Finders Keepers

Standing in the center of her new office, Jules let herself ponder the ramifications of the step she’d taken. Living so close to her patient would afford her a better opportunity to study the aftereffects of her groundbreaking procedure. Not only would it afford Jacob and his family peace of mind, but she’d sleep better as well. Perfectly reasonable.

Hell and damnation, who did she think she was fooling? Her heart understood her reasons even if her brain refused to cooperate. She was doing this for one reason--HIM—the man who’d changed her life with the lure of his smile and the wink of an eye.

Lowering herself into the desk chair, Jules winced as muscles flared in protest. Her life had settled into a routine in the last weeks. Most of her week was spent at BCUH easing herself into a new schedule, but the bulk of her time was devoted to Jacob. Just yesterday he’d insisted she relearn the joys of horseback riding. Now her body felt as though it had been pushed through a strainer and left for dead. As much as she’d enjoyed herself, there was no way he was getting her on a horse again.

The need to hear his friendly voice brought her hand to the phone.

"Jules?"

"Dr. Mullinax." She let the receiver fall back to the cradle and settled against the soft leather with an inward sigh. "Please come in. What can I do for you today?"

"I wanted, I just thought I’d stop by to see if you needed anything."

Jules noticed how his hands were clenching and unclenching in front of him. The man’s face was wet with sweat and he couldn’t bring his eyes to meet her. This wasn’t going to go well.

"Everything is fine." Jules leaned forward. "That isn’t why you’re really here."

"No," Nate gulped. "Ah, you see, I have these tickets and no one to go with me and…"

"Nate, just say it." Jules waited for the inevitable.

The pain was his constant companion.

Every morning he opened his eyes with the hope he’d be pain free.

Today was not his lucky day.

He’d feigned sleep while Rachel prepared for another early day at work. He’d become quite adept at hiding his headaches and knew it would hurt her if she found him out. But he simply couldn’t tell her, something wouldn’t let him.

As soon as he knew she’d left the house, Carl crawled from the bed to the bathroom only to be laid low by another wave of pain. If only the throbbing in his head would go away. So much was left undone, so much left to rediscover, and none of that could be done sprawled on his bathroom floor.

"Grandpa?"

Remy’s voice was a welcome noise in his jumbled brain. In the last months she’d become his ally and protector.

"Let me cut this off." The overhead light dimmed. "Better?" She sat next to him on the rug and stroked his loose hair. "When I ran into the twins and the nanny downstairs, I figured you were sick. I’d harp on you to tell Rachel, but since you’re looking kinda bad I’ll skip the lecture."

And so they sat in companionable silence, both of them trying to ignore his pain.

"What I’m trying to say, ah, ask is … would you consider joining me for dinner? Tonight?"

Jules knew this would happen sooner or later. Nate had been far too sweet to her for her to think otherwise. Before Jacob she would have welcomed another man’s advances with an open heart. Nate was very likable and possessed qualities that once would have made her heart flutter. Unfortunately, too many things had happened for her to fall into the appealing trap of caring for him.

"Nate," she began only to be cut off by the opening of her office door.

"Oops, I’m sorry. Am I interrupting?"

For once Jules was glad to see Rachel. "No, no come on in Rachel. Dr. Mullinax and I were only engaging in shop talk." Jules watched Nate’s face crumble. Damn but she’d never been the instigator of that look. Usually she was on the receiving end.

"Of course you’re not interrupting Mrs. Hutchins. How’s the family?"

"We’re all fine."

"Good, good." Nate backed to the door, eyes on the ground. "I’ll see both of you later. I’m sure there’s some sort of work I need to be doing."

"Strange little man," Rachel remarked after he’d left. "Maybe now we know the reason behind the constant staff rotation."

"He’s not so terrible. Please have a seat Rachel. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Well," Rachel said as she lowered herself into one of the leather chairs, "I thought it was about time I stopped by to see your new office."

