For Glenn
For Paula
For Mom
For Diane
For Maria
For Dad
For Bob
For Michael
Fantasy
A Lighter Look at Friendship
A Thank You
Dwelling
8-94
1992
Shadow
Remember
3-91
1993
2-91
1998
Choices
12-90
Diane
1995
Family
That's not my Shadow
Nor My Reflection
Painful Bliss
1994
Do Over
Observations
5-92
Repetitive Stress Disorder
Thoughts and Pictures
Goodbye Old Friend
Sensations
Goodbye
Parting
Dreams
Spring
Memories
To A Friend
Final Goodbye
Union of Souls
Life
To My Friend
Confusion
March 1989
Forever
Triangle
More Than Friends
Twice Betrayed
Loneliness
Intermediate ponderings
Questions
Wind
Mystery Child
Forgotten Feelings
Forgotten Search
Shadow?
Over
Christmas Gift
Battle Scars
Time Quest
Lost Age
A Magical Dispute
Perfectly Confused
Back to the Past
Save the Humans
Timing
Moving On
Comfortable Mist
Reunited
The Edge
Magic Lost
Closer
Family
Closer
Shadows of Yesterday
Distraction
Once Again
A stranger in the darkness,
Who I knew so well.
Reach to me stranger - can you feel the moonlight?
Scattered thoughts dance through my mind,
Dating back to when the first moonbeam fell.
Glistening tears inhibit sight.
-Through the veil of tears we are one,
As the guides watch over.
Reach to me stranger of the moonlight.
Can you feel the power of the evening?
Reality shifts without a fight,
As we reach to again become one.
Top
For Paula
No more tears little one.
Pity and anger are done.
You truly are the master of your fate,
Take things as you want, tell other to wait.
Patience is yours, go with it.
Life is what you make, do what you see fit.
Truly gifted, child of the universe,
Your gift is your power.
Grow into it – Seek what is there.
Top
Truly a friend, though in disguise.
Linked together by unbreakable ties.
Cry for me and I'll weep for you.
Be happy and I will be to.
Stand by and understand,
Lead and follow – hand in hand.
My mother – my friend,
From beginning to end.
Top
Here we are once again,
Experiencing this together.
How long will be forever?
Sit and watch the stars with me
As they twinkle through the night,
Hinting of something greater.
Someday we will see.
Standing together looking for right
Until destiny is reached.
Top
May birds and spring soon return.
How to live through winter? I'll never learn!
If you're looking to be a popsicle, come to the Midwest.
For ice and snow Chicago's the best.
Hurry summer, please come back.
How many days below zero? I've lost track.
I'm freezing, I'm sneezing, help me now.
Lord keep me warm, I don't know how.
Top
It isn't gifts or material things that make you who you are,
But your love for humanity near and far.
The greatest riches are in the heart.
The treasure of love will never part.
When the tangible things are gone
What is inside remains.
Top
Thank the gods for '85,
I never thought I'd be alive
To see them win another one.
So as they begin this playoff run,
Watch over my Bears – may they play with grace.
Help them now in this playoff race.
With miracle touchdowns 'til victory's done
As you did in the season of 91.
Top
It was in darkness that I met you
And yet there was light.
A face connecting to a shadow
Buried deep within my mind.
Memories of yesterday,
Of dancing in the moonbeams.
Shadows of long ago
Joining with the present.
Come dance with me in the moonlight.
It's been so long since we shared this time
But alas – it has all been done before.
Top
I want to live the life of a storybook character.
My life growing and changing with the turn of a page,
With darkness followed by light,
Each crisis with its reason.
Oh to live that life –
To know everything turns out as it should.
Top
You were my friend, even when you stole a fork.
You've been my friend – though we've never been to New York.
We've called in sick – played hooky from work,
Even made friends with a 7-11 clerk.
Stayed up late – our minds corrupt,
Drank cocktails from giant paper cups.
Saw some bands, stayed out much to late,
Drank in bars that weren't so great.
You slept on the floor instead of your bed.
Sorry I ate your pizza bread.
Top
Friends are many things to many people.
A shoulder, an ear, a patient, a confidant,
You were my lesson
Without really knowing it.
I am here because of you.
You made me take the risk,
Showed me it didn't always have to be bad.
There was a new beginning,
Yet there was no end.
So when I saw the risk again,
I did not fear the worst.
Because you were still my friend.
Top
Hey you, the one behind the ego!
Wearing it like some kind of mask.
Wake up from your dream.
Meet my friend reality,
He's obviously a stranger.
If only I had known.
