Chapter 9
Julia gulped as everyone just sat there, in complete silence. She had just finished telling them about her appointment and the surgery, and everyone just went speechless. No one talked for at least a minute, and than Howie spoke up. "So...you mean...that there is a chance you won't survive the surgery." Julia nodded, biting her lip to keep the tears from falling. Danni was squirming around on her lap, tugging at her red curls. She looked down into Danni's eyes which was a mistake, because than she felt a tear slide down her cheek and it landed on Danni's forehead. She hoped this surgery worked out. The doctor had called her a hour ago, confirming that she needed surgery, and she told him she would call back later that day with her choice. "If I don't take the surgery, I'll only live for a few months. But, if I don't survive, than well, its over..." Julia said shakily. "Oh god..." She heard A.J. moan. Reiannah had a arm wrapped around his shoulder for reassurance, his face was buried into his hands, and he seemed to be deep in thought. Everyone was there. All five of the Backstreet Boys, Leighanne, Kristen, and Reiannah. They all looked upset and torn and until than she didn't realize how much they cared.
"Guys, should I take the surgery?" Julia finally asked. "Well of course, its your only chance right?" Kristen pointed out. "Yeah, but if she doesn't survive...than its over. Just like that. She could either die this week or eighty years from now." Howie said. "It all comes down to the surgery." Nick chimed in. "So its settled...the surgery?" Julia asked. There were solemn nods from all around, and Julia took a deep breath trying to be strong for everyone.
* * *
It was set, two days the surgery would take place. Julia knew for the next two days would be devoted to Danni, Howie and her friends. It might be her last with them.
* * *
The two days consisted of going to park, spending time in the front of the fire, A.J. and Julia playing with Danni non-stop. Through those two days no one mentioned the surgery or what they were about to endure. Her and Howie made love continously, and it seemed as if Howie was taking much longer than he ususally did. He would go slower, and more gently, as if savoring her touch. He was really afraid she was going to die. She had a good chance of living, god couldn't hate her that much. Enough to give her a bad family, abuse, a early preganancy, AND a early death. No, he would let her live happily. She wasn't a burden, she couldn't be. She spent hours with Nick playing video games, Danni on her lap, A.J. and her discussing things. She quadrupled date with Leighanne, Brian, Kristen, Kevin, Reiannah, and A.J. with her and Howie leaving poor Nick to babysit Danni. It had been a fulfilling two days and it was now time for the BIG day.
Howie and A.J. had driven her to hospital, Danni in the carseat in the back with A.J. Before she went into operating room, she hugged A.J., kissed Howie lovingly, and spent a good five minutes alone with Danni, telling her that mommy would come back. She was told the others would be coming down while her surgery was taking place.
As she changed into her gown, she prayed that it would go well. She really didn't want to die. She wanted to get better. Her symptoms got much worse in the past five days, she had been vomiting constantly, and knew that if she didn't get the surgery she would have had to have been admitted to the hospital anyway. She closed her eyes and clasped her hands together and for the first time in a very long time, she spoke to HIM. "God, I don't know if you exist. I guess I never really let myself believe in you, but right now I can only think of to believe in love and friendship, but that isn't assuring me. So your my back-up. PLEASE let me survive this. I want to see Danni grow up...I want to be with Howie...I finally got the life I've always wanted...and...it might end. Please, I know you don't hate me this much. You couldn't. Look, if you don't let me survive at least do me this favor, if you have any deceny, take care of Danni. She's everything. I know A.J. will, and the others, but I want her to be happy. Make sure she lives out a good life, one that I couldn't have. Please." As she finished the doctor came in and escorted her to her future...