Disclaimer: Once again, I'm taking Saban's characters and make them do things that sprang from my sometimes slightly demented imagination. I have no permission to do this, nor am I being paid. This story takes place a few years after CtD; the former Zeo and Morphin' Rangers lead normal lives in and around Angel Grove. Wait a minute ... did I just say "normal"?? Uh ... not quite. I hope I haven't mutilated the characters beyond recognition; any "aberrant" behavior is wholly my fault, and I've tried to give sufficient reasons for what I think are very Human reactions ... I'd rate this as PG-13, though. Warning: Major kleenex alert! As usual, please comment! DB, Fall 99
Casting
Stones
by
Dagmar Buse
"He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone..." (Gospel of St. John 8,7)
"I'm pregnant."
Kat's quiet statement seemed to echo loudly in Jason's ears as he looked at the pretty blonde sitting across from him at a small café in downtown Angel Grove on a sunny July afternoon.
"And it's my child." It wasn't a question, and both knew it.
"Yes. I haven't spent any time with Tommy ... like that ... for
nearly three months. He ... he was never home long enough for us to ..."
Kat shrugged miserably, not meeting Jason's eyes. It was precisely that fact
that had led to their current predicament. While she was waiting for her former
teammate to react to her announcement, scenes from the past year or so flashed
through Kat's mind.
Kat and Tommy had been dating since High School; not even her scholarship to the Royal Dance Academy in London had been able to break them up. Of course, they'd had to work at their relationship, to keep the feeling alive, but that was normal, wasn't it? When Kat had returned to Angel Grove after two years, they had grown closer again, but at the same time, Tommy's racing career had taken off, resulting in long weeks on the road following the racing circuit. She had been sorry, of course, but a lot of their friends were still living close by; if she wanted, she had more than enough company after work and on those weekends when Tommy was away. There was Rocky in Stone Canyon, Jason in Angel Grove, both managing their own dojos and even cooperating loosely ... Tanya and Adam were married and living in Los Angeles, only a couple of hours away if she needed the big city, and even Kim, Trini and Zack dropped by from time to time, when their respective careers allowed it. Kat herself was teaching ballet at a dance studio, combining her two loves into a satisfying job.
Tommy did his best, but his busy schedule didn't allow him much time to himself to accompany his girlfriend (and eventually, his lover) to every function or outing that Kat wanted -- or sometimes had -- to attend. Since he felt it would be highly unfair to ask Kat to stay at home alone, one day, when a sponsor's whim suddenly cancelled his visit home, he hit on the perfect solution. He called his best friend since High School and asked Jason if he could substitute for him.
Kat was naturally surprised by the change in plans and partners, but since she'd always liked Jason and he was willing, she spent an enjoyable evening at an awards banquet with the former Gold Ranger, listening delightedly to the stories he told her of the early days of the Rangers, before and since Tommy had joined the team.
This wasn't to be the last time Jason deputized for Tommy; over the months that followed, there even had been a few instances when Kat had been Jason's escort, and the two had gotten into the habit of meeting occasionally for a coffee, a movie or pizza when the opportunity arose. Jason's relationship with Emily hadn't lasted past the time he'd been at college; although he dated casually, he was almost always available when Tommy called to ask him to take Kat somewhere.
It had been one such evening shortly after Memorial Day that had led to the situation they now found themselves in; the blonde dancer had had tickets for a world-famous ballet that was making a rare tour stop in Angel Grove, and Tommy had promised to go with her. Unfortunately, he'd told her when he called only a couple of hours before they were supposed to leave, his car had developed engine troubles, and Tommy felt that supervising the mechanics himself was more important than going to a theatrical performance that meant little to him personally. He'd been distracted and short on the phone, and Kat was still angry and very much disappointed as she opened the door of her tiny apartment to Jason as he came to pick her up.
"Hey, none of that," the former Gold Ranger lightly scolded his pretty escort as he noticed Kat surreptitiously wiping frustrated tears from her eyes. "Let's see if we can't make something of this evening after all. You've been looking forward to this for so long; don't let Tommy spoil it for you. I'll try and make it up to you, okay?"
Privately, he shook his head at his best friend; he didn't understand how Tommy could become so wrapped up in his driving that he was starting to neglect his girlfriend. Kat was too nice, too classy to be treated that way. If she were his girlfriend ... but she wasn't, she was his best friend's, had been for years, and Jason promised her and himself that her disappointment would be gone by the time he took her home. True to his word, Jason did everything he could to make Kat forget she'd been stood up. After the ballet, which he'd enjoyed (much to his surprise) because Kat took the trouble to explain things to him, he took the Australian to dinner, sharing a small carafe of wine, and then to a travelling carnival right outside of town. Once there, he made her laugh by coaxing her onto all the kiddie rides, winning a ridiculously silly-looking Pink Panther toy ("It is a cat of sorts, isn't it?") for her, and Kat whimsically bought a much smaller red dinosaur for him when he wasn't looking. It was close to midnight as the two friends arrived at Kat's place, and it seemed like the most natural thing in the world that Kat ask Jason in for a cup of coffee.
Jason sprawled on the soft couch next to the fluffy toys while Kat set the coffee to percolating and took off her jewellery and shoes. He helped her carry the mugs into her small but cosy living room, and the two laughed and joked while they companionably sipped the steaming brew by the light of a single Tiffany lamp that stood on an end table. Their mood was mellow, but after a while Jason noticed a certain restlessness in his pretty companion. Setting his almost empty cup on the table, he reached out and took her hand in his.
"What's up, Kat? Is something bothering you?"
"No ... not really. I was just thinking ... oh, nothing. It's really silly. Forget it."
"Hey, you know you can tell me almost anything," he coaxed with an engaging smile.
Kat returned it with one of her own, blushing slightly.
"Well ... I was just thinking how much I'd love to dance right now."
"Dance?" he laughed. "Ballet? Sorry, but you got me into that once -- I'm not about to try it again! Talk about feeling silly!"
The blonde giggled at the memory of Adam and Jason clumsily trying to follow her instructions for the King Midas ballet back when they had all been in High School together.
"No, not that." She shot the former Gold Ranger a mock-teasing look from under her long lashes. "I'd be afraid for life and limb if I let you try it in here!"
"Hey!"
Kat grinned sassily, letting Jason fume for a few moments.
"The way I feel right now, I want to waltz ... or dance a rhumba ... something slow, and romantic ..." she then said with a wistful smile.
Jason considered her suddenly dreamy expression, then came to a decision. Jumping up from the couch, he quickly pushed the armchair to the wall and kicked the small rug out of the way. Then he stepped over to Kat's stereo and began flipping through the radio stations.
"What are you doing, Jase?" Kat asked, bewildered.
"Making your wish come true, milady," he grinned, having found an all-night station that played Golden Oldies. Bowing grandly, he pulled a by-now giggling Katherine to her feet.
"May I have this dance?"
"You’re totally insane, you know that?" Kat laughed, but stepped willingly into Jason’s arms.
The muscular young man shrugged.
"If I am, there’s method to my madness," he replied, misquoting Shakespeare. "I told you I was going to make it up to you that Tommy couldn’t come tonight."
He saw the shadow cross Kat’s face, and mentally cursed himself. However, before he could react, she had already chased it away again and smiled brightly at her friend.
"So you did. Well, shall we, then?"
"Sure."
As if on cue, a new slow melody started, and the two former Rangers began to circle around the tiny living room. They didn’t have much space, but it didn’t matter; they laughed and talked through a few songs, swaying softly to the strain of violins and tinkling pianos. They relaxed even more, content in each other’s company, and soon their words died down. Kat rested her forehead against Jason’s cheek and he drew her close against his chest, holding her firmly but gently as they moved in perfect synch.
The DJ announced another set of songs, but the two were so lost in their thoughts, caught up in the atmosphere, that they hardly noticed. Although it wasn’t really "their" kind of music, both were quite familiar with the tunes they heard -- after all, it was the kind of music their parents had danced to when they had been their age -- and Kat softly hummed along as Karen Carpenter’s mellow soprano filled the room.
"It’s only just begun ..."
When the song ended and the music segued into the next, Kat lifted her head from its resting place and met Jason’s dark eyes. The last note died on her lips as she saw his expression. Suddenly breathless, she looked at her friend as if she were seeing him for the first time. In a way, she did.
Later, neither could say who had made the first move, but betwen one heartbeat and the next, their lips were softly caressing each other, tasting and exploring until they melted into an achingly tender kiss that left both reeling. The silence between them was electrifying, and nothing existed anymore but the two of them. Blue eyes drowned in midnight-dark pools, and when Jason lowered his head again, Kat didn’t hesitate to meet him halfway. They were lost.
The next morning had been more than awkward, as they awoke in each other’s
arms. Thoughts of Tommy -- boyfriend and lover, and best friend -- chased
memories of a night filled with passion and tenderness away like thunderclouds
before a fresh gust of wind. Filled with embarrassment and a nearly
overwhelming sense of shame, hardly able to look at each other, Jason and Kat
agreed to forget about the night before as best and as fast as they could,
united in the conviction that Tommy must never know about their lapse. However,
their moment of madness would not stay forgotten -- just as things were
settling back to normal, and Tommy had finally announced his intention to cut
back on his racing and come home, to stay close to Angel Grove, the
consequences of their actions caught up with them.
With a deep, unhappy sigh, Kat wrenched her thoughts back to the present. She focussed on the dark-haired young man sitting opposite her, stirring his after-lunch coffee absentmindedly as he tried to deal with the bombshell she had just dropped into his lap.
"What are you going to do?" Jason finally asked, his low voice carefully devoid of emotion.
"I ... I’ll have to tell Tommy," Kat murmured shakily. Only the fact that Jason had grown noticeably pale under his tan enabled her to stay calm at all. Despite his outward control, to someone who knew him well it was obvious that he was deeply affected by what she’d told him.
"You don’t necessarily have to," he said, with even less expression.
"Excuse me? A pregnancy isn’t something you can hide indefinitely," Kat protested.
"It is if you ... do something ... about it soon enough," Jason replied. This time, a slight tremor shook his voice.
It took a few moments for Kat to catch his meaning.
"No!" she gasped, truly horrified. "Jason, you ... you’re not seriously suggesting I have an abortion, do you?"
"Of course not," he hastened to reassure Kat, breathing a silent sigh of relief. While her announcement had come as a total shock, he found the thought of her ... losing ... the baby -- his baby -- strangely disturbing. Unconsciously, he decided not to think about that right now. Their immediate problem was Tommy, and how he would take the news that his best friend had betrayed his trust with his girlfriend. And it had been a betrayal on their parts, of that there was no doubt, however unintentional and accidental it might have been.
Jason echoed Katherine’s earlier sigh. When they had been able to discuss their night of passion at all, they both had convinced each other that there was no secret attraction between them; their fault lay in giving in to the romantic atmosphere they had unwittingly created, in letting their mutual fondness for each other sweep them away without stopping to think about possible repercussions to their actions. They were Human, after all, and they’d made a mistake. Unfortunately, it was a mistake that couldn’t be just forgotten, because they had failed to think -- whether about protection, or about the young man they both cared about very much. No matter what would come out of this for either of them, they were unhappily aware that they already had hurt Tommy with their actions, and were about to hurt him even more with the inevitable confession.
"You ... you’re going to keep the baby, then?" he asked, too numb still with shock to think further than this right now.
"I don’t know yet," Kat sighed. "I’ll carry it to term, yes, but I don’t know yet if I will keep it – or if I even can. My job isn’t exactly well-suited to single parenthood, what with my erratic schedules, evening recitals and stuff, and I just can’t expect my parents to raise my child. They’re going to be retired in a few years, and it would be unfair to them to saddle them with an infant at this stage in their lives. Maybe putting it up for adoption will be the best thing. I ... I just don’t know yet."
She sipped listlessly at her by-now cold cappucchino. As the slightly bitter fluid trickled down her throat, Kat suddenly became aware that she probably shouldn’t be drinking coffee at all; the caffeine wasn’t good for the baby. She pushed the almost-empty cup away, the sudden clatter of porcelain on the table top bringing Jason’s eyes back to her face. She met the dark orbs with a wobbly smile that threatened to dissolve into tears. Impatiently, Kat dashed them away. She’d done enough crying as the home pregnancy test had confirmed her suspicions about her condition. However, there were decisions to be made – the first of which was when to tell Tommy. The "what" never entered the equation -- Kat knew without asking that Jason would agree with her that Tommy deserved nothing but complete honesty from now on – from both of them.
"When are you going to tell him?" Jason inquired, unconsciously mirroring her thoughts.
"As soon as possible." There was no sense in putting it off any longer than necessary.
"And what will you tell him?"
"Exactly what happened – that we never intended to do anything, that there is nothing between us ... that we just lost our heads that one time."
"It sounds pretty lame, when you put it like that," the young man remarked, running both hands through his short dark hair in a gesture of desperation.
"I know," Kat acknowledged hoarsely. "But what else can we tell him?"
"I wish I knew. Man, I can’t believe I did that! Tommy’s been my best friend for so long ..."
"This isn’t exactly easy for me, either," Kat said more sharply than she’d intended. Jason had the grace to blush.
"I’m sorry, Kat; I didn’t mean that the way it sounded," he apologized.
"I know," the former Pink Ranger said again. She swallowed hard.
"Jason, I ... I’m afraid."
Jason knew exactly what the former Pink Ranger was afraid of – because he shared her fears. Fear that Tommy would lose his occasionally formidable temper, fear that they’d both destroyed a relationship they’d worked long and hard for in their respective ways, fear that they’d driven someone very dear out of their lives forever, with no chance at forgiveness, or redemption ... He reached out and grasped her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as he’d done so often these past months. With his free hand, he smoothed an imaginary line from her temple down her cheek, brushing the soft skin with his fingertips. The gesture was soothingly familiar and came naturally to both, but neither noticed.
"You want me to come with you?" he offered, but Kat shook her head miserably. Drawing a deep breath, she managed a very shaky smile.
"Thanks, but no. I think I owe Tommy at least the chance of saying whatever he'll feel he has to say to me without an audience."
"You’re probably right," Jason conceded reluctantly. "Besides, I think ... I know he’ll have to say more than enough to me himself once he knows." It was a prospect he dreaded, but faced with determination -- to take every well-deserved word of censure without protest – if Tommy even wanted to speak to him ever again.
Kat sighed once more as she put enough money for her largely uneaten lunch
and coffee on the small table, watching Jason do the same. The two young people
made their way outside and parted company with heavy hearts, agreeing to talk
to each other once they’d both faced Tommy. Neither was looking forward to that
confrontation, and they knew they only had themselves to blame if the former
leader of the Rangers chose to vent his anger on them.
It was even worse than she’d anticipated. Once past the initial shock and incredulity, Tommy heard Kat out with an icy composure that was more unsettling than if he had shouted or flown into a fit of temper, something he was entirely capable of.
After Kat had finished her tale, she sat huddled miserably on the couch in the Oliver house – Tommy wasn’t home often enough to make it necessary yet to rent his own apartment – and tried to hide the tears that had gathered in her eyes and threatened to spill over.
It was a long time until Tommy could bring himself to speak with anything even remotely resembling calm. His normally warm voice was cold as ice as he finally addressed his longtime girlfriend.
"So what you’re saying is, this just ... just happened."
"Yes," Kat said hoarsely. "If we actually had fallen in love with each other ... which we haven’t ... we ... we never would have gone behind your back." She recoiled from the flash of rage briefly visible in the chocolate-brown eyes.
"How do I know that?" Tommy sneered, unable to control himself.
"For that matter, how do I know it was just this once? For all I know, you could have been screwing around behind my back for months, until you got sloppy and got yourself knocked up!" The crude language was totally uncharacteristic for Tommy, and Kat had to fight harder against her tears. She didn’t protest, though – it was nothing she hadn’t thrown at herself ever since she’d found out about the baby.
"Tommy, please believe me, neither Jason nor I ever wanted to hurt you," she said desperately. "We both care about you too much to ..." but almost as soon as the words left her mouth, she knew it had been the wrong thing to say.
"You have a very strange way of showing it, then. Why should I believe you, anyway? Give me one reason why I should," Tommy challenged her.
"I’ve never lied to you," the blonde answered with as much dignity as she could muster. She could already sense where this was leading, and her heart sank even further.
"No, you just betrayed me with someone I thought was my best friend, didn’t you?" Tommy said bitterly, letting his hurt briefly overshadow his anger. However, the softer emotion was gone almost as soon as it had appeared. He turned away from Kat to gaze out into the yard, trying to lose himself in the greenery and riot of plants in bloom. Kat had helped his mother plant most of them in the spring ... ruthlessly he shoved the memory away. The silence between the two longtime friends and lovers filled the room, hung there and lingered until it became almost unbearable to the young woman still sitting on the couch where she had spent so many hours cuddled in Tommy's arms. She hardly dared breathe, waiting for his next words, and still it came as something of a shock when Tommy spoke at last. His voice was deadly calm again, and betrayed nothing of his emotional turmoil.
"Get out."
"Wh--what?"
"You heard me. Get out, and don’t come back. I never want to see you again."
"Tommy ..." Kat tried, unable to believe what she’d heard. Deep down, she’d known what to expect, knowing Tommy as she did, but she’d been hoping against hope that he might be able to forgive her – not right away, but maybe in time ...
That hope died a quick and painful death as Tommy turned to face her with hard eyes. He didn’t say another word, just stood there, with his arms implacably crossed before his chest and his face white under his tan. Kat’s tears finally started to fall as she slowly got up and walked woodenly to the door, but she made no move to wipe them away. She swivelled around once more just before she left the sun-drenched room. It might as well have been the darkest night as far as Kat was concerned. Looking one last time at the man she’d fallen in love with almost at first sight nearly five years ago, whom she had watched grieve over the loss of another woman before he turned to her first for solace, then for affection and lastly for love, she knew that she’d never be with him like this again. Blinded by her tears, she choked out two words.
"I’m sorry ...."
When no reaction was forthcoming, Kat turned away again and made her way outside to her small car. She was so wrapped up in her guilt and misery that she never heard Tommy’s last whispered words as he watched the blonde Australian drive out of his life.
"So am I, Kat. So am I."
During the next few days, Katherine buried herself in her apartment, barely managing to teach her classes. She was tempted to call in sick, but realistically told herself that with a baby on the way, she couldn’t afford to, no matter if she ultimately decided to keep the child or not. Sighing, Kat dragged herself to work and back, fielding questions about her shadowed eyes and pallor with a fib about having caught a persistent flu bug. The sympathy of her coworkers and students made her feel even worse; it wasn’t a very big lie as such, but somehow it only added to her feelings of dishonesty.
It was early evening on the third day after her breakup with Tommy as the doorbell rang. Kat opened the door listlessly, but her eyes widened in momentary shock as she saw Jason standing there, looking as miserable as she felt, but with a painful-looking bruise on his left cheekbone. Reaching out, she pulled him inside, into the living room.
"Oh God, Jason, what happened?" Kat watched him sink onto the couch with a pained sigh. His movements were stiff and slow, as if he were hurt.
"Tommy," he sighed, unable to look at the young woman.
"H-he hit you?" Her shock was apparent in her voice; it was normally very unlike Tommy to lash out in anger. *These are hardly "normal" circumstances, though!* The thought came unbidden, with a fresh rush of guilt.
"Yeah," Jason confirmed. "I ... I expected him to be angry, and hurt, when he confronted me at the dojo earlier, and I was prepared to take any blame he wanted to place; I understood that right from the outset. But it still didn’t give him the right to call you some of the names he did. I ... I took exception to that, and things kind of went downhill from there." He tried to make light of it, but in spite of her own misery, Kat could see how strongly Jason was affected by what had happened between him and Tommy.
"Oh Jason ..." Kat didn’t know what to say. She was still grieving for her lost relationship with Tommy, but something inside of her melted slightly at the thought of Jason taking the brunt of Tommy’s anger like this, defending her -- who was just as much to blame ... She sank down next to him and gently touched his discolored cheek. Their eyes met briefly, and without having to ask, Kat just knew that Jason hadn’t fought back, hadn’t retaliated at Tommy’s attack.
"I’m sorry."
"Me, too."
Their words were inadequate, but what else was there to say? Both knew that Tommy had shut them out of his life -- maybe forever. There was a slim chance that he might forgive them in time, but Jason and Kat were aware that things could never go back to the way they had been. They sat next to each other in silence, not touching, for a long, long time, while the evening shadows lengthened outside, chasing another warm California summer day into the night.
"What are we going to do now?" Jason finally asked into the stillness.
Kat sighed. She was gratified in some way that Jason had said "we", not "you", accepting responsibility for his part in this whole mess, but then, that was his way.
"I ... I guess we’ll have to tell our folks next. I mean, they have the right to know as soon as possible, don’t they?"
"Yeah."
That was another conversation neither one was looking forward to. Both former Rangers knew that they would sadden and disappoint their parents for having been irresponsible, in more than just the obvious way. However, Jason had given the matter some thought, especially after his confrontation with Tommy, and it was one of the reasons he had come to see Katherine right away. He reached out and took both her hands in his, waiting until she hesitantly met his eyes.
"Kat ... I’ve been thinking about this. About the baby, and about us. I ... I know this is not the ideal time, but since you said you were going to go through with the pregnancy ...." He drew a deep breath; this was proving to be more difficult than he’d thought. "Kat, I know it’s ultimately your decision, but I don’t want you to give the baby up for adoption."
"I may not have another choice, Jason," Kat murmured. She had some misgivings about that herself, especially since Tommy had often told her about what it felt like to be adopted, never really knowing where he came from, or what his biological family had been like. Meeting David had been a stroke of luck for him that wasn’t given to every adoptee, and if she was totally honest with herself, she didn’t exactly relish the thought of maybe never knowing what became of her child, either.
"I can’t afford to take more time off from work than absolutely necessary around my due date, and even so I’ll have to start saving for the hospital and prenatal care soon. I haven’t been working long enough for anything else, and it's only seven months 'til March ... "
"That’s what I thought. Kat, I ...." He ran both hands through his short dark hair, then took her right hand once more. "Oh dammit, there’s no easy way to say this! This may be totally out of left field, but ... Kat, what I’m getting at is ... will you marry me?"
"Wh-what?!?"
The blonde was totally dumbfounded. She had expected an offer of financial aid past child support, but never in her wildest dreams had Kat thought to get a marriage proposal! She stared at the young man next to her, eyes wide with shock.
"But Jason, I ... I don’t love you!" It was the first thing that came to her mind; maybe not very diplomatic, but very much the truth. Still, she blushed with embarrassment as she realized how it must have sounded.
"I know," Jason replied quietly, a slight, sad smile playing around his mouth. He gently stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. "But Kat, we’ve been friends for a long time, right? And I think I can say for both of us that we like and respect each other -- don’t we?" He waited for her confirming nod.
"Yes, but that’s no basis for marriage!" Kat’s protest was automatic, but it sounded far less sure than she wanted it to. Desperately gathering her whirling thoughts, she withdrew her hand from Jason’s grasp and got up, to pace around her tiny living room like a caged tigress. Finally, when she felt she had herself under control again, she turned to face Jason once more. His face was illuminated by the setting sun, making his eyes seem even darker than usual. Unbidden, an image appeared before Kat’s mind’s eye, of how bright they had seemed during their night of madness, just before he’d claimed her, but she deliberately and quickly chased it away again. She didn’t want to think of that night! Rallying, she inhaled deeply.
"Jason, why? Why would you want to marry me at all? Don’t tell me you’ve suddenly decided that you’re madly in love with me!"
"No, I won’t," Jason answered. "If I were, it would make the reason why this happened at all a lot easier. Losing control like we did ..." He shrugged helplessly. Even after all these weeks, they both were still at a loss to explain what had come over them that night, overwhelming them both. At least one of them should have been able to retain some shred of sanity.
"I wouldn’t want to insult your intelligence by pretending to feel something I don‘t," Jason continued. "But Kat ... the more I think about it, the more I realize that I want the baby -- our baby. I want to be a part of its life, to see it grow up ... not just pay child support."
"If I decide to raise the baby myself, I’d give you visitation rights, of course ..." Kat said weakly. She felt rather overwhelmed by this turn of events. Here she was, still pining for Tommy, trying to work up the courage to tell her parents she was pregnant at all, and Jason was already talking about raising the baby! With her! A sudden rush of fear gripped her. She wasn't ready to be a mother yet!
"That’s not going to be enough for me. I ... I never thought I’d say or feel like this, at least not for years, but ... I want to be a father to our baby, Kat. I can’t stand the thought of it growing up somewhere with complete strangers, and I’d never know what was happening to it." The former Gold Ranger got up as well. Stepping up to his erstwhile teammate, he once more reached for her hands. Looking earnestly into the blue eyes, Jason tried to convince Kat of the seriousness of his intentions.
"Katherine, please? Will you at least think about it?"
"I ... I just don’t know, Jase," the blonde said, her head whirling. Without thinking, she blurted out, "What will Tommy think?"
Kat flinched at her own words as soon as she uttered them; she knew she was grasping for straws, hoping for Tommy's forgiveness. Right now there was nothing less likely to happen. A covert glance into Jason’s eyes confirmed that, and it brought a fresh surge of misery. However, when Kat tried to look away, Jason cupped her cheek in a very gentle, almost tender gesture.
"I'm sorry, Kat, but I don't think that's relevant anymore." She tried to lower her head guiltily, but Jason wouldn't let her. "Kat ... if Tommy forgives you, or if you ever meet someone else you feel you can love ... I promise I’ll let you go. Only, I want a legal right to the baby; I don’t want to have to fight with you or anyone else to be a part of its life. The easiest way to ensure that is if I’m on record as the baby’s father – both biologically and legally, as your husband at the time of its birth." Jason inhaled deeply. He just had to make Kat see the sense in his suggestion, he had to!
"Besides ... we may have come a long way recently, but it’ll also be easier for you if you were married. People still talk about unwed mothers, and if the kid should one day ask about his or her dad, it’ll be easier for you to explain we’ve separated – if we have – than come up with a story that explains the truth in a way a kid can understand and not be hurt."
His arguments were convincing – more than that, really. Kat knew that all too well. Being in a teaching profession, she had to be more circumspect than most others. So did Jason, actually. In addition, it would certainly smooth the way with their folks if they were to 'correct' their mistake by getting married. She looked at Jason for a long time, searching his dark eyes for she knew not what. Reading only sincerity and understanding in them, Kat felt herself weakening. Another thought occurred to her.
"Do we have to tell our parents the truth?"
Jason met her eyes consideringly. That was something that had crossed his mind as well.
"What else should we tell them?"
"I don’t know," Kat said, having to choke back a sob. "I ... I don’t want to lie to them, but they’ll be so disappointed if they knew what happened ..."
"Yeah," her companion agreed heavily. He turned away to stare out of the window for a long moment. Coming to a decision, he faced Kat once more. "I guess we could tell them something along the line that having spent so much time together lately ... we sort of fell in love. We don’t have to be very explicit about it or anything, just pretend enough affection so they don’t ask too many questions."
"It would also explain why Tommy won’t be there, right?" Kat said somewhat bitterly. "He’d be so hurt that I left him just like Kim, that he wouldn’t want to come to my wedding."
"Kat..." Jason’s low voice clearly mirrored the anguish Kat was feeling herself, and it made her ashamed. Wearily, she sat down again on the couch. Looking at her hands twisted in her lap, she tried to think it through. If she accepted Jason’s proposal, it would solve a number of problems quite neatly. But wasn’t it terribly selfish of her? She lifted her head as he sat down next to her, touching her cheek almost tenderly once more.
"Katherine, I’m not asking for more than you’re willing to give. You have my word that I won’t try to make you do anything you’re uncomfortable with, but this seems to be the best solution for us all right now. For you, for me ... and the baby. Please – at least think about it?" Jason’s voice was hopeful, and warm. Kat knew she could trust him, had known it ever since she’d met him when they had both been Rangers. Suddenly tired of being independent and alone, Kat gave in to her mental and physical exhaustion (she shied away from calling it fear, but it would have been far closer to the truth) with a sigh.
"Okay."
"What?"
She sighed again. "Yes, I’ll marry you. For the baby’s sake," she added, instinctively touching her still-flat stomach. When no answer was immediately forthcoming, Kat hesitantly met Jason’s eyes. The relief and delight in them coaxed a reluctant smile from her, but he only stroked her face gently once more.
"You won’t regret this, Kat. I promise to give this my best shot." He swallowed. "Thank you."
"No, thank you," she murmured, feeling as if life as she
knew it had just come to an end.
Things moved with frightening speed after that. They jointly told their families at dinner one night that they were getting married; to Kat and Jason's relief, both sets of parents seemed to accept their explanation at face value, although Jason caught a few looks from his mother that made him doubt his folks' equanimity. When Doris Hillard voiced her concern about the form their wedding was going to take, though, and got insistent about wanting to know why Kat declined to have the big wedding she wanted to give her daughter, with all their friends and family in attendance, Jason exchanged a rueful look with his fiancée. Receiving a tiny nod, he gave the reason for their decision they'd agreed on earlier in the week.
"Mrs. Hillard ... it's not that we wouldn't like to have a traditional ceremony, but this is not exactly a good time for us."
"But why? It's almost August already, and a winter wedding has a certain charm ... I'm sure Helen and I could arrange everything for around Christmas, or maybe New Year's Eve. You could start the year as newlyweds ..." the older woman's Australian-accented voice, so like her daughter's, trailed off as she noticed the blush spreading over Kat's face and her automatic gesture of placing her hand on her abdomen. Helen Scott noticed, too, and inhaled sharply, searching her son's dark eyes. It was Kat, though, who gathered her courage and faced her parents.
"Mum ... Dad, we really can't wait that long. I ... I'm going to have a baby."
The silence around the table was deafening for a moment, then Robert Hillard looked accusingly at his daughter's fiancé. Before he could give voice to his sudden anger, though, his wife exclaimed in mingled shock and delight, "Oh my God, sweetheart, is that true?"
Kat nodded mutely, grateful for Jason's hand on her forearm, lending support. As the two mothers joined forces almost immediately in questioning Kat about her condition, she had to fight her tears again, but slowly a small measure of joy began to fill her at the thought that at least her baby's grandmothers were looking forward to its arrival.
Listening with half an ear to the women, Jason met his father's sad, disappointed look with a weak smile, then turned towards his future father-in-law. Forestalling the upset man, he was very pale but determined to be polite and civil as he softly admitted at least part of the truth.
"I'm truly sorry, sir. I never meant to do that to Kat, but ..." Jason shrugged, his helplessness not totally feigned. "We ... we both got carried away one time, and I give you my word I'll do my best to make it up to her. Kat means too much to me for anything else." It wasn't exactly a lie, but the young man was all too aware that it also wasn't completely true. He swallowed hard. How best to save the situation, before they got hopelessly tangled in a web of lies and deceit? Neither Jason nor Kat were very good at dissimilation, the necessity of keeping their former Ranger activities secret notwithstanding. An idea slowly began to form. Giving Kat's hand a warning squeeze, Jason put on his best smile.
"I ... we've been thinking of having a small, private ceremony at City Hall now, and maybe have a Church wedding later, after the baby's born ..." Kat looked startled for a second; they had never talked about this, but in the face of her mother's instant approval, she swallowed her instinctive protest.
"That's not a bad idea at all, isn't it, Helen? Robert? We wouldn't have to rush things, and your first anniversary, say, would be a perfect time. In fact, we could combine it with the christening. Of course you wouldn't be able to wear white, sweetie, but a pale pink or cream might work just as well ..."
The young woman let herself be carried away by her mother's enthusiasm, glad that the ordeal of confessing was over, and all things considered, it hadn't gone that badly, after all. Unconsciously clinging to Jason's warm hand around her fingers, Kat tentatively made a few comments of her own to her mother's plans, while the men listened indulgently and began to talk about more practical considerations, like finding a new, bigger apartment for the soon-to-be young family.
Finally, the evening came to an end. Leaving their families behind, Kat's face ached from holding a smile all night as Jason took her home; she'd never felt more like crying, but it was way too late for tears now. As she fumbled for her doorkeys and unlocked the door to her apartment, Jason followed her inside. The two stood facing each other a bit awkwardly; they hadn't been alone with each other in private since Jason's proposal. At last, Kat cleared her throat.
"Thank you for your suggestion about a later ceremony," she murmured softly, not knowing what else to say to her friend and future husband.
"I'm sorry to have sprung that on you like this," Jason apologized. "It was the only thing I could come up with then that didn't sound completely fake."
"No, it's fine; it makes sense, even. Besides, a year is a long time; a lot can happen between now and then. Maybe Mum will forget about it in time."
"Yeah." The two looked at each other in silence, neither exactly comfortable. Then, Jason took Kat gently by her shoulders and pulled her close, deliberately ignoring the slight stiffening in her posture although it sent a small, rueful smile across his face.
"Kat, are you really okay with this? I don't want to pressure you into anything. If you have any doubts ..."
"I have plenty of doubts," she admitted, relaxing somewhat at last. "I’m pregnant when I’m not yet ready for a child, I don’t love you -- not like that, anyway -- and still I'm marrying you, for a lot of very wrong reasons, in four weeks at City Hall, when all I've dreamed about for years is to get married in a long white dress and veil, in Church, and to Tommy." Before Jason could say anything, she apologized for her bluntness with a weary smile, which held a touch of bitterness she couldn't quite hide. "I know it's the sensible solution, and now that I've gotten kind of used to the idea of having your baby, I'm glad you're going to be with me; I would have hated to give it away after all," Kat confessed softly. "But I can't help but wish ..." her softly-accented voice trailed off as tears threatened anew. Her doctor had told her that her weepiness was probably due to her changing hormone levels, but it was pretty annoying, nonetheless. And extremely unfair to and uncomfortable for Jason, who drew her gently into his arms.
"I understand, Kat," he murmured, stroking her back soothingly as he rested his cheek against her pale-gold hair. "I've always thought Tommy would stand up with me at my wedding. That's not going to happen, either."
Both sighed, for a moment mourning their shattered dreams. Then, Kat disengaged herself from the too-comfortable embrace. Guiltily she remembered that this was exactly the kind of situation that had led to their current predicament. Blushing slightly, she met Jason's eyes and saw that he shared her memories. Separating with less haste than Kat had intended, she felt momentarily bereft of warmth and security as Jason stepped back.
"I guess we're both losing something, then," she whispered sadly.
"Yes – but at the same time, I keep telling myself that we're also gaining something new. Our baby," he clarified as she looked at him uncomprehendingly. In a gesture that was startlingly intimate despite its innocence, he placed a large hand on her still-flat stomach. Warmth spread through her body at the gentle contact, and Kat smiled genuinely for the first time that evening.
"That's true," she agreed, covering Jason's hand with her own. The
two stood like that for a long time before saying goodnight, comforted by the
fact that if nothing else, they still had their friendship to lean on.
On August 24, their wedding day, Kat and Jason met with their parents at City Hall. Having refused most of the traditional trappings, Kat was dressed in a flowing, tea-length summer dress in off-white, her hair put up in a simple French twist. The only splash of color was the small bouquet of flowers in various shades of pink Jason had given her. A few trailing white ribbons made it bridal, but Kat couldn't help but notice there were no roses in it – the flower signifying love was conspicuous by its absence. Refusing to dwell on this, she looked her bridegroom over instead – the black suit wasn't new; Kat remembered it from Lt. Stone's Mystery Dinner all those years ago. It didn't matter though, since it was a classic cut, and it looked good with the dark red and silver–patterned tie Jason had chosen to wear with it. He reached out and took her ice-cold hand in his, raising it gently to his lips.
"Ready?" he asked, as pale as she, but smiling comfortingly.
"Yes," Kat replied, summoning a tremulous smile. Their parents at their side, the two former Rangers made their way hand in hand to the Judge's chambers.
"... and by the powers vested in me by the State of California, I now declare you husband and wife," the middle-aged woman intoned solemnly. The older Scotts and the Hillards watched misty-eyed as Jason slipped a plain gold wedding band on Kat's hand, an heirloom from his great-grandmother. Kat blushed; she had purchased a matching ring a couple of days after they'd gone to have the antique fitted, and she was unsure if Jason would want to wear a ring at all, but his hand was steady as she slid the metal band on. The rush of color to her cheeks made her look more like a happy bride, and Jason's slight nod and smile told her he understood and appreciated the gesture. Regarding the serious-faced young man and his lovely blonde bride, Judge Myers smiled encouragingly.
"This may not be a church, but it's still quite acceptable to kiss your wife, Mr Scott," she said.
Kat froze; she had not thought past the exchange of rings and vows, and for an instant, everything within her screamed out in protest that this was wrong, that Jason was not the man who was supposed to stand at her side right now, but his best friend. She raised panic-stricken eyes to her brand-new husband, and the fleeting look of pain in the dark eyes told her that Jason knew all too well what was going through her mind right now. It brought sanity back. Whatever else they were going to be to each other from now on, they were still friends, and Kat had vowed not to hurt any of her friends anymore if she could help it. Forcing a smile and enthusiasm she was far from feeling, Kat raised her face slightly, signalling Jason with a glance that it was all right for him to kiss her. He accepted the mute invitation with another understanding smile, and lowered his lips gently to hers.
Kissing Jason was sweeter than she remembered; Kat felt her senses reeling slightly as he caressed her mouth with his own, coaxing a response.It was the first time they kissed after their night of passion, but right at this moment, all guilt fled; instead, the newlyweds rediscovered briefly the magic of that first moment in Kat's apartment as their lips touched.
It was over far too soon, or maybe not soon enough; when Jason finally released her, Kat buried her face in his broad shoulder and let him hold her trembling body tightly. To the watching older generation, it was a reassuring sign of deep affection and shyness; they knew nothing of the pain their children were feeling in that instant. After a while, Jason cupped Kat's face in both palms and lifted it from his shoulder. Brushing his mouth once more briefly over the rosy-pale quivering lips, he asked Kat softly, so that only she would hear, "Are you okay?"
She wasn't, not really, but she nodded anyway, smiling through a few tears that trickled down her smooth cheek. Jason brushed them away with his thumbs, but before he could say anything else, Kat was whisked away into her mother's teary embrace, followed almost immediately by his own mother. He drew a deep, shuddering breath, then squared his shoulders and faced Robert Hillard and his father. John Scott embraced his only son briefly. "Congratulations, Son. Kat is a wonderful girl, and I hope and pray you'll be very happy together."
"Thanks, Dad," Jason managed to choke out, touched by his father's sentiment. The normally ebullient man wasn't often given to public displays of affection, but in this instant, he showed his son how much he meant to him. Then, he faced his father-in-law once more. Jason had had a long and deep discussion with the older man, who was naturally concerned because of Kat's unplanned pregnancy, but Jason was reasonably sure that he'd succeeded in allaying most of Mr Hillard's fears. His dojo was doing well, he had almost paid off most of the loans already, and even if Kat decided to stay home with the baby for a while, their financial future was fairly secure. They wouldn't be able to afford any big luxuries for some time, but they wouldn't lack for anything important, either.
Robert looked long and hard into Jason's dark eyes. While he still hadn't quite forgiven the young man for getting his only daughter pregnant out of wedlock, he respected the way he accepted his responsibilities, and was beginning to like Jason for himself. They'd rarely met before, but his quieter, more serious nature appealed to the native Australian better than the more flamboyant Tommy Oliver had, and inwardly he resolved to do everything in his power to support this marriage.
"You have my blessing as well, Jason," was all he said out loud, however. "I only ask that you take good care of my little girl. She's something special, even if I do say so myself."
"I know, and thank you, sir. That means a lot to me. And I promise you I'll do my best for Kat and our baby."
"I know you will. Welcome to my family," and with that, Robert also briefly hugged Jason. Kat watched the exchange from between her mother and Helen Scott, who patted her arm softly. When Kat turned to look at the older woman, she received a friendly nod and hug.
"I hope you'll also start to feel part of our family, too, Katherine," Helen smiled warmly. "I've always wanted a daughter, and I hope that in time, you'll become the one I never had."
"I'll try," was all Kat could force past her constricted throat,
and she was grateful as they could leave Judge Myers' office for a celebratory
lunch at one of Angel Grove's better restaurants.
At long last, the day that was supposed to have been the happiest of their lives was over. Kat and Jason found themselves back at the tiny apartment once more, with its vista over the park. Their new home would be ready by October 15, and until then, they'd decided to stay at Kat's place, since it was slightly bigger and more conveniently situated than Jason's bachelor pad.
Kat wearily hung up her dress and changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. It was too warm for anything else, and she needed to feel comfortable – at least physically. Mentally ... that was another matter, one she didn't want to linger on. She stayed in her bedroom for as long as she dared, desperately trying to forget that from tonight she would be sharing it with Jason. It wasn't that the memory of their lovemaking was unpleasant; quite the contrary, actually, and the young woman refused to acknowledge that it was precisely that fact that was a big part of the reason for her discomfort.
*I still love Tommy, and I always will,* Kat thought to herself a bit defiantly. *Jason doesn't love me, either; he's only done the honorable thing by marrying me because of the baby. And I don't want to raise it alone, or give it away. That's all. Jason and I are friends, and there's nothing more between us.*
The thought beat like a litany in her mind as she finally reentered the living room. Jason -- her husband; God, it was going to take time to get used to that notion! -- was standing at the window, looking outside. He'd shed his jacket and tie, and his back looked impossibly broad in his white dress shirt. When he heard Kat's soft footfall, he turned around and essayed a smile. For a second, Kat was struck by the fact that he looked as handsome in white as Tommy ever had, but she chased the thought impatiently away. She had to stop comparing the two men, or she’d drive herself insane. *Easier said than done, though!* Instead, she focussed on something that she had noticed the other day – a slight shadow in Jason’s eyes that hadn't been there before, a worried frown he hadn't been able to hide and that she was pretty sure had nothing to do with them.
"What is it, Jason?" she asked softly. "Are you having problems?"
"No, nothing," he tried to reassure Kat, but knew he hadn't been able to hide his slight flinch. The look Kat gave him told him she'd seen, and her next words confirmed it.
"Don't give me that; I know you better than to believe that." She smiled to take the sting out of her voice. "Jase, whatever else we are now, we're friends, and have been for a long time. You told me that that wouldn't change, and I don't want it to, either. Friends help each other, even if it's only by listening. I know you've been ... preoccupied for the last few days. Won't you share your problem with me? I am your wife now," she added gently, coming to stand next to him.
For a moment, Jason was tempted to deny it, but if their marriage should have any chance at succeeding at all, they both would need to trust the other, and to share things, even if they were disturbing. He drew a deep breath, knowing that what he was going to tell her would hurt Kat. But there was no way she wasn't going to find out sooner or later, and it would be better if she were prepared.
"I ... I had a visit from Rocky on Monday," he admitted quietly. "He ... apparently, Tommy talked to him, and Rocky is siding with him. He was very ... upset, wouldn't listen to me at all, and ..."
"Oh Jason, no ..." Kat nearly moaned. She knew that there was a lot Jason wasn't telling her beyond the bare facts, but she knew both men well enough to realize the confrontation had to have been very unpleasant. Rocky's temper, his fierce loyalty to Tommy and the never quite resolved jealousy he'd been feeling towards Jason when he'd rejoined the team way back when made for a potentially explosive combination. "Please tell me you didn't come to blows ..."
Jason smiled grimly, astonished and gratified that Kat could read the situation so well. He reassuringly touched her cheek.
"No, we didn't. I may have taken that kind of reaction from Tommy – after all, he had the right to be furious with me – but not from Rocky, or anyone else. What happened, happened, and we're dealing with it as best we can. It's only ... I had hoped he'd at least listen to our side, but when he wouldn't ... I'm afraid we won't be seeing a lot of him anymore." He snorted lightly, a sound that conveyed anger, but also a deep disappointment. "He said, and I quote, that outside of business, he didn't want to have anything to do with us traitors. End quote. Then he stomped off."
Kat slumped and sighed. She'd written to Tanya, her best friend, a while ago that she was going to marry Jason and why, but hadn't heard from her or Adam since. True, they could be out of town on business, but still ... "Do you think they'll all react like that?" she asked sadly.
"I don't know, Kat, but I think we should be prepared for the possibility," Jason replied. "Maybe one or the other will come around in time, but I wouldn't want you to get your hopes up anytime soon." He gathered her comfortingly in his arms. Looking earnestly into the blue eyes that had lost so much of their sparkle over the last two-and-a-half months, he spoke what was in his heart.
"I'm truly sorry, Kat. If I'd been able to control myself that night ... if I had at least thought to protect you ..."
Before he could go on, Kat interrupted her husband. They'd avoided really talking about that night before, but maybe it was time they stopped doing so. Suddenly angry, she whirled away from him.
"Don't you dare try to take all the blame, Jason Scott! If I remember correctly, there were two of us in this room that night, and I could have stopped you anytime. I still have no idea why I didn't, but I'm just as guilty of not thinking as you are! We made a mistake, and now have to live with it; I'm miserable enough without having to contend with your overdeveloped guilt muscle, as well!" Tears threatened again, and Kat dashed them impatiently away. She was getting sick and tired of being so emotional, but couldn't help herself. All the day's turmoil suddenly crashed in on her, and her angry flush suddenly made way for an exhausted pallor. She drew a few deep, calming breaths and looked wearily back at Jason.
"I'm sorry, but I can't take this anymore. If this is the way our 'friends' are going to handle our situation, I'm not sure I want them to come around. I'm ... we're having enough problems as it is, and if we're left alone, we'll deal with that, too."
Her words were full of bravado, but just as Kat had seen through his attempt at sparing her earlier, Jason could read her sadness and disappointment now. After all, they mirrored his own feelings too closely. It wasn't that he'd expected instant acceptance from their friends, but he'd hoped for understanding, at least. Apparently, it wasn't going to happen; none of the "old" crowd he’d written to had responded to their wedding announcement. He could understand that Kim wouldn't reply, given that she still was very protective of Tommy despite their breakup, but Jason had thought that at least Trini, or Zack, would have reacted in some way. That they hadn't ... hurt. A lot. What was really surprising, though, was Tanya's silence ... the former Yellow Ranger was too direct and outspoken to let things lie, and to be honest, Jason had expected her to call, or even show up, demanding an explanation. Besides, Tanya was supposed to be Kat’s best friend! That she, of all people, wouldn't give Kat at least some support was ... crushing. How much worse must it be for Kat?His protective instincts were kicking in full force, and Jason knew he hadn't been lying when he'd told Robert Hillard Kat meant a lot to him. She did, had for a long time, and Jason determined anew that he'd do everything in his power to not let her regret her decision to marry him – not only for their child, but also for themselves.
"I'm sure we will, kitten," Jason murmured, using the endearment for the first time. It brought a tiny smile to Kat's pale face, but it was gone almost as soon as it had appeared. There wasn't much more to be said, and the newlyweds busied themselves with looking through the few cards and presents they'd received from neighbors and colleagues. They made a half-hearted attempt at eating a light snack, but neither had much of an appetite; at the earliest possible moment, Kat declared her intention of going to bed.
There was an awkward silence following her announcement; the small apartment didn't have a guest room, and they'd both shied away from addressing the problem of sleeping arrangements. Now, however, it suddenly stared them in the face. Jason rallied first. His expression and voice unreadable, he made the only offer he felt he could.
"I'll stay here on the couch," he said. "It'll do until we move."
Kat was very much tempted to accept this out, but reason told her that her two-and-a-half seater wasn't going to be very comfortable for the broad-shouldered, massively-muscled Jason, and she herself had found out during a recent afternoon nap that her pregnancy, although still in its early stages, made her back extremely sensitive to inadequate mattresses. Steeling herself -- *We're married, after all; better get used to this* -- she summoned a brave smile and shook her head.
"No need. You ... you can share the bed with me ..."
The hot blush suffusing her cheeks was really quite ridiculous, considering the fact that Kat was already carrying Jason's child because he had once 'shared her bed' already, but she couldn't help herself. Thankfully, Jason chose to ignore her embarrassment, just smiled a little and gravely thanked her for the consideration. Hurrying through their preparations, both tried not to dwell on the awkwardness of undressing before each other, or slipping under the covers together, but it was hard on both of them. Once the lights were out, Kat lay on her side huddled away from her husband, attempting to stifle the unhappy sobs that would no longer be suppressed. She stiffened in alarm as she heard Jason sigh beside her, then reach out and draw her into his arms. She resisted at first, but it felt so good to be held, to be able to lean on someone, that she soon relaxed. Nestled aganst his broad, t-shirt-clad chest, Kat felt him stroke her back soothingly.
"Go ahead and cry if you need to, kitten; let it out. You certainly have reason enough. It's not good for you or the baby if you try to hold it all in," he rumbled softly. Kat fought for composure for another moment, but then she let the tears flow, crying out her loss and pain and anger in Jason's embrace while he continued to hold her through her emotional storm. When her tears finally subsided, fatigue set in almost immediately, and giving in to her exhaustion, Kat closed her swollen, burning eyes, unconsciously tightened her hold on Jason's waist and let sleep claim her, her last thought being how surprisingly nice it was to be feeling Jason's lips in her hair.
~*~
"Tom, are you ready to go?"
His uncle's voice drew Tommy out of his thoughts with a start. He shook himself and focussed on the hustle and bustle in the pit, taking in the mechanics fiddling with last-minute adjustments to his car, placing the tires in readiness, filling the tank ... while this wasn't exactly Formula One racing, a lot of the preparations were the same, and executed with the same kind of attention to detail. While Tommy took care to be involved with his car and general maintenance as much as possible, right now there wasn't much he could do. It was best left in his pit crew's hands.
"Yeah, Uncle John," was all he said, however. His whole family knew by now that Kat had left him, and while the open (and sometimes not-so-open) displays of sympathy and support were gratifying and soothed his anger and wounded pride, right now he didn't want any of that. The other night, he'd overheard his parents talk, and from snippets of their conversation he'd gleaned that Jason and Kat had gotten married last weekend. The rush of emotion he'd experienced held equal amounts of rage and pain, and it was all he could do to concentrate on his job.
"Now listen, Tommy," John Rush took his nephew aside for a moment. "You're sixth; as a starting position it's not too bad. You probably don't have a chance against Jackson and diBarello, but give it your best shot anyway, you hear? You should be able to drive into the points ranks today." Tommy nodded absently, his mind miles away. *How could Jase and Kat do that to me?* It was the one question plaguing him ever since their confessions.
"Tommy!" His uncle's sharp exclamation brought him back to the here and now with a jerk. Shaking his head in exasperation, the older man placed a hand on his shoulder. "Tommy, I know you're hurting over Kat, but it's over. Live with it. This may sound harsh, but it's the truth." A siren gave the drivers the last warning. Both men sighed. "Look, we'll talk about this later if you want to, but right now you have a job to do. Go out there and show them what you can do. Okay?"
"Okay, Uncle John." From somewhere, Tommy dredged up a smile. He knew John was right, there was nothing he could say, or do, to change things, that would miraculously turn back the clock to that weekend after Memorial Day. Why had he decided to stand Kat up? The crew could've handled the problem on their own, without his supervision. The truth was, he'd been bored at the prospect of sitting through a ballet performance, but he couldn't very well have told his girlfriend that, could he? Still, that was no reason why Jason and Kat did what they'd done. Tommy shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind of the onslaught of emotion. His family and friends all meant well, but .... how could they know what he was going through? How, if he didn't know himself what he was feeling?
Closing the zipper on his overalls, he collected his helmet and climbed into his blazing red car. Strapping himself into the shoulder harness, Tommy jammed the helmet over his long locks, adjusted his throat mike and slipped on his driving gloves. Drawing a deep, centering breath, he started the engine and slowly rolled to his position in the starting line-up. He'd qualified sixth overall in the trials; a respectable position, if not a great one. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a blue-green car slide in to his left. Acknowledging his Uncle's last-minute instructions over the headset with curt one-syllable comments, the former Ranger tapped into his martial-arts training to focus, but for some reason it was more difficult than at other times. He was tense, and his stomach churned; Tommy knew he hadn't felt this bad, this nervous since his very first race. Briefly, he wondered why that should be so, and immediately wished he hadn't. For just as the starting flag went down and he gunned the engine, images from the past began to flash before his mind's eye.
"Dammit! Not now!"
He didn't need this; wrenching his thoughts back onto the track with an effort, Tommy zipped through between two cars and approached the first curve. While part of his mind automatically catalogued the passing scenery, the spectator's stands, the pits, the commentator's booth, and his body worked the controls almost as if on autopilot, he leaned into the long leftward swing, and very much against his will, he started to remember ...
*The first time he saw Kat at the Youth Center and she asked him so prettily to fix her sports car; while he'd been happy with Kim at the time, Kat's blonde loveliness hadn't gone unnoticed by him. How she'd clung to him in apparent terror as Rita abducted them!
Kat's sympathy and concern after Kim's letter; he'd known by then that she was interested in him, but never made a move, respecting his promises of fidelity to Kim.
Their class project -- playing at being married. It was the first time he'd had the chance to talk with Kat, quietly, at length and in private, and had discovered so many new and intriguing things about her -- not the least of which was her gentleness and sweetness in dealing with the toddler they were guarding.
Jason's return from Switzerland; he'd been a bit worried about how the rest of the team would accept him, but it had been Kat who had smoothed the waters for his, Tommy's, sake -- she knew how much his best friend meant to him. By reminding the others how she had come to be a Ranger, it was easy for them to get over the disappointment of losing Billy's last chance at taking up the Power again permanently and accepting Jason in his stead.*
Another car, this one black with yellow stripes, swerved before Tommy. Instinctively, he jerked the steering wheel around, caught the fishtailing rear expertly and sped past, hoping that concentrating on the job at hand would make the flow of memories stop. He had no such luck. Swallowing hard, he pressed his right foot once more on the accelerator. More images appeared while he made yet another turn around the track.
*Jason and Kat in Gasket's arena, staring down the muzzle of his drawn blaster as first Kat, then Jason demorphed, trusting him and his feelings for his friends not to kill them. The others powered down as well, and he got his mind back, but he'd always known that it had been those blue and almost-black eyes which had drawn him back from the brink of near-madness.
Jason losing the Gold Powers, that oh-so-painful reminder of his own final times as the Green Ranger; Kat's support through all of this as their relationship slowly deepened from friendship into romance. Their first kiss had been sweet and gentle, putting the first healing layers over his still-bleeding heart.
The shock of seeing both Kimberly and Jason captured by Divatox, falling into that boiling lava pit on Muranthias and miraculously emerging whole, but with evilly burning eyes; how he'd been torn between worry for Kat, who barely managed to fend off Kimberly, and concern for his best friend and his first love as Maligore's Children attacked him and Kat with unbridled violence.
Kat leaving for London, tearing almost as big a hole in his heart as Kim's departure for Florida had, but then it had been Jason who'd helped him through, bolstered his flagging confidence when he missed his girlfriend in the long hours of night ...and reminded him to keep writing, keep calling Kat even when he would've given up long before.*
It hurt to think of this, but Tommy couldn't help himself; passing a car painted a dark purple, he made good another place. Dimly, he heard his Uncle's voice over his headset and coasted into the pit. He stared straight ahead unseeingly as his tank was filled up again, but he was once more miles -- and years -- away, and the experienced pit crew, mistaking his absorption for intense concentration, knew better than to yank a driver out of that almost trance-like state. Finished, Tommy got the signal to go ahead, and with a roar of his engine, he was back in the race. Jockeying for his former position again, the memories came flooding back more quickly and with greater intensity, and intuitively, the young man drove faster, trying to outrun the most recent pictures. It was no use.
*The night he and Kat became lovers -- she had come back from London a few weeks before, and confessed that she'd missed him as much as he'd missed her -- it had been during a weekend trip to Collorado. They'd gone whitewater-rafting, shrieking with glee like children as they got soaked by the river rapids. Kat's eyes had sparkled like sapphires with excitement and laughter as they returned to dry land, and he'd nearly lost it as he noticed her soaked t-shirt under her life-vest, outlining her gorgeous figure in glorious detail. She'd seen his reaction, blushed fiercely but had only given him a Mona Lisa smile, and come the night, one of their two rooms at the small country inn had stayed unused. It had been a little wild, a little scary -- both had never taken that step before, after all -- but there had also been a lot of love, he was sure of that.*
Tommy shook his head to clear it. Whizzing past a white-and-orange vehicle, the track was clear before him except for the taillights of a dark-red car, taunting him as they disappeared behind the next curve. Heart beating in his throat, Tommy carefully shifted his position behind the wheel and started inching his own racer towards the leading car. With an effort, the young man once more forced icy control on his raging emotions.
Where had he gone wrong? What had happened that both his best friend and his lover had gone behind his back and betrayed him? Creating a child between them, leaving him out in the cold ... for despite having found David, Tommy sometimes still felt the loss of his biological parents deeply. Kat's child should've been his! His, and not Jason's ... not that he wanted a family right now, but someday ... Jason and Kat had robbed him of that, and a fresh spurt of anger momentarily cleared his vision, just in time to see the flag signalling the last round. He was already trailing the other car's trunk. Looking for an opening to pass, Tommy once more became lost in images, this time in visions of Kat and Jason together.
*The dark and pale-gold heads huddled together over something at the Beach Club, jerking apart as he approached them. They'd said it had been for his birthday, and he had received a beautiful set of leather-bound books, containing old mythologies, from both of them, but what if that innocent scene had concealed something else?
Jason's willingness to substitute for him -- hadn't it been hidden eagerness to be alone with Kat? Had he himself thrown both together inadvertantly, naively believing he could trust them?
Kat and Jason getting married, probably running hand in hand up the steps of City Hall, laughing and sparing not a single thought for him, Tommy, the loner, the outsider once again, left behind like his parents had left him when they died, like Kim had left him for that guy in Florida ... like Kat had left Kim to die in Zedd's hidden chamber and like Jason had left the Green Candle in the Dark Dimension to burn down so he had to give up his Powers and his place on the team ....*
A part of Tommy knew that he was being unfair and irrational, that it hadn't been like that, but it was drowned out by the louder voices of hurt and anger, which were all he could feel ever since Kat had confessed her lapse to him. That same part of him winced at the remembered sound and sensation of his fist striking Jason's face, leaving a bruise almost immediately, but he'd silenced that part with another and another blow to his best friend's body, waiting -- hoping -- he'd fight back, but although the dark eeyes flashed once or twice with pain and temper, Jason had taken it all unresistingly, silently acknowledging Tommy's right to hurt him as he'd hurt Tommy.
The rage that had made him beat on Jason rose again now, and to release it in some way, any way, Tommy floored the accelerator, feeding his car more power to escape the images his mind insisted on conjuring up. Jason, laughing, smiling, serious, understanding. Kat, cajoling, soothing, comforting, yearning. Jason holding out his hand to him in friendship and acceptance. Kat persuading him into a test drive. Jason, welcoming him back as the White Ranger. Kat, arranging the ill-fated date with Heather. Jason, Kat ... the two faces of the people he'd loved like family and more danced in a kaleidoscope of color and emotion before his inner eye, consuming everything until the pain blotted out everything else, and with a last burst of speed, desperate to escape the images, Tommy shot past the leading car and crossed the finish line half a length ahead of the other. The crowd went wild.
Dimly, Tommy realized that the race was over.
Shifting his foot to the brake, he slowly felt the hurtful memories recede and
the icy numbness that had enveloped him sink back into the dark reaches of his
mind. John Rush and his crew were sprinting across the tarmac towards him,
shouting and waving at him frantically. Tommy shook himself. He'd won his
first-ever victory, but as he slowed down to a stop and dazedly climbed out of
his racer, all he felt was a hollowness inside at what he'd lost.
***
Kat hated feeling so weak; she hated that her body began to change and swell, that she was weepy and moody, and she hated that she had to cook dinner every day and clean her apartment regularly. Not that she was untidy, but as long as she'd lived alone, who cared if she left the laundry lying outside instead of putting it away into the closets and drawers, or just had some fruit and yoghurt for dinner? Besides, her apartment really was too small for two people. Jason had stored as many of his belongings at his parents' home as he could, and she knew this was only a temporary arrangement, but it still grated to no longer have a truly private space she could call her own.
In her more rational moments, Kat knew that the situation was as hard on Jason as it was on her, but it didn't stop the snide remarks that slipped out, even if mostly against her will; and the flash of pain in Jason's dark eyes at some particularly thoughtless comment that compared him unfavorably to Tommy made Kat feel even worse. Her husband's ready forgiveness when she burst into tears at one such point was harder to bear still, and for a few days, both pulled themselves together and drew on their friendship to see them through.
Even so, it was not an easy time.
The most difficult thing to endure, Kat reflected as she stowed groceries away one afternoon about six weeks into their marriage, was the lack of someone to talk things over with. Neither Jason nor herself had yet found the courage to tell their parents the whole truth after all, and she still hadn't heard from Tanya. Sadly, Kat had decided that her best friend's ongoing silence was commentary enough -- apparently Tanya thought so badly of her and Jason that she wouldn't even talk to her. Well, she'd deal with that, too.
*What other choice do I have, really?* the dancer thought morosely as she turned on the kettle to make herself some tea. *I could probably talk to Jason since he's going through the same thing, but he misses Tommy just as much -- he's always shared his problems with himm, and now ...*
Kat swallowed a moan at the rush of pain memories of Tommy still brought her. While he hadn't been around all that much before their break-up, she missed the comfort of their long-standing relationship, the shared memories and the sometimes impulsive but wildly romantic things he'd come up with for them to do -- like driving into the mountains at a moments' notice on Valentine's Day Weekend, to take advantage of a colleague's empty cabin in the woods. She smiled mistily at the memory. She'd groused about the primitive conditions for all of the two days, but to his credit, Tommy had done all the hard chores, like splitting wood, keeping the fire going and drawing water from the outside well. Still, it had been fun to share a sleeping bag with him and making love in front of an open fire even though her teeth were chattering with cold in the otherwise unheated, very rustic cabin. In Kat's opinion, it definitely had been worth the persistent cold she'd caught that weekend.
Kat took her tea into the living room and sank on the couch as she recalled that time early in February. That had been the last 'quality' time she and Tommy had spent together before the racing circuit took off again, and they'd definitely made the most of it, primitive conditions or not. Unbidden, her mind conjured up how it felt to wake up safely held in her husband's arms when she'd cried herself to sleep again, but Kat deliberately turned away from the image. She didn't want to acknowledge that the far less flamboyant gestures Jason sometimes made to make her feel good were slowly but surely softening her heart.
Her husband was rarely given to doing very impulsive things, but a tiny part of Kat couldn't help but appreciate the single piece of Godiva chocolate left on her pillow one night when he had to be out, or the lone flower he'd picked for her in the park when they took a walk one evening. Kat unconsciously touched the clasp that held her hair back in a ponytail. She really was a bit ... old ... to be wearing something like that, but the handmade ornament bought last week at a charity bazaar was so charmingly funny that she couldn't resist. It was a simple wooden carving, but the well-known cartoon cat -- a fat, orange-striped tabby -- wore such an engagingly silly, smug grin that Jason had purchased it without a second thought, and always grinned exactly like the lasagna-loving tom when she put it in her hair.
The young woman sighed and sipped her tea. Kat would've preferred coffee, but knew it was better in her condition to stay away from too much caffeine. While tea was also a stimulant, it was at least somewhat healthier than coffee, and no matter her feelings on her marriage, Kat wanted what was best for her baby. She leaned back against the couch with a sigh, surveying the stack of empty and already-filled packing boxes in one corner with some disgust. Only two more weeks, and she would have to leave her apartment, her first own home, to move into a bigger place with Jason. While the added space would be a relief to both, deep down she resented the necessity. They had found a nice apartment in a new development near the Youth Center, but it wasn't going to be hers -- not like this one was.
The doorbell rang. With an impatient scowl at having her rest interrupted, Kat got up and buzzed her visitor up. Looking through the spy hole in case it was someone she didn't want to let in, Kat nearly fainted at the sight of who came up the stairs. With suddenly shaking hands, she unlocked the door and threw it wide open.
