She stood just outside the office door for a few moments to regain her composure, then taking a deep breath, when she could trust herself to speak again, tapped her commbadge. "Licinia to Counsellor Riis"

Marcia was in her quarters, centering herself after that meeting. The tension level inside that room had made her head quite sore, all due to one person. Licinia. She definitely had to help her out with those problems of hers, if not for her own peace of mind. Then she heard the comms.

She quickly finished the ritual and replied "Licinia, how may I help you?" (Please organise a few scheduled visits please, I don't want to have to order you to do it.) she thought, suddenly feeling terrible.

"I've been asked to schedule some sessions with you. And..." she took a deep breath. "It's just as well because I, I need to talk to *someone*."

Marcia almost cried out in joy but quickly reserved herself, such actions did not befit a starfleet counsellor or a member of the sixth house. (Finally!) she thought. "When would you like to come by? I am free anytime you need me."

"I'm on duty now, of course," Licinia replied, "but I could come after the end of my shift."

"That is perfectly fine by me, I will be waiting for you when you get there. Riis out."

a short while later:

Licinia finished the last of the tactical and security reports and updates, and ordered her terminal to transmit them to Shepard's. Then, she turned the station over to her relief and and left the bridge. Stopping briefly at her own quarters to change out of uniform, she then went to Riis' office and rang the chime.

Marcia had been prepared for this meeting for about 20 minutes now and was waiting, calming herself for the amount of emotion from Licinia. She could sense those same emotions as they moved throughout the ship heading towards her cabin. She was ready, and Licinia was being forced to do this but, it was for her own safety.

"Enter"

The door slid open and Licinia entered. "Thank you for seeing me on such admittedly short notice." she began, then took a deep breath.

Marcia needed to keep her mind open to sense everything that Licinia was going to go through during this talk, something which was probably going to prove difficult. Trying to make Licinia welcome, she said "Please come in and make yourself comfortable, would you like any refreshments, I have programmed a brilliant Rigellian herbal tea into the computer?"

Licinia nodded. "That'll be all right...I haven't had that before, but don't mind trying it."

"Brilliant.", she replied in a happy voice. She had a chance to show off the beautiful Rigellian tea to her crewmates. She walked up to the food synthesiser and said "Two Rigellian Tea extracts, number ...... 5." "Mmmmm, this is going to be nice. Here you go."

The tea was quite relaxing and soothing to the point where Julia found herself becoming calm and at peace, she found herself able talk more freely. Taking the seat that Riis indicated, she took another deep breath. "Counsellor, I'm not sure about a lot of things. Until a few hours ago I didn't even know what I was doing on this ship."

"What do you feel about your current assignment?" Her voice was soothing and comforting.

"I'm glad to be here, this is the first assignment I've had in almost a year. But at the same time I'm not sure I should be, that I have any *right* to be."

Taking a sip from her tea, Marcia listened to Licinia and then added, "If you have been out of work for almost a year, then you definitely deserve this post. However, why do you think that you don't have any right?"

"Why do I say that?" she asked. "Don't you know who you're talking to, Counsellor?" She remembered only too well the whispers behind her back, the sidelong glances, the eyes that would be averted when she entered a room.

"Hmmmm, let's see now it has been a while. Weren't you involved in something with Heralds?"

She nodded. "The Herald, yes. I know you have heard of them, of what happened, the whole of Starfleet has by now. The invasion of sector 225, Counsellor. The very sector we are now heading for." The pain flickered in her eyes again "starbase 225 destroyed, the USS Phoenix severely damaged. Oh, they were beaten but at a high price in Federation lives." she took a deep breath, closed her eyes. Then opened them again and made herself continue. "And *that*, because an officer from the starbase betrayed them, gave the Herald everything they needed to know to break through their defenses!"

Unfortunately, Marcia's need to have her shields down was beginning to feel like a bad idea however she forced her mental shields down and continued. This was going to be unfortunate, Marcia had a rough idea of what was going to happen next.

