So its been a while since i updated this thing. partially because im lazy and partially because i am busy. Nothing really has been goign on thats been taht important since my birthday anyways so... My birthday was probably the best one ive had in a long time, hung out with good friends and had an awesome time, and got completely wasted. couldnt ask for much more. Since my birthday though i feel everything slowly coming together, i have a new job, rugby was going well, and school finally seemed ok. Its so great to be working again, i felt so lazy and it was rather depressing sitting around all day and having stuff to do but no motivation to do it. Working has always helped me get my shit together and do better in school and have more focus all around in life.
I seem to be attracted to sports that aren't really mainstream. I loved wrestling in high school and now ive been playing rugby. its a crazy game, its just hitting and running. i tend to like the hitting more than the running but what are you gonna do. if you ever have the chance to play i suggest you give it a shot.
I dont really have much else to say except that life is good right now, being 21 makes me finally feel like i have so many more options of things to do and i can't wait for summer to start.
February 6, 2005
Well today was the super bowl. Patriots won again, sucks to be philly. School is in full swing and it sucks, i had my first exam, that was real fun, i studied for three hours with some friends before the test and still felt unprepared. oh well its only the first test. never ever take any astronomy classes, even when the advisors and other people tell you they are easy. cause they suck.
Rugby started last week on thursday and im still sore today. I thought no practice would ever compare to a wrestling one, i guess i was wrong. This is goin to be a good experience for me, i missed playing sports, it was about the only thing in high school that i liked so maybe it will make shitty 'ol uic better. Ill let you all know when my first game is, it should be an interesting experience.
This week looks pretty normal, nothing big going on for school, rugby on tues and thurs. aside from that homework and working out its just a normal week. Life has been pretty calm lately. which is a pretty good thing. although i have learned that smells can actually make me sick. it was gross. i wont even go into detail.
I've decided i will never understand people's logic. communication is a key part of survival and the fact that a lot of people i know really can't communicate with out problems arising scares me. i dont know if its age, common sense, or just lack of caring but whatever it is i wish people would change their ways. oh well like that would ever happen. aside from these minor details in my life there is absolutely nothing else going on that is worthwhile. maybe next time ill have a fun story for you.
January 23, 2005
Well this is the first deep thought of the new year. School is incredibly lame but is going fast so thats a plus. There is about a foot of snow on the ground and i am really starting to question how we played in this crap and enjoyed the bitter temperatures just so we could beat the crap out of each other with snow. i would kill to go back to those times. Last night we all got wasted and walked to some shitty party then left there and went to gretchyn's and played some drinking games. it was a good night that ended with everyone singing "sweet home chicago" and then kremer climbing on top of someones car on the middle of webster and rolling down it. it was hilarious. I think i might play rugby at uic this year. i feel like i need to accomplish something and if nobody is going to hire me for a job i might as well try a sport. ??someone told me last week that i had become bitter, i laughed. maybe i wouldn't be bitter if they didn't go off the deep end and start acting all fucked up. i mean come on who leaves five minutes before someones birthday and just walks out without saying goodbye when you are in the same room as the person? sometimes i wonder what people are thinking. whatever people suck. certain people prove themselves more as friends and other disprove themselves on a daily basis so what are you gonna do. im not gonna worry myself over it. oh well. on to some weird thoughts.
I was bored and was thinking of weird things and came up with a question that interested me. If you are blind and have never before seen anything in this world we live in, what do you dream when you sleep? you have no idea what anything looks like in reality so do you conjure your own images based on what you interpret from your senses? Because if thats the way it is then when you sleep you really aren't blind anymore. Or do the dreams that you have reflect your daily experiences wihtout sight? its really messed up if you think about it.
