Chapter Nineteen: Soldier’s Price “And then he says, ‘I don’t care how long you’ve been stinkin’ up this place for! I can still decapitate ya from a league away, so give me my three feet of personal space, dammit!’” “Sick,” Vulcan said with a weak laugh, staring up at Rykov, who stood to the left of his hospital bed. “What’d the prick do then?” “Tried to look cool, of course,” said Krysta, who sat in the chair at the right of the bed. “Nightchaser always has to look cool, though I don’t think it ever works. I forget his exact words, but he just kept following Scythe around grumbling things like ‘Think you can take me? Come on, then! It shouldn’t be that hard. You’re the Winner Of The Weapons Match, after all! Or are you afraid to have a real duel, like a real man?’” “Now you know Scythe,” Rykov said with a snicker. “He can tune out anything that he doesn’t want to hear. But this time was different, for whatever reason. Dunno…maybe he fell outta bed, or somethin’. Nightchaser just kept yapping and yapping and was still within the three feet of personal space Scythe had just demanded, and from where I was standing I could see the little guy’s face getting darker and darker until finally it looked like he was gonna go stark raving Maverick, right there on the spot.” “Jeez,” Vulcan breathed, “Chase musta really pissed him off. This isn’t like Scythe at all…” “Oh, you should have seen it!” Krysta laughed. “But wait, wait, it’s not over.” “Yeah, like I was SAYING,” Rykov began again with mock annoyance, “We were all in the office row, so there were a bunch of cubicles about, yeah? Well Nightchaser said something really bad, and Scythe still won’t tell what it was. So our little golden friend grabs a cup of coffee from some human’s desk and snaps his arm back towards Chase.” Rykov flailed his fingers in front of his face to imitate a splash. “You know how hot the HQ serves its coffee; scalding as the brimstone of hell. And it all went into Nightchaser’s face.” “Ohhhh my God….” Vulcan rested his head back on his pillow, giving up his attempts at sitting up, and briefly surrendered to a fit of weak laughter. He stopped when it broke into a racking cough, and concentrated on getting a hold on himself. “Scythe did this? The same Scythe I know?” “Yeah, we didn’t believe it either,” Rykov nodded, still laughing at the memories. “And what did Chase do?” Vulcan pressed. “Oh, let me, let me!” Krysta jumped to her feet and got in front of Vulcan’s bed so he couldn’t miss it. “I won’t imitate the screaming, since I’d probably give everyone in the infirmary a heart attack, and that looks bad on your resume, so… But when he did recover enough to talk, he looks at Scythe, who’s already starting to stalk away, and he’s like…” She stopped and hunched herself over, pointing a shaking finger out towards Vulcan as if he were Scythe and she were Chase. She twisted her face into as horrific a mask of pain and hatred as she could without actually being in either state, and said in a raspy voice “’You’ll…pay…for…THAT!’” Rykov was in hysterics. “That’s it! That’s exactly it!” Vulcan laughed hard, easily picturing Nightchaser in such a pose. It hurt to laugh, but he didn’t care for now. Unfortunately he fell into a bit of a laughing fit, being unable to cleanse his mind of the thoughts, and when his laughs became laced with pain Krysta finally planted a firm hand on his chest to stop him. “Whoa man!” Rykov chuckled. “Don’t die. We’ll get blamed.” “Aw, hell…” Vulcan said, snickering still. “It’d be a great way to go.” He stretched his aching limbs as far as the bed would allow. “I miss all the good stuff.” “Well,” Krysta said with a “That’s life” expression, “Now you know how I felt.” “Hey, that’s not entirely fair,” Rykov pointed out in as rational a tone of voice as he could utter. “How so?” the female queried. “You see,” Professor Rykov explained, “Vulcan here was eviscerated many times over by a Maverick. You were merely shredded by shrapnel.” “Oh yeah, MUCH better!” Krysta stopped and stared for a few seconds down at Vulcan. After a while Vulcan grew uneasy, and when he was about to ask what she was staring at she finally spoke, chuckling all the while. “Vulcan got beat up by a girl.” “Hah!” Rykov laughed. “That’s right! It WAS a girl that