"Tanya!"
***
"Oh Kat ... I'm so sorry I couldn't come sooner, but we've been out of town since May ..."
Kat tried to answer, but her suddenly constricted throat would not let her speak. Instead, she just burst into tears as she clung to her best friend. Tanya let the door drift shut behind her as she continued to hug the sobbing blonde, and closed her eyes in mingled sympathy and exasperation. She had come back to Angel Grove over Adam's protest -- after reading Kat's letter on their return from one of Adam's location shoots in Mexico, he'd called Rocky to get more details, and the two men firmly sided with their former leader. However, Tanya felt she owed it to her best friend to find out what really happened in person, and therefore had risked a serious quarrel with her husband when she simply gathered her jacket and purse and drove away, leaving Adam fuming behind in their comfortable house in Los Angeles.
After a couple of minutes, Kat managed to control her tears. With an embarrassed smile, she disengaged herself from Tanya's hold and led the young woman into the living room, apologizing awkwardly for the mess of partially-packed boxes.
"It's okay, Kat; I remember what a hassle moving can be."
"Yes. I ... we're moving in two weeks, and need to start packing ..."
"It's amazing what junk one accumulates even in a tiny place, isn't it?" Tanya readily agreed, trying to regain her own composure. Kat's tears had shaken her more than she'd realized, especially since she could sense her desperation underneath. *What's going on here?*
Determined to get to the root of the matter, Tanya exchanged a few more inane remarks with her friend to give Kat a couple more minutes to compose herself, then she turned slightly in her seat and put an arm around Kat's shoulders.
"Kat."
The Australian swallowed hard and looked down at her hands. She knew why Tanya had come, welcomed it in fact, since she needed to talk to someone, but now that the moment was here, she couldn't find the words. Helplessly, she looked into her best friend's eyes, asking Tanya silently for help. Understanding the unspoken plea, the dark-skinned young woman smiled slightly and squeezed Katherine's shoulder gently. Drawing a deep breath, she tried to find the right starting point for the myriad of questions running through her mind ever since she'd read Kat's message. If only they'd had their private messages forwarded along with their business mail!
"Kat, what exactly happened? I read your letter, but I couldn't really believe what you wrote. I'd like to help you if I can, but I need to understand .... what made you turn to Jason? Was it something Tommy said or did, or maybe didn't do?"
"Nothing like that," the blonde sighed, wiping ineffectually at her still-damp cheeks. "It ... it wasn't like that. I wish I could explain it ..."
"Won't you at least try?" the former Yellow Ranger asked with an encouraging smile. When no answer was forthcoming, she prompted her friend with a soft question.
"Why were you going out with Jason that night, anyway? Didn't you tell me when you bought the tickets that Tommy had agreed to accompany you?"
"H-he called me just as I was getting ready," Kat murmured, feeling herself transported back to that evening in early June. Caught up in the memory, she haltingly related the events that had led to her pregnancy and marriage with another man. Tanya heard her out, listening for more than the obvious, and felt vaguely disturbed by an undercurrent in Kat's voice whenever she spoke of Tommy and her lingering feelings for him, and by the way Kat talked about Jason -- her husband of six weeks and the father of her baby.
"So Tommy was neglecting you for his racing?" Tanya asked, as Kat wound down her tale. She'd sometimes thought that Kat was a fool to let her boyfriend get away with so many last-minute cancellations, but Tommy's excuses had always seemed to be for genuine reasons, and what did she know about the racing circuit or mechanics, anyway?
"N-no; he was just really busy, and of course I wouldn't want him to neglect his safety," Kat replied, giving the argument she'd repeated to herself almost like a mantra ever since that night.
*Well, Tommy's said that often enough in the past,* Tanya thought, somewhat uncharitably. *If he hadn't bowed out at the last minute, this wouldn't have happened!* While she couldn't help but feel sorry for her former leader -- she knew Tommy well enough to know how hurt he must be by Kat and Jason's actions; his reaction to Kim's letter had been bad enough all those years ago, and he and Kat had been together longer, and been more intimately involved. Still, Tanya'd heard from Kat often enough about last-minute changes in plans that prevented Tommy from coming home, and knew that she herself would have given Adam what-for if he had stood her up like that at times. Of course Tanya hadn't wanted to interfere in her friends' relationship, but ...
With an effort, Tanya got back to the present situation. Kat was hardly in the mood to listen to any arguments like that, not if the way she was still defending Tommy's almost obsessive involvement in his racing career to the exclusion of anything else was any indication.
"...and he can't really help it if the sponsors make him stay behind, or his mechanics need him, can he?" the blonde concluded, her tone a mixture of defiance and helplessness. Tanya chose to disregard that line of thought for the moment; she sensed it was not the right time to point out to her friends that her wants and needs were just as important in a functioning relationship.
"Did Jason make a pass at you, then?"
Tanya thought that rather unlikely, having formed an instant rapport of respect and trust with the former team leader when he'd rejoined the Rangers. Jason wasn't really the type to intrude on someone else's relationsip, which made the whole affair even more puzzling. But stranger things had happened where men and women were involved, and given their already strong feelings of friendship the two culprits had developed over time, it was not totally implausible.
"No," Kat answered unhesitatingly. "He was nice, and charming, and funny, as always; it was just ... when we were dancing here, it felt so good just to be held, the music was so nice and soft, and Jason's a good dancer, and ... and then we kissed, and ..." the tears came again. Reliving that moment was not easy for Kat, because it always caused her to feel a very confusing mixture of shame and guilt ... and a little bit of remembered pleasure, which for some inexplicable reason was the hardest to bear.
"I never wanted it to happen, but when we kissed, it was as if my brain shut down completely, and all I could do was feel."
After a moment's pause, during which Tanya digested everything Kat had told her, she asked very gently, "what did you feel?"
Kat didn't answer right away. Slowly the color flooded her pale face as she struggled with her emotions. She didn't want to admit this, but she also couldn't lie to her best friend. Tears trickled unhindered down her cheeks as she struggled to get the words out.
"I ... I felt ... good. Like I was ... important. As if in that moment, nobody else existed but the two of us." Kat sobbed once and hid her face in her hands. Then, she lifted haunted blue eyes to the former Yellow Ranger. "But Tanya, I shouldn't have. I don't love Jason, I love Tommy -- I always have. You know that!" The desperation in the softly-accented voice was unmistakable.
Tanya sat back slightly, frowned and shook her head helplessly. What a mess!
"Yes, Kat, I know."
The two women talked on into the gathering darkness; Kat pouring out her heart to her best friend. It felt so good to have someone to listen to her pain and confusion, and who assured her that her feelings regarding the loss of privacy, for example, were perfectly natural. Kat also told Tanya about her problems in adjusting to married life in general, and found a sympathetic ear.
"Been there, done that," Tanya grinned. "You'd think Adam is the sweetest guy in the world, but boy, can he get irritable if he doesn't get his fresh juice for breakfast, or his toast is cold!" She related a few other incidents from her own early days of being married, smiling at the memories.
Kat tried to smile back, but instead had to fight yet another burst of tears. How she'd missed this easy exchange of confidences! Tanya shook her head. She'd never seen Kat turn on the waterworks that much!
"I'm sorry," the Australian choked. "I don't know what's wrong with me. Part of it is hormones, or so my doctor tells me, but I thought I'd gotten over it lately."
"Don't worry, Kat. One of my colleagues at the studio was the same when she was pregnant last year." Tanya frowned slightly; while this was true, Kat's emotional equilibrium seemed far more disturbed than Rebecca's had been.
Before she could say anything more, the two women heard a key turn in the lock, and an instant later, Jason's broad shoulders filled the doorway. His expression lit up with pleasure as he recognized Tanya, but clouded almost immediately as he took in Kat's tear-streaked face. With a few long strides, he was beside his wife and draped a comforting arm around the slim shoulders, drawing her close. Lifting flashing dark eyes to their former teammate, he tried hard to keep his sudden anger out of his voice.
"What did you say to Kat? If you've come only to accuse Kat of making a mistake, you could have saved yourself the trip. She needs a friend, not more blame." Jason turned back to Kat and gently ran his fingers down a pale cheek, tucking a strand of silvery-blonde hair behind Kat's ear. His voice was soft and soothing as he addressed his wife.
"It's okay, kitten; don't cry. You know I can't stand to see you so upset."
"I-it's allright, Jason; Tanya didn't say anything to upset me," Kat hiccuped, embarrassed at having been caught crying. She'd truly thought she'd gotten over her weepiness, and knew how much it disturbed Jason. She once more essayed a watery smile.
"Then why ...?" Those dark eyes were still wary, but their expression softened somewhat. While Kat tried to explain what had caused her tears and Jason listened attentively, completely focussed on his wife, Tanya observed the little scene with a great deal of interest. She was well aware that Jason had a strong protective streak towards all of his friends, most notably for Tommy, but what she was seeing here, and the way Kat unconsciously reacted to his very evident caring, made Tanya think that the protestations of "we're not in love with each other" Kat had made earlier were maybe not quite as heartfelt as the two thought they were. However, her train of thought was derailed as Jason turned towards her, his handsome face slightly flushed. He smiled somewhat sheepishly.
"I'm sorry, Tanya. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that. It's just, when I saw Kat cry, and you looked kinda ... disapproving, I just thought ..." his voice trailed off, and Tanya had to smile. She'd been taken aback by his subdued vehemence, but seeing the care Jason obviously lavished on her best friend made her forget her consternation pretty fast.
"It's okay, Jason. Adam would've reacted just like you, if he'd come upon me and Kat and I'd been the one crying."
"Yeah, well ... still, I shouldn't have
snapped at you like that. I'm sorry," he repeated sincerely. It was one of
the traits Tanya had always liked in her former teammate -- his willingness to
admit mistakes and make amends as soon as possible. What a pity that the
biggest mistake he'd ever made together with Kat couldn't be put to rights with
a simple apology!
***
"What are you doing home so early? Don't you have a class 'til nine?" It was now shortly after seven.
Grateful for the everyday subject, Jason smiled at his lovely wife.
"Not tonight; it's the Young Mothers ladies' self-defense group, and there's a presentation at the Elementary School where a lot of my students have their kids enrolled. Since most of the class would be absent, we decided to reschedule. But I already told you about that last week."
Jason's tone was perfectly friendly, not a hint of reproach in his voice, but Kat flushed deeply nonetheless. Tanya watched, astonished, as she stammered an apology that was far more abject than the small lapse of memory warranted. Jason readily forgave Kat -- not that Tanya had expected anything else -- and to make up for his earlier suspicion, he invited Tanya to have dinner with them. After a moment's hesitation, she agreed, curious to watch the dynamics between her two friends a while longer. Companionably, the three together prepared and shared a simple meal of stew, salad and rolls, and afterwards wandered back to sit in the cosy living room for a while, talking. However, their good mood slowly evaporated until the silences became long and uncomfortable. Kat excused herself for a moment to visit the bathroom, and Tanya looked at her host consideringly. Before she could say anything, though, Jason beat her to the punch.
"All right, Tanya, why are you here? The real reason, please."
While his tone wasn't exactly hostile, it still wasn't quite as friendly as earlier in the evening. Tanya understood his position, though; she met his probing eyes unflinchingly.
"I came because I wanted to hear from Kat -- from both of you -- what really happened. Kat's told me her version, that you both just ... just sort of slid into this. To be perfectly honest, Jason, I find that somewhat hard to believe. You're both normally very controlled, not as impulsive as, say, Rocky ... or me." She smiled a bit to take some of the sting out of her words. "I can't help but wonder what in Heaven's name made you lose control like that. It's so very much unlike you to go behind someone's back like that -- especially someone you both care about."
Jason ran both hands through his hair and shook his head. Snorting lightly, he looked back at Tanya.
"Do you think I don't know that? I've asked myself a million times what made me -- us -- do that, and I still haven't found an answer. Sure, Kat is beautiful, and a really wonderful person, but I've known that for years -- ever since I met her. But she's Tommy's girl ... or was, anyway," he added somewhat bitterly.
The feeling was more self-directed than anything else, Tanya could see that quite clearly. Still, she wasn't wholly convinced that it had all been as innocent as her two friends believed ... or maybe wanted to believe. There was quite obviously a whole lot of feeling between Jason and Kat, not all of it positive right now because of stress and strain, but definitely strong. One only had to be in the same room with them to sense their affection for each other, and if one knew them at all, it was almost palpable. The first time Tanya had noticed it was when both had been so frantic over Tommy's disppearance after Gasket had kidnapped him. The unity of purpose they'd displayed in their search for Tommy had surprised them all ... furthermore, Kat and Jason quickly had become each other's confidantes where Tommy was concerned, which maybe had only been natural, as girlfriend and best friend. However, Tanya began to suspect that neither one of her friends was aware of what was happening between them. It made her choose her next words with more care than she would have used otherwise.
"Well, whatever happened, happened, and you now have to deal with the consequences. I can't say that I understand, not completely, but that's beside the point, isn't it?" She shared a rueful grimace with Jason as Kat joined them again, sitting down next to her husband. Tanya noticed with secret amusement how his hand automatically reached for Kat's.
"For what it's worth, I think you made the right choice in regards to your baby -- both of you. Getting married and keeping it, I mean," she elaborated. "When's the due date?"
"First week of March," Kat whispered, having to fight her tears again. That small measure of approval meant more to her than she would've thought possible, especially coming from her best friend.
"I'll try if I can be here," Tanya said after a moment's hesitation. "I can't promise you anything, but if it's at all possible, I'll be there for you, Kat."
"Thank you, Tanya," the blonde choked, nearly overcome with emotion. "M-maybe we could meet before; I'm in LA next month to choose the costumes for our Christmas recital ..." her hopeful voice trailed off as she saw the uneasy expression cross Tanya's features. Although she tried to hide it, her discomfort was painfully obvious. "T-tanya?"
The dark-haired woman looked away, blushing with embarrassment. How could she explain her reluctance to her friends without coming across as a total fraud? But it had been hard enough to come to Angel Grove at all ... she sneaked a peek at the couple sitting opposite her from under her lashes, just in time to see realization dawn in Jason's eyes. His low voice was deceptively calm as he asked the question she dreaded.
"Tanya ... does Adam know you're here?"
Kat sucked in a sharp breath. She'd been so overjoyed that her best friend had come to see her after all this time that she'd never stopped to consider that possibility. Adam and Tommy had become pretty close after Billy's departure to Aquitar, far beyond than just being team leader and second-in-command. She looked from Tanya to Jason and back. The guilt in Tanya's expression let a cold ball of fear form in the pit of her stomach.
"Yes, he does," Tanya finally replied in a subdued voice, but she couldn't quite meet Kat and Jason's eyes. Inhaling deeply, she steeled herself to say what she must.
"Adam knows, but he wasn't exactly thrilled by my decision to come here. In fact, we almost quarrelled about it. I'm sorry, guys, but ... but he's siding with Rocky on this."
Jason stood abruptly and went over to the window. He crossed his arms and stood with his back towards the two women as he tried to subdue his anger and remorse. Still looking out into the darkness, his voice was toneless but even deeper than usual as he inquired further.
"And yet you chose to come. Why?"
"Because Kat is my best friend. Because even though I can't understand why you did what you did, I still happen to think that you don't deserve to be ostracized. Because whatever else may have occurred, you still are the decent people I've known and liked for years, and that's something I can't just forget or throw out the window. And lastly, while I love Adam with all my heart and certainly don't want to hurt or anger him, he doesn't have the right to tell me who to see or what to think. I'd do anything for him, but he doesn't own me -- and I won't be dictated to about my choice of friends, not even by my husband."
Jason turned at the quiet statement and looked deeply into Tanya's eyes. Seeing her sincerity, he found a small smile of thanks and appreciation, but it was fleeting. Instead, he stepped back to Kat, who sat stunned and motionless on the couch, her sapphire eyes dull and brimming with tears. Placing a large, reassuring hand on his wife's shoulder, he nodded once in resigned acceptance.
"I see."
Tanya reached out and took one of Kat's cold hands in hers. Warming the appendage by rubbing the back in small circles, she tried to explain her awkward position to her friend.
"Kat ... it's not that I don't want to see you, or be there for you, it's ... I just can't. I'm pretty sure Adam won't mind too much -- or at least, he won't say anything, not after the way I've made my position clear to him -- if I call you every now and then, but I don't think it would be such a good idea for me if I came to see you, or if we met in LA. I'm terribly sorry, but he is my husband, and ..." her voice trailed off as Kat summoned a smile from somewhere. Freeing her hands and tucking them under her arms in a protective gesture, the dancer bowed to the inevitable.
"I understand. I certainly don't want to cause problems between you and Adam. Thank you for coming at all."
She was being brave, and all three knew it. Tanya swallowed her own helpless tears as she saw the renewed misery in Kat's eyes. She wished with all her might that there was something, anything else she could do for her, but if it came down to a choice between her husband and her best friend, she knew what her decision would be. Better to offer Kat what little help and comfort she could than break off contact with her altogether. Shrugging her apology, she sat back, but the silence that descended on the softly-lit room was beyond awkward.
"I'm sorry," Tanya repeated after a while, at a loss for what else to say.
"Yeah," was all the answer she got, though. "So are we." Jason had wandered back to the window, obviously engaged in his own battle for control. Finally, he exhaled wearily.
"Thank you for coming," he echoed Kat's words.
"I had to. We all were too close once ... and maybe in time ..."
"Yeah. Maybe."
It sounded hopeless, and privately Tanya had her own doubts about an eventual reconciliation, given Adam's rather stringent views on the situation, shared by Rocky, but she refused to give up. Maybe something would happen that would restore the unity in their once close-knit group. She had no idea what that 'something' could be, but it seemed ludicrous that simple Human failing would succeed where far more sinister threats in their past had not. The Rangers had always persevered as a group, eventually forgiven each other for a lot worse transgressions, and the erstwhile Yellow Ranger refused to believe that that had really changed. Just now emotions were still running high, and only time could bring healing to all of them.
Tanya sighed as she slowly reached for her purse and stood up. There wasn't anything she could do or say right now to change matters, and if she wanted to make it home again tonight, she had better be going. With a look of regret, she cleared her throat.
"Guys ... I'm sorry, but ..."
"...but you have to go. I understand," Kat said once again, smiling wanly. Her expression tore at Tanya's heart, but she really didn't want to antagonize Adam any further. She hugged Kat warmly, then looked on as Jason draped a comforting arm around his wife's waist. Whatever else might turn up in their path, suddenly Tanya was absolutely sure that he would do anything in his power to protect Kat. It made her parting smile much more confident than she'd originally intended.
"I'll be in touch, as soon and as often as I can. I promise," she said sincerely.
"Thanks, Tanya. For everything,"
Jason replied, smiling back. It wasn't much of a smile, but the warmth and
genuine appreciation stayed with Tanya as she took her leave and went on the
long drive back home.
***
Tanya lost herself in reflections on what she'd heard and seen this afternoon and evening, and so started a bit when Adam finally broke the silence.
"Well? How is the happy couple?"
The sarcasm wasn't really like him, and Tanya frowned to show her displeasure, but answered calmly.
"For one thing, not all that happy as Rocky and you seem to believe. They're both very much aware that they've hurt a number of people, not just Tommy, and both Jason and Kat would do anything to undo what they've done, if it were possible."
Adam sat back with an impatient sigh and threw his pen onto the table. It clattered as it rolled across the polished wood. Pushing back his long hair with both hands, he looked at Tanya.
"Why did they do it, then? That baloney Kat wrote, about it just happening ... I'm sorry, but I don't believe that. Tommy was her lover, dammit, and Jason's best friend! They should've thought about him before they started fooling around behind his back!"
"I don't think it was like that at all, sweetie," Tanya murmured. She'd listened very carefully for nuances in Kat's words, and was convinced her friend had been telling the truth, both in her letter and this afternoon during their heart-to-heart. "I think the two created a romantic situation without meaning to, and then got carried away. Well, it happens," she said, giving her scowling husband a meaningful look. Adam had the decency to blush; he knew exactly what Tanya was referring to.
Both had wanted and agreed to wait for marriage to become intimate, but there had been that one night on the beach ... they'd been at a party, there had been good food, nice company, warmth, a bonfire ... later, they had taken a walk alone under the twinkling stars, and when they'd found themselves in a secluded spot and started kissing, their good intentions had been washed away in the gentle surf lapping at their feet. The next morning, they'd been somewhat chagrined at themselves, but since no real harm was done, Adam and Tanya had been able to put the incident behind them with only sweet memories of their lovemaking to tide them over the last couple of months until their wedding.
Unfortunately, their friends hadn't been so lucky.
Adam sighed once more and pushed his papers out of the way, making room for Tanya next to him. She accepted the unspoken invitation and moved gracefully over to the couch. to snuggle down in her husband's arm.
"I can understand your loyalty to Tommy and Rocky, sweetie, but will you at least listen to what I found out today?"
Adam nodded; he leaned back and stared wordlessly at the ceiling as Tanya related the things she'd learned and observed in the tiny apartment back in Angel Grove. When she was through, Adam looked at her with a strange expression.
"You say Kat was miffed that Tommy stood her up at short notice; well, I guess I can understand that. But that's no reason to fall into bed with Jason that same night!"
"It wasn't the first time Tommy cancelled on her," Tanya reminded him. "Maybe this last time was just the straw that broke the camel's back."
"Are you saying it was his fault?" Adam asked, incredulously.
"No, and neither do Kat or Jason. They accept full responsibility for their actions."
"Well, they should!"
"Of course; but from what Kat told me, and from what I've seen over the last couple of years, Tommy's not entirely blameless. I can't be completely sure, but I think sometimes he called Jason in not for any real emergency, but just because he didn't feel like going with Kat. It was mostly anything to do with ballet that he cancelled out on, if I remember correctly."
"Not all guys are into that," Adam protested weakly. He didn't like to admit it, but Tanya had a point.
"Agreed. However, you come to my club performances even though I know you don't like the atmosphere." Tanya worked at the studio offices where Adam was an up-and-coming stunt coordinator, and was trying to make a name for herself as a singer on the weekends. She was slowly getting ahead, having already garnered a few favorable comments from club patrons in the audience, and hopes for a singing contract; in the meantime, the gigs provided a nice addition to their combined salaries.
"I don't like you coming back from there alone at night. Besides, I'm watching you on stage, not someone else." Adam suddenly felt ridiculously defensive. This was totally different from what Tommy had done, wasn't it?
"And the fact that you love me has nothing to do with it?" Tanya teased softly, resting her head against Adam's shoulder. He couldn't resist her smile and kissed her gently.
"It has everything to do with it."
The young couple shared a few moments of tender silence as they hugged and cuddled. Then, Adam stubbornly resumed their conversation.
"Okay, so maybe Tommy occasionally chickened out on Kat. Is that really such a crime?"
"No ... but I can see where someone like Jason, nice, handsome, attentive, already a good -- very good -- friend, could turn Kat's head in a situation like that."
"That still doesn't explain Jason's behavior. He made out with his best friend's girl!"
Tanya drained the last of the wine from her glass. She was tired, both physically and emotionally, but she felt she needed to at least try and explain what she'd observed.
"Adam ... I can't be sure, but ... I think Jason's feelings for Kat run a lot deeper than even he thinks they do. He agreed completely with Kat when she told me they didn't love each other romantically, but from what I've seen ... the way he always tries to shield her, the way he touches her ... it's partially just the way he is, and I'm sure a lot is unconscious, but if he wasn't in love with Kat this spring, he's well on his way to fall in love with her now. And I don't think it's just because of the baby."
"At least they did that right," Adam muttered. He still wasn't ready to forgive his friends for hurting Tommy, but he at least approved of their decision to raise the child they'd created together as a couple.
"Yes. And if I'm right, there's going to be a lot of pain in their future ... because Kat is still clinging to Tommy in her heart. I think she doesn't want to see that it's over, and that Jason is beginning to care for her."
The young man pondered that for a while. He was very much tempted to say it served Kat and Jason right, but his sense of fairness wouldn't let him. That kind of emotional suffering would benefit no-one, and ultimately make everybody unhappy. Still, Adam wasn't quite ready to forget and forgive. He felt he owed Tommy too much in terms of loyalty and friendship to keep up a relationship with the Scotts, even if they maybe weren't quite the traitors he'd thought them to be; Tanya's judgement of people usually was pretty accurate.
"Well, it's no concern of ours. They blundered, and now have to live with it," he dismissed the topic.
Tanya wanted to object, but wisely decided not to push the issue for now. Instead, she looked pleadingly into Adam's dark eyes.
"Yes, they do. But sweetie ... would you mind very much if I called Kat now and then, to see how she's doing? She is my best friend, after all, and I would kind of like to see her when her baby comes ... it'll be the first for our gang."
"Do you have to?" Adam asked, unwilling to concede even that much. He didn't want to be drawn in by sympathy, not until he'd made up his own mind and talked to Tommy and some of the others in person.
Tanya gazed at him seriously.
"I think I do. Adam, I don't want to go behind your back on this, and I promise you I'll keep my contacts to a reasonable minimum, but if you can be this loyal to Tommy and Rocky, I think I have the right to be equally loyal to Kat. I don't approve of what she -- they -- did any more than you do, but I also can't just turn my back on her."
"Okay," Adam agreed after a long pause. Tanya was right; in all fairness he couldn't deny her that much. "Just don't expect me to go along."
"I won't," Tanya promised, giving her husband a grateful kiss. It
was a small concession, but maybe it was the first tiny step for all of them to
regain what they'd lost.
It was here that she'd first cooked a meal for Tommy; here that she had started to build hopes for having a family one day, here where she had pictured herself as a bride, to be joined with the man she loved. Well, she was about to have at least the family soon; her slowly growing belly was a sure indicator, but everything else about the picture was ....wrong. Because there had been no elaborate, frothy wedding gown and ceremony, no honeymoon, no friends to share her joy ... because it was the wrong man who had married her and been sharing her apartment for the last seven weeks.
Kat swallowed hard, both to moisten her throat and to dampen her sudden resentment. It had also been here, in her comfortable apartment, that she had done her part in shattering that dream -- by making love to Jason. *Why???* she railed at herself for the umpteenth time. *Why did I do it? Why was it so easy to fall into his arms? Why didn't I stop after that first kiss, sweet as it had been????*
The young woman was no closer to an answer today than she had been the morning after, and resignedly she closed her eyes briefly against her surrondings. Her little haven looked so forlorn, not at all like the place of her daydreams and fantasies. Memories of lonely evenings spent without Tommy, waiting for the phone to ring, raised their heads cautiously, but Kat refused to look at them. If she allowed herself to admit that not everything about her relationship with the former Red Zeo Ranger had been perfect, she was positive her misery would be total. Much better to cling to the many good memories ... their first date, first kiss, first night together. Kat smiled sadly as she opened her eyes again. It was over; she'd had her chance at a fairy tale, and had blown it. The reality was the broad-shouldered man now stepping out of the bedroom, a toolbox under his arm.
Jason saw Kat leaning against the windowsill, looking very much like a little girl lost in her baggy jean overalls and with her hair in pigtails. He put the toolbox down and went to her, massaging her neck and shoulders gently. She sighed softly, but stayed aloof, not leaning into his chest as she sometimes did.
"What is it, kitten?" he asked, having a good idea of what was going through his wife's mind right now.
Kat remained silent for a few moments, then murmured rebelliously, "I don't want to move!"
Jason chuckled lightly and drew her resisting figure closer.
"I know. Neither did I, the first time."
Now that was intriguing. Kat turned slightly to look into the warm, understanding dark eyes.
"What are you talking about? That one-room place you were living in was ... well, not exactly a dump, but not too far from it."
"I'm not talking about moving from there to here, but from my folks' place to there." A reminiscent smile curved the firm lips. Kat could see the slightly distant look in Jason's eyes and recognized it as one she'd seen a lot in the mirror these last few days.
"I ... I don't understand," she admitted hesitantly. It was strange; while Jason was a dear friend still and offered her what help and support he could to cope with the aftermath of their transgression, Kat was very reluctant to probe too deeply into his emotions -- as if by discovering that Jason's feelings might be similar to her own, she would lose the hold she had on her memories of Tommy. It was something she didn't -- couldn't -- talk about, not even with Tanya when she'd come to see her two weeks ago.
Jason smiled once more, lost in his own reminiscences.
"I was looking forward to having my own place; I remember I wanted a place of my own, even if it was only something like The Sty." Both grinned fleetingly; while Jason had been neat enough, his one-room apartment had been so decrepit that not even the best housekeeper in the world could've transformed it into a home. Rocky had once labeled it The Sty, after a group of them had surprised Jason during a major laundry-sorting orgy that had encompassed every available surface, and the name had stuck. "It may not have been much, but it was mine; and yet ... when I'd packed all of my things in my old room at home, and looked out the window into the garden, I could've bawled. I'd grown up in that room, it had been my refuge for as long as I could remember, and it was harder than I'd ever dreamed it would be to leave it behind."
He squeezed the slim shoulders gently.
"That's what you're feeling right now, isn't it?"
"Y-yes," Kat admitted hesitantly. "Oh Jason, I don't want to leave here!"
"We have to, Kat," Jason said somberly. "You know we do. Nice as it is, it's really just for one person, and we'll need even more space when the baby comes ..." his voice trailed off at her glare.
"I know that!" she snapped, more sharply than she'd intended. But Kat's anger melted as soon as it had flared up.
"I'm sorry," Kat said wearily. "My head tells me that you're right, but at the moment I'm having a very hard time to convince my heart of that." She finally gave in to the soothing massage and leaned her aching back angainst Jason's strength. While everybody had seen to it that she didn't overexert herself, due to her pregnancy, Kat had insisted on doing what she could without endangering the baby. The young couple was silent for long minutes as they stood in the empty room, only a few feet from the spot where the kiss that had changed their lives so profoundly had happened. Finally, Jason rested his cheek against Kat's sunny hair.
"Kat ... I hope you know that I'd do anything to make this easier for you," he began hesitantly. "But ... in the last few days, when our new place took shape, I couldn't help thinking that maybe it's a good thing we're getting away from here."
The blonde looked at her husband with slightly disbelieving eyes. Only minutes ago, Jason had shown her he understood her feelings, and now he was making some kind of about-face? Before she could voice her irritation, however, Jason continued, in that same soft, tentative tone.
"I said I liked having my own place, and I did, but ... in all of the three years I spent on my own, I never had the feeling of having a ... a home, I guess. I put up my posters and bought plants and everything, but either I didn't do it right, or I just don't have a knack for it. Kat ... what I'm trying to say is, despite the inconveniences and the crampedness, this place -- your place -- was more of a real home for me since our wedding than The Sty ever was. And our new apartment ... even now with most of the furniture still in pieces and our things still unpacked, it's already beginning to look like a home. Our home. And I think that's your doing."
Kat was stunned into shocked silence. True, she had chosen the colors of tiles and carpeting and curtains and so on to blend both their belongings into a harmonious whole, because she couldn't live any other way, but she'd never dreamed that Jason would notice -- or that he would feel like that and even admit it to her. It made her earlier unwillingness seem petty and small-minded, but Jason left her no time to dwell on that as he continued.
"Kat ... I'd like to ask you something. Will you try to give me an honest answer?"
"I ... yes, of course," she said, somewhat hoarsely. Jason seemed uncharacteristically insecure. What could he possibly want of her to make him so hesitant?
"I know that this -- our marriage -- is not what you wanted. I know that you still love Tommy. But ... we're still friends, and I like and respect you very much." Jason paused for breath, and Kat interjected a quiet "I feel the same about you." Without that, she'd never have agreed to marry him at all, baby or no baby; and if she was honest, it was also a reason (one of the few she could identify) why she had made love with Jason in the first place that fateful night.
Jason smiled at the soft admission.
"That's good. Thank you for telling me. What I'm getting at is this, though ... I'd like for us to make a fresh start in our new place. Well, as fresh as possible, anyway; we can't erase the past. No more regrets or blame; just the two of us building a home -- together. As best we can. Kitten ... do you think that we can do that? For us, and for our baby?"
Katherine had to fight her tears. A part of her wanted to agree wholeheartedly, but there was still that persistent voice in her mind, whispering insidiously that if she agreed to Jason's plan, she would give up Tommy once and for all -- and she just couldn't do that. She loved the charismatic young man, had loved him since she'd first met him, and while it was true that it was her own fault that they were now separated, the hope that one day he would forgive her would not die. She sighed and turned her head away, but in doing so she caught the hopeful look in her husband's eyes. Jason wouldn't pressure her, she knew that, and something within Kat melted when he murmured softly once more, "Please, Kat?"
"I'll try," she choked out, thereby silencing the inner voice that abruptly shut up, to disappear in sulky silence into the depths of her mind. Kat knew it wasn't gone, but it didn't matter as she took in Jason's delighted and grateful smile.
"Thank you, Kat. You won't regret this; I promise."
The dark eyes shone brightly into hers as he repeated his pledge from the day he'd proposed to her, and Kat couldn't help but return Jason's smile with one of her own. Suddenly, the air between them seemed to be charged with ... something, and before Kat could identify it as the same sensation she'd felt that first time, his lips brushed softly against hers, as if asking permission. It was surprisingly pleasant, and after a moment's hesitation, Kat granted it, yielding her mouth to Jason's kiss. It had been far too long since he'd truly kissed her, she realized as her senses began to swim slightly; not since their wedding day had Jason touched her with anything but the greatest delicacy and respect. They might share a bed, but while he would kiss her cheek or hand, or hug her or rub her back, Jason hadn't touched her intimately at all, even though they were husband and wife. From somewhere came the realization that from today, this would change, but it felt right, and Kat didn't fight it anymore. She gave herself up to the kiss, slowly responding to the gentle claiming, and relaxed into Jason's embrace.
When they separated at last, Jason held his wife tenderly or a few moments longer, enjoying the full-body contact. Just as he was about to release her -- their folks were probably wondering where they'd gotten lost, and they still had a lot of work to do at the new apartment -- he suddenly felt something that seemed like a gentle kick against his abdomen. Simultaneously, Kat hissed sharply and stiffened in his arms. He raised his head from the blonde locks and looked concernedly into the blue eyes. Or at least he tried to; Kat suddenly seemed totally focussed on something outside his perception. It was as if she was listening to a voice only she could hear, or waiting for .... something shifted left to right against his belly. Jason's eyes widened in realization.
"Kat?" he asked breathlessly. *Could it possibly be...?*
She drew in a shuddering breath, and the sapphire eyes suddenly were brimming with tears.
"It's the baby, Jason," she whispered as the first salty drops began to course down her cheeks. "Oh God, it's the baby! It moved!"
Another whisper-soft punch hit his middle, and Jason began to laugh in stunned delight. He hugged Kat close, trying to squeeze her as hard as he could and at the same time being as careful with her as if he were handling the most delicate crystal. His own eyes were getting moist, but he didn't care; for the first time, their baby became real to them, no longer just some abstract entity that made Kat sick in the morning. The two looked at each other with shining eyes, all other considerations forgotten in the wonder of the moment. Their lips found each other again, and they kissed gently, tenderly, until they were out of breath.
"We have to tell our parents," Kat finally bubbled; she had been utterly miserable so long that she felt almost giddy with the sudden rush of unmitigated joy. She knew deep down that there would be other moments when the guilt and regrets would come back, but that didn't matter right now. Her baby was alive, it had moved within her, it was real!
"They're waiting for us at our new place," Jason reminded her with his most charming grin; something she hadn't seen for quite a while. He gave her another hug, then released her and bent to pick up his toolbox.
"Then what are we doing still here?" Kat asked, grinning back through her tears.
"I dunno; come on, Mommy -- let's go home!"
"Yes. Home."
Hand in hand, the two parents-to-be left the empty apartment, neither one
looking back.
~*~
"Jason, are you finished with that bookcase yet?" Kat called over the soft sound of her favorite CD. She had washed the last of the good stemware and was carefully arranging it in a glass cabinet the senior Scotts had given them when they'd moved in. She stepped back and admired the way the autumn sun caught the facets in the sparkling crystal; they'd been right to move the cabinet from beside the door next to the stereo.
"Jason?"
There still was no answer. After two days of moving furniture, unpacking and storing, both Kat and Jason were heartily sick of the whole affair, especially since Kat could not pull her full weight with lifting and moving heavy things. Their parents had helped as much as possible, but the distribution of their belongings had to be done by themselves for greatest ease. Now only their books needed to be unpacked; the last two crates sat stacked against the wall, waiting for Jason to finish reassembling the large bookcase he'd had at his bachelor lodgings. It was supposed to go between the two windows overlooking a small lawn with benches and flowerbeds; while it wasn't the more lavish view of the park Kat had enjoyed from her old apartment, it was still pleasant. The mountains made a nice backdrop in the far distance, too. Kat was waiting with a bottle of lemon-scented polish to rub down the shelves once more -- after nearly three months of being stored in pieces in the Scotts' garage, a simple washing just wasn't going to be enough.
Kat closed the glass doors of the cabinet and stretched a bit; her back complained more than usual about her activities today. Well, she had been rather busy; maybe later tonight she could take a nice, relaxing bath and persuade Jason to give her another backrub; she always slept better after receiving one.
Thinking of that brought her mind back to her errant husband; what was taking him so long? If he needed a hand, he would've called; Jason wasn't so macho as to insist on doing things alone that needed another pair of hands.
Kat wandered into the small hallway and made her way to the empty room where the nursery was supposed to go; there was no need to furnish it quite yet, and they used it as extra space to work in until everything else was in its proper place. The only thing already finished were the white wa lls with their hand-stencilled border of animals reaching from the floor to about waist-height -- perfect for a small child to look at. Jaason had grinned in delight when Kat had worked a red T-Rex among the bunnies, cats and horsies; there was a black mastodon among the cows and both a red and a green dragon were cavorting among the flying ducks and geese. All the animals representing the Ranger teams -- from Dino through Thunder up to Ninja -- could be found, as well as the six Zeo symbols if one knew what to look for. It had taken her the better part of the last two weekends, but the effect was charming and unusual.
As she pushed the door open, Kat felt the baby shift within her, and as always she paused and had to smile. Ever since that first time the day before yesterday, she had been filled with a quiet serenity that was a welcome change from the unease of the weeks before. And Jason seemingly couldn't keep his hands off her; he tried to touch the growing bulge of her stomach every chance he got, waiting for movement inside. Now, however, Kat saw him crouching among several planks of blond wood, only two already fitted together properly. Jason absently smoothed his hand over another board, the plastic container with screws and nails lying on its side before him, the contents spilled. He didn't look up at her entrance; actually, he didn't seem to notice her presence at all.
"Jason?" she asked once more, stepping into the airy but empty room. They needed to go looking for baby furniture soon, if they wanted it delivered right after the new year, she thought absently. "Didn't you hear me?"
"Huh?"
Jason looked up with a start, then blushed slightly as he saw Kat only a few feet away from him. He bent immediately back to the boards he was assembling, fumbling for the screwdriver and another screw, but not before Kat had seen the sad shadows haunting his eyes. Slowly, she crossed the remaining distance and sank to her knees as gracefully as she could with her swelling stomach. She stilled his suddenly unsteady hands with one of her own.
"What is it?" They'd grown closer ever since that moment when they'd experienced the first movements of their child together, no longer trying to maintain a certain distance.
"Nothing," Jason mumbled, not meeting his wife's eyes, but not terribly surprised when Kat snorted lightly.
"Yeah, right. What's bothering you?" Kat asked outright, in a no-nonsense, don't-give-me-that tone. For all her soft-spokenness, there was nothing meek about Katherine Hillard Scott, and sometimes she managed to catch even her family and friends by surprise when she let her backbone show. He smiled sheepishly.
"Nothing's bothering me, exactly," he said after a moment's pause. "It's just ... I was trying to sort the boards in the proper order when I accidentally tipped the can with the screws," Jason admitted, pointing to the spilled bits of metal. "The same thing happened when I first bought the bookcase; Tommy and Rocky were helping me set it up, and we were just sort of horsing around when one of us -- I don't even remember who it was, exactly -- kicked over the box they'd come in, and they scattered all over the place. The three of us had one devil of a time collecting them all, especially on the patterened carpet I had ..." the deep voice trailed off, and Kat had to swallow, hard.
It was precisely the sort of easy camaraderie with their friends that was missing from their lives now, and she knew exactly why Jason had become lost in his memories. And what had brought the misery into his expression. Tentatively, she reached out once more, touching her husband's shoulder in a brief gesture meant to comfort.
"I understand," was all she could say, though. She missed Tanya dreadfully as well, but normally it was Jason who consoled her and helped her over the rough spots. He tried to shield her from his own sense of loss at their friends' withdrawal as much as possible, so it was easy for her to forget most of the time that she wasn't the only one suffering from their isolation. This was just as hard on Jason as it was on her.
The two shared a tentative smile. Their relationship still was somewhat strained, and fragile despite their friendship, and even after nearly two months of marriage it wasn't easy to cope with their altered circumstances. Then, Kat visibly collected herself. Better to change the subject before they got completely maudlin on each other.
"I'm finished with the cabinet. Everything else has been unpacked, washed and stowed except for those two crates of books, and we need this thing for that."
"Give me half an hour, and I"ll have it ready for you," Jason promised, scooping up the spilled screws and nuts and reaching for his screwdriver once more. Deliberately, he closed his mind to memories of his friends and the fun they'd shared once, in what now seemed like another lifetime. He cast a glance at Kat and her slightly exhausted expression. "Why don't you make us some tea, or fix cold drinks, get out some of the cookies I know Mom left for us and put your feet up? You look like you could need the rest," he suggested quietly as he expertly joined a second board to the frame structure.
For a moment, Kat was tempted to accept, then she noted that Jason's eyes were shadowed with more than memories; he'd worked hard these last few days, and even his great strength was beginning to wane. Their fathers had helped as much as they could, but a lot of the sheer bulk of physical work had fallen to Jason ... or he'd taken it on himself. No matter; it was enough for the young woman to reach for the next shelf, lifting it in position to be fastened.
"Why don't I give you a hand with this, and we'll take that break together?" she retorted, grinning slightly at the surprised look Jason gave her.
"I don't want you to overtax yourself ..." he began, but Kat mock-glared him into silence.
"I'm pregnant, not decrepit. These boards aren't made out of stone, you know; I'm still carrying grocery bags which are heavier than these. But if you insist, you can sort in all the books by yourself once we're done. Alphabetically and according to size."
Jason groaned in pretend horror, but gave in gracefully enough. Truth be told, he enjoyed having Kat around and doing things together with her; the light banter they exchanged while reassembling the bookcase was far better than getting lost in his memories of shared work with his best friend again. Besides, he'd be done more quickly with another pair of hands.
"That's it," he declared some time later, rattling the completed bookcase slightly to test its stability. "Thanks for your help, kitten; I think I would've needed it anyway." Kat curtsied slightly, a satisfied smile playing around her lips. All that remained to be done now was to polish the light wood, sort in the books, hang the last few pictures and their apartment would be finished. But, she was more than ready for a break. Together, the young couple made their way to the living room where she sank onto the couch with a satisfied groan.
"Give me a minute, and I'll put on the tea," she murmured, rolling
her shoulders to work a few of the kinks out.
Before Jason could answer, the doorbell rang. He exchanged a puzzled glance with Kat. It was Sunday afternoon; hardly anyone knew they'd moved, and their folks had left shortly after lunch. Who could that be? Shrugging, Jason went to answer the door while Kat enjoyed a few more moments of her comfortable sprawl before she heaved herself to her feet again. She quickly looked around critically. Except for the two book crates near the far wall, the room was fit for company. Besides, they'd only just moved in. So what if not everything was perfectly placed?
She heard the hallway door open, muffled voices say something, then Jason ushered their visitors inside. His face was expressionless as he announced their presence.
" Look who's come, Kat."
The blonde stiffened slightly as she recognized the man and woman entering the room.
"Trini; Zack."
"In the flesh," the young Asian woman smiled. She handed Katherine a prettily-wrapped parcel. "For your new home; may you never run out of these while living here."
Puzzled, Kat accepted the present. Jason only shrugged at her questioning glance, then helped Trini out of her coat. While her husband hung it up in the hallway closet and disappeared in the kitchen to put on the tea kettle, the Australian motioned their unexpected guests to sit. They exchanged idle chitchat for some time -- mostly 'how have you been/what were you up to' kind of information. Kat had never been all that close to the first Yellow and Black Rangers, although they'd met before; Trini and Zack had always been more Jason's friends than hers, while she and Tommy had tended to hang out more with the Zeo/Turbo team members.
The tea kettle whistled, and Jason excused himself to vanish into the kitchen. The sudden silence between Kat and their visitors threatened to become awkward, and to cover it, Kat reached for the present Trini had given her and undid the bright bow. Just as Jason returned with a tray of mugs, steaming teapot, lemon juice, sugar and cream, she lifted a cotton-cloth bag with a drawstring out of the box. There was a strip sewn on with the word "Bread" embroidered in antique script, and as she opened the drawstring, Kat found a fresh loaf of home-baked bread inside. Thoroughly mystified, she next picked up a packet of salt crystals, together with a pepper-and-salt mill set. The last item was a pretty picture frame that held exactly $3.82 -- two each of crisp new one-dollar notes, shin y 50-cent coins, quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies. Trini had arranged the money so that both faces were shown against a background of dark blue.
"It's a custom a delegate from Austria explained to me at the Peace Conference," Trini explained. "It's a very old tradition in the Germanic countries, and represents the essentials a household needed in the old times."
"Of course," Kat realized, a delighted smile spreading over her face. "Money, food and a little bit of both luxury and preservation, symbolized by the salt. It's lovely, Trini -- thank you very much."
"We didn't know what else you might need for your household, so Trini remembered this custom," Zack grinned. "It seemed ... fitting."
"It's a great thought," Jason agreed. "But, how did you know we'd already moved, and ... what brings you here? I'd written both of you months ago!" He hadn't meant to be so blunt, but the question just slipped out; he'd puzzled often enough about his old friends' silence. Kim's terse note conveying her disapproval hadn't been unexpected, given her attitude towards Tommy, but he'd hoped Trini and Zack would at least acknowledge his message.
"I've been back East all summer," Zack apologized. "I got your letter just as I was about to leave, and didn't want to say something in haste we all would regret later."
"And I wanted to talk to Zack before I saw you," the petite Asian added quietly. While there was no apparent censure in her voice, the implied hesitancy was enough to make all four young people fall silent. Kat once more felt a rush of tears come on, but determinedly fought it down. A quick glance at her husband showed her that Jason had gone pale under his tan, and that he was bracing himself as if preparing for a blow. He didn't need her falling apart on him.
"You two messed up big time," Zack said finally, coming directly to the point. Before either Jason or Kat could react, he held up a hand to forestall any comment. "Trini and I talked this over, and we're more or less of the same opinion. I'm only going to mention this once ... and please, listen to what we're going to say before you answer, okay?" The dark-skinned man had seldom sounded so serious. Drawing a deep breath, he continued.
"The way you told it in your letter, Jase, the two of you never meant to do anything to hurt Tommy or anyone else. Well, for the record, I -- we -- believe you. You're just not the kind of person to deliberately do something like that to anybody." He met both Jason and Kat's eyes unflinchingly.
"That goes for you, too, Katherine," Trini added with a slight smile. "While we haven't known each other that well or that long, I've always had the impression of you that you're a decent, caring person. Besides, I doubt Kim would have selected you as her successor or Zordon have approved you if it were different."
Despite the situation, Kat found herself blushing lightly with pleasure at the compliment. However, Zack wasn't finished with what he wanted to say.
"So the two of you made a mistake. Okay. We all have, every now and then, and we probably will again. That's part of being Human. Sure, not all of them reach quite the proportion of yours," he grinned slightly to take some of the sting away, "but that's no reason for me -- Trini and me -- to stop being friends with you."
"Being friends means that we stand by each other, even if someone does something wrong," Trini continued. "So, while we can't pretend to understand what went wrong, Zack and I think that since it happened at all and can't be undone, all we can do now is pick up the pieces and go on from here. Together -- as friends, as always. If you want us to, that is."
"Want you to?" Jason managed to say, almost choked up with relief. "Guys, if you only knew what this means to us ...!"
" I ... oh God, I ..." Kat lost it then after all. Her tears spilled over and she turned away, sniffling, only to find herself gathered in a friendly hug by Trini, who pressed a tissue into her hand. This was so much more than they had anticipated after the long silence from Jason's oldest friends, that it was almost too much to bear.
"I can imagine," Trini said in her calm manner, her understanding look both enveloping Kat and Jason. "Has anyone of the gang been there for you at all?"
"Tanya was here a couple of weeks ago," Kat gulped, groping for composure. "She says she still wants to be my friend, but since Adam is pretty upset with us, she can't go completely against his wishes. Rocky ...."
"Rocky's on Tommy's side, and so is Kimberly," Jason added somberly. "Billy's been out of the loop since he went to Aquitar and the Power Chamber's been destroyed, and contact with Aisha is so rare, she might as well have gone to another planet, too. It's not her fault, really, but ... we don't even know if she's received Kat's message yet."
The two visitors nodded in comprehension. While everybody regretted the absence of their friends, it was nothing they could change. Sometimes, life just turned out that way.
"About as we expected," Zack said after exchanging a glance with Trini. "Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, the subject of what happened is now closed."
"Right," Trini agreed. "We have to look forward, not back. What's done is done, and I hope that eventually everything will resolve itself so that we can all live with each other again."
"I hope so, too," Kat said fervently, summoning a grateful smile for the two former Rangers. She felt Jason reach for her hand and she laced her fingers with his, finding comfort in the familiar contact. The four sat silently for a while, sipping their tea and lost in their respective thoughts. At last, Zack bounced up in his characteristic manner and punched Jason lightly in the shoulder.
"Well, now that that's out of the way, is there anything we can help you with? We may no longer live in Angel Grove, but as long as we're here, you might as well make the most of it."
Grateful for the change in subject, Jason grinned at his old friend as he got up too and dragged him towards the hallway.
"Since you're here, you can help me carry a bookcase from the nursery to over there," he said, pointing. "I could use some more muscle."
"So the only thing you need me for is my brawn, huh?" Zack teased,
but followed Jason out of the room willingly enough. The two women smiled at
the banter floating back to them, interspersed with some creative cursing as
the two young men maneuvered the large, unwieldy piece of furniture into place.
Trini gave Kat a hand in rubbing down the shelves, and the four of them soon
were engaged in unpacking and sorting the books. What would have taken Jason
and Kat the bulk of the afternoon and early evening on their own was now
completed within a couple of hours. Afterwards, they even hung up the pictures
that had been left for a later day, thus sparing Kat a lot of time standing on
her feet or climbing up a ladder -- not a good idea in her condition.
As the sun had set behind the mountains and the living room was bathed in soft lamplight, the four friends ordered takeout and relaxed in the congenial atmosphere. After removing the dishes to the kitchen, Trini looked approvingly around the apartment as she reentered the living room. Kat had chosen mostly earth tones to decorate; the off-white walls, pine and rattan furniture and the light-grey carpet were livened up by muted blues of curtains and lampshades. Throw pillows in a soft vanilla yellow brought a splash of sunshiny color to the decor, and toned down the French Provincial floral pattern of Kat's old couch and armchairs. The rust color of Jason's comfortable lounge chair was picked up by terracotta pots and a few other accessories, and the whole atmosphere was a pleasing blend of Jason's more rugged pine furniture and Kat's feminine knickknacks, suiting both quite well.
"I really like what you've done here," the first Yellow Ranger commented. "It's lovely; all it needs now are some plants."
"They're still at my folks'," Kat replied, pleased. "We'll get them next week."
"Good," Zack agreed with a mischievous grin. "We were afraid to come into the color clash to end all color clashes -- bright red and pink, accented by black and gold."
"Oh God, no!" Kat shuddered. The vision was too horrible to contemplate for long.
"You know, I've often wondered what would've happened if we'd been wearing different colors that day when Zordon first picked us," Trini mused. "I know I've worn yellow before, but never to the exclusion of almost all other colors."
"Uh huh," Jason nodded. "After we'd been given our Ranger Powers, I"ve found myself almost unable to wear anything but red. I felt totally uncomfortable if didn't have at least one piece of red clothing on me somewhere -- even if it was just underwear. It drove my mom completely nuts -- she either had to constantly wash my shirts and stuff, or she was wondering why I suddenly started buying a lot of red duds."
"You mean, it was like a compulsion?" Kat wondered."I never really noticed since I've always worn lots of pink ever since I was a little girl; becoming the Pink Ranger seemed to be perfectly natural."
"Just think, you might have been the Purple Ranger, Zack," Trini giggled. "If you'd been wearing that tie-dye shirt you had the day Rita escaped ...!"
Jason groaned.
"Don't remind me! If we'd been on the sports field instead of the Youth Center, we guys could all have been wearing our soccer jerseys -- bright yellow and purple!"
"Or the football uniforms -- blue and silver," Zack snickered. "Well, at least Billy would still have been the Blue Ranger; did he ever wear anything but those terrible overalls in those days?"
The four lost themselves in reflections about possible different color schemes for the Rangers for a while, then ranging from one conversational topic to the next and generally having a good time until it was time for Zack and Trini to leave. They were both staying with their families for the night, but intended to leave very early to return to their homes in San Diego and Berkeley, respectively. Kat and Jason watched them go with mingled feelings of delight and relief.
"Seems like we have at least some friends left," Jason remarked as he helped Kat clear the glasses and leftover snacks from the living room.
"At least you have," she commented a bit sadly. Jason stopped what he was doing and took Kat in his arms. Tilting her face up to his, he kissed her on the tip of her nose and smiled encouragingly.
"They're perfectly willing to be your friends as well, if you let them, Kat," he reassured his wife.
"I know. It's just ... I can't help but wish that my teammates could've been as accepting as Trini and Zack," she whispered, unable to stop a lone tear from rolling down her cheek. Jason brushed the liquid diamond drop away with his thumb and hugged her close. Burying his face in the silvery locks, he offered what comfort he could.
"At least it's a beginning, kitten," Jason murmured huskily. "First Tanya, now Trini and Zack ... maybe in time, we'll get our friends back."
"I miss them," Kat sighed as she leaned against Jason's solid chest. The long day with its surprise ending had sapped her strength."All of them."
"So do I, but we can't give up hope. Not now."
Both knew that Tommy's name hovered unspoken between them, but in silent agreement they didn't mention it. The peace they'd found with each other this weekend was still too new, too fragile to cope with a third presence in their relationship.
"Is there? Hope, I mean?" Kat asked wistfully as she followed Jason into their bedroom.
"There's always hope. We're Power Rangers -- or were, in any case. With the Rangers, anything's possible. We just have to believe."
"If you can, then I can too," the young woman smiled bravely.
Jason returned the sentiment by pulling Kat into his arms once they were under
the covers. Holding her close, he soothingly stroked her back until he felt the
slim body relax in sleep next to him, but despite his earlier words it was a
long time until he was able to follow suit.
Kat slowly walked towards the escalators. She'd also purchased a few delicacies for Christmas Day breakfast; while the Scotts had invited them and Kat's parents for a traditional American Christmas dinner, the younger couple wanted to start the day somewhat specially for themselves as well. After all, with a baby on the way, they couldn't afford to go out to dinner very often even though they were both working. Said baby made its presence known with a stronger than usual kick, catching Kat by surprise. Wincing a little, she became aware that she'd been on her feet longer than she'd thought she would be; some of the lines at the various counters had been rather long.
The mother-to-be checked her watch. *There's time yet; Jason won't be back for a while, so it won't matter if I have a hot chocolate before I head back home .* There was a small café right across the floor, and Kat saw that a few kids were just about to vacate a table. *Perfect! Now if I can only make it there before someone else comes ...* With a little more haste than her condition properly allowed, Kat carefully but determinedly pushed her way through the shopping crowds, intent only on reaching the small table. That was how she managed to overlook the middle-aged woman backing out of a bakery, still talking to the clerk holding the door open for her. The two inadvertantly collided; the older woman nearly let her carton of cake drop and Kat just barely managed not to stumble, catching herself on the stranger's arm.
"I'm terribly sorry, I didn't mean to ..." --- "Oh my goodness, are you all right? Have you ..."
Both women started to apologize simultaneously, and both broke off whatever they were going to say as soon as they got a good look at the other. Kat felt the blood drain from her cheeks in an inexorable rush as she straightened and balanced herself. Swallowing hard, she forced a name past her suddenly constricted throat.
"Mrs. Oliver."
It used to have been "Rachel", but Kat wasn't brave enough to address Tommy's mother so familiarly. Not anymore.
"Katherine."
The older woman's normally cheerful voice was devoid of emotion, but the look she swept up and down Kat's form, lingering longest on her by-now rather prominent belly, was speaking volumes -- none of them friendly or even charitable. Had she been able, Kat would've sunk into a hole in the ground. She had always enjoyed a warm camaraderie with Tommy's mother, often meeting her for plain companionship even when Tommy wasn't around, but had lost all contact with her right after the breakup. Small wonder, really, considering how much Rachel Oliver loved and cared for her adopted son. It was that which made the usually friendly hazel eyes icy and full of contempt, an expression that sent cold shivers down Kat's spine.
"Is the child hurt in any way?"
The child; not 'are you okay' or anything even remotely personal. Well, she didn't deserve it anyway, Kat thought, nearly overwhelmed with a fresh surge of guilt and shame -- emotions that had slowly faded into the background now that she and Jason were beginning to grow closer as they were getting closer to the birth of their baby.
"N-no, I'm fine," Kat stammered, her pallor making way for a blush that was painful in its intensity. She didn't know where to look, but something compelled her to continue meeting those cold, angry eyes.
"Well. In that case, good-bye. Merry Christmas."
"M-merry C-christmas," Kat whispered, flinching at the harshly-spoken
holiday wish that sounded more like a condemnation to her ears than anything
else. Blue eyes watched the retreating back until they became blurry with
tears. The young woman stood motionless in the sea of shoppers, silvery
rivulets streaming down her cheeks unnoticed, until a concerned young voice
released her from her paralysis.
"Ma'am?" A hand touched her arm, shaking her carefully.
"W-what?"
"Are you okay, ma'am?" A teenager stood before her, gazing at her with a mixture of curiosity and concern. "Can I help you with anything? Do you need to sit down?"
Kat mentally shook herself and dredged up a ghost of a smile. Stepping back from the helpful girl, she searched for and finally found her voice.
"No, but thank you. I'm all right."
"Are you sure, ma'am? Should I walk you to your car? Or maybe call a taxi?"
"That's unnecessary. Thank you," Kat reiterated. Before the
helpful teen could say another word, she turned away and blindly walked towards
the escalators, forgetting about her hot drink and retaining just enough
presence of mind to watch her steps. Afterwards she couldn't say how she
managed to get out of the mall, find her car and drive safely home without
causing an accident, but somehow she did it. Letting herself into the
apartment, she dropped her bags next to the door and trudged into the living
room where she collapsed bonelessly on the couch. The sobs came then, wracking
her body as all her pain and remorse that she had believed she'd overcome in
recent weeks overwhelmed her again.
Tommy's mother ... a friend, despite the difference in their ages ... but no more. Kat shuddered. She would never have believed that someone as outgoing as Rachel could have expressed so much contempt and dislike with just a look and less than a dozen words. She felt like the lowest scum. The only times Kat could remember ever experiencing a similar rush of guilt was right after she'd shaken off Rita's spell ... and while confessing to Tommy she was carrying Jason's child.
*Jason! Oh my God ... he can't see me like this! He' s been looking forward to Christmas so much ...*
Suddenly frantic, Kat checked the time. Her husband would be home within the hour; as fast as possible, she pushed her roiling emotions to the back of her mind and proceeded to hide the evidence of her crying jag along with the small rectangular box she'd so proudly collected only a few short hours ago. When Jason came home, full of Christmas cheer and showed off the poster the youngest kids had painted for his office, Kat was able to comment appropriately, hiding under a mask of forced gaiety. For once, Jason was less perceptive than usual, not picking up on her tension and strained mood. Although that was precisely the effect Kat had hoped to achieve, irrationally it made her edgy and irritable. She hid that as well, and the two spent a quiet evening watching old Christmas specials on TV while they wrapped the presents they'd bought for their families.
At long last, it was time to call it a night. Kat's facial muscles hurt from
forcing a smile, but as she lay in the darkness listening to Jason's even
breaths as he slept peacefully beside her, the tears came again as she
involuntarily recalled Rachel's look. Not even Tanya's phonecall earlier,
Trini's funny Christmas card or the fact that Aisha had finally been
heard from, cautiously pledging her support to Kat, had been able to make her
forget; if anything, they had brought back the feelings of isolation and
resentment she'd thought she'd learned to overcome. Sighing, the blonde crept
out of bed and back into the living room. Fetching a blanket from the hallway
closet, Kat curled up miserably on the couch, staring unseeingly at the
gaily-decorated Christmas tree with its twinkling white lights as the night
crawled towards morning at a snail's pace.
"Merry Christmas, kitten!"
Kat moaned as she burrowed deeper into her blankets; she'd sat up until the first rays of dawn had appeared over the mountains, and only the cold had driven her back to bed. Her eyes were swollen from the tears she'd shed intermittently throughout the night, and gritty with fatigue.
"Wake up, sleepyhead; Santa Claus was here and left a present or two for us!"
The insanely cheerful voice of her oblivious husband instantly set Kat's teeth on edge. She didn't care if Santa, the eight reindeer and all his elves did a striptease right on their coffee table, she wanted -- needed -- more sleep before she could face the world! What time was it, anyway?
"Go 'way," she muttered as she tried to draw her blanket over her head in an attempt to block out the morning light. However, Jason wouldn't let her; instead, he sat down next to her and lifted the fluffy covers to plant a teasing kiss on her cheek. Kat frowned; she wasn't in the mood for this -- couldn't he see?
Apparently not; the insensitive clod had the audacity to yank the warm cocoon open and pull her into his arms. It was all Kat could do not to groan in annoyance. Laughing, Jason ruffled her long hair into an even bigger state of disarray. *I HATE that! I really do!*
" Jason...!" she growled warningly, trying to pry her sleep-heavy eyelids open.
"Come on, kitten, don't be such a grouch! It's Christmas, and I have a surprise for you. Please?"
Kat stifled another moan as she saw Jason's hopeful expression. The dark eyes were alight with anticipation, and despite her lingering misery, Kat couldn't quite bring herself to spoil his mood. Inhaling deeply to tamp down on her irritation, she summoned a smile for his benefit.
"Okay, okay, I'm coming. Just give me a second to wake up completely, will you?"
"Sure. Take your time; I'll wait for you by the tree, okay?"
"Hmm." Kat shivered in the morning coolness. It had taken her some time to get used to an unheated bedroom; in deference to her, Jason compromised by leaving the window closed at least in winter, but it was still a far cry from the snug warm bedroom of her single days. Her momentary good cheer evaporated again as she rummaged in her closet for a warm bathrobe. Pulling the pink garment over her flannel nightgown, Kat tightened the belt, stepped into her slippers and drew a brush perfunctorily through her mussed-up hair. Looking into the dresser mirror, she grimaced at the sight greeting her. Face pale, eyes red and puffy, a large belly poking out as if she'd swallowed a medicine ball ... truly a beautiful thing to behold first thing in the morning. *Yeah, right.* Kat had never felt so much like a scrooge before.
"Christmas. Bah humbug," the young woman grumped. Tired and irritated as the memories of her nightly vigil came back, she impatiently turned away from her reflection. Casting a last, longing look at her bed, she slowly padded across the sand-colored carpet towards the living room. As Kat opened the door, her senses were assailed by several things at o nce. The tantalizing aroma of freshly-brewed coffee, pine, eggs and toast teased her nose as the cheery sounds of Christmas carols from the stereo reached her ears. Out of the corner of her eyes Kat noticed the sparkle and glitter of the red-and-gold baubles on the Christmas tree, and in the small dining nook, Jason stood, waiting for her with a broad smile as he gestured grandly towards the festively decorated table set for two.
