| Falling RATING: PG-13 By: Skylark |
| Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, you know the drill. |
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| The van threw me out the door moving at high speeds. I rolled upon impact, crying out as the concrete ripped at my skin, tearing bits of flesh away. But I was alive. I was alive!
I shakily stood to my feet, adrenaline helping me move. I had to get home, I had to beat them, I had to warn you. I had told them where you were so they would spare me, but I wasn’t going to let them get you. I would get to you first, I would hide you so they could never find you. I would never allow you to experience the hell I’ve lived. When I saw the door hanging open, though, I already knew. I shook my head against the knowledge, no, I told them only a few hours ago, right? They couldn’t have come so soon. I slowly walked into our room, and I knew they had already come. Glass and paper littered the floor and chairs were overturned. You were gone. Oh, God, what have I done? *** The cuts all over my body are infected. I guess they don’t clean the instruments used for torture. Seems a little redundant to clean them, I guess. I wonder if they would clean them for you. I throw up violently into the toilet. There’s nothing but bile coming up, though. I haven’t been able to eat since I’ve returned, the smell of food sickens me. My forehead lands on the cool porcelain, the smell of sick assaulting my nostrils. You would have held back my hair, made sure I eat, taken care of my wounds, if only you were here. If only I hadn’t told them where you were. I pray you are all right. *** The roses are dead. It could be because I didn’t water them since I returned to the flat, but I think it’s because you’re gone. They could have survived on their own, it’s not like the rain misses the window box, but they needed you to survive. Just like I do. The infection has passed, but now I’m out of food. I don’t care. All I do is sit on the couch, staring into nothing, wondering what they are doing to you. Valerie, my beautiful Valerie, how could I have had allowed them to take you? I thought I would be able to save you in time, I thought I would beat them. I feel myself falling without you. *** My lungs ache as I walk up the stairs, my breathing harsh. Just a few more flights, I tell myself, just a few more flights. I killed you. I realize that now. I sent them to you, willingly, with thoughts only of myself. It would be better if I had just allowed death to claim me. I stare over the edge into an empty alleyway. Calmness washes over my weak and frail body. You may be gone, but soon I can join you wherever you are. You always said our love would surpass death and we would reunite in heaven. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I see you in my mind, laughing, kissing me, touching me, loving me, I killed you, I destroyed you, I sent you to your death, your destruction, I murdered you, the one who’s supposed to love you eternally, I killed you. I take a step and leave the guilt behind. The wind rushes past me as I fall into death’s loving embrace. I hear your voice whisper forgiveness and I smile one last time. I’ll see you soon in heaven. |
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