The Life Of Satori M (This Time Revised to Include Himself)

Mel was originally christened Vandje. His clearest recollection into his childhood was probably the time he spent in the Kalahari where he learned to cook turtles. They are not killed ,  just put  in hot water and alive. This had an adverse effect on his latter life. Therapy included Angel in Krakow, a Polish pick-me-up which turned to be his favorite movie. He also had a soft spot for Oprah. When asked by a close friend once if he watched the show, he responded: "Yes, she changes my life every Thursday"

His childhood was one of self denial and bad body language.

He started schooling 1990 and there he excelled
in abstract art but flunked due to a serious bad handwriting. He lost his painting ability after a traumatic attempt to produce a painting he titled Pregnant Cats in the Glove Compartment. The SPCA was not impressed.

In his high school years, he was introduced to South Park and National Geographic Magazine. Besides picking up bad words and posters of pygmy girls, he was not much of an academic and was more comfortable in the arts. After starring in a school play The Wizard Of Oz, he modernized part of the play and renamed it Alice in Gangland. School management distanced itself from it. It was attended by fewer people than Marilyn Manson's concert at the Vatican that same year.

By this time, he had withdrawn his religious beliefs for hardcore vitamins and occasional amphetamines. According to one of his most famous satoris, the existence of a divine being
was irrelevant: who cleans the Universe after a Curri-Cup weekend was more important. He was also looking for hypothesis why watches are always advertised at 10h10. He delivered a good theory that was published on several street pavements and toilet walls.

His account about his love life is somewhat dodgy. What is certain is between the years 1997 and 2003, he met someone who left a lasting impression on him. It is suspected she had the emotional warmth of a carrot and led him to Linken Park. His varsity roommate delivered a heart drenching speech that rivaled the emotional intensity of a Venezuelan soap opera at his funeral and suddenly, as if under some kind of momentary demonic possession he screamed, "And for crying out loud, who the hell is this Julia he kept on calling in his sleep?!"

During his teenage years, Melvin had developed a deep interest in the hippy era. After reading Jack Kerouac's On The Road, he had experimented with the coke-and-aspirin-mix which left him with a headache and a pieces of a broken Coca Cola bottle in his nose. In search for self definition, he started reading the works of Rene Descartes and F Nietzsche. He fell in love with the
concepts of Existentialism and antagonism. He started laying out the ground principles of
his own belief system: which he refused to either classify or admit association with it. He however called his religion General Bad-ism. After being accused of Devil-Worshiping, he was heard saying: "Devil worshipping has changed considerably in the last two decades, its hard enough finding live chickens in Pretoria, why anyone would accuse me of that is beyond me."

After his death, however, secret diaries were found, along with a half
decaying cat corpse, under his bed. Along came the publications of his post gothic-modernism books:

What virginity could mean to Cabbages
Zulu Sushi
Hurt me again, Little One!
Homo Tuksabin
Contemporary Withcraft in Taaibos
Ed and Lu
The Virgo Anomaly
Margheritha Peak
My Chemical Julia
Where To Shop and Picnic In Heaven

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Some of the last entries to his diary indicate that he was suffering from a state of a rare form of euphoric depression. They read:

I came to my flat thinking I was drunk, but there is something I long
for so much that it brings me grieve, obviously I am not drunk enough. And
so I'm headed back to the bar, if I can find the door. By the way, do drunk people act drunk in their dreams?

In My Chemical Julia, he is again quoted

" And in my darkest hour, I refuse to dishonor my suffering by a mere cowardly striking of a match that burns with no passion. I shall remain right here in this dark closet, the skeleton I am. And woe me not for I have found something soft to sit on, A Golden Slipper In Your Closet¡ and what a collection of shoes you have here!" Security at Madelief was soon alerted.

By this time, he was consumed by malnutrition and an irrational fear for
the Marburg virus. He started his long journey which his pen-pal (from Nepal, calling himself Janavi) described as The Middle Path. Having to get rid of his occasional nicotine cravings and his disappointment for not having a cigarette lighter on his i-pod , he retreated into a monastic lifestyle. This included free lunch on Tuesday with the Bhakti Yoga society.

He once claimed to his flatmates that he did not eat any meat. Some reports, on the contrary, say he occasionally raided the fridge for frozen pork
which he rubbed against his tummy till he couldn¡¯t stop giggling.

One of his university girlfriends captured his life in one passionate breath: ¡亱Melvin was a lover of life. Passionate, sensual and a highly evolved emotional and artistic being. He was a connoisseur of the finer things, he read good books, fondled the statue of David in the Merensky and lived a full life. Hell, even cutting his toenails was a romantic experience to him. Grieve not, and stop offering me fudge!¡亇

On his tombstone, the engravings stand: Excuse my dust. Something he qouted from D Parker.

www.oocities.org/melvindimple