The (Sort-of) Diary of Hermione Granger
by American Hermione

Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize is yours or mine. Written as a free flow (be afraid, be very afraid). I am shamelessly following the lead of Arabella in "HQoW", except instead of Gwen, Hermione has Gred. Hehehe. Enjoy.

November 1st. Wednesday.

Oh, Gred.

What's up?

McGonagall announced at dinner there's to be a concert in Hogsmeade on Friday night. It's the Peanut Butter and Jelly Squad. 3rd years and up can go. And we can go with a date. THIS IS HORRID!

But- what's wrong with THAT? A concert would be fun- you could mosh- wait, nevermind. Sometimes I forget who I'm talking to.

Stop teasing me, Gred. This means Krum's going to be stalking me again.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, dear! You're probably RIGHT! HAHAHAHAHA!

Gred, stop it, this is serious.

Sorry.

I can't go to the library without him mysteriously popping up. And today, he just... appeared, handed me "Love Conquers All", by Esmerelda Oggins (the title is self-explanatory), said "Read it, Herm-own-ninny." and walked off. Ron was standing next to me, and what did he do?

Did he...?

He started laughing. Hard.

I thought as much. Boys.

I really like him, but sometimes I just want to SLAP that boy.

Well, it is sort of funny...

WHY is it so FUNNY? I have a STALKER, Gred. Not a boyfriend. A STALKER. And stop snerking, Gred, I know you are.

Sorry. Let's move onto a happier subject, shall we?

Good idea. Um, at lunch, Ron sat next to me!

Well there's a step in the right direction!

But he said he needed to because he was throwing hot dogs at Malfoy's head and he could aim better from there.

Well, um, maybe it was just an excuse... for him to sit next to you?

Maybe. But- oh, nevermind.

What?

Nothing. It's just- I wouldn't mind so much if Ron started acting like Krum is.

Oh.

Goodnight, Gred.

Wait- Hermione?

Yes?

Did you ever read that book? The one Krum gave you?

Um- yeah. I did.

And...?

It was what it says. A collection of short stories all about how love crosses all borders. And things like that. Pretty romantic, actually. But kind of creepy. Do you think he's trying to tell me something?

Well...

Just tell me, Gred.

Yes.

That's what I was worried about. Oh well. I'll just try to avoid him. Goodnight.

Goodnight.

November 2nd. Thursday.

Oh, dear, Gred! I'm laughing so hard I can hardly write!

What's going on?

I'm in the common room, and Ron just cursed Neville so that he can't say anything but "Tu madre!" That means "Your mum" in Spanish, by the way.

Yes, I knew that. But why?

Well, apparently Neville and Ron were partners practicing Language Curses, and Neville messed up so that Ron started belching slugs again- I guess that's his reaction to bizarre spells- so Ron cast the "Tu madre" one on Neville.

HAHAHAHAHA!

I know, isn't it great? And at lunch... my goodness, today has been hilarious.

At lunch...

Oh, yes. Well. Sirius stopped in...

WHAT?

In dog form, of course. Snuffles.

Oh.

And Harry was telling him about how Malfoy made fun of his father the other day, and you know what he did?

What?

He bit Malfoy in the leg!

If I laugh anymore, I'm going to burst, Hermione!

I know, it was absolutely splendid! Ron and I had to hang on to each other to keep from falling out of our seats.

I'm sure you did...

Oh, shut up. We really did. And Malfoy stood up and shouted, "I'VE GOT RABIES! I'VE GOT RABIES!" and ran out of the hall.

Well, does he?

Who knows? I hope so. Gred?

Yes? Do you think Ron will ask me to the concert?

I don't really know. Why don't YOU ask him?

Oh, I don't think I could, Gred. What if he acted weird about it?

I don't think he would.

Well, speak of the devil. Here he comes. Gotta run now, Gred.

Bye.

November 3rd. Friday.

I almost asked him, Gred.

Really? What happened?

Well, just as I turned to him at lunch, and opened my mouth, Harry gave this awful scream and clutched at his forehead.

Was it Voldemort?

No... no. Malfoy threw some hot food at him, and it hit him right on his scar. Burned it off, actually. Ron and I visited him in the hospital wing.

What? So Harry-

Doesn't have a scar anymore. And you know who else was in the wing?

Who?

Krum. Turns out he's got a bad fever. He'll be in bed a few more days. No wonder I haven't seen him much lately. And that also means he can't ask me to the concert!

Well, that's great!

Oh, goodness, here comes Ron again, and he's got a queer look on his face. Write more later.

*later*

GRED!!!!! HE ASKED ME!!!!!!!!!

NO WAY!

HE DID! HE DID! HE DID!

OK, give me all of the details, Hermione.

Well, he got this really cute nervous look on his face- boys are SO transparent, Gred...

Go on... And then he said, "You know, there's a concert tonight. In Hogsmeade."
And I said, "Yes."
And then he kind of blushed, and grinned, and said, "Would you like to go with me? Like... together?"
And I grinned so wide I thought I'd burst, and said, "I'd love to!"
And then we sort of laughed. And he said, "Well, gotta go get ready, then," and left.

Oh, I'm so happy for you!

I know! I've got to decide what to wear! This is going to be the best night of my life, Gred!

I hope so!

Bye!

Bye.

To be continued... *cackles*

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