off.” He let her walk away for a few more steps before following after her. “Rory, you can’t avoid me forever. We need to talk about this.”

“About what?” She turned around and smiled at him before taking off again.

“Rory don’t do this.” He chased after her. “Don’t run away from your problems.”

“I’m not running away.” She suddenly stopped at stared at him in her defiance. Her breathing was ragged and her emotional wall was beginning to break. But she refused to give in. Once again she turned away from him. But Tristan had grabbed her arm before she could get away and whipped her around to face him.

“Dammit Rory. Stop this. Stop trying to avoid the situation.” Tristan’s tone was harsh, but not angry, he just wanted her to her him. He searched her eyes for any sense of understanding, but Rory refused to look at him. He dropped his head and in a calmer tone tried to reach her. “Stop trying to avoid me.”

“I’m not...” Rory’s words trailed off.

“Rory... you practically sprinted down the hall after I came out of the chem room. I know when I’m being avoided.” He paused and noticed a small smile twitch at the corner of her lips. “You never avoided me before, even when anyone else should have... you never cared enough about me before.”

That last comment made Rory finally look up. That simple sentence held so much truth. He was right, she had never cared before. Even when he had treated her like dirt and she would have liked nothing better than to never see him again, she wouldn’t have gone out of her way to avoid him. She never would have changed her day just to avoid him before, why give him the satisfaction that she knows he existed.

But now....

Rory had gone out of her way to avoid him. She didn’t want to see him, because she didn’t want to get hurt... or hurt him. She cared about him, as much as she hated admitting it, she cared about him.

“Tristan, I have to go...my bus.” She tried to pull out of his grasp, but her efforts held no true urgency to them.

“No you don’t. It doesn’t come for another twenty minutes.” Rory had once again dipped her head, and Tristan gently placed a finger under her chin to raise her eyes to his. But the tears that had suddenly begun streaming down her cheeks stopped any words that would have come out of his mouth. “Oh, Rory.”

He pulled her into a hug, cradling her head in one hand, and slowly rubbing her back with another. She sunk into his embrace and just let the tears flow.

***

Rory had no idea how long she had let Tristan hold her, or who had seen them, but she didn’t really care. She felt so safe in his arms, so wanted, so... loved. The slow and gentle caress of his hand on her back had such a calming effect that she wished to stay like this forever.

Despite the ongoing battle with her emotions Rory felt like she knew what had to be done. As much as she had once loved Dean, those strong feelings were no longer there. It was wrong of her to lead him on, when she would rather think of herself with another man. The one with whom she was currently in an embrace. She was just stringing Dean along when really she needed to sit down with him, and explain everything.

Rory could feel her tears subsiding and a strange sense of calm overwhelmed her. She had a sense of direction now. There was no more out-of-control emotional downpour. Of course, in the back of her mind she new it was only the eye of the hurricane, and there was more trouble to come.

***

“Dean.”

“Rory.” The greetings were not harsh but there was a definite lack of kindness. Dean stood with his hands shoved in his pockets, a slight scowl upon his lips. There was and empty space between the pair, in the emotional sense as well as the physical one.

“Dean, I’m just going to come out and say this.” Rory paused a moment as Dean leaned back against the rail of the gazebo. “I think we should stop seeing each other... in the sense of boyfriend and girlfriend... I still want to be your friend, don’t get me wrong, you’re a great guy, but something changed.... I changed.”

The silence that followed her statement wasn’t exactly awkward, but then again, it wasn’t exactly normal. It was just... there. Dean’s lack of expression gave away none of his feelings. Rory was waiting for an outburst, some show of emotion, but there was none. Instead Dean merely shook his head in understanding.

“So that’s it.” He looked up at her and gave her small smile to show that he wasn’t angry.

“Yeah.” Rory was a bit taken aback by his calm nature. Dean was normally such a passionate person that his lack of emotion almost frightened her.

“Ok.” Dean turned and began to walk away.

“Wait... that’s it? No questions asked? We’re done in the dating department?”

“Yeah. I mean isn’t that what you wanted.”

“Well... yeah... but...” Rory was having trouble verbalizing her thoughts. “You don’t want to know why? You’re just accepting it?”

Dean held their eye contact as he made his way back up the steps. “Rory... in all honesty, I was expecting it. I can’t say I want to break up, but I was expecting it.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” There was a pause as the both took in the situation once again. “But now that you have my interest piqued....”

“Yeah.”

“How did you change... I mean, why have you decided to end things?” Dean took a seat on the bench, and Rory sat next to him.

“About a week ago I went to a party, and for a stupid reason I got drunk, which I vow to never do again... anyways... For some reason, I really don’t know why... I ended up kissing Tristan... and since then things haven’t been the same in my head.” Rory looked at the ground as she spoke, afraid that every word was causing a small tear in Dean’s heart.