"Merry Christmas, Kat."
Momentarily speechless, Kat stared at the place settings. Jason had gone all out -- a white tablecloth *My best damask! What has he done with it?* gathered up at the corners with two-inch-wide red bows *They' re crooked! Doesn't he know how to tie a proper bow?*, lots of fresh pine boughs, cones, small red apples, nuts and gold glitter scattered over the tabletop, and the flames of three fat, squat red candles reflected merrily from the sparkling crystal of her best wine glasses, which were filled with orange juice. White china and silver flatware were set off by green napkins, and Jason had arranged toast, butter, jam, honey, a jug of milk and four kinds of cereal within easy reach on a small side table he'd moved from beside the couch. It, too, was covered with ....
"My grandmother's lace cloth! Jason, are you out of your mind? That's a family heirloom!"
Kat quickly strode towards the side table. The delicate fabric would have pooled on the floor, since it was intended for a much larger table, but Jason had caught the excess length with another wide red bow and tied it around the center pedestal.
"Oh God, the cherry jam has dripped! I need to soak it right away before the stains settle ..!"
The young woman was about to remove all items to the floor when Jason caught her hands. Some of the joy had left his eyes as he gently admonished her.
"Kat .... kitten, can't it at least wait until after breakfast? The eggs and toast will get cold, and the coffee .."
"You know I don't eat scrambled eggs; they have way too much cholesterol." Kat cast a brief glance at the dish as she impatiently freed her hands. "They're swimming in fat, too; what did you do, use half the bottle of oil?" Jason recoiled slightly, taken aback by surprise, her uncharacteristic vehemence and her indifference to his efforts. Kat didn't notice; she was too intent on rescuing her precious tablecloth. Undeterred, she knelt and untied the satin ribbon, throwing it indifferently aside. Shoving the breakfast paraphernalia at Jason, who was hard-pressed to deposit them wherever he could, Kat inspected the delicate white material. Finding nothing but the dime-size red spot, she breathed a sigh of relief and awkwardly got up again.
"I think I can get it out," she announced, relieved, but Jason didn't react. Curious, Kat looked at him. He was still holding the last cereal box which had found no place on the now-crowded breakfast table. The lovingly if ineptly arranged decorations had had to be shoved aside helter-skelter as he had to find room for the things she'd thrust into his hands. She felt a momentary twinge of guilt, but dismissed it almost immediately. Kat yawned delicately. *I wonder -- if I have just a piece of toast, can I get back to bed?*
"Jason?"
"Yeah," he sighed. Dredging up a smile that didn't reach his eyes, he held out a hand. "Why don't you take a seat, and I'll get the coffee?"
Another surge of unreasoning resentment rose in Kat, and she was unable to stop it. It made her reply sharper than necessary.
"You know I can't drink coffee. It's bad for the baby. So's this," she added as she discovered a French goat milk cheese among the other foodstuffs. Jason had recommended she try it as she went to London, and she"d developed a taste for the delicacy . Unfortunately, it was made out of raw, unpasteurized milk, and her doctor had warned her about that."And meringues? Jason, I can't have stuff made out of egg whites right now! You know that!"
Her voice rose slightly, and Kat was aware of her growing hysteria; she knew she was handling this all wrong, knew that she should appreciate all the trouble Jason had gone to to surprise and pamper her, but she couldn't seem to help herself. Defiantly, she stood beside the dining table, refusing the seat her husband was offering.
"I'm sorry, I didn't think," Jason replied, his voice tight and controlled. He'd gotten up early this Christmas morning, leaving his wife sleeping quietly, and had arranged everything as best he knew how. That Kat had not spared a single thought for his efforts ... smarted. All she seemed to care about was that stupid tablecloth! So it had a stain -- what was the big deal? If necessary, they could take it to the cleaners ... "The coffee's decaf, by the way. I know at least that much."
"I don't like decaf; no matter what brand I buy, it always tastes bland and .... fake, somehow," Kat muttered in a surly voice, trying to control herself. Absently, her hands played with the evergreens and pine cones scattered on the table. As she shifted her weight, the sleeve of her terry robe brushed against one of the crystal goblets filled with juice. It wobbled slightly, and as she tried to catch it, she toppled it over completely. The delicate glass shattered on impact with the white plate, and bright yellow orange juice splattered all over the table. Kat let out a dismayed yelp.
"Oh no!" She jumped back involuntarily, bumping into the side table. It fell to the ground with a resounding crash, and as Kat instinctively reached out to save her lace cloth, it caught on a corner and tore with a rasping sound that seemed to fill the sudden silence left by the muted 'click' as the CD player turned itself off that very moment. Horrified, Kat stared at the now-ruined lace, at Jason, at the mess on the table and promptly burst into tears.
Sighing wearily, Jason drew her away from the small chaos and pressed her face into his shoulder. He held her as Kat cried noisily, like a little girl. He said nothing, just waited for her sobs to quiet down, as he surveyed the sorry remnants of what was supposed to be a cheerful Christmas brunch. All that time and effort wasted ... he'd gotten the idea from a woman's magazine one of his students had left at the dojo, and while he'd had no intention to buy the expensive decorations pictured in the layout, Jason had tried to duplicate it as best he could with what they had and a little ingenuity. Surprisingly, he'd had a lot of fun planning the small feast, buying the ribbons and napkins, setting the table ... and Kat hadn't even really looked at it. Now it was too late; everything was ruined. Jason swallowed a bitter laugh and a snide remark. Today was Christmas, their first as a married couple; he wanted to salvage as much of the holiday atmosphere as he could. He became aware that Kat was mumbling something through her tears, but it was muffled by his sweatshirt. He drew back slightly.
"What?"
Kat sobbed again, and sniffled inelegantly; despite his disappointment and slight resentment at Kat's indifference towards his efforts, Jason had to grin at the watery sound. He gently lifted her tear-blotched face from his shoulder and tried to look into the stormy blue eyes. He had little success.
"I ... this morning is so horrible; I slept hardly at all last night, I'm cold, tired, I want some eggs and meringue and goat cheese, and real coffee, and I can't have any of it because of the stupid baby, and last year was so wonderful ... Tommy took me to brunch at the Marriott, it was so elegant and sophisticated ... all white and silver and pink, and waiters to serve us, and champagne and a smoked fish platter and a fresh fruit buffet, and all sorts of pastry, and ..."
Kat rambled on, caught up in her memories and in the effort of controllling her tears, and didn't even notice that Jason had stiffened next to her. Only as his powerful arms fell away from her body and he took a step away from her did her rush of words die down.
" ...and every table had silver candlesticks and flower arrangements, and Tommy didn't let me get my own food at all, but was a perfect gentleman and served me all morning and .... Jason?" With her sleeve, Kat wiped ineffectually at her drying cheeks. "What's wrong?"
The handsome face had turned deathly white. Only Jason's dark eyes seemed to burn like coals as he looked at his wife with a mixture of pain and fury. The deep voice shook with suppressed emotion as he let his own frustrations show for once.
"Maybe you should have waited for Tommy, then," Jason rasped hoarsely. "If he was such a gentleman, why did he always call me to take you out? Why didn't you refuse to go out with me? If you'd done that, you wouldn't have to deal with such primitive things as homemade decorations, or me, or most of all our 'stupid baby'!"
He turned away, breathing deeply to regain control of his temper. He could deal with anything thrown at him, but Kat had no right to say something like that about their unborn child! Jason felt a deep wave of love and protectiveness well up within him at the thought of the little being they had created. Even though it was still safely ensconced in Kat's womb, he loved feeling it shift and kick under his hands through the smooth skin of his wife's belly. Once again, he vowed to himself that he'd do everything in his power to see that their child -- his child -- would get all he had to give, and then some. But right now, he needed something for himself -- time ... and distance. He had to get out before he said something to Kat that couldn't be undone later. *For the baby,* Jason reminded himself as he faced Kat again, feeling his anger return full force. For once unmoved by her stricken expression, his eyes were as cold as his voice.
"I'm not Tommy. I'll never be Tommy. Maybe it's time you got that into your skull. I'm the man who married you, the father of the child you carry, even if you choose to forget that half the time. Stop whining for the past, stop comparing me to him, and most of all, stop behaving like a spoiled brat! Merry Christmas!"
Jason didn't wait for an answer. Deliberately ignoring Kat's shock at his outburst,
he stormed past her, grabbed his jacket and keys, and slammed the door behind
him. While it had felt ... good ... to rip loose for once, he'd already said
more than he wanted to, and it was better he left before they damaged their
relationship -- what there was of it -- beyond repair. Throwing himself into
his car, he jammed the keys into the ignition and drove off.
A movement within her body reminded her that she'd been on her feet quite a bit, and wearily she made her way over to the couch, sinking into the soft upholstery. Absently, Kat drew up her legs and draped the blanket left there from her nightly sojourn over herself to ward off a pervading chill that had nothing to do with the room temperature, but came from right inside her.
*What have I done? Why did I have to hurt him like this?*
She had no answer, not even for herself. Subconsciously, she'd known all the time that she was behaving badly, but Kat hadn't been able to stop herself. Some deeply-buried core of resentment -- that little nagging voice that clung so stubbornly to her feelings for her ex-boyfriend -- had broken free for once, no doubt coaxed forth by her chance run-in with Rachel Oliver yesterday, and ruined what could and should have been a cheery, peaceful morning.
*God, I hope nothing happens to Jason! The way he was driving ...*
Kat refused to follow that train of thought. Instead, she let her mind go completely blank, staring unseeingly at the slender real tree with its lovely decorations, a mixture of his'n'hers, old and new, which they'd had so much fun putting up two weeks ago. Slowly, she calmed down, managing to relegate images of Christmases past spent with Tommy and his family to the back of her mind where they belonged. Instead, Kat was assailed by impressions of the hurt and disappointment she'd been too blind to see in Jason's eyes. More tears threatened, but she refused to give in to the urge to cry. She'd done more than enough crying during the night and this morning already.
The blonde huddled miserably on the couch for a long, long time until she could persuade her weary body to move. Dragging herself into the bathroom, she showered listlessly and dreesed in a pair of warm leggings, sweat socks and long, oversize sweatshirt. The appliqué on the front drew a small, fleeting smile from her; Jason had found it so funny he'd given it to her for Thanksgiving. Four-inch high white letters on a pink background read "BABY" across her chest, and directly below was a bright blue arrow pointing directly downwards to her swollen stomach. Tying her hair in a loose ponytail, Kat trudged back into the living room. She had a mess to clear up.
Nibbling on a dry piece of toast and sipping at the second glass of orange juice -- more out of a sense of necessity than appetite -- Kat gathered up the cereal boxes and carried them into the kitchen. As she put them away and hunted for a tray to load with the breakfast things, Kat suddenly saw a magazine tucked behind her small collection of cookbooks. She pulled it out.
*'Home And Garden' ? I never bought that!* Puzzled, Kat thumbed through the pages. She couldn't imagine Jason reading, much less buying the periodical, but then suddenly a festive picture layout caught her eye. She took a closer look.
*So this is where he got the idea,* the expectant mother realized as she compared the lavishly decorated table in the article's illustration with what she remembered her own dining table had looked like earlier. The changes were rather obvious, but on the whole Kat had to admit her husband hadn t done too bad a job. It made her feel even worse. *He went to so much trouble, and I ruined it for him. Nice going, Hillard!* Well, it couldn't be undone; Kat could only hope Jason would accept her sincere apologies when he came back. Or whenever; she really couldn't blame him if he decided to stay out all day. Kat sighed deeply. How she was going to explain that to their folks, she had no idea. Leaving the magazine on the kitchen counter, she picked up the tray she'd come for. There was still work to do.
All the foodstuffs had been removed to the kitchen and either been disposed of or stored away in fridge and/or cupboards when Kat turned to the rest. She was just about to stack the dishes onto the tray, when she noticed a few differences in the two place settings. Where at Jason's place was a set of their everyday serviceable plain white china, at hers she found plate, cup and saucer of a much more delicate make. Kat picked up the elegantly shaped cup with suddenly trembling hands. Turning the fragile vessel over, she didn't really need to see the manufacturer's mark to verify that it was indeed something she'd admired in a shop window a while ago. She knew that the set had to have cost well over $50; it was most likely part of Jason's Christmas gift to her. She moaned quietly to herself. *What else was I too blind to notice?*
Kat had no answer as she carefully set the china aside and cleared the rest of the débris. Finished, she then sat down on the couch again and got out her sewing kit. She was still trying to painstakingly repair the tear in the antique lace cloth when she heard the front door open.
*Jason. God, please let him forgive me!*
It had been over three hours since he'd stormed out of the apartment; Jason let himself in and drew a deep breath. He'd driven aimlessly around for a while, until he'd ended up on the dunes outside of town. There was one spot overlooking the rocky shore below that had always been one of his favorite spots to think, and it was there that he'd sat for hours, letting the endless crash and swell of the surf below calm his troubled mind. Still his step was somewhat hesitant as he reentered the living room; a quick glance around showed him that Kat was curled up in her favorite corner with some sort of needlework, and that she'd already removed all traces of their ill-fated breakfast. Only the china set he'd bought with the intention of collecting a full service by and by was still on the dining table.
The silence between the two young people was almost deafening, both looking at each other with too-serious eyes. Kat's sapphire pools were still red-rimmed, and her pale lips were quivering with the need not to cry, but Jason resisted the impulse to just take her in his arms. Not like that; not this time.
Kat regarded Jason somewhat warily, trying to gauge his reaction. The expressive dark eyes for once were unreadable, but at least they no longer were cold and furious. But the pain she'd caused him however unintentionally was still visible in the tight set of his shoulders, the defensive posture as he leaned against the wall and the sharp lines around his mouth. From somewhere came an impulse to hurry over and smooth them away with a gentle kiss, but Kat lost it before she fully realised it had been there at all. Instead, she cleared her throat and said what she knew she must.
"I'm truly sorry. I was feeling out of sorts, and I took it out on you. You didn't -- don't -- deserve that."
The accented voice was very soft and small, but Jason could still hear an echo of the same pain he'd felt. His own voice was rough and a bit unsteady as he forced out a single question.
"Why, Kat? That's all I want to know -- why?"
She briefly produced a wry smile.
"Why was I out of sorts, or why was I such a bitch?"
Jason snorted lightly, feeling his spirit lift a fraction.
"Both, actually, if you don't mind." He slowly pushed away from the wall and made his way over to his armchair. Sitting down, he faced his wife. Earnestly, he searched the blue eyes. They were shadowed, but met his own unflinchingly. The direct gaze let him find his own ghost of a smile. "And 'bitch' is ... perhaps a bit much. Could we compromise on ...'shrew', maybe?"
"You're being very generous -- charitable even," Kat sighed, leaning back wearily. She carefully laid her needlework aside; she wanted no distraction right now. Briefly she wished that Jason would hold her, that she could confess from the security of his embrace, but knew it was not the right time to ask. *Maybe later*, she hoped fervently. Closing her eyes for a long moment to gather her thoughts, she once more made herself meet her husband's sad look.
"I ... I think it started yesterday, when I literally bumped into Rachel at the Mall," she began. At Jason's silent question, she clarified. "Tommy's mom. She didn't really say anything to me, but oh Jase, the look she gave me ... I felt like a complete cad. Not that I didn't deserve it, but ...." Kat's voice trailed off as she had to swallow hard. It still hurt to remember. A furtive glance at Jason showed that his eyes had softened some at her disclosure. It gave her the courage to continue, to tell him about the thoughts and feelings that had kept her awake most of the night.
" ...I know it's no excuse for the way I acted earlier, but when you woke me up this morning, I ...." the lightly-accented voice drifted off, slightly hoarse with talking so much and re-lived anguish. Kat bit her lip as she lifted her eyes to meet Jason's once more. He shook his head in exasperation.
" Kat, when will you learn to trust me? I can understand what you were feeling, and I see that I caught you at a really bad moment this morning, but why didn't you just tell me? Do you think I'm so insensitive that I wouldn't have understood? Couldn't you just have said, 'thank you, but please let me sleep some more, I had a bad night'? Or told me about running into Mrs. Oliver yesterday? I know what you're going through ... because I'm having a lot of the same feelings myself. I want to help you, but how can I do that if you won't let me?"
Jason's deep voice shook slightly with the intensity of his feelings. He was so right, and and every pain-filled word hit Kat like a blow -- even though they weren't said harshly.
"I ... I don't know," she choked out, fighting for composure. "There are times when I want to come to you, but then I think I can't tell you because you' re going through the same things, because I don' t want to bother you with my problems as well ..." Tears threatened anew, but Kat fought them down; she didn't want Jason to think that she was angling for sympathy. Not now.
"Oh Kat," her husband sighed, shook his head and lifted himself out of the armchair. Sitting down next to her, he took her cold hands in his, warming them with his own. "How is our marriage going to work if we can't confide in each other?" At her surprised look, he smiled a bit sheepishly. "There were times when I wanted to talk to you, about how much I miss having our friends around, but didn't for much the same reason you just gave me. And here I thought we decided we're in this together ..."
"W-we are, Jase," Kat whispered, her mood lifting slightly as she recognized the renewed warmth in his voice. Hesitantly, she freed one of her hands and lightly touched his cheek, a rare gesture of intimacy coming from her. A single teardrop escaped as Jason brushed his lips against her fingertips with a tiny smile. "I'm really, truly sorry. About the way I acted, about not trusting you enough -- you were right about that -- and most of all for the way I talked about our baby. It's not stupid; I'm just sick and tired of being pregnant -- of feeling fat, and clumsy, and all the other things. I never should have said that."
"No, you shouldn't,' Jason agreed gravely, but with a twinkle in his eyes. "And I shouldn't have run off like that, leaving you to deal with all the mess."
"I ... I didn't mind; oh Jason, you went to so much trouble with the table, and I didn't even really look at it before I ruined everything," she mourned. "And I never even thanked you for the china set, too; it's so lovely! You really shouldn' t have -- it's way too expensive!"
"Hey, at least it was something I knew you liked," he answered. "It has a long availability guarantee, so I won't have to think about buying stuff for you anytime soon --I'll just keep on collecting plates, and bowls, and cups, and ..."
The gentle teasing brought a slight giggle from Kat, and the two looked at each other, suddenly a bit shy now that the emotional storm was apparently past. Then, Jason reached out to her with another sigh that seemed to come from the soles of his feet. "C'mere, kitten."
Kat snuggled into the safety of his embrace, feeling the last of the tension slowly drain from her body as Jason soothingly stroked her back. "I'm sorry," she mumbled once more. The steady heartbeat she could feel under her cheek gave her the courage to look at him imploringly.
"Can you forgive me? Please?"
"Of course," Jason murmured back, kissing her forehead. He drew her more firmly in his arms, and they sat like that for a long time, lost in the closeness and renewed warmth. At one point, Kat couldn't help herself; shifting so that her body aligned itself more closely to Jason's solid frame, she impulsively gave voice to her thoughts.
"When you hold me like this, I always feel so safe, and ... cared for," she whispered; it had been on the tip of her tongue to say "loved", but Jason had never spoken the words to her, and they' d agreed they didn' t, so it was better to use the simpler, safer expression, wasn't it? "And then you have to let me go again, and all the doubts and fears and regrets come back ..."
"I know what you mean, but much as I might like to, it would be rather impractical if I went around hugging you like this all day," he rumbled, a hint of laughter back in his voice. This sort of confidence, of sharing, was exactly what he'd hoped for, what had been missing between them. As if on cue, before either could say anything else, Jason's stomach made its displeasure at being empty known with a fairly loud growl. Both started, Kat horrified at her negligence of Jason's needs, and he with a blush and sheepish smile. He shrugged apologetically. "Sorry."
Kat shook her head as she disentangled herself from Jason's arms and heaved herself off the couch.
"Jason, you .... I ..." words failed her. Suddenly, the lingering rest of tension in the atmosphere dissolved in a shared gust of laughter. The two embraced once more and Jason kissed his wife teasingly on the tip of her nose.
"Go and feed me, woman, or I won't give you the rest of your presents," he mock-threatened.
"Oh? Then I suppose you don't want to know what I have bought for you?" Kat shot back, feeling almost giddy with relief that this crisis was past. She laughed at the little-boy sparkle that suddenly lit the dark eyes. "Let me get you something to eat, and then we'll trade off. Sound like a plan?"
"The best I've heard all day," Jason agreed. He held the kitchen door open for her. Just as she was about to pass, he stopped her by cupping her cheek once more and kissing her lightly. "Merry Christmas, kitten."
Kat closed her eyes briefly, thankful that the warmth and affection were back in Jason's voice, and slightly ashamed as she realized she had yet to wish him the same. Well, better late than never. Her sapphire eyes shone as she looked back at her husband.
"Merry Christmas, Jason."
One last thing remained to be done -- she needed to cover the crib with a light sheet to keep off dust until its tiny occupant would settle in there. Kat ambled over to the linen closet in the bedroom. She seemed to be moving in slow motion all day, but somehow that was all right. As she stretched on her toes to reach the top shelf, she suddenly felt a sharp pain shoot from the small of her back into her womb.
"Oh!"
Instinctively, she looked at the nearest clock. 10.13 am -- Jason was at the
dojo, teaching, but she knew she could reach him instantly if something should
go wrong. She shook her head; the pain was gone now, but the timing was
certainly right -- she was only two days from her estimated due date -- so it
wasn't impossible that the baby would announce its readiness to come into the
world. Her heart began to beat a little faster. Well, she'd just have to wait
and see.
At a quarter to one, the phone rang at the Red Thunder Dojo. Jason picked up on the third ring. "Hello."
*"Jason? It's me, Kat. Can you come home?"*
Jason felt an icy hand clench around his heart. Kat's voice sounded normal enough, but ...
"Sure, kitten. Are ... are you okay?"
A tinkle of soft laughter came through the receiver.
*"Yes, I am. But I think you'd better get here if you want to drive me to the hospital."*
For almost a full minute, he couldn't speak as the import of Kat's words sank in. She seemed to understand what was going through his mind and didn't rush him, only her voice got even softer as she answered his stammered question.
"K-kat?!?"
*"Yes, Jase. I think I'm in labor."*
"I'll be there as soon as I can," he promised hoarsely, already grabbing for his car keys and signalling to his assistant.
*"Drive safely, you hear? Our baby will need a dad."*
Oh good God, he was going to be a father! Maybe even today! A totally different kind of fear than any he'd ever known enveloped Jason for a moment. He'd faced off with monsters and aliens, been in mortal danger more times than he could count during his two stints as a Ranger, and yet he'd never been as afraid as in this very instant. Then, his reason reasserted itself. He needed to bring Kat into a doctor's care -- all else could wait.
"I promise, Kat. I'm on my way now."
Even so, it was almost half past one as Jason opened the door to their apartment. He didn't know what he was supposed to expect, but certainly not his wife sitting comfortably on the couch, her legs stretched out before her, calmly munching an apple and watching a sitcom.
"We can go," Jason announced breathlessly, flinging his gym bag carelessly into a corner. Before he could do something ridiculously chivalrous, like carrying her to the car, Kat stopped him with a smile and a hand on his arm.
"Yes -- after you've showered and changed into proper clothes. Your gi is not the right wardrobe for hanging around a hospital all day."
"But ... but you said the baby's coming!" *How can she be so calm?*
Kat grinned; she couldn't help herself, while Jason tried to project an aura of confidence, she'd never seen him so quietly frazzled. He, the epitome of being always so calm and controlled!
"Relax, Jase," she laughed softly. "My contractions are still nine minutes apart, and my water hasn't broken yet. Remember Lamaze class? There's lots of time."
He drew a deep, centering breath. Kat was right, of course; besides, it wouldn't do to panic. However, as he reluctantly made his way to the bathroom, he admonished her to call out as soon as there should be a change in her well-being.
"I will, worrywart," Kat reassured him. "Now go take take that shower; the sooner you're finished, the sooner you can take me to the hospital."
"Yes, ma'am!" Jason threw a snappy salute, making his wife giggle,
and did as he was told. Deliberately, he tried to quiet his still-racing heart;
he had a suspicion the excitement wasn't over for him yet.
"Are you sure this is good for you?" Jason asked Kat for the fourth or fifth time as they exited the elevator on the hospital's top floor again.
"Yes, Jason, I'm sure," the blonde explained patiently, moving slowly towards the staircase, Jason hovering at her elbow. "Walking down stairs is an old, natural way to speed labor along; as long as I'm still mobile, it's a lot better than any medication I could take."
"But what if your water breaks while we're on the stairs?"
"Jason, we're in a hospital," Kat sighed. "If it should happen, there are dozens of trained nurses and doctors around every corner who can help me. Don't worry so much." *And incidentally stop driving me crazy,* she thought with a private little smirk. *Men!*
He had the grace to blush. Leading her carefully across the landing to the next staircase, he grinned sheepishly.
"I can't help myself," he admitted. "I know what you're doing is okay, and I'm glad you've decided on natural childbirth, but I still have this urge to protect you at any cost."
"That's sweet," Kat murmured, then stopped suddenly, gripped the banister with both hands and drew in a sharp, hissing breath. Panting the way she'd been taught, she rode out the contraction until she could move again. "How long?"
Jason checked his watch."Not quite four minutes this time."
"They're not getting much closer, are they?" Kat commented, then suddenly let out a startled yelp. " Eew, no!"
"What?" Jason asked, concernedly noting the way her pallor from the contraction made way for a rosy blush. Why was Kat standing so funny all of a sudden? She was looking down past her belly to the floor, where a big puddle of some clear liquid suddenly had formed. Realization dawned.
"Tell me that isn't what I think it is," he groaned comically.
"'Fraid so," Kat admitted. With sudden impishness, she lightly punched his shoulder as he cautiously guided her to the doors leading from the staircase onto a ward. "This is all your fault!"
"Huh?" Busily looking out for a nurse, orderly or doctor, Jason at first didn't understand. Then, he did a double-take. "How is it my fault your water broke on the stairs?"
"You just had to go and say it, hadn't you?" the young woman groused,
but with a smile in her voice. She didn't get an answer as Jason managed to
snag a passing intern and explained the situation. Within moments, Kat found
herself in a wheelchair and whisked away to the maternity ward, Jason right at
her side.
The contractions were very close together now and Kat winced with the pain, clamping her fingers around Jason's hand. When she finally was able to relax, she lifted tired blue eyes to her husband's concerned face. He gently patted the sweat from her brow and smiled reassuringly, telling her without words that he was there for her.
"I want this over with," Kat moaned as another contraction hit almost directly after the last.
"I can imagine," Jason murmured soothingly. He'd never felt so helpless in his life, but wild horses couldn't have dragged him away. "I just wish there was something I could do to make this easier for you."
"You can't," the young woman sighed, but smiled through her exhaustion.
"Kat?" Jason's voice was uncharacteristically hesitant. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course," she replied, puzzled. Ever since the fiasco at Christmas, they'd grown closer, opening up more as the birth of their child drew nearer. "What is it?"
"This is going to sound real stupid," Jason began, blushing. It also maybe wasn't the best time, but talking seemed to distract Kat a little from her ordeal. "Please don't get me wrong, I can see this" he indicated the delivery room and her heaving, swollen belly, "is very hard for you, but ..."
"But what, Jase?"
"Does it ... hurt a lot?"
For a second, Kat stared at her husband incredulously. Before she could answer, though, she had to concentrate on a new wave of pain. Breathing it away as she'd been taught, she had time to consider the question and the pain from someone's perspective who would never have to go through this experience -- who, in fact, couldn't, simply by the laws of biology.
" ...yes," she finally admitted, "it does. But it's not the 'body-ripping-in-two' kind of pain you read about or see in the movies. At least not for me -- I don't know how others might experience it, though. Knowing that I can get medication if I want it helps. And ... also the fact that the pain has a ... a purpose, I guess. I know this will be over eventually, and when it is, our baby will be born. Something I hope will be soon! Aaah!!!" A small cry escaped her. Before Jason could react, a nurse-midwife looked in on them. Quickly examining Kat, she gave the young couple a cheerful smile.
"Seems someone is getting rather anxious to make an appearance. -- Are you going to stay?" she asked Jason as she busily arranged all necessary things within easy reach and summoned a doctor.
The young man exchanged a glance with his wife.
"I'd like to be there, if you don't mind," he murmured softly. This was Kat's decision alone.
"Please stay," she whispered back as the contractions moved closer and closer together. Once more, she reached for a warm hand to hold on to, and then suddenly things began to move really fast. Jason moved behind Kat to brace her as they' d rehearsed in their Lamaze class, and doctor and nurse efficiently worked together like the team they were. Through it all, dark eyes held blue until a thin wail filled the room.
"It's a boy! Congratulations!"
Tears filled Kat's eyes as she fell back into Jason's supporting arms, exhausted but happy. At the same time, she started to laugh exuberantly. "A boy, Jason! We have a son!"
He kissed her gently, moved beyond words by what he'd just witnessed. His own eyes were suspiciously moist, but neither cared at this moment. Then, the midwife stepped close, handing them a squirming, sheet-wrapped bundle.
"Twenty-one-and-a-half inches, and eight pounds, four-and-a-half ounces. What a sturdy little fellow!"
Kat's arms opened automatically to hold her child for the first time. Never had anything felt so right, and she lost herself in marvelling at the tiny hands and memorizing the small red face with its dark brows and the wispy strands of dark hair. Jason's hand seemed impossibly large as he smoothed a finger down the oh-so- soft cheek, laughing delightedly as the newborn instinctively turned into the caress, as if rooting for nourishment. Kat sobbed once, but the silvery streaks pouring down her cheeks were signs of happiness. She lifted her mouth to Jason's kiss without hesitation.
"Thank you, kitten," he whispered huskily, too overcome with emotion for anything else. No further words were necessary.
At last, the nurse came back, reluctantly but determinedly breaking up the moment. She didn't like to do it; parents deserved this first time with their infants, but the newest resident of Angel Grove needed to be put in his own bed. Competently, she lifted the baby boy out of Kat's hold, dressed him quickly and efficiently in a tiny blue romper and tucked him in. A blue tag decorated with a teddy bear was affixed to the top of the bassinett.
"What's this young man's name?" she asked the new parents. A plastic bracelet with "Baby Scott" and his statistics had already been fastened around a tiny wrist.
Kat and Jason looked at each other. They'd talked about various possibilities, but hadn't exactly made the final choice.
"Robert;" Kat said finally, a bit tentatively. "Robert, after my father."
"A nice name," the nurse agreed. "Little Bobby here ...."
"No!" Jason protested immediately. "Not Bobby!" For some reason, he didn't like this particular diminutive.
"But how can we avoid that?" Kat asked, somewhat disappointedly. That was one of the reasons they hadn't been able to agree on a name. "I'd really like to keep the name; I have no brothers, and Robert is a tradition in my family; every generation has one, and since he's the first ..."
Jason shrugged helplessly; their second choice had been John, after his own father, but he would've liked to do Kat the favor. Before he could comment, the nurse grinned at both of them.
"Well, why not make it Robin instead of Robert? It's the same root, after all, and can only be shortened to Rob, or maybe Robbie ...."
"Robin Scott?" Jason pronounced the name with a somewhat dubious expression, as if tasting it. "Hmm ... Robin .. I think I could get to like that. What about you, kitten?"
Kat gave the suggestion a moment's thought. "That could work. I think Dad will like the compromise, too."
"Then Robin it is," Jason decided after exchanging a glance with Kat.
"You'll need a second name, though," the nurse reminded them as she wrote "Robin Scott" on the blue tag. "Robin's not gender-specific."
Before Kat could react, Jason covered her hand with his. Looking deeply into his wife's sapphire eyes, he named the name that had been his secret wish to give his firstborn son all along, but hadn't dared suggest. Silently asking for her understanding, his deep voice was rough with suppressed emotion as he spoke.
"Thomas."
Kat drew in a surprised breath. The name had crossed her mind once or twice, but she hadn't wanted to hurt Jason by reminding him of their estranged friend -- her ex-boyfriend and lover, hiis brother in spirit. That he would suggest it of his own accord ... Jason interpreted her momentary hesitation correctly, and gave her the reason for his request.
"Tommy and I once promised each other to name our sons, if we ever had any, after each other. I doubt he will, now, but I'd at least like to keep my promise .... if you don't mind, that is."
"Mind? Oh Jason, of course not!" Kat said, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. "Thank you."
He didn't need to ask what she was thanking him for. As one, the new parents turned towards their peacefully sleeping son.
"Robin Thomas Scott. Welcome in our life," Jason whispered."May you find a friend like Tommy one day ... and keep him better than your mom and dad."
~*~
January
"I hate going to these affairs!" Tommy complained to no-one in particular as he tried for the fifth time to tie his bow tie. Yanking the strips of dark red silk apart once more, he huffed impatiently and started over from the beginning.
"It's bad enough that the sponsors have so much influence at all, making me wear only certain brands of clothes or using only one kind of aftershave, but these receptions are the absolute pits!"
The bow came out crooked again and hung limply between the starched tips of his collar. Tommy closed his eyes in exasperation and prayed for patience. He needed it, fast. Inhaling deeply a couple of times, he decided more desperate measures were in order. Filling his lungs with as much air as they would hold, the up-and-coming star of the stock-car racing circuit called on his emergency backup.
"MOM!"
"I'm right here, you don’t have to shout," Rachel Oliver said mildly as she entered her son's room. "Didn't I tell you to ask if you needed any help?" Shaking her head, she deftly did her female magic to his neckwear. Within half a minute, Tommy stood before her, impeccably dressed in black tuxedo trousers, red cummerbund, blindingly white shirt and a perfectly-tied red bow. His still-long hair was caught up in a loose ponytail, held back by a chased-silver clasp David had handcrafted and given his brother for Christmas. The former Ranger smiled his thanks as he shrugged into the tailored jacket.
"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I didn't know you were so close, and ..."
"...and you thought you were still seventeen instead of almost twenty-four, and the Oliver family Mrs. Fix-it would see to it that you got dressed properly," Rachel jibed, regarding Tommy fondly. Even if she said so herself, to her motherly pride he was a remarkably handsome young man. "Go on, or you’ll be late."
Tommy grinned at the sly reminder of his teen years. Becoming a professional race car driver, counting time in milliseconds rather than minutes, had done much to cure him of his terminal tardiness. Kissing his mother soundly, he clattered down the stairs and swung himself into his pride and joy, a fire-engine-red vintage Porsche convertible. Although the weather was fine for January it was too cold to leave the top down, but just handling the finely-tuned engine was bliss itself. *Kat would've loved riding in it; she'd purr almost like the car...* The young man stopped the involuntary flow of memories and scowled angrily. It had been six months since he'd last seen his ex-girlfriend, and he still couldn't get her completely out of his mind.
*This is worse than when Kim sent me that letter,* Tommy thought, disgusted with himself as he drove into the gathering twilight towards his new main sponsor's estate on the coast, about halfway to Los Angeles. *How could Kat do that to me? And Jase...?* He still had no answer, and since it hurt too much to be thinking of them, he shoved the memories back into the recesses of his mind. He'd gotten fairly proficient at it; the only time he could never escape images of his former lover and best friend was when he was in that half-trance state right before a race started. Invariably, he tried to outrun (or rather out-drive) his memories through speed and agility, things he'd learned were his greatest assets in Martial Arts, and also somewhat characteristic of his Spirit Animal ... which, perversely enough, made him more successful than ever in his chosen profession. That first victory right after Kat and Jason had gotten married had been no fluke; Tommy had won two more important races, and placed in the top five often enough during the season to establish his status as a rising force in stock car racing.
It was this which had garnered him this very lucrative sponsoring contract -- which was flattering, really, but it alsso entailed a number of social functions Tommy had to attend out of simple courtesy, beyond what his contract required by way of public engagements. Tonight was such an affair -- his sponsor, a sports clothing manufacturer, annually invited all of his athletes and other celebrities to a big formal party every January.
Sighing, Tommy coasted up the driveway to the vast, well-lit house and parked his car. Pocketing the keys, he made his way inside, vowing to himself he'd stay just as long as good manners dictated, and not one second longer. A quick glance showed that at least the buffet, which was being set up by a small army of white-coated waiters, looked inviting enough.
~*~
The speeches were thankfully over, but it would be a while yet before the food was ready, so Tommy collected a ginger ale and drifted through the crowd of well-dressed partygoers, feeling utterly bored. Attending formal parties like this was enough of a drag, but to have to do it alone ... Tommy sighed to himself. He knew he could've found a date -- Uncle John's secretary had something of a crush on him -- but he didn't want to encourage the young woman when nothing would ever come of it, and he just wasn't in the mood for a relationship yet. In his more morose moments, he thought he'd never love again, but rationally he knew that 'never' was a very long time. He'd felt the same after Kimberly had broken up with him, but then he'd found Kat, and ... *Yeah, and look where that has brought me!* He wrenched his thoughts back to the present. Sipping his drink, Tommy ambled out to one of the terraces; the weather was surprisingly mild for early January, and it was nicer than staying inside in an atmosphere made stuffy by central heating, smoke from various tobacco products and too many people crowded into too little space. He stood at the banister looking out into the garden, when he suddenly heard an achingly familiar voice from below.
"But I don't want to go into the garden with you, Ray!"
It was a woman who had spoken, and she sounded more than just slightly peeved.
"Sweetheart, believe me, you do -- just let me show you," a somewhat slurred male voice wheedled.
"Dream on, Ray!"
That clinched it. The tone was one Tommy had heard countless times, only usually the name added had been either Bulk or Skull, or both. The young man didn't stop to think. Grinning, he swiftly made his way down the broad stone steps to where the voices had come from. Sure enough, there they were -- a tall, lanky man whom Tommy vaguely recognized as being anchorman of a newscasting team of a minor network was crowding a petite, caramel-haired young woman against a gazebo. Her vivid pink dress shone in the light spilling down from the terrace, and her brown eyes were flashing with annoyance. She hadn't seen Tommy's silent approach yet.
"Leave me alone, Ray. I'm not going with you, and that's final!"
"But baby, I could show you such a good time," the obviously tipsy reporter insisted, reaching out with a greedy hand to a delicate shoulder. Before he could touch the smooth, tanned skin, however, a light tenor from behind him made him stop with its cool, determined tone.
"Hey – didn't you hear the lady?"
The words rose unbidden to his lips from memory, and as Tommy stepped closer and around the other man, he saw Kim's doe eyes light up with pleased recognition. It made it very easy to complete the quote.
"She said no."
Like all those years ago, Kim was biting her lower lip to hide her grin as Ray let his eyes sweep back and forth between her and this other guy's pleasant, but implacable look. He knew him to be some athlete, although he couldn't quite place him, and the lean musculature was very evident even under the well-tailored evening clothes. Deciding discretion was the better part of valor, the reporter took a step back from his pretty prey and lifted both hands in a conciliatory manner.
"I'm going, I'm going! Sheesh ...can nobody take a joke around here?" With that, Ray backed off, watching the younger, long-haired man warily. As soon as he had gained enough distance, he turned, nearly stumbling in his haste, and vanished around a corner.
"Thanks," Kim smiled, the memory of that long-ago moment at her locker vivid before her mind's eye. "You didn’t even have to demonstrate any karate this time."
Tommy grinned down on her, taking her hand and kissing her lightly on the cheek. The gesture came naturally to both; while they didn’t keep in close contact, they'd made peace with each other a long time ago, right after Muranthias.
"I don’t think it would've ended with just a demonstration this time," he said, a belligerent gleam entering his eyes. "That guy was hitting on you a lot harder than Skull ever did."
Kimberly looked at Tommy with a slight smile as she linked her arm through his and slowly steered him back towards the house. She had left her wrap inside, and January was not the time to stay outside long at night in a low-cut cocktail dress. The two ambled along, in no hurry, as they both relived the moment of their first meeting in their minds with more than just a touch of nostalgia.
"I could've taken care of myself," Kim said finally; "then and just now." There was a hint of challenge in her voice.
"I know that now," Tommy admitted as he ushered her inside and the two started looking around for a place to sit. "Then, I had no idea how good a fighter you were. I don't think it would've changed anything, though," he added reflectively as he pulled out a chair for Kim at a small table in a quiet corner. "I still would've wanted to protect you from the goons."
"They're no longer goons," she laughed, pleased almost against her will. "Skull is a police officer, and Bulk is working construction – I've heard they're not exactly on the fast track to promotion, but good, solid and dependable."
"Would you ever have associated these adjectives with those two when we were still at school?" Tommy grinned, and just like that the two former Rangers had reestablished their old camaraderie, chatting and joking the night away. They stayed together through dinner, through the dancing, and finally Kimberly even accepted a ride home from Tommy. As they drove through the night towards Kim's hotel, they fell into a comfortable silence with each other, each reflecting on how pleasant it had been to spend time alone together -- something they hadn't done since Kim wroote that letter to Tommy. While they had covered a wide range of topics, two subjects had very conspicuously been left out -- Kat and Jason's estrangement from Tommy and their friends, and the reason why Kim had broken up with the then-Red Ranger. After the Muranthias mess, Kim had only offered a very sincere apology to Tommy and the rest of the team, but had refused to go into details. Since it was obvious that the subject was very painful for her, her friends had accepted and respected her silence. Tommy didn't know if she had ever confided in Trini or Aisha, and wasn't sure he wanted to know after all this time, but if he was honest, he had to admit that some curiosity remained. However, he was enjoying himself too much to spoil the mood; it was the first time since last summer that he hadn’t thought of Kat and Jason for hours. It was a relief to be free of those memories for once.
Tommy deftly maneuvered his car into a parking space close to the hotel entrance, turned off the motor and looked at Kimberly. Her eyes shone in the neon lighting, and her face was animated and friendly as she leaned back in the car seat, just like they'd used to do when they were dating. The familiarity of the situation was at once comforting and somewhat disturbing, but it gave Tommy the courage to blurt out a question that had been hovering at the back of his mind for the last hour or so.
"Kim ... can I ask you something?"
"Of course you can – we're friends. You can ask me anything," the young woman replied. Suddenly, she began to giggle.
"What's so funny?" Tommy asked, puzzled.
"We are," Kim laughed. "First, you come up to me using exactly the same words like the first time we met, and now we're almost quoting ourselves again -- remember the first time you tried to ask me out?"
"Do I ever," Tommy groaned, laughing himself now. "I can't believe how nervous I was! At least tonight I won't have to worry about Goldilocks showing up with a troop of clayheads!"
"Are you sure about that?" his companion teased, and laughed even harder as Tommy couldn't help casting a furtive glance into the night. He blushed slightly, but joined in the easy laughter, shrugging sheepishly. Old reflexes died hard. When their merriment subsided, however, Kim looked earnestly into the chocolate-brown eyes she once had loved so much. The warmth in them was not quite as intense as it had been that long-ago spring day by the lake, but the haunted sadness lingering in the dark depths was very familiar to her -- it spoke of loss. Only now it was not the loss of Tommy's Ranger Powers, but of the woman he'd loved, and the friend he'd trusted. Without knowing how she knew, Kim suddenly was certain that Tommy had looked the same after receiving her letter and a fresh surge of guilt and shame hit her. She fought it down with the ease of long practice. Now was not the time to go into that.
Her voice was very soft and gentle as she addressed her former boyfriend.
"What was it you wanted to ask me, Tommy?"
He swallowed hard, looked away for an instant, then turned towards Kim again. Gathering his courage much as he'd done all those years ago, he plunged in, trying hard not to sound too eager.
"I was wondering ... are you, um, seeing someone?"
It was Kimberly's turn to look away briefly.
"Why do you want to know?" she stalled, her heart suddenly beating double time.
"Well ... I was thinking ... since we're both going to be on that promotional tour back East this spring, would you like to, uh, maybe have dinner with me some time?" he finished in a rush. During dinner, they'd found out that Kimberly also had a sponsoring contract with the company that had required Tommy's presence.
Kim stared at the young man beside her for a long while, striving not to let her conflicting emotions show. While they hadn't talked about Kat and Jason, she knew about what had happened, and in a first fit of pique on Tommy's behalf had roundly condemned the two. Now, after she'd had time to think, she was still angry at what they had done to their friend, but at the same time regretted her harsh words. Maybe if she ever happened to meet them face to face, they could talk more rationally about everything.
"Kim?"
Tommy's soft, hopeful voice brought her out of her reverie with a start. She chuckled somewhat embarrassedly to cover her momentary lapse.
"I think I'd like having dinner with you, Tommy," she finally said, hoping she was making the right choice.
"Then ... you're not seeing anyone?" he asked again, unsure why it was so important all of a sudden.
"Yes ... no. Not really."
"What is it exactly, Kim?" Tommy laughed, torn whether he should feel relieved or not. "Either you are dating someone, or you're not."
Kim bit her lower lip in an old nervous gesture Tommy remembered all too well. He'd often kissed the worry away -- then -- and the memory of that briefly flared in two pairs of brown eyes. The young man fought the sudden temptation to do so again. Kim was the first to look away. Steeling herself against the sweet reminiscence, she sought refuge in her explanation.
"I'm ... I'm sort of dating Michael, the team choreographer for the floor routines. Even though I'm no longer on the active circuit, I'm still very much involved with the girls." Kim paused, and Tommy recalled that she was trying to get into the fashion business, having made an excellent start by designing the costumes for the Team USA gymnasts and selecting the team's wardrobe for the opening ceremonies at international competitions. Before he could follow that train of thought further, Kim continued.
"It's nothing serious as yet; when we're in town together, we go out sometimes, catch a movie or meet and do stuff together ... he's kissed me a few times when he brought me home, but that's all. We're not really committed to each other, or anything. Yet."
Tommy digested that for a few moments. A tiny, hidden part of him had jumped angrily at the thought of anyone else but him kissing the petite woman sitting beside him, but the greater part seemed to breathe a silent sigh of relief. *She's safe!* The thought came out of nowhere and puzzled Tommy, but he dismissed it as irrelevant. He wasn't looking for another girlfriend, all he wanted was to spend some more time with an old friend. Surely there was no harm in that, was there? With somewhat forced cheerfulness, he reissued his invitation.
"Well, if it's like that, would he have any objection if I took you out to dinner one night? Say, next Saturday?"
"He would have no reason to object, would he?" Kim challenged Tommy lightly. Neither knew if it was to protect herself or the unknown Michael from potential hurt.
"Of course not," the racer assured his old school chum. "Why should he mind two old friends like us having dinner?" It sounded, and was, perfectly harmless, wasn't it?
"No reason at all. Next Saturday, you said?"
"Yeah -- if you're still around, that is," Tommy answered, suddenly remembering Kim's travelling schedule -- and his own. He couldn't afford to drive any long distances, since he had to leave for Florida on Sunday noon at the latest, to resume training.
"I'll be in Los Angeles," the gymnast revealed. "Can you come there? I'll be choosing fabrics on Saturday morning ..."
"No problem," he readily acquiesced. Pocketing Kim's business card with her address, he escorted her into the hotel's lobby, watching with a fond smile as the young woman skipped towards the elevator much as she would've done during their school days. He climbed back into his car and drove home towards Angel Grove, his heart and mind immeasurably lighter than on the way out.
~*~
That first dinner had gone well, and once the promotional tour started, Kimberly and Tommy ran into each other often, doing interviews and public appearances together, staying at the same hotels if possible, and slowly but surely regaining their former ease with each other. They shared experiences, dreams, hopes and frustrations, finding it curiously rewarding to learn how similar their views on life in general still were. If nothing else, at least their friendship had survived the years of separation and sparse contact and was as strong as ever. After a while, Tommy even confessed to his first love how much he'd been affected by Kat and Jason's betrayal.
"It hurt as much or more as when you sent me that letter," Tommy concluded after he'd finally unburdened himself. "If it hadn't come so totally out of the blue ... but until that weekend, everything was fine. I loved Kat, and had told her so; I thought she'd loved me just as much." He shook his head in bewilderment. "I still don't get it."
The gymnast looked at her companion with compassionate eyes. After Jason had sent his original message, telling everybody in their group of friends that he was marrying Kat and why, Kim couldn't help wondering once she'd gotten past her anger on Tommy's behalf. She'd heard fragments of the tale from the other former Rangers, most notably Tanya, painting a slightly different picture, and now Tommy had confirmed it. Whether he liked it or not, he'd played a part in what had transpired; it may have been completely unintentional, but Tommy had effectively thrown Jason and Kat together. However, he was still too hurt to be able to see that. So, Kim wisely chose to say nothing that would make Tommy close up. He'd needed to get this off his chest to someone who knew everybody involved.
"I'm sorry it turned out that way for you," she murmured sincerely after a while. "You didn't deserve to be treated like that, neither by them ... or by me." That last addendum was spoken almost too softly to hear, and Kim wouldn't meet Tommy's eyes as she said it. Diverted from his unhappy musings, the race car driver looked expectantly at his pretty companion; would he finally get an explanation for the letter Kim had sent him? He waited for a few moments, but when nothing else was forthcoming, Tommy let it rest. If he'd learned anything during the time they'd dated, it was that Kim would talk to him when she was ready. Instead, he reached for her hand across the small table where they'd shared an afternoon snack. Squeezing the slim fingers gently, he smiled gratefully at his former girlfriend.
"Thanks, Kim. That means a lot, coming from you."
For an instant, it seemed as if Kimberly was going to say something else, but just then Tommy's cell phone rang, and the moment was lost. Once he had finished his call, the two realized time had gotten away from them and they hurried to catch a cab to bring them to their next appointment.
~*~
April
"Hel-lo, gorgeous," Tommy greeted Kimberly as she opened her hotel room door to let him in. He whistled appreciatively as he took in her appearance. Tonight, they were in Atlantic City, attending another big social event at one of the casinos, and evening attire was required. For once, Kim had chosen a pants suit instead of her usual flirty dresses, but she made the severe tuxedo cut look sexy and sophisticated nonetheless, by replacing the usual high-necked shirt with a vibrantly pink bustier top that peeked out from between the satiny lapels and showed some very nice cleavage, and wearing high-heeled sandals.
She giggled at the compliment and admiring once-over Tommy gave her.
"You don't clean up too badly yourself," she commented as she straightened his crooked bow tie with a few deft movements. "What is it about you men that you can't learn to put on your ties on your own? My dad and brother, and mom's Jean-Pierre are just the same."
"Maybe it's genetic," Tommy teased back. "Just like women can never be ready on time." He held his breath, waiting for Kim's reaction to that.
She didn't disappoint him. Doing a classic double-take, she bopped him on the arm, just like she'd done when they were still at school.
"Look who's talking," she scolded lightly. "Mr. I'm-sorry-I'm-late in person!"
"Hey, I've gotten better!" he protested, pouting.
"Yes, but only because you had to!"
"Whatever the reason, if we don't hurry up, we'll both be late for the banquet," Tommy commented, slipping an arm through Kim's. Laughingly, she conceded, and the two old friends made their way to the biggest casino on the Boardwalk. After dinner, when the presentations and the sponsors' speeches were over, there was a choice of dancing or gambling; Tommy and Kim tried both but mostly mingled, meeting other well-known athletes, their partners, reporters ... all in all, even though it was a 'command performance', it was an enjoyable evening, until Tommy excused himself for a few minutes to use the restrooms. When he came back, he didn't see Kimberly right away. Looking around the lobby, he finally spied her huddled behind a group of potted palm trees, an expression of fright and disgust on her lovely face. Frowning slightly -- *I wonder why she's looking so strange?* -- the young man went over to his date. Coming up unnoticed behind her, he curiously followed her gaze to a noisy group of extremely well-dressed people. Everyone there was wearing designer clothes, and the women were positively dripping jewellery. However, Kim's attention seemed to be focussed on an almost too-handsome blond man who clearly was the center of the group – and enjoying every minute of it.
"Kimberly?" Tommy asked gently, putting an arm around the slim shoulders. The young woman noticeably flinched, then pulled herself together with an effort.
"Let's get out of here," she begged. Her face was pale, and she wouldn't meet Tommy's eyes.
"Sure, if you want to," he agreed readily, his interest piqued. They'd done their duty to the sponsors, so there was no reason for them to stay unless they wanted to dance and/or gamble the night away, but it was obvious to someone who knew her as well as Tommy did that Kim was very agitated. As unobtrusively as possible, he guided her through the throng of laughing, talking, drinking people. Just before they stepped out into the night, Kim turned to look once more back to where they'd come from. Tommy did the same, and thus caught the man with the movie-star looks raise his champagne glass to Kim in a mock salute. She sobbed once, a sound that was part fury, part despair, and all but ran off into the night.
Stunned and utterly in the dark as to what he'd just witnessed, it took the former Ranger a few moments to gather his wits and follow his friend. Thinking it might be better if he gave Kimberly a little space to compose herself, Tommy went after her, far enough behind not to be a bother, but close enough to help if it should be necessary. Kim blindly made her way past the brightly-lit hotels to the beach, slipped off her sandals and walked down to the water's edge. Only when the soft surf was eddying around her bare feet did she stop. Her head bowed, she waited for her former boyfriend to catch up with her. Silent sobs shook her small frame. Tommy just draped an arm around the slender shoulders, waiting for her to speak. Finally, as her breath quieted, he asked the question that was foremost in his mind.
"Who was he, Kim? That poor man's Robert Redford lookalike at the casino?"
It took a long time before she could bring herself to answer.
"H-he was the guy I broke up with you for," Kim murmured hoarsely into the darkness, staring out over the Atlantic.
"I thought it might have been something like that," Tommy replied softly. "I've never seen you so spooked."
His quiet acceptance did a lot to calm Kim's jangled nerves, but she still couldn't look into the warm brown eyes. She felt too ashamed, even after all this time. Instead, she leaned back tentatively against the leanly-muscled chest, breathing a silent sigh of relief when Tommy didn't draw back. He gave her a bit more time to regain her emotional equilibrium, then pressed a friendly, undemanding kiss into the mass of caramel locks.
"Won't you tell me what happened, Kim? I don't think you've ever told anybody the whole story, and you should know I won't blame you for any of it now."
"I haven't," she admitted tremulously. "Only ... Tommy, I was so stupid, everything was ... and I know I hurt you with my letter ... I just don't want to hurt you again."
"You can never hurt me by being honest, Kim," he said. "But I really think you need to get this off your chest just this once. I promise, you'll never have to talk about it again – not unless you want to." His tone was gently persuasive, and it gave her the courage to meet his eyes at last. What she read in the brown depths was only understanding and concern for her, and it brought a fresh rush of tears to the doe eyes. Smiling tiredly, Kim heaved a weary sigh.
"Okay ... if you're sure you want to know ... but I warn you, it isn't pretty," she caved.
Tommy gave his response serious thought. Did he want to rake up old memories?
"I think I have to know, Kim. I never wanted to rush you or anything, but I admit, I am still curious. I never really knew what happened that made you fall out of love with me, and ... this has been long overdue between us, and as I see it, it's the only way for us to go forward at last."
"Oh Tommy ..." she sighed. If only he knew ... "Is there still an 'us'? Do we want to go forward?" the young woman asked plaintively, but with a glimmer of hope in her choked voice.
"Maybe. I don't know yet. But I think I'd like to find out."
"Yeah." Kimberly collected her thoughts, inexplicably heartened by this non-promise. "Let's walk a bit," she suggested, suddenly restless but smiling tentatively at her tall companion. "I'm too keyed up to just stand here. But I promise, I'll try to make you understand."
Tommy slipped off his shoes and socks as well, both tucked their footwear under a stack of sun chairs and the two former Rangers started to amble down the beach, two figures dressed almost identically in tailored black suits. Gentle wavelets were lapping at their bare feet and the moist sand crunched softly as they moved slowly through the darkness. They'd left the Boardwalk and the brightly-lit hotels far behind when Kimberly stopped at last, looked out to sea and finally began to talk.
~*~
"His name is Jackson Banks; his father is the CEO of Banks Pharmaceuticals, the main sponsor of Team USA at the Panglobals in '97," she started haltingly. "I first met him at the team's presentation, shortly after I'd moved to Florida. Jack was nice to me, and charming, but it wasn't anything special ... not then, anyway. Everything was okay until Christmas; of course I was homesick, and lonely, and missed you and the guys, but I'd expected that, so I could live with it." She paused for breath, caught up in the memory.
"We all missed you, Kim," Tommy murmured, also transported back to that time.
"I know." The gymnast smiled mistily. "After the holidays, training began in earnest; the hours got longer and harder, but I wanted to make you all proud of me, so I gritted my teeth and hung on. When you wrote and called, I never told you how alone I felt; I thought I had to be brave for both of us since you were having so much trouble with Zedd and everything." She bent and scooped up a handful of small seashells, starting to throw them out into the calm sea, making little splashes as they hit the silvery surface and sank to the ground.
"Then, Master Vile came and turned you guys into kids. Of course I wasn't directly affected, but nevertheless I sensed something was wrong. When Billy called me after he'd returned himself to his proper age, I knew, and understood why you couldn't call me, but that didn't stop me from feeling ... edgy, and nervous, and more scared than I'd ever been. It was almost as if I'd also become ten years old again." Kimberly snuck a peek at Tommy, gratified that he was all attention.
"Trini later told me she, Jason and Zack had felt the same thing." Tommy grimaced involuntarily, but didn't interrupt; he'd heard the story already from Jason – it was the reason why the former Red Ranger had terminated his stint at the Peace Conference as fast as he decently could without quitting outright. He'd sensed that he might be needed.
"I know," was all he said, though. "Zordon assumed it was because of your Grid connection."
"Yes. However, I know that none of the others felt it as strongly as I did. Maybe it was because I'd held the Powers longer, or because Florida was closer to Angel Grove than Geneva ... whatever, during those weeks I almost became a nervous wreck. It was then that I met Jackson again." Kim swallowed. This next part was going to be hard. "He saw that my practices were beginning to get affected, and tried just to cheer me up – or so I thought at the time. Even though I really wasn't in the mood, he persuaded me to go out with him; nothing major, the movies, the beach, pizza ... it was all very innocent at first. He made me laugh, and let me forget my worries for a while. I felt that, if I could have told you, you wouldn't have minded."
"I wouldn't," Tommy responded unhesitatingly. "Things were so crazy for a while, what with getting the Zeo Crystal, reversing Time again, getting used to new Powers, integrating Tanya and most of all missing Billy on the team ... I was kind of glad you seemed to be doing okay when you wrote or called. Maybe it was the easy way out, but it sure took a load off my mind at the time."
"That's what I figured," Kim murmured. "I started dating him mostly out of gratitude and loneliness at first, but he began to seriously ... well, court me, I guess. I still hadn't quite recovered from the whole upheaval, was still emotionally off-balance, and he did everything to keep me that way. Jack never intruded on my practice time, but during my off periods ... he started to pamper me outrageously. For example, I never had to wait in line for the physiotherapist; instead, Jack picked me up right after practice each night and I got a private massage and rubdown from his personal masseuse. His parents' house had everything ... Jacuzzi, Olympic-size pool, a gym ... and it was ever so much nicer than at the Training Compound. Of course I loved it. I didn't get a single flower when I'd done well at practice, I'd get a whole bouquet. We went to parties ... on his rich friends' yachts. I got to meet celebrities, even – Julio Iglesias, Gloria Estefan, Jim Courier ... everybody famous who was in Florida, it seemed. Coach let it happen, because the press was very favorable. 'Pan-Global Hopeful meets the Jet Set,' that type of thing. It kept the team and the Training Compound in the public eye in a very glamorous way, garnering lots of positive feedback. And I, stupid little girl that I was, let it turn my head. Not only was it fantastic to become some kind of celebrity myself, but Jackson made me feel as if I was the prettiest woman on Earth, the most talented, the most important."
Kim laughed bitterly at her memories. The sound cut her companion deeply, but Tommy couldn't have uttered a word if his life depended on it. Both stood facing the sea, but neither appreciated the beauty of the moonlight reflecting off the smooth, gently rippling surface. After an endless moment, the young woman continued.
"It didn't help me that when you called or wrote, you rarely said a personal word. It was all about school, the team, your new Powers ..."
"Kim, all I wanted was to make you not feel left out," Tommy said, alarmed. "I knew how hard it must've been to give your Power Coin to someone else – I'd done it myself once, after all. I never meant to neglect our relationship!"
"I know that now," the young woman sighed. "But at the time, it seemed to me instead as if you were cutting me out of your life. It made it very easy to let Jackson kiss me one night ..."
"God, Kim, I'm sorry," he almost groaned. "Why didn't you tell me? I know I should've seen it myself, probably, but ...." he shrugged helplessly, appalled at what his unwitting insensitivity had caused.
"Does it matter now?" Kim queried. Seeing Tommy shake his head no, she returned to her story.
"We'd been to yet another party, very chic, very exclusive, and when Jack kissed me goodnight, he said that he wished he could do even more for me – if I were his girlfriend. I was so starry-eyed, so lost in living a fantasy, that I never even stopped to think. Your last letter had all been about you playing house with Kat for that school project, pretending to be married, and I so wanted that for myself but couldn't have it ... I was jealous, confused, and hurt, so I wrote that letter to you the same night."
Kim swallowed hard at the memory. "After I'd mailed it, I went a little crazy, I guess. I no longer knew what to feel – anger at having given everything up, sorry I broke up with you, relieved that now I no longer needed to wait for the mail or by the phone, furious at you for letting me go in the first place ... I was completely confused. I got moody and irritable, one moment fighting with the other girls, the next having crying jags in my room, then another being giddy like a preteen."
"Whoa. I swear, Kim I had no idea ... I mean, everything in Angel Grove was weird enough, and I missed you like crazy, but it wasn't that bad ... guess Mondo distracted us pretty thoroughly." Tommy's attempt at a feeble joke fell on deaf ears. It was as if Kim didn't even hear him.
"Throughout it all, there was Jackson, giving me a shoulder to cry on when I wanted it, bringing me silly little gifts to make me laugh, being oh-so-patient and understanding ... it was easy to let him all but take over my life. Within a few days, I'd agreed to be his girlfriend. After that, Jack started to really treat me like a princess, giving me jewellery and other expensive presents. Being together with him ... you've seen how good-looking he is, a real hunk, rich, charming ... suddenly I had everything. My gymnastics, fame, a total dreamboat of a man at my side -- it was like a dream, and I never wanted to wake up."
"Why did you?" Tommy asked subduedly. If he'd only known ... only made more of an effort ... but that was water under the bridge now. They'd both made mistakes, and had paid for them. Strangely enough, the thing he had the hardest time accepting was to hear how this Banks character had been able to spoil Kim. It cost him to realize that, even if he managed to have a long, successful racing career, he'd never have been able to give Kim the same things. The money he could reasonably expect to earn simply wasn't that much. And Kim deserved all of it, and more ... his musings were interrupted by the emotion-roughened voice of his ex-girlfriend.
"Jack slowly became more and more possessive. At first, I didn't mind; it was kind of neat to know he cared so much, or so I thought. Also, when I was with him, I couldn't think of anything but how to please him. I ... I even slept with him," she whispered tremulously. Shooting a quick glance at Tommy, Kim saw the sadness her confession chased over the angular features, and tears started to well up, but the smile he sent her way was understanding and forgiving.
"It's okay, Kim," he murmured. "It was a long time ago, and I never expected you to put your life on hold. After all, I didn't." The hot flare of jealousy shooting through him, even knowing it had been years ago, was better kept hidden, wasn't it?
"Thank you," Kimberly gulped, momentarily overcome with emotion. But her tale wasn't quite finished, and she determinedly went on. The worst was said, and Tommy seemed still willing to listen.
"I had a very rude awakening later in summer, about two months before the Games. I ... I twisted my ankle during practice one day and the doctor ordered me to take a few days of strict bed rest if I wanted to compete; Jackson seemed to understand, sent me books, flowers and things and apparently waited patiently for me to get well again. Only, I got worse. Not my ankle; that was healing nicely, but ... for some reason, I started having chills, my hands began to tremble, I had trouble sleeping ... I was worried enough that I told the doctor looking after my foot about the symptoms. He ordered a blood workup, and that's when my dream suddenly turned into a total nightmare."
