THE DOGS OF WAR
By Nokoru
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, but are the property of Watasuki Nobuhiro, Jump Comics, and any other respective owners I have not mentioned here. I give all credit to them and their inspirations. I am only writing this fan fiction for the amusement of myself and others. I do not wish to cause any harm to the owners’ original intent. Also, if any reader should feel that my interpretation of historical accounts shows any disrespect, please realize that this is a fiction piece. I do not mean any harm to any history, but I in fact adore it.
Author’s Note: Same things apply here, blah blah. ^^ I would love any questions, comments, or even compliments muchly. Flames and complaints will be doused with water and swept away with the ungenki things. Please enjoy~! ^_^
Chapter 3
Rays of sun emerged from behind the trees as the sun still remained surreptitiously in their shelter. The fingers of light touched the sky, melting the dark night into lighter colours. The fireflies settled on the grass, yielding their nocturnal wanderings to the inevitable day. Just like death.
Yes, it was an odd thought; probably disturbing to some people. Yet, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking such an involuntary thought. I shrugged and turned my gaze back to the fading stars and growing sun. I couldn’t suppress it and let it stagnate inside my mind. I would just let the thought go - let it slip from the hands of my mind just as purely as it had been grasped by them.
I smiled as the sound of footsteps broke through, and my thoughts dissipated. I kept my eyes on the horizon as the person took his place on the porch next to me without asking - without having to ask. Long, flowing obsidian hair bordering eyes that could pierce my soul if I wasn’t careful, Hijikata-san was as familiar to me as the wind. If they did pierce into my soul, I don’t know what I could hide from him - what I would need to hide.
“It’s a beautiful morning today.” My voice came as a surprise to even myself. Taking a deep breath, I mentally shrugged the surprise away. It didn’t matter if I had shattered the silence that clung over us; it certainly wasn’t the first time I had done so.
“Yes,” came the low reply, as if commenting on whether the sun was rising or not.
A smile sketched on my lips, I kept my gaze on the trees, somehow seeing past them - to their very souls. I let seconds fly by, knowing that they were not wasted, as I collected my words before I spoke. And when I did, it sounded soft and distant, even to myself.
“Hijikata-san…” The trees rustled in the wind’s soft, but forceful caresses. “If I die before you,…” I turned my eyes to look into the usually stern ones next to me, knowing that I could not finish the sentence without looking into the man’s face. “I will wait for you…” I felt the wind reach me, tossing my hair aside, and the sun hit my face, illuminating it with warmth. “Even if it takes all eternity.”
I closed my eyes and turned my face to the sun. The warmth felt nice to next to my smile. Suddenly, I felt hands grab my arms and pull me back into an embrace with a gentle, yet firm tug. I sat there, feeling Hijikata-san’s heart pour its emotion all across my back. I leaned my cheek on his strong arm. It was far from the warmth of the sun, but the soul of my friend was much dearer to my heart.
“Baka,” came the soft sounds from deep within his chest.
I laughed a bit, before ending it with a small cough. “I know.” Looking up, I met Hijikata-san’s gaze behind me. “I must be to have someone like you tease me so much.”
I saw the question in his brow; the way his eyes focused as if he could find the answer somewhere in my face. Feeling the smile on my face grow by centimeters, I heard the words that floated past his lips. “Tease you?” Yes, sometimes, only sometimes, even I could tell what the great Hijikata-san thought before he spoke his mind.
And I laughed, as I had not laughed yet this morning. It shook my shoulders and blew the dust from my heart. I could even feel tears forming at the edge where my cheek met my eye. And I laughed. With my smile still evident in my voice, I replied, “When you were younger, you used to give me such a hassle about everything.” Putting on the most serious face I could muster and imitating Hijikata-san none too well, I continued, “But I was younger then, and it was for my own good.” No sooner had I finished the act then my smile broke free from beneath my features.
But there was a sudden silence on the other end - a mournful one. I didn’t have to look into his face to see why; I already knew. If those arms could hold me forever, away from the perils of the real world, they would. Turning my face back to the trees in the distance, I rested it back against the strong arm. He was worried that it wasn’t strong enough - knew that it wasn’t. I touched the arm with my hand, as frail as it seemed against such strength, and stroked in a repetitive motion - as if to say “don’t worry; it’s more than strong enough.” I didn’t speak anything aloud, though. I don’t think it needed to be said. Some things just have to be left as they are.
Something inside my heart told me that I couldn’t just brush off his worries with a simple joke this time. I could feel the light of my smile dim with a small tone of sadness as I pushed gently away from the strong embrace and turned to look into that face with features set in concern. Slowly, I lifted my hands up to that face, touching either side with the softness and firmness of life. Eyes intense, I opened my mouth and breathed the words “I’m fine.”
Suddenly, Hijikata-san’s face of concern transformed into a stern frown as I felt his hands grab hold of my wrists unyieldingly. And he stood there, watching my widened eyes and my smile disappear from my face. “You are not well, Okita-kun.” The growl from within his throat shattered through my ears and attacked my heart.
If time had never touched my soul before then, I felt it ravage its aging powers against me at that very moment. Mortality suddenly became a taste and sensation close enough to choke on, with no escape. And inside Hijikata-san’s iron grip, I felt my hands tense in reaction to the freezing hand of death upon my heart. If those piercing eyes saw any amount of fear in my eyes, they never let on.
Slowly, bit by bit, my fingers lowered, relaxing and letting the rigid feeling drain out drop by drop. My eyes returned, gradually, to their normal size, any fear encased inside their broken orbs fluttering away piece by piece. I came to terms with this mortality, this inevitability of death unguided by war’s hands. All the while, the austere gaze remained set in the stone of Hijikata-san’s face and his strength powered by the winds of his soul never faltered.
“You need rest. You didn’t sleep last night; I’m not deaf.” His grip tightened, trembling - pouring concern across my hands and into my soul so thick and tangible I could have suffocated under it. “I heard you coughing all night. How many nights now, Okita-kun?” If Hijikata-san would have allowed himself to shed a single tear in front of a Shinsengumi member, his soul would have flooded with them by now. “How many nights? And you’re fine?”
I smiled with a strength my soul had never known before, staring straight into his heart through his piercing eyes with a softness close to tears. Pulling back against his fierce grasp, my hands broke free gently, only leaving his contact for seconds before returning to his wrists. His arms may not have been strong enough to shield me from the world, but my hands were strong enough to bear the burden the world has given me - that I have chosen. My mouth opened, speaking to him, telling him what he needed to hear. “I will go rest.”
Gladly allowing seconds to slip by before I removed my hands from his arms, I stood, walking in the direction of my room. The taps of my feet were only soft sighs compared to the volumes of emotion I had just heard. Opening the door with the care of someone who had once seen its soul, I wandered inside the darkened room only lit by sparing sunlight. I turned around and closed the door with the same respect. Making my way to my bed, my hands, the same strong hands that had broken away from that grasp with love and understanding, reached up to undo my hair. It whispered about my shoulders and touched my back like a long lost friend, even though it had only been put up a few hours ago.
Crawling into bed, I felt my eyes drift close as the sounds of summer flooded my senses. Never could I remember a time which I had fallen as fast asleep as I had then, or would in future events. My body may have become weak, but my soul has never been stronger. And in my dreams, I saw a girl - the same girl with the golden kimono, crimson stains, and navy ball. I asked her if I was supposed to come home now, to which she answered, “Not yet… not yet.”
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