| SCENE FOUR (Trailer) Announcer. After wandering through the forest all night long singing Koko Taylor songs, Snow White’s little animal friends lead her to a small trailer that only the Sly Fox knew was hidden deep in the woods. (Lights go on in the interior of the trailer. The place is a mess. Trailer scenery will be the main set. Snow White enters.) Snow. Hello! Hello! Is anyone home? Is it all right if I come in? There doesn’t seem to be anyone here…what an unusual place. I’ve never seen anything like this before. (She walks around looking and reacting to the ugly décor. She bends over and picks up a pocket protector.) There are pocket protectors everywhere…how strange. Well, maybe they manufacture them. I mean, somebody’s got to do it! (She finds all sorts of strange old style clothes that she tries on bit by bit.) Wow, look at this stuff! I didn’t think they made clothes like this anymore. (She tries on some seventies disco clothes and dances like John Travolta.) OO, OO, OO, OO, Staying Alive! Staying Alive! (Hacker enters with Geeky and Pranky. Snow White has her back to them and Hacker mistakes her for his friend Groovy.) Hacker. Hi Groovy. Snow. AAAHHH! (Throwing whatever is in her hands into the air, possibly pocket protectors.) Hacker. What’s wrong, Groovy? You seem awfully jumpy today. Wait a minute…you’re not Groovy! Who are you and what are you doing in Groovy’s clothes? Snow. My name is Snow White. I was lost in the woods and some kind forest animals led me here. Hacker. You must really be lost to be this deep in the woods. That’s OK, we understand, don’t we? Let me introduce myself, Snow White. My name is Hacker, and that’s my computer over there. (Points to a gigantic computer on a table. It’s like a shrine.) And I’d like to introduce you to my friend, Geeky. Geeky, this appears to be our new houseguest, Snow White. Geeky. Pleased to meet you. (Offers hand after wiping nose. Snow White shakes one finger, not wanting to be impolite, but cringing anyway.) You’re the only person I know that dresses like our friend Groovy. Snow. Yes, I’ve heard. I’m anxious to meet this person. But first, please tell me about yourself Geeky. Geeky. I am an inventor. I’ve invented all sorts of fantastic, useful items. I haven’t sold any yet, but I’m sure they’re going to catch on. Snow White. Really! An inventor! What sort of things have you invented? Please tell me. Geeky. (Shy) Awww, they’re just little inventions. (Looks down.) You’re not really interested…(looks up hopefully) Are you? Hacker. Don’t be so modest, Geeky! She’s a genius! I tell you, no one else would ever come up with the ideas Geeky has. Tell her about your electric dog washer. It was fantastic! You should have seen that thing go! Snow. Oh, you have a dog? Geeky. (Guilty expression.) Well… Pranky. Well, not any more! Geeky. (Looking up towards heaven, makes sign of the cross.) Sorry Skippy! (Snow White is horrified) Hacker. Snow White this is another of our roommates, Pranky. He’s a bit of a practical joker, but you’ll enjoy him. Snow White. How do you do, Pranky? (They shake hands and Pranky’s fake arm falls off.) Ahh!! Pranky. Got you! Here, why don’t you sit down, Snow White? (Leads Snow White to a chair.) Geeky. (Sing song) I wouldn’t sit there if I were you. (Snow White avoids the chair and sits on the couch. Pranky looks disappointed.) Hacker. Why don’t you make yourself at home while I go see if there’s anything new on the Internet? You know, I get really bored with the same old stuff. Snow. He gets bored with the Internet? Geeky. Yes, he’s practically got the whole thing memorized. (Groovy, Whiny, and Shiny enter.) Geeky. Here are the rest of our roommates. (Snow White stands to greet them) Snow White, this is Groovy. Groovy. Heeeey, nice clothes! I wish you had stopped by earlier, we just got back from a Village People concert. You could have come with us. Shiny. Yeah, it was great! Whiny. I don’t know, I thought they dressed funny. Groovy. Don’t listen to him, he hates everything. They were fantastic! I just love that construction worker! (Sings Macho Man) Geeky. Snow White, this is our friend Shiny. She’s always happy. Shiny. Hello, it’s so nice to meet you. Geeky. And this is Whiny. He doesn’t like anything. Whiny. What are you doing here? No one told me we were going to have company. Geeky. No one knew, Whiny. Whiny. That’s no excuse! Shiny. So tell us, what brings you here, way out in the forest? Whiny. Yeah, what are you doing here? Snow White. I’ll tell you. I’m in trouble. I’ve run away from the castle because my stepmother, the evil Queen, is trying to have me killed. I’d been running all night when I saw your trailer. I knocked but no one was home. I came in only because I was cold and hungry and didn’t know what else to do. Geeky. Don’t worry, Snow White. You came to the right place. We’ll take are of you. (Hugs Snow White) Hacker. Yes, we will. |