nailed you, wasn’t it?” “You guys suck!” Vulcan tried to sound angry, but he too was laughing again. “It’s not like I had a chance, all right? She came out of nowhere!” “Excuses, excuses, excuses.” Krysta grinned and ruffled her friend’s hair. “But that’s okay. We’ll still be your friends, even if you are a wuss.” “Aw, gee, thanks.” Vulcan smiled and shook his head. “You sound like Nightchaser now.” “On second thought,” Rykov said with feigned disgust as he drew away from the bed, “maybe we WON’T be your friends, after that comment.” “Okay, I concede. That one was out of line.” Krysta grinned and was about to say something else, but instead she went slack jawed for a few seconds. Then she snapped to attention, followed by Rykov. Vulcan craned his neck around, trying to see what they were looking at, but he had no luck. Soon enough, though, his problem solved itself. Rykov and Krysta both stepped back to allow Commander X room to pass or talk to Vulcan, who he seemed to be headed towards. The azure Reploid seemed very uncomfortable with the formality of his underlings’ salutes. “At ease, please.” “Is there something we can help you with, Commander?” Rykov said, fumbling a bit over his words. He didn’t feel at ease at all. X might not be the most intimidating Reploid in the world, but he’d done enough in his life to be an imposing presence, at the very least. “No, it’s okay,” X replied with an easy smile. “I uh, actually wanted to talk to Vulcan alone for a while, if you don’t mind…?” “Oh, well, er, sure!” Krysta, too, was a bit awkward around the Great X. She looked at Vulcan, eyes wide with confusion. “See you later, then.” “Bye,” Vulcan replied as the two found their way out of the infirmary, leaving him alone with X. The silver Hunter tried to sit up a little in his hospital bed. He as well had great respect for this Reploid, and wanted to at least try to show it. X frowned slightly, not expecting nor wanting the gesture, but knowing Vulcan wouldn’t let himself lay back down even if ordered to. Vulcan had never actually talked one on one with X. They’d exchanged some words during the train battle, but they were mostly orders and confirmations of those orders. X was soft-spoken and generally pretty mild mannered and friendly, but Vulcan still felt awkward around him, probably because it wasn’t really protocol to talk to commanders like they were your equals. “Is there something I can do for you, sir?” Vulcan finally asked. “Oh, no,” X replied quickly, motioning to the machines Vulcan was hooked up to. “I don’t think you’ll be able to do anything for a while.” “Yeah, well…” Vulcan smiled, both weakly and nervously. “Can’t help that, can I?” “No,” X agreed, “I guess not. But still, I guess that’s why I’m here.” “Sir?” Now it was X’s turn to look uneasy. “I’d like to thank you.” “For what?” Vulcan asked, quite confused now. “Well, among other things, for doing your best against that female Maverick. But mostly, for saving the lives of Feldspar and myself.” “Saving your…?” Vulcan’s eyes flashed briefly with understanding. “Oh, no, sir I was just doing my job!” “Yeah, and in the process you bought me the time I needed to recover from that electricity attack. You stopped that woman from taking out Feldspar, and you took her ambush attack for me.” “Well, uh…” Vulcan stammered, not feeling it would be right to take any credit for anything. “I didn’t really take it for anyone, sir. I just kinda jumped.” “True,” X nodded, “but still, she was laying in wait for me. How do I know? You looked awfully blue in the moonlight when you leapt over that gap to the engine car, Vulcan. Also, you probably didn’t see that woman’s face when she saw who she’d sliced. She was very disappointed that you weren’t me. So, inadvertently or not…” X extended a hand to Vulcan, who took it warily. “You saved my life, and I thank you.” “Uh…thanks—I mean, you’re welcome, er…” Vulcan felt his face heating up. X laughed. “Yeah, I figured you’d be humble again. You think I’m bad? Wait till Feldspar sees you again. All he’s been saying to Zero is how grateful he was that you were still on that train.” “Oh, boy…” Vulcan almost rested his head back on the pillow in a daze, but he caught himself beforehand. “All I did was what I was supposed to do. It was nothing