The Challenges

Hey! This is DEFINATELY the section for people who like to write random fics about subjects my twisted little mind dreams up. Er...might I emphasize twisted? Anyway, I absolutely LOVE reading these things, so please e-mail me in order to enter! Happy writing!

Challenge 31: 07.31.02

[Submitted by Manda] The HP characters have managed to get their hands on twelve crates of beer. Ron has the genius idea that they play a little game called "I've Never." For those of you who don't know this game, it's a drinking game. One person, Harry, for example, starts. He has to say "I've never…" and complete the sentence. He might say something like…. "I've never been locked outside in my underwear." All players who HAVE done it have to drink from their cup/bottle/whatever. It can be a sip or the whole bottle; it doesn't matter. The fic must also include:
  • someone saying "Uffda!" "Uffda" is kind of like the Norwegian form of "oy vey."
  • a penguin
  • an orange muffin
  • Draco. Drunk.
  • someone has to wear a combination of stripes and plaid
  • random food items being used in nontraditional ways
  • must be in .txt format, funny, original... You people know the drill.

Step Up to the Challenge

Challenge 30: 06.06.02

In the real world and in the Harry Potter universe, one thing remains constant: people need money. So for this week's challenge, write about your favorite character and his or her experiences with getting and keeping a summer job. Have fun! Just make sure to incorporate the following:
  • Someone must impersonate a teeny-bopper
  • There must be a pigeon
  • An insane leprachaun must at least have a cameo
  • Snape must reappear, in Neville's grandmum's clothes
  • Someone must say, "Me gusta bailar," which is Spanish for "I like to dance."
  • And it must be in txt format and funny. Remember, points for originality!
>>1st Place>> Lauren Greenleaf
>>2nd Place>> Jessica C. Malfoy
>>3nd Place>> Sarah

Challenge 29: 04.28.02

For this week's challenge, imagine that Voldemort chokes on a fishbone and is rushed to St.Mungos. What will happen to him? Only you know! Just make sure to incorporate the following:
  • Someone must wear a green hospitol gown
  • Rita Skeeter must write an article
  • Trelawney must wear a tight red dress with a slit up to *here*
  • Someone must do a split
  • Someone must say, "Ha kova sheli shalosh peenot," which is Hebrew for "My hat, it has three corners."
  • And it must be in txt format and funny. Remember, points for originality!
>>1st Place>> Lauren Greenleaf
>>2nd Place>> Sandra
>>3nd Place>> Lady Lily

Challenge 28: 04.07.02

This week, imagine that the coming weekend is a concert held in Hogsmeade. This can be 'The Weird Sisters' or a band or person that you make up. Only 3rd years and up can attend this once-in-a-lifetime concert. Just make sure to incorporate the following:
  • Someone must catch rabies
  • Snuffles must make a cameo somewhere
  • Hot dogs must become airborn. ^_^
  • There must be an that causes Harry to lose his scar
  • Someone must say, "Tu madre!" which is Spanish for "Your mother!" repeatedly
  • And it must be in txt format and funny. Remember, points for originality!
>>1st Place>> His lordship Chaos
>>2nd Place>> Lauren Greenleaf
>>3nd Place>> American Hermione

Challenge 27: 03.17.02

It's fifth year at Hogwarts, and the Muggle Studies teacher has decided to take his/her class on a field trip to a Muggle movie theatre. And you know what that means -- havoc is about to be wreaked on the world! Use as many or as few characters as you want. Just make sure to incorporate the following:
  • Must include an inflatable life jacket
  • Somebody must be quoting things from Lockhart's books at all times
  • Someone must wear sunglasses inside
  • There must be a pink, fluffy bunny
  • Someone must say, "Ani rotzah leeroat Uranus!" which is Hebrew for "I want to see Uranus!"
  • And it must be in txt format and funny. Remember, points for originality!
>>1st Place>> Lauren Greenleaf (aka Seagull Laridae)
>>2nd Place>> American Hermione
>>3nd Place>> Ron's Secret Admirer

