The search for the intimate relationship has lately been seen as the meaning of life.  Shows like Seinfeld and Friends followed the quests of young people as they sought out the perfect mate.  Countless magazines tell us what we should and shouldn't do/say/wear in the hopes of attracting our mystery match.  This preoccupation with finding our match couldn't come at a worse time in American history.  As the authors of Interpersonal Communication note, the state of the American community is in decline, and with it the ability to meet potential mates.  It is perhaps for this reason that society has lately seen an increase in intimate relationships in the workplace.  Once a cultural taboo, working relationships have become more accepted in recent years.  Critics continue to worry about the blending of the work and personal lives, and the concern that problems in one realm will spill over into the other is as alive as ever.  My personal experience with the issue differs from the norm, in that all the working relationships I have seen/participated in have been at a summer camp.  Working at a summer camp differs from most jobs, of course, in that I lived with my colleagues and saw them all day and night, not just the 9 to 5.  It is from this setting that I feel safe to say that intimate relationships in the workplace are appropriate, and given the right conditions, can even be beneficial to both the couple and the company.

As any summer camp counselor is sure to tell you within 5 minutes of being introduced, working with little kids can take its toll.  Kids are needy and self-centered and require a degree of supervision that most teenagers aren?t used to providing.  Counselors must take on roles different from the ones they are used to, and while this is not a bad task it certainly is a tiring one.  It is all the more manageable with a network of social support.  For some, this means the intimacy that seems to come naturally to the staff of a summer camp.  Living and working together dictates that counselors become close friends in a short period of time, and this usually happens without much effort.  Others, however, find that a closer relationship is more helpful in providing that support.

Having a romantic relationship at camp has many benefits.  Bad days are made better by the knowledge that you are valued and appreciated by at least one person at work.  A romantic relationship can offer a refuge from both campers and demanding coworkers.  Counselors are granted time off, and it is assumed that it will be spent with other counselors.  But a bad day between counselors A and B can ruin plans for their night out, and in this case the significant other becomes a remedy to what could be a disastrous night out that would leave both A and B feeling lousy.  By spending time with their significant others instead of each other, A and B are granted the space they need to recuperate and come back ready to work.  And, if nothing else, a romantic companion can make the worst days survivable by giving a counselor something to look forward to: time off with your companion.  Thus the debilitating effects of loneliness and depression are avoided, and a happy and effective counselor is produced.  The most direct beneficiary of this relationship, besides the counselors involved, are the campers themselves.  Kids thrive on excitement, and it is not easy to always be excited.  A romantic relationship gives counselors something to get excited about.

Of course, this is the ideal.  As any summer camp counselor is sure to tell you within 6 minutes of being introduced, there are problems with this set-up.  Negative effects of these relationships are few and rarely affect work performance, but when they do, they do so to an extreme.  Counselors have been known to leave for weeks or not return in the following summer if an intimate relationship fails.  When this happens, obviously, the camp is down a staff member, forcing the others to pick up the slack.  Generally this will result in the unfortunate consequence of fewer counselors to a cabin.  When this occurs, counselors get "worn out" faster and more easily than if they have a co-counselor to support them.  But, as previously mentioned, this rarely happens.  More often when a relationship fails the two parties involved find a way to work with each other civilly and effectively.

This situation - that of two coworkers formerly involved and now not - is anticipated by the camp's administration.  Our bosses, thankfully, are no fools and know that when young people live together intimate relationships are almost inevitable.  They realize the potential reward of staff relationships - that of a possible increase in morale - and they encourage relationships, though with the strong advisory that they not affect work.  They plan accordingly by not assigning couples to work too closely together and thus not exasperate the relationship.  In fact, a large part of the training week that precedes camp is devoted to discussing ways to keep relationships, both current and former, from affecting work negatively.  During this training, the administration makes their conditionally condoning view overtly clear.  It is then with the boss's "blessing" that camp relationships blossom.

To ensure that a perfectly healthy relationship doesn't become a problem, certain guidelines must be followed.  Obviously, the more personal elements of a relationship should be kept to the more personal setting of time off, as opposed to working hours.  Perhaps the key to a successful summer camp relationship is that the campers must remain completely ignorant of it.  Campers, for whatever reason, seem to be in a constant quest to determine who-is-dating-who, and should they ever find out (as some manage to do) they can make what was a discreet and professional relationship into a major distraction.  Unfortunately for them, their counselors usually do a good job of maintaining both privacy and professionalism.

Idealistically, no relationship would have any problems.  In reality, no relationship is without them.  And, while we may fear and frown upon some of the rare negative effects of a working relationship at a camp, we cannot ignore the testimony of the many counselors who claim, "That's the only way I made it through that summer."

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