"Were you sick?" Tommy asked, alarmed. Kim had seemed perfectly fine since January, but one could never know ...
"No. In a way, I wish I had been," the petite girl said bitterly. "It would've made things a lot easier to bear." She inhaled deeply, the memory of her folly stark in her mind. "I was in withdrawal."
"Withdrawal?" he repeated puzzledly, not making the connection right away. Then, realization hit. "You were drugged?"
"Yes. Nothing major, just with something to lower my inhibitions and make me more malleable, but still drugged."
"The bastard!" Tommy exploded, turning halfway back towards the casinos as if he were on the verge of running back and punish the rich young man. Kim's hand on his arm and a light shake of her head were all that held him back. Calming himself with an enormous effort of will, Tommy forced his enraged thoughts back to what Kim had told him.
"How did he do it? I can't believe you took anything knowingly," he asked, still angered on Kim's behalf. She smiled lightly, recognizing his protective instincts.
"I didn't. Jack had found a very simple way to get the stuff into me. Remember that I told you his father all but owns a pharmaceutical company? Well, Jack had studied some chemistry once; it was easy for him to get hold of some kind of LSD derivative from the research labs, mix it up with colored sugar and decorate glasses with the mess at home. You've seen the way hotels dip the rims of cocktail glasses in lemon juice, then into a bowl with sugar and let it dry? That's what Jack did. He always was scrupulous about my being underage; he never gave me alcohol, but said there was no reason for me not to enjoy non-alcoholic cocktails out of 'real' cocktail glasses. And I thought it was so cool and sophisticated!" Her self-disgust was evident in her voice. "Every time I was at his house – that was almost every day in the end -- he'd greet me with a special juice mixture. It tasted great, I loved the gesture, and that little bit of sugar crust was enough to satisfy my sweet tooth without having too many calories. I wish I'd pigged out on a pound of chocolate a day instead! God, I was such an idiot!"
Tommy shook his head. Kim was not stupid, but when she cared about someone, she gave all of herself wholeheartedly – especially her trust. All of her friends had always returned the sentiment just as fully. How terrible for her to have had that trust so abused! His blood ran cold at the thought of what might have happened to her if she hadn't injured herself. Another thing then occurred to him.
"But what about your gymnastics? Weren't you tested for drug use?"
"The routine tests wouldn't show anything, and by the time the really intensive testing for the Panglobals came up, Jackson had hoped I was so dependent on him that I wouldn't mind giving it up," Kim related. "My withdrawal symptoms were more severe than he'd estimated, though, and he hadn't counted on me spraining my ankle and getting cut off from my daily dose. As it was, I only managed to save my career by turning myself in immediately. As soon as the doctors found out what was wrong with me, I went to Coach Schmidt and told him everything. He instigated an investigation; that's how I found out what Jack had been doing to me. I was lucky; my 'confession' made the guys from the American Panglobals Committee believe me that I was a victim and not a willing participant; too, it was the kind of drug which wouldn't influence my performance, so I was let off easy with a severe reprimand. I was allowed to compete in the Games, but had to undergo drug rehab and regular testing for two years."
"Oh Kim," Tommy sighed, torn between rage and pity. "Why didn't you tell any of us? We could have helped you, been there for you!"
"I had lost everything; given up everything for what turned out to be a pipe dream," Kim whispered. "Or at least that's how I felt when it was all over. I didn't even get the satisfaction of seeing the louse go to court; his father was too important a sponsor, and I was given to understand that if I insisted on pressing charges, I'd damage the whole team. I couldn't do that to the others, so I gave in. That was part of the price I had to pay for remaining on the team. I was clean by the time the finals came around, so my medal wasn't contested. The whole affair never even made it into the papers; Jackson's father and the sports functionaries hushed it up very thoroughly. All I had left was my pride; I had gotten myself into that mess on my own, and I was determined to get out again on my own. I needed to do this by myself."
"I understand." And he did; Tommy knew that, if he'd been in Kim's shoes, he'd have felt as humiliated, as ashamed as her voice, eyes and pallor indicated she had done. While it hurt to learn that she had to cope with such a hopeless situation without her friends' – his – help, he couldn't help but admire the former Pink Ranger for her courage and determination. He told her so in no uncertain words.
"I think you really mean that," Kim said wonderingly. She hadn't dared hope for understanding, much less forgiveness. Looking into the warm brown eyes, she found both. A tiny spark of hope lit in her heart.
"You know I do," Tommy reassured her, giving her a gentle hug. Kim snuggled briefly into his chest, relishing the feeling of being held in strong, capable arms once more. She'd never had quite the same sensation with anyone else. Not with Ryan, the team colleague who had helped her forget the experience with Jackson a year or so later, certainly not with the too-handsome scoundrel, nor Michael, her current almost-boyfriend. She blushed guiltily as she remembered him. It was too dark for Tommy to see it, thank her lucky stars, but it made her step back reluctantly. There was no way she would repeat her mistake – not even when it felt so incredibly good to lean against Tommy once more. He sensed her withdrawal and released her rather unwillingly, hiding his reaction. For a while, the two looked over the smooth expanse of water, lost in their memories of what might have been before they turned away in unspoken agreement. They smiled shyly at each other as they started retracing their steps.
"I still can't understand why you didn't tell any of us when it was all over," Tommy said presently as they slowly made their way back towards the Boardwalk. "When you came back to Angel Grove right after the Games ..."
"I was too ashamed at the time," Kim remembered. "Still, I wanted to tell at least something to someone, and had decided on Jason, but when I had nearly screwed up my courage, Divatox captured us, and Muranthias happened. After what I nearly did to you and Kat under Maligore's influence ... seeing how happy the two of you were together ... I just couldn't."
"I see."
There wasn't much more that could be said after that, and the erstwhile couple walked silently side by side along the shoreline until they had almost reached the first hotel.As one, both stopped and hesitantly looked at each other. Kim searched Tommy's eyes for signs of reproach, but found none. "Tommy," she murmured, not sure what to say.
"It's okay, Kim," he soothed her, gently touching her wind-blown hair. "I'm not angry at you. Maybe at the circumstances, but not at you. Not anymore, and not for a long time. If anything, I'm glad you could tell me."
"Thank you." Her voice was a whisper in the dark, but it conveyed a wealth of gratitude. There was so much more the young woman wanted – needed – to tell her former boyfriend, now that a start had been made, but she was exhausted, physically and emotionally.
"Not necessary," Tommy smiled, placing a long forefinger against her soft, quivering lips to silence any further words. He could see Kim was on the verge of tears. There was more he wanted to know, but this was neither the time nor the place. Instead, Tommy made an effort to lighten her mood. "Are you sure I can't mop the floor with Pretty Boy?" His tone made it extremely clear what he thought of the man who had used her so shabbily. "I'd love to, you know ... the guys and me have come up with some pretty creative ways of what we wanted to do to Zedd or Mondo if we should ever get our mitts on them; I'm sure I could adapt a few to that creepazoid."
The juvenile expression made Kimberly giggle tiredly. She leaned her forehead briefly against a broad shoulder.
"No thanks," she sighed. "Some part of me would love to, but I won't give him the satisfaction to know that I'm still not quite over it. Over him, yes, but not over what he did to me – to us." She looked earnestly up into warm, chocolate-brown eyes. "I'm sorry I spoiled our evening, but when I saw him so unexpectedly ..." the slender shoulders shrugged deprecatingly. "It just brought it all back."
"Understandable," came the gentle reply. "I don't like it – I really want to give that sonovabitch a piece of my mind – but I can see your point. Besides, neither one of us could use the bad press."
Both athletes grinned ruefully at each other. Having to act circumspectly in public was part of the price they had to pay for their moderate claim to fame.Together, they went up the beach, slipped their shoes back on and ambled back to their hotel. On their way through the gay crowds, their hands unconsciously found each other, but it felt natural, and right. Once they'd reached their temporary home, Tommy escorted Kim to her room. The harsh hallway lights showed him how truly hard the memories and the telling had been for her; the soft cheeks bore traces of tears that had slipped out of the slightly puffy brown eyes, and the rosy lips quivered with fatigue. Stepping inside her room for a few moments, he had to resist the impulse to sweep Kim into his arms and hold her until she'd cried herself out and fell asleep. Instead, he contented himself with tilting the piquant face up to his and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead and both cheeks.
"It'll be okay, Kim. We'll be okay," he promised, forgetting that there was another man somewhere out there who also could lay claim to the young woman's affections.
"Can we?" she asked tearfully. She hadn't meant to cry, but hadn't been able to help herself, despite her best intentions. Right now, there was no room in her weary mind for anything or anyone but Tommy.
"I think so. You've given me a lot to think about, but I'm still glad to know what really happened. I guess even after all this time, I was afraid it had been something I'd said, or done ..."
"No, Tommy! It was my fault only," Kim protested, shocked. "If I hadn't let Jack dazzle me with his money, and his looks ..."
"Kim, you said it yourself: you were only seventeen at the time, scared, lonely, confused, most likely overworked as well, I wasn't there to help you ... and the snake took advantage of that. It wasn't all your fault."
"That's no excuse; I should've been stronger," she mourned. "I was too weak, and gave you up for nothing."
"Maybe it's not an excuse, but it is a reason – one I can even understand. You hadn't given me one before, and now we can put things behind us at last."
The exhausted young woman looked at her tall companion with wide, suddenly hopeful eyes.
"Would ... would you have understood then?" she dared ask. Tommy gave her question serious thought.
"I don't know," he admitted finally. "I may have been too young then, too hurt to really listen." Unbidden, another hurtful scene flashed before his eyes – a blond young woman telling him of a mistake made, her tear-filled blue eyes asking him to listen, to understand – but he'd closed his mind and his heart, seeing only his own pain. Mentally shaking himself, Tommy refocussed on the petite brunette gazing up at him with utter trust.
"I'm willing and able to listen now, though," he said. When Kim opened her mouth, however, he shook his head and smiled.
"Not tonight, Kim. We're both tired, and I want to have a clear head when we work through this. That is ... if you want to?" he asked, suddenly uncertain if he wasn't presuming too much. Kimberly gave him a tremulous smile in return.
"I ... I think I'd like that," she whispered, feeling a long-shut window in her soul open a crack. Maybe there was hope for them, after all. They'd just need to take it slow ...
"That's great," Tommy said gently. "I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow, then?"
"O-okay."
Both stared at each other, neither wanting to be the one to send the other away. Finally, Tommy sighed deeply and did what he felt he must.
"Good night, Kim." His smile was a bit strained around the edges, as if forced, but his warm eyes told their own story. She read it perfectly, and it enabled her to find her own smile.
"Good night, Tommy."
He reached for the doorknob, but something made him turn back one more time. Kim stood as he'd left her, eyes wide and tired, but no longer dull. Giving in to an almost irresistible impulse, Tommy cupped Kim's face between both palms. Brushing his lips tenderly over hers, he let go of the very last remnants of hurt that had lingered ever since he'd read that fateful letter. A moment later, he was gone, leaving behind a young woman who once more had stars in her eyes.
~*~
July
"I'll be glad when this tour is over," Kimberly moaned. They were sweltering in the summer heat of New Orleans, waiting for their transportation to yet another mall. Their sponsor was opening a new outlet in one of the better shopping districts, and she and Tommy had been roped into an autograph session. "This heat is going to kill me! Who was the idiot who scheduled us for Louisiana in July, anyway?"
"Our beloved paycheck-giver, lord of lucrative sponsoring contracts and maker of scratchy polo shirts," Tommy quipped, squirming in one such garment. He looked enviously at Kim's cotton walking shorts and matching sleeveless shirt. "Nothing and nobody else could make me wear slacks in this kind of heat otherwise!"
"Poor baby," Kim cooed sympathetically, his sally having brought a smile to her lips. Secretly she thought that the khaki pants and off-white shirt made Tommy look extremely handsome. Like or not, the casually-elegant style suited him very well and set off his tan and deep-brown hair to perfection. "Let's hope the car has a/c so we can cool off some, and it won't be that bad at the mall."
"You hope," he shot back, making a grab for her hand as their transportation arrived. "What do you want to bet the crowds will be big enough to make it hotter than hell, airconditioning or not?"
"I don't bet against the odds," Kim murmured as the car drew off the curb. "Remind me never to agree to promotional tours like this again, come December. I can't believe how sick I am of travelling all over creation, living out of a suitcase or meeting yet one more extremely boring person." Realizing what she'd said, she grinned her apology. "Present company excepted, of course. – Next time around, I'd rather make a TV commercial, or a photo shoot."
"I hear you," Tommy conceded, huffing slightly at her comment. "But meanwhile we're still stuck with it. – Listen, do you want me to make the sales pitch this time, or ...." Soon, they were lost in planning their appearance, searching for ways to vary their routine from becoming too stale.
~*~
Later that night, the two were wandering through the French Quarter, admiring the old houses with their wrought-iron decorations, and doing some serious window-shopping at the numerous small boutiques and antique stores. A sudden squall earlier had cooled the air enough to make being outside pleasant, and Kim and Tommy chose a small restaurant with a back garden, having a delicious seafood dinner. When the waitress brought the cheque, she observed the handsome couple with a sentimental smile. The long-haired young man and his petite companion didn't seem to be directly involved, but to her experienced eyes, it wouldn't take much to nudge them into that direction. An inveterate romantic, the middle-aged woman decided to do just that.
"Would you be interested in going to Le Chevalier tonight, sir? Miss?" she asked as she accepted Tommy's credit card.
"What's that?"
"A jazz club just off Beale Street. Most folks concentrate on the big names, but I know the owner; his bands are just as good, it's not as crowded, and you'll get to hear some of the best blues and jazz in all of New Orleans." She handed over a leaflet advertising the month's program.
Kim looked at Tommy with suddenly shining eyes. While jazz was not her first choice of music, Zack's cousin Curtis had played for them often enough during their school days to make her appreciate this truly American art form. Tommy smiled indulgently, skimming the flyer quickly. He was feeling very mellow tonight, and while he'd be just as happy to amble around the sights some more – his mother's birthday was coming up, and he'd hoped Kim would help him choose a present – there was always the next stop at San Antonio, two weeks from now.
"Sounds good," he said casually, grinning at the brilliant smile bestowed on him. "Would you like to go?"
"Yes, please," Kim bubbled enthusiastically. Suddenly she felt as giddy as she'd ever felt during high school.
"Let's go, then!"
~*~
Le Chevalier turned out to be just what their waitress had promised it would be – a small, almost intimate club with a unique atmosphere that entranced the two and held them long into the night. They danced, shared a wine cooler, nibbled on Cajun delicacies and danced some more, enjoying each other's company. It was past midnight when they slowly made their way back to their hotel. Tommy had his arm draped around Kim's shoulders and she had threaded hers around his trim waist as they wandered through the now-balmy night, silently letting the evening's magic dissolve.
Once at their hotel, Tommy followed Kim into her room to unload the few bags with souvenirs she'd bought. Kim wasn't quite the compulsive shopper she had proved herself to be on their class trip to Australia, but she still loved to browse, and in most major cities she managed to find a few curios for her apartment in Florida if time allowed. The room was softly lit by a couple of lamps left on by the turndown service, and Kim deposited her handbag on the dresser. Turning towards her companion with a bright smile, she touched his arm.
"Thank you for carrying the bags for me, Tommy," she said softly. For some reason, the atmosphere was not conducive to loud voices.
"Anytime," he replied. "It's been a long time, but it's good to know I haven't forgotten how," he teased, referring to countless trips to Angel Grove's shopping district when they were still teenagers.
Kim pouted prettily.
"You only needed to say the word, and I would've gone with Aisha, or Trini."
"You did that anyway," Tommy jibed, tousling her hair playfully. Over the months, their relationship had developed to the point where such gestures once more came naturally to both. "But hey, it's okay; I knew I always could go spar with the guys or something instead, if I really minded."
"You did that, anyway," Kim tossed his words right back at her former boyfriend, laughing at his sheepish expression. "Why did you come shopping with me, if you hated it so?"
Tommy shrugged. "It was a chance of doing normal boy-girl type stuff with you. Between school, fighting Zedd and Rita and hanging out with the gang, what opportunity did we have to be together? I can't remember even one date we had that wasn't interrupted by one thing or another; can you?"
"I ... I don't know," Kim answered, frowning. "Surely there must have been one...? What about the police dance during Junior year?"
"Right before, Zedd had gotten most everybody with his love potion, remember? You were just about to throw me over for Skull."
"Eww!"
Tommy laughed at the face she made. Caught up in the memory, he grabbed her gently around the waist and pulled her close.
"I can't tell you how glad I was when that spell wore off," he said, his voice getting husky. Kim placed her hands on the broad, cotton-clad shoulders and twinkled into the brown eyes.
"Oh, I dunno," she giggled throatily. "If I remember correctly, I danced with him after I'd apologized for unwittingly leading him on, and he was very decent about it. Actually, he's a better dancer than you were at the time, and what with wearing his dress uniform and all ... in his own goofy way, he was really kinda cute."
"Cute? Skull? Kim, I always thought you had excellent taste, but now I'm not so sure!"
"Don't be mean," she chided, laughing softly. "After all, I did see the error of my ways after the spell wore off." It almost felt like old times, the way Tommy was holding her and she was looking up into the chocolate depths of his eyes. Remembering how nice it had felt to sway in Tommy's arms to soft music, then and now, she instinctively threaded her hands around his neck, stepping closer into his embrace. Lost in the recollection of more carefree times, the young man tightened his hold on the slender woman's hips. He inhaled deeply of her floral perfume and just barely refrained from burying his face in the caramel curls piled loosely on the top of Kim's head. Her next words, though, broke something loose within both of them.
"Actually, I've always thought you were the cutest guy I'd ever met," she murmured without thinking, moistening her suddenly dry mouth with her tongue-tip. All at once, the air around them seemed electrified, and the two held their breaths as their eyes met. Giving in to an irresistible impulse, Tommy drew Kim the remaining few inches against his chest. Sensing no resistance, he slowly lowered his head to hers, never losing eye contact until those soft brown orbs fluttered shut the instant his lips touched hers.
The kiss lasted a long time; they paused occasionally for breath, but it was too heady to rediscover tastes and textures, to align bodies in familiar patterns and give in to instincts they'd been too young and too shy to explore during their former relationship. They were no longer high school sweethearts, but man and woman; it was only natural that their kisses gradually deepened and became more passionate. Kim moaned deep in her throat as Tommy claimed her mouth once again; her head was swimming, but she didn't care – nothing had felt so right, not for a long, long time. Not since she'd sat in her Florida dorm room one winter night and written a certain letter, to be exact.
As forTommy, he had shut off his feelings for so long, he could only revel in the myriad of sensations holding a woman in his arms again evoked. And not just any woman, but Kim – the girl he'd first given his heart to and had never been able to completely reclaim. Doors he'd deliberately closed and locked in his mind and heart cracked open, letting in first, tentative rays of light into darkened corners that accepted them eagerly, expanding and flowering like thirsty blooms after a warm spring rain. As he slowly sank into sensory bliss, feeling, smelling, tasting what it was like to kiss Kim – his Kim – again, he thought he heard bells ring in the distance. Smiling to himself at the fanciful thought, so unlike him, Tommy began to nibble at the corners of Kim's oh-so-soft mouth when the ringing sound came again. He frowned, but was unwilling to let go of this most delicious pursuit. When it happened a third time, he felt Kim stiffen in his arms, and reluctantly he came out of his delightful haze to stare into smoky doe eyes.
*Rriing –rriing!*
"T-the phone," Kimberly gulped, her breath coming in short, fast gasps. She looked over her shoulder, searching the room somewhat helplessly for the source of the intruding sound. A fifth ring finally sent her scurrying to the outlet on a small desk at the far wall. Tommy was tempted to ask her to just turn it off, but the mood was broken. He answered Kim's apologetic smile with his own rueful one as she picked up the receiver and tried to control his own recalcitrant breathing and racing heart.
"Yes?" Kim said into the mouthpiece, her voice still husky. "Who is ... oh, Michael!" She shot a slightly guilty look at Tommy. The young man froze as he recognized the name of the man Kim was dating. Stiffly, he made his way past her out to the small balcony, giving her privacy. For one of the few times in his life he could remember, Tommy wished for a stiff drink. *Just what the Hell were you thinking, Oliver?* he berated himself silently. *Kim's no longer your girlfriend; if that phone hadn't rung, there's every chance you'd have ended up making love to her!* He was honest enough with himself to know this to be true. A small, delicious shiver raced down his spine at the thought, much as it always had when they'd both been seventeen and he'd started to fantasize about getting intimate with his pretty girlfriend. He was mulling that over in his mind as the glass doors opened and Kim stepped out on the balcony as well. Silently, the two stood side by side, looking out over the city, oblivious to the balmy night air or the twinkling lights below. Finally, Tommy said what he felt he must.
"I'm sorry, Kim. I shouldn't have done that."
"Done what?" It hurt to hear him say it.
"Kiss you." It hurt to have to admit that.
"You weren't alone there, Tommy," she scolded him lightly. "I ... I could have said no."
"That's no excuse," he shook his head. "I had no right to kiss you like that – not when you're with someone else."
"I told you, Michael and I aren't really an item. He'll have no right to accuse me of anything. Besides, there's no need to blame yourself. After all, we didn't plan on any of this, did we? No real harm was done; it just ... happened."
The phrase triggered something in Tommy's memory. For a few moments, he couldn't place the reference, then flinched as if someone had struck him. Ignoring Kim's questioning look, Tommy chased the memory down. It had been last year, in his parents' house ... the voice saying the very same thing hoarse with strain but still charmingly accented ... the eyes looking at him tear-filled and crystal blue ... Kat, confessing to him that she'd betrayed him with his best friend.
Retreating a few steps from Kim's bewildered gaze, Tommy blindly searched behind him for the door back inside. His mind was whirling chaotically, replaying that last 'conversation' he'd had with Katherine before he'd kicked her out and mixing it with the events of the past half-hour.
"Tommy?" Kim asked, concerned, reaching out to lay a small hand on his forearm. Roughly, he shook it off; he was in no state to deal with her right now. First of all, he needed to get his roiling emotions back under control.
"I ... not now, Kim. I can't. I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you, but ...."
"Okay," she acceded, clearly puzzled at the near-panic evident in his voice and eyes. She'd never seen Tommy quite this rattled. "We can talk tomorrow, maybe?"
He only nodded. "I ... I need to get out of here."
With that, Tommy Oliver did what he'd never done before – he ran away.
~*~
*It just happened.*
The phrase danced in his mind incessantly as he showered and slipped between the cool sheets in his dark room. It was what Kat had told him of the events between her and Jason, and he'd scoffed derisively, not understanding how something like that could come about without intent and forethought.
*It just happened.*
It had seemed so unlikely at the time, but now he had no choice but to believe – because he'd been in almost the same situation. A cosy room, mellow mood, suggestive atmosphere; a red-blooded man holding a beautiful woman in his arms ... if that phone hadn't rung, he wouldn't be here in his own room, alone, but quite possibly two floors up, making passionate love to Kimberly.
*It just happened.*
Was that really how it had been for Jason and Kat? It had always seemed so unlikely, so unbelievable. How could one lose one's head so completely that nothing else mattered but the person one was touching? If he hadn't experienced that very phenomenon a scant hour ago for himself, Tommy would still be denying the possibility. Now, he no longer could. If things had happened in any way like that for his friend and his lover, he could not justify holding on to his righteous anger. Because if Kat had been telling the truth – and she'd been right about one thing at least, she'd never lied to him -- no call or anything else had interrupted her and Jason; they'd been truly swept away by the magic of the moment – something Tommy hadn't been able to understand until now.
*This was different!* a part of him insisted. *You and Kim have a past history with each other; it was only natural that you would end up kissing her one of these days!* Another part which had been silent too long immediately replied. *So what? Jason and Kat were close friends al least; remember how glad you were when they hit it off so well together, making it unnecessary for you to choose between your best friend's company and being with your girlfriend?* Tommy had to admit that was so. *But they should have thought of me – should have remembered that Kat was my lover, and not free to get together with anybody else!*
The hurt part of him was not ready to give up on the resentment and anger he still felt. Even after over a year, Tommy refused to let go of the pain. However, the honest, just part of his mind had an answer, as well.
*Like you remembered this Michael guy right now? Kim may say that she's not really involved with him, but she is in a relationship – not free, as you are. Like Jason was. You should have thought of that.*
*They didn't,* he insisted to himself, but it came out a lot weaker than he liked. *They were my friends, and they betrayed me. Jase and Kat forgot all about me ... about how I would feel ...*
*Did you think of how Kat felt when you cancelled on her? Or if Jason ever resented you for making him take your place? What if he'd had a girlfriend of his own? Would life have been so easy and uncomplicated for you if he hadn't been willing to substitute for you? Or if Kat hadn't liked him enough, hadn't cut you enough slack to accept your excuses?*
*...no ...* He had to concede that much, at least. Blushing in the darkness despite himself, Tommy continued his inner debate. *So I put my interests above Kat's – theirs – on occasion. Okay, it was wrong, I can see that now. But I didn't do it on purpose, or to hurt them. I just didn't think.* It sounded feeble even to his own ears. *So I made a mistake. Is that a crime? I'm only Human!*
*So are they,* the voice in his mind, unheard for too long, said quietly, then went away. Tommy lay on his back in the darkness, pondering the statement – and the undeniable reality of his reawakening feelings for Kimberly – for a long, long time.
~*~
September
"Tommy, please – I'm serious about this," Kim pleaded with him as they waited for the limo to carry them to a TV studio in downtown Los Angeles. "I don't want our relationship to be plastered all over the tabloids tomorrow morning. And if you're not careful, Edie Jenkins will ask questions of your love life; you know what kind of a 'reporter' she is!"
"I know, Beautiful," he soothed, kissing her gently. This morning talk show interview was the last public appearance on their publicity tour, and they were both heartily glad to resume their normal lives. The constant trips back and forth all over the United States were time-consuming and exhausting. While they'd taken care that the appearances hadn't interfered much with their respective professions, they had cut deeply into much-needed private time; but that was the price they'd had to pay for the not unsubstantial financial support. Tommy could now hire better mechanics and implement the necessary technical changes on his car to keep up with his opponents, and Kim had landed a position as design assistant with their sponsor. She would move from Florida back to California to get a degree from a college on the coast, enabling her to be closer to Tommy whose team was still based at the track in Stone County.
"If necessary, I'll make something up to throw her off the trail if Edie won't let up," he promised his new/old girlfriend. Inwardly, he shook his head at how fast things had moved between them during the last month. When he'd woken after a restless night in New Orleans, he'd found a note for him by Kim that told her she'd been unexpectedly recalled home. Confused yet relieved at the reprieve, Tommy had looked forward to their next meeting with a mixture of dread and excitement. When the petite ex-gymnast walked into their hotel in San Antonio two weeks later, he felt his throat constrict almost as intensely as during that long-ago afternoon in Angel Grove Park when he'd first tried to screw up his courage to ask Kimberly out.
~*~
It had been during dinner at Riverside Walk that Kim had confessed to him that she'd broken off her relationship with the shadowy Michael.
*"I never was in love with him in the first place; not really,"* she'd said. *"Of course he was sad, but I know I didn't break his heart by calling things off. And I just couldn't go on dating him – not after the kiss we shared in New Orleans."*
*"Then ... it wasn't just me who felt it was special?"* Tommy had asked hopefully. That was the conclusion he'd come to in the two weeks since he'd seen Kim last.
*"No,"* Kim had replied, blushing. *"There always was something special between us, and I think we never quite lost it – despite everything, didn't we?"*
*Yeah,"* he'd answered, his heart soaring at the soft confession. *"These last few months ... Kim, I've started to feel alive again, and that's all due to you."*
*"Do you ... do you think we can start over?"*
*"I prefer to think of it as a new beginning,"* had been his reply. *"Based on what we had, sure, but as the people we are now, not the ones we have been."*
They had become lovers that night, and waking up the next morning with Kimberly in his arms made Tommy all but forget there had ever been someone else in his life. At odd moments, thoughts of Kat still intruded on his consciousness, but it was easier to push them away back into the recesses of his mind. He was too happy about being happy again to dwell long on past hurts, and as before, Kim started to fill the empty places in his life. In a lot of ways, it was like the time he'd lost his Powers the first time, and yet it was completely different. Most notably, they were no longer teenagers, but adults, accountable only to themselves for their actions. Both Kimberly and Tommy agreed to take it slowly in getting truly serious, though, their new intimacy notwithstanding; for now it was enough that they were in love once more, leaving thoughts of the future aside. It was because of this decision that Kim was asking Tommy to keep their rekindled relationship out of the public eye for now. It wasn't going to be easy.
~*~
"You know what I'm going to enjoy most after today?" Tommy asked conversationally as they drove towards the studio.
"No, what?" Kim asked, slipping her hand into his and enjoying the gentle squeeze she received in return.
"That I'll be able to retire my dinner jacket until the end of the year. I think I've worn it more often than any other suit I've ever owned since this whole thing started in January. When I think of the crowds last night ...!" he groaned.
"Oh come on – at least last night was for a good cause," Kim reminded him. "I almost felt like being at the Academy Awards, what with the TV crews and everything."
"There's that," he conceded. "Besides, you looked absolutely terrific."
Kim blushed with pleasure at the compliment. Last night's engagement had been a gala Charity Dinner held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion, in aid of programs to keep kids out of trouble. It was a cause that had always been important to Kim and Tommy, and the opportunity to mingle with lots of celebrities and do some good had been worth the notoriety. She'd taken great care to choose an exclusive, figure-hugging cocktail dress that displayed her trim physique at its best without being too revealing. She'd always had fun to dress up for Tommy, but the way his brown eyes had lit up made all the effort worthwhile.
"Thanks," was all she said, though. They arrived at the studio and while Tommy went through makeup and preparation, she sought a place in the decorations where she could observe him without being seen by anyone else. When Tommy's segment came up, the interview went pretty well, all things considered; he answered the questions his hostess was directing at him easily and with a friendly charm that made Kim's heart soar, remembering the first time they'd all been on national TV as Rangers on the Harvey Garvey Show. Even under his helmet, Tommy's charisma had been unmistakeable. Unfortunately, Edie Jenkins lived up to her past as a tabloid reporter; despite everything Tommy could do, she inevitably zeroed in on his personal life. Kim anxiously moved forward a bit, standing just out of sight behind one of the cameras. Surely Tommy would remember his promise, wouldn't he?
"Well, and what about your love life, Mr. Oliver?" the reporter asked coyly, leaning forward in her seat. "Surely a handsome young man like you, a successful race car driver, has someone to ... reward ... him after all that hard training? Or maybe even ... several someones?" Her suggestive tone just barely stopped from becoming sleazy.
Tommy thought fast. He didn't like to lie, not even to the press, but how to get out of this without doing so?
"No, never several," he laughed easily. "I tend to have a somewhat ... shaky ... memory, as my friends would tell you, and keeping several women apart and hopefully unaware of each other would strain it to the breaking point and beyond."
"But there is one woman in your life?" the woman insisted.
"I certainly have a dream girl," Tommy evaded. "If and when I'll ever get together with her ...." he shrugged eloquently, letting the sentence trail off. Let the nosy reporter draw her own conclusions! He sneaked a peek at Kim, who nodded approvingly behind the cameraman's back.
However, Edie Jenkins was not so easily thrown off.
"Will you at least give our viewers and your female fans a description of your dream girl, Thomas?" she insisted. The automatic answer springing to his mind was "petite, brown-eyed and brown hair, with the most gorgeous smile imaginable", but that would never do. He knew that Kim and he had been caught on film together at the Charity Banquet last night, and it would be too easy to link their names romantically. They didn't want that. Instead, he said the first thing that sprang to mind, smiling and winking at Kimberly as he did so.
"My dream girl is ... a long-legged, blue-eyed blonde with a sweet disposition. Someone graceful and elegant," Tommy elaborated, blithely unaware that he'd just given a perfect description of Kat. "I'd do anything for her, if she just loved me for who I am, and would accept that I'm not always easy to live with."
"Oh?"
Tommy grinned self-deprecatingly. "Well, Edie, as you surely are aware, no man is perfect. I sometimes fly off the handle, then have a very hard time to admit I was wrong and make amends. But, doesn't everybody?" His eyes were still on Kim, who grinned at him and gave him a thumbs-up sign. Her soft brown eyes glowed at the smile he sent her way as she ducked away before the camera backed into her.
Thankfully, the show's producer signalled that the interview had come to an end, and Tommy and Kim breathed a silent sigh of relief. Within minutes, they concluded Tommy's business and ran hand in hand out of the building, giddy like kids.
"Free at last," Tommy sighed as they wandered through a small park a while later.
"Yes," Kim laughed. "You did great, we have no more obligations to the company, and I'm moving back to Angel Grove next month!"
"I can't wait," Tommy confessed, stopping in the shade of a tree to draw Kimberly into his arms. "I missed being home, missed having you close by ... "
Kim hugged her tall lover. "Me, too," she answered throatily. Her eyes closed in bliss as Tommy bent to kiss her. When she could talk again, she smiled up at him mischievously. "You can put all your free time between training and racing to good use by helping me search for an apartment, shop for furniture ..." she giggled at his rolling eyes and comical groan. However, Tommy became serious very quickly.
"Kim ... there's something I want to talk to you about," he started, blushing slightly. Curious, Kim nodded encouragingly; once again, she was irresistibly reminded of the time he'd tried to ask her out for the first time. All that was missing was the wringing of his hands.
"Well ... I was thinking ... you know I don't have a place of my own yet, but I don't think I want to continue living with my folks ... not with the way things are between us now ... I mean, I was thinking if ... if you maybe .. um ... if you and I ..." his blush intensified. She had to hide a grin. Kim knew very well what Tommy was getting at; the thought had been on her mind as well, and held considerable appeal. But there was no need to make a quick decision, was there? As Tommy continued to hem and haw, she considered her response.
"...Kimberly?" Tommy finally asked, hesitantly.
"Huh? Oh." Kim took pity on her lover. "Are you asking me if I want to live with you?"
"Yes," he replied, relieved that she understood him so well. He'd never thought about moving in with someone before, but he found himself wanting to with Kim. "I don't want to rush you or anything – I know we've agreed to take it slow, but ... I don't want to be apart from you more than absolutely necessary. I've had too much of that in the past." Implied was that it wasn't just her, but Kat as well.
Kimberly knew that one of these days Tommy would have to resolve his feelings for Kat before they could truly think of a future together. Tommy had taken the first step, but still harbored too much anger and resentment towards her and Jason. Kim didn't doubt his feelings for herself were genuine and was too happy herself in her new relationship with Tommy not to want to try to eventually heal the rift among her friends. But that could wait, at least for a while yet. Let him get used to loving again first.
"Why don't we see what kind of apartments are available once I return?" she suggested huskily, drawing Tommy down into another slow, sweet kiss full of promise.
"At least you didn't shoot me down outright," he sighed, returning her kiss. "As long as there's hope, I guess I can wait a while for you to make up your mind."
"Who knows what the future will bring?" Kim whispered. For now, it was enough that they were together again.
"Peace and happiness for all?" Tommy suggested, lightening the mood.
"I could live with that," Kim agreed laughingly. Hand in hand, the two reunited lovers made their way back. At long last, they were going home.
~*~
"Ugh!"
Kat grunted as she tried to close the button of her favorite pair of jeans. It still was no use – she could hardly get it through the hole, and the way her stomach bulged over the waist was anything but attractive. Muttering darkly under her breath, the young woman stepped out of the too-tight pants, hung them away and reached for a loose calf-length skirt with an elastic waistline. Just before she drew the garment over her head, Kat caught sight of herself in her dresser mirror. Sighing, she let the skirt drop onto the bed and studied her reflection.
Long legs, rounded hips, slightly fuller waist and bosom ... all in all, Kat supposed her figure wasn't too bad as things went, but the dancer was painfully aware of every ounce of weight she still carried from her pregnancy and couldn't seem to lose, no matter how hard she tried. Nine-and-a-half pounds didn't sound like much, but they were enough to prevent her from fitting into most of her pre-pregnancy wardrobe. She scowled angrily, noticing the faint stretch marks on her pale skin. Again, it wasn't too bad, but it was yet another irritant in her life right now. Kat yanked her top down over her smooth belly, wishing it was as firm as it used to be.
*How the heck am I going to look in my leotards three weeks from now?* she asked herself. *It's bad enough that I'm so tall; do I have to be 'big' as well?* Miserably, she remembered the time right after graduation, when she'd prepared for her entrance exam for the Royal Dance Academy. In comparison to some of the other students, she'd felt positively huge. Realistically, she knew that her current weight was actually a little over two pounds less than at that time, but the thought didn't help her now. The usually firm flesh of her abdomen and thighs was now soft; the muscles had had no time yet to regain their former suppleness, but in her current state of mind, Kat was too upset to think rationally.
*I'm fat, and flabby, and ugly – I have no time to do something for myself. No wonder Jason won't look at me anymore, much less touch me!* It never even occured to the young mother that her husband's seeming neglect had nothing whatsoever to do with her slight weight gain.
As Katherine dressed in her cotton-print skirt and tucked a pale pink t-shirt into the waist, she mentally enumerated all the things that had gone wrong since her baby's birth. A fleeting smile curved her lips as she thought of the little boy asleep in his nursery across the hall; if nothing else, she loved her son with all her heart, more than she'd ever thought possible – even though the little rascal was the direct cause of her weight gain. The smile vanished.
Wandering into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee, Kat's thoughts once more returned to her problems while she sipped the hot liquid. The first three months or so after Robin's birth had been near-perfect – but with the onset of summer, that had changed. Suddenly, the cheerful, happy baby had begun to suffer from constant colics, crying with pain for hours. The pediatrician had reassured a frantic Jason and Kat that, while serious, the condition wasn't dangerous; it was a fairly common affliction that mostly hit baby boys. The colics could be controlled and soothed with a special diet, careful massages and hot-water bottles against the little tummy, but that didn't make the pitiful wails any easier to bear for the young parents. Kat had lost count of the nights she'd spent wandering their apartment, cradling her son as he squirmed in her arms, sobbing and in distress. Now, after almost three months, the colics had finally ceased, but Kat had paid the price by being in a near-constant state of exhaustion. She was only slowly regaining her own vigor.
*I wish I had the energy to exercise as I know I should,* Kat thought morosely. *But I'm so glad I can do things while Robin's asleep and then get almost a good night's sleep myself, I just can't bring myself to do more than I absolutely have to.* She still had to get up once a night to feed their small son, but it looked as if that time was going to be over soon. Robin had already slept through a few midnight meals.
The former Pink Ranger's thoughts turned towards their next problem – finances. She'd planned on taking a four-month break while she was nursing, but with baby Robin so sick, going back to work had been out of the question for Kat. She earned a little additional money by substituting now and then, but it was a far cry from her steady income of before. Jason's dojo was doing well, but as was normal over summer, attendance had dropped off, and the students were only slowly flocking back now that school had started again two weeks ago. It would have been okay for her to go on a longer temporary hiatus from work under normal circumstances, but what with the medical bills from her delivery and the baby's illness, money was rather tight in the Scott household for the time being. Kat looked wistfully at the JC Penny catalogue tucked into a corner. The front page showed a lovely dark blue winter parka the exact shade of her eyes, but the way things were right now, she'd have to make do with her three-year-old coat for another season. Not that it was that much of a hardship, but ... she sure loved pretty clothes! But shopping sprees like she'd indulged in with Aisha during their school days were definitely out of the question at present.
~*~
Sighing, Kat finished her coffee and made her way to the living room. Placing a basket full of laundry next to her on the couch, she clicked on the TV and sorted through the channels until she found one that didn't show cartoons. While she wasn't in the mood for music, she wanted to distract herself from the mindless task of folding underwear and sorting socks. As she started to separate the laundry into different piles, the young mother sat through the news, then watched with half an eye as one of the ubiquitous morning talk shows was announced. The theme was going to be "Rising Stars", and Kat was just about to switch channels, when something caught her attention.
*"...and among today's guests, Edie Jenkins will interview entrepreneur Mareta Locke and stock car driver Tom Oliver."*
Tommy? Tommy was going to be on TV? Kat sat up straighter, her laundry all but forgotten. The sports section of the Angel Grove Gazette faithfully reported on Tommy's career – after all, he still was considered a "local boy" – but this was the first time (to her knowledge) that he'd made one of the nationally-syndicated shows. A sense of pride in her ex-lover filled Kat that was all out of proportion. *I knew he could make it!*
Impatiently, the blonde sat through the first half-hour of the program. Then, finally, a last commercial break came on before Tommy's segment. Kat put Jason's socks aside, then jumped up impulsively and popped a tape into the VCR. She had the recording running just in time as the dark-skinned reporter announced her next guest; under a round of hearty applause Tommy entered the soundstage and sank onto the comfortable couch to be interviewed. Kat forgot everything about her as she drank in his open, relaxed features. This was the Tommy she remembered in her secret fantasies, not the pale, angry man who had all but thrown her out of his parents' house.
A small portion of Katherine's mind protested against her absorption as she hung on every word he said, laughed at every small joke he made. *What are you doing? Tommy's not your concern anymore! You're married to Jason, you have a baby! You have no business pining for him – not after all this time!* Impatiently, Kat shushed the voice inside her head clamoring for her attention. Instead, she focused all the more on the TV screen, taking in the persona Tommy presented on the show – every inch the successful, charming, charismatic athlete. His long mahogany hair gleamed under the klieg lights, wavy and slightly untamed, the way Kat had always liked best. She suppressed a small shiver as she recalled how it had felt to have those soft strands glide over her skin when they'd made love.
"Oh, Tommy," she sighed wistfully as another commercial break came on. "I wish you could forgive me!"
Kat stiffened slightly. What was she thinking! She was a married woman ... the next instant, the part of her mind that had persisted in reminding her of her former boyfriend at odd moments throughout the months since their breakup, that had caused the miserable flare-up last Christmas, slyly insinuated that there was nothing wrong with her wish. *You were friends once; if he forgave you, you could be friends again, couldn't you?* Implied was that out of friendship, something more could grow. She felt a blush rise in her cheeks.
*Jason promised he'd let you go if Tommy should forgive you,* the voice reminded her next. Angrily, Kat shook her head. *SHUT UP!* the rational part of her mind railed, but both voices fell silent as Tommy's smiling face reappeared on the screen. Kat listened hungrily to every exchange, marvelling at how suave her ex-lover appeared. While always self-confident, Tommy sometimes had been capable of showing an endearing shyness when dealing with women. None of that was visible in the skillful way he handled the show's hostess, whose questions became more personal and intrusive as the interview wound down.
*" .... a description of your dream girl, Thomas?"*
What was that? Kat figuratively pricked her ears. What was Tommy's dream girl?
*Don't you mean "who"?* the nagging voice in her head asked, but all of Kat's attention was riveted on the TV.
*"... a long-legged, blue-eyed blonde with a sweet disposition ... graceful and elegant,"* she heard Tommy say. The playful smile around his firm lips and twinkling in his chocolate-brown eyes seemed to be aimed directly at her as he gazed into the camera.
*That's me!* everything in Kat exulted. The overwhelming rush of pleasure she was experiencing almost made her miss the next words.
*"...have a very hard time to admit I was wrong and make amends. But, doesn't everybody?"* Again, the charming smile leapt at her, and Kat was lost.
*He's willing to forgive me! He all but admitted I'm the woman of his dreams, and what else can he mean by his statement? That HAS to be it!* Dazedly, the young woman watched the interview draw to a close and the next commercial come up. Automatically, she clicked off the VCR along with the TV; she'd seen enough, and needed time to think. If her conclusions were right, what was she going to do?
~*~
"Two more months," Jason sighed as he dropped his pen onto the desk and rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly. He sat in his small office at the back of his dojo, going over the books. Two more months of increasing enrollment, and he'd be back on his feet again. If only Robin's illness hadn't dipped so into their savings! It wasn't that his little family was lacking anything important; it was just that their comfortable existence was temporarily strained. Both his and Kat's parents helped them in lots of little ways – filling up their pantry or freezer with precooked meals, or quietly borrowing the car and bringing it back serviced and filled up – but that was all the younger Scotts would accept. If nothing else, both he and Kat had their pride.
Unfortunately, their pride couldn't change the fact that Kat's salary was sorely missed. She was supposed to go back to part-time teaching at the first of October, but that meant daycare for the baby on three days of the week. As soon as Kat went back on a full-time schedule in January, Helen Scott and Doris Hillard had volunteered to look after their grandson on the other two. So, for the time being they were going to have even more expenses than before. But that wasn't the worst.
With another sigh, Jason opened a drawer and pulled out a sheaf of papers. They represented everything he'd worked for since he'd opened his school – the chance to get out of being just another small sports establishment in a relatively unpopular part of town and instead becoming the owner/manager of a well-respected Martial Arts club. He thumbed through the documents. It was the option on a lease for a new, larger dojo; the previous owner, Jason's first sensei, was about to retire, and had offered his former student to take over the excellent facilities. He would need only to spruce the place up a little bit, and he'd be set – it would be a big step forward from the somewhat cramped conditions that prevented the Red Thunder Dojo from attracting the best Karate students in town. However, it was not to be – not now. Jason simply couldn't afford the deposit on the lease. Next year, maybe ... the studio had an excellent location, in Merchant Square, right next to a small shopping center with lots of parking space. It was all but ideal – if he had the money. Jason smiled wearily, sadly, sorting the papers into a neat stack. By the time the young sensei would be able to come up with the required sum, somebody else was certain to have snapped up the place. Glancing resignedly around his cramped office, Jason did what he had resolved to do. He reached for the phone.
*"Ninja Warrior Dojo,"* a friendly female voice answered after a few rings.
"I'd like to speak to Mr. DeSantos, please," Jason said, forcing a calm he did not feel into his voice. He waited a few moments, then heard Rocky come on the line. He was breathless. *Probably in the middle of class,* Jason realized, but that couldn't be changed now.
*This is Rocky DeSantos; what can I do for you?"*
"Hello, Rocky; it's me, Jason."
After several heartbeats, the former Blue Ranger's voice came again, much colder than the cheerful greeting had been.
*"What do you want?"*
Closing his eyes briefly, Jason drew a deep breath. Rocky hadn't been kidding when he'd told him he'd break off contact except for business reasons. Well, this was business.
"I'd like to meet you at the Angel Grove Karate School, in Merchant Square."
*"Why?"* The cool indifference and suspicion hurt.
"Because the place will close down soon, and I hold the option of leasing it. Only I can't; not now, anyway. If you're interested, you can have the option."
Jason knew that like him, Rocky was looking for a new studio. It hurt to give up his own dream, but it hurt a little bit less to give it to a friend – even if that friend didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. He felt his eyes sting a little. While Rocky had never been a really close friend, they'd often met to spar, to exchange techniques and information. Once, they'd even held a small inter-dojo tournament for their students. All of that had stopped with Rocky's condemnation of Jason and Kat on Tommy's behalf. The only contact they still had with each other was when they had Karate Association business to discuss, or when one or the other sent a student over to train. They both taught slightly differing styles, and Rocky's professional integrity wouldn't allow him to hold a student back whom he knew would benefit more from Jason's teaching than his own.
*"Allright. But I can't make it this week; the earliest free period I have is a week from Thursday."*
Jason checked his calendar. Today was Tuesday ... nine days from now, it'd be October already. Not that the delay would change much.
"Fine by me. I have a class at nine; will eleven be okay? In front of the building? It's number 247, right next to the construction site."
"Eleven. I'll be there." The line went dead. Sighing once more, Jason slowly replaced the receiver in its cradle. He wished desperately that he could talk to someone – anyone – about his problems, but there was no-one there. Both he and Kat still kept the true reason why they'd gotten married from their parents, and while Jason often longed to talk to his mother at least, he knew he just ... couldn’t. Of their friends, Zack was busy with his internship; the happy-go-lucky young man had surprised everybody by deciding to become a pediatrician, and from all reports, he was doing great. The children at the hospital in San Diego loved Dr. Zack, and he loved them right back. Trini was still at Berkeley, going for her graduate degree and preparing for finals; it'd be highly unfair to dump his problems on her right now. Billy was lost to all of them, maybe forever, since he went to live on another planet, and Tommy ... Jason clamped down on the thought almost savagely. He'd blown that avenue shut himself one spring night a year ago.
He knew he really should talk his problems over with Kat; they affected her and their baby equally, but he loved her too much to worry her with something they just had to ride out. A genuine smile crossed Jason's face as he thought of his wife and son. Robin had claimed a piece of his heart almost from the moment he'd been born, but it was the discovery that Kat had won an equally large part of his affection that was so marvellous, in the truest sense of the word.
Jason picked up the framed 8 by 12 picture of Kat and smoothed a finger down her cheek, as he often did in reality. His dark eyes grew soft as he contemplated the blonde loveliness of the woman in the photograph. He had no idea how it had happened, or when, he just knew that one day this summer he'd looked at Kat and realized that the warm friendship and respect he'd always held for her had deepened into love. He'd been tempted to tell her a dozen times since then, but with Robin's illness, the right time had simply never come. Not when Kat was always so worried or exhausted, or both.
*Soon, though,* the former Gold Ranger promised himself as he placed the frame back onto his desk, next to a baby picture of their son. *As soon as Kat is fully rested, we'll leave Rob with our folks one night, I'll take her out to a nice restaurant ... maybe a movie, or dancing ...and then I'll tell her. Maybe she's even come to love me a little in return, too ...*
~*~
Kat was standing in line at the supermarket checkout, juggling her grocery cart and a fussy baby. Exasperated, she blew a strand of hair out of her face. It had taken her longer to make some purchases than she'd thought, and his full diaper was making Robin very cranky. If she didn't get out of here soon, there would be loud complaints from one very unhappy little boy. As she shuffled forwards another couple of yards, her gaze fell on a rack with newspapers and magazines. Idly she scanned a few covers; Kat usually didn't care for tabloids, but as there was nothing else to do while she waited, she read the lurid headlines with an inward chuckle. Suddenly, her breath caught in her throat. Leaning past the woman ahead of her, she snatched up a magazine and looked more closely at one of the pictures. It showed a group of elegantly-dressed people at some gala event or other. Right at the edge of the group, there was a long-haired young man who bore a striking resemblance to Tommy.
With suddenly trembling hands, she flipped through the pages. There – almost the same photo, slightly larger. It was Tommy! The smiling profile was unmistakeable. Before the young woman could read the caption, it was her turn to pay for her purchases. In a flash, the magazine joined the pile.
Driving home in a daze, Kat had to force herself to concentrate on what needed to be done. Perishables into the fridge, a change and a bottle for the baby, and at last she could sink onto a kitchen chair and read the article. Apparently one of Tommy's sponsors had taken a group of 'his' athletes to a charity event in Los Angeles; Kat smiled as she recognized the beneficiary. That particular problem – keeping young kids off the streets and away from drugs – had long been a pet concern of her former boyfriend; small wonder he'd chosen to be there. She looked at the colorful pictures, searching for other snaps of Tommy. There was a close-up on the last page; Kat drank in the sight with hungry eyes when she suddenly frowned. The petite woman whose hand rested on Tommy's arm – could it be...? She tilted the magazine to get better light. The height was certainly right, so was the hair color ... if she could only get a better glimpse of the face! Hastily, Kat read the sidebar text.
*"...among the attendees, former Pan Global silver medalist Kimberly Hart of California ..."*
Kimberly had been there; worse, had been there with Tommy!
Kat felt all the old jealousy and resentment against her predecessor rise within her again. When she'd joined the team all those years ago, there had been a long period during which she'd felt as if she'd never measure up to the first Pink Ranger. It lessened only when she received the Zeo Powers; they were hers, unconnected with Kimberly in any way. Then, when Tommy oh-so-slowly began to respond to her careful overtures after receiving Kim's letter, there had been a different kind of insecurity to overcome for Kat -- that of filling another woman's place in a man's heart. Again, it only ended once she and Tommy had lived through their own separation, reunited and become lovers. That had been the one thing Tommy and Kim hadn't shared, that was uniquely Tommy and Kat's. Right now, though, when she was feeling so out of tune with herself and her life, everything came back with a vengeance for the blonde young woman.
*That ought to have been me at the gala with Tommy, looking glamorous, surrounded by celebrities, wearing a designer gown!*
The rebellious, envious thought suddenly filled Kat's mind, blotting out every measure of peace and contentment she had found over the last year or so. Nothing mattered anymore, not the love for her baby, not the quiet joys she and Jason had learned to share since Christmas ... nothing. The feeling was compounded by the sight of Kim wearing a slinky, short evening gown that hugged every slender curve, showing that there was not an ounce of excess weight anywhere on those limbs. Automatically, Kat's hand went to the slight bulge over her waistband, and she felt the blood rise to her cheeks. How could she ever compare to Kimberly, fat as she was? Sighing disconsolately, the dancer let the magazine flutter to the tabletop. Then, her eyes lit up with a sudden thought. The date – when had that gala taken place?
"Last weekend," Kat breathed, unaccountably relieved. The TV interview in which Tommy had described the woman of his dreams as a blue-eyed blonde -- *described me!* -- had been taped on Saturday – the day after the gala! Surely that meant that there was nothing serious between him and Kimberly?
"They probably just met because the have the same sponsor," Kat mused aloud. "They're still friends; why shouldn't they spend the evening together?" Echoes of how her relationship with Jason had developed sounded at the back of her mind, but Kat refused to listen. This was different -- it had to be!
Nevertheless, she felt compelled to watch the tape she'd made of the interview once again. Every single day of the week she'd gotten it out, listening to every nuance of speech, watching every fleeting expression on the lean, handsome face of her ex-lover.
*"...admit that I was wrong and make amends ..."*
The utterance, accompanied by a smile and a wink that seemed to leap off the screen directly at her, had begun to haunt Katherine. She knew that she was getting edgy, impatient with the baby and Jason, but she didn't seem to be able to help herself. Whereas it had disturbed her only a short time ago that her husband was distracted and didn't seek her out for any intimate contact except fleeting hugs and perfunctory kisses, now she welcomed the distance between them; encouraged it in fact by withdrawing herself. A small part of her protested feebly, telling her she was being unreasonable, that she was deluding herself, but it was drowned out by louder voices that resurrected dreams she'd believed shattered beyond hope, urged her to fantasize about her ex-lover and their reunion. These daydreams began to take over more and more of her time, letting her perform her daily duties mechanically and without enthusiasm. About the only thing anchoring Kat in reality was her baby. The baby's father became less and less important as thoughts of Tommy, of regaining his love, began to fill her mind during her waking hours ... and in her dreams.
~*~
Normally more observant of Kat's moods, Jason was too caught up in his business problems to pay much attention to what was going on in his home. Therefore, when he entered the kitchen on Thursday morning to eat a hasty breakfast – he'd played too long with a just-waking Robin and had to hurry if he wanted to make his nine o'clock class – he was completely unprepared for the surprise his wife had in store for him. Pouring himself a cup of coffee and snatching a piece of toast, Jason smiled distractedly at Kat as he kissed her good morning. He missed that she turned her face away so he'd only brush her cheek.
"Listen, kitten, I may not be home for lunch – I'm meeting Rocky at the new dojo at eleven. Business," he explained unnecessarily around hasty bites. He grabbed two pieces of fruit and a bottle of juice and stuffed them into his gym bag – there'd be time for a bite or two later. He hoped. "If this thing about the lease turns out okay, I'll have more time; maybe we can leave Baby at a sitter and go out this weekend? Would you like that?"
Kat drew a deep breath. She'd hardly slept a wink last night, thinking about what she was going to do. Over a week of agonizing, of mulling things over had crystallized a single thought – she needed to find out if Tommy had meant what he'd told that reporter. And to her overworked mind, already strained from her still-lingering physical exhaustion, there was only one way to accomplish that. The insistent voices that had plagued her so often during the early days of her marriage, silent so long, urged her to take this chance to get back with the man she'd always loved. That was Tommy, surely? Jason had promised he'd set her free when he proposed; it was her right to ask he keep that promise, wasn't it? She wanted Tommy, right? Nevertheless, she couldn't meet her husband's eyes as she spoke a single sentence in a hushed, but clear voice.
"I'd like a divorce."
The sudden silence in the sunny kitchen was deafening.
"You ... what?"
"I want out of this marriage. I'm going back to Tommy," Kat added, a bit more loudly. Now that it had been said, her wildly-beating heart settled down into a more steady rhythm. She glanced at Jason out of the corner of her eye. He stood stock-still, his face slowly draining of color. Kat suppressed a rush of guilt, making herself ignore the flash of pain shadowing the dark eyes. Before either could say another word, the grandfather clock in the living room suddenly chimed the quarter hour. Jason shuddered once, then forcibly collected himself. He carefully placed his mug on the counter and trashed his half-eaten slice of toast. He'd lost all appetite.
"I have to go. We'll talk about this later, when I get home," he said tonelessly, picked up his bag and marched out of the door, not looking back.
Kat stood in the kitchen, trying to control her churning emotions. "There's nothing to talk about," she muttered to the empty room, but even to her own ears it sounded ... hollow, somehow.
~*~
Jason drove to his dojo in a mental fog, barely able to concentrate on traffic. *Kat wants a divorce? She wants to get back to Tommy?* His thoughts were unable to get past that.
*What brought that on?* he wondered, completely bewildered. *Especially now? I thought things were going great -- well, fine, at least. What went wrong? Why does she want to leave me? What about our baby?* He had no answer as he changed and greeted his students as they drifted in. Focussing with a mighty effort on the task at hand, he started going through the warm-ups; only his almost life-long discipline enabled Jason to get through the ninety minutes of class. As he changed again into jeans and a sweatshirt for his meeting with Rocky, his mind continued to turn the problem over and over again, worrying, wondering, looking for answers, but coming up zero at every turn. Instead of answers, all he found was one single question.
*How can Kat not know that I love her?*
~*~
Around ten, Katherine brought baby Robin to a Daycare Center near her workplace. They had started with the regimen only at the beginning of the week -- while she was not yet teaching a full scchedule, both she and Jason had decided it would be best to establish a routine before she did so, with the beginning of January. Besides, her mother couldn't take the baby right now; the Hillards had left for a prolongued visit to Australia quite suddenly, when a business trip of Kat's father coincided with the Silver Wedding Anniversary of Doris Hillard's favorite sister.
Refusing to dwell on both sets of parents' likely reaction to her decision, Kat went to the ballet school and taught her beginner's classes until noon; she then drove back home again to spend a long lunch break doing her household chores. While she felt sick at the thought of eating anything, knowing Jason would want an explanation once he came home from work, the native Australian still automatically started a casserole for dinner, taking refuge in the routine of the everyday task. Her mind was curiously empty, although her gut was roiling. The former Pink Ranger forced herself to remain calm, not allowing herself to feel and remember her husband's obvious shock at her announcement during breakfast. If she did, there was a chance she might relent -- and she didn't want that. The voice in her mind that had kept her innermost feelings focussed on Tommy wouldn't allow otherwise. Bolstered by yet another viewing of the interview tape, it drowned out a tiny whisper that asked, *how can you do that to Jason? After everything he's done for you, all that he's been to you – how can you just ... leave ... him?*
"Because I don't love Jason. I love Tommy," Kat said aloud into the quiet surrounding her as she chopped vegetables. "I always have."
If only she sounded more convincing, even to herself!
~*~
"There he is," the heavyset young man murmured to his former classmate as he watched the red-and-black Blazer draw into the parking lot on Merchant Square. Farkus Bulkmeier took off his safety helmet and wiped his forehead, grinning a somewhat strained greeting as Jason walked up to them.
"Bulk, Rocky," the young man murmured. "Is anything wrong?"
"Nah," Bulk replied. "But as I was telling Rocky just now, we're having something of a problem with your school."
It was on the tip pf Jason's tongue to say that the airy studio wasn't his, not yet, and likely never, now, but he kept quiet; this didn't belong here. Instead, he cast a puzzled glance at the low, one-story building, then at Bulk.
"What kind of problem?" A lot of construction workers were swarming about on the roof, and a big crane was swerving towards the studio from the lot next door, where a new structure had been added to the house in back. The renovations being done to the combination shop/office building were so extensive, it almost qualified as a new construction. The site had been quiet since the weekend; bad weather had prevented work until this morning.
Bulk snorted disgustedly.
"When the rain started last Friday, we had to stow a truckload of gravel we need to fill in the rooftop before pouring cement; some stupid kid on the afternoon shift had the cockamamie idea of loading it on the roof of your building to save himself a few trips up and down a ladder. Unfortunately, it's against the Builders' Union rules, so now we have to cart it down first before we can continue."
"Uh-oh," Jason grinned, almost against his will, winking at Rocky. While Bulk had grown into a responsible adult and respected, competent worker, he still wasn't overly fond of unnecessary labor. Rocky stared back at Jason unblinkingly, and he sighed inwardly. Except for a murmured greeting, he'd had no reaction at all from his former teammate. Well, he should've expected that; he could live with it. Becoming businesslike, he turned to Bulk once more, who watched his crew critically as the crane started gobbling up gravel and small stones, to drop them beside the building.
"Is there any reason why we can't go in? We wouldn't be in the way, and it won't take long, anyway."
"I don't see why not," Bulk said after a moment's consideration. "Only, it's gonna be pretty loud."
"Noise doesn't matter," Rocky piped up, impatiently. "I'd rather get this over with now than reschedule; I have other things to do."
*...than meeting with me,* Jason mentally added, interpreting the semi-hostile glance Rocky directed at him correctly. Turning away to hide his sudden sadness, he groped in his back pocket for the keys the owner had left with him.
"I need to be back at the dojo by one, as well," he just said lightly, masking his hurt. "Shall we, then?" Jason smiled politely and gestured Rocky towards the door.
"Sure."
The two erstwhile Red Rangers entered the spacious facility and let the glass door fall shut behind them. The construction noise became a muted roar in the background, punctuated by the scraping of the crane as it scooped up another load of gravel every few minutes. As Jason turned on the lights and showed Rocky around, the other grew more open as his excitement mounted.
"This place is great," Rocky enthused as the tour was complete. "It's nearly ideal – a few renovations, and it could be open within a month." He admired the skylights letting in plenty of the bright October sunlight. Having them redone would create a light, airy atmosphere and lots of fresh air, even during the cooler months.
"I know," Jason said quietly, unable to keep the wistfulness completely out of his deep voice.
"Why do you want to give up the option?" the slightly shorter man asked suddenly. "I thought you wanted to expand and move closer to downtown ..."
"Because I can't afford to right now," Jason answered bluntly. "I ... we had unexpected expenses, less students over summer ... believe me, if I could, I'd spruce up the place myself. If Master Soong could wait until January ... but he won't, and I'd rather give the option to you than to a complete stranger."
"Why me?" Rocky challenged, feeling rather uncomfortable all of a sudden. It had been hard to maintain his antagonism as he'd discussed the facilities and martial arts with Jason, finding the joy in teaching they'd always shared undiminished, despite their estrangement. He was unprepared for Jason's answer.
"Because you're my friend – or at least used to be," was the calm reply, accompanied by a steady look from dark eyes. It was Rocky's turn to look away and hide his blush. To cover his embarrassment and to regain his equilibrium, he cast about for something – anything – that would give him the opportunity to get away from that look for a few moments.
"I'll just get a measuring tape and a notepad from my car," he mumbled. "I need to take a few notes."
"There's both in the office, I'm sure," Jason offered.
"Nah, it's okay; it'll only take me a minute," Rocky declined. Hastily, he strode towards the door, stepping out onto the pavement. The din from the crane was nearly deafening. Grimacing, Rocky hurried over to his own 4X4, and rummaged in his glove compartment. Tucking the measuring tape into his pocket, he took another moment to hunt for a pen. Just as he locked his car again, he happened to look directly at the well-lit studio, seeing Jason stand at the far wall, studying the pennants which hung there.