-I would have waited
If it were a bigger deal to me,
-I would have waited
If I would have know there was someone better-
-Which by the way there was.
-I would have waited
There's a first time for everything.
You just happened to be mine.
Get over it
Because I have.
Top
I shouldn't think of him but I must.
A fleeting moment that may have altered my life.
Or is it only now that I feel this way?
Yet I must ask myself –
Is it fate that brought us there?
Why, just as I said I would make my decision.
It must mean something for me.
-But for him?
Has that fleeting moment replayed itself as well?
Could he consider it something more…
How you reached out to me, but I couldn't ask you to stay.
Top
Will you stand by me until day is done?
Will you stand by me until final victory is won?
My love for you, so few understand.
The love friendship, for someone who's there as a helping hand.
As time ticks by, we grow and change.
We say things we later think of as strange.
Stinging words said to someone we care for.
But the love there lingers, though sometimes as forgotten lore.
Top
In shadows I linger,
Still fearing the light
-of life
-of joy
Be me light and I'll be your shadow.
And together we will move as one.
Top
I walked the path of my childhood, thinking the memories had been erased.
Only to be taught the shadows still linger, the memories only misplaced.
I remember laughing until we cried.
How we lost each other, despite what we tried.
Though it's 2 years gone, I remember it like yesterday.
Top
When I'm sorry works no longer
And the pain does nothing but grow stronger,
I think of you –
Of the things we used to do.
Tears – remembering yesterday,
And all the things we used to say.
It's gone for good.
Will you tell me why? I never understood.
Top
How could I have ever thought that this was goodbye?
I should have known it was only a new hello.
An ending isn't really an ending after all,
But simply a new beginning.
Top
Wandering aimlessly, without shame.
Being alone with no need for blame.
I can handle life by myself.
It's not a disaster if there is no one else.
If you want me, tell me now,
We'll work something out somehow.
If you don't, I'll be fine.
But I refuse to walk this thin line.
If I get no answer at all, or no reason why,
I'll be on my way after my last goodbye.
Top
Can you feel me pushing away?
Stop me, before it goes too far.
Or are you pushing to?
Too far – too fast.
Too little…
Tell me which end of the maze,
Which end am I heading for?
Top
I stumbled, almost gladly, through the mist until a clearing appeared.
For it was the clearing itself, not the mist that I feared.
As the clearing approached, I turned away.
Unwilling to face what the clearing might convey.
Uncertainty hurts but it needs no decision.
Being open to your feelings is harder than I could ever envision.
The mist, I suppose, must eventually clear.
Until then I'll be happy, for here I have both.
And no choice to be made.
Top
A dragon flew by my window yesterday.
"We are old friends," he came to say.
"You were once my wizard and my master."
I reached out to him as he flew faster and faster.
"I have come for you as I said I would," he began to explain.
"It is time for you to refresh your magic.
With a great master you will train."
With that I was off, void of all worries and fears.
Top
Many moons have passed since we shared our first laugh.
The stars have moved across the sky.
Shadows of memories of how it began.
Were you really a stranger when we first met?
Something familiar in the back of my mind.
We are old friends the wise one said,
The memories are simply not visible yet.
Ancient times and ancient places –
All seem strangely familiar.
We've danced in the moonlight
Have had different faces,
But you are always you,
And I am always your friend.
Top
I love you.
And it scares the hell out of me.
Can I believe that you love me too?
Am I just a passing phase?
This could be it –
Are you willing to try?
Because If this goes on
I make no promise,
Of peaceful parting
On later days.
For part of me soon,
Will only exist with you.
Top
My family is my family,
Regardless of who they are.
My sister is my best friend,
To whom I never would have spoke.
Except I had to love her
-For she is my family.
My brother, so much younger than me,
Yet sometimes so much wiser.
In me he sparks anger and joy,
And hope, sadness, and even jealousy.
For he is the child which I could never be.
But alas, he to is family.
My parents – never meant for one thought,
Are so much my destiny.
From her I gain courage and strength.
From him the tricks to get by.
From both I learn tolerance and eventual love.
For they to, willing or not are still family.
So many more create this unit,
Each bringing a unique sense of caring.
All individuals, creating a whole
- An illogical bond that makes true sense.
We are family because we love each other,
And we love each other because we are family.
I am all of these people and they are all me
And so continues the family.
Top
The shadows of yesterday still haunt me.
Those who love you see memories where I should be.
Is this the wall that again restricts us?
So tired of being judged by yesterday.
Told so often to follow my path, find my own way.
Yet how, when the path is already chosen?
How can I be myself when I'm already someone else?
When will you see me for who I am, for who I could be?