“Something clicked didn’t it... between you and him.”

“Yeah, I guess it did.” Rory laughed at her own stupidity. How could she have missed that connection. “Please don’t hate me for this.” Rory looked pleadingly into his eyes.

“I could never hate you. I may hate the accountant, but if you think that there is something good in him, then there must be. I mean you did pick me.” Dean winked at her, and she smiled in return.

“So we’re friends?” She asked timidly.

“If that’s what you want.” He stood and she followed suit.

“I do.”

“Good, because I wouldn’t let you go *that* easily.” Rory laughed. “Come here.”

Dean opened his arms and Rory stepped into his hug. He held onto her tightly and whispered into her ear, “Thank you for our time together.”

“Same to you.” She replied.

They pulled away from each other, each smiling before heading their separate ways.

***

Rory was standing in front of Tristan’s door recounting last night. She had sat Lorelai down at the table and told her of her and Dean’s breakup. Her mother had merely sat there and stared at her with a look of sheer disbelief on her face. Her mother had known of Rory’s “encounter” with Tristan, but Rory doubted that it would ever lead to a break-up between “the perfect couple.” And she sure as hell never thought it was Rory who would be doing the splitting.

Rory however was thankful that her mother had taken it so calmly. In fact she was quite pleased that the whole experience went a lot smoother than she ever thought possible. Rory thought because of that fact she would feel extremely guilty about the whole thing, but instead she felt like a burden had been lifted off her shoulders. She was now free to think things over without having to worry about the effects it would have on Dean.

So here she stood in front of Tristan’s house waiting for someone to answer the door. The two of them had put their project on hold for a while and now it was time to get to work. Rory was surprised that she had let her emotional life get in the way of her schoolwork. But now that was done and over with and she could push emotions aside and focus on her school work. The door finally opened and Tristan’s father greeted her.

“Well if it isn’t the beautiful Rory Gilmore that my son is always talking about.” Rory blushed slightly as Patrick DuGrey gestured for Rory to enter.

“I’m sure he doesn’t talk about me all that often.”

“You’d be surprised.” Rory stood in stunned silence for a moment, for some reason she knew that Mr. DuGrey was being completely honest with her. An awkward silence followed his statement before Patrick finally let Rory off the hook. “Tristan’s up in his room.”

Rory thanked him with a nod of her head before heading up the stairs. It wasn’t until Rory was at the top of the stairs that she realized she had no idea where to find Tristan’s room. Rory looked down the hallway. To her it was a bad scene out of a movie, tons of doors, any one of which could be Tristan’s. Rory crept down the carpeted hallway praying that Tristan would step out at any moment. Well that didn’t happen but the music blaring from the room with the “If you don’t like the news, go out and make some” bumper sticker was a dead give away.

Rory was about to knock when the door flew open in front of her. All her thoughts about focusing on school work flew out the door when she realized that Tristan was shirtless. He was talking on the phone and tossing a couple books onto his bed as Rory stood motionless outside his door. He motioned for her to come in, but Rory was rooted to her spot.

Tristan paced the room. His tanned and toned muscles flexing ever so slightly as he moved. Rory’s was mesmerized by the way that he moved. His body moved with such grace and elegance that Rory thought he had to have practiced the moves. The necklace that was his fashion staple sat perfectly at the base of his neck. Tristan rolled his shoulders as he switched the phone from one ear to the other and Rory felt her knees go weak as she say his whole back move.

Tristan clicked off his phone, and that too was tossed on the bed. He turned towards Rory and tipped his head as he took in her glazed over eyes. She was staring at him, yet she didn’t seem to even be on the plant earth. He took a few steps towards her and gently laid his hand on her shoulder. There was no change in her stance or stare.

“Rory… are you ok?” No response. Tristan shook her slightly to see if he could break the trance that she seemed to be in. “Rory… Rory… earth to Rory?”

Suddenly Rory jumped away from him and shook herself back into reality.

“Oh hey.” Rory’s tone was breathy as she tried to make light of the situation in which she found herself.

“It’s nice to see that your brain decided to join your body. What happened?”

“Umm… I don’t know.” Tristan knew that statement was a flat out lie because as she spoke Rory sent her eyes scanning up Tristan’s well-defined chest. He looked down and realized that he was lacking clothing on the top half of his body.

“Oh, I see.” Tristan backed up to the bed and threw on the first shirt he found. “Let’s get to work.”

“Yeah work.” Rory followed Tristan into his room with the intention of working, but knowing that it would be the last thing on her mind. Neither of them had missed the fact that the shirt Tristan threw on was the one he had been wearing at the party.

