The Biggest Heartache in Town

By Meloira

Part Five

The cold air felt good after the suffocating atmosphere of the hospital. The phone call from Amanda had set him on edge. Ever since his own shooting at the hands of Grant, Carl had grown to despise hospitals. The smells, the sounds, the never-ending tests. No matter how much time passed, these things would be with him forever. So, when Amanda told him Vic had been shot, all the horrible memories returned. If it hadn’t been Vicky, Carl wouldn’t have bothered coming to Bay City yet again.

Seeing his lovely Vic hooked up to all those machines had broken his heart. She’d looked so tiny and frail in that sterile bed with what seemed like dozens of tubes stuck in her this way and that. Her face had been pale and her eyes blotched and bruised. He’d wanted to hold her in his arms and protect her, as Ryan would have done.

The doctors had been optimistically guarded about her prognosis. Yes, she had pulled through the surgery, but they weren’t sure when she’d come out of the coma. Carl knew the doublespeak well.

After seeing her, he’d spent some time with Jake and Paulina in quiet conversation. His heart had gone out to Jake. Waiting had never been one of Jake’s stronger points.

Turning the corner, Carl took a look around. Ah, bay City. Once again Vicky had lured him back. He only wished it could’ve been under more promising conditions.

Carl stomped the snow from his hiking boots as he climbed the stairs to the entrance of Amanda’s building. He had to admit she’d made herself a nice home. It must have taken a bit of nerve to leave the mansion, and one thing Amanda Cory possessed was nerve. He’d come to know her well since September. They’d become friends and over the course of their getting to know one another he’d realized she was, in many ways, still an insecure little girl. If only he could give her what she needed most.

Once he was standing in front of Amanda’s front door, Carl realized he should’ve asked for a key. More than likely neither she nor Lorna would be awake. At least he hoped Lorna was still asleep. She’d been absolutely unbearable to live with these past weeks and it was always a mistake to find yourself in the same room during her first waking hours.

"Open sesame," he muttered in vain. Ah well, he supposed the damn thing wasn’t going to open on it’s own. It was time for a creative solution.

Reaching inside his heavy coat, Carl withdrew a small packet and selected a tool. The tools had been used rarely over the years, and were quite illegal for the typical private citizen. However, he had to concede they were infinitely handy and never left home without them.

Deftly, Carl applied his nearly forgotten skills to Amanda’s door. Upon hearing a satisfying click, he grinned. It was pleasing to know he hadn’t lost his touch.

Quiet assailed him as he pushed his way in and removed his wet coat.

"Hello?" No answer. Perhaps they’d left for lunch without him. Carl groaned in despair. He hoped they hadn’t gone without him. He was starving and knew there was precious little in the fridge.

Rounding the end of the couch he came upon a sight that took his breath away. Next to the bookcase sat a small child. With jet-black curls and tiny turned up nose, she was a vision to behold. His Norie. Carl smiled as his heart melted for the millionth time. His sweet Norie had been one of his many saving graces during the dark time of his recovery. Daily he thanked whatever gods had granted him such a treasure.

He kept quiet, content to merely watch her as she turned the pages of a large book. The child adored books and could spend hours thumbing through his extensive collection at home. The only thing she enjoyed more was him reading to her. He love to hear her girlish giggle and watch her face light up while he read from one of her favorite books. She was such a bright child who questioned him at every turn and she owned his heart.

"Daddy?"

Dark eyes met his from across the room. Carl held out his arms and swept her up into the air.

"Oh my little heart, how are we this morning?"

Tiny little arms went around his neck. "Fine."

"Did you sleep well?"

Black curls bobbed up and down in an affirmative answer.

"Even though you had to share with Lorna? I bet she snores!"

"No," his daughter whispered. "Not like you."

"Me? I snore?" he laughed. "For that you get to meet the kissy monster." Carl rained kisses over her small body as she screamed and wriggled in delight. How he loved this child!

"So my darling, I see we have our pjs on. Is Lorna still asleep?"

"Yep."

"And Amanda?"

"Yep."

"Yep. What say we wake ‘em up, eh?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay!" Carl dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Should we use ice or water?"

The little girl thought for a moment. "Ice!" Norie scrambled down from her father’s hold, ready to run to the kitchen. Halfway there she stopped and whirled back to her father with a look a doubt. "Not Lornie though."

"Not Lorna? Why ever not?" Carl held back his laughter at the four-year-old’s serious expression.

"She’ll be mad and yell." Norie jumped from foot to foot, eager to continue the game.

"Hmmm, you’re right. Okay then. We can’t be mean to her. So instead, we’ll dump a bucket of ice down…"

"Mandy’s pants!"

Father and daughter ran to the kitchen, prepared to make mischief.

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Rachel had called herself many things since fleeing the hospital. However, berating herself hadn’t gotten her anywhere. She was still in the same quandary she’d rushed home in that morning.

Carl.

Why did everything in her life always boil down to that man? That bull-headed, infuriating, damn lovable old man. Dear Lord, could she ever stop loving him?

She stood at the terrace doors staring at the falling snow. Behind her, the darkened living room was silent. Rachel hated it, hated what her home had become since the loss of Carl. Life and laughter and happiness had become scarce in her sanctuary. For a few brief months, she’d foolishly believed she could change things, but she’d been stumped and spurned at every turn. So, in the end, she’d thrown in the towel.

Until today.

Seeing Carl had brought it all back. All the love, fear and desire.

Rachel shivered and closed her eyes in a vain attempt to block out the memory of Carl and Amanda.

Carl and Amanda running to one another. Carl holding her daughter ever so tenderly in his arms. Their lips meeting in a sweet kiss. Rachel’s heart breaking. What she’d seen had been so wrong. She should have been the one his arms were welcoming home. Amanda didn’t belong there. What right did she have to be comforted by Carl?

Unless, of course, they were a couple. That niggling little scenario refused to let Rachel be.

"Oh no," she moaned and moved from the drafty door to the fireplace. Her stomach clenched in pain. Could it be possible Amanda and Carl were together? Rachel tried to remember any little sign she might have missed. She had chalked up her daughter’s frequent out of town trips to business. At Christmas there had been the never-ending stream of gifts delivered to her daughter’s apartment, but she had refused to divulge her admirer’s name.

The more she thought about it, the more possibilities she found. Every time she had mentioned Carl to Amanda, she’d manage to avoid the subject or change it altogether. Amanda had never asked about Rachel’s ongoing search for the man either. In fact, Amanda hadn’t been as open with her as in the past.

But Carl? She refused to believe he and Amanda were in a relationship. It was impossible. She was sure they’d had little contact since the divorce, but then she really didn’t have any guarantees, did she? Strange things are always bound to happen. So, that left only one question. How?

‘How’ had pounded away at her until she cold barely think. How? How did they come to such an intimate moment as the one she’d witnessed? It must have started in September when Carl had returned to Bay City for the christening. Amanda had acted quite odd that weekend.

Absentmindedly, Rachel placed her empty glass on the mantel. Carl had rebuffed her that weekend too. Therefore, if the two were a couple that meant he wanted it. Hell, he may have been the one to initiate the relationship and it could have been going on under her nose for God knows how long. Maybe that was why he’d said no to her. How could she have been so foolish? Just because she would love him forever didn’t mean he would do the same.

Rachel stared into the blazing fire, but could not feel its warmth. Today she’d lost yet another piece of her heart.

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