December 28, 2004
The world is catching me by surprise daily with the events of my life. i feel like sometimes i have the dreaded "shit cloud" that bill talks about over my head. Stupid shit keeps happening at my apartment, stuff that should be avoided and stuff that should never happen in the first place. Things have been broken, destroyed, STOLEN, and similar things have happened to peoples understanding. i understand accidents happen but in all reality with proper respect none of these "accidents" would have even occured. Certain things just can't be fixed with a monetary or material fix, its the circumstance of it all that is what makes these things worse. Yesterday i came to find out that i am missing 9 dvds, not one or two but 9. So someone is stealing from me. The sad part is that i know 99 percent of the people that come over here and for them to even think about stealing from me kills me. It may have been a random person that i met for the first time at one of our parties but ill never know. It's a shame when you have to start hiding things and locking your own goods and valuables up so that people you invite into your home and allow them to have a seemingly carefree good time are going to go behind your back and steal from you. Its sad. Things are just getting rediculous and i hope the new year brings more fortune than the end up this year. Maybe if the world was right whoever did this would just put what they took back and everythign could just be put behind me, but since the world is full of shitstains that is highly unlikely.
I started an actual journal on paper this week. i have never had such a thing and found that writing is more powerful a creative outlet than i ever imagined. it really gives you a sense of who you are and the control you really do have over things in your life. ive been in a very creative mood lately and feel like taking on new projects but have no idea where to start.
I started reading "Angels and Demons" tonight and it kept my attention for two and a half hours, how come school work can't do that. dont these stupid colleges realize that if they appealed slightly to a students interests that they would excel in their studies. i have been in college for 2 and a half years and have yet to learn something that will help me with my major or any other aspect of my life in the future. What the fuck is the point of this crap? why am i learning shit that wont help me, i understand people need to get paid but i think that if im gonna pay good money to go to school i should take whatever classes i want and not have to worry about meeting requirements unless they concern my major. School isn't an institution anymore, its an industry. and its sad that it has come to that, pretty soon a degree is gonna be necessary to work at burger king. Gimme a break. Just cause you go to college doesn't make you smart, i meet fucking retards every day that have degrees but they would be lucky if they could find their way out of a room with four open doors. education is an important aspect of our world but the methods used today are becomming more questionable as the years pass.
So much more to say, but i guess i better leave some stuff for future updates.
November 9, 2004
It's kinda weird how our group has a relatively good amount of drama and it usually never concerns me. I dont know if its a good thing or bad thing at the moment though. Bill coming into town was cool. Its nice to see that when some people who call themselves your friends come into town they make an effort to hang out with you. oh well some things will never change. If you can't tell I am starting to reach a boiling point with people lately. Sometimes i just wonder why people do the crap they do. I wish i could have more positive things to write about when i do this but lately people just seem to get me aggravated. Oh well, well see what comes this weekend. it will either be drama free or drama full so it should be interesting.
On a lighter side of life i took my basic skills test for teaching on saturday. It was early, 730am, but yet i felt real good about it. Its about the only thing school related i felt good about in the past couple weeks. So i should get the results soon and as long as i passed i can continue to take the requirements neccesary to be a teacher. So im excited about that. Im far enough behind in school to where it just feels good to push through the little things and move ahead. Other than that nothing is happening that is worth noting on here.
November 3, 2004
Well things have been mellow lately. Saturdays seem to be the chill nights lately. I miss wild weekends like we used to have. Bill is supposed to be coming in this weekend thus something weird will probably happen. Jose is supposed to be going out of town this weekend, no big loss there. It not like he hangs out with us anymore he just comes over to fill in the time and mooch beer before he ditches us to go to other parties and not call or invite anyone. damn he sucks. but anyways. school is lame. i can't wiat till this semester is over. Today i was actually productive and feel really good about it. i got a paper done, cleaned the apartment, washed the floor, cooked dinner, worked out, did laundry. it feels good to not waste the day in front of this shitty machine or in front of the tv. now if i can only get a job. funds are low and im getting bored with only working one day a week. hopefully somehting will come up soon. i dont have much else to say today. very mellow.
October 20, 2004
Its amazing the things people do. Me and Stefan have people over all the time. We let people stay over. And thats not even a big deal. Lately people just done seem to have any respect. People who come here all the time. i wont name names, throw a party and don't even bother to call me or stefan. that was awesome. i spoke my mind on that to the people who were responsible. Other people like jose just leave our apartment to go to another party they hear about but don't bother telling anyone about it especially people who are supposed to be his friends. i have even had to deal with a stupid fuck going in my freezer while i wasn't home and stefan wasn't in the room and steal my food.(mark). fuck this. These same people as well as others also do not have the decency to listen to me and stefan when we say no balcony so we dont get in trouble, is it really that fuckin hard to walk down a couple flights of stairs to smoke. if you can't do that then you either shouldn't be smoking or shouldn't be so damn lazy. I've been frustrated lately and there will be some new rules coming into play this weekned cause im really sick of people and their lack of respect for my place. well thats about everything i needed to get off my mind. people who know about these things will understand what im talking about and if you think im overreacting then you obviously have never been here. other than these inconveniences i think everything is going ok.
