submitted stuff

I Think I'll Go Home and Lie Very Still

I think i'll go home and lie very still
                          feigning terminal illness
Then the neighbors will all troop over to stare
                      my love, perhaps, among them.
How she'll smile while the specialists
                                          snarl in their teeth!
She perfectly well knows what ails me.

~anyonamous Egyptian writer.

She's not cute
she's a fuckin mute
raggedy ass hair
with an ass ugly face like cher
never did, stare i swear
i suggest some nair for that upper lip hair
I lost my judgement in your 3rd belly roll
slipped on the jelly fell into you now
i'm paying the toll
what the fuck was i thinking
i swallowed everything...
everything you were saying
regurgitated a flood
now i'm sinking
psychotic fuck
i should speak cluck cluck cluck
then maybe you'll understand everything
i gave was more than enough

~TM

I hate it so much that he can hurt you
i don't care if you're hurt
i'm just jealous that i don't have that power
because if i did, i would hurt you all the time
i hate it so much that he can make you happy
i don't care if you're happy
i just want that power so you would depend on me,
and i would let you down all the time
i hate it so much that you can hurt me
i'm so defenseless
i think it would be nice to have control
over myself
because if i did
i would sure as hell not love you

~niraj shah

All the sand's gone
From around the playground, and
The swings are as empty as the
Bed in your room
The children's laughter is gone
From both places.
Cold air slips in where
My sneaker's been worn thin and
Numbs my feet on the pedals

I pass your house every week,
On my way to the store.
The window, where i used to knock,
Is dusty and dark. The bush that
used to hide my bike is brown and bare.
The car you don't need at school sits
In your driveway, worn out and forgotten.

I wish my laces wouldn't catch in the spokes
As i ride up and down streets that still smell like
Summer.

~ryan bing

"a reminder"

Laid on your chest
heard your heart... doesn't rest
understand i'll never be the guy
back home you've once known
i realize...
i'll always be alone
held in your arms
i hear alarms
from your arms...
i'll be thrown?...
alarms just a reminder...
i'll always be alone
cheek on your cheek
i don't think i can give you what you seek
although i must say i'm taken back
from everything you've shown
i see now...
i'll always be alone
finger on my lips
my soul... how many more lips?...
hear me bitch and moan
just a cry...
i'll always be alone
breath on my face
i think i've found a place
my how large my heart has grown
just a large empty reminder...
i'll always be alone.
~niraj shah

I shake from my head last night's
Simple dreams as i light the day's
First Cigarette
The smoke spells
Out your name in a blue chain
That wraps around my bed before
Rising through the window
Screen and departing on
The homebound wind.

Later, i'll wander down the railroad
Tracks that brought me here:
Two lonely lines that seem to
Meet just over the horizon.
I can only do that for so long
Until i have to turn and walk
Back into the wind.

I've walked these tracks
Too many times not
To know they run alone.

~ryan bing

Her smile wraps sweetly around a
freshly lit cigarette as she tells
me not to worry. Still, i'm taken
by the sight of the needle sliding
terribly up her arm and
disappearing iside her vein, such
an obscene violation of such pure
skin. With a shudder that wracks
us both, she jerks back violently,
and the cushion of the couch seem
to consume her. I can feel her
pulse tapping weakly at her sallow
wrist, but, otherwise, she lies
still, until her eyes open,
squinting and red. She slides from
the couch, desperately crawls
across the room, and scrapes her
knees bloody across the bathroom
floor. I hold her hair back from
her delicate white neck as she gags
and chokes into the toilet, trying
to excise every impurity. When
she's done, she looks to me, her
green eyes cold like the bathroom
tile.

~ryan bing

i'm here chasing away my thoughts
because i don't want to think about you
sometimes i wish you would kill me
just so i would have a reason to hate you
just so i could be mad at you for a second
i wonder if this is depression
or just some feelings of any other adolescent

~niraj shah

Watch You Wonder

i sit here, watch you wonder, as thoughts of fear come out
today you asked for honesty, what it is i'm all about
to you i'm just a miracle, although at times i slack
you saw a different side of me, a side i thought i lacked
still here we are together, the words remain as true
still here we are together, still don't know what to do
so overjoyed with kindness, so riddled with regret
the first thing remember is the day that we first met
from day to day my phone rang, i can't believe it did
for every time i did you wrong, i felt just like a kid
a kid who doewsn't know what's right, a kid who fell and bled
as i sit and watch you think, what could be in our heads?
so take me where i'm happy, wher i'd like to be
will it be with you, well i have no clue,
we will just have to wait and see...

~joe deprospero
april 5, 1999