Challenge 26: 02.24.02

Everyone should know how to swim, right? Well, our favorite folks at Hogwarts are no exception. For this challenge, Hogwarts is having swim tests and lessons in the lake. Have the characters argue over who's the most ripped, get into mishaps with the giant squid, or any other idea. Just make sure to incorporate the following:
  • Someone must wear neon colored robes
  • Someone must dance the hokey-pokey
  • There must be a moth
  • Someone must eat a live fish
  • Someone must say "Sqack Sqeeck Ick Ourk mock!" Merman language for, "Does this tail make my butt look big?"
  • And it must be in txt format and funny. Remember, points for originality!
>>1st Place>> Lauren Greenleaf (aka Seagull Laridae)
>>2nd Place>> American Hermione
>>3nd Place>> Jessica C. Malfoy

Challenge 25: 01.27.02

This week's challenge can be either humor or drama. But either way, the basic plot is Gilderoy Lockhart. After all, what has happened to our *favorite* Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher after all this time? In this challenge, write your guess! The fic must also include:
  • There must be a reference to bunt cake
  • Someone must dance with an inanimate object
  • Someone must praise the wonders of saran wrap
  • A character needs to injure their leg
  • Someone must say, "Ani rotzah ha'oznayim shelo" which in Hebrew means, "I want your ears."
  • And it must be in txt format and funny. Remember, points for originality!
>>1st Place>> Apocalypse
>>2nd Place>> Elvish Aurora
>>3nd Place>> Sirina Black
>>Most Inside Jokes That Only I Will Get and Cackle Madly At Award>> American Hermione

Challenge 24: 01.13.02

For this week's challenge, imagine that Hogwarts is starting up its own school newspaper! You can pick editors, writers, reporters -- whatever you want. But the fic must also include:
  • A Mrs. Dumbledore must be mentioned
  • Someone must bake a cake
  • Hermione must get a haircut
  • Crookshanks must die. ((This is in no way influenced by my of cats. ^_^))
  • Someone must yell "Baka" which means "Idiot" in Japanese.
  • And it must be in txt format and funny. Remember, points for originality!
>>1st Place>> His Lordship Chaos
>>2nd Place>> Elvish Aurora
>>3nd Place>> American Hermione's Twin Brother
>>Most Inside Jokes That Only I Will Get and Cackle Madly At Award>> American Hermione

Challenge 23: 12.30.01

For this week's challenge, imagine that one of your favorite HP characters has gotten detention. But this isn't just ANY detention. It's sure to be crazy, because you have to include:
  • Professor Snape must lose his voice
  • Someone must write in a diary
  • There must be an with hair dye
  • Dobby must make an appearance
  • Someone must say, "Estoy concada," which means "I'm tired," in Spanish.
  • And it must be in txt format and funny. Remember, points for originality!
>>1st Place>> Fred Weasley's friend
>>2nd Place>> RavenNat
>>3nd Place>> The Jew of Gryffindor
>>Creativity Award>> American Hermione

Challenge 22: 12.16.01

For this week's challenge, here is the basic plot, with a few requirements:

In the fan fiction world, there are hundreds of cheesy, cliche Yule Ball fics. We all know and them. So, for this challenge, write a parady of one! Of course, this isn't ANY Yule Ball. The fic must include:

  • Someone must only sing, never speak
  • A camera must come to life and take pictures of everyone
  • Someone must call Neville a "big hunk of burning love"
  • There must be a comfy chair.
  • Someone must say, "Zeh ha peena sheli, zona!" which means "This is my corner, ho!" in Hebrew
  • And it must be in txt format and funny. Remember, points for originality!
>>1st Place>> His Lordship Chaos
>>2nd Place>> Farseeker and Obake
>>3nd Place>> American Hermione
>>Insanity Award>> Psychochiklp

Challenge 21: 12.01.01

Everyone seems to like the basic plot challenges, so we'll stick with them. Your task this time? Write a romantic comedy! The pairing is your choice, but please no slash. You must also include:
  • A new Hogwarts ghost
  • The song, "They're coming to take me away" (etc etc)
  • Someone must fall down a stairway
  • Someone must wear hot pink robes
  • Someone must say, "Hay una fiesta en mis pantalones!" which means, "There's a party in my pants!" in Spanish.
  • And it must be in txt format and funny. Remember, points for originality!
>>1st Place>> Seagull "Rabies" Laridae
>>2nd Place>> American Hermione
>>3nd Place>> Angie the Flying Dork
>>3rd Place>> Aurora Lynn Rose

