Lies and the Lying Computer Companies That Tell Them

You know who I'm impressed with?  Computer companies.  More specifically, I'm impressed with the advertisers computer companies hire.  The reason I'm so impressed by these modern myth-makers is because they have convinced every teenager in America that they cannot have a higher education without a computer.  Kids today think that if you go to college without a computer, you're likely to just wake up dead one morning.  Just take a look at this list that one of my high schooler friends wrote last month.

Obviously, something is amiss here.  Computer advertisers have convinced people that you just can't survive without one.  But you CAN.  For example, I've managed to get all my work done, create a website, and check my e-mail twice a day all without a computer.  Am I some sort of super-human?  Dell and Apple would have you think so, but in fact I'm as human as Dick Cheney.  Maybe more so, since he has a pacemaker.  And he has no emotions. I've stumbled across something that proves that you can live without a computer.  It's something the computer companies don't want you to know, but they can't stop me.  Did you know that for hundreds of years people went to college WITHOUT computers?  It's TRUE!  Look!

How did all the billions of students who went to college in the time before computers ever manage to survive?  Oh, the agony they must have gone through.  It must have been UNBEARABLE.  Gimme a break IBMicrosAppleDell.  If computers are as important as you say they are, then my college should have about a million of 'em, WHICH IT DOES.  If only someone would tell the kids they could get by without a computer.  Then they could take the $2000 they would have spent and use it to buy real college necessities like food, water, shelter, and maybe even some drugs.  I mean, if you're into that sort of thing.  Which I'm not.

If you're not into drugs either, click here.