special…” “Seems that way, doesn’t it?” X crossed his arms over his chest and his eyes flickered briefly with some memory. “About two decades ago, I wandered around a war torn Megacity 5 and killed eight Maverick generals serving the new Maverick King, Sigma. I couldn’t figure out why everyone was so happy and pleased with me whenever I came back from a successful mission. I mean, it was just my job, right?” “Er, I think I see what you mean.” “Yeah. So, it is just your job, but when you do your job well, people notice.” He grinned. “Already you’ve got two Maverick Hunters who owe you big. Not bad for a fairly new guy.” “I suppose so,” Vulcan agreed, and added with a little grin of his own, “Especially when you throw in that everyone thinks I killed Sigma.” “Heh, yeah, that too. But still you insist that you didn’t…you don’t have to be humble forever, you know.” “I know, but I also can’t take credit for something I didn’t do.” Vulcan raised an eyebrow. “You don’t believe me?” “Nah, I do, I do…” X shook his head slowly. “It just makes things complicated, is all.” “Sir?” “Well, it’s easy to just say that you, a Hunter, killed Sigma. You were the only one of us with a clear shot at any time, and it would only make sense that you were the one who pulled the trigger. But if you didn’t do it, well…someone else did, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out who did it.” “Maybe it was one of their own number,” Vulcan suggested. “Someone who didn’t like the way Sigma was running things?” X nodded. “That’s very possible. Sigma’s led his men through four failed wars, and it may well be that the Mavericks have finally lost faith in him. And, to back up that theory, whoever’s in charge of the Mavericks now have things a lot better organized than Sigma did the last few times.” “What about that bear?” “Grizzly Slash? We haven’t ruled him out, either. Whatever he was meeting Sigma over, it didn’t thrill him. Maybe Sigma found out that Grizzly had talked to us about Seraph Castle…oh well. We can’t find the guy to interrogate him. What’s more, I guess it doesn’t really matter, does it?” “Yeah,” Vulcan agreed. “So long as Sigma’s dead, it don’t matter who it was that killed him.” “So, it’s better to focus on other things…” X frowned and at length motioned again to the machinery surrounding the recuperating Hunter. “Did they tell you how long you’d be in here?” “Uh, yeah,” Vulcan answered, pulling the information from his memory banks. “It’ll take all next week for the nanobots to heal most of me, and then I’ll be released. I can’t fight or train, however, for another week after.” “Hmm…” X seemed to be toying with an idea in his head. “Well I guess that’s good.” “…Sir?” “Oh, it’s nothing. Just something Zero said.” “Zero?” Vulcan suddenly felt nervous again. “Yeah. He’s pretty impressed with you, too.” And there it was, Vulcan’s chief fear. “I uh…didn’t know that, sir.” “Well, you don’t sound too enthused about it. Something wrong?” “No, uh, not really.” Vulcan wasn’t sure if he should speak so freely just yet. “Go on, tell me. If it’s something you think your commanders need to know, tell us when you have the chance.” “Well…” Vulcan took a few seconds to decide that he’d actually speak his worries, and then took even longer to organize his thoughts into words. “It’s just that…you say that you and Zero and everyone think I’m doing really good. Maybe I am, for someone with my experience, but that’s the most of it. My experience is limited to two missions. The first one I didn’t do a thing except snipe a Maverick guard. The second, I followed my instincts and dodged rifle fire, engaged in a swordfight that didn’t last more than a minute, and wound up getting cut up. The point is, I really don’t think I’m even half as good as what you seem to be suggesting, and that kinda scares me, cause…” “Cause you’re afraid we’ll expect you to do great things, when you haven’t really done anything you consider to be huge and noteworthy in the first place?” “Well…yeah, exactly. You’ll trust me to do something I won’t be able to do.” X frowned and rubbed his temple, considering his response for a while. “I understand your concern. You’ve been thrown into a lot that most other rookies never have to face. But you’re hardly a rookie anymore