In a soft voice, Marcia asked "Was that person you?"

The pain in Licinia's eyes was so strong if it had been a knife Julia could have stabbed Marcia there and then. It was only with effort she managed to keep from looking down at the floor.

She nodded miserably."They'd taken me a short while before, to find out about us. I didn't tell them anything--or I thought I hadn't. I managed somehow to get away, get back to the base and then..." she sighed. "I thought I'd outwitted them by getting back to warn the base and then, then...!" she swallowed. Even after all the months in rehab this was *still* very painful for her. "Suddenly I started seeing a face, hearing voices, the screaming of all their other victims, the ones they'd destroyed before they found us."

"The Captain had me put on one of the evac shuttles, and the CMO gave me something to help me sleep. I remember coming out of that, then the exec wanted me to try and remember what had happened while I was with them, we had to find out all we could."

Marcia knew that she needed to continue very carefully, she had released Licinia's initial barrier and had gotten her to talk, but the difficult part was coming closer. She nodded her head, absorbing everything that Licinia had to say.

"That's when, that's when it all went wrong, so terribly wrong."

So many times, Marcia had to fight with herself to not put her shields up. It was going to be havoc for Licinia and she needed to find out what she was going through. She had read the report attached to Licinia's file and had also received the filed report from Sheppard concerning his review of Licinia. However the most important part of this was from the point of Licinia herself. "What went wrong?"

"I thought I'd outwitted them, by using their own power to escape and, and warn the base." she shook her head. "But I hadn't. They *let* me go, I know that now." she took a deep breath the rush of emotions was making it hard for her to continue but she had to. "I sat there, trying to remember, then suddenly something seemed to wake up and I couldn't stop it, it was like watching myself on a holofilm...saying things, *doing* things I never would've done." she looked down at her empty hands which were now thrust out in front of her and stared at them as if they'd suddenly become something alien, unrecognizable. "These hands...." she looked back up at Marcia and held them out towards her. "I *killed* poor Dr Traxan and he was only trying to help me...!!" she sobbed. "I saw myself doing it and at the same time I was screaming for it to stop but it wouldn't and then after he was *dead*..."

At that moment, a memory of Licinia's flashed into Marcia's mind. She saw through Licinia's eyes, standing over Traxan, her hands crushing his throat and the look of surprise on his face even as he died, the memories of the alien's pleasure and Licinia's horror as the body fell to the floor. Then going forward through the main section ignoring the calls of the other station personnel, to the cabin, taking out a phaser and shot first one then the other pilot and began to reset the shuttle controls even as the image of another man shouted over the commlink that was still open...Licinia's memory identified him as McConnell, 225's XO.

Marcia told Licinia what she'd seen, as gently as possible of course.

Julia nodded when the Counsellor had finished. "That's how it started. I took that shuttle in, everyone on it ended up fodder for the Herald except me why I should've died with them it's all my fault I let them in." she sobbed.

Marcia shook her head clear of the images that she just saw from Licinia's mind and said still a little dazed from the experience "They used you, your mind and body was theirs. It was not you, you must understand that. You did not betray them, you have betrayed nobody but perhaps yourself. This was not you, however you fought back and eventually overcame their mental domination which makes you a very strong person."

"Did I?" Licinia whispered. "I keep telling myself that but then you don't know the rest of it. Like I said that's just how it started."

"Please, do go on. The sooner you begin to face the problem, the sooner it will begin to go away."

"Once I was on their ship, I went to their bridge. There was another man there. Carner. He was human, we'd caught him on the base a little while before the Herald came. He was working for them too, though we didn't know that at the time. He'd been arrested for something else."

She took another deep breath.

"That's when the attack on 225 began, they wanted all of us and all the while *I* was trapped inside myself. I wanted to stop it, but all I could do was watch it happen."

Placing a comforting hand over Licinia's, Marcia sent comforting energy towards her to allow her to calm down. "Come on, calm down, relax."