Challenge 20: 11.14.01

For this week's challenge, here is the basic plot, with a few requirements:

You've read "Car Talk," and laughed along with all the rest of the METMA fics. Now it's your turn! This week, write your very own METMA fic, about whichever object you choose. You must also include:

  • A nose.
  • Someone must build a bridge.
  • A brightly colored flower.
  • Must include the phrase, "I'm not left brained," said by someone pointing to the right side of their head.
  • And it must be in txt format and funny. Remember, points for originality!
>>1st Place>> xoe
>>2nd Place>> Aurora Lynn Rose
>>2nd Place>> Juliette
>>3rd Place>> American Hermione
>>Insanity Award>> Padma the Short

Challenge 19: 10.23.01
  • Someone must be addicted to tic-tacs
  • A boy must be for sale
  • A road sign must be present
  • There must be a wrestler by the name of "El Diablo", which means "The devil" in Spanish.
  • It must be in txt format and funny
  • There must be a rooster that won't shut up
>>1st Place>> Etha
>>2nd Place>> Seagull Laridae
>>3rd Place>> American Hermione

Challenge 18: 10.08.01
  • Someone must say "Tienes constipado?" which means "Do you have a cold?" in Spanish.
  • Snape must propose to someone
  • There must be a bird
  • All the house elves must go on strike
  • It must be in txt format and funny
  • I have to have a cameo! Hehe! :)
>>1st Place>> Seagull Laridae
>>2nd Place>> Juliette
>>3rd Place>> Ron Weasley's Cutie
>>4th Place>> American Hermione
>>4th Place>> Dragonessa Smith

Challenge 17: 09.16.01

METMA might have a buttload of members, but its still missing one thing: a theme song! For this week's challenge, grab a pen and paper and write one! Keep in mind:
  • Must be at least 15 lines
  • Can be to a tune, but doesn't have to be
  • Must be funny and include the word insanity at least once. :)
  • Must be in txt format.
>>1st Place>> Aurora Lynn Rose
>>1st Place>> Hermione19
>>3rd Place>> Sarah
>>Insanity Award>> Ron Weasley's Cutie

Challenge 16: 08.26.01

For this week's challenge, here is the basic plot, with a few requirements:

Poor Hagrid hasn't had a whole lot of luck with pets. First Norbert, then Buckbeak. But it's all going to change. For your prompt this week, Hagrid must get a new pet. Of course, knowing Hagrid, it probably won't be a --er-- conventional type. You must also include:

  • A bowling shoe
  • A tapdancing character.
  • Professor Flitwick must be mentioned at least twice.
  • Must include the Spanish phrase, "No me molestos," which means, "Don't bother me."
  • And it must be in txt format and funny. Remember, points for originality!
>>1st Place>> Seagull Laridae
>>2nd Place>> Aurora Lynn Rose
>>3rd Place>> Anne45

Challenge 15: 07.29.01

I know, I know, it's definately BEEN a while since we had a challenge. But here it is. Like last time, I'm going to give you just a basic plot, with a few requirements. Here it is:

It's back to school shopping, HP style. Except the lists have changed a bit this year. Besides the normal supplies, the gang also has to get:

  • Moose chips. If you don't know what *chips* means, I'm not going to tell you!
  • A shrubbery... not too expensive!
  • A kayak... for the interhouse kayaking tournament or something!
  • A shovel.
That's it, since I don't want to make it too hard. Needless to say, whatever characters you choose to use will have an *interesting* time shopping!

Just a few more things to remember:
  • Must be in txt format. Sorry, but its much easier for me.
  • Must be funny. Remember, points for originality!
>>1st Place>> Seagull Laridae
>>2nd Place>> AMM
>>3rd Place>> Aurora Lynn Rose

Challenge 14: 05.24.01

I'm going to do something a bit different this time -- there aren't any specific challenge requirements, just a basic plot. Here it is:

As many and whoever of the HP characters that you want (that means the sky is the limit) are somehow transported to the book, Alice in Wonderland.

C'mon, isn't that fun? Can't you just imagine Ron lipping off to the Queen of hearts? *grins* Or Crookshanks meeting the Chesire Cat? Don't tell me that doesn't sound funny...