because of it, you know. I guess, in normal circumstances, you wouldn’t be asked to take such chances, and would get to develop normally, but now…” He stopped and seemed to be debating whether or not he should continue. “Ah hell, it’s no use trying to hide the obvious. Whenever the Mavericks start gaining power, there comes a point when they either launch their major attack or get too powerful to ignore. We’re getting very close to that time. Intelligence still can’t figure out what the Mavericks smuggled on Blackstar 5041, but you can bet they’re up to something big, and they’ve had plenty of time since Seraph Castle was erected to work on whatever they’ve got planned. If at all possible, we’d like to catch them before they launch their major attack. Therefore…soon enough, probably within the coming month, there’s gonna be a war. Hopefully it will be a small one, nothing like the Repliforce revolt. Just an all out offensive on Seraph Castle.” “How come we haven’t done that before? Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to…” “It’s okay. I know how you feel… You see, there are actually a lot of politics involved in launching a war, even against the Mavericks. The government has to give permission for the Hunters to lead the whole of their reserves against the enemy, and we generally need the help of the Megacity Army in addition to our own forces. Humans don’t want the Mavericks around any more than we do, but for whatever reason they’re extremely fearful of taking care of their problems, and won’t act unless there’s a credible threat staring them in the eye. So, that’s why we haven’t tried attacking Seraph Castle yet…we don’t have enough evidence to convince the humans that it’s a necessary measure.” “Man, that’s bullshit!” Vulcan blurted, and stopped cold after he said it. “Er, sorry…” X laughed. “It’s extreme bullshit, actually. But, it’s easier to just humor them. It’s their lives on the line, after all.” He coughed uneasily. “But getting back to your worries, when this war begins, we’re gonna need the best of our recruits assuming more of leadership positions to assist their Unit commanders.” “Oh, man…” “Yep. You can bet that you’ll be one of Archer’s sergeants, which really isn’t a bad thing at all.” Vulcan looked at the Hunter champion with a slightly embarrassed look. “I can’t lead troops for crap.” “Me neither,” X answered, surprising the hell out of the silver Reploid. “Sometimes I think people just follow me for my legend.” He grinned. “But hey, whatever works. Anyhow, it wasn’t easy for me, and it isn’t easy for most people, but hey…that’s how you get promoted.” “Yeah but still,” Vulcan persisted, “it sounds easier said than done.” “Everything is, nowadays. It’s the price soldiers pay for getting permission to destroy things. You see yourself in this bed, sliced to ribbons by the enemy? Soldier’s price. Me, I was a die-hard pacifist when I took up my weapons the first time, and my price was a rude awakening and a new outlook on life.” “Can I ask something, sir?” “Shoot.” “…Do you still believe in pacifism now?” X chewed his lower lip. “I don’t like fighting and war, no. I don’t like them, but now I do accept them. If war is the only option other than facing something like Sigma’s tyranny, so be it. It’s regrettable, but…if it’s gotta be done, then it’s gotta be done, you know?” Vulcan nodded. “I think I understand…” X nodded in turn and it was quiet. Then the azure Hunter straightened and smiled slightly. “I guess I’ll let you rest, then. We need you out of here as soon as possible.” “I’ll be ready, sir.” With that X left and Vulcan finally was able to collapse back onto his pillow, his eyes widening. Why did he get all the attention he didn’t want? It would be so much easier to be like Rykov and Krysta…just nameless rookies who went through the motions, same as everyone else. Was this what Harrier had wanted? Vulcan wondered briefly whether or not the late Hunter would still pursue this dream if he were the one laying in a hospital bed here.   