~*~
Later, Rocky remembered that several things happened at once. The crane, which had just removed another load of gravel, suddenly lurched violently, the hook holding the scoop snapped, and the heavy metal contraption crashed back onto the roof of the studio. The gravel still piled there was flattened out by the impact, the scoop tilted and slid ... and broke through one of the skylights. The sudden loss of support weakened the structure, and with a sickening, crunching noise the beams caved in and the whole roof collapsed inwards in a big cloud of dust.
Everybody and everything froze for an instant. Then, an icy fist suddenly seemed to clench in Rocky's gut.
"JASON!"
He thought he'd shouted his friend's name, but it had only come out in a strangled whisper; heedless of his own safety, the young man dashed towards the accident site, to be brought up short by a beefy arm.
"Let go of me," he choked, struggling against the hold.
"Rocky, you can't go in there," Bulk coughed through the still billowing dust. "It's unsafe!"
"You don't understand!" Rocky yanked free of the restraining hand. "Jason's still in there!"
Farkus Bulkmeier blanched.
"Are you sure?"
"Positive," Rocky rasped, a terrible sense of urgency filling him. "I saw him standing there, just when the thing fell," he pointed to the still-shifting pile of rubble at the back. A few broken rafters stuck up ominously from the greyish pile of debris.
"Good God," Bulk muttered. Then, drawing a deep breath, he started bellowing orders. Organized chaos broke loose around the two young men, who then carefully climbed towards the spot where Rocky had last seen Jason, and started digging.
~*~
Gene Skullovitch climbed out of his patrol car and approached the apartment block with a hard ball of dread knotting in his stomach. The things he had just seen, and which he now had to relate to someone who wasn't exactly a friend, but at least a close acquaintance, weighed heavily on his mind. Adjusting his tie, he tucked his peaked cap under his arm and searched for the right doorbell. Drawing a deep breath, he pressed the unobtrusive button once, noting in passing that it said simply "Scott" – no initials of any kind. Briefly he wondered at what unimportant details the mind chose to notice in a crisis.
When the buzzer opened the door, he made his way inside, taking the two flights of stairs rather than the elevator to gain a few more moments. In the third floor hallway, he looked briefly around until he saw the numeral 11 on one of the blond-wood doors. Walking up to it, his policeman's eye noticed that the spy hole darkened briefly, then he heard the sounds of locks being released. Sighing inwardly, he squared his shoulders against seeing Kat again under these circumstances; he loved being a policeman, but at times like this, he almost hated his job.
"Skull!" Katherine Scott exclaimed, a half-smile lighting her smooth features. She'd been rudely yanked out of her thoughts by the sound of the doorbell, and had to force her mind back into everyday tracks. What if Jason had decided to confront her now instead of tonight? But he would've used his keys; the man on the other side of the door had the same dark hair, but was leaner, less handsome ... she chased that stray thought away.
"My, don't you look good in uniform! I haven't seen you in ages; what brings you here?" She opened the front door and ushered Gene into the comfortable, bright living room. Smells of cooking came from the tiny kitchen, and with an apologetic smile, Kat closed the door on the inevitable mess of preparing a meal. Scooping a baby blanket and a stuffed toy off the couch, she gestured him to sit, but the young police officer remained standing. Kat cocked a quizzical eyebrow at her former classmate. "What's up?"
There was no sense in procrastinating; Kat needed to know what had happened, as soon as possible. Swallowing past his suddenly dry throat, the dark-haired young man forced himself to meet Kat's eyes.
"Kat ... I'm here on official business."
"Oh? Have I gotten a parking ticket, or has Jason been speeding?" she queried lightly, while she busied herself with putting other baby paraphernalia away. A queasy feeling she couldn't identify began to creep up on her.
"Neither," Skull managed. This was not going to be easy.
"Kat, it's Jason. There’s been an .... an accident."
*NO!* a voice inside Kat's head cried out. The young woman's movements stilled. Despite the sunlight streaming through the windows, she suddenly felt icy cold and suppressed a shiver with an effort. Straightening slowly, she turned towards Skull. Her face frozen in an expressionless mask, she asked the obvious.
"With the car?" Jason had taken the Blazer into town that morning; it had been serviced only recently, he normally was a good, conscientious driver, but one never knew ...
"No. He ... he was in Merchant Square, inside building no. 247."
"His new dojo," Kat supplied, puzzled. A small knot of tension eased inside of her. "He said he was going over to meet Rocky there; some business about the lease or option he had on the place. Why, what happened?"
Gene briefly closed his eyes. This was going to sound pretty gruesome, no matter what. Still, he tried to be as tactful as possible under the circumstances. Cursing the impulse that had made him volunteer to do this, the former bully almost snapped to attention. As if he was reciting things to a superior, he reeled down the pertinent facts as fast and as succinctly as he could.
"The building next door, number 248, is in the process of remodeling; last weekend, one of the workers dumped a truckload of gravel on the roof of 247 – against regulations. The rain we had during the week added extra weight, and apparently it weakened the roof structure. Investigation on that has already been initiated. While the construction crew was attempting to remove the gravel this morning, the crane's scoop tore lose, crashed down on a skylight and broke through the dojo's ceiling. The whole thing, it ... it collapsed inward.
"Kat ... Jason was still inside when the roof caved in; he was buried under the timber and gravel."
There, it was said. Skull watched with morbid fascination as Katherine's porcelain skin seemed to lose all color in a slow rush. Only her sapphire eyes suddenly started to burn with an all-consuming intensity. Her voice was completely toneless as she asked the foremost question in her numbed mind.
"Is he ... dead?"
"No – but he's been severely injured. As far as I know, he has a dislocated shoulder, several cracked ribs, and one of his legs was trapped under a broken beam. It ... it pierced his thigh and nicked an artery. There also may be internal injuries – he was bleeding from his mouth," Skull related, watching the blonde worriedly. He didn't know what kind of reaction he'd expected, but it wasn't this zombie-like calm. True, Kat and Jason's marriage had come as a total surprise to everybody not close to them, especially since Kat had been dating Tommy for what seemed like forever, but Skull had just assumed that she and Jason somehow had fallen madly in love one day. Well, maybe he'd been wrong about that – or maybe Kat just had a hard time showing her feelings to others. He turned his cap in his hands, waiting for the young woman to speak. When she did, her light voice had taken on a slightly hoarse quality.
"Where is he now?"
"The paramedics have taken him to Angel Grove Memorial" Skull supplied, more unnerved by Kat's composure that he wanted to admit. "I can take you there, if you want me to."
"I'd appreciate that. Give me a moment to take care of a few things, and I’ll come with you."
"Sure." The young police officer watched his former schoolmate walk into the kitchen, turn off the stove and quickly stow food in various stages of preparation in the fridge. Then, she called what was obviously a Daycare Center to make arrangements for her son to be delivered to his grandparents' house, and collected a jacket, her keys and a purse. Not a single unnecessary word was spoken. She then faced Skull.
"I'm ready."
~*~
The ride to Angel Grove Memorial passed in near-total silence. Once at the hospital, Skull tracked Kat to the ICU, more worried than ever at her complete lack of outward reaction. He knew that it might simply be shock that made Kat react like this, but it was still weird. She had always been so open with her emotions, not as controlled as any of the others of their special group of friends – a group Skull would have given a lot for being allowed to join. But that was irrelevant now. As Kat made a beeline to the double doors separating Intensive Care from the rest of the ER, they passed the waiting area, where Rocky was pacing up and down. When he saw the young woman about to pass, he stopped her.
"Kat, wait!"
There was an awkward silence as the two old friends looked at each other; they had hardly spoken to each other since Rocky’s confrontation with Jason shortly before their wedding, and for a moment, Rocky didn’t know what to say.
*To Hell with it! Kat – and Jason – were your friends; they’re going to need you now! This is not the time to dredge up grievances that were never yours to begin with!*
"Kat, I swear, I only stepped out for a minute to get my measuring tape and a notepad from my car; if I'd known ... but it all happened so fast ... one second, I saw Jason standing there, looking at some pennants, the next all I could see was the scoop falling, there was this awful crunching sound, and this enormous dust cloud over the building. I ... I went back in and started digging as soon as I could, but ...." the young man swallowed the lump in his throat as he remembered those frenzied moments when he'd realized that his former teammate had to be somewhere under the shifting, creaking mound of stones and timber. Recalling where Jason had been standing just before he stepped outside, Rocky clambered around the edge of the debris and started digging with his bare hands, not caring that he cut and bruised his hands in the process.
Praying fervently to whatever higher power would listen, Rocky shifted the gravel around with Bulk at his side. Taking a moment to cough his lungs free of dust, Rocky absently had noted a puddle of dark liquid gathering around his feet; it took his shock-numbed brain a few seconds to realize that it was blood. It seemed to come from under the débris. Having a concrete starting point, the two men resumed digging frantically once more, both breathing a huge sigh of relief as they found a hand ... and a pulse. Bulk's shout directed the rescue workers to them, and it wasn’t long before they had uncovered Jason and loaded him into the ambulance, but Rocky knew he’d never forget the frightening sight of his friend’s face, bleeding from numerous small cuts and showing a greyish color that was probably mainly due to dust and grime, but enervating nonetheless.
Kat's small smile never reached her eyes as Rocky told her briefly what he'd witnessed; she lightly touched his shoulder, though, and looked at him with hooded eyes.
"I'm sure you did everything you could, Rocky; thank you," she murmured, her eyes already turning towards the ICU again. "It wasn't your fault...." her soft, toneless voice drifted off as she walked up to a nurse, identified herself and then was whisked off through the doors, towards her husband. Rocky shrugged helplessly, then met Skull's concerned look. Both men sighed heavily. They knew how hard this was going to be for Kat.
"Did you tell her?" Rocky asked his former classmate as they walked back towards the waiting area.
"Yeah."
"Man, I wouldn't have wanted to be in your shoes, then. It was bad enough facing her just now. Couldn't you have refused?"
"It comes with the job," the one-time punk shrugged again. "Not a part I enjoy, but ... anyway, I volunteered." At Rocky’s questioning gaze, Gene blushed slightly. "I ... I just thought Kat'd take news like that better from a friend than from a complete stranger. Not that she – we – were ever really friends, but ..."
Rocky clapped Gene on the shoulder. "You are, Skull; a friend, that is. Maybe not as close as the rest of us, but still a friend. I'm sure, when Kat can think straight again, she'll appreciate the gesture." He looked back at the closed doors again. More to himself than his companion, he softly gave voice to his thoughts.
"Strange how all I can think of now is that they are my friends, despite everything. I was so sure we'd never talk again, not after what they did to Tommy..."
"What do you mean?" Skull asked, curious. "I mean, we were all pretty stunned when Kat married Jason, after all the time she's been with Tommy, but ..."
Rocky colored, and trying to stall, he busied himself with drawing a cup of coffee from one of the vending machines, wincing as his cut-up hands hurt with the slight movement.
"This is the first time in over a year that I've seen or spoken to Kat in person, and to Jason only on business, when I couldn't avoid it."
"But ... why?!? I don't get it – you were all so tight in school, I always thought that nothing could break you guys up. What happened?" Skull frowned in bewilderment. "You don't have to tell me, if you can't, or won't, but I would've killed to have friends like that all my life. And now you tell me you had a serious fight, or something? Over what?"
Rocky sank into one of the vinyl-covered seats and took a sip of his coffee. Looking into the confused blue eyes of his former classmate, he finally decided it couldn't hurt to tell Skull what had caused the rift in their once-inseparable group.
"Or something. Jason got Kat pregnant while she was still dating Tommy. He broke up with her, of course, and the rest of us – well, Kim, Adam and me, anyway – took sides with him. Tanya ... she tried to understand, to mediate, being Kat's best friend and all, but ... Adam doesn't like her to be too close to Kat now, and since they're married ..." Rocky shrugged eloquently. Skull could fill in the rest on his own; Tanya had had to make a choice between her husband and her friend, and he couldn't really blame her for choosing Adam. He concentrated once more on Rocky's tale. "Tommy didn't deserve that kind of betrayal, so we more or less broke off all contact with the two, especially after Jason married Kat."
The policeman's eyes widened as he assimilated the information.
"Whoa, back up a minute! What do you mean, Jason got Kat pregnant? Just like that? How? Did he rape her, or what?" It seemed highly unlikely, knowing Jason, but stranger things had happened in Angel Grove.
"Of course not! Jase isn't like that!" Rocky's indignant reaction was swift, and genuine.
"Then what are you talking about? If he didn't force her – and from what I remember from school, Kat may not be a martial artist like the rest of you guys, but she could more than take care of herself, and wasn't the type to let herself be forced, anyway -- how could Jason 'have gotten' her pregnant? That at least implies unwillingness on her part ..."
"Oh, she was willing allright," Rocky grumbled, the old disappointment and anger at his friends' behaviour rushing back. "According to Tommy, Kat told him it 'just happened'. Yeah, right. If they had only stopped to think for a second ..." Bit by bit, he told Skull what had transpired last year in early summer, concluding with, "...they gave no thought at all to Tommy's feelings, just cared about themselves, and the itch they needed to scratch." Rocky was taken aback by how bitter and resentful he sounded, but he told himself he'd had every right to that, as well as shun Jason and Katherine as Tommy’s friend – didn't he?
Gene Skullovitch had gotten his own cup of coffee while he listened to Rocky's account. Sipping the bitter, black liquid slowly, he thought over what he'd heard, then looked at the former Blue Zeo Ranger.
"What did Jason and Kat have to say about this?"
"Huh?"
"You heard all this from Tommy directly after it happened, right?" Skull asked quietly.
"Yeah," Rocky admitted, suddenly starting to feel uncomfortable. "He told me a few days after the breakup, and after he'd hi ... uh, confronted Jason."
"Meaning Tommy beat Jason up? Wow. I didn’t think it'd ever go that far, they've always been so close," Gene remarked. Embarrassed at having revealed that bit of information, Rocky tried to bluster his way through.
"Well, Tommy had every right, didn't he? I mean, Jase was supposed to be his best friend! Best friends just don't do that to each other; Jason had it coming!"
"Did he fight back?" The shrewd insight, so unusual coming from the Skull he'd known at school, made Rocky blush as he reluctantly shook his head no.
"I didn't think so. Well, anyway ... while I understand your loyalty to Tommy, what I don't get is why you didn't go to Kat and Jason directly to hear their version of things?"
"I did, I ... Jason told me I had no right to accuse him of anything, that it was something between him and Tommy," Rocky confessed. The comment had smarted for a long time, especially since his conscience had said the same thing at the oddest moments. Whenever business had brought them together, to be exact, and he had had to force himself to keep up his hostile attitude.
"And that's why you broke off contact? Without listening to both sides? You guys always were so big on fairness – how fair have you been to Jason and Kat, then? You speak about the fact that Jason married her as if it was a crime; I happen to think it's the only way he could have acted, knowing Jason." Gene let that sink in. "The way I see it, you – all the rest of you – abandoned them when they needed their friends most."
"But they betrayed Tommy!"
"Granted – but has Tommy ever asked himself what made them do this? Both Jason and Kat are among the most loyal people I know; I'm pretty sure they didn't do anything just on a whim." Skull checked the time, collected his cap and brushed off his uniform pants. "And even if they did – is one mistake worth ruining a friendship over? Does their being Human make them less worthy to know?" The look from the blue eyes was very piercing, and Rocky squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. Hiding his confusion, he looked the former class clown up and down.
"Who are you, and what have you done with the real Skull?" he joked weakly, to cover his unease. There had been times during the last year when he had asked himself the same question, but he'd shied away from answering, telling himself he owed it to Tommy to maintain his distance. Maybe he ought to have listened ...
"I’m a police officer now," Skull said earnestly. "When I decided to join the force for good, not just playing at it like when Bulkie and I were in the Junior Police Department, I had to grow up – fast. I'm still not exactly the person I want to be, but I know I'm getting there. And over the last couple of years, I've seen things on the job ...." The pale blue eyes grew distant for a moment. Then, they refocussed on Rocky. "Let's just say, I can't afford to see only one side. The world isn't black and white, Rocky, not as it was for the Power Rangers when we were all still at school. It's not always that the bad guys have no good qualities at all, or that the good guys are always perfect." With that, he took another look at his watch, yelped in dismay and with a hurried "Think about it, will ya? See you around!" disappeared down the hospital corridor, leaving a very pensive Rocky behind.
~*~
Kat stepped into the cubicle the nurse pointed out to her, holding on to her composure with all her might. Her words to Jason of that morning now weighed heavily on her mind, and she wished she were anywhere but here right now. Hospitals were scary places at the best of times, and this ... this was definitely one of the worst. She forced herself to look at the bed. Her husband lay there bare to the waist, hooked up to all sorts of machinery while a technician and a nurse bustled quietly around, sparing her only a cursory glance as she approached the foot of the bed.
Jason looked terrible; apart from the grime on his hands, face and hair, his skin had an unhealthy pallor that was visible even to Kat's untrained eye. His left shoulder was discolored and immobilized, and the bloodstain on the pressure bandage around his thigh did funny things to her stomach. The young woman swallowed the bile rising in her throat. The immobile face, marred by tiny cuts and bruises, seemed to belong to a complete stranger, and Kat found herself wishing fervently that the midnight eyes would open and look at her, even if they held the same expression of hurt and confusion as they had in the morning. Had it really been only four hours since she'd put it there? Kat suppressed a moan. If there were a way to take back those words, she'd take it in an instant, she knew that now. She might want out of her marriage, but not like this! In any case, Jason deserved more than a cold-blooded request for divorce when he'd been everything she could have wished for in a husband – except being Tommy.
*I don't care anymore!* her inner voice wailed. *I just want him to wake up again!*
Her hands were white with strain as Kat clenched them around the guard rail at the foot of Jason's bed. They were starting to hurt, but the dancer was certain that, if she let go, she'd collapse to the floor. Try as she might, she could not avert her eyes from Jason, watching the shallow rise and fall of the broad chest as if mesmerized. The steady beep of a heart monitor should have been reassuring, but instead every tone sent a tiny dart of pain into her soul, pricking away at the numbness and opening a deep chasm within her.
A nurse came in with a basin of water and sponges; she took in the pale young woman staring at the patient, saw the wedding band on a slender hand and came to a decision.
"Mrs. Scott?" she asked softly, touching Kat carefully on the arm.
"Yes," Kat mumbled, dazedly. Her blue eyes were still fixed on the immobile figure on the bed.
"I was about to wash your husband, at least a little, so we can take care of the minor cuts," the nurse explained. "Would you like to help me?" She knew how it sometimes helped family members to do little things for their loved ones in crisis situations like this.
"I ... sure." Forcing herself to move, Kat picked up a sponge. Under the nurse's direction, she began to dab at the grime and dust streaking the handsome face, careful not to disturb the nasal tube or jostle the electrodes fastened to the tanned skin. She even managed to remove some of the dust from the short black hair, until Jason looked a little bit more like himself. He never stirred, though, and Kat could feel the lump in her throat grow, making it difficult for her to breathe. Just as she was about to stop, a doctor entered the cubicle. He briefly checked the monitors, adjusted the IV drip and motioned Kat outside. Numbly, she followed the man to the waiting area. Rocky was still sprawled in a chair, lost in his own thoughts, but he sat up as Kat faced the medic.
"Mrs. Scott, I'm Dr. Jones – I treated your husband when he was brought in at 12.17." Alec Jones drew a deep breath. This was never easy. "We fixed his shoulder, his ribs will be taped soon, and the cuts and bruises are not too serious. We hope the contamination through dirt can be contained, if infection should set in. X-ray found a hairline fracture in his skull, which accounts for him being unconscious, but that's not unusual. We'll immobilize his head somewhat, later. At first, we thought your husband also had internal injuries, but the bleeding from his mouth was caused by him having bitten the inside of his cheek when he was ... buried." The doctor saw Kat flinch at the word. He couldn't blame the young woman; the concept was rather frightening. "The biggest problem was the puncture wound to his thigh; we've sewn up the artery and stopped the bleeding, but ... Mrs. Scott, your husband has lost an awful lot of blood."
Kat tried to assimilate everything she was being told. It took an enormous effort.
"Can't you give him a transfusion?" she asked finally. That's what hospitals did in cases like this, wasn't it?
"Well ... that's where our next problem lies. Mrs. Scott, has your husband ever been exposed to radiation of some kind?"
Briefly, images of several magical rays their alien foes had fired at them flashed through Kat's mind, but Zordon and Dimitria's scans had never shown any lasting physical effects on any of the Rangers. Plus, it had been years -- surely there couldn't be any lingering damage?
"N-no," Kat stammered. "Not that I know of, anyway...."
"Hmmm. Strange. You see, it's like this – while your husband has a rare blood type –AB negative – it's not that rare. Our blood bank has enough serum on hand, but when we hooked up the first bag, he almost went into anaphylactic shock. We were extremely lucky that we caught it almost immediately, or we'd have lost your husband then and there. A more detailed blood workup was ordered, and we found some kind of weird element in his blood that has our lab people completely stumped. It's that which prevents us from giving him anything but saline solution to combat the loss of fluid."
Kat stared at the doctor, uncomprehending.
"What does that mean?" she whispered, only marginally aware that Rocky was now standing behind her, a hand on her shoulder. Alec Jones sighed.
"It means that, if we can't find a donor soon with that same element in his or her bloodstream, we won't be able to do anything. Saline transfusions can only go so far. And the systemic shock due to his injuries unfortunately inhibits the production of new blood. A proper transfusion would sort of kick-start the process, but without it ..."
"What you're saying is, without a real transfusion, Jason will have little to no chance of pulling through," Rocky said hoarsely. At the doctor's questioning glance, he introduced himself. "I'm a friend of the family."
It occurred neither to him nor to Kat to qualify that statement; it was nothing but the truth, after all.
"Unfortunately, yes," the white-coated man admitted. "We're doing everything we can, have already contacted the National Blood Bank and the Red Cross, but ..." he shrugged helplessly.
Kat swayed as the horrible reality penetrated her consciousness. Only Rocky's support held her upright.
"Is ... is there anything I can do?" she asked, unshed tears making her soft voice rough.
"You can pray," Alec Jones said solemnly. Before the middle-aged doctor could add more, he was paged. "I'm sorry, I have to go. Don't give up hope yet." With a smile that was meant to be reassuring, he hurried away.
~*~
"God, Kat, I'm sorry," Rocky murmured, stunned. This couldn't be happening – not to one of them! They were the Power Rangers; they were invincible – weren't they? He was briefly transported back to his own injury. It had been bad enough having to quit the team, but he'd never been in serious danger – not like this!
Before the young woman could answer, a nurse came up to them.
"If you want to sit with your husband, Mrs. Scott, I’ve put up a chair for you," she said sympathetically. It was hospital policy to give family members as much access as possible to critically ill patients when there was no danger of complications.
"Y-yes," Kat whispered, still in shock. Blindly, she wandered back to the door behind which lay the father of her baby, the man who had been sharing her life for over a year now. Before she could disappear behind the door, Rocky held her back.
"Is there anything you want me to do, Kat?" he asked softly, regaining at least some composure.
The blonde shook her head, then reconsidered. Lifting pain-filled blue eyes to her friend, she made a request.
"Please – call Jason's parents. They need to know. And ... and the others."
"Sure, Kat," Rocky mumbled. He didn't relish this, but he'd offered – besides, someone had to.
"Thank you," came the soft whisper, then Kat was gone, to sit at Jason's side. Where she belonged right now.
~*~
"...and when he lifted that thing, he fell over backwards and landed in the mud puddle. He'd expected it to weigh half a ton, and what he got were maybe twenty pounds," Adam finished with a grin as he held the door open for his wife.
Tanya laughed appreciatively.
"You guys are so mean," she giggled. "Worse than a group of first-graders, though!"
"Hey, Jack had it coming," Adam protested. "He shouldn't have boasted so much!"
"Maybe," Tanya conceded as she sifted through their mail. Sorting it quickly into private messages, business and junk, she wandered into the kitchen after Adam, who stood at the fridge, drinking thirstily out of a bottle of juice. It was warm for October, and he'd put in a long day at the studio.
"Why don't you go take a shower while I start dinner?""she suggested.
"Good idea," he agreed. "Don't bother with something fancy, though; I'm not all that hungry."
"Leftover lasagna okay? And maybe a salad?"
"Great. I'll hurry," Adam promised, gave his wife a teasing slap on her shapely rear and jumped out of her reach before she could retaliate. "Gotcha!"
"Did I say first-graders? Preschoolers, more likely," Tanya grumbled, but with a smile in her voice. "Go take that shower, or I'll come wash behind your ears!"
"Yes, Ma'am!" With a jaunty salute, Adam retreated, whistling to himself.
The young woman shook her head, but couldn't help the fond grin playing around her lips. She loved it when Adam was in a mood like this -- it told her that his day had gone well, that his job had been fun and successful. On days when things were different, he tended to crawl into his shell of quiet and shyness, and it took all of her persuasive powers to coax him out again.
Humming to herself, Tanya took a container with homemade lasagna out of the fridge and placed it into the microwave; while the spicy dish heated, she quickly cut up tomatoes, cucumbers and lettuce, put them into a bowl and prepared the dressing. Garlic bread was warming in the stove when Adam came back down, freshly showered and still barefoot, and together they set the table -- place mats, a small pot with African vioolets, cloth napkins and a candle. Nothing fancy, but still a nice atmosphere the two tried to create as often as they could. They ate and talked in harmony, and later did the dishes together. Just as Adam stacked the plates into the cupboard, he saw the light blinking on their answering machine.
"Didn't you listen to our messages?" he asked Tanya.
"No, I forgot," she admitted. "Anything important?"
"Let's hear," Adam shrugged and hit the replay button. The tiny machine whirred as the tape rewound itself, then turned on. A couple of messages were from colleagues, a call from Dr. Sloan informing his daughter his flight into Los Angeles would be delayed, a follow-up confirmation by Tanya's mother that she'd pick up her husband herself ....
"Nothing urgent, huh?" Adam commented, but the answering machine held one more call.
*beep*"Adam, Tanya ... it's me, Rocky. I hate to tell you like this, but ... it's bad news, guys. There ... there's been an accident. Here in Angel Grove." Rocky's voice sounded strange, strained, as if he were fighting for control. Tanya and Adam exchanged an alarmed look, but focussed immediately on the tape again.
"It ... it's Jason. We were meeting downtown, and ... long story short, he was in this building, a crane crashed through the roof, and he was buried under the rubble. He's in Angel Grove Memorial now, and he's critical. I ... Kat thought you’d want to know. Guys ... it doesn't look good." Abruptly, the tape stopped.
The young couple stood stunned, hardly daring to breathe.
"Oh my God," Tanya muttered incredulously as she sank into a chair. "This can't be happening!"
"Rocky wouldn't lie to us," Adam said hoarsely, just as shaken by the news. "Not about something like this."
"I know," Tanya whispered as her brain tried to assimilate the horrible concept of someone of their close circle of friends being injured, possibly ... no. She refused to even think about death -- not unless she absolutely had to. What did that mean for all of them? For Kat -- and her seven-month-old son? The thought cleared her mind. She knew what she had to do. Tanya raised her head and looked at Adam with determined eyes.
"I'm going to Angel Grove. Tonight. Kat will need me now."
Tanya's voice brooked no argument, and Adam knew better than to start one. He gazed at the lovely dark-skinned face for long seconds, giving nothing of his own thoughts away. His dark eyes were inscrutable, but very pensive. Finally, his mobile mouth quirked in a very tiny version of his trademark grin -- the one Tanya had fallen in love with alll those years ago.
"Want me to drive you?"
Tanya's shoulders sagged in gratitude and relief.
"Yes, please. And, Adam?"
He turned back towards her as he slipped into his shoes, lifting a questioning eyebrow.
"Thank you," Tanya whispered as she felt the first tears come.
Adam took his wife into a comforting embrace. They could spare a few moments. Nuzzling against the soft dark hair, his eyes grew distant as he said something that he'd all but forgotten, but was now very conscious of.
"We're friends. We don’t abandon each other in need."
"No," she sniffled, smiling through her worry. "Let’s hurry ..."
~*~
Katherine watched her inlaws walk towards the exit, John Scott gently supporting his sobbing wife. They'd promised to look after the baby while Jason was hospitalized, assisted by two of Rocky's teenaged sisters. It took one small load off Kat's mind, but as much as she loved her son, right now he was the least of her worries. Feeling still strangely detached – as she had ever since Skull brought her the news – she crumpled her empty coffee cup and absently tossed it into a trash bin. The door to Jason's small room loomed before her, and she had to draw several deep, calming breaths before she could steel herself to walk inside. Night had fallen outside, and the lighting was subdued; only the numerous monitor displays were bright at the far side of the bed. Sighing, Kat sank down into the chair at Jason's right side.
*He looks so ... strange,* she thought, *not at all like himself.*
It was true; Jason's vitality and strength were missing from the immobile figure on the bed. His color was way off, hidden under a sick pallor, and lingering traces of dust turned his dark hair to an iron-grey color that made him look far older than his twenty-four years. Involuntarily, Kat's mind was drawn back to the image of an aging, dying Billy just before Cestria whisked him off to Aquitar.
*But Billy was cured; while he hasn't come back, and probably never will, he LIVES – he's gone, but alive!*
The thought should have brought a small measure of comfort, but didn't. They no longer had access to the miraculous-seeming advanced technology of the Power Chamber, or their alien allies' miracle cures. Kat stifled a dry sob. She'd cried so often during the past year; why couldn't she do so now, when the situation was so much worse than some of the trivial occasions she'd shed tears over? She had no answer. Only the lump in her throat and the fist clenching around her heart made her aware that she was still alive; everything else was just ... numb. As the ward quieted outside, the steady beeping of the medical machinery was the only sound in the dimly-lit room; Jason's breathing was too shallow to be heard even from a few feet away.
The blonde didn't know how long she sat in the uncomfortable chair, watching her husband for any sign that he was still in there somewhere, that he hadn't already left the motionless shell of his body. She couldn't seem to focus on anything, her thoughts a chaotic whirl of images ... Tommy past and present, interspersed with memories of her marriage with Jason, her baby ...
*Tommy has no place here,* that niggling voice she’d finally identified as her conscience said sternly. *You are here to wait for your husband to regain consciousness; there is no room for another man!*
Kat knew the voice was right, and truthfully, she didn't want to think about her ex-boyfriend now. She hadn't wanted to admit it until now, not even to herself, but her memories of Tommy had dimmed with time – only that interview she'd watched less than two weeks ago had brought them back into focus, and reawakened her former feelings. Or so she thought. For the first time, Katherine asked herself if she hadn't read too much into Tommy's words – what if he hadn't meant her, after all, but just said the first thing that came into his mind when the reporter was trying to pry into his personal life?
*What if that magazine article was right – what if he's taken up with Kimberly again?*
The question hurt, but not as much as Kat thought it would.
*So what if he has?* she answered herself. *I'm married, with a baby; it's not as if I can just throw that away.*
And yet she'd nearly done that, anyway, by requesting a divorce from Jason. Again, Kat was assaulted by an image of her husband's dark eyes, flashing with pain and shock before they shut down on all emotion. Had it only been that morning? She moaned quietly.
*God, what have I done?*
*Let foolish dreams and hopes cloud your judgment,* her conscience replied. *You willfully chose to ignore reality for something that might never happen.*
The voice fell silent, leaving the Australian to ponder the truth of that.
As if to atone for her stupidity, Kat reached for Jason's right hand that rested on the crisp sheets. The nurses had dressed him in a hospital gown earlier after taping his ribs and immobilizing his head with sandbags, but there were still numerous electrodes and cables monitoring his vital functions running from his torso to the softly beeping and clicking devices on the other side of the room. The muted noises were at the same time reassuring and frightening.
Kat held Jason's hand in both of hers, rubbing small circles on the back with her thumbs. There was a sense of ... wrongness ... about this, and it was not due to the fact that usually it was Jason holding her hand like this instead of the other way around. No, it was that the skin was too cool, too dry – the appendage didn't feel like her husband's hand; it ought to be warm, and strong, and reassuring, not lifeless and still. Contemplating the limp fingers with their short, blunt nails and the tanned skin, Kat's mind slowly filled with memories of that very hand...
*... the way Jason used it to habitually brush her cheek oh-so-gently, or tucked a strand of hair behind her ear ...
...the way he held her own hand when he helped her over an obstacle on their walks in the park, or just when they were strolling along the streets with their son ...
...how reassuring his large hand always felt when he rubbed her back or massaged her shoulders when she was tired ...
...how gentle it had been during her pregnancy when he'd touched her swollen belly to feel their baby move inside ...*
The young woman smiled mistily as she recalled the sight of Jason cradling their newborn baby boy against his massive chest, his strong, capable hands as sure with the tiny being as when he did some small chore around the apartment; it was truly amazing how careful and delicate he could be for all the deadly accuracy he displayed when demonstrating karate moves to his students.
Unconsciously, Kat nuzzled her face into the calloused palm.
*I've seen him break stones and boards with his bare hands, and punch monsters into oblivion,* she reflected, *but I've also experienced his gentleness ... and the pleasure he can bring to me with these same hands every time we make love.* The thought brought an equal measure of delight ... and pain. What if she never experienced Jason’s touch again?
Slowly, something crystallized within her mind.
*I ... I don't want to lose this – any of it. I've been leaning on Jason for a long time, even before we became lovers. I’ve held onto his hand right from the start of our marriage – and I don't think I could bear it if I really had to lose it. Lose him. I ... I just can't! He’s always been there for me ... I need Jason too much ... have needed him forever, it seems.*
At long last, the tears came. They slowly filled the blue eyes until they would not be contained any longer, spilling over and trickling down the porcelain cheeks until they became a steady stream and sobs shook the slender body. Anguish threatened to overcome her and Kat cried until she was completely spent. Too tired to fight her true feelings anymore, the young woman trembled with the realization as she finally admitted to herself that she loved the man lying so still on the bed – had loved him for a long time and been too blind to see.
*If nothing else ... if I have to lose him ... please God, let me at least tell him before ...!*
Praying that it wasn't too late, begging the fates that this nightmare would end somehow, Katherine Scott kept vigil at her husband's side throughout the night.
~*~
Nurses from the morning shift ushered Kat gently but firmly out of the room. She was reluctant to leave Jason, hoping against hope that he'd open his eyes and smile at her as tenderly as only he knew how, let her ask for forgiveness, but she had no choice against their insistence. Reeling with fatigue from a sleepless night, she staggered to the waiting area where she leaned dejectedly against the window, staring outside with unseeing eyes.
*Jason ...* her tired thoughts called, but of course, there was no answer. He hadn't stirred all night, lying unmoving in his hospital bed with only the soft rise and fall of his chest and the steady beep of the heart monitor telling that he was still alive. Kat rubbed wearily at her burning eyes. How could she have been so blind – so stupid? Mooning over Tommy when she had a wonderful man as her husband, the father of her baby – someone who had never shown her anything but kindness and understanding? She didn't know, and she didn't care anymore. All she wanted was another chance – for Jason to wake up so that she could tell him she was sorry, hadn't meant the hurtful words she'd thrown in his face yesterday morning and ask for his forgiveness. Maybe, if she was very lucky, he'd forget about it eventually so that she could prove to him how much she had learned to love him ...
"Kat?"
The soft female voice slowly penetrated her exhausted mind. The young woman knew it couldn't be her mother-in-law; Helen was probably busy with the baby until Elena DeSantos came home from school to look after the little boy. Slowly, she turned. The sight of the dark-skinned young woman in yellow brought a lump of a different kind to Kat's throat.
"Tanya!"
With a fresh sob, Kat fell into her best friend's arms. Tanya held her closely, tears streaming over her own face as she held the former Pink Ranger as she let go of her anguish. Finally, both pulled back. Summoning a wobbly smile, Kat wiped ineffectually at her wet cheeks as she tried to find her voice.
"Wh-what are you doing here?" she asked hoarsely; "doesn't Adam mind ...?"
"He brought me here as soon as we’d gotten Rocky’s call," Tanya said quietly, more shaken by Kat's despair than she'd expected to be. Were Jason’s injuries really that bad?
"H-he d-did? Why?" It seemed unbelievable; Tanya's husband had always been so adamant about them not being together too often ...
"You need us," a familiar gentle voice said from somewhere behind Kat. Hardly daring to believe, she turned slowly, to meet a pair of compassionate black eyes. "I couldn't stay away. Not anymore – not now," Adam Park admitted.
"Oh, Adam," Kat sobbed once more, accepting the tentatively offered embrace gratefully. "I'm so glad you're here!"
"Me too," he whispered as he hugged the weeping blonde. "I'm sorry." A look was enough to express everything simple words couldn't – and Kat's brave smile told Adam that he was forgiven, that they were once more friends, like they'd always been. Just like that. He had to swallow hard. Why had he held a grudge for so long? Especially one on behalf of someone else, friend or not? He didn't know anymore; he just knew that his and Tanya's place was here right now, in Angel Grove, with their friends, giving what support they could.
After a while, when the emotional storm had passed a little, the three friends settled in the uncomfortable chairs, and Kat filled the Parks in on Jason's condition. They were properly horrified, and tried to give her encouragement, but all knew how hollow it was right now. Eventually, Katherine felt calmer; she expressed a need to refresh herself some and excused herself to go to the bathroom. Before she'd taken more than a few steps, however, she swayed suddenly and would've collapsed if Tanya hadn't been there to lend support. She guided her friend back to a seat once more.
"Easy, Kat," she chided gently. "What is it?"
"I don't know," Kat mumbled thickly. "Everything just went black for a second ..." She wiped an unsteady hand across her brow, trying to clear her fuzzy brain. Colorful spots danced before her gritty, swollen eyes; her mouth felt dry and she swallowed several times, to no avail. Dizzily, she leaned back against Tanya’s shoulder.
"When was the last time you've eaten something?" Tanya asked, guessing at the reason for Kat’s sudden weakness.
"I ... I don't know," Kat admitted, frowning as she tried to remember. "Yesterday ... yesterday morning, I think ..." the soft voice trailed off wearily.
"That's far too long. Adam will get you something, won't you, sweetie?" the yellow-clad woman declared with a significant look at her husband,
"I don't know if I can, Tanya," her friend sighed. "I ... I don't really feel like eating." Even the mere thought of putting food into her mouth brought a taste of bile. Not to mention actually biting, chewing and swallowing ... no. Kat moaned softly, unaware of her suddenly pasty-colored skin.
"You'll have to, honey. How can you be there for Jason if you collapse yourself? He needs you now."
"I know. I'll try," Kat capitulated with a sigh. Fighting down nausea, she knew Tanya was right. For Jason, she’d make the effort.
Tanya beckoned Adam to her side and whispered to him. "Go get some soup, milk and fruit juice," she directed. "I doubt she'll manage something solid now, but she needs energy, or we'll have both of them in a bed."
"Right. I'll be back as soon as I can."
~*~
Kat did feel better after she’d consumed some cream-of-mushroom soup and orange juice, and thanked her friends with a slightly stronger smile as the three sat and talked. In the course of the morning, Rocky dropped in briefly between classes, and Trini arrived from Berkeley, bringing greetings from Zack who was on call and would arrive later during the day. Kat drifted in and out of Jason's room, alternately spending time with her husband and their friends as they waited for developments. It was just as Rocky came by again after his last class that Jason's doctor left the sickroom and approached the group of young people.
"Mrs. Scott?"
Kat straightened, alarmed. She'd dozed a bit, encouraged by Trini and Tanya, but was fully alert again. There was something in Dr. Jones' voice ....
"Y-yes, Doctor?"
Alec sighed. This was one of those moments when he hated his chosen profession passionately.
"I'm terribly sorry, but ... we've just heard from the Red Cross and the National Blood Bank. There's no exact match for your husband's blood type – or rather, that weird element in his blood – on record anywhere. Without it, we just can't risk a transfusion."
"But Jason's been stable so far, hasn't he?" Kat asked despairingly. This couldn't be happening – it just couldn't! Not now ... "You mentioned earlier today that he might make it on saline solution if he remains stable ..."
"I know, but unfortunately ... I just examined him again, and it looks as if his thigh wound is developing an infection. Seems like we haven’t got all the contaminants out, after all. If we could replace the blood he's lost, there'd be every chance that enough broad-spectrum antibiotics would be able to lick it, but as it is ... your husband has just lost too much blood, and his bone marrow can't reproduce healthy blood cells fast enough to be of any use without outside help. Considering the additional problem of his skull fracture, he's in danger of slipping into a coma. If we can't find a donor within the next twenty-four hours ...." the man's voice trailed off. The desperate look in the sapphire eyes of his patient's wife wouldn't let him continue.
Stunned, the group of friends exchanged alarmed looks. It was Rocky who found his voice first and formulated the question on everyone's mind.
"What exactly are you saying, doctor?"
Alec Jones just shook his head, pity evident in his pale grey eyes. These young people truly cared about their friend; even a blind man could see that. Before he could speak, however, Adam beat him to it. His voice was toneless and full of pain as he faced the others. Unashamedly, his almond-shaped eyes were brimming with tears, but he knew it was nothing compared to the agony Kat must be feeling as they all realized what the doctor's pronouncement meant for Jason – and for their blonde friend.
"He's saying that ... if we can't find a blood donor today, Jason ... Jason will die."
~*~
Zack bounded up the stairs to Intensive Care two at a time, too impatient to wait for the elevator; he was tired from a twelve-hour shift at the hospital and the long drive home hadn't helped. He was lucky he hadn't had an accident himself, exhausted as he was, but no force in the Universe could have kept him away from Angel Grove right now.
*Jason ... dear Lord, let him be allright ....*
The young doctor took a second to catch his breath before he entered the waiting area of the ICU unit. The sight greeting him made his throat constrict. Katherine was sitting in a chair by the window, tears streaming silently down her pale cheeks, and Tanya and Trini were trying to comfort her, with very little effect. Rocky and Adam stood a few feet away, looking helpless -- and furious about it. Zack forced himself to go closer.
"Guys...?"
The two young men turned to look at the original Black Ranger.
"Hi, Zack," Rocky sighed. Adam just nodded a greeting, sending a cautious look towards the three women. Trini smiled briefly at her old friend, but returned her attention immediately back to Kat, who just sat immobile, staring blindly ahead. Tanya was talking to her in a low voice, but it didn't seem to do any good. Zack swallowed the lump forming in his throat and stepped up to his friends.
"How is Jason? Is he ..." the young man couldn't bring himself to say the word. Rocky's phone call had been alarming enough, but surely ....
"Not yet, but he will be – unless a miracle happens," Adam murmured grimly, careful Kat shouldn't hear him. The only reason she was not in Jason's room right now was that the hospital staff were running yet another set of tests on their friend, in the hopes of finding a way to battle the incipient infection and blood loss. In a few sentences, he filled his predecessor in on the first team leader's condition.
"Hmm," Zack murmured, his professional's mind sorting through everything he'd ever learned about blood transfusions. "Do his doctors have any idea what that weird element in Jase's blood is exactly?"
"No; they suspect it was caused by some radiation, or mutation, or something, I guess," Rocky muttered. He was very much tempted to hit something ... or maybe someone, only that wouldn't help Jason, either. Ever since he'd helped dig the erstwhile Gold Ranger out from under a pile of gravel, he had to do everything in his power to not think about all the times during the past year when he'd snubbed Jason, or been rude to him because of a quarrel that wasn't even his own. Now, when it might be too late, he regretted his actions deeply. What if he never got the chance to make amends?
*NO! He'll get through this ... he just HAS to ... it can't end like this! It can't!*
Rocky shook himself. He couldn't remember ever feeling this miserable, except maybe the day he injured his back and had to quit the Rangers, or the day his father had died after a sudden heart attack. Now it was a friend lying behind hospital doors, hooked up to machines, fighting for his life. Unfortunately Rocky was all too aware that sometimes, even the best fighter lost. A quick glance at Kat almost brought tears to his own eyes. The young woman was the picture of misery; not that he could blame her. If she lost Jason ... her husband, the father of her baby ... Rocky had seen the lingering sadness in his own widowed mother's eyes too often, even after over fifteen years, and wouldn't wish it on anybody, much less a good friend. With an effort, he wrenched his thoughts away from his grief over his late father to the present.
"What if we don't find a donor at all? Or not in time?" Rocky didn't want to say this, but knew it was the question on everyone's mind.
The three young men sighed almost in unison. Here they were, former Rangers all – they’d lived through so much, accomplished so many things, helped whole worlds – and now one of their own needed help, and they couldn’t give it. Instead, they were forced to stand by, doing nothing, while they waited to see if Jason’s body could fight alone.
"We just have to ..." Adam's voice trailed off unhappily. He, too, was battling his own regrets about how he'd handled things. How often had Tanya tried to tell him things about her best friend, and he'd refused to listen? He'd hurt his wife just as much by his stubborn refusal as he'd hurt his friends. Sure, he still didn't condone Kat and Jason's actions, but now, faced with the possibility of losing Jason, he was asking himself if it would have been really so wrong to at least listen, and be civil.
*I wouldn't have taken any loyalty away from Tommy if I'd at least made Tanya less uncomfortable about being in contact with Kat. I didn't even personally sign the card she sent to celebrate their baby's birth. That wasn't being loyal, that was just plain being mean. Little Robin is not at fault, after all ...*
Lost in their thoughts, neither noticed Trini coming up to them. Her quiet voice broke them out of their distraction.
"I've been thinking, and I'm pretty sure I know what the problem is," she said, looking meaningfully at Zack.
"You do?" All three glanced at the slender Asian woman in surprise.
"Sshhh," Trini cautioned them to keep their voices down, in deference to Kat. "Yes. That unknown element in Jason's blood ... it has to do with us having been Rangers. Our accelerated healing, the enhanced strength the Power gave us ... the Morphin' Grid changed us. We all have the same thing, to various degrees."
"But I already had myself tested – I'm O-Negative, universal donor blood type – and I'm not compatible with Jason," Adam protested. Puzzled, he remembered something else. "And how come I could donate blood in January to one of the stunt guys at the studio? He never was a Ranger ..."
"It doesn't matter from Ranger to non-Ranger," Zack recalled. "Zordon explained that once. It's the other way around that it gets complicated. But we all used to donate blood to each other when we were injured; Trini's O-Negative, too, and I was compatible with Kim."
"We never did," Rocky said, mentally going back to those first scary, exhilarating days after he'd assumed the Red Ranger Powers from Jason, and the myriad things they'd had to learn in a hurry. "Billy tested us after the transfer, found out that we all had different bloodtypes, and since we couldn't play vampire on Adam every time we needed a supply ..."
"...he basically started our own blood bank," Adam continued, remembering as well. "We all donated blood for ourselves in quiet times. It usually was enough; I only was emergency backup a couple of times for Aisha, and as we gained more experience, our injuries got less serious."
"Makes sense," Zack agreed. "And how typically Billy!"
The four shared a brief smile as they thought of their oh-so-methodical absent genius friend, but sobered again almost immediately.
"That doesn't help us right now, though," Zack got back to their problem. "If even Adam as a universal donor and with the Ranger factor is not compatible with Jason ... who is?"
"Tommy."
"What?" Adam, Rocky and Zack stared incredulously at the former Yellow Ranger.
"Don't you remember?" she addressed her old friend. "That time after Tommy came back to the team and we fought Robogoat ... his Powers failed him, and he was hurt really bad. Jase donated to him."
"How could he?" Adam wondered. "I mean, I clearly remember that Billy once said none of us would be able to help Tommy with blood. I'd always assumed it was because he was the White Ranger ... "
"That was before. There is some link to a Ranger's color," Zack said, a hint of excitement creeping into his voice as hope cautiously reared its head, "with Green and Black being related; you could probably donate to me." He nodded at Adam. "But – and Trini's right, I remember now, too – Tommy and Jase's case is special."
He smiled encouragingly at Tanya and Kat, who had drifted over to listen to their conversation. Tanya still had an arm around her friend's waist, supporting her, and Kat smiled wanly – an expression that did nothing to hide the quiet despair in the blue eyes.
"They always were, to each other," she whispered, her accented voice rough with tears. "In what way, though?"
"It's not because Tommy was White," Trini took up the tale, "but because he was Green Ranger. Or more precisely, because of the Green Dragon coin."
"What does the coin have to do with it?" Rocky frowned.
"Both Tommy and Jase held it," Zack explained. "You see, it's like this – when Tommy lost his Powers for the first time because of Rita's Green Candle, he gave his Power Coin to Jason so the Powers wouldn't be lost. Then, when Rita kidnapped our parents and we gave up our coins to Goldar, Jase returned the Dragon Coin to Tommy and he became Green Ranger again. There was no formal Power transfer, no intermediary, nothing. Just Tommy putting his coin into Jase's hand, and later Jason putting it back into Tommy's. They held the same coin. And, although he didn't do it often, Jase used the Dragon Powers in addition to his own. It wasn't like when I gave my Powers to you, Adam, or Kim hers to Kat. It attuned them to each other to an incredible degree – even more than they were before." The first Black Ranger shared a smile first with Trini, recalling those emotion-laden moments, then directed it at his successor and the second Pink Ranger.
"Furthermore, they're both AB-Negative," Trini added, cautious optimism coloring her soft voice for the first time since she'd gotten Rocky's phonecall. "That means Tommy ought to be able to donate blood to Jason, and save him."
"If we can get hold of him in time," Tanya cautioned. She could feel the sudden tension in Kat. "What if he's back East, racing?"
"He isn't," Rocky interjected. "I talked to him on the phone last week, and he's scheduled for test drives at his uncle's facility in Stone Canyon until the end of the month. He should be home."
Adam cast a wary glance at Katherine. He hated to hurt her more than she already was, but there was this slight problem everyone was overlooking .... he cleared his throat. Avoiding Kat's eyes, his next words doused the optimism that had sprung up in their group more effectively than a bucket full of ice water.
"Okay, but ... will he even want to help Jason?"
"Of course he will!" Rocky protested hotly. "How can you even think he won't? Tommy's a good guy – Jase has always been his best friend, and Kat ... " Suddenly realizing what Adam was alluding to, Rocky fell into an embarrassed silence. "Oh."
"Yeah – oh," Tanya sighed. She once more hugged Kat, who had paled even more – although that hardly seemed possible – and shuddered noticeably at that reminder of the injustice she and her husband had done Tommy. Neither of the former Rangers said a word; they could hardly look at each other, but least of all at the devastated blonde.
"One of us just has to go and ask him," Trini finally voiced what they all thought. "Rocky's right; Tommy is not a bad guy, and surely he'll come through ..."
"Especially since it's a matter of life and death," Zack said soberly. "If it were for anything less, I don't know, but for something like this ... " he let the implication hang.
Rocky inhaled deeply and squared his shoulders. They were fast running out of time, and who knew how long they'd need to convince Tommy. "Who's gonna go and talk to him, then?"
"I will."
~*~
The soft voice was hoarse but steady, and left a stunned silence in its wake. Slowly, four pairs of eyes in varying shades of brown zeroed in on their Australian friend, who met each unflinchingly, although she was biting her lips nearly bloody with the need not to break down. Not now, when there was something she could do at last.
"Are you quite sure, Kat?" Tanya asked after a moment. "I don't want to alarm you, but what if he won't even see you?" She knew from Adam's reports that Tommy might have gotten over Kat's betrayal and renewed his relationship with Kimberly – something she hadn't had the heart to tell her best friend about yet – but he also was very bitter still.
"It's a risk I have to take," the blonde whispered. "I hope to God Tommy will at least listen, but I know that I'll never forgive myself if I don't try."
"I understand," Tanya murmured back, hugging her best friend. "Do you want me to come with you?"
"Or I could go," Adam offered. Truth be told, it was the last thing he wanted to do, but felt he owed it to ... whom? He didn't know. It didn't matter. To his barely-hidden relief, Kat shook her head 'no' as she gave him a small, grateful smile that didn't mask the bleakness in the crystalline eyes.
"Thanks, Adam, Tanya, but no. This is something I have to do myself. I'm Jason's wife; I made a promise to him when I married him, and if this is what it takes to keep that promise, so be it." Kat disengaged herself from Tanya's support. Her marriage vow rang clearly in her mind – *in sickness and health ...* – she tried hard to forget about the *'til death do you part* section. Feeling suddenly very cold and alone, Kat steeled herself. "Besides, I ... I don't want to make Tommy feel pressured in any way."
Right then, a nurse waved to her that she was free to go back inside the sickroom. With another small, wan smile, the blonde left her friends, still poleaxed at her announcement.
"Like Tommy isn't going to feel pressured by either helping Jason or letting him die," Rocky muttered as the five sat down in the uncomfortable chairs.
"True," Tanya said, "but Kat is right. He needs to make that decision without getting the sense that we're ganging up on him."
"Exactly. And, who knows ...."
"Who knows what?" Rocky looked questioningly at Trini when she wouldn't continue. The almond-shaped eyes were downcast, but shimmered gently when she looked up again.
"Maybe ... just maybe, that's the catalyst that will Tommy help to finally forgive them."
The five friends fell silent at that, suddenly having something else to hope and pray for.
~*~
Katherine told the cab driver to stop at the corner of Tommy's street, paid the fare and got out. Shading her eyes against the bright October sun, so different from the darkness shrouding her heart, she slowly walked toward the neat house she knew so well. She'd stayed at Jason's side until her mother-in-law came to spell her for a bit, then made her way home after briefly looking in on her baby at the DeSantos'. She needed the reassurance of holding the sturdy little body close, to look into the bright, sparkling dark eyes so like Jason's, and had made a silent promise while she kissed her son's wispy dark hair.
*If there is anything I can do to save your daddy, I will,* she vowed in her mind. *I love him too much to let go without a fight ... I love you too much to have you grow up without ever knowing the wonderful man he is. I promise you, Robin ... even if I need to go down on my knees and beg, I will do what I have to to bring your daddy back.*
Next, she'd taken a quick shower and changed her clothes; Kat hadn't wanted to delay things further, but had reluctantly accepted Sophia DeSantos' advice. The older woman had been right; it did make her feel marginally better to be clean, and it had given her a little more time to compose herself and marshal her thoughts. The warm, compassionate hug she'd been given by Rocky's mother had helped, too ... only now, as she was approaching the Oliver home, the brief feeling of sympathy and comfort it had left her with vanished again. As Kat reached the driveway, she noted that not only was Tommy's sports car parked out there, next to his parents' sedan, but also a small hatchback and a somewhat battered truck.
*David's,* Kat realized with a sinking feeling. *Why would he ... oh.* Today was Tommy's birthday; the date had completely slipped her mind. No wonder his brother had come to visit.
*Sam's probably there, too.* The young woman moaned to herself. Facing Tommy again after all this time, with a request like the one she had to make, was going to be difficult enough; that she had to do it in front of an audience ... an image of Jason's pale, still face lying immobilized on the hospital bed appeared before her mind's eye. It firmed her resolve once more to see this through, and she forced herself to walk up to the front door. Kat's hand shook as she reached for the doorbell.
*For Jason. Whatever it takes.*
The cheery chimes were still echoing softly when the wooden door opened and Kat found herself face-to-face with Rachel Oliver, whose laughing hazel eyes hardened as she recognized her unexpected visitor.
~*~
For an interminable moment, the two women just stared at each other. Then, Kat squeezed the words she needed to say out of her suddenly dry throat.
"Please, may I come in? I ... need to speak to Tommy."
"What could you possibly have to say to him?" Rachel asked coldly. While she was very pleased that her son had found happiness with Kimberly again, she still hadn't forgotten how truly miserable Kat and Jason had made him last year.
Kat inhaled shakily. She somehow hadn't expected she'd have to go through Rachel first.
"I ... I need to ask him a question. Just one, and it won't take more than a couple of minutes. I give you my word I won't hurt him, but ... this is really important. I wouldn't have come, otherwise. Please." She looked imploringly at Tommy's mother.
Something in her eyes, or voice, must have convinced Rachel Oliver that Kat meant what she'd said, because after a long, searching glance, she stepped wordlessly aside and gestured the younger woman towards the back of the house.
"He's in there."
"Thank you," Kat rasped, swallowing hard, and for the first time since Tommy had broken up with her over a year ago, set foot into the shaded foyer of the Oliver home.
The walk to the living room seemed interminable, and Kat was painfully aware of the last time she'd crossed the expanse of polished hardwood in the opposite direction, Tommy's harsh "Get out, and don't come back. I never want to see you again" echoing loudly in her mind. He'd meant every word, she knew, and it was incredibly hard to overcome the pain and shame of that long-ago day. But that didn't matter; not when it was Jason's life at stake. After what seemed like ages, Kat reached the door and, drawing a deep breath, pushed it open.
The lively conversation in the cheery, comfortable room came to an abrupt halt as Kat stepped inside, Rachel on her heels. Tommy's mother stayed next to the door as the dancer faced the assembled persons – Tommy, Kimberly, David, Sam and Mr. Oliver. A couple of gaily-wrapped packages sat on the floor next to Tommy's chair, who'd just unwrapped a white sweater. He absently laid the gift over the back of his chair as he rose slowly from his seat near the window. Kat didn't notice any of this. Five pairs of eyes came to rest on her with various expressions of disbelief, but she saw only one – the chocolate orbs of her former boyfriend, which widened in surprise, then became cold and unreadable.
"What do you want?"
Kat barely refrained from flinching at the hostile tone.
*Pull yourself together. What did you expect? Surely not instant forgiveness. He's entitled.*
"I ..." she had to clear her throat. If only Tommy wouldn't glare at her so!
"I need to ask you a favor."
"What?!?" Tommy looked at Kat incredulously. "You have some nerve! Why would I do you a favor?"
He purposely ignored his mother's reproving look at his rudeness. Some part of him, the one that had started to heal the wound the young woman standing before him had struck last spring, admonished that he was being unfair, but right now the former Red Zeo Ranger didn't care. Seeing Kat again, in the very room where her confession had hurt him so, made any gentler reaction vanish like snow in summer. Instead, all the old pain and outrage surged forth once more.
"You seem to have forgotten what I've told you the last time you were here," Tommy said coldly. He deliberately shut out Sam Trueheart's disapproving look, or Kimberly's soft, chiding "Tommy!"
Kat blanched. Fighting down her tears, she shut out everything around her and made herself speak.
*For Jason!*
"I haven't forgotten anything, Tommy," she said, so quietly it was hardly more than a whisper. "But as I told your mom, I wouldn't have come at all if it weren't important. Please," she requested hoarsely, "for the friendship we once shared, will you at least hear me out? I give you my word I'll leave directly afterwards."
The long-haired young man regarded her silently for a long time, taking in her still willowy figure which somehow seemed fuller, more feminine than before, her simple jeans and blouse, and long silvery-blonde hair, caught at the back of her neck in a ponytail with a Garfield clasp. He deliberately overlooked the signs of despair in the blue eyes, the pale cheeks and the minute tic making her mouth tremble. It was of no concern to him if Kat was unhappy, wasn't it?
*Serves her right. She made me unhappy, too!* Tommy felt slightly ashamed at the pettiness of the thought, but squelched the feeling. He watched as his former girlfriend bit her already-swollen lower lip. A tiny droplet of blood appeared, but was automatically licked away. The young man repressed his instinctive urge to offer comfort to a friend. *Kat's no longer my friend! She threw that away last year!* However, that sounded a bit false ... Tommy shook the thought off, continuing to watch Kat. He knew her well enough to recognize her nervousness and fear, but he refused to let it sway him.
*What will it hurt to at least listen?* a voice in his mind asked. *You have Kimberly back now; what will it serve to be this ungracious? Do you really still want to punish her? You know better than that.*
The voice was right, but something darker, something that had clung to the hurt and feeling of betrayal for all the long months, wasn't ready to give up yet. Somewhere deep down, Tommy didn't much like what he was feeling, but for all his brooding, loner ways, he wasn't really the introspective type. He was likely to go with his emotions if and when he could afford to; the trouble was, his emotions were pulling him into two different directions right now. Could he listen to Kat, or would it be better – no, easier – to send her away? A soft, shuddering intake of breath, a barely audible swallow as Kat waited for him to make up his mind, tipped the scales. His ex-lover was the supplicant; he could afford to hear her out. At last, he nodded grudgingly. "Okay."
Kat swallowed again. This was it – her one chance, the only chance, really, to save Jason's life. She cleared her throat and tried to speak as briefly and succinctly as she could, without giving too much away ... and without collapsing into a sobbing heap of misery. As a result, her voice was dull and monotonous as she made her plea.
"I need your help. Or rather, Jason does. I don't know if you've heard, but ... but he had an accident yesterday. He was badly hurt, and has lost too much blood." Tears threatened again, but Kat blinked them away. She wouldn't break down, not now! "He's been unconscious since; I ... I know that you have the same blood type as Jason, and I've come to ask you to donate for him."
Something within Tommy figuratively sat up as he heard the news of Jason's injury. He and his family had only returned to Angel Grove today from a trip to meet with the Rushs, and hadn't had a chance to look at the paper yet. But the petty, selfish part of him, the one that refused to let go of the hurt, silenced his instinctive concern almost immediately. Instead, it made him ask in a deliberately disinterested voice, "Why me? Surely there are other ways ..."
"If there were, if we hadn't exhausted all other possibilities, do you think I would have come?" Kat asked tonelessly. A tide of hopelessness threatened to drag her under, but determinedly she made herself go on.
"Trini said the two of you ... had been tested once, and found to be truly compatible," she continued, trying not to make her emphasis too obvious. It had taken her considerable thought to formulate her request and explanation like this, just in case she didn't have a chance to speak to Tommy alone. For all of them, the promise not to reveal their identities as Rangers still held, even though Zordon was long gone. She only hoped Tommy would make the right connection. She could see in his eyes and his unconscious move towards a no-longer-present communicator that he did. It gave her a fresh glimmer of hope.
"Please, Tommy ... I'm not asking for myself. I'm asking you to help someone who used to be your best friend."
"Our friendship didn't mean too much to either one of you when you betrayed me last year," he said bitterly, unable to let it be. He didn't dare look at Kimberly, whose soft brown eyes were trained on him imploringly. He knew Jason was one of her oldest friends, and that her warm heart was aching already, for him and for Kat. Since they'd become lovers, she'd made a few tentative comments about getting back with all of their friends, but so far, Tommy hadn't wanted to consider it.
Kat closed her eyes briefly. She had hoped Tommy would be able to look past that for the sake of the friendship he'd once shared with her husband, but apparently that was not to be. Still, she made one last effort. If that required baring her soul, so be it. Looking squarely at her erstwhile lover, she pulled out the last weapon in her arsenal – the naked truth.
"Tommy ... I know Jason and I have hurt you, and I am more sorry about that than I can ever say. We never wanted to cause you pain, and still we did. I'm not asking you to forget, or to forgive ...you have every right to refuse me. But please ... it's not for me, it's for Jason. He ... he's slipping into a coma. If you don't help him, today, he ... he will die."
At the edge of her consciousness, Kat registered Kim's small exclamation of shock and distress as she said that, but it didn't break her concentration. She had to make Tommy relent, she just had to!
"Please, Tommy ... I'm begging you. You're the last hope Jason has. For whatever once was between you, for whatever you and he shared ... please help him!"
Kat's chin quivered with the need not to cry, but with a supreme effort of will she managed. Her cold-as-ice hands were clenched at her waist, unconsciously wringing each other, but all of her attention was focussed on the hawk-like features of the man she once had loved so much. It caused her almost physical pain to see them so implacable, knowing as she did how warm-hearted Tommy could be, but she found nothing of that warmth in the brown eyes now. Rather, they seemed to be growing more distant by the second. Whatever hope she'd had died an agonizing death in her heart. A single tear slipped out of the corner of her eye as Tommy just stood, staring at her motionless and silent, his back to the window, as he'd stood a year ago when he'd cut her out of his life.