Just a few things to remember:
  • must be in txt format. Sorry, but its much easier for me.
  • must be funny. But really, how could you make it *not* funny?
  • must be in to me by June 9, because on the 12th I'm leaving for camp, and there will not be any challenges for a month.
>>1st Place>> Seagull Laridae
>>2nd Place>> Shankzta Lockhart
>>3rd Place>> ChoChangGirl
>>Insanity Award>> Allex

Challenge 13: 05.10.01
  • Must be in txt format and funny.
  • Must include ducks
  • Fred and George must give Mrs. Weasley a "mother's day gift"
  • A potato must be used as a weapon.
  • There must be an evil WHITE cat. [heh...]
  • Must include the phrase, "Facilis descensus Averni", which is Latin for "Easy is the descent into hell."
  • Martha Stewart must have a cameo
>>1st Place>> Seagull Laridae
>>2nd Place>> An Invisible Tomorrow
>>3rd Place>> Allex
>>Insanity Award>> JustMe

Challenge 12: 04.22.01
  • Must be in txt format and funny.
  • Must include Katie Bell
  • Someone needs to say, "Bugger off, can't you see we're busy?"
  • Someone must have big hair. Very big.
  • Must include a quart of motor oil. Don't ask...
  • The pudding Dobby knocked over in CoS must be mentioned.
  • Ron must be fascinated by an elevator.
  • Someone needs to say, "Um, do you want a tissue?"
>>1st Place>> Seagull Laridae
>>2nd Place>> Tals
>>3rd Place>> Caramel

Challenge 11: 04.07.01
  • It must have a plot, be in TXT format, and funny.
  • There must be a softball
  • Someone needs to whistle "Dixie"
  • A pink car needs to be in it
  • Someone's watch needs to break.
  • There have to be two or more rhyming lines.
  • Someone needs to jump on one foot the entire time
  • And lastly, someone needs to say "Ani rotzah lechem" which means "I want bread!" (for a female) in Hebrew.
>>1st Place>> Seagull Laridae
>>2nd Place>> Queen Kakia
>>3rd Place>> SnappySapphy
>>Insanity Award>> Allex

Challenge 10: 03.21.01
  • It must be funny, in txt format, and have a plot
  • Someone's ears must be cold
  • Someone needs to say "Lo, ani lo ohevet ha covah sheloh!" which means "No, I do not love your hat." in Hebrew. :)
  • Molly Weasley needs to be mentioned or in the fic (she's cool.)
  • You must write the entire fic without ever using the name "Harry" [laughs manically]
  • Someone needs to chew gum obnoxiously
  • And finally, there must be a striped cat
>>1st Place>> An Invisible Tomorrow
>>2nd Place>> Seagull Laridae
>>3rd Place>> TDC311
>>Insanity Award>> Allex

Challenge 09: 03.04.01
  • Someone needs to say "sore wa himitsu desu" which means, "Now that's a secret" in Japanese.
  • Someone's eyeball needs to itch
  • It needs to rain cats and dogs...literally...
  • A character needs to win 2nd place in something (go 2nd place!!)
  • It must have a plot. (YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF WINNING WITHOUT THIS!!!)
  • It must be funny.
  • Must include "Ewww....Ron, what did you DO to my BED???"
  • Must include purple underpants. ^^
  • And lastly, must include a telemarketer!
>>1st Place>> An Invisible Tomorrow
>>2nd Place>> Juliette
>>3rd Place>> Ron Weasley's Cutie
>>Insanity Award>> Allex

Challenge 08: 02.17.01
  • It must be funny OR serious (i'll give you not-funny writers a chance!)
  • it has to be from the point of view of a character (NOT an object)
  • the character you are doing the point of view of CANNOT be Ron, Hermione, Harry, Voldemort, or any of the overused ones. [A reminder that I give points for originality.]
  • Must include the phrase "But...I don't like fruitcakes!" *laffs with xoe*
  • Someone has to die (it can be a sad or funny .)
  • There has to be a *DUH DUH DUH* barrette that plays pranks on people...
>>1st Place>> Fred Weasley's friend
>>2nd Place>> xoe
>>3rd place>> Juliette

