Havoc at the Movies
by Ron's Secret Admirer

Author's Note: It's my first METMA challenge fic! I feel special. *beams*

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters- J.K. Rowling does. I do own the plot, however.

Lily Evans blinked slowly, trying to stay awake. What am I doing in this class, anyway? She thought. She was sitting in the back of the Muggle Studies classroom while Professor Donns droned on about various muggle inventions. Well at least, that's what she was talking about ten minutes ago. Suddenly, the professor stopped, and Lily's head snapped up.

Professor Donns glared at her young redheaded student in the back, then continued. "As I was saying, I will be taking all of my classes on a field trip to a muggle theatre, where we will see the movie 'Jaws'. Any questions?"

James Potter, his hair sticking up even more than usual today and his glasses falling off his nose every five minutes, raised his hand. "Can we bring friends that aren't in the class?"

Professor Donns narrowed her eyes for a moment, then shrugged. "I suppose. Any more questions?"

Lily raised her hand. "When will we be going?"

The professor replied, "We shall be gone for all of the school day tomorrow. I expect you all to retrieve your homework from your other teachers to be done on the bus ride."

The class groaned then hurried out of the room when the bell rang.

"So, who are you planning on bringing?" Lily asked James, her boyfriend, when she caught up with him.

James' eyes glinted mischievously. "Oh, I was going to go and ask Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Why don't you invite Jennifer and Bella, as well?"

Lily grinned. "Ok, sounds great. I've got to go to the library, but I'll catch up with you later, 'kay?"

James nodded, and the two went their separate ways.

~~~~~The Next Day~~~~~

Two busloads of students, most of whom were half-asleep, trudged along the highway towards Kenton Theatre, a muggle theatre in, well, Kenton.

Seven students in the back, however, were plotting the poor theatre workers' demise. "Now Sirius, d'ya have the dungbombs?" James asked.

"Yup!" The other boy replied, grinning and revealing a sack full of the smelly pranking equipment.

Lily, Jennifer, and Bella sat on a seat across the aisle. Jennifer was rather disappointed, because everyone's wands had been taken away upon boarding the bus. Professor Donns wasn't that ignorant, after all.

In the seat in front of them, a small, blonde boy was writing in a little book, saying aloud what he was writing. "And then, the werewolf tackled me. I had to defend myself, so I chanted a quick little blocking spell I learned in Romania..."

"What are you doing?" Bella asked him, annoyed.

The boy flipped to the front of the book to a page labeled 'Introduction'. "The following adventures tell of my experiences with werewolves. I risked my life to bring you these stories, but lived because of my fascinating expertise." He smiled, flashing teeth covered in Muggle braces.

"Why would you do that?"

The small boy shrugged and went back to writing his book.

The three girls just shook their heads and turned away from him. "How big of a prat can he get?" Jennifer asked in disbelief.

As the bus was passing over a bridge, half the class lifted their feet up off the ground. Lily just shook her head. "Stupid muggle superstitions..." She muttered. Then she turned to look out at the river below. 'Funny, there's an inflatable life jacket down there. I wonder where the person is.' She thought. For some reason this struck her as funny and Lily couldn't stop laughing the rest of the way there.

When the buses finally arrived at Kenton Theatre, everyone was more than ready to get off. Sirius had accidentally let a dungbomb slip to the floor, and the bus stank horribly the rest of the way.

James adjusted his glasses-transformed-sunglasses as he went in. "Why are you wearing sunglasses inside the building, you idiot?" Lily muttered.

"Hot chicks dig mysterious guys with shades!" He said, but not without getting slapped upside the head by Lily.

James refused to remove the glasses, but that did not go without punishment. Since the theatre was dimly lit anyway, he could hardly see, and kept running into walls and the occasional person, and tripping over hidden bumps in the carpet. Some almost believed Sirius was guiding him around with a snuck-in wand, but that was Sirius for you.

In the ticket line, the annoying boy (whom they later found out was named Gilderoy Lockhart, an appropriate name for a git) was standing in front of the three girls once again, and he was still saying parts of his 'book' aloud. "Will you just shut up?" Lily shrieked, getting a few stares from other customers ahead of the class in line.

About fifty magical students shuffled along the hallways towards the theatre labeled 'Jaws'. None were quite sure what it was about.

Sirius, being, well, Sirius, expertly guided James into the theatre labeled 'Temptations'. A few moments later, a very feminine-sounding shriek sounded and James came running out. When the door was held open for a moment, words followed him, in a soothing, sexy-sounding female voice: "Ani rotzah leeroat Uranus!"

The few students that knew Hebrew backed away in disbelief, their eyes open wide. Many asked what the lady had said, but they refused to answer- except one boy. Soon, the whole group was sniggering and trying to sneak into Temptations.

A few muggles were seated in the Jaws theatre when the group from Hogwarts of about fifty students shuffled into the back and sat down. Soon the lights dimmed, and a small pink- bunny? Yes, a small pink bunny hopped onto the screen. "Hello! My name is Mr. Fluffy P. Bunny. I'd like to remind you that my very own movie, 'Mr. Fluffy Pink Bunny Takes Over the World', is coming out in only one month! So join my friends and me for a journey into my magical world as I take over the world!"

Sirius and Remus sniggered profusely at this until Professor Donns shushed them. Soon, familiar music started playing.


A few screams echoed in the theatre, followed by 'Shhhhh!'s from the front of the theatre.

All was going well in the theatre, or so Professor Donns thought. She didn't notice four shadows creeping up to the screen. She did notice, however, many brown splotches appear on the screen seconds later, just as a large shark surfaced and took a bite out of an attractive girl's surfboard.

Apparently movie theatre screens were not very resistant to dungbombs. Electric shocks ran up and down the aisles, and many girls' hair stood on end, Professor Donns' included.


"We're in trouble."

"That we are, my dear friend Padfoot, that we are."

"What will we do?"

"Well Moony, I say we run."

"Excellent plan, Wormtail. We shall run."

They ran.

Meanwhile, the infamous fluffy pink bunny appeared on the screen once again. "It appears that the movie theatre is experiencing technical difficulties. While we're waiting, I'll sing you a song! This is the song that never ends..."

Everyone in the theatre groaned and covered their ears, trying to get out before the horrid song poisoned their minds forever.

Needless to say, Professor Donns vowed never to take her classes on a field trip again.


"May I have your attention, please, class? Due to a recommendation from Miss Granger, I will be taking all of you on a field trip to a muggle theatre to see the classic movie 'Jaws'. You may bring friends if you like..."

E-mail the Author