anDrea's PoeTrY

your sex insists that i bleed.
the morning delivers
an offering:
temporary contusions resting
on the thickness of my thigh--
(stains which abandon my flesh
only at the persistent
licking of a torrid shower)
--evidence of the thrashing,
the exultation, the absolute
in my otherwise
obscured actuality.

-ajd
3/20/01

Summer Salve

gentle lips
cracked and ravaged
left unguarded
from the relentless rays of sun,
the uncompromising salty wind
during our day
kicking around sand

our savior lies within
this blue jeans pocket

this stick of minty menthol
(of petroleum perfection)
slides over
these damaged folds of flesh
healing our wounds
soothing our minds
until your gentle lips
again
yearn to yield to mine

-ajd
1999

Sometimes He Would Call Me Tits

And I remember
When we got back.
Sitting in your car,
Terrified
That you would kiss me
And I had to pee
So bad
I thought I would die
And I kissed
So curiously
That first moment;
It was so strange tasting
The coffee and cigarettes
On your tongue, the stubble
On your lip and chin burning
My skin.

And then we stopped.

And you told me how well
I kissed.
And I wondered
If you knew
It was my first

Real kiss?

But by Wednesday
It didn't matter anymore.

We went
To that club, my idea
To have a little fun,
And sank
Into the velvet couch,
Enveloped
In black gothic music,
Surrounded by silhouettes dressed
Even darker.

You kissed me,
Forcing the smoke lingering
In your lungs
Into my own.

And breathlessly
I kissed you back
And I felt
The music inside of me:
Each note beginning to swarm.
And then someone threw up
And the music got too loud
And I don't remember
How we ended up

Collapsing
On your bed.

And that's when

My legs

Parted like the Red Sea, Baby.

And I hurt so badly
And I knew
I was a whore.

And you fell
Asleep beside me,
Snoring,
Grinding your teeth,
Frosted March winds
Blowing
The plastic window
Insulation.

And I was so cold.

And I wanted to go home.

-ajd
November 1998

Untitled

On my way home
From the grocery
A hubcap rolls
In front of my car.
Just ahead
The chaos becomes clear.
A car
Has smashed itself
Into a brick wall.
Rubbernecks slow,
Stretch to stare.
Nonchalance
Blows out my window
As I pass the scene.
An arm is all I see
Hanging out
Of what
Used to be
A family car.

-ajd
1998

My First Love

Her voice
Seemed beautiful to me
Then. She strummed her guitar,
Sang of love and peace
(Not war) on crisp
Summer nights, the grass
Cool and damp
Beneath my legs. Newspaper,
Scraps of wood crackled
And burned, whipped
Our faces with heat and light.
Our eyes wide
Glowing
Sparkled as the stars above
On clear
Summer nights. Her voice
Sounded beautiful to me
Then, she knew
All the words.

-ajd
October 1998

Still Deciding

it’s not really that I might
have a roving eye or anything
but a little fling
could set me right
in the head for once
after too many months

of dreams of other
boys and even girls
when in this world
you’re supposed to smother
every one of my thoughts.
wish you still hit the spot.

-ajd
10/20/98

My First Car (Is So G.D. Cool)

Rusty freckles on her nose
Two half-keys and one whole
On my key chain (that escapes
The ignition on bumpy roads).
Locks are too cold in PA.
Cyclops is crooked in the back.
Only two dead batteries, a
New breathing system and
Four spark plug replacements
Until her timing belt
SNAPPED
Fifty miles outside of Flagstaff.
Other wise so well-behaved
During that
Three thousand mile drive
To California.
Fixed now in the carport
(Whose pillars
Scraped her bumper last week).
She rests with
One hundred
Twelve thousand
Seven hundred
Seventy-six
Miles on her speedometer.
Time for an oil change.

-ajd
9/3/98

birthday bubble bath

I flick the drain plug
with my toe
the water whirlpools
gurgles down the pipe
with some mad thirst
as the level falls
inch by inch
I begin to feel
my own dead weight
soggy and tired
the tub cools
under my skin
the drain sips the last
of the soapy tepid water
sighing
I heave myself out
dry off
warm up

-ajd
4/14/97

Looking Into The Mirror
--for Melanie

Eyes wide
Leaning
Against
The sink
I stare
At my
Own face
And I
Wonder
How I
Ever
Got To
Be so
Ugly.
I laugh,
Throw my
Head back.
Smack it
Against
The wall.

-ajd
3/21/97

The Morning After

Pull the slim white stick
From its home,
Grasp it between my lips.
Flame sets it burning;
An orange ring of fire,
A column of ash.
Breathe in,
Do not inhale.
Taste your ashtray kisses
As they linger
On my tongue.

-ajd
3/13/97

Carousel

massive beasts miniaturized
dressed up, decorated in delicate
ribbons, colors, braids, bows
prancing, forever dancing around
the musical carousel island
rising and falling
cutting through the air
long shiny metal rods
thrust through their bodies

-ajd
1/24/97

Dinner With Dad

stabbing stabbing stabbing
the crumb-encased chicken
with the last
of my crispy french fries.
glaring glaring glaring
at the man across from me
doubting my intelligence
who stares back
with those mocking eyes
as cold as my fries.
wishing wishing wishing
they were impaled
in his soft tender breast
hidden beneath
that red flannel shirt
instead of the
silent piece of meat
lying still on my plate.

-ajd
1/17/97

I wash myself clean.
Oh-
That fragrance swims through me.
I can remember….

You become entangled
In every thought. Every feeling
Is suddenly of you.
This soap slides over
My skin. I close my eyes.
I want to die.
Your face-lovely-
All I can see.

I wash myself clean,
Though not of you.

-ajd
7/18/96

emaIL me!

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last updated march 28, 2001