She took a deep breath and forced herself to go on. "The end of it--I remember the battle. Carner was saying something to me. I couldn't hear what, though. There were explosions, fire, then another flash. That's the last thing I remember before I woke up in the hospital. And then they told me the battle was over, had been over for almost two months." she took another deep breath. "I didn't even know how I'd gotten there. They wouldn't tell me, they said I'd remember eventually. But I didn't, and I didn't know until today."

Marcia was at a stand still at the moment, for although she was probing Licinia to help with her meeting, she wasn't getting any information. She would have to raise her empathic shields because Licinia was at the stage when she was almost about to cry, something which would definately have an effect on her. The raw emotion flowing from Licinia was unbelievable, it was circulating around the entire room and would have been extremely hard to concentrate, however Marcia was very well trained and could continue. She waited for Licinia to continue.

"And you want to know what the worst part of all of it is? Look up the he records, Counsellor, find out who was the CO of 225 when the Herald came!"

Riis was still confused, it had been a while since she had read the entire report. "Does this person mean a lot to you Licinia?"

"When he first arrived on 225, I was already there." she paused, took a few deep breaths, then forced herself to go on. "I remember the talk we had his first day. I gave my word I'd do everything possible to make things easy for him." Her eyes met Riis' and there was desolation in them..."The Herald showed up only a few days later. And one thing I *do* remember, the look on his face when he saw me calling from their ship."

"I understand how that would have made you feel Lt. And?"

"And now he's *here*, on *this* ship, and I find out *that's* how I got back. Why didn't he just leave me there after. everything?"

First of all, Marcia projected her calm emotional state towards Licinia, making it circulate throughout her entire being calming her down, letting her old emotions drain away, almost as if they did not exist. It would make it a lot easier to help her along. "Have you asked Captain Shepherd why he rescued you from the Herald?"

"I didn't *know* it was him, not until a few hours ago. All I knew before that was waking up in the hospital, and the Herald wasn't in me anymore. I was just myself again. Then being told it was two months since the battle."

"Yes, I remember reading that much. They made sure that this Herald wasn't anywhere near your consciousness. Several specialist Betazoids were called in to make sure that there was no trace of this Herald."

"They wouldn't tell me how I'd made it back." Licinia repeated. "They said I'd eventually remember on my own but I never did."

"Unfortunately, when people are possessed by psychic entities, they forget those experiences when they are shunted into their own subconscious. It does take time to remember those memories as your brain needs to sort them out on its own. So when exactly did you find out, about Shephard that is?"

"Today. He called me into the ready room for something, and just as I'm leaving he dropped it on me. I just ran out of there, I didn't know what to say. It's hard enough trying to make sense of the other things he said. Remember I said earlier that until a few hours ago I didn't even know what I was doing on this ship?"

"Well, at least he told you. If it was blunt, then you will need to forgive him as it is in his nature for those people that he cares about. If you would like, I will try to 'encourage' those memories to surface. I cannot guarentee any success but at least it will be something. What do you think?"

Licinia shook her head. "I don't know. What I *do* remember is so hard to face..." she looked up at Marcia. "All this time I thought I would be the *last* person Shepard would ever even want to see again much less have under his command."

"Under his command, but there would probably be only one reason that you would be here........ no but that can't be right."

"*That's* what I'm doing here Counsellor...don't you see? That's what he told me earlier. That he specifically asked for me to be assigned here, *me*, the person who wiped out his last command. I mean, even though it was the Herald it was still working through me."

"Well, now that is interesting indeed. Alright then, well you have alot of things to think about, and I also have to go over some things. This first session has been quite promising and since I will need to make a report to Shepherd, he will be pleased to see that you are beginning to face your past head on."

Licinia took a deep breath and with effort pulled herself together. "Thank you, Counsellor."

"You're very welcome. And I'll call you later with the time for our next talk. I think you still need to work on dealing with this a great deal."

Licinia nodded and left.

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This way to get back home