Ocotber 13, 2004
Well there is nothign deep really on my mind lately. Life has been really mellow. i should probably get a real job or something down by my apt. School is lame. my classes are boring but oh well. recently in St. Louis as i was visiting Bill i underwent a number of shady things. I saw black kids beating the shit out of a couch. ( i think a person was on it.), gang signs were tossed up at the car i was in so we had to drive the other way. again some crazy black guys. In downtown we went to the hooters ripoff called "showmees" they didn't show me much. then on the way back to the car we had two shady ass guys following us one of them a white guy with a huge 2Pac necklace i think something bad woulda happened if we didn't go through that park. oh well. st louis is shady as fuck but it was nice hanging out with bill. other than that same shit new day.
May 11, 2004
So i decided i need to start setting some goals for myself. school is over and im working minimal hours. i need to get some shit done. i would really like to stick wtih this running thing, and as long as it stays warm there is a chance of this happeneing. i got some finals grades back and the ones i thought i did good on i fucked up and the ones i winged i got good grades on. how does that work. The world is fucking crazy thats all i have to say. Im glad its summer, but i now dont know if i fear the craziness that is going to ensue or if i am welcoming it just because life is so boring. i guess i kinda look forward to it. i haven't had a good summer in a good hmm 3 years or so. oh well. work is just as easy as it was when i left. gotta love that. other than that nothing going on but the normal crazy shit. i predict more intersting things happening this weekend. so i guess we will have to wait and see.
April 24, 2004
Nothing really special going on today or lately. This week was a long one and was filled with an interesting end. Althoguh i guess i still got tonight to see if anything new and exciting happens. Been watching a lot of movies in the spare time that i actually have now that i am not working. My goal is to go running again tommorow. This weather is very discouraging and depressing. I felt so much better about things when it was nice, now its all dark, cold and depressing outside and really doesn't make me want to do much but just chill and do nothing all day. its not good. i need some sunshine back. hopefully something fun is going on tonight but who knows its only 5pm so a lot can happen still. hopefully tommorow ill have a reason to come on and update this but until then enjoy whats left of the weekend.
April 18, 2004
Well i was running out of deep thoughts so i thought and then one had just came to me so i decided to start the writings of this day over. I was thinking about talking. For as many friends as someone has how many of those friends can you actually engage in intense conversation with. I find that in my life personally there has not been very many. its almost sad to think about how many people you talk to but the talk only goes as far as small talk. is small talk worthwhile? i dont really know how to explain it but i really just find it crazy about how difficult real conversations are to have. being in college i find that my meaningless talk has improved ten fold due to the amount of weird people i end up having classes with. conversation is an interesting point in life that rarely ever gets used to its full potential and it is nice to have friends that you can actually have real conversations with as opposed to the fakeness endured at school or the workplace. This weekend was a great reminder of that aspect of life. (The good parts of conversation that is)
April 11, 2004
If we didn't have to go to college these days do you think society would be different? The importance that is placed on college nowadays is rather scary. 20 years ago you could get a good job straight out of high school and continue with it for the rest of ur life. Now getting a job wihtout a diploma is rediculously hard. Its sad that a piece of paper makes that big a difference in life. All college does is give more people jobs and allow people to re-learn stupid shit for two years and then finally get into the stuf they actually want to learn. If we didn't place such a huge ideal on being well rounded school would be a lot better. Two years and ur done. Learn what you want and take it as far as you want. Thats how it should be. But i guess with the laziness of society nowadays this wouldn't really get us anywhere. If you got this far in reading this i commend you because i have become bored and im the one typing this. i dont think i have anything good to say right now so ill just cut myself off.