Top
You asked me to trust, to abandon fears.
To see only you and shed no more tears.
I have struggled, I have fought, and the memories have too.
I have realized my fears, now I see only you.
Yet now as I see you with me,
I know it is not only me that you see.
Yesterdays rules and yesterdays games all still apply.
This doubt you cast on me, I have not earned.
Look in my mirror, I'll tell you why
You see one person, one soul; that is all you are.
Top
I will only love but twice,
Of this I am nearly certain.
The first has come and gone.
And this is how I know
Of pain that sears like the hottest fire.
Pain that tears at your soul
Ripping you in two.
But it is this same love that gave me bliss.
This is how I know of wholeness,
Of oneness with another,
Alas the time was wrong,
Perhaps some pieces missing.
How or why? They do not matter.
Only that it had to go.
Why must it return?
Risking all this pain.
It is the bliss that draws me in,
And the pain that pulls me away –
So now the signs have nearly come full circle.
I'm falling once again.
Perhaps to quickly, for better judgment –
The bliss – it calls to me,
The oneness, I crave.
But I realize, if the pain must come again
That will be the end.
The fire will consume me,
My soul will tear apart.
And I will be no longer.
This is what holds me back,
And what pushes me forward.
Top
I've finally realized what a true friend is.
It isn't someone you always see,
It isn't the one with whom you talk every day.
Friendship goes beyond these mere physical barriers.
The person who calls, after weeks without contact,
Just as the tears are at their worst.
Not knowing why, just knowing to call.
- That is a friend
And that is all you need.
Top
Life is just a game.
But even games have rules.
Maybe it's my fault for being late.
For moving too much, or just not paying attention.
I know there are rules.
Every game has them.
From the children on the playground,
Improvising their game of tag.
To us and how we love each other,
Each and every day.
So it comes to this?
An empty space where I thought you'd be.
Too much knowledge could have brought us here.
Or was that misinformation,
And we might not know each other at all
Top
I sat, I pondered, life, death, why (?). Why not, I answered myself. My voice echoed off the empty walls – one small sound in the void of existence. Where is the light, it should always be here? Are my eyes just not willing to see it? Darkness began to settle, all to quickly. Yes, I suppose even the sun must leave me at this point. Darker, darker the sky became as the earth consumed the sun. Goodbye and please return. "It will," I answered myself. The voice echoed. It startled me. Stars began to appear like tiny eyes that were watching me – and we wept together. I realized I truly exist in that of something greater. Hello out there, and thank you.
"Hello, your welcome," they answered.
- This time there was no echo.
Top
Mist covers the room, turning to a dark dense fog. I'm trying to cut my way
through, but I am lost in my own thoughts. Darkness falls and there is
no moon, if there was I wouldn't see it. The dark shadows consume my
mind as I search, grasping for the light. The power is there, within my
soul, if only I could reach it.
I can't control fate. I know that now, but only as I weep for you. My
mate, you shared my soul, yet never my lips. Love in its truest sense –
no need for words, no need for demonstration.
Goodbye for now, my companion, my friend – our love will never end.
Top
There's only so many times you can smash your head against a wall,
So many times before you bleed.
A little of me wants to hate you.
Part of me doesn't care.
You know the worst part though?
That most of me wants to love you,
Is my heart bleeding?
Or is it only the color of my shirt?
The bottles of forgetfulness are lined up on the wall.
They reach for me,
I smash them away.
Am I bleeding,
Or is it only the color of my shirt?
Is the wall concrete, is it steel, or is it only human flesh?
They're all the same, they hold as firm.
There's only so many times you can smash your head against a wall before you bleed.
A little of me wants to hate you.
Part of me doesn't care.
Most of me wants to love you,
Yet a little of me wants to get even.
Take me in. Turn it around.
Make my worst fears come true.
Is the angel of death really an angel?
I guess it's all perspective.
Are you who you said you were?
Or was that only an illusion…
A mirror
A tale
A comic book character
A mask
A front
A WALL!
There's only so many times you can smash your head against a wall.
So many times before you have to bleed.
You know, most of me wants to love you.
But a little of me wants to hate you.
And part of me doesn't care…
Top
I cried. I wept, until the tears were no more. When I opened my eyes to my surroundings again a strange thing had happened, the blues were bluer, the greens were greener. Everything seemed truly beautiful, brighter somehow. I'd say I loved him, if I only knew what love was. Emotions are so strange. It's amazing how something so abstract can affect the tangible things. The darkness of confusion meeting the light of openness.