***

Time seemed to be taunting Rory. She had told Tristan that she could only stay until 8, but the minute hand seemed to be teasing her. As if to say, 'I know you're uncomfortable, so I'm going to make this moment go ever so-slowly for you.' Rory couldn't help but check her watch every second she could.

She was laying on his bed with a pad of paper in front of her. Tristan was leaning up against the headboard with his laptop finding information on the internet. His hip was a few mere inches from her eyes. Rory's task was to sketch out layout plans for their power point, but her job was proving much more problematic than it should be.

It wasn't that working on the project itself was difficult, in fact that was going quite well. The pain came from the constant glances she sent to Tristan, she almost looked it him as often as she looked at her watch. And that damn shirt kept staring her in the face. The blue hue sending her mind drifting away from her work and back to that night.

The night that changed the direction in which she had been headed. The night when his soft lips had descended upon hers. His hands had gently carressed her skin. Just the thought of his touch sent shivers down her back and caused a sudden warmth to over take her.

Rory knew her face was flushed and when Tristan caught her staring at him she knew it must have reddened even more. Rory quickly averted her eyes from his gaze and went back to sketching layouts for their power point slides.

"Rory are you alright?" Tristan asked, laying a hand on her shoulder as he did so.

"Yeah... I'm fine... I just can't seem to get this to come out right."

"It'll work better when we actually get on the computer. It'll be easier to see the layout and edit the objects." He played along with her lie just hoping that she would ease into a 'normal' conversation with him.

Tristan knew, however, that it wasn't the layout that was bothering her. He knew her problems very well, because he was having the same difficulties. It was hard for him to not look at her face and realize that she had once stripped him of the shirt that he was wearing. That her hands had roamed his body and craved his attention. Rory had actually wanted him... and she claimed that she did not regret her actions.

What he wouldn't give to feel her touch again. To have her skin touch his and set his heart on fire. There was a burning desire in him to toss his work aside and just capture her lips in one swift movement. His fingers twitched to touch her soft skin and his eyes screamed to look at her every movement.

Rory dropped her pencil and collapsed in a heap over her work. Tristan was startled by her actions and nearly fell off the bed. He closed the laptop and set it on his bedside table.

"What is it Rory? You can't be that big of a perfectionist that even the draft work is bothering you." His words were met with a grunt that turned into a gently purr as he slid down beside her and began to massage the back of her neck with his hand, his other hand propping himself up on his elbow.

Tristan’s fingers worked in gentle circles, slowly kneading the tension out of her neck. Rory reveled in the warm and smooth touch of his hand. The rythmic motions of his fingers calmed her beating heart and she slowly shifted closer to him, waiting the calm sensation to overtake her whole mind.

Tristan responded in turn by slowly placing lowering his hand to her lower back. He lifted her shirt up just a little and slowly massaged the tense muscle. Her soft skin began to warm with his touch and he fought to not pull her into an embrace. He lost. Rory turned on her side to face him, and instinctively his arm wrapped around her back and pulled her close. Their eyes made contact and Tristan felt his heart jump.

The hand that had been propping up his head slowly moved a lock of stray hair behind Rory’s ear. Tristan’s hand cupped her cheek and Rory leaned into his touch. She closed her eyes as she felt his thumb rub over her lips. Tristan leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He backed away and waited for Rory’s response.

Her startling blue eyes slowly opened and took in Tristan’s face. Her mindset had jumped back to the night of the party, except this time she knew that she was in control of her every action. Tristan leaned forward again, and this time he kissed her eyelids one at a time. She flickered her lashes against his lips. Tristan pulled away slightly and then placed a sweet kiss on her slightly parted lips.

Rory’s hand flattened on Tristan’s chest and she slowly pushed herself away from him. It was a motion of rejection, but one of caution. She didn’t want to rush into this when her feelings were still so new. Rory slowly eased herself off his bed and grabbed her bag.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said at the door before closing it behind her.

***

Tristan rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Why was it that he could not help himself when he was around her? Every moment she was near him was a struggle to hold back his feelings. Rory had to know how much he adored her by now. After everything that they had been through together, she had to be able to tell how much he cared for her.

“But what if she doesn’t?” The words were spoken so softly that Tristan could scarcely hear them himself. “She has to know.”

In an instant Tristan leaped off of the bed and ran to the door. He was down the hall and onto the stairs, chasing after Rory before she could leave. As he hit the final step he heard a car door close. Tristan slammed the front door open and it crashed into the wall, but he didn’t care.

Rory had to know.

But he was too late. Her car was pulling out of the driveway and onto the road, leaving him standing alone. Tristan cursed to himself. Why hadn’t he moved faster? Why did he wait to decide that she had to know his feelings? Why?

