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To Smart Women Everywhere

1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde. --Dolly Parton

2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. --Erica Jong

3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. --Rita Rudner

4. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. --Rita Rudner

5. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. --Erma Bombeck

6. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. --Sue Grafton

7. I'm not going to vacuum till Sears makes one you can ride on. --Roseanne Barr

8. I think, therefore I'm single. -- Lizz Winstead

9. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. --Elayne Boosler

10. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
--Maryon Pearson

11. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner

12. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. -- Margaret Thatcher

13. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. --Gloria Steinem

14. Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. --Gloria Steinem

15. I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband: I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
--Marie Corelli

16. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
--Baroness Edith Summerskill

17. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? --Linda Ellerbee

18. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. --Zsa Zsa Gabor

19. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. --Eleanor Roosevelt

 

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