As the tears begin to dry on my face I realize I must accept this as yet another
learning experience. Realization doesn't stop me from asking, "Why?"
"To learn about emotions," the guide said to me. He said he wanted me once but I wouldn't listen. Now, he may be gone and I'm realizing I care.
"Am I to late?" I ask, no tears left to be shed.
"What will be, will be. You can only control your own destiny," the guide whispered reassuringly.
I sit, I ponder, do I tell him, that now, though it may be to late, I am willing to listen, willing to see? Memories dance past my eyes, almost taunting me. Memories and dreams exchanging places in my mind. I see what was there and grasp it today.
Then a knock at my door, no more daydreams – reality wants to come in, and I suppose I should let it.
Top
Soon the final puck will drop on all our memories, and the roar will fall silent forever. It’s time to say goodbye to an old friend, one we’ve shared so much with, good and bad. Perhaps it is so hard to say goodbye because the memories are as much of the building as the ice itself, entwined in the rafters with the pipes of the organ that accompanied so many of them.
Three generations of my family have crossed through those doors, and it saddens me that I will be the last. The Stadium has always made the game so much more than that for me. It’s given me the feeling of spending time with the grandfather I never got the chance to know, and it’s been the sight of many important moments in my life (my first two serious relationships began there.) I grew up there.
As for the game, I never saw the legends like Gardiner, The Bentleys and Hall, and I just missed the Golden Jet; yet I feel as if I were there. I have seen the likes of Mikita, Esposito, Doug Wilson, Savard and Secord, and remember them fondly. I remember being part of the standing ovation at the end of the Stanley Cup Finals in 1992. Most of all I remember the anthems; the sparklers and the laryngitis; who says a building can’t come to life. The Stadium has housed them all, their shadows still linger there watching, waiting for the next part of history to join them, if you listen you can hear them, each wanting to tell their story.
Soon the house of memories, our old friend, will be gone. When the roar is silenced for the last time, we will have our memories to take with us, and our stories to tell. So goodbye old friend, there are many of us who will miss you. I’ll be one of the many shedding a tear in the second balcony on April 14th. -Thanks for the memories!
And so it is time to create new memories, to welcome a new friend, and perhaps someday we will tell those stories, but we will always remember the roar.
The wind reaches out with icy fingers,
And as I wander it seems so gloomy and sad.
Though it is day the darkness lingers,
This gloom, why must it be so hard to stay glad.
I know it seems crazy,
But today of all days,
I can hardly be lazy,
Though I think of many ways.
The thunder crashes,
The darkness deepens,
The lightening flashes,
And my bravery weakens.
Why must this feeling of fear,
And all this depression be so near?
Top
There comes a time to leave,
But why must we part,
Since saying goodbye tears so at the heart.
All I do is tell myself you'll return and I believe.
I wish there was a way I could relieve
The feeling I feel that's so heavy I couldn't start
To tell how it pierces like a dart.
This all seems just so hard to conceive.
For now I'll await your return,
To feel your penetrating stare
That makes my heart jump.
When you come back, I'll no longer yearn
For what I think is fair,
And the feeling will return that brings to my throat a lump.
Top
We said we would part never,
A promise we thought would last forever.
But as time goes on how people change,
And now our lives we must rearrange.
What happened to the way we used to feel?
I thought that all our feelings were real.
Now I lay all night and stare
And remember how we used to care.
Why must we go through this pain?
Why couldn't things just stay the same?
But now I understand that we must part,
Even though it tears at my heart.
There's one last thing that I must say, just my final plea,
In all you do remember the past, but most of all remember me.
Top
I lay all night and dream,
I wonder, do you really know how much you mean.
Oh how I wish that I could make real
The feelings I dream you feel.
Why when I think of you does my heart ache?
I ask myself how much more can I take?
I await the day when you will see
How much I care, and feel the same for me.
Top
The sun rises and the bird sings,
This all reminds me of so many things.
I wish that days like these would last,
As they remind me of things from summers past.
I stand outside and the sun shines on my face,
And I wish I would never have to leave this place.
But then I remember that this will not be the last day
That the sun will shine, for summer is on its way!
Top
Why must I constantly remember this place?
Why am I plagued by the memory of your face?
I know it would be wise to forget the past.
How I wish we could have had more and made it last.
People tell me "just forget him,"
But can anyone show me how to make these memories grow dim.
My memories will fade slow-
Making it even harder to let go.
I'll always remember, no matter what it seems,
I learned through you what true love really means.
Top
You were always there when I needed you.
Through all the good times and bad times too.
Here's to all the crazy times and those yet to come,
For I plan to have many with you before my life is done.