*No ... I cut myself off from him. As he's now cutting Jason away from me.*
Pain threatened to overwhelm her as Kat realized that her effort had been in vain. The slender shoulders sagged in resignation as she admitted defeat. The young woman was about to turn away, when she looked back one last time at the man she'd fallen in love with so long ago, pined for all through her marriage to another, and had intended to go back to only yesterday morning. A moan almost escaped her at the thought of how she must have hurt Jason with her request for a divorce, not realizing until it was too late that he'd long since taken Tommy's place in her heart. Now Jason would most likely die without ever hearing her say that she was sorry, that she didn't mean her words ... that she loved him. Well, she'd tried.
And failed.
That sense of failure made her stop and say one last thing before she left, this time for good. She knew she wouldn't be coming back here – ever. Her blue eyes, so bleak and swimming with moisture, met Tommy's shuttered brown ones; to the shocked and silent watchers they seemed like twin windows into Purgatory. The accented voice was rough with pain, and so soft Tommy had to strain his ears to hear.
"Tommy ... you have every right to hate us; I don't blame you for it. I even can accept that you won't forgive us. We brought it on ourselves, after all. I know we hurt you; I know it was our fault. But I didn't know you could be cruel."
With enormous dignity – and the last bit of self-control she could summon – Kat faced Rachel Oliver, who was still standing beside the door. Into the silence that had settled over the room at her words, she tried, and failed, to call forth a polite smile.
"Thank you for letting me have my say. Good bye."
The door closed behind Kat with a muted 'click'.
~*~
Outside in the dim hallway, her composure finally left Kat. She barely made it to the front door when, blinded by her tears, she just couldn't go on. Shoulders shaking with silent sobs, she leaned against the wooden frame, hid her face in her arms and let the pain engulf her.
~*~
Five of the six people in the living room stared at Tommy, who had grown noticeably pale under his tan as he stared at the door Kat had just closed behind her. His mother looked at him with sad, reproachful eyes.
"This is not like you, Tommy," Rachel said slowly. "You know I'm on your side all the way, but Kat is right about one thing – I didn't know you could be cruel."
With that, the older woman let herself out of the living room, moving on silent feet to the oblivious Katherine who was still crying noiselessly at the doorframe. She put a comforting arm around the shaking shoulders, waiting for the storm to pass. When it finally did, she waited until Kat dried her cheeks, then met the tear-drenched blue orbs.
"You love Jason, don't you?" Rachel asked quietly. It had been obvious to her from the way the blonde had begged her mule-headed son to save his friend. Her heart went out to Kat as she watched the wobbly smile playing briefly around her quivering lips.
"Yes." It filled Kat with a desperate form of pride to finally admit it out loud to someone.
"I didn't know before, but I do."
The quiet admission, spoken so simply, told Mrs. Oliver a large part of the story, and she hugged Katherine in sympathy.
"Then your place is with him now," was all she said, though. "I'll talk to Tommy; maybe he'll come around tomorrow."
"Tomorrow will most likely be too late," Kat whispered, but found a tiny, brave smile for the other's effort. "Thank you."
With that, she turned, opened the front door and walked slowly away from the Oliver house, a slender figure trembling with grief and weighed down by a fatigue that was more of the soul than of the body. Rachel watched her go with a heavy heart, her long-held anger at her son's ex-girlfriend dissipating slowly. Kat may have broken Tommy's heart a year ago, but he was healing. The pain she was feeling now would leave scars for a lifetime. Shaking her head, she went back inside. Maybe there was a way she could talk some sense, or at least compassion, into her son, after all.
~*~
Meanwhile, Tommy was facing down his girlfriend and the rest of his family. He knew he'd handled the situation badly, but Kat had caught him utterly by surprise; seeing her again had reopened wounds he'd thought had healed, and her message had shaken him more than he was ready to admit.
*Jason .... dying? Impossible! He can't die – he just can't! He's too strong, too stubborn ... Kat must have been wrong! Most likely trying to play on my sympathy,* he tried to convince himself, but it sounded hollow even to his own ears. Kat may have her faults, and she'd hurt him badly, but Tommy was honest enough to admit that she would never act so low. She wouldn't lie about something like this.
Mr. Oliver was riffling through the current issue of the Angel Grove Clarion that had been delivered only this morning. No-one had had the time to take a look at the paper yet ... ah, here it was! Tommy's father skimmed the article hastily.
"She was right, son – Jason was in a construction accident yesterday morning. According to this," he tapped the newspaper, "the roof of a building he was in collapsed on top of him." Briefly, he summarized the report, looking as shocked as the other occupants of the room.
"Tommy, you have to help Jason," David finally said. He'd met Jason shortly after his return, and while he'd liked him well enough, he'd always slightly envied the rapport the broad-shouldered then-Gold Ranger had with his newfound brother. It was something he was still trying to establish between himself and Tommy – that feeling of kinship that was evident between the two friends even to a casual observer. They were truly two of a kind.
"Never mind that he used to be your best friend; forget for a moment that he did badly by you. He's a Human being in need, and if Katherine is right and you're the only one able to save his life ... if you don't, and he should really die, you'll never be able to live with yourself if you could have done something to prevent it and didn't."
Tommy flinched slightly and turned away. He knew David was right, but something within him made him stay stubbornly silent. However, he met Kimberly's tear-streaked face. Her reaction to Kat's narrative hadn't gone unnoticed by the racer, but he'd made himself ignore it. Now, he couldn't.
"Please, Tommy," his old and new love choked out. Kim hopped up from the couch she'd been sitting on and put a small hand on his arm. Her doe eyes looked into his own, begging.
"David's right. And if you don't want to help Jason for your friendship, or for yourself, please help him for me? He's one of my oldest friends ...." her voice trailed off as she read the pain, confusion and stubbornness in Tommy's expression. Sighing, she removed her hand as a decision crystallized in her mind. When Kat and Jason had gotten married, she'd sided unhesitatingly with Tommy, and she, of all people, knew perhaps better than most just how much he'd been hurt by their actions. After all, Tommy had unburdened to her often enough as they'd started to rebuild their relationship. Kimberly perfectly understood his feelings, but right now, somebody else's were more important. She only hoped that in time, Tommy would come to understand hers.
"Tommy ... I love you, you know I do, but right now .... my place is at the hospital, with the others." Kim didn't need to check with anyone; she knew instinctively that their friends would be there. And she wanted to be with them. "I just can't stay here when one of my friends is maybe dying and another is losing her husband ... and the father of her baby." She watched Tommy blush guiltily, and smiled sadly as she turned to leave.
"Kat and Jason made a mistake; please don't make a bigger one yourself."
Rachel put an understanding arm around the petite gymnast's waist as she guided her outside. The older woman inwardly agreed with every word her son's brother and girlfriend had said, but waited to put in her own two cents. Sometimes, a mother had to bide her time ... or let others do the talking more effectively.
"A mistake," Tommy muttered rebelliously, beginning to feel thoroughly ashamed of himself. Which didn't exactly improve his mood. He knew very well that simple Human compassion and common decency alone should have him on the way to Angel Grove Memorial already, but some part of him still didn't want to give in, didn't want to forgive, still clung to the hurt and betrayal. Besides, after the way he'd acted, how could he just up and go after Kat, without making a complete fool of himself? Tommy tried to save what little face he had left by hiding behind bluster, ignoring that he had to work at keeping the outrage in his voice. "If that would only be all that it was! They're happily married, with a baby, and I'm supposed to accept it just like that?!?"
"Nobody said you have to. But Kimberly is right, son," Mr. Oliver said quietly. "You're not vindictive, or you wouldn't be the man I brought you up to be. Don't compound their mistake by making another one – one that can't be undone. Theirs can be forgiven eventually if maybe not forgotten; yours might be fatal – literally." He hadn't gone into the lurid details of Jason's injuries the Clarion's article had enumerated, but he knew how truly serious the situation was.
"Dad ...!" Tommy groaned/growled. He loved and respected his father, his opinion meant the world to him, but could nobody see how he was feeling? The young man looked half defiantly/half helplessly at the last member of the small gathering, who'd remained silent so far. The wise old eyes of Sam Trueheart, still sharp and maybe seeing deeper than most, met his own probingly, but without accusation.
"Yes, a mistake," he finally said in his calm, measured way – the way that had once led Tommy-as-a-child to follow the Falcon and thus to the Zeo Crystal and ultimately brought about the reunion with his brother. "Katherine and Jason made a mistake that hurt you – and all of your friends, splitting up a close group of people by inadvertantly making them choose sides. But how do you know it didn't hurt them as well? Is their marriage truly as happy as you think it is? I have met them both, and seen the kind of persons they are; they are not likely to build happiness on the grief of another." Sam let his words sink in for a moment before he continued. "You don't judge people by a mistake they've made; you judge them by how they live with that mistake. It seems to me they have lived with honor."
Rachel had returned after watching Kimberly drive off, but had kept her peace so far. Now, she added one last thing Tommy needed to consider to make his decision.
"They have a baby, Tommy." Her adopted son's head jerked up sharply at the reminder. "A baby, not yet a year old, who will never know its father if Jason dies. This baby is the truly innocent victim if you choose to do nothing. You yourself have never known your biological parents. I know that, no matter how much your dad and I love you, that's something that's hurting you deep down, and always will. Be honest – would you really wish that kind of pain on your friends' child?"
The silence in the sunny room was long, and heavy, but it was finally broken by Tommy's defeated sigh.
"No," he admitted. "I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy." He drew a deep breath and squared his shoulders, knowing – as he'd done from the start, really – what he would have to do. However, he wasn't quite ready yet to rush to the rescue. He needed to sort out his mind first, needed to get his head back together after seeing Kat so unexpectedly – a Kat who was no longer the girl he'd been in love with, but a woman begging for her husband's life. The chocolate-brown eyes were sober as he looked at each member of his family in turn, receiving silent encouragement.
"I ... I need to think. Alone."
With that, Tommy left his parents' house, swung himself into his car and drove away.
~*~
Kat hadn't bothered to take a taxi back to Angel Grove Memorial; it wasn't too far to walk from the Olivers' house, and she desperately needed the time to collect herself. Not caring that passers-by were staring as she trudged down the sunlit streets, she did nothing to check her tears as they flowed down her pale cheeks. Better to cry herself out now than to collapse helplessly when Jason needed her most.
She didn't pay much attention to her surroundings as she walked, but was abruptly jerked out of her thoughts as a small hatchback car stopped right next to her and a familiar voice insistently called her name.
"Kat? Kat, wait ..."
The blonde blinked her eyes free of tears as she halted. It took her a few seconds to come back to reality and recognize the woman in the driver's seat.
"K-kimberly?" Kim had been at the Olivers'; her presence had registered, but the distraught woman hadn't really attached any special significance to it. It hadn't surprised her, because Kim had always taken Tommy's side. Kat and Jason had never blamed the gymnast for that; they'd known about their friend's lingering feelings for him, and had accepted her decision and avoidance of them without question. Somehow, being condemned by Kim for their mistake had never hurt as much as the same reaction from Adam and Rocky. But what was she doing here, picking her up? Why hadn't she stayed at the Olivers' house? What ....
"Get in, Kat. Please?" Kim leaned over and opened the passenger-side door. "I'll drive you back to Jason."
With a weary sigh, Kat gave in. It really didn't matter if she got back a few minutes earlier or not, but she was so tired ... and Jason needed her still ... as soon as she sat down and buckled in, Kim drew away from the curb. The two women didn't talk for a few moments, but finally Kimberly broke the heavy silence which was interrupted only by Kat's sniffles as she scrubbed ineffectually at her wet cheeks.
"Tommy's not a bad guy, you know that. He'll come around, I'm sure of it. You just surprised the heck out of him, showing up like you did. Give him a little time, and he'll be there."
The blonde laughed, a short and bitter sound.
"Time is the one thing Jason doesn't have. Just before I left, Dr. Jones updated us. Jason's wound is definitely infected, he's starting to run a fever, and he's narrowed down the remaining time to until morning. If he doesn't get a full blood transfusion by then ..." she gulped down a fresh onslaught of tears. Her blue eyes burned and were red-rimmed as she looked sideways at her predecessor, unsure of what her reaction would be. She just couldn't figure out why Kim had followed her instead of staying with Tommy. Wasn't she glad that they finally had to pay for what they'd done to him? *No matter that this is too high a price ...* Kat turned off that train of thought. Neither Kimberly nor Tommy were that vindictive. But oh, how she hoped the first Pink Ranger was right about Tommy coming around! *I won't believe he'd let Jason die ...*
Kim noticed Kat's confusion and wanted to answer, but needed to watch downtown rush hour traffic before they both ended up at the hospital ... as casualties in the ER. Making a quick decision, the petite brunette coasted into a close-by parking lot and killed the engine. Putting a hand on Kat's shaking shoulder, she tried to give as much reassurance as she could.
"Kat, have a little faith ... you know Tommy! He's always been there for his friends, no matter what. In the end, he always comes through. You should know; you loved him once ..."
"Yes," Kat sighed. "So much that in all the time I was married to Jason, I never once saw how much he's come to mean to me until now ... when it might be too late ..."
"What? But ... Kat, I thought you left Tommy because you'd fallen in love with Jase!"
"Is that what Tommy chose to believe?" Kat sighed again. "I guess I can't blame him ... it must have looked that way, I'm sure ... but I really didn't. We were just friends, nothing more. Not until much later ... I loved Tommy, yes, but he was never around anymore. I was alone so often ... and Jason was there, he made me feel good, less lonely ... Tommy even sent him to me sometimes ... that one night, we had fun together, but it was all harmless. Our first kiss just happened ... and it felt so good, somehow I couldn't stop ... didn't want to stop ..." She rambled on, telling Kim how it had been, how she and Jason had suffered from guilt and shame at having hurt Tommy so much these past months and what strain it had put on their marriage.
Kimberly listened in silence, knowing from her own experience how cathartic it could be to unburden oneself to the person one had wronged. True, she wasn't Tommy, but she guessed correctly that in Kat's mind, she probably was the next best thing, and wouldn't – couldn't – deny her friend the comfort to be found in that. She held a cold, trembling hand between her own warmer ones, rubbing it consolingly as Kat talked, and sorted through things in her mind, correcting assumptions she'd made, realigning facts Kat told her with what she'd heard from Tommy so she could deal adequately with the situation.
At last, Kat wound down. Pouring out her heart like that left her feeling even more exhausted, and curiously empty. All that was left was her fear for her husband – that she might lose Jason and not even have the chance to tell him she loved him.
"...and to think I believed Tommy had forgiven me after I'd seen his interview on the Edie Jenkins show," Kat murmured forlornly as she finished.
"What are you talking about?" the first Pink Ranger asked, alarmed. That had been about two weeks ago ... she and Tommy had been together again since the end of July! Could it be Kat didn't know? But Tommy had told Rocky and Adam .... belatedly, Kimberly realized that both young men had refused to stay friends with the Scotts on Tommy's behalf. If Kat hadn't talked to Tanya recently, there was every chance she was unaware of her and Tommy's reignited love affair. She groaned inwardly. If there was one thing she didn't want to have to tell Kat, it was that Tommy had come back to her, Kimberly. Not now, at least. However, it seemed as if she would have to ... Kim was recalled to her surroundings by Kat's slightly shamefaced look.
"I ... it might have been my imagination, but when that woman asked about Tommy's dream girl, he looked into the camera as if directly at me, and ..."
"...he said it was a blue-eyed blonde," Kimberly moaned, remembering now. "Oh God, Kat ...." she reached out to draw her friend into a hug, but Kat resisted. Puzzled by the other's blush and chagrined expression, she raised a questioning eyebrow, momentarily distracted from her misery.
"What?"
Kim inhaled deeply. She had to tell Katherine now. Not to do so would be unnecessarily mean. Wishing she were anywhere else, she tried to make her voice as sympathetic as possible as she faced her friend.
"Kat ... Kat, I really hate to be saying this to you, especially now, but ... Tommy and I have been back together – truly together, as in a couple – since July," she said softly. "We just didn't want Edie Jenkins to dig into our relationship, so I asked Tommy to avoid those questions if he could. When that wasn't possible, I guess he just said the first thing that popped into his mind. We never even thought you might be watching – or that you'd think he was talking about you ...." Kim trailed off, waiting anxiously for Kat's reaction. Having seen the taped interview, it was easy for the petite woman to understand where her friend's misconception had originated. The blonde was so distraught already with worry over Jason, there was no way of gauging how this bit of news would affect her.
Katherine just stared at Kim. This turn of events was something that had fleetingly crossed her mind during her vigil last night when she'd finally faced and accepted her feelings for Jason, but then, the thought had still stung. To hear it confirmed now was ... curiously anticlimatic. After going through the emotional wringer of her confrontation with Tommy, Kat realized that deep down, she wasn't surprised at all.
*I have moved on; why shouldn't Tommy? It was over between us the moment I first kissed Jason, I know that now. Everything else was wishful thinking on my part. And I knew when I first met him that he and Kim had always had something special between them ... maybe that was what I wanted so much for myself. Why I actively pursued him, even though that's not really me. I wanted not only Tommy himself, but also the way he and Kim felt about each other, that was so obvious to all who saw them together. Jason's given me the same thing, only I didn't see ...*
The realization was strangely liberating, even more so than admitting to herself that somewhere along the line her feelings for Tommy had changed and been replaced by love for her husband. It enabled Kat to find a tiny, fleeting, but genuine smile for a worriedly waiting Kimberly.
"You know," the Australian said slowly as she leaned back in her seat, "yesterday morning that would've really hurt. I was so convinced Tommy was talking about me ... I even was ready to leave Jason." Kim's shocked gasp drew the blue eyes to her face. "Now, I'm just ... relieved, I guess, that Tommy's happy again." A faraway look came into the crystal eyes as Kat remembered her state of mind of the morning before. Her voice was absentminded as she talked. "I'd seen the pictures of you in the National Inquisitor, of you and Tommy at that anti-drug gala ... I was so jealous of you, almost like during the time when I was under Rita's spell. But now ..." The two had talked about that once, after Muranthias, when Kim had reassured a naturally wary Katherine that she hadn't come back to steal Tommy from her. Kat grimaced slightly; it hadn't been a pleasant discussion, but necessary. As this was now; it was hard to admit her folly, but she continued regardless. It felt so good to unburden herself to a friend ... and instinctively she knew that Kim would understand, wouldn't judge.
"Now, all I want is for Jason to regain consciousness, to live ... so that I can apologize for asking him for a divorce, for hurting him like that ... just to ask his forgiveness. I'm going to make up for every hurtful word I ever said to him, for every insensitive thing I ever did ... if he'll let me. If I still can." She drew a shuddering breath as the dire situation crashed back into her conscious mind. "God, Kim, he just has to live; I couldn't bear it if Jason ... if he died!"
Without a word, Kim reached out again and this time succeeded in hugging the blonde. The taller young woman gratefully accepted the comforting embrace, and while a few more tears slipped out and soaked into Kim's pink sweater, she whispered brokenly what she'd only admitted out loud once before to Rachel Oliver so short a time ago.
"I love Jason, Kimberly; I didn't know until now, when I may lose him. I never told him, and if Tommy doesn't help him, h-he'll d-die thinking that I w-want t-to leave him!"
"Tommy'll come around, Kat," the gymnast murmured as she held her weeping friend tightly, stroking the pale-gold hair soothingly. She fervently hoped that it wasn't an empty promise, that her lover would come to his senses in time. It didn't bear thinking about if he wouldn't. For Jason's as well as for his own sake. If Tommy reconsidered and was too late ... no. Kim ruthlessly shoved the thought aside. However, while this talk had been necessary between them, they'd been sitting in this parking lot far too long. Kat needed to be back at her husband's side – and she, Kimberly, needed to be there as well, with the rest of their friends, waiting, hoping ... and praying.
As soon as Kat regained her composure, Kim released her. The two former Pink Rangers shared a tremulous smile, then Kim started her car again and silently drove them to the hospital.
~*~
The two women entered the hospital lobby and slowly made their way to a rest room before they went up to Intensive Care. Splashing some cold water in her face, Kat tried to erase at least some traces of her tears, but the red-rimmed eyes and pale cheeks reflecting back at her from the mirror told their own story. Kat shrugged mentally as she dried her hands. Who cared what she looked like? Jason was dying.
"No," she whispered, wanting to deny it, but feared she was only fooling herself. Time to face reality. She'd tried; she'd failed. All she could do now was stay at Jason's side until it ended, one way or another. Sighing desolately, the blonde took the elevator upstairs, to tell their friends. Kim never moved from her side, offering silent support with her conviction that Tommy would come. Eventually.
"There she is," Tanya nudged Trini as she saw Kat approaching. Eyes widened as the group recognized the slight figure, also dressed in pink, following her, but the five friends gathered around them immediately, anxious to hear what she'd accomplished.
"Where's Tommy?" Rocky asked impatiently. "I'd have thought he'd drive you ..."
"He ... he's not coming," Kat answered brokenly, as fresh tears started to fall. "I hurt him too much last year; he doesn't care enough anymore."
"What?!? But ... that's impossible!" her former teammate exclaimed, sharing horrified glances with his friends. "He has to! Jason is his best friend; he can't just let him die!"
"I don't think it really matters to Tommy, Rocky," Kat murmured through her tears, momentarily forgetting Kim's reassurances. "And I don't really blame him; we were the ones at fault, and deserve that he doesn't want to help us."
"'Deserve' has nothing to do with it, Kat" Tanya protested vehemently, her sense of fairness outraged at her former team leader's callousness. "Yes, you screwed up, yes, you hurt him, but that doesn't give Tommy the right to play God! Because that's what he's doing if he doesn't help Jason now!"
"He'll come around," Kimberly spoke from behind the group of ex-Rangers. While she knew their friends would accept her presence without question, right now Kat needed their support far more than she and so she'd stayed back a little. As they parted to look astonishedly at her, the slender young woman smiled tentatively and came closer. She looked earnestly into her successor's eyes. "Kat, I told you you just caught him by surprise. Tommy's not mean, you all know that. I'm sure, once he has time to think, he'll help Jason."
"Unfortunately, time's the one thing Jason doesn't have a lot of," Trini murmured, greeting Kim with a brief hug. "While Kat's been away, his condition has worsened. The fever from his infection is playing havoc with his immune system, and he's gone from being unconscious to comatose ..." her gentle voice trailed off as Kat sobbed once and hid her face in her hands. Nobody knew what to say.
"I didn't realize it was this bad," Kim whispered, going pale. "Oh my God ..."
Katherine swallowed her tears with an effort and made herself look at Kim. How little it mattered that she'd envied the pretty gymnast only a day ago! "And I wasn't here ..." she managed around another sob.
Kimberly didn't think, she just reacted. Here was a friend in pain, and she just couldn't stand by without offering what comfort she could. Hugging Kat for all she was worth, she let her own tears come as she murmured, "Kat, don't. You tried to do what you could to help him; I'm sure if Jase were aware, he'd understand. You couldn't know." Her own grief threatened to overwhelm her. "I'm so sorry ...".
"So am I," Kat replied, accepting the embrace gratefully. Having the comfort and support of her friends was a small piece of warmth in a world that had become bleak and cold ever since Skull had brought her the news of Jason's accident. Both the police officer and Bulk had dropped in briefly this morning, but while their reception had been warm, there really was no place for them among the former Rangers now. Later, they would get proper thanks for their help and concern, but this was not the time to admit outsiders into the once more tightly-knit circle of friends.
The seven gradually recovered their emotional equilibrium while Kim and Kat composed themselves as best they could, when the door to Jason's room opened and Helen Scott stepped out. She cast a last, lingering glance at her unconscious son, then turned towards her daughter-in-law, trying to hide her desperation. "He's peaceful. I ... I guess that's something at least; if Jason were in obvious pain ..." The older Mrs. Scott rubbed at her smarting eyes and smiled bravely. "I'll pick up Robin at Sophia's and wait at home; John'll be by later."
"Thanks," Kat choked out. "I'll ... I'll call if anything ..."
"Yes," Helen interrupted hastily. She really didn't want to give voice to her deepest fears. Instead, she reached out and drew Kat close. The two blonde women held onto each other for a long time, drawing mutual comfort from their love for the injured man fighting to live behind that white-painted door. Finally, Helen let go. "Look after my boy for me, Katherine," she pleaded. "I'll take care of yours."
"I will," the younger woman promised. She watched as Jason's mother briefly spoke to the assembled group of their friends, thanking them for their support. Not a word was said about the absence of three of them for the last year, and when she took her leave, Rocky, Adam and Kim wouldn't meet anyone's eyes for a minute.
"Don't," Kat asked them quietly. "Please ... don't look like that. I'm just too glad you're all here now." At that, the group gathered around their Australian friend once more, giving and receiving comfort from each other. Like it had always been. Katherine gazed at each in turn as she continued. "I truly don't know what I'd do if you weren't here with me right now. I need you all so much ... we both do ..." She drew in a shuddering breath. "I need to go back to Jason. Will ... will you wait here?" The timid question brought affirmative murmurs from all of them. Summoning a grateful smile, Kat then went inside the dimly-lit sick room to keep watch over Jason, while the others settled in the uncomfortable chairs once more, to wait for whatever the night might bring.
~*~
After driving around aimlessly for nearly an hour, thinking, Tommy finally arrived at the only decision he knew he could make. No matter what his personal demons told him, he had to save Jason, betrayal or no. His injured feelings weren't worth a life – especially not someone's who had been as close to him as Jason. Once that thought had become clear in his mind, he sought his way back towards the city. He took his sweet time on the drive to Angel Grove Memorial, though; it wasn't that he didn't feel some urgency to get to the hospital, but he needed a little more time by himself to sort out his emotions which were churning with a confusing mixture of hurt, anxiety and something that he finally identified as ... relief.
*Where did that come from?* he asked himself as he took the long way along the outskirts of town. *Why should I actually be relieved to be helping the very people who hurt me?*
*Because despite everything, they're your friends, and you missed them,* that nagging voice in his mind told him quietly. It had tried again and again over the past year to make him see, but he'd been too stubborn, too caught up in himself to listen. *Your family was right. Every word they said was true. Why won't you admit it? It's past time to forgive and move on. It's not as if you didn't want to ...*
The ex-Ranger signalled and threaded his way into the right exit lane. The park came up on his left, and Tommy drove past, back towards downtown.
*I know they're right. And I do admit it's time ...* he sighed to himself. But with that admission came a small rush of guilt. Because if he conceded that, he also had to concede that he'd played a part in how things had turned out – and that hurt. Not his feelings, exactly, but it definitely affected his self-esteem – the way he looked at himself. Thinking back on how obdurately he'd clung to his – at least initially justified – outrage, Tommy felt ashamed of himself. It was exactly that part of him that Rita had exploited when she'd made him her Evil Green Ranger; he'd always been all too ready to think that everybody was out to get him.
Not the Green, White, or later Red Ranger, but him, Tommy Oliver.
To an extent, it had stemmed in not knowing his true roots after he'd learned he was adopted. When the Oliver family had first moved to Angel Grove, Tommy had just been trying to come to terms with his unknown heritage, but it had been hard. Very hard. He knew his adoptive parents couldn't love him more if they tried, but mostly, he remembered feeling as if he belonged nowhere at all ... once Jason had broken Rita's spell and welcomed him on the team, though, all that had begun to change. His friends' – and most of all Jason's – unhesitating acceptance of him exactly as who and what he was had gone a long way to make him come to terms with his situation, to accept himself ... and be happy about it.
Once Zordon had made him the White Ranger and set him the task of leading the team, Tommy had believed to have overcome most, if not all of his insecurities. His friends' steadfast support and trust in him had helped cement those feelings, and the teenaged boy had reveled in feeling accepted and ... well, loved. Most of all by his girlfriend and his best buddy – his Bro. Jason.
However, losing some of his friends, again most notably Jason, and later Kimberly, to circumstances beyond his control had eroded his self-confidence once more at a very subtle level, Tommy knew now. Oh, it hadn't shown outwardly; being the leader of the Rangers had required that he master himself and his emotions in order to survive – and win, both on a personal level as well as in their fight to save Earth from being conquered by Evil. And he had – through five sets of Powers and an ever-changing team, he'd come through, and once he retired from Rangering at long last had been able to live as himself instead of in service to Mankind. He'd found his brother and at least some of his answers, started to build a career, had success, and a wonderful woman was waiting at his side. Then, that woman had left him. Losing Kat at that point in time, when he'd thought he had his life completely under control at last, had pulled the rug out from under his feet in a way that was far harder to bear in the long run than the emotional pain her desertion had caused.
*I always asked 'Why me?', never just 'Why?'* Tommy realized finally as he cruised over the freeway surrounding his hometown. *I was too concerned about me than about what Kat was feeling when I stood her up. And not just that last time. She was just there, waiting for me ... I took both her and Jason's support for granted ... I very rarely bothered to think how they felt. Or if I hurt them by my neglect. And I did neglect them both ... not intentionally, no, but I did. How often did I hang out with Jason when I was in town? Asked about how he was doing? Not often enough ...*
The first glimmers of that realization had made an appearance that night in New Orleans, when he and Kim had shared their first real kiss as adults – a kiss that very well might have led to more if a phone call hadn't interrupted. Things had just careened out of control, and he'd been content to let himself be swept along ... just as Kat and Jason probably had been that spring night last year. Now that Kimberly was back in his life and he could love again, Tommy slowly was regaining his confidence. It was a long road, and he'd only taken the first hesitant steps, but he knew at the end he'd find healing. At long last, after not wanting to see, he could understand. On the heels of that understanding finally came acceptance ... and the beginnings of forgiveness.
Tommy saw the sign to Angel Grove Memorial and made the turn, skillfully maneuvering his car into a parking space. He shut off the engine and sat for a few minutes, staring at the tall building. The late afternoon sun gilded the top floor windows, almost blinding him in their intensity. Tommy closed his eyes and rested his forehead on his hands which clutched the steering wheel like a lifesaver. Memories of two other times resurfaced when he'd also stood in front of the sliding doors, frightened nearly out of his wits but too stubborn, too proud to acknowledge it – the first time right after Kimberly's fall off the balance beam while she was still on the team, and again later, after Rocky's accident which caused his replacement by Justin. Thankfully, both incidents had ended well.
Today was the third time ... and suddenly an icy hand seemed to fist around Tommy's heart. What if this time, their luck had run out? What if this time, they did lose a friend? His best friend?
"No!"
Tommy was unaware he'd spoken aloud. The denial had been instinctive, and was born of the reawakening need to help the man who had become his best friend all those years ago, and of all the determination and defiance with which he'd always faced his enemies – from Rita to Zedd, Mondo and lastly Divatox. At one point or another, Jason had faced any and all of them at his side, however briefly; fought along with him, supported him, helped him. Not one evil alien entity had been able to defeat them as a team; there was no way he'd let Human incompetence win where far more sinister enemies had failed.
*Not if I have anything to say about it!* With that thought firmly in mind, Tommy climbed out of his car, locked it and strode purposefully towards the hospital's main entrance. There were lots of things still to be sorted out for all of them, but they could wait; Jason could not.
~*~
"Dr. Jones, a Mr. Tom Oliver to see you," a nurse informed the harried physician. She knew the man was exhausted and that he deserved his break, but everybody in Intensive Care knew about the young man slipping dangerously close towards the edge of no return with every hour that passed, and the group of his friends waiting, being there ... supporting his blonde wife who was so desperately hoping for a miracle. If this hawk-faced young man was right about his claim, maybe that miracle was going to happen after all. It was worth a disrupted nap time-cum-coffee break.
Alec Jones sighed as he rose from the couch in his office and slipped his white coat back on. *What now?*
he thought irritably as he ran a hand through his hair. "Yes, Mr. Oliver."
"Doctor."
Tommy briefly shook hands with the older man. There was no comfortable way to ease into this, so he came directly to the point. A growing sense of urgency he couldn't explain colored his voice as he met the tired grey eyes.
"I've come to donate blood for Jason Scott."
The medic sighed again as he gestured his visitor to sit, When the long-haired young man silently refused, he just perched himself on the edge of his desk. He'd been on his feet far too long already.
"Mr. Oliver ... what makes you think you would be a match for my patient when the Red Cross and the National Blood Bank couldn't find one? I assume you are aware of the problems we had in this regard?"
Tommy nodded.
"Yes, or I wouldn't be here. If I'd known sooner ... I was out of town," he said quietly. It wasn't a lie, and there was no need for this stranger to know all the private details. "But, I don't think I'm a match, I know I am. Jason has donated to me in the past. Just ask our friends." He hadn't seen anybody yet, but was pretty certain Zack would be there; maybe another doctor's opinion would carry more weight than just his own word.
"That doesn't mean you're suitable now," Alec replied cautiously. "We don't know when he acquired that weird element in his blood. It may well have been after that transfusion."
"It wasn't, trust me. Besides, you can always test me," Tommy offered with a tiny, mysterious smile that dsappeared almost as soon as it had come. It momentarily puzzled the doctor, but he considered it to be unimportant. He had a patient to think about.
"We'd have to do that anyway; we can't just take your word for something like that."
"Agreed. But, shouldn't we get to it, then?" The urgency was getting stronger, the closer he was to Jason and the longer he had to wait. Now that he was here, Tommy needed to act. Besides, patience had never been his strong suit. Why wasn't this man doing something already? Didn't these tests take time? Time Jason didn't have, if what Kat had said was true?
Alec Jones silently took the measure of the man standing so tensely in his office. The name and face were slightly familiar, but he couldn't accurately place them. Not being much of a sports fan, there was no way Jones could know about Tommy's status as a local celebrity with an ever-growing reputation. *No matter,* he dismissed it as irrelevant. He could always ask later. *If there is a 'later'.* The man was about the age of his patient, lean, fit and well-muscled, and wore casual yet stylish clothes that bore a well-known brand name. Even a tired doctor knew that much, especially since his teenaged kids always badgered him to buy them. With an effort, Jones recalled himself to the here and now.
"May I ask why you are offering to donate blood, Mr. Oliver?"
Tommy didn't have to think before answering. It was automatic, and it was right.
"Jason is my friend. He'd do the same for me."
The doctor regarded his determined would-be donor for a long minute, gauging his sincerity. Finding nothing amiss, he finally decided to be as open as possible without violating patient confidentiality.
"Assuming you are indeed a perfect match –" Alec held up his hand to still the incipient protest, "... and believe me, with something as inexplicable as this, I won't agree to anything unless it's perfect – I'm not at all sure that it would still do any good at this point. That young man lying in IC since yesterday has lost so much blood, the infection from his ruptured artery is spreading faster than we anticipated ... he may need more blood by now than you have to give," he informed Tommy seriously. The former Ranger blanched as the meaning of the quiet statement sank in. "You said you were unaware of your friend's condition until today; unfortunately, because of that, it may already be too late. It's not your fault, Mr. Oliver," Dr. Jones said hastily as he noticed that his visitor was swaying slightly.
Tommy reached blindly for the backrest of the chair in front of him as he reeled as if he'd just received a heavy blow. His hands tightened around the wooden frame until his knuckles stood out in white relief. *This can't be happening! It can't be too late – I won't let it! I've got to save Jason!*
"Does that mean you won't even try?" he asked hoarsely, trying to control his roller-coasting emotions. "You're giving up on Jase, just like that?" Right this moment, Tommy forgot everything but the need to help his friend. "Jason's a fighter; always has been. We're ... we're a team; if I can help him, he'll pull through. I just know he will!"
"I wish I could share your confidence; however ..."
"No!" Tommy interrupted hotly. "You said Jason needs a blood transfusion, and I'm willing to donate; take whatever you need from me, but do something!" He didn't care that his voice had risen and taken on a note of desperation.
"Mr. Oliver, we can't ignore medical facts. It's a sad thing but true that we have kept Jason Scott on saline solution IVs longer than was strictly advisable because I refused to give up. I admire your determination to help your friend, but we can't bleed you dry. Your friends won't thank you if you harm yourself in an attempt to save a life that is in all likelihood already lost, to put it bluntly. You'd do better to support his wife if ..." Alec snapped his mouth abruptly shut as he saw the flash of rage and despair heat up the brown eyes of the man before him. It told him very clearly that this was not acceptable, that he'd better come up with something else – or else. It was more than slightly disconcerting, but perversely it also brought back hope to the physician. A thought began to nibble at the outer edges of his mind. He got up and strode to the window, looking out to the mountains in the distance. They were getting hazy, with early dusk approaching ... fall was indeed coming fast. Alec took a few moments to compose himself as he strove to capture the elusive idea. He just got hold of it as his thoughts were interrupted by Tommy, whose voice had grown noticeably rough.
"Is ... is there really nothing I ... you ... can do? It can't just be too late ..."
Alec Jones weighed his options carefully. There was indeed a slim hope, but ... he turned back towards his visitor, searching his eyes long and hard.
"There might be a way," he offered slowly, testing the other's resolve as the idea clarified in his mind. It was risky, but ...
"What? I'll do anything," Tommy promised fervently.
"I can't guarantee it'll work, but we could go for a direct transfusion. We wouldn't draw blood from you, process it and then hook up an IV as we'd do normally, but establish a direct link, letting your blood flow immediately into Jason's circulatory system," he explained. "It's more dangerous, not least because obviously we can't work under as sterile conditions as otherwise, but if you're willing ... we could stretch the limits of what we can safely take in one setting ... add antibiotics as we go ... and if he should show signs of improving, we could let you rest a day or so, then draw more blood ... once, or maybe twice ..."
"Do it," Tommy decided unhesitatingly.
"You must understand that this will be extremely taxing on yourself, Mr. Oliver," the physician cautioned. "The risk to you is not inconsiderable. You'll experience a major blood loss in a very short time that will be equivalent to a hemorrhaging wound ...plus, if worse comes to worst, the puncture wound in your arm might get infected as well. And it still might be all for naught."
"That doesn't matter. If it's Jason's only chance, I'm willing to take it."
The sincerity in voice and eyes was unmistakeable. Giving in – and not at all unhappily; not even the veteran medic had been unaffected by Jason's plight – Alec put a grateful hand on Tommy's broad shoulder and squeezed once, briefly.
"Very well, then. Let's get you tested."
Breathing a silent sigh of relief, Tommy let himself be ushered out of the doctor's office towards Intensive Care. He hadn't realized before how much this meant to him, but hearing that it might be too late for Jason if something didn't happen now had only served to convince him that what he was doing was right. Dimly, he realized how a weight he'd been carrying for far too long lifted from his heart – only to be replaced by a deep, abiding fear for his friend's life. Praying that he hadn't come too late to do any good, Tommy followed Jason's doctor down the corridor. Just before they passed the swinging doors, Alec Jones halted, turned towards him and regarded him warmly.
"I just want to tell you one thing, Mr. Oliver – whatever the outcome, Jason is one lucky man to have friends like you and the others waiting in here. If good wishes, prayer and devotion to a friend can accomplish anything at all, his wife and the rest of you are giving it in spades."
Knowing that the man was right, Tommy just nodded in acknowledgement, feeling the security of the bond all of the Rangers had always shared settling once more in his soul. Only now he let himself realize that it had been missing from his life for far too long. Sending up a silent plea to whatever Higher Entity might be listening to help Jason, he went after the doctor.
~*~
"There's Tommy!"
Zack's jubilant stage whisper brought the others out of their thoughts, and as one they turned to watch their former leader emerge from a side door into the waiting area of ICU. He was pressing a cotton pad to the crook of his elbow, where a nurse had drawn blood to test him for compatibility. Tommy smiled slightly as Kimberly hugged him carefully, but his expression was serious as he faced the rest of his friends.
"Hey, guys."
"I knew you'd come!" Rocky enthused, but fell silent as Tommy fixed him with hooded eyes.
"Then you knew more than I did," he confessed quietly. "If it hadn't been for Kim and my folks ... I may have eventually decided it was my duty, after all, but I don't know if it would've been in time."
"Aw, Tommy ..." Rocky tried to protest, but a headshake shut him up.
"Don't make me better than I am, Rocko," the one-time Red Zeo Ranger advised. "I was feeling pretty mean for some time when Kat came to see me. I just hope I changed my mind soon enough to do any good."
"We all do," Tanya whispered as she hugged her old friend. "Jason just has to live; it'd be too cruel if ..."
"Yeah," Kim sighed from Tommy's side. "It may have taken a disaster like this, but I can't help but think that now that we're all together again that everything will be fine ..."
"Let's hope you're right," Adam mumbled. The others nodded in agreement as they gathered close, waiting for the lab to confirm the compatibility of Tommy's blood with Jason's.
~*~
Kat sat at Jason's bedside, hunched over in the uncomfortable chair, but her physical discomfort didn't matter. It didn't even register on her conscious mind that her body was cramping up, that muscles and sinews protested at being held still in one position too long. She clung to Jason's hand as she had all night, memorizing his too-pale features which were now flushed unhealthily as the fever raged through his unprotected body. The tiny cuts on the handsome face stood out in stark relief, but Kat didn't even see them. She was completely focussed on the closed eyelids, willing them to flutter and lift so that she could once more look into those dark eyes and see the warmth in there that she'd been so unwilling to acknowledge. *I never knew how much I'd miss that spark you always seem to have, love ... how much I want you to look at me the way you sometimes do ... as if I, and Robin, are the most precious things you'll ever have ...* It was probably true, Kat thought. She and their son were what Jason most valued. She remembered how hopefully Jason had offered to take her out just before she'd destroyed his world by her request for a divorce. The way the midnight eyes had lost their lustre, gone dull within a few heartbeats ... and it had all been her fault ... *How could I have done that to you? Why didn't I see?* The young woman was so absorbed in her misery that a nurse's light touch on her shoulder made her flinch in shock.
"Mrs. Scott? You need to go outside, please," the nurse murmured gently.
"No," Kat protested weakly as the stranger was gently but firmly disengaging her hands from around Jason's limp one. "I ... I can't go; I need to be with him ... d-don't want to leave him .."
"You can wait outside with your friends; we need room to work in, and we can't afford another possible source of infection in here," the nurse replied as she ushered a reluctant Kat to the door. A couple of med technicians bustled in with an extra bed and some strange apparatuses. Kat looked at the commotion with confused eyes.
"Wh-what's going on here? What are you doing? Is ... is something the matter with Jason?" Her heart was starting to beat frantically. Kat was no medical expert; the monitors had all sounded the same to her in the background, but what did she know? Had Jason's condition deteriorated and she hadn't noticed? What if ...
"Please, tell me, I ..." she clutched imploringly at the nurse's forearm, just before the dark-haired woman propelled her out into the corridor: "He .. Jason's not ... not dying, is he?"
"Not if we can help it," the voice of Jason's doctor spoke up. He was personally wheeling a cart with all sorts of instruments and tubing inside. "Mrs. Scott, we may have found a way to save Jason, but only if you let us work in peace. A donor who is a perfect match has been found, and he's standing by. I honestly don't know if it will do any good anymore, but we'll at least give it a try. But we need to work fast – time's running out on us. If you really want to help your husband, you're going to have to leave. Now!"
"I ... okay," Kat whispered, her mind numb with shock and worry. They'd found a donor? Jason could have a transfusion, after all? But Trini and Zack had said only Tommy could safely donate blood to Jason ... Tommy wasn't coming, though ... but Kim had said he would .... had he changed his mind?
*OhGodpleaseGodletitbeTommylethimhavecomeafteralllethimsaveJasonIlovehimsoJasonpleasedon'tleavemeGod ....*
Once outside the room, Kat found herself indeed face to face with her former boyfriend. Hope flared in her sapphire eyes as she looked up into his face and encountered a familiar expression – determination, and a glimmer of the warmth she had missed so during their earlier meeting. Tears welled up and she did nothing to check them as she stared at Tommy, desperately hoping that he meant it, that he hadn't come too late.
"Th-thank you," was all she managed to choke out in a strangled voice, however. She was trembling from head to foot, but she didn't care; Tommy was here, he had never let any of his friends down, now that he had come Jason would be safe, he just had to be, he had to ...
Her ex-boyfriend gazed deeply into the pale face, searching for he knew not what, but feeling nothing of his earlier resentment. Kat so obviously was in pain – more pain than any Human being should feel, and he vowed once more to himself that, no matter what the next twenty-four hours would bring, he wouldn't hurt her anymore. They'd done enough of that to each other already. Tommy didn't try to speak; he had no words right now, but he did manage a small smile and nod at the blonde dancer before he was summoned by the physician.
"We're all set up. Any time you're ready, Mr. Oliver."
"Coming."
Blinded by her tears, Kat watched numbly as Tommy was being led away, inside Jason's room, and her heart went with him, willing success into whatever was going to happen behind that closed door.
~*~
Tommy lay down on the medical cot next to Jason's bed and tried not to watch as a nurse slid an ominously large needle into the vein in his right elbow, taped it down, strapped his arm to the cot and affixed a clear plastic tube to the other end. Needles of any kind weren't exactly things he liked. Dr. Jones was doing the same to Jason's left arm, checked and adjusted the medical machinery one last time, then smiled encouragingly at Tommy.
"Ready?"
"As I'll ever be," he answered.
"Okay. Let's start, then." The physician carefully opened a gauge and turned towards the monitors.
There was a slight, numbing sensation of coldness, and then a minuscule tugging as blood began to spurt into the tube in a dark red flow. Fascinated against his will, Tommy watched as that red trail crept onwards, across the space between his cot and Jason's bed. As the tube was filled all the way, it disappeared inside another needle ... and since that needle stuck in Jason's elbow, into his bloodstream.
Automatically, Tommy's eyes snapped towards his friend's face, looking for a reaction, but naturally there wasn't one. Reason told that it would be a while, if at all, until any kind of effect could be seen. Dr. Jones seemed intent on watching his readouts, adjusting a dial here, tightening a tiny screw there, so gradually Tommy relaxed back onto the firm cot, but continued to look at Jason. His mind instinctively filtered out the traces of grime and dust in the dark hair, the cuts, the fevered flush on too-pale cheeks ... and found that outwardly at least Jason hadn't changed at all. Inwardly, though ... he had betrayed him ... no. Tommy refused to think about that any longer. It had been a lapse, an error in judgement, a mistake. Finally, Tommy believed. Jason was still the man who had befriended him all those years ago, who had reached out to him unhesitatingly and been his support and mainstay through adolescence and into adulthood. He just couldn't have changed at the core of his being – the part that had always spoken to Tommy ... whose spirit had always responded to its mate, right from the start.
The broad chest seemed to move hardly at all, but the heartbeat monitor emitted a steady beep-beep that was making Tommy sleepy the longer he lay in the quiet, darkened room. Nurses and doctor whispered to each other as they moved about, too low to understand, but it didn't matter. Vaguely the young man realized that his ever-growing lassitude was due to the blood loss he was experiencing, but it didn't matter; he was literally giving a part of himself so that his friend could live. And Jason was his friend, Tommy knew that now; betrayal or no, he wanted Jason back in his life. Kat, too; it had hurt to curb his impulse to comfort her this afternoon. They may no longer be in love with each other, but they'd started out as friends once ... why couldn't they be friends again?
Tommy yawned, his body reacting to the drainage, but he didn't mind; in a strange way, it felt as if with every droplet of blood flowing from him into Jason, a bit of the anger, hurt and pain was washed away as well.
*Like water eroding sand from around a rock,* Tommy thought drowsily, finding the image strangely fitting. For their friendship had always been a rock; strong and solid and something for both to lean on through danger, loss both personal and of Powers, and quiet times. They'd find a way to rebuild that, he was sure of it now. It would take some doing on both their parts, but the core of what had always been between them right from the beginning was still there. It had just become obscured somehow by diverging interests, by changing circumstances, by different choices ... by life. And life was what this was all about, wasn't it? Jason's life.
*You gave your blood for me once, when I'd nearly killed you only a few months before. Now I can give it back to you ... and hopefully give you back your life as well.*
"Just hang in there, Bro," Tommy murmured as he felt himself being drawn under into sleep. "I'm here ... I'll help you ... I promise, Bro ..." His blood continued to flow into Jason, but that was as it should be. The chocolate eyes closed wearily, and the leanly-muscled body relaxed as Tommy inexorably succumbed to the darkness.
~*~
Another darkness had long fallen outside when Kat crept quietly back into her husband's room. A couple of nurses had wheeled the cot with a sleeping Tommy to another room a while ago, and Kim had gone to sit with him. The others either dozed in the waiting area, looked in on Tommy or had gone to the cafeteria for some food. Kat had asked permission to be with Jason again, and after some hesitation, Dr. Jones had given it. So it was that Kat found herself alone with her husband in the dimly-lit room.
She pulled up a footstool and settled back at Jason's right side, taking his hand in hers as she'd done almost all the time she'd stayed here. It literally gave her something to hold on, even though the strong fingers lay limply in hers. But while the dry skin was far cooler than she was used to, it was yet comforting to feel the thready pulse at the wrist, or to nuzzle her cheek into Jason's palm. She did so now, kissing the center tenderly as she cupped it against her face, hoping that somehow, it would register on Jason's unconscious mind that she was here, at his side, where she belonged.
Kat gazed longingly at the still face, wishing for the thousandth time that the dark eyes would open and look at her ... give even the tiniest sign of recognition. Nothing happened, and she wearily closed her eyes, holding tightly onto Jason's hand as she let her mind go blank of everything except her feelings for the injured man. She felt strangely divorced from her cramped posture, not caring that her body hurt in various places from sitting still so long. After a while, her emotions would no longer be contained, and almost unconsciously, she began to speak as if to herself, slowly, haltingly, as she quietly confessed her love to Jason ... it didn't matter any more if he could hear or not.
"Why couldn't I see? Why didn't I know? Oh Jase ... you've come to mean so much to me, and I've been so blind ... I've hurt you so often, and you always forgave me. If ... no, when; I can't bear to think otherwise ... you wake up, will you do so once again? Because I'm sorry – so, so sorry – that I said those things to you ... I didn't mean any of it, I know that now. I don't love Tommy anymore; or only as a friend. He's here ... he has come ... he's truly given his blood to save you, you know that, love? Don't let it be in vain ... everybody's here, waiting, praying for you to come back to us ..."
The young woman had to swallow; her throat was raw and dry, but she was beyond tears by now. They still threatened, sitting just under the surface, but this was not the time to shed any more. However disjointed or rambling her confession was, this was a time where only truth could be spoken.
"Do you know that all our friends have come to support us? They'd all have given whatever you needed if they'd been able. Jase, we're back together, everybody except Aisha and Billy; the only one missing to complete the circle is you. Don't leave us, dearest. Not now. You're a fighter; don't give up. Not when we can let the past go at last."
A strangled sob escaped Kat despite herself. She pressed another kiss into Jason's hand before she could go on.
"We need you to do that, Jason. We need you, period. Our friends ... Tommy – I think it'd kill him if you died when he's come to save your life – your parents would miss you so much ... so would Robin. Our baby. You love him so ... don't let your son grow up without knowing you, love ... he needs you. And so do I." Kat smiled mistily; although she didn't know if her husband could even hear her, it felt incredibly good to just say it out loud to him. "I love you. I didn't know until now, when I'm in danger of losing you. I think, now that I can see clearly, that maybe you've come to care a little for me as well. I hope you do; maybe you'll be able to forgive me my stupidity. But ... I also can't help but hope and pray that somehow, you'll pull through. You've always been so strong and stubborn ... oh Jason, please don't give up! We all still have so much living to do ... and we don't ... I don't want to live without you. I'm not even sure I can."
She kissed the cool hand once more, then lay her head wearily onto the edge of the mattress. Closing her burning eyes, disregarding her extremely uncomfortable position, Kat whispered brokenly what was deepest in in her heart.
"Please ... don't leave me, Jason. I'm sorry for everything I did to hurt you ... I love you. I need you. Please come back to me..."
The softly-accented voice drifted off as the young woman gave in to her physical and mental fatigue and slipped into an exhausted sleep that was anything but restful.
~*~
Darkness. There was darkness all around him.
The last thing he remembered was hearing a crunching, crashing sound above his head, and when he'd looked up, startled out of his thoughts about his wife, the bright blue sky had suddenly been obscured by something large, and dark, and heavy, and it had hit him, hurt him, he'd stumbled, then fallen, fallen ... the darkness and heaviness had settled all around him, closing out everything except a sudden stabbing pain in his leg, chest, shoulder, then there had been a blinding explosion of white-hot agony in his head and he knew nothing anymore, his last thought being, "Now I'll never be able to ask Kat not to leave me, to tell her I love her..." before the darkness claimed him.
He'd floated in a sea of agony for a long time, oblivious to everything around him, knowing at some subliminal level that he was losing the Fight, losing everything he held dear, losing his life ... but it didn't really matter. Kat, his Kitten, had said she was going to leave him ... what purpose was there in holding on? It would be so easy to just let go, let Darkness claim him completely and go forth into the Light he knew was waiting just out of his sight. If he concentrated, he could sense it coming closer, closer, and a part of him, the part who knew he'd lost his best friend, his dream, the woman he'd come to love, welcomed it, wanted to reach out and embrace that Light. But another part of him clung stubbornly to the flickering spark of life in his soul, wouldn't give up hope that even these odds could be beaten.
Agony had long given way to an encompassing cold and numbness and he knew he was dying when slowly, gradually, something began to infuse new warmth into his battered body. It was spreading out in a gentle lapping wave that brought the pain back ... but also strengthened that persistent spark, fanned it with the softest of breezes until it caught, changed, grew into a tiny flame that emanated more warmth, slowly defeating the cold. The darkness became less welcoming after a while due to that flickering flame, more hostile, an enemy to be defeated rather than a friend to be embraced.
Every one of his fighter's instincts surfaced, hesitantly at first, but determined not to give in. Body reawakened and rallied, summoning its own defenses on the cellular level as the battle for survival was joined in earnest. Supported and helped by the still-spreading warmth, Spirit withdrew from the edge of oblivion, ready to subdue Darkness which still hovered just within reach, poised to pounce back and reclaim its victim at the slightest sign of weakness. There was something that could help, that would bring victory ... if only he could remember ...
With Spirit once more fighting to survive, memories came trickling back into Mind ... and while Mind struggled to assimilate images of falling, of being buried under heaviness, of hurting, Heart joined the battle, reminding that there was another fight waiting, that it wasn't prepared to just give up on the woman who had become central to its well-being ... Kat ... she was... all creamy-peach and pale gold and sapphire, and in a life that was good but edged with guilt represented everything that was light...
Light.
Of course! Light was the element which would help beat back Darkness, its natural enemy. To experience Light, he would have to see ... but how ... Mind nudged Body, and together the two tried to make closed eyelids lift, but it was too hard, too exhausting, he hurt so much, he was so tired ... Heart and Spirit rushed in, and combined forces. Drawing on every ounce of strength the wave of warmth had given them, the four elements which formed the essence of what was JASON succeeded in persuading muscles and nerves to let in Light.
Unbeknownst to the exhausted woman slumped at the edge of the hospital bed, as yet unnoticed by the monitoring machinery, eyelids started to tremble, fluttered and at last cracked open.
~*~
*Impossible! Jason's unconscious! He can't be touching me ... can he?*
Her mind tried to wrap itself around the idea. After having almost given up all hope, it took some effort, but another whisper-touch at her forehead made her heart rate speed up alarmingly. Hardly daring to breathe, almost afraid to move and learn that she'd been imagining things, Kat forced herself to open her eyes. She was loathe to lose that small touch, but she just had to see, had to know, had to make sure that her prayers had been answered. Gulping down an almost paralyzing fear, the young woman slowly lifted her head from the crisp sheet and sought out Jason's too-pale face.
She met a pair of dark, fever-bright eyes, which were only open a tiny slit, but looked at her consciously and with recognition.
"Jason," she breathed, suddenly lightheaded with excitement and wildly surging hope. "Oh my God, Jason ..."
Instinct propelled her up, closer to the dry, cracked lips which tried to form words as the midnight eyes followed her every movement. Tears once more started to flow, but Kat didn't care; Jason was awake, looking at her ... she'd prayed for another chance, and like a miracle, her prayers had been answered! Her own eyes bright, Kat very tenderly touched a darkly-stubbled cheek.
Jason exhaled softly as he felt the caress, but fought to keep his eyes open. Now that he was conscious again, if only barely, he was beginning to hurt in places he hadn't even known he'd had, he couldn't move anything but his eyes and a finger or two of his right hand, he knew, he'd tried, and he was desperate to go back to sleep, to be rid of the pain, but there was something he had to say first, to ask Kat ... he struggled to make his vocal chords cooperate. Finally, he managed to form something vaguely resembling coherent words.
Kat felt more than heard his effort, and while she was fumbling with one hand for the button to summon a nurse or a doctor, she leant over Jason, wanting to but not daring to kiss him ... fearing she wouldn't be able to stop.
"What is it, love?" she whispered as she located the call button at last. Pressing down on it, she then gently brushed a strand of dark hair back, a gesture of caring and tenderness she had very rarely offered Jason during her marriage so far. Silently she vowed to do it more often as she noticed the softening in Jason's eyes.
He summoned what little strength he had.
"Don' ... goooh," he mumbled, barely able to form the words. "Llllovvyuuhh ... dooohn' leavmuuh..."
"Oh God."
Kat couldn't help her sob. Behind her, she heard the door to the room open, but it didn't matter. Despite her former hesitancy, she lowered her face to the immobilized dark head. As Alec Jones hurried into the room to see to his patient, Kat was oblivious to all but the spark once more lighting up the bruised, exhausted dark eyes. Placing her trembling lips in the softest of butterfly kisses against Jason's, she smiled tremulously at her husband as she bound herself to him all over again in a promise far more heartfelt than her wedding vows had been.
"I won't leave you, dearest. I was wrong, and I'm sorry. I promise, we'll talk about this tomorrow," she added as she was insistently shouldered aside by a determined nurse. Kat moved to the foot of the bed, out of the way of the busy hospital personnel. Jason didn't let her out of his sight as he endured a brief but thorough examination, but was relieved to let himself go again as his physician straightened with a relieved look from his gauges and dials. Alec tucked his stethocope back into his coat pocket and smiled at the young couple.
"We'll have to take it to the lab for confirmation, but I'd say the transfusion was a success. His BP is approaching normal, ECG is much better than before, the fever has gone down a couple of degrees ... with all due caution, it looks like we've won."
Tired as he was, not caring about his physical condition right now but only about the fact that Kat had said she wasn't going to leave him, Jason mentally fully endorsed the sentiment as his fatigue overwhelmed him, taking Kat's last whispered words back into the depths of healing sleep with him.
"I'm not going anywhere. I promise, Jason. I love you."
~*~
Jason instinctively tried to turn his head as he heard the door to his hospital room open. He was prevented from doing so for more than a couple of inches by the sandbags immobilizing him. Dr. Jones had explained to him earlier, as they transferred him from ICU to a regular ward, that it was necessary because of his hairline skull fracture, but that didn't make it any easier to bear. Cursing mentally at the blinding pain shooting through his skull that even such a slight attempt at movement caused, he rolled his eyes sideways as far as he could, wanting to see his visitor. Soon a slender figure stepped into his still somewhat blurry vision.
"Good morning, love," Kat smiled tenderly at her husband.
"Kat," Jason mumbled, confused, elated and excited at the same time. He'd never seen, or heard, that particular expression in her eyes and voice before, not even in their most intimate moments. He ached in regions of his body he hadn't known existed, much less expected to be so sensitive to even the slightest movement, was still deathly tired and damnably weak, but that didn't prevent him from thoroughly enjoying the soft-as-petals kiss Kat bestowed on his lips. When the gentle pressure eased, he sought the softly glowing eyes with his own.
"I ... thought I'd ... been ... dreaming," he whispered with an effort. "Wasn't I?"
The blonde sat down on the trusty footstool and reached for her husband's hand, cupping her cheek in the palm in a rapidly-becoming familiar gesture. She didn't pretend to misunderstand.
"No, you weren't, dearest. Not unless I was dreaming, too."
Midnight eyes shone with sudden happiness, despite the traces of pain lingering in their depths. A smile played around the firm mouth and still-weak fingers touched a soft, pale cheek down which a single tear slid, leaving a silvery trail in its wake. Jason wiped it away with unsteady fingers.
"I'm glad."
"Me, too. I love you, Jason."
The need to say this to him had been overwhelming; finding Jason conscious and alert was just too much for it to be held back a single moment longer. Besides, it was the most important thing Kat could think of to tell Jason now that his physician had assured her he was going to be on the mend. It would be a long, slow process; Jason's injuries had been too severe, and he'd come too close to death for comfort, but he would live, and that was all that mattered. Everything else, they could deal with in its own time.
"Love you, too, Kitten," he murmured back, momentarily near-stunned by the rush of sheer pleasure coursing through him. To his surprise, he saw a flood of color stain the porcelain face, and Kat lowered her eyes, as if to hide from his gaze. "Kat?"
Blue eyes hesitantly met his; they were filled with a mixture of pain and shame – just as they'd been at the beginning of their relationship. Then, it had been because of the wrong they'd both done Tommy; now ... there was no reason Jason could come up with in his tired mind that would cause that particular reaction. Some of his confusion must have transmitted itself to Kat, because she tried a wobbly smile before she whispered barely audibly, "I'm sorry ..."
"For what?" Jason asked, thoroughly befuddled. They'd just admitted that they loved each other; what was there to be sorry for?
"F-for what I said to you on Thursday morning," Kat murmured, once more looking away. However, a moment later she bravely met the dark eyes. She needed to get this off her chest as soon as possible, and spoke in a rush.
"Jase, please believe me, I ... I didn't mean it. I mean, I was serious at the time, but I could never have done it; I only thought I wanted to leave you, but I couldn't ... can't, not really; I thought Tommy wanted me back, he said something on TV that made me believe, only he didn't, it was just a diversion, and I was being stupid and thought ... but I didn't know then that it's you I love, I only thought I was still in love with Tommy, I ... are you laughing at me?" she finally stopped her increasingly muddled explanation as she felt the bed shake slightly and heard Jason wince; the chuckles he couldn't suppress hurt, in places he hadn't even known could hurt.
"A little bit," he admitted in a hoarse whisper once he'd calmed down again. Seeing the look of pained confusion cross the still-pale features, he tightened his fingers as much as he was able around the slim hand which rested in his.
"Kat, love, it doesn't matter," Jason murmured soothingly. "You're here with me now, you said you love me ... and I believe you. All else is already forgotten."
"H-how c-can you?" Kat sobbed once, the memory of her selfishness very vivid – as was the memory of the shadow darkening Jason's eyes at her announcement. "I never thought of you, only of myself ... " a muted moan from her husband stopped her as he instinctively tried to turn towards her. "Jason, don't! You'll hurt yourself!"
He grinned weakly as he settled back onto the pillow and waited for the pain from his broken ribs to subside. The ever-present splitting headache also had increased significantly. A part of Jason wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep, but this was too important. With an effort, he made himself say what needed to be said.
"Tell me about it." He dismissed Kat's alarm over his discomfort with a quirky smile that did nothing to reassure his wife, and ploughed on regardless. "Kat ... I love you. If I really wasn't dreaming last night, I seem to remember you promised me not to leave me. I'll hold you to that promise ... and we can talk about the rest tonight. Or tomorrow, I don't care. I'm gonna be here a while yet; we'll have time. Okay?"
Kat's heart swelled with sympathy as she listened to Jason's halting words, often interrupted by the need to gasp for breath. He was speaking slowly and so softly, she had to strain her ears to understand everything over the muted din of the hospital ward, but once the meaning sank in, she found a smile that came from the bottom of her soul. As she'd done so often since the accident, she raised the weak hand to her lips, caressing the palm and back softly. It was so good to feel Jason's skin warm and alive against her face again!
"I know, love. I just needed to say I'm sorry – because I am. More than I can ever say." She kissed the back of Jason's fingers.
