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| Letter To My Eating Disorder |
| How do you feel about YOUR eating disorder (if you have one)...do you love it, hate it, a little bit of both? Are you fighting it off, sucumbing to it, and how does it make you feel? Please feel free to SUBMIT your own letter (by email) to your eating disorder! It has been proven that this can be a good step towards recovery, or at the least, being honest with yourself. Your name can remain absolutely anonymous if you wish. Good luck and God Bless! |
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| MELISSA'S LETTER: 11/12/02 Dear Bulimia, You were with me throughout my teenage years, there to comfort me, to provide me an emotional outlet...you promised me many things, all of which were lies. You promised me beauty; but made me ugly from the inside out. You promised me thinness; thus, at first I lost weight and I remained thin but after awhile got so emeshed in binging and purging that my body consumed most of the calories before I could get rid of them, so I infact GAINED weight (this being the sad fate of most bulimics). I almost DIED for YOU, bulimia, because you were so important to me. You almost made me so dehydrated I died, you made my heart palpitate and my hair turn brittle and fall out. You along with your friend anorexia who also haunted me for a time, you both had control of my thoughts and my mind. You WANTED ME TO DIE!!! That was your goal, right, you were a demon on my back which I could not alone dispose of. But you were NOT worth dying for. I see that now. I thank God for his son Jesus Christ, who paid for my sins, through whom I now have MY freedom FROM YOU. You still come around sometimes, knocking on my soul, trying to persuade me to let you back into my life as you have done so many times before. But this time, I will ignore you...I'll do whatever I can not to give into the temptation and the sweet sounding lies you promise. I would much rather bow down before the one true God when I feel bad, sad, or alone than to ever again kneel down before the toilet bowl, giving that porecelin God a meaningless sacrifice, trying to cleanse myself of SOMETHING all alone...but only GOD could give me that peace, joy, freedom, THE THING IN MY HEART THAT WAS MISSING, he fit perfectly into the puzzle. So bulimia, I am writing you off FOR GOOD now. I have a wonderful husband, beautiful son, another baby on the way now. I have great friends, a career in playwriting, and so much more in store, I'm sure. And I don't need you to come along and try to ruin it all for me. GOODBYE, BULIMIA. I wish never to hear from you again! Sincerely, Melissa |
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| LEXI'S LETTER: 12/03/02 To my Eating Disorder: I hate you SO much! You have taken so many precious years AWAY from me. You made me hate myself for so long. But now I am learning to LOVE myself finally and know that God made me and loves me just as I am even though YOU DON'T. No matter how thin I got, it would NEVER be good enough for you. You always pushed me to go further. I HATE YOU, EATING DISORDER. YOU SUCK. GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE. I deserve better than having you ruin my life because I know God has something wonderful planned for my life! So just leave me alone! ~~Lexi |
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| NICHOLA'S LETTER: Little Voice knocking on my thoughts: You dispise me. You hate me. You seek to destroy me. You seek for your own pleasure and own satsifaction. You lie and devise crafty ways to persuade my mind to believe you. You even use others to speak your language to me. You filtrate the distorted image of me in and through the mind. All day long I hear your voice. All day I can discern your wishes from my Daddy. Oh and your favorite thing to do is capture me in the moment. The moment where feelings grab a hold of me. You love to rule my life with feeling instead of the invisble grace that surrounds me. Did you know that my body is not yours to control? Did you know that your ways only look like a candied appple but the taste is of poison? Of course you do...but all the day long you try to convince me otherwise. You tell me how ugly I am, how I need more, how I can use this NEW method to reach my goal. All in all you seek for separation from my Daddy. You yearn for me to be independent of Him because you are. You yearn for me to continuously fall for your game plan. It's as if you have your huddle of football players stradegizing how to make the next play. You've sat down with them all and told them how to make it work out. I mean you've had so much practice at coaching minds that you are a master at it now? How long has it been? Oh yeah the garden of eden. Yeah that's a long time but you know what ! You no longer have control over me anymore! I am Christ's an Christ's alone. He is my Deliverer and Truth Teller. He speaks of beauty about me. He sings me love songs at night. He brings me up and never lets me feel condmned. He defeated you and all your methods at the cross! I no longer live but Christ who is my life! No longer am I bound to your chores! For you know your time is short and my Savior is out to save the millions! He won't let you touch me! Nothing can separate His love for me! NOTHING! Not even your pesky deceptions that speak to me all day long. You've robbed me of my freedom and identity. You've used others to tell me lies. The power of God, your Creator!, dwells within me! God the Almighty DWELLS WITHIN ME as JESUS CHRIST! The blood of the Lamb covers me. He defeated you and I am an overcomer with Him! I rebuke you Satan! FLEE from me and the lives that you hold dear! The Lord has opened up my eyes to your voice and your deception! I can see as broad daylight....my spirit is not of fear anymore but of power! You have no right to have anyone! Christ has defeated you! THE VICTORY IS WON! Proclaim all the Saints of the Lord that you are free...for that is what you are! FREE FROM CONTROL BY FOOD AND ANYOTHER STONGHOLD YOU FEEL IS THERE! Amen and amen! Precious in His sight, Nicola |