One small problem, our childhood must end
And bigger challenges we'll face, oh to make those years extend.
I hope you'll always be a shoulder on which I can lean
But will I ever be able to express how much it truly means.
But I still must ask, will our friendship truly last?
Or will we someday just forget the past?
Will we stay close, you and me?
And my friend will you always be?
Top
"My life is over" I said and then I wept.
After that from my face my final tear I swept.
What happened to all the times we shared,
Did his feelings grow dim? -Maybe he never cared.
blood hits the ground and I fall to the floor,
It may have been my imagination but there seemed to be a knock at
my door.
Somehow I seemed to know it wasn't a friendly face,
Which only reminded me of how I disliked this place.
Remember this picture of how I lie, And now it's time for me to say:
Goodbye.
Top
A love like ours was made to last,
I ask "then why did things have to go so fast?"
We are a couple that was meant to be.
But why so many obstacles between you and me?
Though we may not be together now
We are joined though some may not understand how.
The thought that keeps me alive is that we will reunite forever
one day,
Though as of now I am not sure of the way.
When my existence here is done
I will cross over and we will again be as one.
Top
We all start out as the tiny child,
Small and meek yet slightly wild.
We are our parents little bundle of joy
And maybe even a brother or sisters' brand new toy.
However, in this world things never stay the same,
And our own personalities we begin to claim.
By taking a chance with a first step we begin to walk.
And those few small words start us on our way to talk.
As we get older we must start school,
Learn to share with others and obey every rule.
We become more independent, and our parents must understand
That we need only once in awhile a helping hand.
We first experience what's known as puppy love,
And our parents begin to wonder: are we still that bundle of joy
God sent them from above.
We've made it through grade school and how much we have grown.
We've learned more than we thought we could ever have known.
Yet still there is so much that we must learn.
Still searching for that respect we know we must earn.
We learn the value of friendships and how important it is to
make them last,
To hold on to each moment for it may soon be the past.
And now from high school we must depart,
Which means saying goodbye to ones dear to our heart.
It's now time to realize we can no longer play,
Our lives we must plan before they slip away.
Entering college is quite a big step,
But that guiding voice reminds us it's not quite the real
world yet.
We've finished college and now have our careers,
It's time to go out into the real world and face all our fears.
Some decide now it's time to find the perfect mate.
While others further themselves business-wise and decide
to wait.
We have grown, yet have much left of our lives,
This we are reminded by those who have not yet become husbands
or wives.
We've found a job and made a home.
Through this world we no longer completely roam.
We've settled down and a family we have started.
With our actions of childhood, we've finally parted.
We are not the most important thing in our lives now.
Others have become more important somehow.
We have watched new personalities form,
Prepared the next generation to take the world by storm.
We begin to think maybe we're reaching the twilight of our
existence.
Should we let it happen or put up a resistance?
We hope we will be remembered after we're gone
We strive for the best, unsure of which is the final pawn.
We now look back on our lives, what we learned and what we were
taught,
All that was given to us, and all that we sought.
We've experienced life and lived it well,
Acquired knowledge and stories to tell.
We can now sit and watch others grow,
And realize that with the light of youth we no longer glow.
We know our time of parting is drawing near.
Deep down we somehow know crossing over is nothing to fear.
After we've left a physical plane we are still around,
Once in awhile we communicate through vision or sound.
We can watch loved ones grow and with them abide
Until once again we all meet on the other side.
Top
What we have is a friendship I would hate to lose.
But somehow my feelings for you changed.
Grown from the love of friendship to something more.
From the beginning my life you seemed to have rearranged.
My feelings for you I hide under a mask.
If you only knew how much I care.
I wonder "can we be more than friends?"
And still my feelings for you seem so unfair.
I can't express the way that I feel,
All I know is these feelings are completely real.
Top
An echo in the corridor.
Footsteps in the dark.
What could it all mean,
Is it some sort of evil mark?
I can't understand what's going on.
What's the purpose of the mist surrounding me?
I want to leave but I dread it.
I know I should but how can I flee?
Top
A glance across the table,
A reassuring brush across the hand.
A gentle smile when your down
And a warm hug.
Are these symbols of friendship,
Or could it be more?
Top
Love never dies it simply grows-changes,
Like the caterpillar to the butterfly.
Blossoming into something more beautiful
than anyone could ever imagine.
Top
Why can't I care for you instead of her?
This situation is confusing me, making me so unsure.
I'm no longer sure how to treat you.
I don't know how to act or what to do.
We seem to be caught in an emotional triangle,
The three of us, our lives on a cliff seem to dangle.