"'s okay, Kat," he murmured, yawning. His exhaustion was catching up with him, fast. The aftermath of his injuries, and the medication still administered to him via IV drip, made him extremely sleepy. But ... Jason forced his drooping eyelids open once more and found another engaging grin for his contrite wife. Touching a forefinger against the corner of the rosy mouth, he tried for a suggestive tone. Unfortunately, it didn't quite work in the weak whisper that was all he was capable of at the moment.
"I'd rather you gave me a real kiss."
"Oh, you ...!" Kat couldn't help but laugh through her remorse and still-brimming eyes. But she complied with the pleading look, got up and leaned over Jason. With trembling lips, she touched his forehead, eyes, cheeks and finally the warm mouth.
"I love you, Jason," she reaffirmed as they parted at last. Her reward was a shaky but pleased smile as the dark eyes closed and within a few moments, the handsome features relaxed and deep, even breaths revealed that he'd fallen into much-needed healing sleep.
Kat sat for a few more minutes holding on to her husband's hand, sending up a grateful prayer to the Heavens that she'd ... no, that they'd been given a second chance, and she vowed to herself that she wouldn't waste it. Not again.
~*~
Jason awoke on Sunday slightly more rested and alert, and he waited as patiently as possible for Kat's visit, suffering the nurses' ministrations with barely-controlled exasperation. He hated being washed and tended to like a baby! However, banged up and bruised, bandaged and partially immobilized as he was, he didn't have much of a choice. Grudgingly Jason admitted to himself the sponge bath he'd been given did feel rather good; it had taken care of the persistent itching the grime from his accident had left on his skin.
Most of the tubes and monitors had been removed from his body; only the ubiquitous nasal tube and the necessary IV drip were still attached. Jason watched somewhat bemusedly as the head nurse hooked up not only a bag with nutrients, but also a second plastic container that held a dark red liquid that could only be blood. It set his mind to whirling and was the main reason he wanted to see Kat – he knew only too well that there was only one person to his knowledge who could donate blood to him safely.
Tommy.
*Do I dare believe it was him? Two years ago, I would've assumed – shit, I would've known – that Tommy had been the one. But after what we did to him ... he really had no reason to ... how could he have known?*
The questions danced in his brain like butterflies drunk on sunshine, and Jason let himself drift while he waited, idly going through possible scenarios.
*Of course, it is possible that somehow, somewhere, they found another donor for me ...*
Somehow, though, there was a core of certainty deep in his soul that just knew Tommy had been the one to save his life; Dr. Jones had, at Jason's insistence, told him exactly what was wrong with him – the extent of his injuries, possible consequences, and the measures he had taken to make sure his patient survived. Due to patient confidentiality, however, he hadn't divulged the name of the blood donor, even though Jason had asked. However, it had taken every ounce of mental agility he possessed (which admittedly wasn't much right now, exhausted as he was) and a lot of evasiveness and fancy verbal footwork to escape the doctor's quite natural curiosity about the element in his blood that had caused so many problems. If it had been Tommy who'd donated to him, they'd have to get at least their stories straight to explain what they'd taken to call the "Ranger Factor" all those years ago. Jason experienced a small thrill at the thought of talking to his best friend again. It was half fear, half delight, but ...
He was startled out of his reverie by the arrival of his blonde wife, who greeted him with a smile and a very loving kiss – two things the injured young man felt he could very easily get used to every morning. And night, or any other time of the day. The thought brought some much-needed color to his cheeks.
"Hi."
"Hi yourself," Jason replied, groping for the control that would raise him into a slightly reclining position instead of lying flat on his back. He wasn't allowed to do it for long, but he infinitely preferred it to the feeling of helplessness he experienced otherwise. "How're you? And the baby?"
"He's fine," Kat smiled. "We all are, now that you're out of danger.Your mom is having her hands full; she can't even go to Church this morning, although she said she really wanted to – especially today."
Having witnessed Helen Scott's teary-eyed relief at her son's recovery the night before, Jason knew what Kat was referring to. However, he also knew his mother. And his father.
"Don't tell me she's not loving every minute of it," he grinned. "Mom and Dad have been dying to have Robin all to themselves for months."
"I know. Otherwise, I'd be feeling totally guilty about this," Kat sighed a bit ruefully. She'd need her in-laws' support and help in the days to come; the weekend was going to be over the next day, and she had to go back to work. Rocky's sisters would be at school until early afternoon, and Daycare wouldn't cover all the time she'd be away. When her parents came back from Australia ... but that wouldn't be for another ten days. In the meantime, they just couldn't afford to miss her income. Bulk's boss had called and reassured her that Jason's hospital bills would be picked up by the company's insurance, since the evidence was clear-cut that it had been the company's fault ... but it would take a while for the paperwork to be processed, and right now nobody could say how long Jason would be out of commission – or if he would recover completely. The prognosis was cautiously optimistic, but ....
"Don't, Kat," Jason interrupted her thoughts softly. He had a fairly good idea where she'd mentally wandered off to; it was nothing that hadn't crossed his own mind while he was dozing the night away, waking at odd hours and waiting for the morning. "My folks love the baby, and they love us; they don't mind helping out. We'll find a way to thank them properly once I'm on my feet again."
"Jason ..." Kat sighed helplessly, but was cut off by her husband's weak, but determined voice.
"No. Or rather, yes. I will recover, honey. I know what's wrong with me, I know it's probably gonna take a long time, but I will come back. I just know it." He reached out to touch her face. "I have too much to live for not to. Besides, I won't saddle you with an invalid."
"It wouldn't matter if you were," Kat whispered sincerely, but feeling strangely heartened. She knew Jason's determination and fierce will and courage. If he could believe he would recover, she would, too.
Their eyes met, full of promises, and both smiled lovingly at each other, wishing they had more privacy and greater ease of movement to truly embrace. Before they could give voice to anything else, though, they were interrupted by a somewhat hesitant knock on the door. Jason looked at his wife, puzzled. He knew it couldn't be his parents; who ...?
Kat shrugged at the mute question, but an excited little smile began to play around her lips as she called out "Come in!". Her suspcions were confirmed when the door to Jason's private room – courtesy of the construction company's insurance – opened and a group of five filed in, three of which were sporting rather sheepish expressions. However, Jason's features lit up with genuine pleasure as he recognized his friends.
"Guys!"
The single word, though still weakly spoken, conveyed a world of gratitude and delight, and it brought Trini and Zack to his side immediately. A strong handshake, a careful hug and kiss were all that were needed between the longtime friends. As soon as Trini straightened up again, though, Jason zeroed in on the trio waiting somewhat hesitantly at the foot of his bed. Tanya smiled at him through misty eyes, and Jason returned it; however, most of his attention focussed on Rocky and Adam.
Three pairs of eyes, in varying shades of deep brown, locked gazes.
Adam had to look away after only a second or two; seeing Jason like this, he was all too aware of how badly he'd handled the whole situation a year ago, and was feeling deeply ashamed of himself. Especially since, in that one long look, he'd seen no trace of accusation in Jason's expression, but just questions, and genuine pleasure.
Nobody said anything for a few moments, then Rocky broke the awkward silence with what he thought was an innocuous enough question.
"How do you feel?"
Jason turned slightly toward his erstwhile successor.
"Like a roof fell on me," he deadpanned. There was an instant of shocked stillness, then Zack half-stifled a giggle; he was quite familiar with his oldest friend's sometimes rather ... off-beat sense of humor. He winked at Tanya, who started to chuckle; she in turn set Rocky off, and soon even Adam joined in. Laughter filled the sunny hospital room for several seconds, and only Trini noticed the slight hysterical edge to it that was partially due to guilt, and partially to relief. However, she wisely said nothing; her friends needed the release from all the tension they'd been under, both physically and emotionally.
"Jason...!" she admonished though, smiling, as the laughter died down. "Behave!"
"Why?" the patient grinned. "That's no fun ..."
"... and there's been precious little fun around here lately," Zack added, coming to Jason's aid. "Not only these last few days, but overall. Man, we used to laugh together all the time ..."
"Until Kat and I blew it," Jason said, suddenly sober. "Guys ... I know I speak for Kat, too, when I apologize to all of you. We not only hurt Tommy, but you as well, splitting us – the team – up. That should never have happened, and we're sorry."
"Yes," Kat confirmed. "We never meant to make any of you choose sides, and would give anything if we could make all the anguish of this last year go away. I know we can't, but I do hope you'll be able to forgive us." She blushed, memories of her own pain shadowing the blue eyes, but met her friends' incredulous looks bravely. Jason's fingers tightened reassuringly around hers as the couple waited for a reaction. They'd wanted to apologize like this for a very long time.
"You're sorry?!?" Adam choked at last, unable to keep silent any longer. "What about me, and Rocky? Tanya at least tried to understand, but when I think of how I refused to even listen for months ... I even made things more difficult for her, all but forcing her to neglect her best friend's needs! We judged you without giving you a chance to explain; we took Tommy's side without question. If anyone broke up the team, it was us!"
"Yeah," Rocky mumbled, blushing guiltily. "If anyone should be apologizing, it should be us ..."
Before anyone could say anything else, Jason raised his voice as much as he was able. Despite his obvious physical weakness, the Command Tone was very evident, and both Rocky and Adam responded automatically to his authority as a Leader, even though they'd never served under Jason as Rangers.
"Stop it!"
All eyes turned toward him. Jason instinctively tried to sit up, winced with the pain the sudden movement caused his broken ribs, and slumped back into the mattress, his head beginning to pound mercilessly. Kat leaned over him worriedly, but Jason reassured his wife with a look and fleeting smile. He cursed once under his breath as the various aches in his body began to subside, but forced himself to ignore his discomfort.
"Guys ... I don't want to fight with you over this. Not again. Kat told me how much you were there for her last weekend, when she needed your support. As far as I'm concerned, that's what counts – not what went on before."
Jason drew a few deep breaths, trying to still his racing pulse. Shifting on the hospital bed until he'd found a position that was marginally more comfortable – even after less than two days, he was coming to hate his inability to move freely – he fixed each of his friends, including Zack and Trini, with his dark eyes.
"All of you were there for us when we needed you most. That's all that counts; all that matters. As far as I'm concerned, the case is closed."
"Please," Kat added softly, her voice a curious counterpart to her husband's weak, but determined tone. "I for one was, and still am, just so happy to have you here, to know that Jason will live ... if you're willing, and if you can forgive us, can't we all be friends again?" Her pleading look, filled with cautious hope, sought out the others' eyes.
Adam and Rocky exchanged a quick glance with each other, then searched the faces of Trini and Zack – those of the former Rangers who had given their support to Jason and Kat almost right away, after listening to both sides. They found only smiling encouragement, which eased a lot of the tension filling the quiet room.
"Please, Adam," the erstwhile Green Ranger heard Tanya murmuring at his side. "You know it's what we've always hoped for ... isnt it?" She was clearly itching to go to Kat's side, but wouldn't leave her husband – just like she'd done for the past year and more. Slowly, Adam felt something heavy and oppressing lift from his heart as his eyes sought ought his injured friend and teammate's. They, too, reflected only hope, and ... affection? His trademark shy grin began twitching at the corners of his mouth, and for once Adam didn't wait for Rocky to make the final choice for both of them, as used to be his habit. This was right.
"If you're sure?" he nevertheless felt compelled to ask, already moving slowly towards the side of Jason's bed.
"I'm sure. We both are," Jason confirmed, never losing eye contact. Sliding his hand out of Katherine's slender fingers, he reached out to Adam. Without hesitation, the Asian grasped the offered hand, and Rocky joined his own on top. The three men held onto each other for a long minute, communicating silently as the bond of their friendship rewove itself. Tears slid noiselessly down Kat's cheeks as she watched, too happy to say anything, but she returned her best friend's embrace gladly as Tanya hugged her, sniffling slightly herself. Zack and Trini watched the emotional reunion with moist eyes and giddy grins, exhaling noisily as the moment peaked and passed.
~*~
"Now that that's over with, what's going to happen now?"
"What do you mean?" Tanya asked, pulling over a chair to sit next to Kat.
"Well, Jase's going to be here for quite a while – at least until his skull fracture heals enough for him to be out of bed. At a guess, that'll take at least a month ..."
"The treatment and hospital costs will be covered by the construction company's insurance," Kat answered for her husband, correctly divining what Zack was getting at. "However, I don't know what to do about Jason's school ..."
A frown crossed the exhausted face, but Jason had to admit, he was worried himself. True, he had an assistant, but Michael couldn't be expected to run the dojo all by himself for weeks on end. He didn't want to burden his friends with his business problems, though.
"We'll manage somehow ..." he started to say, but to his surprise Rocky interrupted him, grinning a bit bashfully.
"I've given the matter some thought," the young sensei began, only to be interrupted by a playful "Uh-oh!" from the irrepressible Zack. He scowled at the first Black Ranger for a second, until he couldn't help himself and chuckled somewhat ruefully.
"Smartass. -- As I was saying, I thought about this, made a couple of calls yesterday, and ... well, to make a long story short, how would you feel if I took on at least some of your students for the time being? Some can come over to my place in Stone Canyon, I think I can arrange to teach a couple of classes here in Angel Grove ... and Justin is doing grad work at AGU this fall; he's willing to take over the Saturday groups." Rocky's successor was still in loose contact with his former teammates, but the difference in their ages, plus his research in Spatial Engineering prevented a really close association. He'd mostly (and perhaps wisely) had kept out of the conflict among the older ex-Rangers, not wanting to choose sides in a quarrel not his own.
"That ... that'd be fantastic," Jason stammered, stunned. It still would put his school on a very precarious footing, financially and otherwise, but at least it would leave him with a business to come back to, once he was fully recovered. "B-but guys ... I really can't ask you to do that ..."
"You're not asking, we're offering," Rocky said firmly, meeting Jason's incredulous gaze steadily. It was a small way of making up for his stubbornness and neglect. "It's what friends do ... and we are friends, as you rightly reminded me on Thursday morning. Aren't we?"
The question hung between them, then a slow, relieved smile stole over Jason's features. Once again, he reached out, and clasped Rocky's hand in his own.
"Yes, we are," he said huskily. "Thanks, buddy. I owe you – not only for this, but also for saving my life. Kat told me that if you hadn't known exactly where to search for me ..."
"Forget it, Jase," Rocky smiled, blushing slightly. "It was pure chance that I wasn't standing right next to you, and that I was looking back towards you. If I hadn't gone to my car to get that measuring tape ... Bulk had as much if not more to do with digging you out than I had."
"I know, and I plan to thank him properly as soon as I'm able," Jason replied. He shifted under the covers, and winced as the pain from his injuries made itself known most unpleasantly. A sudden pallor spread across his face, and a monitor began to emit a high-pitched beeping. Within a few minutes, the five friends found themselves shooed outside by a nurse and a doctor, come to see that their patient wasn't overtaxing himself. Kat followed outside and hugged each warmly.
"Thank you so much," she sighed, wiping at her moist eyes. "If you knew how much this means to both of us ..."
"I think we do, Kat," Adam answered seriously. He'd seen the same signs of relief and delight he was feeling himself in the others' eyes. "This wasn't easy on any of us, I know that now, even though I refused to see it until it was almost too late. Let's just be thankful it's all over, and we can put it behind us." He wasn't only talking about Jason's accident, and they all knew it.
"Not everything's over yet, Adam," the dancer smiled mistily, her eyes sweeping automatically down the floor to the room where Tommy had spent all of yesterday. She hadn't seen him since the moment he'd gone into Jason's room to give his blood to save his friend, and had learned from Kimberly earlier in the day that he'd left the hospital late on Saturday night, without saying goodbye to any of the Rangers. Kat desperately wanted – no, needed – to thank him, but was unsure about seeking Tommy out herself again. What if he refused to see her? He could have just donated his blood out of a sense of responsibility ...
*Oh, I hope I can see him,* Kat prayed fervently. *Just once, I'd like to thank him and apologize ... if he'll let me!*
However, the reconciliation she'd just witnessed gave her hope that she might yet get to talk to him, after all. It might take time, but thanks to Tommy's coming through for Jason, that was something they had once more. Shaking herself mentally, Kat returned to the present. She found that her friends had been able to follow her train of thought quite easily.
"Give it time, Kat," Tanya said gently, hugging her best friend. "Tommy probably needs to think this all through on his own. You know how he is. You'll get your chance to talk to him, I'm sure."
"Yeah," Zack agreed. "He's always stuck to a decision once he's made it, and saw it through, with all consequences. He saved Jason's life, after all, and he wouldn't have done that if there wasn't still something left of their friendship."
"At least I don't think he hates us anymore," Kat murmured, heartened by her friends' support. That last look she'd exchanged with her ex-boyfriend before he'd been whisked away by Dr. Jones had been serious and a little sad, now that she remembered. True, she'd been blinded by tears, but Kat could not recall the icy disdain she'd seen in the chocolate eyes earlier that day. It made her feel a little better. "Whatever else comes of this, we at least know Tommy cared enough not to let Jason die."
"Don't give up hope yet; maybe he'll be back to talk it all out before you know it. Tommy loved you very much, and Jason was very close to him right from the start; that's why he was hurt so deeply. But he has Kim back now, and I know that she at least wants things really back to the way they used to be." Trini's words brought a more genuine smile to Kat's face as she contemplated the truth in them.
"Trini's right, Kat," Adam said, smiling lightly. "Just look at us; if Jason and you can forgive Rocky and me, surely Tommy can forgive the two of you by now."
"That's different," the blonde protested, but before the six friends could get embroiled in a lengthy discussion, Katherine was called back into Jason's room by a nurse. Smiling apologetically, she took her leave, and the others went back home, promising to stay in touch.
~*~
Several days passed, during which Jason's recovery progressed slowly but steadily. Gradually the Scotts' life fell into a routine as Kat had to return to work, dividing her time between classes, daily hospital visits to Jason and spending time with her baby son. The nice weather held on, and she took the opportunity one afternoon about a week after the accident to take a walk in the park, slowly pushing the baby carriage along the pathways she knew so well. At last, she stopped for a break at a bench overlooking the lake, relaxing in the warm afternoon sun as her baby awoke from his nap, gurgling happily, waving his little fists energetically in the air until he noisily demanded his lunch.
Smiling, Kat fished a bottle of formula out of its insulating container in the diaper bag and picked up the sturdy little boy, settling him across her lap and started to feed him, humming a soft melody as she caressed the dark hair.
~*~
Tommy walked through the park as he had so often ever since he'd moved to Angel Grove all these years ago. The October sun was surprisingly warm, and a lot of people were out; but then, that was nothing new, really; the park had always been a popular place, monster attacks and all notwithstanding. He was lost in his thoughts and memories – of the times he and his friends had spent here playing, relaxing, fighting monsters, just hanging out .... and on balance, most of them had been good times. Scenes of his youth flashed through his mind ... his first kiss with Kim; getting captured by Goldar to lose his Green Ranger Powers, hiding from Bulk and Skull, meeting Rocky, Adam and Aisha, looking after the spaceship that had taken Billy to Aquitar, fighting as the White Ranger for the first time, Kat meeting the others after their near-disastrous first encounter ... consoling Jason as he'd lost the Gold Powers.
Jason. It was amazing, really, how many memories of his adolescence were entwined with images of his best friend. But then again, they'd connected with each other on a level that had defied description right from the start. He, the loner who had always kept others at bay for fear of getting hurt, and Jason, the popular one, with his circle of close friends, leader of the Power Rangers, who nevertheless didn't hesitate for an instant to draw him into his tight little group of friends, accepting him just as he was.
Jason had made him a part of that group, giving Tommy what he'd always wanted and needed – friends who would stand by him, no matter what. Of course, with their closeness inevitably had come hurt – friends leaving, moving on with their lives, seemingly leaving him behind; first Jason, Zack and Trini, then Kim, Aisha, Billy ... and yet, deep down, they all knew – had always known – that if the need was great, they'd be there for each other.
He'd missed that over the last year more than he'd admitted to himself; Tommy knew that those of 'the gang' still around had inadvertently chosen sides when Jason and Kat had hurt him by becoming involved. Maybe it had been inescapable, and some part of Tommy was gratified that most of them had supported him, but even through the pain and outrage, there had been a sense of ... wrongness ... about the situation – it just wasn't right that he and Jason were at odds, no matter what the reason. He was still a little bit angry about their betrayal, but as soon as he'd made the decision to save Jason's life, strangely enough his anger had begun to abate ... almost as if he'd finally taken the first steps on the road to forgiving Kat and Jason, and as if that was also the beginning of healing.
If Tommy was totally honest with himself, he'd have to admit that the process had started even earlier, that one night in New Orleans when he'd kissed Kim with an adult's passion for the first time, and only a phone call had prevented the same kind of thing that had happened to Jason and Kat. Lying on that hospital bed, watching his blood flow into Jason's veins, Tommy had known he wanted his friend back in his life. Maybe now that they were both healing, Jason physically and he himself emotionally, they could find a way back to what they once shared – together. As always. The way it should be.
*If only I could find a way to talk to Jason,* the young man mused as he meandered aimlessly along the paved pathways. *But I don't know the right words ... what can I say to him? How do I face him, after all that has happened? Yes, he hurt me, but so did I ... the things I said to him when I confronted him, I knew even then at some level that at least half of it just wasn't true. I beat him up like a common bully, and even though I could see he wanted to fight back, he never lifted a hand, taking everything I dished out without protest. Could I have done that if our situations had been reversed? I doubt it,* Tommy admitted silently as his feet took him where they would. Lost in his thoughts, he never noticed the petite woman dressed in a pink sweatsuit jogging along the beach.
Kimberly recognized her lover, and changed her path, smiling. Ever since Tommy had left the hospital, he'd been pensive, not saying much, and she cared enough to give him the time and space he obviously needed. However, it would be nice to revisit a few of the places they'd hung out at as teenagers. Slowing to an energetic walk, she followed Tommy at a distance, waiting for him to come out of his reverie.
*Can Jase forgive me for hitting him?*
The answer was simple, and unequivocal.
*Of course he can. Question is, can I forgive him? And Kat? A week ago, I would've said no, but today ... I think so. I'll have to, if I want him back as my friend. And if I know nothing else, I know I want that. But ... how do I manage that? And Kat ... the way I treated her when she begged me to save him ... I can't believe I was being so mean, letting her think even for an instant that I was going to let Jason die. Mom was right, that was downright cruel. The look in Kat's eyes ... I might as well have stabbed her in the heart. Man, I wish someone would help me out here!*
Without realizing it, lost in his thoughts, Tommy had wandered to the picnic area on top of the rise near the lake. The sight of a familiar blond head over a pink pullover almost made him turn back, but then he squared his shoulders. He'd run from Kat long enough. It was past time to face her, and maybe, just maybe this was the opportunity he'd been waiting for.
She didn't hear him over her humming as he stepped up to the bench she was sitting on; her head was bowed as if she was concentrating very intently on something she held in her lap. Looking over her shoulder, Tommy suddenly saw that it wasn't something, but someone – a very small someone with a shock of dark hair and bright, familiar dark eyes. The baby saw him appear and immediately turned his head towards him, expelling the nipple of his milk bottle as he did so. The wide grin showed two tiny white teeth in his lower gum, like an upside-down rabbit's, and Tommy couldn't help but grin back. Jason's son gurgled a greeting and waved a tiny fist, then made a determined grab for his lunch again. Kat's soft laughter was full of warmth and love, and something inside of Tommy clenched with renewed pain – she used to laugh for him that way. But he tamped it down – that part of their lives was over. Even were it not for the precious little being she cradled, he'd realized it by the look in her eyes when she'd learned that Jason had a chance to live, thanks to him. Right now, he had more than enough to deal with the surprise and wariness he could read in the blue orbs as she turned to look up at him.
"Hey, Kat," he said quietly.
"Tommy – what are you doing here?!"
"Taking a walk," he replied, rounding the bench and sinking down next to her. "Thinking."
"Oh?" she said, shifting the baby in her arms as he noisily finished off his bottle. "About anything ... special?"
Tommy disliked hearing the caution in her subdued tones, but knew it was probably inevitable. He'd been anything but cordial the last time they had talked. Choosing to ignore that for the time being, he picked up the diaper bag as he saw Kat awkwardly reaching for it. She smiled her thanks, a bit tentatively, and extracted a cloth diaper, draped it over her shoulder and lifting her son up waited for the baby boy to burp. When he did so, the noise emitting from that tiny but sturdy body was so loud, the two adults broke into startled laughter. It dispelled part of the tension between them, and they were rewarded with another big, infectious grin from the baby.
"He's beautiful," Tommy said, meaning it. Already, at seven months, he could see Jason's easy charm in the sparkling dark eyes which were trained on him now with a tiny frown.
"Thank you," Kat answered softly, her motherly pride unmistakeable. "He's worth everything."
"I can see why." And he could; looking into the baby's face, Tommy knew that this child was very much loved. Briefly, he wondered if Kat would've held his child like she was holding Jason's son, but immediately dismissed the thought as unworthy. Of course she would ... only, he'd never given her the chance, he knew that now. He'd been too involved with himself, in his career, in winning races to consider Kat's wishes. He hadn't intentionally neglected her, but with the clarity of hindsight Tommy knew that however unconsciously, Kat had been ready for a family, to settle down – and he hadn't been. Still wasn't, to tell the truth, his renewed relationship with Kimberly notwithstanding. Not that he didn't want a family of his own one day, but that was in his future – he still had places to go, things to do, sights to see. As did Kim. Kat and Jason had found their places in life with each other, and Tommy suddenly hoped that out of the ashes of their former relationship, through all of the hurt and pain, they could build something new together, something that would allow them to share friendship again.
A moist little hand thrust into his long hair brought Tommy out of his reverie. Surprised, he jerked his head back, and was startled by Kat's amused giggle. "Sorry, he does that sometimes," she apologized. Tommy grinned his understanding as he saw her tuck a strand of pale-gold hair behind her ear, out of harm's way. The baby squealed infectiously, bouncing up and down on Kat's knees. The young man instinctively reached out with a finger to the boy and found it grabbed in a surprisingly strong little fist.
"Whoa!" he laughed as he found his finger being drawn to the tiny mouth. "You just had lunch, tiger!" He tried to pull back, but the baby began to squirm in his mother's arms, following his hand. "What's he trying to do?"
"I think he wants you to hold him," Kat smiled indulgently, spontaneously placing the warm little body onto Tommy's lap. Startled, the young man held him up the way Kat had shown him with little Joey all those years ago, and felt him settle against his shoulder, trustingly resting his head so he could look at him. Smiling contentedly, the little boy shoved a fist into his mouth. Sucking noisily for a few moments, the large eyes slowly drifted closed, and Tommy felt the sturdy body go limp and heavy in sleep against his chest. Hardly daring to breathe, he waited a while, then Kat gently took her son back from him and tucked him into the baby carriage, lightly covering him with a soft cotton blanket.
Not really knowing what to say, Tommy smoothed a hand over the thatch of hair that promised to be as thick and dark as Jason's, then blurted out the first thing that came to his mind, barely remembering to keep his voice down.
"What's his name? I don't think you ever said ...."
"I haven't," Kat admitted. To Tommy's surprise, she blushed slightly. "It's Robin, after my father."
"Oh yeah, his name's Robert, right?"
"Yes – we didn't want him to be called Bob, or Bobby, so Robin was the next best choice."
"Robin Scott ... sounds good. What did you do for a second name?" It was a logical question, since Robin was a non-gender-specific name, but to Tommy's surprise, Kat's blush intensified. She met his eyes unflinchingly, however, as she dropped a small bombshell onto him.
"It's .... it's Thomas. His full name is Robin Thomas Scott."
Tommy's slight shock was unmistakeable, and Kat smiled a bit wistfully. "It was Jason's wish. He said he wanted to keep at least one promise he'd made to you, and I ... I wanted it, too. That way, we could keep at least a part of you with us."
Kat spoke quietly, with no trace of accusation in her voice, just a tinge of sadness, and it brought a lump to Tommy's throat as he looked away from those deep blue eyes. He knew exactly what promise she was referring to; on a long-ago weekend that he and Jason had spent together camping in the mountains, they had promised each other several things in their youthful idealism, one of which was to name their firstborn son after the other – and to stand godfather to them if it should ever come to pass. Briefly, Tommy wondered who had taken his place, and at the small hurt the thought caused.
Both former lovers were silent after that, lost in their thoughts ... thinking about their separation and the cause for it. Tommy and Kat were very much aware that, aside from Kat's desperate plea for Jason's life, they hadn't spoken to each other since her confession all these long months ago. Both had shied away from bringing it up but there it was, out in the open between them; the question was, what were they going to do now? Tommy instinctively called on his martial arts discipline to still his thundering heartbeat. It wouldn't do to go off half-cocked at the mouth now. Something that had nagged at him ever since Kat had admitted to him about being intimate with Jason that first time and he'd calmed down enough not to fly into a rage at the thought suddenly would no longer stay silent. Drawing a deep breath, Tommy turned to look at his ex-girlfriend once more and asked the one question he'd never found an answer for.
"What happened between us, Kat? What did I do, or didn't do, that made you turn to Jase? You're both not the type to deliberately hurt a friend, and I've always wondered ...."
"Oh Tommy," the young woman sighed. "I wish I knew. I've asked myself that same question a thousand times, and have only found parts of the answer."
"Then share them with me. Kat, please, I need to know – it's been driving me crazy ever since you told me ... what was wrong with me that you went into Jason's arms .."
"It wasn't like that, Tommy," she said immediately. "It's not that something was wrong with you – it was just how things turned out." Collecting her thoughts with an effort, Kat fussed a bit with Robin's blanket, then faced her former lover again. "I'll try to explain, but I'm not really sure I can."
"Any explanation is better than none. I ... I wasn't ready to hear one before, but I think I am now." The look in the brown eyes was sincere and open, and Kat had to smile. This was the Tommy she had known and loved, not the cold, hurt and angry man she had seen last. It had always been easy to talk to him, and she tried to do it again.
"Tommy ... I was hurt when you stood me up; not just that one last time, but all the other times, too. I tried to tell myself I wasn't, to accept the demands your racing made on you, but deep down, I was beginning to feel as if being with your crew was more important to you than being with me." She smiled a little to take the sting out of her voice. "Please, don't take this as an accusation or anything; the time for that is long past, and I've lost the right to make them, anyway." Before Tommy could react to this, the blonde went on. "I know rationally that it probably wasn't like that, at least not always, but that's how I felt at the time. Jason ... he was a friend, a good friend, and ... well, whenever he was with me, it seemed as if I was the most important person in his life. I ... I needed that, Tommy. I was lonely without you, and Jason made me feel wanted, and ... and appreciated, I guess."
"I'm sorry," Tommy replied, knowing that there was a lot of truth in Kat's words. "I never meant to neglect you, and I'm ashamed to admit that sometimes, I took the easy way out in calling Jase to substitute for me, but I loved you. Always."
"I know," Kat acknowledged ruefully. "Somehow, I never doubted that. Still, over time it became very easy to be with Jason. He ... he has this way of making someone feel good about oneself ... but I guess you know all that, don't you?"
"Yeah. He's the best – the best friend I ever could've wished for. That's why it hurt so much when you told me ..." his voice trailed off as he watched the guilty blush spread over the young woman's cheeks. Kat looked away for long minutes, before she was able to face him again.
"Tommy ... I'll never forgive myself for hurting you like that, but ... if that situation had gone on much longer, I might have turned to Jason anyway. Or at least tried to salvage our relationship, set you an ultimatum of sorts before I got involved with him. That night, when we kissed ... it felt right, or I would've stopped things there and then, I'm sure of that much. I couldn't see it before, but now ... when I had to face the fact that I might lose him ..." She looked away once more; this part of her confession wasn't easy to make, and the realization had almost cost too much, but the long hours of silent vigil next to a comatose Jason had not been completely fruitless. Tommy saw the tears gathering in her eyes. He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and waited until Kat had composed herself.
"You really love him, don't you?" he asked calmly as the blue eyes lifted hesitantly to his again.
"Yes." Kat smiled mistily. "I didn't mean to fall in love with him, and it happened without me realizing it, but Jason's become my life. I fought it as long as I could, but ... I can't imagine going on without him."
The young man pondered the quiet statement for a while. He knew it was the complete truth, and strangely enough, it brought only a small twinge of pain, but a deeper feeling of ... acceptance, was the closest he could come to describing what he felt. Another thought occurred to him. Tommy wasn't sure he wanted an answer, but something made him ask anyway.
"Why Jason, Kat? I mean, I know he's a great guy, and I suppose you girls think he's good-looking, too, but ... why him?"
"Why him and not you, you mean?" Kat dared to tease gently, feeling more confident in the face of Tommy's willingness to really listen. She chuckled lightly at the betraying rush of color flooding Tommy's cheeks. "Hmmm ..... that's a bit difficult to explain. Let me put it this way ... when I was with you, it was ... was like sitting at an open campfire in the mountains, something a bit ... untamed, I guess, wildly romantic, a bit dangerous, but warm and protected nonetheless. Jason ... Jason is an open fireplace; the flame is just as warm, just as nurturing, also with a hint of potential danger, but ... contained. There's a different kind of romance, too."
Tommy nodded; while the fanciful comparison was unusual, it summed up the differences in his and Jason's personalities pretty well. "I can see that. But ..." As if she hadn’t heard him, Kat went on.
"I loved being at that campfire, Tommy; there are moments when I still want it, and I guess a part of me always will. Jason knows, and accepts that." Kat drew a deep breath. Her self-knowledge had come at a price that was almost too high, but she would not shy away from the truth anymore. "I may want the campfire, Tommy, but the fireplace is what I need. I almost had to lose Jason to realize that, and I think that's the main reason I turned to him last year. Unconsciously, I must have known even then; I don't know, and it doesn't matter anymore. It's done, and Jason's too much a part of my life now to ever give him up."
"I could have been your fireplace," Tommy said somewhat wistfully as Kat's words sank in.
"I know; I never thought you couldn't," Kat soothed, relieved that her former lover seemed to understand. "But Tommy, are you ready to be one?"
"I .... no. No, not yet." It was hard to face that truth, but necessary. He met the sapphire eyes somewhat shamefacedly. "If ... if we were still together, I couldn't give you that ... not for some time, anyway."
Katherine searched Tommy's eyes. Finding only sincerity beneath the discomfiture, she smiled gently and touched his arm in a gesture that had once been natural and familiar.
"It's okay, Tommy. There's nothing wrong about that; it just means we expect different things from life right now. I've found my haven, and I'm happy. Or I will be, if you could find it within you to forgive us. Do you think you can?" she dared ask, encouraged by their exchange. "I only wish there was a way I could tell you how truly sorry we are to have hurt you ..."
"I know you are, and yes, I can," the young man replied, realizing deep in his soul that it was true. It was what he wanted – no, what he had to do if they all were to find peace at last. If Jason could forgive Rocky and Adam for choosing sides against him and Kat ... Adam's phonecall yesterday had been full of relief and gratitude, and truthfully, Tommy couldn't blame his former teammate. The past year, and living with a rift in their once-inseparable group, hadn't been easy on any one of them. At long last, Tommy could see and acknowledge that. Yes, he'd been the wronged party, but things shouldn't have gotten that far. A small rush of shame went through him, but it disappeared almost as soon as it had come – the time for it was past, and it would serve nothing and nobody to place fresh blame.
"Th-thank you," Kat whispered into his thoughts, and Tommy looked up to see her sapphire eyes brim over with tears. Her cheeks had gone pale with emotion and her lips quivered as the first crystal drop coursed down. Instinctively, Tommy reached out and wiped it away with his thumb. The gesture was perfectly natural, and brought a tremulous smile to Kat's face.
It had been slightly painful to talk to the blonde dancer, to hear it confirmed that she'd come to love Jason, but Tommy admitted to himself that it felt infinitely right to be sitting here with her, just talking ... almost like during the time before his and Kim's breakup, when he'd used to talk to Kat about their shared experiences as Rita Repulsa's evil pawns. Helping her overcome her guilt – as Jason had helped him way back when in what now seemed like another lifetime – had once laid the foundation for their friendship, and Tommy found himself wishing to have it back, almost as much as he wanted Jason's.
Slowly, Tommy felt a weight he'd been carrying around for over a year melt and slough off his mind as he sat next to Kat, watching her fiddle a little with her baby's things, meeting her timid sideways glance. He smiled, and reached out again to capture a slender hand in is own.
"It's okay, Kat," he said warmly, squeezing the fingers lying once more so trustingly in his palm.
"Is it? Really?"
"Yes," Tommy said, exhaling slowly. "I wish this didn't sound so pompous, but I do forgive you – both of you. Getting back together with Kim ... do you know about that?" he interrupted himself. Whatever else might happen between them from now on, he didn't want to hurt his ex-girlfriend. There'd been enough of that for all of them, and if Kat didn't know, Tommy wanted to tell her about his resumed relationship with Kimberly as gently as possible.
"Yes," Kat smiled back somewhat damply, taking a load off Tommy's mind. "Kim told me when she drove me to the hospital on Friday. I'm very happy for you." Despite herself, she sniffled. At Tommy's slightly alarmed look, her smile grew as she wiped away a last, lone teardrop. "Don't mind me; I'm feeling rather sentimental these days. I really am glad, for you and Kim. You deserve to be happy with each other."
"Oh. Thanks. Well ... uh ... anyway, when Kim and I got back together this summer, something happened that made me understand, sort of, what you were trying to tell me last year, about how you and Jase happened," he fumbled, hoping his pretty companion wouldn't ask exactly what had happened. Tommy wasn't prepared to explain that quite yet, and to his relief he could see that Katherine would not pressure him for details, although he could read the curiosity in her blue eyes. But then, Kat had always been that way, he remembered now, able to read his moods and considerate of his feelings. He'd just chosen to forget that in his justifiable anger.
The baby chose that moment to start fussing in his carriage, on the verge of waking up, and Kat reluctantly rose from the bench. She would've liked to pursue this conversation with her ex-boyfriend, but if Robin should start crying ... "I need to walk a bit to calm him down," she said in a half-whisper. "Would you like to come with me for a while?"
"Sure."
Grateful to have a physical outlet for his pent-up energies, Tommy helped Kat stow the diaper bag and secure it to the pram. Slowly, the two former Rangers began to walk down the paved paths, lost in their thoughts. Unbeknownst to them, they were followed at a distance by a petite brunette in a pink sweatsuit. She was smiling to herself as she watched her friends talk at long last.
~*~
The two ex-lovers wandered slowly through the park, their conversation a bit stilted at first now that the most important things had been said, but a chance remark of "Do you remember when ..." by Kat soon set them at ease. They found common ground in memories of their teen years which seemingly lurked behind every bush or tree, and within a short time, they were laughing easily together, pushing whatever was still painful between them to the far edges of their consciousness. Both Tommy and Kat were aware that it would take time to regain their former ease with each other ... or rather, to build something new and enduring, something different from what they'd shared before on the foundations of their friendship they were rediscovering.
Since it was late in the year, the sun started to sink early behind the distant mountains, shadows lengthened and the lake briefly flamed with brilliant colors, even though it was barely five o'clock.
"I have to go," Katherine sighed, shivering as a cool gust of win rustled the leaves of the trees overhead. She was loathe to give up Tommy's companionship, now that they were talking again, but she definitely didn't want to get sick – or make her baby catch cold. Robin had been allright with his lightweight covering as long as the sun was shining, but now ...
"It's getting too cool for Robin," she explained at her friend's questioning glance, tucking the blanket more closely around the limply sleeping little body.
"Uh huh," Tommy agreed, wondering at how disappointed he felt. To his astonishment, he'd truly enjoyed talking to Kat as freely and uninhibitedly as early in their acquaintance. It made him even more sure that forgiving her and Jason was the right thing, the only thing to do. He watched as she slipped on a light jacket, then turned towards him. Her blonde hair was slightly windblown, her porcelain cheeks delicately tinted from the sun and her obvious relief, and the blue eyes, so desolate and empty the last time he'd looked into them once more sparkled with joy and warmth. For an instant, Kat seemed to Tommy as beautiful as he'd ever seen her.
"Kat, I ..." He couldn't go on, couldn't find words for what was going through his mind. All the friendship, love, pain and anger that had been between them vied for dominance, with neither emotion winning – or losing, or so it seemed. The Australian continued to look at him, slightly puzzled now, but trusting and open. They were so close, suddenly so in tune with each other as they'd been when they first fell in love, that Tommy couldn't help himself. Shaking himself in momentary disbelief, Tommy nevertheless reached out and drew Kat into his arms. She didn't resist.
Their mouths met, gently at first, then the kiss deepened. It was a seeking, a questioning, that had to be done, and both participated equally until the moment played itself out. Sensations rose, peaked and ebbed, and as the impulse faded, both separated with a familiar, lingering caress that was soothing and good. Slowly, Kat's crystal eyes opened and fastened on chocolate-brown orbs.
Tommy smiled, a little wistfully.
"It really is over, isn't it?"
While Kat had responded fully and unhesitatingly to his kiss, there had been no spark, no acceleration of heartbeats ... but in its place had been a quiet, steady glow that warmed and comforted, but didn't ignite.
"Yes." Katherine laid her cheek briefly against Tommy's, hugged him to show she wasn't angry that he'd taken the liberty, then gently disentangled herself from his embrace. Her eyes never left his face as she smiled back at him. "Can you understand that, under the circumstances, I'm glad?"
"Yeah," the tall young man conceded. "Strange as it sounds, if it wasn't ... God, what a mess we'd be in!"
"I don't even want to think about it!" Kat shuddered. Once had been more than enough to last her a lifetime. Following her thoughts as easily as if he'd been telepathic, Tommy caught a slender hand and raised it to his lips. The blonde opened her mouth and started to express her gratitude for saving Jason's life, for forgiving them, but her companion stopped her with a single look. Kissing the back of her fingers gently, he forestalled any further protestations.
"Don't. As my family pointed out to me so rightly, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I had done nothing. And as for forgiving you ... I'm doing this as much for myself as for you." He smiled at Kat's questioning gaze; there was one sure way to convince her, and he took it without hesitation. It was more than time.
"Tell Jase I'll be in to see him soon, will you?" he requested.
"Of course," she agreed immediately, her eyes misting over with joy and relief. "Oh Tommy, it'll mean so much to him ..."
"I know," the erstwhile Zeo Ranger Five replied quietly. "To me, too."
There was nothing more that could be said between the two former lovers, so Kat took her leave, her step light and graceful as she pushed the baby carriage with her still-sleeping baby towards the parking lot. Just before she walked over the small rise, she turned once more and waved back to where Tommy was watching her.
"Goodbye, Tommy," wafted across the distance towards him.
"Goodbye, Kat," he murmured softly as he watched the woman he'd once loved disappear from view. Lost in his thoughts, he only came back to his surroundings as a slight, short person tucked herself under his arm. Startled, he looked down into gentle doe-brown eyes.
"Did it hurt a lot?" Kimberly asked her lover with an understanding smile, letting him know without words that she'd seen his leave-taking of Katherine, and understood and accepted. Tommy didn't question her knowledge.
"A little," he admitted finally, because there had been an element of sadness and loss in their kiss. "But I guess watching someone walk out of one's life always hurts."
"It should, if there's been genuine emotion involved," Kim agreed. "And you did love Kat – a lot. But look at it this way – Kat-your-lover may have finally left you, but in exchange you've regained Kat-your-friend."
"I know." The thought seemed to cheer Tommy only marginally, but Kimberly had learned to be patient. Sometimes, Tommy needed time alone to work through everything and come to terms with everything he was feeling. It would be worth the wait. Besides, there was something else the big lug seemed to be forgetting.
"You'll also regain your best friend," she reminded Tommy tenderly, touching his cheek so he would look at her. "By letting Kat go in all ways, you'll get Jason back. If you want to."
"Jason ..." He sighed, knowing that seeing his friend the next day was going to be an emotionally draining experience. If only he were already past those first moments! It would be so awkward, apologizing and fnding the right words ... But Tommy squared his shoulders almost immediately. It would be worth it, and more than that, if they could eventually recapture their former closeness. Meeting Kat today had been as difficult, if not more so, and yet so rewarding; Tommy refused to believe that seeing the one-time Gold Ranger again would be terrible in any way. Not easy, no, but ...
"Jase forgave you trying to kill all of us once," Kim whispered. "You just forgave Kat, or I'd be very much mistaken. Surely you can forgive Jason as well ..."
"I already have," Tommy said, filling his lungs deeply with the now-crisp fall air. "And I do want him back as my friend." Suddenly he felt more alive than in a long, long time. He hugged Kimberly to himself, then, on a impulse he grabbed the petite woman around her waist and swung her high. Surprised, she squealed as much as she'd ever done as a teenager.
"Tommy!"
"You're very good for me, you know that?" he asked huskily as he slowly lowered Kim to the ground and pulled her close.
"But of course," she answered saucily, glad to see the spark back in the brown eyes. It had been absent too long, and she'd missed the exuberance teenaged Tommy had had, when they'd first started dating in High School. How she'd loved that lighthearted side of him – a side he'd only ever displayed to his closest friends, to people he loved and trusted. Kim grinned at his mock pout, feeling giddy with relief. Everything would be okay now, she felt it to the core. Standing on tiptoe, she tangled her fingers in his long locks. "That's because I love you." Kim drew Tommy's head down to hers.
Just before their lips met, he smiled the smile that had first captured her heart at the lockers so long ago.
"I love you, too, Kimberly Hart. My heart."
As the two kissed, the last rays of the setting sun made the still waters of the lake flare in brilliant shades of red, pink and gold, but they didn't see. For Kim and Tommy, only the now counted; tomorrow would take care of itself for once.
~*~
A nurse's helper was just removing the dinner tray from Jason's bedside table when Kat entered the softly-lit room. She waited at the foot of his bed while the young woman restored order, lifted the top half of the bed so Jason was in a half-sitting position, and adjusted the sandbags immobilizing his head to make it easier for the couple to talk. Finally, with a smile and a cheery 'good-night', the hospital employee left.
Kat moved to her husband's side and greeted him with a loving kiss.
"Hi."
Jason responded as much as he was able – which was far less than he liked. He was still damnably weak and achy all over, which he hated. All he showed Kat of his frustration, however, was a rueful grimace that she smoothed away with a gentle touch and smile.
"Hi yourself. Did you have a good afternoon? How's Junior?" They had talked on the phone around noon, when Kat had come home from work and told him she wanted to take advantage of the lovely fall weather and take the baby out for a stroll.
"Robin's fine," she smiled. "I think he may be getting another tooth, he's drooling a bit more than usual, but other than that he's doing great. Your folks adore caring for him, especially your dad. He's already dusting off your old electric toy train." Both young parents grinned at the over-enthusiastic grandfather's eagerness. "I really miss having him around all day, though."
"Me, too," Jason sighed wistfully. "I bet he's changing so much every day, and I'm stuck here and can't even see him ..."
"It's only for three more weeks, love," Kat tried to console, but she knew she'd be even worse if it were her lying here. They both loved their small son very much, but hospital policy didn't allow children under a school age to visit at all; it posed a number of problems that nobody wanted to deal with. Accepting the inevitable with another sigh and some glowering, Jason then touched his wife's cheek gently.
"So what else is new? You're looking very happy today ... has something happened?"
Kat laughed even as she blushed slightly. She hadn't realized Jason could read her this well.
"Actually, yes. Oh Jason, when I was in the park, Tommy came past by chance, and he stopped and talked to me!!"
For an instant, Jason's heartbeat picked up speed as his own eyes began to glow with hope.
"I take it he wasn't so angry anymore?" he asked, his deep voice slightly hoarse with suppressed excitement. By now he knew that it had indeed been Tommy who had donated the blood needed to save him, and Tanya and Trini had filled him in on what Kat had done, based on Kimberly's report of the encounter at the Olivers' house last Friday. Jason had thought he'd burst with love and pride to hear how she'd begged for him, not counting how much it cost her in terms of courage and loss of dignity. But if her encounter with Tommy today meant that the former Red Ranger was willing to talk to Kat, then maybe, just maybe there was a chance that he'd also be willing to talk to him, Jason, again ...
Kat's still-slightly accented voice stopped her husband's train of thought.
"No, he wasn't. As a matter of fact, he told me he's ready and willing to forget and forgive. Oh Jason, I ..." she choked up, momentarily overcome with emotion. "He asked me to tell you he'll be by soon; maybe even tomorrow. Isn't that wonderful? I never dared hope ..."
"Yeah. Me neither," Jason admitted, his heart soaring. He saw how Kat had to fight her tears, and he let his own guard drop, showing her just how much the message meant to him. "I know exactly how you feel, Kitten. Believe me, I do," he murmured just as emotionally. No further words were necessary between them; it was far more than the fulfillment of a cherished dream for both. Their hands found each other and clung. The two took a minute to collect themselves, then Jason looked more closely at his wife's lovely features. There was a certain look in her eyes ...
"There's more, isn't there? Kat?"
Her blush reappeared, staining her creamy skin a deep scarlet, but she met Jason's questioning gaze unflinchingly. Holding tightly to his warm, strong fingers, she said what she felt she had to.
"Yes. When we said good-bye, just as I was about to leave ... Tommy kissed me."
The midnight eyes widened slightly, but never wavered from their sapphire counterparts. Not letting any of his sudden tension show, Jason asked as calmly as he could, "And?"
The single word contained a world of questions, which Kat didn't seem to notice. She thought for a few seconds before she gave an answer ... and then it was not quite what he'd expected.
"It was ... nice."
"Nice? I don't understand," Jason admitted, puzzled. It sounded harmless enough, but was it really? "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that it was nice," Kat repeated, a slight, reminiscent smile playing around her mouth. She didn't look at her husband, so was unaware of the pained expression fleetingly crossing the handsome face, but when she no longer averted her eyes, the look in them was open and honest.
"It felt good to kiss Tommy," she continued softly. "There was warmth, and tenderness, and affection ... and even love." This time, Kat sensed the involuntary stiffening in Jason, as if he was preparing himself to ward off a blow, and lifted the hand she still held to her face, cupping it around her cheek.
"I felt all of that ... and at the same time, I felt nothing at all. Or nothing more, in any case. There was no spark, no passion, no sense of being safe and secure ... none of the things I feel when you kiss me," Kat whispered, pressing her soft lips into the calloused palm. "Jason, I'm not apologizing for letting Tommy kiss me, and kissing him back; I think in a way, I needed to do it. We both did – if only to know, really know, deep down where it counts, that there's nothing left except the memory of what we once shared, and the friendship we can still have. Can you accept that, Jason? Tommy was my first love, after all; he meant a lot to me for a very long time, and there were a lot of good things between us. I don't want to lose those memories. Not now, when I can finally remember them with a clear conscience and go on from there."
"Of course I can," Jason replied, relaxing back into his pillows. He gently ran his fingers down a petal-soft cheek. "It's just ... for a second, I was afraid that ...." He blushed, embarrassed.
"That I'd leave you and go back to Tommy?" Kat queried. At his almost imperceptible nod, she sighed. "I guess I can't blame you for suspecting that, given my recent idiocy. But you needn't have feared, love. You've come to mean as much, if not more, to me as Tommy ever has. Nearly losing you has taught me that. I love you, and I want nobody else. Ever."
"I'm sorry. I knew that, and I should've trusted you more. If I had stopped to think for a second, I would have. I hope. But ..." Jason's deep voice trailed off, and he grinned shamefacedly. "Forgive me, Kitten. Please?"
"Of course." The young woman smiled at her husband. "Besides, it was only a kiss."
There was a moment of silence, then Jason reached for Kat's hand once more.
"We – as in a couple – started with just a kiss," he reminded her softly.
"Yes. And today, Tommy and I, as a couple, ended with one. At last, and in a good way."
Jason looked deeply into the blue eyes, which met his own openly and honestly. The sincerity in Kat's steady gaze and her voice was unmistakeable, and he let it fill him until only love, and trust, remained.
"If that's so ... and I believe you that it is ... I'd say it's appropriate."
"Yes."
Both shared a smile, and lapsed into a peaceful silence, that stayed with both of them long after they'd separated for the night.
~*~
Tommy stood in the ward hallway in front of the white-lacquered door bearing the number 26, trying to screw up his courage to actually walk inside and face the man lying behind it.
*Get on with it!* he berated himself. *This is Jason; the best friend you ever had. If you want him back, you'll have to face him eventually. Besides, it's not as if he could just come to you ... he can't, for the simple reason that he's been badly hurt and will have to lie here for another two weeks, if what Kat told you is true.*
The private pep talk didn't help. Tommy could still feel the batallion of butterflies in his stomach doing strafing runs at the very thought of opening that door. His palms were clammy, and there was a slightly sour taste in his mouth that he reluctantly identified as fear.
*What are you afraid of?* his inner voice asked. *You were the wronged party; if anything, it should be Jason who ought to be reluctant to see you again.*
Only, it didn't quite work that way. Closing his eyes and breathing deeply, Tommy tried everything he could to calm himself down. When nothing worked, no matter how hard he tried, he sighed and gave up. So he was nervous. Big deal; he was entitled, wasn't he?
*If only I knew what to say to him!*
And that was the crux of the problem. Tommy had no idea how to re-open the lines of communication between him and his best friend. Should he say 'good morning', or a simple 'hey', or something else entirely? He just didn't know, after their last bitter encounter and such a long time. However, while he was still searching for the right words – any words – he remembered how easily he had been able to talk to Kat the day before. If he could do it once, surely he could do it again? After all, he and Jason had never had a problem communicating before; often words had been all but unnecessary – a smile, a touch had expressed everything they'd needed to say. The thought was comforting. As was the novel idea that suddenly popped into the young man's mind.
*Maybe Jase is as nervous about this as I am! He probably has no idea if I'm still mad at him or not .... and most likely, he won't know what to say to me, either!*
Feeling strangely heartened, he knew the time for procrastination had passed. If he ever wanted to reconcile with Jason, he had to walk through this last barrier between them. Decision made, Tommy put his hand on the door knob, swallowed hard and opened the door.
~*~
Jason lay in his bed waiting for something to happen, someone to come, something whatever to break the boredom and monotony of his healing. Knowing that it would take a certain amount of time, and that he was making steady progress didn't help much, though. Clicking the remote, he switched channels again. There was only so much sports he could take, and after over a week of nothing to do but watch TV, even unlimited football began to pale. The History Channel provided some vaguely intriguing distraction during daytime hours, but anything else ... mostly, he just lay here waiting for the daily visits from Kat and his parents. When they had the time, Rocky and even Bulk or Skull dropped by, but they were working their jobs; naturally, what time they could spend with him was limited.
The injured man cursed softly under his breath. He wished he could at least read, but since he was stuck flat on his back for the time being, it was just too exhausting to hold up a book at an angle he could see for any length of time. Ergo, TV was the only option left to him to pass the long hours between sleep, examinations, and the coming of his visitors. Soon, Dr Jones had told him, he'd be able to start light therapy, but until then ... the slight creaking of the door hinges startled him out of his funk. Jason's eyes turned towards the door, and everything seemed to come to a crashing halt.
"Tommy," he whispered hoarsely after what seemed like an eternity of silence. Kat had told him his friend wanted to come see him; he'd believed her, had hoped and prayed for it, but it only became real now that Tommy actually walked into his hospital room, letting the door behind him fall into the lock with a muted 'snick'.
Tommy stopped right at the door, staring at Jason whose dark hair contrasted sharply against the pastel-striped pillow, but his normally tanned face was pale, with still-visible bruises and a few small cuts standing out in angry scarlet relief on his cheek, chin and forehead. Bandages were visible through the hospital gown's neck opening, his left leg was elevated and sandbags immobilized Jason's head. A thin plastic line went from a needle in his left elbow to an IV bag hanging from a metal stand, and for a second, Tommy's mind flashed back to when it hadn't been a clear, yellowish liquid but his own, rich dark blood flowing into Jason, giving him back his life. The warmth filling Tommy at that thought was the same that had filled him that night, when he knew his bitterness was slowly being swept away with every drop of blood leaving his own body. It enabled him to speak without having his voice break.
"Hey, Bro."
It was the most natural thing in the world to say, suddenly, and Tommy relaxed marginally.
Jason felt some of his own tension ebb at the familiar greeting, and some color returned to his face. Their eyes met and held.
"Hey, yourself," he murmured, at a loss of what to say next. Beg for forgiveness? Blurt out an apology? Thank his friend for coming through for him despite everything? Or just invite Tommy to sit? He simply didn't know, and that hurt. They'd always been so close, had been able to talk easily about anything and everything under the sun ... his thoughts were interrupted by a question from Tommy.
"How do you feel?" the former Red Zeo Ranger asked, kicking himself mentally for the inaneness. He hadn't come to make small talk with Jason! However, he was surprised by Jason's answer.
"I don't know," his ex-teammate said oh-so-seriously. He could not bring himself to utter the same flippant answer he'd given Rocky; this was much too important. Instead, he settled for the absolute truth. "Physically, better than a week ago, but pretty lousy still. Mentally ..." Jason attempted to shake his head, winced at the pain shooting through his skull from the fracture, and grimaced. He tried again. "I feel ... good. And bad. A little giddy, nervous now that you're here."
Tommy nodded, being all-too-familiar with the mixture. After all, he felt exactly the same. He let a small smile, showing his understanding, play around his lips as he continued to look into the dark brown eyes, so similar to and yet so different from his own. Before he could comment, though, Jason's next statement rocked him to the core.
"If you want to know the truth, I'm scared shitless."
Of all the Rangers, only Jason would have the courage to make such a bald admission.
"Scared?" Tommy repeated, incredulous. He had expected anything else, but not that. "What in the world are you afraid of?"
If it had been possible, the pale face on the pillow would've lost even more color than earlier. Instinctively, Tommy walked away from the door to stop at the foot of the bed. Jason still held him in his steady gaze.
"I'm scared to death that I'll do something, say something that will drive you away again," he confessed, the deep voice even lower than usual, and very soft. "I've wanted so much to talk to you these past months, about so many things ... but knew I had messed that up myself ....then, when I realized it had to have been you who'd donated blood, saving my life, I ..." he couldn't go on, choking slightly. For an instant, Jason had to glance away to regain control. Then, he met Tommy's eyes once more. The dark orbs were moist, and shining with a welter of emotions. Neither man could find anything to say for a long moment.
"Thank you," Jason murmured after a while. Tommy just shrugged; saving Jason's life had been something he'd had to do; it didn't require thanks. Not between them. Both young men fell silent again, then Jason looked squarely at Tommy.
"I'm sorry," he said simply.
"Yeah," Tommy replied, another small smile twitching around his mouth. The apology was no less sincere, he knew, for all its brevity. "So'm I."
Jason was taken aback momentarily. Tommy was apologizing to him?
"Whatever for? I wronged you; no matter what happened afterwards, but ..." The racer wouldn't let him continue.
"Yes. But ... I shouldn't have hit you."
"I deserved it!"
"Maybe. Still, I'm sorry."
"Okay."
Both looked at each other consideringly. Things passed between them that were too profound for words, but their eyes said it all. Could it really be this simple? A year's worth of explanations, apologies, pain and acceptance was packed into that silent exchange, until both unconsciously relaxed. Yes, it could. The silence was close to becoming oppressive, when Tommy opened his mouth. So did Jason.
"II missedmissed youyou."
They had to laugh at that simultaneous confession. Tommy walked up to the side of the bed, probing Jason's dark eyes once more, before slowly reaching out with his right hand. It was met almost instantaneously by Jason's. As their fingers closed around each other, both were momentarily transported back over nearly ten years to a rocky stretch on Angel Grove Beach; Jason had been
wearing red, Tommy green ... and they'd become friends almost as soon as their hands had touched. When they'd last met, bitter words had been exchanged, accusations made, but all that faded before the realization that through whatever miracle, the core of their friendship had survived. It had not been destroyed, as they'd both believed, but merely been buried under anger and guilt. Now, it burrowed up into the light again, as bright and solid as before.
Magic could indeed strike twice ... and just like that, a shadow lifted from both men's souls and fled the room, never to return.
~*~
"Well, here we are," Kat said brightly as she unlocked the door to their apartment. Holding it wide open so Jason could pass her, she watched his somewhat labored movements with concerned eyes. He'd only been released from Angel Grove Memorial an hour ago, after four long weeks of recuperating and slow progress. Normally, Jason should've been able to come home much earlier, but his skull fracture had prevented that – only now was he able to use a neck brace instead of lying immobilized – and his dislocated shoulder and broken ribs had been unable to support him on the crutches he still needed to use to relieve strain on his injured leg.
The convalescent made his way slowly into the living room while Kat carried his small suitcase into the bedroom to unpack. Stopping in the middle of the living room, he looked around and sighed with contentment. Halloween had come and gone while he'd been laid up, and Thanksgiving was right around the corner; Kat had caught the season's atmosphere perfectly by decorating the room with bowls of potpourri, colorful autumn leaves arranged in vases and pots around the room, and a large basket of fresh fruit. The red apples, green pears, yellow bananas and deep purple grapes contrasted beautifully with the orange of miniature pumpkins, and made a cheery centerpiece on the coffee table, within easy reach for someone relaxing in the comfortable recliner right next to it.
Jason smiled, and inhaled deeply. Underneath the fresh scents, there was a hint of baby powder and of Kat's perfume; so very different from the antiseptic hospital smells of the past month, and signifying more than anything else that he was home again. Taking a slow turn around the room, he listened to his wife moving around while he touched and looked, re-familiarizing himself with the sights and textures he'd missed so much. At last, he found himself in the kitchen. Jason chuckled softly to himself as he spied a very familiar tin on the table, and the coffee maker all set up.
*I should've known Mom would make a batch of cookies! My favorites, too ... I wonder what she's gonna do once Robin's old enough to appreciate her efforts,* he mused as he switched on the percolator and snitched a chocolate chip-pecan cookie. Soon, the coffee was burbling merrily, and the smell of freshly-brewed Colombian began to permeate the air. Jason sighed in appreciation, swallowed the last crumbs and propped his backside against the counter, taking the weight off his aching leg. He rested his crutches in the nearest corner and waited for Kat to reappear.
"Jason?"
Kat put the emptied luggage into the hall closet, then entered the living room, looking for Jason. She'd thought he'd be settled in his recliner, but he was nowhere in sight.
"Where are you?"
"In here," he called from the kitchen. Puzzled, Kat made her way over, stopping in the doorway as she saw him leaning against the workspace, right next to the toaster. It was almost the exact same spot he'd been standing in four weeks ago, when she'd so cruelly asked him for a divorce, and for a second, Kat felt dizzy with remorse and guilt. The sensation receded, though, when she saw his warm, understanding smile. Jason held a hand out to her.
"Come here for a minute, Kitten," he requested.
Stepping closer, the blonde noticed that he'd removed his neck brace.
"Jason, you're supposed to wear this all the time as long as you're up," she scolded him gently. "I know it's uncomfortable for you, but it's only for another three weeks ..." Shaking her head, she had to grin as she wiped a couple of cookie crumbs from the corner of his mouth with her fingertip.
"I know. I'll put it back on in a minute or so," he dismissed her concern with a naughty-little-boy expression at having been caught snacking she secretly found irresistible that slowly changed to one of profound tenderness. "First, there's something I need to do where the thing would only be in the way." He drew his wife into the circle of his arms.
"Oh? What's that?" Kat asked, her heart starting to beat a little faster. With a small thrill, she recognized the look in Jason's dark eyes. It was very close to the one he'd worn the first time they'd kissed.
"This," he murmured huskily, cupped her face in both hands and kissed her very gently. When he finally lifted his head again, Kat's eyes were shining with emotion. He brushed his lips once more over hers.
"I've wanted to do this ever since I woke up from that coma and you told me that you love me," Jason confessed, smoothing the pale-gold locks away from Kat's face. "Only, back at the hospital, we never had enough privacy, or I couldn't move, or something. I'd promised myself this kiss for a very long time."