Challenge 07: 02.01.01

  • Must be funny
  • Someone has to say "Kiss me, I'm IRISH!"
  • Harry can't be Irish. ;)
  • Crabbe needs to get plastic surgery
  • Someone has to say "Yo soy muy aburrido" which is "I am very boring" in spanish
  • Someone needs to be wearing pink tights at one point
  • A teacup needs to speak
  • Gilderoy Lockhart needs to be mentioned or seen.
>>1st Place>> ~*Tinkerbell*~
>>2nd place>> Christa Crabbe
>>3rd place>> Lyndred

Challenge 06: 01.23.01

  • Someone has to say "Butterbee". What does that mean? Beats me....ask Xoe.
  • Someone has to say "Achalta ha kelev sheli!" which means "You ate my dog!"
  • A charachter must believe he or she is a traffic light
  • A phone has to ring in someone's ear
  • Chocolate chips have to be in there somewhere and lastly...
  • Fish and chips must be mentioned
>>1st place>> Juliette
>>2nd place>> Topaz
>>2nd place>> Hermionefan
>>3rd place>> ~Tinkerbell~

Challenge 05: 01.15.01

  • Someone must have a "wizard" cold
  • A dictionary has to fall out of the sky
  • Someone has to say "Atah Rotzeh Ani" which means "You want me" in hebrew.
  • A charachter's feet must smell bad (ew)
  • It must be funny
  • A lizard has to be present at least once
  • Ron's broken wand must be mentioned. (because what DID happen to it????)
>>1st place>> Juliette
>>2nd place>> Carolyn the Lovely Lynn
>>3rd place>> Hermionefan
>>Insanity Award>> Allex

Challenge 04: 01.07.01
  • Someone has to say, "I'm NOT a clock!"
  • Someone must say: "Z'yanta parah" which is Hebrew for "He f*cked a cow" :)
  • There must be someone with a prosthesis (which is a fake limb...I only say this cuz that's what my history fair project is about.)
  • A crazy bludger must be present
  • Someone must believe that they are a talk show host. buuut...they can't be actually AT a talk show.
  • Someone must say "I love Voldemort" BUT--they can't be a eater, eater sympathizer, AND it can't be sarcastic! (I know that IS hard...)
  • Hermione has to wear a Metallica shirt. Heh.
  • It has to be funny. At least semi-funny!! :)
>>1st Place>> Juliette
>>2nd Place>> Tinkerbell
>>3rd Place>> Greencat

Challenge 03: 01.02.01
  • It must be funny
  • A singing coyote must be present.
  • Someone has to say, "Ani rotzah lalechet le beit shimoosh" (Which means "I want to go to the bathroom" in hebrew.) [I'm fond of these phrases, I think they'll be an ever present item in the challenges]
  • A human character must lose a toe.
  • An rabid hippogriff must be present at one point.
  • Cherry Chapstick must be in the fic. *snorts* That's all, except...
  • Someone has to say, a la Paul Revere: "The British are mooning!! The British are mooning!!"
>>1st Place>> Juliette
>>2nd Place>> An Invisible Tomorrow
>>3rd Place>> Ron Weasley's Cutie

Challenge 02: 12.29.00
  • Voldemort must be pregnant.
  • The father of Voldemort's baby must be of the human species.
  • Ron cannot be gay.
  • It must be funny.
  • Someone has to say: "Aw, look at the little punum..."
  • Someone has to say: "My foot itches". (Mandy's foot does itch, thats what prompted that..)
  • Straightjackets must be present
  • It has to be more than 2 pages long. But that shouldn't be too hard.
  • Someone has to say: "Ha Kof Sheli Be'Esh" (which is Hebrew for, of all things, "my monkey is on fire")
>>1st Place>> Juliette
>>2nd Place>> Hermione19
>>3rd Place>> Hermione L. Granger
>>4th Place>> Aragog
>>4th Place>> TheLonelyTaco

Challenge 01: 12.21.00
  • It has to have the Dursleys
  • Someone has to say, "What's your favorite brand of underwear?"
  • Purple frogs must be present as one point....
  • Someone has to say, "But I'm allergic!"
  • It has to be funny.
  • It has to include the evil flying car.
  • Someone has to say, "I'm a chipanzee, eat me!"
  • It has to be in play format, and I have to be in it! (HAH!!) that's about it, except....
  • Someone has to believe they are a computer moniter.
>>1st Place>> Carolyn the Lovely Lynn
>>2nd Place>> TheLonelyTaco
>>3rd place>> An Invisible Tomorrow