I don't mean to ignore you or how you feel,
But my feelings for her seem just as real.
I miss our friendship and how we used to talk.
If only things could be the way they were, the same old path we
used to walk.
Top
Once again she watched his walk.
Her feelings for him grew each day.
She seemed to fall deeper each time she heard him talk.
She could not explain why she felt this way.
He treated her like a best friend would.
But she had a love for him of another kind.
It was nothing but friendship and that she understood.
But her feelings for him she could not erase from her mind.
Time has passed and many things have changed.
Although there are many that have stayed the same.
Her life she eventually rearranged.
Quickly the time came for her to end the game.
He sent her flowers and said goodbye
To his one true love who never knew.
He wept for her and continually asked why.
If he only knew that she loved him too.
Top
You promised you would be my friend,
That our friendship would never end.
But when my feelings changed so did you.
You left me alone, unsure of what to do.
I didn't know why I began to feel that way,
But all you could tell me is "I don't know what to say."
You told me there were things you had to set straight.
Did you expect me to just sit around and wait?
I was scared of being alone and unsure of who my friends were.
By doing this you upset my life, you caused quite a stir.
Now you want me to accept-you as if there has been no change.
Don't you realize that my life I would now have to rearrange.
You want me to pretend things never changed, that they stayed
the same.
How do I know how long it will be before you once again change
the rules of the game.
Top
Loneliness is like the last fallen leaf before the first fallen
snow.
Loneliness can make someone wander with no place to go.
Loneliness can make you cry,
It can make you ask, "why."
Loneliness makes laughter almost to much to bear,
It makes it seem like there is no one to care.
Loneliness makes it seem like life moves so slow,
The next step, to retreat into oneself, the only logical place
left to go.
Top
The questions seem to be constantly asked
-yet never answered.
We say we know one another
-but do we?
Is our existence merely a shadow
-a glimmer of something greater?
The questions seem to be asked
-maybe answered.
Answered by voices only some choose to hear.
Answered by beings only some choose to believe exist
Top
The child cries with fear and fright,
Awoke by a noise deep into the night.
Hush child, it is only the wind and nothing more.
The child cries at the growing noise.
He is fully lacking any sense of joys.
Child, it is only the wind and nothing more.
A voice is heard, an echo of the past?
Is it possible that love could last?
Quiet child it is the wind, yet maybe more.
A loved one returning to see the child's face.
Glowing from the memories of the child's embrace.
No need to cry my child, It is only the wind
-and something more.
Top
Little child, why do you weep?
What is it that brings you to me and disturbs my sleep?
What significance in my life do you hold?
There is a reason-for your presence, or so I'm told.
Who is your companion, I feel I must know.
I try to place the pieces together but it is coming slow.
I see you not only in my sleep now, but my waking as well.
I feel so close to you, why I can't tell.
Mystery child with whom do you walk?
I see you both but neither will talk.
Have we met before or is that yet to come?
This seeking would have been given up by some.
Yet I cannot forget it
-Nor will it pass.
Top
It's not that I just don't care.
Nothing could be further from the truth,
I'm not sure of what they are but the feelings are there.
It's just that right now my life is severely changing.
I feel like my entire world is rearranging.
I can't forget we have a past,
I have to remember it didn't work then, that it didn't last.
Right now I'm confused unsure of what to do.
I'm sorry because I realize you must feel that way too.
I know we've changed and we're different people now.
But I must ask, how much difference will this change allow.
Top
Walls of emotions creating rooms,
Shutting out others by lock and key.
The key is in reach of those who desire it,
The door will unlock for those who search.
If only someone would take on the quest,
All are welcome-
Yet no one comes.
Top
A seemingly significant memory replays itself.
Through the shadows of my mind it floats as clear as the moon.
What is the reasoning behind its presence?
Why him and not someone else?
Top
Funds are short this Christmastime,
This is why I was inspired to write this rhyme:
Chicago in winter is an odd place to be.
There is much to do and things to see.
Yet we freeze in the cold
As we decide to go out and be bold.
We are infamous from East to West,
Arguing, even among ourselves, which sports team is best.
We're a home for the proud and certainly the brave.
The pennants of our teams we will always wave.
Returning to Chicago at this time of year
Is responded to by lots of good cheer.
For it is now when we can watch grown men fight,
Without getting nervous or being uptight,
For these are men who skate on ice.
For us in Chicago only playing Hockey will not suffice.
It is the knockdown drag outs that we enjoy.
But on to my purpose, with your curiosity I will no longer toy.
I've seen them play the Islanders and Edmonton too.