"Oh Jason," the young woman sighed, deeply touched. "I've wanted to kiss you like this, too, but ..." She never got to complete her sentence, because Jason sealed her lips once more with his own. Kat melted into the kiss, giving and taking everything in return, and it was a while before she became aware of a subtle difference in the loving exchange. They broke for air eventually, but continued to cuddle and smooch. Kat absently dusted little soothing kisses over the thin red lines of the cuts still visible on Jason's face. It wasn't a disfigurement since they would fade with time, although the areas were rather tender still. She puzzled over the nearly indefinable change she sensed in their caresses, but only when Jason kissed her again, more deeply than before, the answer came to her.
There was no more guilt.
Except for that very first kiss that had started them on the path to today, all of their affectionate displays had been tinged with shame, a sensation almost of doing something wrong, something forbidden. She knew it had been because of Tommy, of what they'd done to their friend, and that it had been felt by both of them. However, Tommy at last had forgiven them, and was happy with Kimberly. The reason and need for feeling ashamed and guilty were gone, and for the first time, they were sharing a kiss just because they loved each other and wanted to express that love in the most natural way between a married couple. It made all the difference in the world, and with a happy sigh, Kat gave herself up to Jason's kiss, allowing herself to be drawn into the gentle maelstrom.
Their increasingly passionate exchange was finally interrupted by the doorbell. Jason by now was nibbling on the sensitive juncture of neck and shoulder, sending delicious chills down her spine; Kat's hands were burrowed under his sweatshirt, smoothing over the warm skin of his back, when they found themselves reluctantly called back to reality by the melodious sound. Kat bit back a moan of disappointment as Jason lifted his head and bestowed a smoldering look on her.
"Don't answer that," he whispered coaxingly.
"I'm afraid I'll have to," Kat sighed as she gently disentangled herself from his arms. She could feel his heart was beating as fast as her own. Smiling ruefully, she kissed one of her fingertips and pressed it to Jason's lips, stilling his protest. "I think that's your parents and Robin."
"Aw, man!" She had to giggle at his comical groan. "Couldn't they have waited until tonight? I love my folks, but their timing is lousy!"
"Be nice," Kat chided her husband, quickly restoring order to both their appearances and handing him his neck brace. "They care about you a lot, and I thought you wanted so much to see Robin again?"
"I do," Jason admitted with a lopsided grin as he fastened the brace and reached for his crutches. Following Kat into the hallway, he couldn't resist a last remark. "Still wish they had decided to come later, though!"
Pressing the door opener, Kat turned towards her disgruntled husband with a smile.
"Well," she murmured throatily, giving him a look and a smile over her shoulder that brought a rush of color to his still-pale cheeks. "I suppose we could say that you're still a bit weak ... that coming home, using the crutches and so on has exhausted you, and that you do need to lie down ..."
"I'm feeling myself getting weaker already," Jason murmured back, his eyes lighting up with a tiny flame that made Kat feel light-headed with delight. Only the chime on the elevator's doors as it arrived on their floor recalled them back to the present, and with a mutual sigh, composed equally of frustration and anticipation, the two opened the door to greet the rest of the Scott family.
~*~
The post-race party was in full swing; John Rush always made something of a special occasion on the first day of the new racing season, but on this Sunday in early February it was more festive than usual. While Tommy had placed third instead of winning,– he'd not had a good startup position due to technical difficulties during the trials – there was still cause to celebrate. It had been his driving skill and determination that had garnered him a place on the winner's platform at all, taking him from tenth to third in a fair and exciting race.
What made it extra special for Tommy, though, and sweetened the fact that he hadn't won, was the presence of most of his friends. Rocky, Adam and Tanya, Zack ... Kimberly, Jason and Kat – all of them had wished him good luck before the race, and complimented him sincerely on his performance afterwards. Trini was only missing because she had an important appointment the next day and just couldn't spare the time to travel halfway across the state, but had sent a fax that morning wishing him all the best. It was precisely these little thoughtful gestures and encouragements that had been missing in all their lives so long, and everybody was very grateful to be able to perform them again, now that they were all reunited again. It was the first time since his very first race right after graduation that so many of his friends had cheered him on, and Tommy relished the experience like never before.
*Back then, we all took our closeness for granted; only now, when we've spent time split apart, can we appreciate what it means to be friends with each other.* The thought brought a smile to his lips and Kim to his side from where she'd been talking to Kat. *I never knew how much having these special people as my friends means to me. Especially Jason. Maybe, like Kat almost had to, I needed to lose him first to be able to see how much a part of me he's always been. His going to Geneva was different; there were still letters, and phone calls ... not the total lack of contact we had all that time.*
Kimberly squeezed his waist to recall Tommy to the present. He looked down on his petite lover with warm brown eyes.
"What?" he smiled.
"Nothing," she smiled back. "It's just, you seemed miles away, and I was wondering where you'd gone off to."
"Not far; only over there," Tommy indicated the laughing, chatting group of their friends. "I can't believe how good it feels to have things the way they used to be."
"Oh yeah," Kimberly agreed with a heartfelt sigh. Getting serious for a moment, she searched Tommy's eyes for any kind of discomfort. Choosing her words with care, she asked what she'd been dying to know for some time now – ever since Christmas, when the gang had met for an informal get-together and the atmosphere among them had seemed slightly awkward at times. "Are you okay with ... well, everything?"
"You mean Jase and Kat, don't you?" Tommy queried, a slight grin playing around his mouth. Automatically, his eyes drifted over to where the two sat, Kat's blonde head very close to Jason's dark one. The contrast was aesthetically pleasing, and the sight ... Tommy looked down into Kim's face again. She'd blushed at his perception, but met his look unhesitatingly.
"Yes."
He drew her closer into his arms and kissed the top of her head.
"Don't worry so much, Beautiful," he assured her. "I have no problems anymore with seeing them together. Actually, I'm beginning to think of them just as I think of Adam and Tanya ... y'know, mentally combining their names instead of thinking about them separately."
"I know what you're getting at," Kim replied. "I tend to do the same thing ... and it seems right, somehow."
"Uh huh." Kim had just formulated what Tommy had been struggling to clarify in his mind – instead of the sight causing him pain, as he'd halfway expected it would, Kat and Jason looked right together, their love and devotion obvious to even the casual observer. All he felt by now was genuine happiness for his friends. Tommy grinned suddenly. "Remember how Rocky used to complain that we always came as a couple? He once said that in the beginning he was reluctant to invite me to hang out with him and Adam because the two of us always seemed attached at the hip."
"He did? The fink never said anything to me," Kim complained with a pretty pout, but her eyes grew soft as she remembered those heady days of their early relationship. They shared so much more now, but it was still good to recall how much they'd been in love then. Before she could pursue the subject further, the 'fink' called both of them over to join the group.
"Hey guys, come here for a sec! Jason and Kat want to tell us something!"
Grinning good-naturedly, Kim and Tommy joined their friends.
"What's up?"
Rocky stepped aside energetically to make room for the couple, and accidentally bumped into Jason, who was standing next to him. Turning, he opened his mouth to apologize to his new business partner, but was unprepared for the sudden pallor spreading over Jason's face or the sharp wince he couldn't quite suppress.
"Oh man, I'm sorry," he babbled, quickly steadying his friend as Kat scrambled to get a chair for her husband. With a grateful sigh, Jason sank down and lifted his left leg onto a second chair that Zack was quickly positioning within reach.
"It's okay, Rocky, it's not your fault. I just put too much weight on my leg too fast. I really should've brought my cane," Jason grimaced slightly. He absolutely hated the fact that he still needed to use the walking aid, but unfortunately the infection from his pierced artery had flared up again about two weeks after his release from hospital. There had been some hairy moments until his doctors had brought it under control, but he was finally healing properly. However, it would take some time until he'd regain full use of his leg again.
"Are the penicillin depots working?" Zack asked, slipping into doctor mode for a minute. He quickly and efficiently ran his hands down Jason's thigh and adjusted the angle at which he rested his foot. Finding nothing wrong, he nodded to a relieved Kat to indicate that Jason was indeed as fine as he insisted he was.
"Yeah. Dr. Jones says I'll need maybe one more application, then I ought to be as good as new. About time, too," Jason groused. "Not that I mind teaching just the Senior Citizen and Peewee classes; at least I'm working again, but I want to get back in shape! Bench pressing as the only exercise I'm allowed outside physio gets pretty stale after this long, and I can't even swim as long as the cuts from the penicillin crystals aren't completely healed up."
"Don't overdo things," Zack cautioned his oldest friend. "You're lucky we have a way to deposit the stuff under your skin at all, and that it's doing the job. If the infection had spread any further ... not only would you have been sicker than a dog, in a worst-case situation, you could've lost the leg!"
The others gasped; only Kat – and Rocky as his business partner – had known how potentially serious Jason's recurring illness had been, and had kept silent at his request. Impulsively, Tanya hugged Jason's shoulders.
"Why didn't you tell any of us?" she complained. "We could've been there for you; I thought we weren't going to keep things from each other anymore." Her hurt was obvious, and she was only slightly mollified by seeing that Adam, Kim and Tommy nodded their agreement.
"Yeah, Bro," Tommy added. "Why didn't you?"
Jason met his friends' eyes.
"Because there was nothing you could've done. Because I didn't want to worry you. And I know you would have – all of you," he explained.
"Still," Adam swallowed. "If you'd really lost your leg ..." The stunt director blanched at the thought. He knew what such a thing would cost him, and also how much of an athlete Jason was at heart. He must have been almost paralyzed with worry.
"Well, I didn't, so stop fretting," Jason said. "It's over, I'm going to make a full recovery, and in the meantime, I always have Kat to wait on me hand and foot, if I let her." He smiled at his blonde wife, who stood next to his chair, her blue eyes clouded with lingering concern. Bravely, she summoned a smile, but the others could see that Kat wasn't taking things as lightly as Jason wanted to make them appear. It cast a slight pall over the festive atmosphere.
"Don't keep things like that from us in the future, you hear?" Tanya scolded, masking her own reaction for her best friend's benefit. "We're your friends. Strange as it sounds, we want to worry about you."
"I couldn't have said it better myself," Kim agreed with the former Yellow Ranger. "It's what friends are for, and you should've known that. Now that we're all back together again, I want to keep it that way. And a friend almost losing his leg definitely is something to worry about."
In the silence that followed her vehement statement, all eyes turned towards the culprit, who had the grace to blush and look extremely sheepish.
"I'll remember that," he mumbled, then added reflectively, "although, when I stop to think about it ... I was pretty scared for a while, but when all is said and done, I believe it would've been worth it."
"What?" Rocky gulped. "What the hell could be worth losing your leg?"
"To have all of you back in my life again." The deep voice was husky with emotion, and the six friends sensed that Jason was completely serious. "If losing my leg had been the price, I'd have paid it gladly."
"Jason ...!" Kim protested, finding herself on the verge of tears at the image.
"It's true, Kim," Kat said softly, as earnestly as Jason had spoken. "Jason and I missed you so much ... we'd have given that, and more, to reconcile with you." While she didn't single Tommy out, he knew her remark was directed mainly at him. To break the silence that followed it, he cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the direction in which the conversation suddenly was heading.
"Well, thank God it didn't come to that."
Rocky murmured a heartfelt "Amen" under his breath, which was seconded by nods and muted agreements from the others as they contemplated the consequences the couple would have faced.
Around them, crew and sponsors milled, oblivious to the small group of friends who were closing ranks against outsiders, as usual. Even if it was only figuratively, there was a certain air around them that prevented the other guests from intruding. John Rush observed his nephew from the sidelines and unbeknownst to the young man kept those away who would disturb the group regardless. Ever since Tommy had informed his family about his reconciliation with Jason and Katherine, he'd been more relaxed, and it showed in his driving. While some of the tension had been responsible for his initial wins, Tommy's skill had improved markedly, and John knew how to bide his time. The former Gold Ranger's presence and support had always been good for Tommy, and it was cause to celebrate indeed that his mind was free again. More wins would come as a result of their reunion, the older man was sure.
The erstwhile Rangers slowly regained their good cheer as Zack and Rocky did their best to lighten the suddenly somber atmosphere with a few quips. As laughter rose, first reluctantly, then more freely, Tommy remembered that Rocky had called him and Kimberly over for a reason. Drawing a deep breath, Tommy then looked down at Jason, who was shifting in his chair.
"But, what was it you wanted to ask us, Bro?" he queried casually, accepting the drink Kim handed to him with a nod of thanks. "Before we got distracted by your medical bulletin." Jason turned towards him, his dark eyes warm, but with an expression in them that made Tommy's heart skip a beat. Whatever his best friend was going to say, it was not going to be something frivolous.
"Well," Jason admitted, "actually it was two things. One concerns all of you, the second is a favor I ... or more precisely, Kat and I ... want to ask of you personally."
Thoroughly intrigued, the former Rangers stepped closer.
"Shoot," Tommy invited. It was the lovely blonde, however, who answered first, her accented voice filled with motherly pride.
"As most of you know, a month from now Robin will be a year old. He's really a bit too young to enjoy it, but we want to make his first birthday into something really special – and we'd like all of you to be there, too."
"Hey, any excuse for a party!" Rocky enthused; "of course we'll come! Right, guys?" A chorus of cheery affirmatives brought a pleased flush to Kat's cheeks.
"Thank you so much; we'll let you know the details within the week, if that's allright with you."
Tommy felt Jason's eyes still on himself, and took a couple of steps towards his friend, who by now had risen again and was leaning against the wide windowpane shielding the VIP box from the noise of the racetrack. Behind the two men, Kat started to answer questions about what their little boy might need and/or enjoy as presents, laughingly refusing some of Rocky's more outrageous suggestions.
"What's the favor you need me to do?" he asked curiously. Jason smiled a bit diffidently.
"It's more that I'd like to keep a promise I once made to you," the martial artist said. "You see ... last year, Robin was ill for quite some time; nothing serious, and it's all cleared up now, but somehow or other, we never got around to having him christened. My question now is ... if you're still agreeable after everything that's happened, and after all this time, Kat and I would like very much if you'd stand as his Godfather."
For a full minute, Tommy was stunned speechless. He'd wondered with secret regrets about who was the little boy's Godfather, and he vividly recalled the night when the two of them had sat at a campfire up in the mountains, pledging things to each other that they had yet to fulfill. Although, Jason had definitely made a start at it, giving his son his, Tommy's, name. The racer swallowed hard, suddenly feeling overcome with emotion.
"You ... you're sure you want me?"
"I can think of no better man. I know that, if something should ever happen to Kat or me, you'll be the best person to look after him. Robin is the most important thing in Kat's and my life, Tommy, and we'd like it very much if you should agree."
The two men looked at each other for a timeless moment, then Tommy smiled slowly and reached out to touch Jason's shoulder. There was only one answer he could give.
"I'd be honored."
~*~
As the sun slowly set behind the mountains, Kimberly snuggled into Tommy's arms at the window of her tiny apartment. Everybody had gone home hours ago, and the two lovers wanted to spend a few hours alone after having had not much time together these past few days while Tommy had been in intensive training for the race. They were sitting on the couch, talking quietly about the events of the day, and the tall young man related Jason's request to Kimberly.
"How do you feel about that?" she asked curiously, angling her head so she could see his eyes.
"The truth? Pretty overwhelmed; it's a big responsibility," Tommy answered after a moment's thought. "When Jase and I made that promise to each other, we had no idea what all we'd be taking on."
"Do you regret making that promise, then?"
"No. Not at all; I'd do it again in a heartbeat. If anything, I'm touched that he remembered."
"Jason always keeps his word, once he's given it," Kimberly reminded Tommy.
"I know. And I like the kid; he's pretty cute."
"Isn't he?" the petite brunette sighed with a smile. "I bet he's gonna be just as handsome as Jason when he grows up."
Tommy sat up and regarded Kimberly with mock outrage. "I beg your pardon?!?"
She giggled. "Oh, come on, Tommy – even though you're a guy, you must be able to see that he's quite the hunk!"
"You never thought so when we were first dating," he protested, suddenly unsure. "Did you?"
Kim reached up and drew his head down into a very loving kiss. Her doe eyes sparkled when she finally released him.
"Of course I did. So did Trini, and Aisha when I showed her his picture. Half the girls at school were drooling over Jason."
"I ... see," Tommy said, somewhat hoarsely.
"No, you don't. Because if you did, you'd also know that the other half was drooling over you – only they knew they couldn't have you. Because they'd have to go through me to get you," Kimberly stated possessively, kissing her lover again. When they parted for air, she smiled reassuringly into his troubled chocolate eyes.
"Tommy, I love you. I'm not going to leave you, for Jason or anyone else, no matter how handsome they are. I made that mistake once, and I'm not stupid enough to make it again. You're stuck with me – if you want to be, that is."
"I do," he vowed earnestly, drawing her close. "It's just ... for a second, it all came back to me. That I lost Kat to Jason, I mean."
"Are you still not over that? I thought that you had put it all behind you ..."
"I am. Have. Honestly," Tommy repeated, seeing how distraught Kim was at the thought that he might possibly still be carrying a torch for their blonde friend despite their final, friendly separation. He fell silent for a minute, searching for the right words to convince her that his feelings had truly changed.
"Kim ... eighteen months ago, when I won my first race, I was trying to run away from all the hurt and pain, to escape everything that had happened. I did it the only way I knew how at the time, by being faster than everybody else. Only, it didn't work; the memories would always catch up with me again sooner or later, no matter how hard I tried.
Then, you came back into my life. Suddenly, there were other memories – ones I didn't want to lose, because they were so much nicer than the other ones. We started making new memories, too, and slowly they were replacing the painful ones. Idiot that I was, I was holding on to them anyway, because I somehow felt that if I gave them up, I'd be condoning what Jase and Kat did."
"That's nonsense," Kim chided gently, but Tommy didn't seem to hear her. His voice was strangely intent as he continued.
"When Jason almost died, I had to take a very long, very hard look at myself, and I didn't like much what I saw. I'd let the bitterness guide me for so long that I almost didn't see how much light you were bringing into my life. When I could save him and we reconciled, I suddenly lost a lot of the motivation driving me; that's why I didn't do so well on the track lately. Only today, before the race, when I saw them both together and it looked so right, so natural, I realized that I didn't need to run away any longer. Instead, I found myself going toward something," he confessed. He framed her delicate face between both his hands and looked deeply into her eyes.
Kim couldn't have looked away if her life depended on it, his gaze was so compelling. Holding on to Tommy's broad shoulders, she caught her breath and her heart started to beat a rapid tattoo in her chest as she waited for his next words. It wasn't a long wait, and Tommy's voice was very tender as he spoke.
"I'm going into the future, Kim. And I know now that my future holds you in it. If you want to, that is."
"Wh-what exactly do you mean?" Kimberly whispered, hardly daring to hope. Could he possibly be asking ...?
He could.
"I'm asking you to marry me, Beautiful," he murmured softly, brushing his mouth against her quivering lips. "I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please say yes," Tommy entreated, smiling the smile that had captured her heart so long ago.
Trembling with excitement and delight, Kim kissed him butterfly-soft, making both a promise and a vow.
"Yes."
Epilog:
"Unca Tommy!"
With a squeal of delight, Robin squirmed out of his mother's grasp, dashed through the barely-opened door past a startled Kimberly and launched himself at the long legs of his Dad's best friend. Tommy just laughed, caught the thirty-something-pound bundle of dark-haired energy around his waist and tossed his godson into the air.
"Well, hello, Tiger!"
The two-and-a-half-year-old giggled as he felt himself caught again and wrapped his chubby arms firmly around Tommy's neck. He liked all of his aunties and uncles lots, but Unca Tommy was the bestest!
"'Lo. Unca Tommy, me got tie!"
"What?" Rocky grinned, coming out of the living room into the hallway while Kat and Jason greeted their hostess. "Who'd dare to tie you, sport?" He ruffled the little boy's dark hair, only to find his hand impatiently slapped away.
"Me got tie f'r church!" the tot explained seriously. "Mommy says me look elephant!"
The adults had a hard time hiding their smiles as Tommy ushered them into Kimberly's new, much roomier apartment he would be sharing with her three weeks from now – after their wedding, which was finally coming to pass. In the time after Jason's accident and their reconciliation, a lot of fences had been mended, adjustments had been made, and his and Kim's relationship with Jason and Kat was again as close as it could be – to everybody's relief and delight. Tommy was even contemplating bidding his racing career good-bye and going into business with Jason and Rocky, who were doing very well since combining their schools – especially once Adam had sent a major movie star their way last year to prepare him for a role in an action movie. Between them, the two former Red Rangers had taught the man enough martial arts to let him pull off his part convincingly, and consequently, word-of-mouth was bringing them more and more prestigious students. Kat and Sarah Diaz, Rocky's girlfriend, thoroughly enjoyed attending the occasional glamorous movie première or party the men got invited to.
"Lookin' good, Tommy," David teased his brother as the young man came into the den, the excitedly chattering child still on his arm. "Are you taking notes, Adam?"
The aspiring stunt director smiled, resting his hand on Tanya's shoulder. His wife was just starting to show, and was softly radiant in her fourth month of pregnancy.
"I don't think I'll have to; after all, I practically grew up with Rocky's bunch of sibs. We baby-sat the three youngest so often, there's nothing about diapers and stuff I haven't been through at least once."
"Now that is good to know," Tanya commented saucily. "At least I can rest easy leaving Junior here alone with you on occasion." She touched her rounding stomach.
"Uh-oh – busted, buddy," Rocky snickered, seeing the look of comical dismay passing across his best friend's face. "I think you just put yourself with your back against the wall!"
"And I have witnesses, too, right, girls?" Tanya asked, winking at her friends. She grinned at the chorus of affirmatives she received, but patted Adam's hand reassuringly. She wanted to be an involved, hands-on mother and had no intention of letting someone else look after her baby, but it was good to know that Adam wasn't going to be completely clueless in an emergency.
"Why were you all grinning so much when you came in?" Aisha wondered, and the men and Kat chuckled. Tommy pried Robin's arms loose and set the boy on the floor, who immediately made a beeline towards Kimberly and the snack tray she'd just brought in and set on the coffee table. The young woman stopped a greedy little hand before it could snatch a cracker heaped with Roquefort cheese and, after receiving a nod from Kat, placed a cookie into it instead. Successfully distracted, Robin wandered off to greet his other "aunties", munching contentedly on his treat.
"The Squirt just informed us he'll be looking 'elephant' in church," Tommy laughed, drawing his bride against his side.
"Elephant? Why in Heaven's name would he say that? Is he planning on wearing his Halloween costume?" Kimberly giggled. It wasn't too far-fetched a notion; the wedding was scheduled for mid-November, slightly past the holiday, but ... Kat translated her son's baby talk with an indulgent smile.
"No – he'll be a Ninja like Uncle Rocky this year. I think he just likes the hood." Kat winked at Jason's partner, who still had a picture of himself wearing a ninja outfit on his office wall. "But, we just shopped for a kid's tie for him to wear, the shop assistant told him he was going to look very elegant, and ..."
"Oh!" Getting the joke, Kim broke into delighted peals of laughter when she was interrupted by the doorbell.
"That's Kelly and Trini!" Kim's cousin and her oldest friend were the only ones still missing for her Bridal Shower. She dashed off, much as she'd done as a schoolgirl, to let the two women in.
"I think that's our cue to go," Tommy remarked to his brother and friends. He got a few relieved smiles in return, and Jason went after his errant offspring. "Come on, Sport," he said, hoisting the little boy onto his shoulders.
"Want 'nother cookie!" Robin protested, but was silenced by Tommy's conspiratorial whisper.
"Let's leave the cookies for the girls, huh? We men will go out and have us some real men's food!"
"Yeah!" A broad grin lit up the dark eyes, so much like his father's. "We men!"
"Don't let him eat too much junk," Kat requested softly of her husband as she helped put Robin's jacket on.
"Don't worry, I'll be careful," Jason promised, kissing her goodbye. "You girls have fun – and leave the male stripper alone!" he teased, getting whistles and catcalls from the group of poised, mature, elegant women assembled around the coffee table. "Come on, guys – let's blow this joint!"
"Get out of here and don't come back before nine!" Kimberly shooed her fiancé and his friends out into the hallway, but not before every one of the couples had exchanged kisses.
"Yes, Ma'am!" Rocky saluted the petite woman, and wasn't quite fast enough to escape Kim's playful swat before the door closed firmly behind him.
~*~
"Are we really having a male stripper?" Sarah asked the other women with wide, somewhat wary eyes. While she'd known both Aisha and Kimberly during High School, and even once had wanted to get friendly with Adam, they had never really been close. Her relationship with Rocky, while obviously getting serious or he wouldn't have introduced her to 'the gang', was only a few months old, and the pretty Hispanic girl was still trying to find her place in that close-knit circle of friends. She was very grateful that the others were making it so easy for her, accepting her with open arms not only for Rocky's sake, but also because of her genuinely sweet disposition, which was a perfect foil for her boyfriend's exuberance.
"No, we're not," Tanya laughed, settling herself more comfortably in her armchair. "For one thing, it's really too clichéd and tacky, for another, at least Adam would flip his lid," she grinned as Kat and Kim directed rueful smiles at her, "as would Jason and Tommy, and he would only kill the atmosphere."
"Right," Trini agreed. "It's been so long since we've all been together like this ... I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm in the mood for some really serious girl talk!" Her remark was met with enthusiastic agreement, and soon the seven young women were engaged in oohing and aahing over Kim's wedding gown, giving serious (and not-so-serious) presents to the laughing bride, discussing the form the wedding was going to take, and simply chatting. As was maybe inevitable, at some point the conversation turned to various weddings each had attended. Tanya had just related a funny story that had happened during her and Adam's nuptials, involving one of her uncles, a piece of cake and a none-too-stable bench seat and had everybody still chuckling, when Sarah asked innocently, "What about your wedding, Katherine? You haven't told us anything about your dress and everything."
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, as everybody's eyes turned toward the blonde, who paled a bit as she was transported back to that late-summer day a little over three years ago. However, she swiftly overcame the momentary awkwardness, summoned a smile and said quietly, "That's because there's nothing much to tell."
Kat inhaled deeply, forcing the memory of how unhappy she'd been on her wedding day back into the depths of her mind. How different things were now! The comforting thought and security of her husband's love enabled her to continue with admirable calm. "You see ... I was already pregnant with Robin when Jason and I got married. Our folks weren't exactly thrilled about that and the situation at the time was rather ... uncomfortable, so we just went to City Hall and had a very small, private ceremony. It was just us and our parents, and I wore a simple summer dress."
It was nothing but the truth as far as it went, but Sarah was not yet integrated enough into their circle to need to know anything more. Neither did Kimberly's cousin, for that matter. Besides, they were all too glad to have put the pain of that time behind them.
Oblivious to the undercurrents, Sarah went on.
"That's such a shame – I bet you'd have made a lovely bride."
"Yeah," Kelly interjected with her sometimes still-gushing exuberance. "Didn't you want to have a real wedding, Kat?"
"Of course I did," Katherine admitted, smiling wistfully. "What girl doesn't? But ... our friends weren't there, and it just seemed too much of an effort to go all-out for only a handful of people. We did talk about having a Church ceremony later, but what with the baby coming, then Jason's accident, the merger between his and Rocky's dojos ... there never seemed to be a right moment. Maybe someday." The still-accented voice drifted off, and a faraway look entered the blue eyes for an instant, until they met Kimberly's understanding smile. Tanya gently squeezed her friend's hand, and Kat laughed softly, dispelling the suddenly somber mood.
"But, enough of me. This is Kim's day – and we haven't settled on the date for the final fittings yet, have we?"
Within moments, talk had returned to the dresses they would wear – Trini, Aisha and Tanya simple primrose-yellow gowns as bridesmaids, and Katherine a pale pink creation as Matron of Honor. Kelly and Sarah would not take active parts in the ceremony, but enthusiastically commented on everything, and promised to help wherever they'd be needed.
Their girls' evening was interrupted about an hour before the deadline Kim had given Tommy by an apologetic Jason who entered the apartment with Rocky, an almost-asleep sniffling little boy leaning against his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, ladies, but someone just wants his mommy." He shrugged somewhat helplessly as his wife immediately got up and dried Robin's tear-streaked face.
"Mommy," the little tyke mumbled tiredly, twining chubby arms around Kat's neck. She kissed the dark head as he snuggled against her.
"It's okay, Sweetie," she whispered, calming her son, but it was obvious that she would have to leave. "I'm sorry," the blonde apologized. "But it's past Robby's bedtime, and if I put him into the bedroom for only an hour until the guys get back, he'd be cranky all night."
"That's okay, Kat," Kim answered. "I think we've covered the essentials anyway, and if something else comes up, I'll give you a call, allright?"
"Thanks, Kim," her friend replied. "The rehearsal's on the 10th, right? Three days before the ceremony?"
"Uh-huh. At the Church Hall; we're having the dinner catered rather than go to a restaurant. I thought it'd be easier and more comfortable for everybody. Besides, that way we'll get a real feel for the layout and everything."
"We'll be there," Jason promised as he gathered up Kat's coat. "Goodnight, Kim. Ladies."
A chorus of goodbyes followed the young family outside, and soon after Rocky took Sarah home as well. The former Rangers still sat together for a while, waiting for the return of the men and sipping a last glass of fruit punch, talking quietly about the fun they'd shared during the afternoon and early evening. Kimberly surveyed her presents once more, smiling a bit naughtily at the lacy wisp of a nightgown Tanya and Kat had given her. She couldn't wait to see Tommy's face when she would model it for him! Her musings were interrupted by her cousin when Kelly returned from the kitchen with some leftover canapés.
"Kim? It's probably none of my business, and don't hesitate to tell me if I'm out of line, but ... was Kat being a bit evasive when Sarah asked about her wedding?"
The four older women exchanged suddenly wary glances. There was a moment of silence, which was finally broken by the bride's sigh.
"No, Kelly, you're right – on both counts. Kat was evasive, and I'm sorry, it is none of your business. I can't tell you about it, either – not without Kat's knowledge and consent, anyway." She could see Kelly's eyes light up with curiosity, but Kim knew her cousin wouldn't pry.
After sharing a look with the others, Tanya decided to give a little more explanation, if only just to prevent speculation. "Since you've noticed, though ... I think we can tell you this much: Kat and Jason getting married was something that, at the time, estranged them from most of us. The situation is much too complicated to go into, and it's pretty obvious that we've all gotten past it, but ... their wedding day wasn't quite the happy occasion for Kat it should have been."
"Yes, and I'm still kicking myself that I waited all summer long to contact both," Trini sighed.
"Me, too," added Aisha. "Of course, being out in Africa at the time, I didn't have much choice, and I'm glad my father accepted that research contract back East so I can be here for you guys at least, Kim, but I still wish I could have been there for Kat, too. No matter what, she deserved to have at least one or two of her friends at her wedding."
"I agree, although I think none of us was thinking too clearly at the time," Kimberly replied. "We were too surprised, too upset to realize what we were doing – not only to them, but to ourselves, as well. I don't think I've ever felt so uncomfortable or unhappy in my life, although none of it wasn't my fault and I believed I was doing the right thing."
"Too true. You know what I think? If things had gone as they should have, I'm almost convinced Jason and Tommy would have asked you and Kat for a double wedding, they were that close," Tanya added.
"Would you have minded that, Kimberly?" Kelly asked curiously. "I mean, I can understand you wanting to be the only center of attention, but double weddings are so cool!"
The petite brunette thought for a moment.
"No, I don't think I would've objected," she said. "And if I'd known earlier that Kat and Jason had talked about having a Church ceremony later, I'm sure we could've come up with something."
"Too bad it's too late to arrange having them exchange vows or whatever during your wedding," Kelly teased, only to be surprised by the sudden silence descending over her companions. The four long-time friends exchanged speculative glances.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Aisha asked finally, searching the others' eyes.
"If you're thinking that this would be the perfect opportunity for Jason and Kat to have their Church ceremony with all of us, then yes," Trini mused.
"Without their knowledge?" Tanya queried dubiously. "Is that possible? And more importantly, wouldn't that take attention away from Kim and Tommy? After all, it's their day ..."
"Kimberly?" Aisha looked expectantly at the gymnast.
"I wouldn't mind, not really," Kim said slowly, weighing options. "There might be a way ... Of course I'd have to ask Tommy first, but I don't think he'd object ...."
"But how? We can't very well get Kat into a real wedding dress in three weeks," Aisha remarked. "Especially without her knowing anything about it. It is supposed to be a surprise, isn't it?"
"Naturally. I doubt she'd want to wear white, anyway," Tanya mused. "Or a veil, for that matter. She is a wife and mother, after all...."
Slow, excited grins began to spread over the friends' faces as they contemplated ways and means. Soon, five heads drew closer together, and hushed chatter began to fill the room, although there was no one to overhear the surprises being planned.
~*~
"So Rocky will guide Kim's mom to her seat, the three of you will follow Kat with Adam, David and Zack, Jase will be with me at the altar ... is that it?" Tommy asked Aisha over the excited chatter and laughter at their wedding rehearsal. It was his bride who answered him, though.
"Pretty much. Dad promised he'll be here on time to walk me down the aisle, and I'm soooo glad Claude has decided to come with my mother! He is her husband, after all, and Mom and Dad are getting along much better now." Kim's happiness shone out of her brown eyes as she surveyed her friends and their families milling around. The minister was talking earnestly to Rachel Oliver and Kim's mother, who nodded every now and then to something he said.
"Where is Kat, by the way?" Tommy snagged Jason's shirtsleeve as he passed by with a tray of drinks. The two of them had picked up the rings at the jeweler's earlier, and the lovely blonde had been very much on his Best Man's mind since then. While Tommy was inspecting the engravings and paid for the narrow platinum bands he and Kim had chosen, his eyes had strayed towards a showcase with simple diamond solitaire rings. Jason had started as his best friend came up behind him.
"Anything catch your fancy?" Tommy had asked with an understanding grin.
"Sorta," Jason admitted somewhat sheepishly. "Things being the way they were, I never gave Kat a real engagement ring, and seeing these ... I guess I'll buy one for her eventually, for a special occasion or something, but ..." He shrugged.
Tommy hid a smile. *This is too perfect! It's not my place, I know I probably shouldn't, but what the heck! Besides, it'll be the capper on Kim's surprise!*
"So, which one would you choose?" he asked casually.
"That one, I think." Jason indicated a decent-sized, but not too garish pear-shaped diamond set on a narrow gold band. The glittering jewel was held on either side by three small rubies arranged in triangles; it reminded Tommy somewhat of a sparkling teardrop flanked by tiny blood-red hearts. It seemed strangely appropriate, considering how his friends' marriage had come about. While none of them dwelled on the circumstances anymore, it was never quite forgotten, even if happiness had long taken the sting away.
"Nice," Tommy agreed. "You think Kat'd like it?" He unobtrusively looked at the price tag. *Not too bad. Right-o!*
"I'm sure," Jason said, but turned resolutely away from the display. They'd come here to buy Kim and Tommy's rings, not that he could indulge in fantasies about how his wife's eyes would glow if and when he ever gave her a ring. With a slight effort, he wrenched himself back to the present and his friend's question.
"She ought to be here by now," Jason replied, checking his watch. "She had a sudden appointment this afternoon that she couldn't postpone ..." Just then, the blonde dance teacher entered the room somewhat breathlessly, her small son in tow. Blue eyes sparkled happily as she came up to her husband and the groom. Greeting both men with friendly pecks to their cheeks, Kat apologized for her delay and explained that she'd stopped to pick up Robin from Daycare on her way over. Jason smiled at his wife, relieved. Was it his imagination, or did her eyes shine even more than usual? He was distracted, though, as the minister called all wedding participants to order for one more runthrough, now that the bride's Matron of Honor had finally arrived.
~*~
Little Robin was bored.
It had been cool for a time to watch his Mommy and Dad and Uncle Tommy and Auntie Kim and his other uncles and aunties be shuffled around into orderly rows like he and his playgroup buddies were on their way to the playground, and then they'd had lots of fancy food and he'd even gotten a double helping of chocolate icecream, but now all the adults did was sit and talk.
He'd wandered around for a while, but not even Uncle Rocky or Uncle Zack, who normally were so much fun, had time for him. The dark-haired boy pouted a little bit as he glowered at the laughing, talking adults. This was sooo dumb! He'd played with all of his toy cars, had staged an awesome battle between his stuffed red dragon and his teddy bear, looked at his picture books, but nothing was fun if he had to do it all on his own. There wasn't even a TV at this dumb old place! His lower lip quivered a bit. But crying was for babies; he'd been a Ninja on Halloween, and Ninjas didn't cry, did they? Besides, he was almost three years old! His Granny Helen always told him he was a Big Boy, and Granny Helen was always right; she said so herself!
Robin climbed a chair at one of the windows. It overlooked the quiet residential street, and on the other side, only a few houses down, he could just make out a small playground, with a slide, swings and a sandbox. A few kids were still there, and suddenly Robin wanted nothing more than go out there and play with them. If only one of the grownups would take him! He looked back at the adults. Nobody seemed to be paying him any attention, though, and he'd tried. Lots. The tot sighed. Turning back towards the window, he suddenly noticed that one of the doors to the hall was standing slightly ajar. Curious, Robin slid off his chair and toddled over. Pushing at the door, it swung noiselessly outwards, opening the path to adventure.
A little heart started to beat furiously. The boy knew very well that he was not supposed to go outside on his own, much less cross a street without adult supervision, but there were very few cars about this late in the afternoon, and besides, his Mommy and Daddy would never know, would they? Temptation overcame parental strictures. With a last backwards glance to make sure his parents were still talking to Uncle Tommy, Robin crept out into the foyer. He found his red-checkered jacket lying on a chair and struggled to put it on; he hadn't learned how to close the zipper yet, but he was only going to play for a little bit – just slide down the slide a couple of times, climb on the swings and bake a sand pie or two, then he'd come back. Surely it wouldn't take long enough for him to get cold? Determinedly, the little boy made his way to the front door. It wasn't locked either, just leaning against the doorjamb. Pushing for all he was worth against the massive wood panel, Robin managed to open the door just widely enough to slip outside.
He never heard the door snick into the lock behind him as he carefully climbed down the four steps in front of the building. Disregarding his pricking conscience, intent only on having his big adventure, Robin hurried along the sidewalk until he was facing the playground on the other side of the street. He knew enough to check for oncoming cars; seeing none, he crossed the street just as the four children still playing there were called away by a teenager. For a moment, he almost started to cry in disappointment as they scampered off, but soon the lure of the slide overcame the feeling. Robin might have preferred having some other kids around, but now, for the first time in his young life, he had a whole playground all to himself! He wouldn't have to watch out or wait for anybody!
Happily, Robin climbed up the slide's ladder and glided down the smooth metal slope with an exuberant giggle, only to scramble to his feet and repeat the process. Again. And again. After a while, the excitement faded a bit and he tried out the other equipment, getting thoroughly grubby in the process, but building a sand castle without a trowel was hard work, he had nothing to bake pies with, and he wasn't quite adventurous enough to venture onto the climbing structure without help. The little boy took a few more turns on the slide, but the thrill had somehow gone out of it. Thinking hard, he looked consideringly at the swings. Usually, his Dad pushed him until he thought he'd fly into the sky, but Dad wasn't there. However, he'd seen kids not much bigger than himself work them on their own. Surely he could do that, too?
Determinedly, Robin tried to climb onto one of the seats, but couldn't, not without someone to hold it still, so he settled for bending over it on his tummy, swinging back and forth by shuffling his feet on the sand. Soon, though, that got boring, too, and reluctantly Robin decided he'd better get back to his Mom and Dad, before they noticed he had disappeared. With a last, longing glance, the toddler wandered off down the sidewalk, oblivious to the fact that he was going in the wrong direction.
~*~
He was lost.
Robin had no idea how that could be, but he was pretty sure he hadn't walked that far from the Church where his Mom and Dad were with Uncle Tommy and the others, and this big, busy crossing he found himself at right now hadn't been there, either. He would've remembered that, he was sure! Helplessly, the dark-haired boy looked around, big tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. He wiped them away, getting dirt streaks all over his unhappy little face. Once he'd reached the crossing, he'd turned a corner, then back, dashing hither and yon, hopelessly disorienting himself in his confusion and growing panic. How was he ever supposed to get back to his Mom? A tiny sob escaped him. Robin gazed into a street, but all the houses looked unfamiliar, and the slowly-gathering dusk didn't help any. Big boy or not, being a Ninja notwithstanding, he was getting scared!
"Mommy," he whimpered, no longer fighting his tears.
~*~
The thirty-something-looking man taking a stroll through his hometown had noticed the little boy a couple of minutes ago despite being lost in his thoughts, but since Angel Grovites usually were very protective of their offspring, hadn't paid him too much attention. He was just about to pass around the corner leading towards the park and one of his favorite childhood haunts, when some instinct made him look back. The forlorn little figure in his red-patterned jacket struck a chord inside of him, and while he wasn't terribly good with kids – that had always been more his friends' department – he found he couldn't just walk away. Sighing to himself, the man retraced his steps, instinct telling him that something wasn't quite right about a child this young being out apparently all by his own. He approached the boy cautiously, his suspicions being confirmed as he became aware of the sobs shaking the small but sturdy body. Hunkering down, he summoned a smile and put as much reassurance into his voice as he could.
"Hey there," he said gently.
Robin looked up as he heard the voice, scrubbing hastily at his wet cheeks with grimy hands. He didn't notice that the man had to hide a smile at the mess he made of his face. Warily, aware that both his Mommy and Daddy had warned him about talking to strangers, he met the man's eyes. They were blue, almost like his Mommy's, and looked a bit sad, but ... nice.
"Hello," he answered cautiously, hiccuping. He did have to be polite to an adult, didn't he?
"Can I help you, little one?" the man asked, just as gently as before. He made no move to touch the child, knowing better than to frighten him, and reassured, Robin relaxed a little bit. However, he couldn't just let that question go by just like that.
"I'm not little," he protested through his sniffles. "'M 'most three!" He proudly held up his hand with two fingers folded tightly into his palm, like Mommy had shown him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know that," the stranger apologized solemnly, thereby rising several notches in Robin's estimation. "But ... shouldn't even a big boy like you be with his Mom, now that it's getting dark? Where is she, do you know?"
"At Church," Robin confessed. He looked down sheepishly and scuffed his sneakers against the pavement. "Me went to the slide, and swing, and ..." the small voice trailed off as he glimpsed at the friendly man from under his dark lashes, trying to gauge his reaction. He didn't seem to get upset, which was good, right?
"I see," answered the man, whose hair was almost the same color like his Mommy's, only shorter, and darker, and not as pretty. "Well ... do you know where this Church is?" He was mentally reviewing what he remembered of this particular part of town. Once he'd known almost every part like the back of his hand, but after a ten-year absence, it wasn't that easy. There was a small Church in one of the residential streets a block down, on May Street if he recalled correctly. It would be worth a try to look there; most likely, the tyke's mother would be frantic with worry if the kid had indeed sneaked out, as he was beginning to suspect.
"Other side of the playground," Robin admitted. "Not far 'way."
"Hmm. Do you want me to help you look for it?"
Robin thought for a minute. He was not supposed to walk away with strangers, but this man was offering to look for his Mommy with him; that wasn't going away, was it? Besides, Robin kind of liked his eyes. Still, he was cautious.
"You're stranger," he hedged a bit.
"Oh," the man laughed a little. "I'm sorry, I forgot all about that. My name's ... Will." He held out his hand, just like to a grownup. Robin liked that. Seriously, he put his own grubby little paw into the much-larger hand.
"'M Robin."
"Pleased to meet you, Robin." The two shook hands, then Will got up from his crouch.
"Now that we're not strangers anymore, do you think we should go looking for your Mom?" He smiled again.
"Uh huh," the child answered relievedly. Slipping his hand trustingly into Will's, he looked up at the man. "You know where Mommy is?"
"I believe so. Let's have a look, and if she's not where I think she is, we can contemplate our next course of action then. Is that agreeable with you?"
Understanding only that he would have help looking for his parents, Robin nodded his head enthusiastically. As the two started slowly walking down the street, he thought about what Will had said. He sure used big words!
"Why you talk so funny?" he asked his new friend curiously.
"I do?"
"Yep," the child confirmed. "What's con ... conplate?"
Will laughed a bit ruefully. It had been so long since he'd had to check his speech patterns that he'd fallen back into the habits of his youth without thinking. Where was his gentle almond-eyed friend when he needed her? Matching his stride to the much shorter ones of the child, he began to explain, finding an attentive audience much to his surprise and delight.
Soon, the man and boy were approaching May Street.
"There's my slide!" Robin exclaimed happily, finally recognizing his surroundings. He began to hurry, tugging at the hand claasping his. Indulgently, Will let himself be pulled along. He'd just deliver the child to his mother, who apparently still was at the fully-lit Church building, judging from the number of cars parked outside, and would be on his way again, to reacquaint himself quietly and by himself with his home after a too-long absence.
~*~
"Has anyone seen Robin?" Kat asked Rocky as he re-entered the Church Hall from a trip to the restrooms. "I thought he'd been playing with his cars, but I can't find him anywhere."
Indeed, the backpack with toys sat abandoned in one corner, with no trace of the little boy. Rocky scanned the room, even bent down to look underneath the tables; he was too used to kids' antics by growing up with his own large brood of younger siblings not to be aware of some of the more unusual hiding places they could find.
"I haven't," he admitted, "but I'll go have a look in the foyer, if you want me to. The door outside is closed, so maybe he's just playing hide-and-seek, waiting until somebody comes looking for him. Kids do that, you know," the young man added comfortingly, recognizing the look of worry creeping into Kat's blue eyes. "Why don't you go and check the kitchen and ladies' restroom?"
"I'll do that," the blonde murmured, berating herself for getting so caught up in her conversation with Aisha that she'd all but forgotten to check on her small son in the last three-quarter-hour.
Soon, however, it was obvious that the boy was nowhere to be found. Everybody by then had been alerted and had searched every imaginable nook and cranny, plus some pretty far-out places within the accessible rooms of the Church. Katherine was fighting her tears as she clung to Jason's arm, who tried to control his own worry as he soothed his distraught wife.
"Kat, it's not your fault; neither one of us was watching out for him. We all thought he'd be perfectly safe, and playing quietly," he said reasonably, although he was feeling anything but calm himself. "We just have to search for him methodically. Most likely, Robin's crawled into some really out-of-the-way corner and fallen asleep, like Rocky suspects, or he would've heard us calling for him by now. Luckily, the front door was closed, so he couldn't have wandered off."
"Actually, the door was not supposed to be shut," the minister murmured apologetically, overhearing the comment. "My secretary has promised to come by with some sheet music for the service, and I left it ajar so she wouldn't have to ring the bell. It's sometimes a bit hard to hear if things are lively in here."
Kat blanched as she heard that.
"God, Jason, what if he's run outside?!? Anything could've happened to him by now!"
"Kat, I'm pretty sure I saw him playing with his dinosaur at five," Trini tried to comfort the former Pink Ranger. "I remember looking at my watch soon after, and it's only a quarter past six now ..."
"Do you know what all can happen in 75 minutes?" the young woman demanded, getting frantic. "What if he's been abducted, or something? Or if there's been an accident?"
"Don't go assuming the worst, Kitten," Jason soothed, but he felt his own sense of dread increasing. This was his son who was missing! "We just can't afford to panic, or we'll never find him." Forcing a calm into his voice he was far from feeling, the first Red Ranger slipped effortlessly back into Leader Mode. "Why don't you women start searching this place from top to bottom, while the rest of us go looking in the neighborhood?"
He received immediate assent from their friends, and a general scramble for jackets began while the minister went ahead to turn on every light he could think of. Just as everybody was getting ready to start searching and Jason was trying to comfort a close-to-sobbing Kat, there was a knock on the door. Aisha, who happened to be standing closest, opened the heavy wood panel, and looked up at the stranger standing on the other side. It was a blond man looking slightly older than herself, with receding hair and blue eyes that seemed to have seen far more than his years warranted.
"Can I help you?" she asked politely if distractedly, when her attention was caught by a tug on her skirt.
"Auntie Isha?" a very small voice piped up from somewhere around her knees.
"Oh my God .... Kat! Jason! Robin's back!" Her startled exclamation brought instant silence to the crowded foyer.
"Are you sure?" Katherine surged forward, hope lighting up her eyes. "Robin!"
"Mommy!" With a delighted squeal, the little boy let go of his new friend's hand and threw himself into his mother's arms. Finding himself hugged for all he was worth by his relieved parents, he started to babble out apologies interspersed with his adventures, forgetting about the man who'd helped him find his way back. The others let go of breaths they hadn't been aware of holding, gathering around the reunited family and immensely glad that no harm had befallen their friends' son. In all the hubbub, the stranger still standing outside the door almost made good his escape, seeing as he'd delivered his young charge back where he belonged, when Aisha remembered that Robin hadn't come back on his own. She knew Jason and Kat would want to express their thanks in person, so she called out after the retreating man.
"Wait! Please, don't go just yet!" There was something niggling at the edge of her consciousness, but she couldn't quite figure out what it was. "Please, let us at least say thank you!"
"No thanks are necessary," the man replied, not turning. He needed to get away, to get over the shock of seeing all of his childhood friends assembled here. And the little boy he'd picked up was Kat's son! Apparently not by Tommy, though; rather, it was Jason who had his arms draped reassuringly around the slender shoulders. *How could that be??? Tommy and Kat were getting so close, the last time I saw them ...* A lot seemed to have happened during his absence, but he was not at all sure he was ready to deal with it – and his friends – yet. Before he could vanish into the gathering darkness, though, Aisha stepped out the door, holding him back.
"Please, who are you?" she asked quietly but insistently. The man hadn't said much, but his voice had sounded awfully familiar somehow. The second Yellow Ranger was joined by her successor.
"Is everything okay, Aisha? Is that the man Robin is telling Kat about?"
"Yes, I ...."
Tanya suddenly stared as she detected a slight stiffening in the man's posture – almost as if he was recognizing her. *How was that possible?* She narrowed her eyes consideringly, sharing a puzzled look with Aisha. The stranger cast a furtive glance back at the two women, hiding his face away from view almost immediately, but it was enough for his erstwhile teammates.
"Good Lord!"
"I don't believe it!"
Tanya and Aisha recognized him at almost the same moment, and without giving it a second thought, ran forward to embrace the friend they'd thought beyond their reach for years. They gave the startled young man fierce hugs, tears of joy starting to stream down their lovely, dusky faces, and without leaving him any room to protest, dragged him back up the stairs into the light and towards the rest of their friends.
"Guys! Look who's here!"
All eyes turned towards the door and the group of three. The stunned silence following the first shock of recognition was broken by Kimberly's exuberant squeal of joy and a general surge of bodies towards the unexpected, wholly welcome and quite embarrassed visitor.
"Welcome home, Billy!"
~*~
"That's a lovely necklace you're wearing, Kat," Tanya said admiringly as the group of friends helped each other into their wedding finery in the Church's changing room. Kelly and Sarah were kept more than busy with attending not only the bride, but four other women as well.
"Thank you," the blonde smiled, adjusting the clasp to sit in front right at her collarbone. It was a twisted rope consisting of three strands of tiny pearls and rose quartz beads each, with occasional gold pearls interspersed that added a bit of sparkle to the soft luster. The clasp was a penny-sized rose quartz oval in a plain gold setting that looked almost exactly like her Zeo symbol. "Jason bought it for me with the last of the insurance money we received after his accident. I wanted him to get some new office equipment, but he insisted." A faint blush stained the porcelain cheeks as she remembered the romantic evening her husband had arranged when he gave her the present.
"How very nice of Jason." Tanya grinned knowingly at her best friend, interpreting her expression correctly. Kat's blush intensified, but she returned the grin with a small wink and one of her own.
"It's gorgeous," Aisha agreed, turning to let Kelly close the zipper on her yellow dress. "It's as if you chose it with this dress in mind."
Indeed, the slim-cut gown in pale pink was almost the exact color of the rose quartz, and the Australian's slightly-tanned skin was set off perfectly by her bared left shoulder while Kat's right arm was covered down to the wrist. The asymmetrical cut was very simple, but the draped fabric suited Katherine as well as the differently-made Bridesmaids' dresses fit her friends. Kim had chosen a style that was reminiscent of ballerina costumes – full skirts, fitted bodices with spaghetti straps and open bolero jackets in deference to the occasion and season. All four women looked equally beautiful and radiant as they prepared for their friend's wedding.
"Can someone help me with this?" Kimberly called out from the mirror, where her mother was trying to fix her veil to the caramel locks.
"Sure," Kat wandered over, handing out hairpins as they were needed. She spared a glance for her own reflection. Her long, pale-gold locks were held back from her face with a set of sparkling combs, the way Jason liked best, and for a second, she wished she could have worn a spiderweb cloud of tulle with a tiara-like circlet of pink rosebuds like Kimberly on her own wedding day, but the thought was gone almost as soon as it had appeared. The trappings didn't matter; her marriage was finally all that she could have ever hoped for, and a happy smile crossed her lips as she thought about the news she had to tell Jason. *Soon.*
"That's it, Sweetie; you're all done," Mrs. Hart-Laroux declared, stepping back. Kim rose from her seat and turned towards her friends, all ready except for her bouquet.
"What do you think, guys?"
"Perfect," was the unanimous decision after the women surveyed the bride. The Scarlett O'Hara – like dress in white lace, with tiny pink satin rosebuds strewn all over the hoop skirt transformed the petite woman into a fairytale picture of loveliness. One after the other, they carefully embraced Kim, wishing her the best, then Kelly and Sarah slipped out to tell Rocky it was time to usher the bride's mother to her seat. Mr. Hart smiled at his ex-wife as she passed him, both having made their peace with each other long ago and united in the desire to make this day in their daughter's life as happy as possible.
"Would you mind getting my bouquet, Kat?" Kim asked her fellow Pink Ranger, and while the blonde went to retrieve the arrangement of pink roses and matching orchids, she quickly whispered a question to Trini.
"Is everything ready?"
"Yes," the willowy Asian replied just as softly. "We've put everything in the vestry. There'll be no problem – unless either Kat or Jason says no." Both women grinned at each other conspiratorily. "I don't see that happen, though. Do you?"
"No," Kim laughed, her doe eyes sparkling. "I can't wait to see their faces! Thanks, Kat," she said as her friend handed her her bouquet. Through the closed door of the changing area, they could hear the organist intone the piece of music intended for the processional.
"Ready, everybody? Then let's go!" Aisha exclaimed exuberantly. Justin, who was waiting outside, gallantly held open the door and whistled soundlessly at the sight of his female friends as Kat was the first to step out, followed slowly by Aisha, Tanya and Trini. The women made their way slowly towards the altar, lining up at one side opposite Adam, Zack and David. Jason stood next to Tommy slightly towards the middle, and shared a smile with Kat as she took her place. How lovely his wife looked in the formal gown! He was distracted by Tommy's intake of breath as the Wedding March started and Kimberly walked down the aisle on her father's arm, a vision in pink and white.
The beautiful, traditional ceremony went by without a hitch, and all of the former Rangers wore happy smiles as Tommy and Kim exchanged their first kiss as a married couple. However, when they separated again, instead of turning towards the congregation, their friends and family, they stepped aside, looking significantly at the minister. The man raised both hands to ask for silence, then addressed the assembled guests.
"Ladies and gentlemen ... may I have your attention, please?"
Most of the guests, including Jason and Kat, exchanged puzzled glances. The ceremony was over, wasn't it?
"Thomas and Kimberly have informed me that there is a couple present today who, while having been married for quite some time already, never exchanged vows in the presence of their friends, nor have had their union blessed in the eyes of God until today. It will be my pleasure, if they are willing, to rectify that situation now, while all their loved ones are assembled here."
Kat's breath hitched in her throat as she caught Kim's encouraging smile. Her eyes flew towards Tommy, who gave her a slight nod, then nudged Jason forward. "Go on, Bro," he quietly said to his best friend. "This is your clue."
Stunned dark eyes met Tommy's chocolate orbs, then were drawn inexorably to the equally surprised crystal eyes of his wife. Kat stood immobile, incapable of thought, she was so surprised.
"Oh God, I ... I can't ..." Kat whispered finally. She looked helplessly around, meeting only warm, understanding looks from those of her friends gathered at the altar, Billy, Zack and Rocky in the front pew and her parents and in-laws right behind them. Her son was sitting quite still on Doris Hillard's lap, gazing at his parents with wide, wondering dark eyes.
"Yes you can, Kat," Kimberly assured her friend, her own voice not quite steady. "We all made mistakes when you and Jase got married, and we know how much you always wanted to share your wedding with us – just as everybody is sharing today with Tommy and me. It may come three years late, but this is our wedding present to the two of you. Please accept it in the spirit it is given."
Tears began to gather in Kat's eyes as she listened to Kim, and hardly daring to hope it could be true, sought Jason's warm smile. He had received his own reassurances from the men, and stepped forward to grasp Kat's hand in his. Raising it to his lips, he kissed the back gently. Recalling something Kat had said to him the day they'd told their families they were getting married, he smiled hopefully at his wife.
"For all the right reasons this time, Kitten," he murmured tenderly. "I love you, and if you're willing, I'd like very much to renew our wedding vows with you."
A single teardrop escaped and slowly rolled down Kat's cheek as she smiled back tremulously.
"For the only reason this time," she corrected Jason softly. "I love you, too, and I want this very much."
As soon as she'd given her consent, she found herself whisked aside by Tanya and Aisha. Trini meanwhile had disappeared into the vestry and returned with an arrangement of delicate silk flowers and long, curling ribbons the same pink as Kat's gown, which she deftly fastened in the pale-gold hair. Seemingly out of nowhere, a smaller version of Kim's bouquet, only in white with pink ribbons, appeared and was placed into the young woman's hands, while Tommy surreptitiously handed a small black velvet box to Jason.
"I hope it fits," he said with a wink.
Touched beyond words, Jason cast a quick glance inside, to see what he suddenly knew he'd find – the diamond-and-ruby ring he had admired at the jeweler's a few days ago.
"Tommy, I ... I don't know what to say," he admitted hoarsely.
"You don't have to say anything, Bro," his best friend replied, meeting the dark eyes squarely. "Just be happy – as happy as I know I'll be with Kim."
"I'll do my best," Jason promised, reaching out for a hug that was gladly returned. Both knew without a doubt that they'd finally put the past and all the pain they'd caused each other firmly behind them.
There wasn't a dry eye in the small Church as Jason and Kat exchanged their vows a second time, holding hands and looking deeply into each others' eyes all the while. At the end of the solemn ceremony, they kissed, Kat's lips trembling as much as the first time, but this time the tears she shed were happy ones, sluicing away everything but the love and friendship filling their hearts as their friends and families rejoiced with them, Kim and Tommy.
~*~
"Do we finally get an explanation why the two of you got married so suddenly?" Helen Scott softly asked her son some time later as she embraced him and her daughter-in-law. Jason exchanged a glance with Kat, and both blushed. Helen saw and smiled understandingly.
"The two of you didn't think we hadn't noticed there was something more going on than met the eye, did you?"
"Well, no, but ..."
"Sweetheart, we're your parents; parents notice that kind of thing," Doris Hillard added just as softly, not wanting others to overhear. "You'll learn, once Robin gets older." Both fathers nodded, regarding their guilty-looking offspring with knowing, but forgiving eyes. Jason rubbed his hand over his mouth and along his chin, drawing a deep breath. Feeling Kat's slender fingers slip into his free hand, he gave them a reassuring squeeze and faced the older couples.
"You're right," he admitted at last. Exchanging a glance with Kat, he drew her close. "It's a long story which luckily has a happy ending, but ... I – no, we – know it's past time we told it to you. Not here, though; can we make it tomorrow?"
"Of course, son," John Scott acquiesced readily. "Why don't we all meet for dinner at our house?"
The appointment duly made, Jason and Kat watched their parents being swept away by other well-wishers.
"I'm glad we can finally come clean," the young woman sighed, leaning into Jason's arm. "I so hated keeping the truth from my folks all the time .... but there really was no right time to tell them, was there?"
"No, but I wished there had been often enough," he agreed. "However, let's not spoil the party. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm looking forward to having the first dance with you, Mrs. Scott!" Giggling, Kat let herself be drawn away into the ballroom.
~*~
The party was slowly drawing to a close as the eleven friends, plus David, Justin and Sarah, found themselves in a quiet corner. Billy had tried to protest his inclusion in the festivities, but his friends hadn't let him withdraw, being far too glad to have him back with them.
"It's where you belong," both Jason and Tommy had told the first Blue Ranger firmly. "You've always been one of us, and there's no way we're letting you vanish again."
He'd finally acquiesced, secretly glad that his friends were as accepting of him as he'd only dreamed they'd be. Naturally, there had been curiosity about his return; the women had picked up on his aura of sadness, though, and were biding their time until Billy would be ready to share his feelings. It was obvious to all of them that his relationship with the lovely Aquitian hadn't worked out, but they wouldn't pry, trusting him to open up eventually.
"I can't believe you guys did this," Kat sighed happily as she snuggled into Jason's arms. The senior Scotts had taken their son home a while ago, and they were free to enjoy themselves. "Thank you all soooo much; I'll always remember this!"
"Well, actually you have to thank Sarah and Kelly for the idea," Kimberly admitted, equally cuddled up to her tall husband. "If Sarah hadn't brought up your wedding at my Bridal Shower ..."
"I hope you don't mind that Rocky told me some about your first ceremony, Kat," Sarah interjected apologetically. "I didn't mean to pry, but Trini needed me to help get your bouquet, so ..." the pretty dark-haired girl was a florist, and had helped choose and arrange the floral arrangements both brides had held during the exchange of vows.
"No, it's okay," Kat reassured her. "It's not something we're proud of, but things did turn out okay after all."
The friends shared contented smiles. It had been a rocky road they'd travelled, but the goal had been worth the hard journey.
"That's good," Rocky's girlfriend said earnestly. She reflected for a minute or two on the events she'd witnessed during the day. "So – was your second wedding completely different from the first – except for you marrying the same man?" she teased a little, trying to lighten the mood.
"Totally," Jason laughed, kissing his wife's soft cheek. "And I can't tell you how glad I am about that." He shook his head at Tommy, his expression a mixture of rueful amusement and slight chagrin. "Although, I certainly never dreamed you'd be buying a ring for me to give to my wife!"
"Don't worry about that, Bro," the groom smirked back at his best friend. "You'll find the bill on your desk come Monday morning!"
All former Rangers laughed at Jason's mock-horrified reaction and the banter flowed easily back and forth, reuniting them in a way that had been sorely missed by all.
Listening, Kat smiled to herself as she thought about her little secret she'd wanted to tell Jason in private. However, she was feeling so very happy, and come to think of it, what better time than right now, with all of their friends there to share their joy? Her eyes glowed softly with emotion as she took Jason's hand and placed the palm against her face in a by-now familiar gesture.
"Actually, there is one thing about our second wedding which is the same this time," Kat said quietly during a momentary lull in the group's conversation. At the puzzled glances she received, she elaborated. "Jason answered Sarah's earlier question, yes, but I never did." All attention immediately focussed on her, expectant smiles spreading over everybody's faces. She met her husband's midnight eyes with an expression that sent Jason's heartbeat soaring.
"Oh? What's that?" he asked, a certain suspicion making his voice even deeper.
Kat just smiled at Jason as for this instant their surroundings receded and there was only the two of them, just as on that summer day so long ago. She was radiant as she spoke.
"I'm pregnant."
The End.
Author's Note: Yes, this monster is finished. I hope you enjoyed the ride as much as I did. My thanks go to everybody who nagged ... er, helped me on this with their comments, suggestions and insightful questions, forcing me to write – hopefully – a better story. In alphabetical order: Casey, Cheryl, Chris F., Eva, Jacqui, Jeremy Ray, Mele, Peregrine ... and all those with whom I have shared this in progress, but forgotten about. Thanks, you guys! Comments, as always, are welcome ... DB, Spring/Summer 2000.