Oh well. If something had to be done, then it just had to be done…right? Meanwhile, in the HQ lounge, Vulcan was still the subject of attention. “Hell, man!” Krysta grumped, pretending to be angry. “No grand commander ever came to see ME when I was cooped up in there.” “Vulc’s just passing the rest of us by,” Rykov replied. Krysta sighed and leaned back in the chair she sat in. “Wonder what was said?” “So do I. Though I’m sure that you’ll find out when you visit him in an hour.” Krysta frowned. “And what, praytell, is that supposed to mean?” Rykov laughed evilly. “Come on now, lass. You’ve been in and out of the infirmary to see him every day. I wonder if Nightchaser wasn’t on to something…” She gasped and punched him in the shoulder. “How dare you? First agreeing with that rabble-rouser, and then insinuating that I would ever flirt with someone? Ridiculous!” To punctuate, she batted her eyelashes at a handsome human Hunter standing near the door. He blushed and promptly made an exit. Rykov laughed and stretched. “Come on. You mean you don’t even like him a little bit? Come on already, I need my fix of gossip for the week!” “Well you won’t be getting it from me!” She stuck her tongue out at him. “He’s my pal, nothing else. He visited me all the time, at least more than YOU did, you big laggard.” Rykov feigned a hurt expression. “So, you see, I’m just paying him back now, rather than having to do it later.” “I see,” Rykov replied, smiling. Though this means you’re not attracted to anyone, which makes you a natural oddity. Most females here attach themselves to the first good looking guy they see, regardless of IQ.” “Well you’re not so ugly yourself,” Krysta said with a playful grin, and then broke into smothered laughter. “Touché,” Rykov conceded, reddening a little. “I haven’t been speechless in a long time, and damn you, you did it…” “Mwa ha ha.” She raised her eyes before continuing, acknowledging a new presence. “Is this seat taken?” asked a slight, golden Reploid. “Hell no!” Rykov boomed, getting to his feet and slapping Scythe on the back. “I’ll goddamned wait on you if you want! You earned it!” “Thanks but no thanks,” Scythe said warily, sitting down. “I was hoping you’d be the quiet ones.” “Fat chance of that!” Krysta laughed. “What’s wrong? Tired of the attention? You should have known that assaulting Nightchaser would make you a lot of friends.” “Pity,” the introvert replied. “I’m more worried about Nightchaser’s so called friends. The last thing I need is for them to teepee my barracks or something, and I think they might do it, especially if people keep congratulating me.” “HEY!” a new voice called out. “Where you been, boy? I owe you a drink!” “You see what I mean?” Scythe replied with a weak laugh, yet in real humor, and got to his feet to shake Alec Tremont’s hand. “That was great! That was priceless!” Alec pumped Scythe’s hand vigorously, laughing cruelly at the whole mental image. “Scalding hot coffee in the face! I bet the sonovabitch would’ve shit his pants if he were capable of it!” “I wish you’d seen it,” Scythe said with a grin. “You’d have gotten a kick out of it.” “Yeah, Alec,” Rykov put in. “The look on his FACE…” “Oh!” Alec exclaimed, slapping himself upside the head. “Dopey me. Krysta, Rykov, wassup? How’s the third in your posse?” “Vulcan’ll live,” Rykov shrugged. “X is with him now.” “X, eh?” Alec tilted his head. “Maybe he won’t live…but in any case. Scythe, one of these days I promise ya the most expensive beer this place sells! That prick had this coming for YEARS and it couldn’t have been more perfect!” “Sure,” Scythe nodded, “but we’ll have to watch our backs. I’m…going…to…pay…for…this!” Krysta and Rykov all but died at Scythe’s imitation of the furious Nightchaser, which was an even better one than Krysta’s. Alec pulled up a chair and joined the others and from there the subject changed. “So enough about little old me,” Scythe said quickly. “How’ve you been since they released you from the infirmary, Krysta?” “Damn good, thank you.” She stretched and winked. “Now I can get back to doing better than Rykov.” “If you dare come between me and Hawkins while we’re sparring, that is,” the demolitions expert said with a laugh. Suddenly his eyes went wide as he remembered something fairly important. “Alec! Speaking of my Unit, the docs said that Kyre is A-OK, and will be released sometime next week, however long it takes to stabilize his new generator components.” “Hot damn!” Alec slapped his knee. “Don’t that beat all! Glad to hear