But something was missing, perhaps it was you.
I'm speaking of course of attending a game,
To watch our Blackhawks in all of their fame.
Unfortunately a problem arose,
Although nothing as unfortunate as what happened to Pete Rose;
(A scandal in Chicago, how absurd,
As ridiculous as a mewing bird!)
As I was saying and you've already heard,
A slight problem I seem to have incurred.
Edmonton was to early, Vancouver to late.
So for the actual tickets you'll have to wait.
So now you know I wasn't being cruel and I wasn't being cheap;
Be quiet Arthur, not even a peep.
Don't cheer to loud but my poem is done.
And I will see Art and Maria at the Stadium!
Top
It's not that I wanted you to say goodbye.
It isn't that it didn't hurt or make me cry.
I've just finally realized I'm the only one I truly need.
Don't believe I never cared for you, for I did indeed.
Top
Across the miles and through the years.
All viewed through a veil of tears.
The pain hasn't faded-perhaps it will always be there.
Why memories of sadness? What happened to the joy that used to
be here?
The ghosts of the "battles" still haunt this place.
No sounds of happiness, not even a trace.
No one would give in until someone had won.
Now I see there were no winners now that it's done.
The scars are many-we both have lost,
Simply a battle of egos and look at the cost.
Top
I am on a quest of which only the master knows,
Searching for noblemen and long lost heroes.
In search of wizards and mages,
Traditions and beliefs lost through the ages.
A time of magic that has remained a mystery,
Something left unrecorded by history.
Will this time ever resurface to stay around?
Perhaps it is gone forever-never to be found.
Top
A time remembered only in legends and stories,
People fought to better the world disregarding glories.
Good and evil battled face to face,
Consumed in the battle unaware of time and space.
It was a time filled with wizards, sorcerers, and mages;
Of magic and beliefs that have vanished through the ages,
A time of mystic and magic and for it I yearn,
I fear it is gone forever and will not return.
Top
The sorcerer chanted to cast a spell,
To turn the poor Knight into something only he could tell.
"This is what you deserve for questioning my magic,
The rest of your life will be tortured and tragic."
The Knight shook as his bravery vanished
For to the corners of the earth he would be banished.
Finally when all hope had dwindled away,
A wizard appeared but what would he say?
"Unhand that knight for he hath not your power.
Isn't it enough to see him cower?"
"He has questioned me and gone against my demand
Now he must suffer his fate at my hand.
This knight must suffer long perhaps never be dead,
For it is torture I want," the sorcerer angrily said.
The wizard stepped in, not a moment to soon.
And began humming an odd little tune.
"Don't say I didn't warn you" the wizard said as he jumped
about.
His song became louder then became a shout.
The sorcerer vanished, sent to the corners of the earth
To be punished forever, no chance of rebirth.
Top
Isn't it amazing how lost you can be and still have direction.
Isn't it strange how things can be in pieces even with the whole
story.
Isn't it odd how things are all mixed up when they're perfectly
clear.
A series of doors to which you hold the keys,
- Yet somehow you still cannot enter.
Top
It is a time lost and that's the sad story
No one strives anymore to achieve honorable glory.
Gone are swordsmen and wizards-they have completely vanished.
No one knows why or to where they were banished.
Gone are the noble arts of the sword.
Now it's guns and bombs that rule as lord.
Nation against nation instead of evil versus good.
Then again, I ask, is good truly understood?
It's not a matter of political rightness,
Striving for peace shouldn't be taken with such lightness.
It's not a matter of political ground,
The idea of saving the world is the one that is sound.
To return to the times of legends and stories,
I would take that any day over modern glories
Top
With all the talk of saving all creatures,
There's one we forgot with similar features.
We strive to save the birds and the whales,
Animals with long necks and those with tales.
These are important but something is missing.
This animal doesn't meow nor is it hissing.
The one we've forgotten we know quite well.
It is someone near us we're putting through hell.
Could there be signs to prevent this mess?
After all I was unaware at one time I confess.
Put up signs and spread the word,
The animal endangered isn't some sort of bird.
The world must know the time has come.
Someone's killing the humans and something must be done!
Top
Why is it that though timing is so important we can't seem to
master it?
But instead, until it's to late on our emotions we sit.
Holding back our feelings for much to long,
Turning our lives into another sad song.
We build up walls of hurt and despair.
Convincing ourselves that we shouldn't care.
Finally someone comes to break that wall,
But we're to afraid to act so we continue to stall.
Sitting and waiting until it's to late,
One has moved on, for they couldn't wait.
The feelings aren't dead but the relationship's lost.