"What do you think?"

"Not bad. After reading Jake’s write-up in the Herald, you’d think they’d given you an entire wing," she laughed.

"They wanted to, but I wouldn’t let them. Although we may need to expand as my patient load increases."

"It’s rather fitting they put you in the Ryan Harrison wing."

"I had no idea until Nate told me. I was surprised to say the least. I never suspected Carl had a grown son." The discovery had shook her more than meeting the twins. Such heartache the man must have suffered.

"Yes, Ryan was the apple of his father’s eye, and you would have been hard pressed to find a better man. I suppose I should be grateful for Carl’s amnesia under the circumstances."

Jules felt the sadness in Rachel’s words. "Does he not remember Ryan?"

"Carl’s memory can still be a little patchy. I suppose he’s told you though." Rachel plowed on, warming to the topic. "He can remember the last years of Ryan’s life and how he died, but the less pleasant aspects of it all seem to be blocked. But, there are other things that mystify me."

"Such as?"

"Perry. It’s as though Perry’s been wiped clean from his memory."

"Perry?"

"Another son. He died long before Carl and I ever considered loving one another. I tried for the longest time to coax it from him, but I eventually had to come right out and tell him."

The guilt Jules believed she’d rid herself of came back full force. "Has he sought help?" The question sounded ridiculous even to her own ears. Her Jacob had been fiercely independent from the moment they’d laid eyes on one another. She couldn’t imagine him seeing a psychiatrist.

"No," Rachel confirmed, "not yet. I haven’t even talked to him about it. He’s just so insistent on doing it himself and I don’t even want to think of the headaches."

Jules ears pricked up at the word. "How often does he have them?"

"Oh, not as frequent as when he first came home. At first I worried they were a sign the tumor was returning."

"And now you’re not so sure." Rachel’s worry touched her. Jacob had returned to a woman with a caring soul.

"No. Now I think it may all go deeper. It’s just an idea, but maybe the headaches were his unconscious way of blocking something from the past. Something he’s afraid of or too ashamed to face." Rachel looked at Jules. "What do you think?"

"I-I probably shouldn’t hazard a guess just yet. I’ve yet to examine him myself."

Rachel leaned toward her and spoke in hushed tones. "My husband has a checkered past."

Such a polite way to put it Jules thought. She’d read all the info she could get on the man and knew what he’d been. Checkered just didn’t cover it. "So you think he’s suppressing certain ‘bad’ memories and the stress of it manifested itself in the form of headaches."

"It’s only a theory."

"There’s so much we don’t know about ourselves. The human machine is both an amazing and eternally frustrating creation. I poured the years I spent developing my skills and technique into your husband in order to save him. Sacrifices were made, and for that I apologize. I had no other option."

"You did the right thing in helping Carl. So many nights I prayed he would return to me. So many times when I thought I could feel him out there reaching for me. I never gave up hope he was still alive, and I have you to thank."

Jules rose automatically as Rachel crossed behind the desk and took her into a hug.

"I only hope that someday you’ll find someone as wonderful as Carl. Ah, you’re blushing. Perhaps you’ve already found your someone in Chief Mullinax."

"Nate?" Jules’ voice squeaked. Oh, if Rachel only knew.

"I saw the way he was gazing at you. Not to mention how he hung on your every word at the cookout a few weeks ago. I think he’s smitten."

"I hate to spoil your fun Rachel, but Nate and I are colleagues. Gaze indeed," she sniffed. "You’re hopeless."

"Hopeful. I’m eternally hopeful. I’m also late."

"Meeting?"

"How’d you guess?"

"Lucky I suppose." She walked Rachel to the door. "Now that I’m here I promise I will take care of him."

"I know you will." With a squeeze of Jules’ hand, Rachel was gone.

Jules leaned against the door with a heavy sigh. Headaches and memories and wives, oh my. Jules just knew it wasn’t good. And why in the world did she have to like Rachel?