it, Kyre’s a good guy. Thanks for the heads up!” “Feh,” Krysta chuckled, “he’d have forgotten to tell you if you hadn’t found us first.” “But the point is,” Rykov interjected quickly, “that that’s not how things turned out, and now you know. So there! Great happiness.” “Great happiness indeed,” Alec agreed, “but I wonder for how long?” “You mean, the Rumor?” Scythe’s interest was perking again. “Yep, the good old Rumor.” Alec grinned at Rykov and Krysta, who seemed to be in the dark as to what the great Rumor happened to be. “Come on, it’s not that difficult. But you ARE newbies, after all…” “Oh knock it off, you vulgar little man.” Krysta grinned back and leaned forward. “There’s a jillion rumors floating about this joint, so forgive us if we don’t know all.” “I knew,” Scythe said with an evil grin. “Well you’re just that much better than us,” Rykov said with a faux sneer. “But for those of us who aren’t omniscient, a little clarification would be nice, ya know.” Alec shrugged. “Well if you insist. It’s really pretty obvious, and it’s nothing that secret. Rumor has it that the Hunter bigwigs are finally planning a move on Seraph Castle, the Maverick HQ.” “Whoa!” Krysta exclaimed. “So we’re going after the Maverick Bosses?” “Well, it’s just a rumor,” Scythe said, “but come on. We’re gonna have to make a move on the Maverick base at some point, right?” “Yeah,” Alec nodded, “and with all that stuff they’ve been smuggling, why should we wait for them to make use of it?” “It would make sense,” Rykov agreed slowly. “But then, nothing really does make sense. Don’t they have to get a green light from the Megacity Army?” “Yep,” Alec said with a sigh. “So it’ll be quite a while before anything actually comes of it.” Alec paused for a few seconds and then crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in finality. “But of course, we might not be planning anything at the moment, and since there’s no way to find out without Big Boss Signas telling us, we oughta just have fun while we can.” “You mean to say that blasting that Maverick fortress into oblivion isn’t fun?” Rykov queried innocently. “Yep,” Alec replied with a knowing smile. “There’s that newbie mentality. War Is Fun, that’s what we all think. But then we get in the front lines…people shooting at you…comrades dying in bloody heaps…the beady eyes of the enemy boring holes through you right before they take you down…that’s when you realize that war isn’t fun. War is hell.” Alec finished, and held a straight face for exactly five seconds before dissolving into laughter, along with everyone else. “Who the hell am I kidding? There ain’t nothing like zooming your Raven over a target and letting a pair of Sidewinders fly, or dogfighting with some aerial Maverick bastard.” “Yeah, but you get to fly around in the air and do it,” Krysta pointed out. “We have to do all the hard work.” “Yeah, like throwing bombs around and unloading chain gun ammo at the bad guys!” Rykov bounced up and down like an eager child at Christmas, forcing a laugh even from Scythe, who looked as though he disagreed with most everything that had been said so far. “Feh, just remember to watch your back and keep your head.” Alec tapped himself on the noggin. “Most people who stay cool and calm come back alive.” “’Most’?” Krysta asked warily. “Well, you can’t win them all.” Alec cackled and got to his feet. “I’ll let you fellas go. I gotta get back to the pad before the Admiral gets after my ass.” “Run fast, Alec!” Rykov chided. “I got no desire to see the Admiral chasing after your ass.” “Yeah, have a nice day to you, too!” Alec grinned and flashed the one-finger-salute before marching off back to the jet hangars. Laughing, Rykov settled in his seat and yawned gloriously, relaxing as best he could. “People must hear us and think we’re all on cheap crack.” “The two of you maybe,” Scythe said as he got up. “But I’m the shy, quiet one. No one suspects the shy, quiet one.” Krysta grinned conspiratorially. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But after that stunt with Nightchaser, I think you spoiled that reputation.” “Damn.” The gold Reploid waved once. “I’ll be off then. Computer lab’s beckoning.” “I thought you didn’t like those things?” Rykov asked with a tilted head. “Oh, no, I love computers. I just can never figure out how to use the damn things properly.” “Join the club,” Krysta grumped as she waved back. “Catch you later, then.” “Watch your back,” Rykov warned. “Wouldn’t want Captain Coffee getting you from behind with a crowbar or something.” “I’ll be careful.” “So,” Rykov said when Scythe disappeared around the corner, “what do you make of this Rumor?” “Well, it is gonna happen.” Krysta brushed a lock of silver hair out of her face. “But really, how hard can it be to take down one castle? The Mavericks have always been much more spread out in the past, and so we had to use all our assets. This’ll be the shortest war in history.” “Maybe, maybe not…but here’s hoping.” Rykov frowned and closed his eyes. “I have this feeling that the Mavericks aren’t gonna go down easy. I mean, they never do, but something else is there this time…guess I’ll just have to wait and see.” “Hey, you laggards! Get back to work!” “Yes sir! Right away, sir!” “That’s what you said last time! I don’t want to catch you slacking again, you hear me?” “We hear you! God, what a shitmonkey…” “Ha ha!” “Stop laughing, start working!” The supervisor shook his head and left his two newest and most useless employees after scolding them a third time for sitting around when they were supposed to be patrolling the landfill. It wasn’t that hard of a job, and so the supervisor tended to get a little pissed when employees were too lazy to do even that. “I say again, he is a shitmonkey!” Pierre the skunk spat on the dusty ground as he restarted his long, boring patrol of the landfill perimeter. “Does he have any notion of how boring this is? Like something is going to happen! It’s a damned landfill, for alcohol’s sake!” “You never know!” Ludwig the gorilla pointed out, lumbering behind his eternal companion. “There might be some kind of big attack when we least expect it!” Ludwig tended to get too into these things. “Yeah,” Pierre said with a snort, “I can see the headlines now. ‘Incredibly Sinister Superterrorists Waste Great Amounts Of Money And Resources To Infiltrate The Megacity 5 Landfill XRE, Accomplishing Nothing Except Breaking A Fence And Stubbing A Toe’.” The skunk waved his arm to take in the whole of the gigantic, dirt-covered landfill. “It’s just a garbage dump, Ludwig! Why would anyone want to waste their time raiding it?” “Oh yeah?” Ludwig puffed out his chest, confident that he was on to something. “Well if it’s just a dumb garbage dump, why are the humans spending so much effort guarding it?” For the first time in his memory—which probably wasn’t as complete as it should have been, since Pierre consumed large quantities of Reploid booze and was prone to many blackouts—the skunk had nothing to counter the gorilla with. “Well…er…well who knows how these crazy humans think! Maybe they’re emotionally attached to this landfill, or something.” “Or maybe…” Ludwig’s eyes went wide as he indulged in his daydreams. “Maybe, there’s a great, big, secret—“ “Hey, yeah!” Pierre waved his arms around dramatically, while rolling his eyes at his friend’s childish notion. “Maybe there’s a great, big, secret treasure here that the humans buried ages ago, and now we, Pierre and Ludwig, security personnel extraordinaire, are the only ones who know of it! The future of the human treasure is in OUR HANDS!” “Isn’t it GREAT?” Ludwig exclaimed, bouncing with excitement. “I think I might hit you.” Pierre rubbed his temple. Ludwig was all right most of the time, but other times he was just a big moron. They continued on towards the southern border of the landfill, and Ludwig, who apparently had not heard Pierre’s threat, kept going on and on about the things he’d do with a human treasure. Pierre frowned and wondered again how he’d gotten into this mess. Ah yes, booze. The skunk and the gorilla had finally gotten themselves kicked out of every low class bar in Megacity 5, and so now they were being forced to raise their standards and go to better bars. Unfortunately this meant that they needed more money, and they were generally dirt poor, so Pierre had lined up this job for them. It had seemed easy at first; just walk around a big square area and get paid for it. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine that guarding Megacity Landfill XRE would be so mind numbingly boring. But, he knew it would be worth it in the end. “My god, Pierre!” Ludwig was ranting. “Think of it! A treasure! You know how many pixie sticks I could buy with a treasure?!” “THERE IS NO TREASURE!” Pierre all but bellowed, silencing Ludwig. They were still walking, and immediately after Pierre had spoken he tripped on something and fell to the ground. “Ohhhh my god,” Ludwig gasped, pointing with a trembling hand. “You…I think you found the treasure!” “What the hell makes you think that?” Pierre snapped, though a bit of anticipation was creeping through him. “Just look!” Ludwig insisted. “You never know, man!” Fingers shaking, Pierre reached to the object that had tripped him. What if Ludwig was right? What if this was the secret key to some buried human treasure? He took hold of the item and brought it into the light… “OH MY GOD!” Ludwig squealed like a girl. “It’s…it’s…A PEPSI CAN! Dude, Pierre, you found an old fashioned Pepsi can!!!” Pierre almost choked. When the hell would he learn never to get his hopes up around Ludwig? The gorilla snatched the can out of Pierre’s grasp and began appraising it like it was some rare gem. “Man, this is genuine! I bet if I found a collector…you know how much money I could make off this?” “No,” Pierre grunted as he got back to his feet. “Why don’t you tell me?” “TWO DOLLARS!” Ludwig beamed. “I love this job! This job is great! This job is—HEY LOOK OVER THERE!” And then he was gone. Pierre began a curse, but stopped when Ludwig dashed off. He chose a new one, uttered it, and began after his comrade, screaming for him to slow the hell down, but to no avail. Ludwig finally stopped over what appeared to be nothing but dusty ground, but he was pointing at it enthusiastically. “What?” Pierre asked testily. “What is it?” “Look, man!” Ludwig said with huge eyes. “Don’t you see it?!” “See what?” “Look! The color!” “Yeah, it’s grungy and brown, like the rest of this place.” “No! Not like the rest of this place!” Ludwig straightened and tried to sound composed and intelligent. “Most of the ground in this landfill is light brown. But this ground is a real dark brown. You know what that means, man?!” “It rained?” Pierre asked as innocently as he could, trying not to snicker. “No!” Ludwig said sternly. “If it were rain, the rest of this place would be dark brown too!” “So, Dr. Ludwig, what does this mean?” “What else? This ground was dug up, and the dirt was repacked, so it’s darker than the other dirt cause it was stirred recently!” Pierre chose to ignore the fact that what Ludwig said was scientifically correct for a change, and went straight to his riposte. “Yeah, Ludwig. I got news for you: this is a landfill. People dig holes and put stuff in them. You’re staring at one of these holes. Gasp!” “You just don’t get it!” Ludwig responded, rolling his eyes. “Someone ELSE dug this hole to get something OUT of it! Someone beat us to our treasure!” At this point Pierre fell over. “Will you STOP with the treasure crap?” “But it’s true!” Ludwig pouted. “Why else would the humans want this place guarded like this?” “Fine, Ludwig…” Pierre got to his feet and dusted himself off. “What then, do you suggest we do about it?” “Tell on them, of course!” “…” “Oh come on! It’ll prove to the supervisor man that we were being vig-..er…vigi…vigil…” “Vigilant?” “Yeah! That V-word!” Pierre sighed. “Fine. Let’s head back and complain, then…but let me do the talking. I think he might fire us if you start ranting about ‘your treasure’.” “Well it is…” Ludwig insisted with a firm certainty. The two began marching back to the landfill entrance, and Pierre did notice things he hadn’t noticed before. For instance, there were armed guards with the Megacity Army insignia prowling around the outer perimeter of the landfill. Why Megacity Army? Why not just hire more security guards? Maybe there was some treasure here…and they were about to go let the supervisor know about it? Where was the sanity in that? “Snap out of it, Pierre!” he hissed at himself. “Remember, don’t get your hopes up about anything Ludwig introduced to you. Just get your paycheck, go home, and hit a bar…and if Ludwig gets you in trouble with the supervisor, the next Pixie Stick you buy gets jammed into his optics.”