Tragedy caused by nothing but unfortunate timing
-yet look at the cost.
Top
Once again we've missed one another.
How long can we do this to each other?
I waited so long for those words to hear.
I realize now we had nothing to fear.
Why is it people seem to wait so long,
Trying to convince themselves their feelings are wrong.
Not that I regret the decisions I made,
Nor my life do I wish to trade.
But I wonder what could have happened if I only knew
That the feelings I had for you -you felt them too.
I'm happy now with the life I'm in.
But I can't help but wonder "what if?" -is that a sin?
Top
I stumbled through the mist until a clearing appeared.
For it was the clearing itself, not the mist that I feared.
As the clearing approached I turned away,
Unwilling to face what the clearing might convey.
Uncertainty hurts but it needs no decision.
Being open to your feelings is harder than I could ever
envision.
The mist, I suppose, must eventually clear.
Until then I'll be happy for here I have both
-And no choice to be made.
Top
A dragon flew by my window yesterday.
"We are old friends," he came to say.
"You were once my wizard and my master."
I reached out to him as he flew faster and faster.
"I have come for you as I said I would," he began to explain,
"As it is time for you to refresh your magic
With a great master you will now train."
With that I was off, Void from all worries or fears.
Top
Uncertain what to do -completely confused.
Tiptoeing through darkness looking for light
While hanging on the edge of friendship.
Strange how people change.
How many lives rearranged
While hanging on the edge of friendship?
Hoping for more and wanting less.
To think a simple kiss started this mess
And pushed us to the edge of friendship.
Top
A puff of smoke and a magic word.
Then it was clear but for a soaring bird.
It was all over; the spell had failed,
No new magician to be hailed.
The eagle flew by,
A tear forming in his eye.
He must now bid farewell to his longtime friend,
To another student he must attend.
From place to place until the right one is found.
For he knows there is a trueborn magician somewhere
-Waiting to be found.
Top
We spoke today and exchanged a glance.
We're getting closer and the walls are closing in.
Are we thrown together just by chance?
As we get closer and the walls are closing in.
What's going on? I'm so confused.
Why is it, that as we get closer the walls are closing in?
Thoughts and feelings being abused
As we move closer and the walls close in.
Top
My family is my family,
Regardless of who they are.
My sister is my best friend -
To whom I never would have spoke.
Except I had to love her
-For she is my family.
My brother, so much younger than I,
Yet sometimes so much wiser.
In me he sparks anger and joy,
And hope and sadness and even jealousy,
For He is the child which I could never be.
But alas, he too is family.
My parents-never meant for one thought
-Are so much my destiny.
From her I gain courage and strength,
From him the tricks to get by.
From both I learn tolerance and eventual love,
For they to, willing or not are still my family.
So many more create this unit.
Each bringing a unique sense of caring.
All individuals creating a whole
-An illogical bond that makes true sense.
We are family because we love each other,
And we love each other because we are family.
I am all of these people and they are all me
-Yet I am, and need to be, more.
This is why I searched for you.
Yet if you are to love me-you must love all of me,
And I will love all of you.
And so continues the family.
Top
Friends are many things to many people.
A shoulder, an ear, a patient, a confidant.
You were my lesson,
Without really knowing it.
I am here because of you.
You made me take the risk,
Showed me it didn’t always have to be bad.
There was a new beginning,
Yet there was no end.
So when I saw that risk again,
I did not fear.
Because you were still my friend.
Top
You asked me to trust, to abandon fears.
To see only you and shed no more tears.
I have struggled, I have fought, and the memories have too.
I have realized my fears, now I see only you.
Yet now as I see you with me,
I know it is not only me that you see.
Yesterdays rules and yesterdays games all still apply.
This doubt you cast on me I have not earned.
Look in my mirror, I’ll tell you why
You see one person, one soul,
Because that is all you are.
Top
Because of you my life has direction.
When everything seems to be falling apart,
It’s the thought of you that keeps me together.
-Then you tell me, you have nothing.
Why must you break my heart?
Nothing to live for?
-Then what am I!
So tired of being a simple distraction
Will I ever be more?
Distractions are only that,
and never forever.
Top
**Previously Published as "Diane"**
It was in darkness that I met you,
And yet there was light.
A face connecting to a shadow
Buried deep within my mind.
Memories of yesterday,
-Of dancing in the moon beams.
Shadows of long ago,
Joining with the present.
Come dance with me in the moonlight,
It’s been so long since we shared this time.
But alas - it has all been done before
Top
URL: http://www.oocities.org/melanie0971
E-mail: Melanie
Revised April 3, 2008