***

Rory stood at her locker the next day with her mind in a daze. She could still feel the soft touch of Tristan’s lips on her face. A slight blush crept across her face when she thought about the way he had been so gentle and caring. Tristan had not even protested when she pulled away. He was so different from when she had first met him.

He had changed. That much was easy to see. It was the cause of the change that was difficult. Then again, she had changed too, and unlike Tristan she could pinpoint the exact moment it had happened.

The night of the party.

What a fool she had been to think that she could still be the same after that evening. Nothing was the same any more. Not her life, and certainly not her feelings. She had changed, and yet she did not find a problem with the new path her life had taken. Sure there were some regrets… causing Dean pain was one of them. But all in all she was happy.

She was utterly… dare she say the happiest she had been in a long time.

Rory smiled when she thought of the way Tristan had looked at her as they researched. He had tried to make it not so obvious that he was looking at her, but he had failed. She caught him looking at her and it made her happy that he did. A tingle ran through her body every time he had sent a glance her way.

But why was he looking at her?

Rory had an idea that he may have liked her, but she had never seriously considered it. But then again, why else would he kiss her like he did? Before that certain night she would have thought he was being his normal, playboy, self. But now that idea went right out the window.

Perhaps he liked her.

Rory chuckled at herself. How was the possible? Tristan was a devastatingly handsome man. She was a simply small town girl. People had told her she was beautiful, but Rory thought that she was nothing compared to the beauty queens Tristan usually associated with.

But there was something new in his persona that made her think that Tristan was actually looking for beauty on the inside, instead of beauty on the outside. He had not crushed a girl against her locker in almost a month… the longest he had gone before was a day or to. And even then it seemed as if he was looking to gain her attention.

And for the first time ever, Rory actually wanted Tristan to notice her. She wanted him near to her. Her mind turned to the project they had to work on, and now she actually wanted to go thank the teacher for pairing them up. Her new attitude was exciting. Rory Gilmore actually wished to be in the presence of Tristan “Bible-Boy” DuGray.

She wanted to talk with him. She wanted to spend time with him… away from school even. Rory actually came to the conclusion that she was falling for Tristan. A small smile spread across lips.

***

Tristan was sauntering down the hall but at a faster pace than normal. Today he was on a mission. Rory was in his sights and today she was not getting away. He had to tell her his feelings before she went off on one of her analytical crazes and mistook something he said or did.

Tristan saw the smile spread across her lips, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself as well. When ever she had that look upon her face he knew that she was happy and he drove himself crazy trying to figure out why she was happy?

He traveled the final steps to her side and casually leaned up against the locker next to hers. Leaning into her ear he whispered words that sent a shiver down her spine. “Pray tell what you are thinking about that makes you smile so.”

Rory turned to face him and the smile broadened, brightening up her whole face. “Why do you want to know?”

“Well if I have anything to do with it, I would like to do it more often, so that you always smile like that.”

“What makes you think you have anything to do with my happiness?” The words that would normally be harsh to his ears came out in a teasing tone that set his heart on fire.

“Well a man can wish can’t he?” Tristan brushed his finger along her cheek.

“He certainly can.” Rory bit her bottom lip. “And if he wishes hard enough someday his dream might come true.”

“How I wish it would.” A sad look flickered in his eyes, but it was there for the briefest moment. He took his hand away from her face and looked at the ground

“You think that your wish won’t come true?”

“I think that I may be reaching for something that’s too far out of my reach.” Tristan looked back up at her.

“What would that be?” Rory grabbed his hand and held it softly in hers.

It was now or never for him. He had to tell her, he would never get a chance like this again. He’s mind told him to tell her, that this time she would understand, but it was still a struggle for him to get the words out of his mouth.

“Tristan… what is it that you want?” Rory smiled at him reassuringly.

“You.” The word came out in a whisper but it was loud enough to still Rory’s heart for a beat.

“You… you… you want…” Rory was stuttering now. She thought that Tristan may like her, but to hear his actual feelings was much more moving.

“I want you Rory. I want to be with you all the time. When I’m away from you time seems to stand still. My day doesn’t begin till I see you. I love seeing you and I love being around you. I want to spend more time with you. I’ve wanted to be with you the moment I first saw you that day in class.”

“Tristan… I …”

“I understand if you don’t feel the same way, but I’ll give you time to digest this before you say anything. I’ll understand if you don’t feel the same way, but I do want to be your friend at least. I have to get to class, but please think about it, at least the friend offer if nothing else.”

Tristan turned to walk away. He got a mere few steps down the hall before Rory grabbed his hand. He turned around and faced her. All she did was smile in return.

END