ALR's Challenge Fic (What? She didn't tell me a title!)
by Aurora Lynn Rose

I suck at writing romance... *bites her lip til it bleeds and drinks the blood*

Like I said, I suck at writing romance, and I'm really tired, therefore my mood also sucks. *slaps herself* Go to bed, Rebers... -_-

Now that you've been told TWICE that the fic sucks (Ooh! Three times!), read it anyway, because I said so, goddammit! *glares*

Ooh looky... *licks a dribble of blood off her wrist* Mmm, that's the stuff...

Harry stared at the Ravenclaw table as if there was no tomorrow. Ron noticed.

"What's with you, Harry? You look dazed..." he commented.

"Si..." murmured Harry, "Hay una fiesta en mis pantalones!"

Indeed there was, for the object of Harry's admiration was none other than Cho Chang. Cho, the prettiest, second smartest (we can't forget Hermione now can we?), most athletic and popular girl at Hogwarts. And he wanted her. He needed her... as he stared at her in her hot pink robes (Dumbledore had changed the school uniform to hot pink for some strange reason), all he could think of was...

"Eww, Harry, you're drooling all over my clothes!" Hermione protested. Harry blushed as pink as his outfit and tore his gaze away from the sixth year Ravenclaw. Someday she'd be his. He was sure of it.

***


It was midnight, and Harry was just coming back from a visit to Hagrid's. Under the cover of his invisibility cloak, he snuck up the marble staircase. He was so preoccupied (Hagrid had just recently adopted a Chimaera who he christened "Norbert the Second"), he didn't even notice someone coming down the stairs until he crashed into them. With a string of curses, ows, and bangings, the person tumbled down to the first floor.

"Oops..." Harry whispered. As he continued on his way, he realized that the person was a student because he or she was wearing hot pink robes. He then remembered seeing shimmery black hair, and with a small gasp, he ran back to the entrance hall. Harry's heart leapt and his pants had another fiesta. It was Cho.

She was just dusting herself off after picking herself off the floor, and, after looking around to see what or who had caused her to fall down the stairs, shrugged and went through a door to her left. Harry followed as silently as possible.

Cho led him through a seemingly endless maze of hallways until she finally walked into a small side chamber, Harry right behind her, and closed the door. She lit the room with her wand and Harry's jaw dropped. The room was like a shrine... a shrine to Cedric Diggory! Another party happened in Harry's pants (it's very wild down there isn't it?), but this time, he was very angry. Still, he remained silent and invisible so he could see what Cho would do next.

She knelt down next to a huge picture of Cedric that was surrounded by black candles and started to cry softly. A faint tune started playing in the backround that Harry could barely hear. It went something like this:

Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to leave because I'd go BESERK? Well... you left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see I've gone COMPLETELY out of my mind... and...

They're coming to take me away, ha ha
They're coming to take me away, ho ho, hee hee, ha ha
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful ALL the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those nice young men
In their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me awaaaaaaaaaaaay!

At this point Harry was royally freaked out. So freaked out, he tentatively started walking towards Cho. But, the music stopped, and Cho started.

"Why?" she asked the picture pathetically, "Why did you ever leave me? I told you you shouldn't have gone... I knew you'd get killed... I told you so... but no... you left me..."

Here the strange music started again, but this time, Cho stood up and started singing while bobbing her head in a very disturbing manner.

"You thought it was a joke, and so you laughed, you laughed! when I had said that losing you would make me flip my lid! RIGHT?"(here she gazed accusingly at Cedric's face)"You know you laughed, I heard you laugh... You laughed, you laughed, and then you left and now you see I'm utterly mad... and..."

Now this is where things started to get really scary. Cho started smashing framed pictures of Cedric over her pretty head, all the while dancing around with two long, lit candles. Harry backed into the wall and reached for his wand.

"They're coming to take me away, haha, they're coming to take me away, ho ho, hee hee, ha ha, to the happy home, with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're coming to take me awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayhahahahahahahaha!"

Cho collapsed on the floor in a fit of giggles as Harry edged towards the door. He was having second thoughts about this crush of his. Frantically, and being the hero he is, he wondered what he should do next. But then a shimmery silver shape (ha! say that ten times fast!) emerged from underneath them. It was the ghost of Cedric Diggory.

"Cho... don't cry... don't be sad... don't light everything on fire..." he cooed, kneeling down next to her. Cho looked up.

"CEDDY!" she cried. "Oh, CEDDY, it's you!" She attempted to fling her arms around the ghost, but ended up hitting herself on the head twice and falling, face-forward, onto the stone floor. She sniffled and got back up again.

"Cho, why do you have to be this way?" he asked mournfully.

"I-I-I can't help it... I miss you so much... why'd you have to go be in those Triwizard challenges? Harry could have represented Hogwarts! You didn't have to go!" she sobbed. Cedric would have patted her on the shoulder, but he couldn't, so he just sat there.

"I know, I miss you too, but honestly, let's not be parading abuot the dungeons raving about the funny farm, okay?"

Cho giggled. "Okay, I admit it, I was being rather silly..."

'And terrifying...' Harry added silently to himself in his corner.

"Well, no need to be silly anymore, love," Cedric replied, "because I realized I missed this place so much, I wanted to come back! It was either that or go to hell, they don't allow sorcerors into Heaven you know, says so in Revalation, maybe I should have looked in to that... But, all demons aside, I'm staying here at Hogwarts for good."

"Oh, that's wonderful! I'll get to see you and talk to you every day!" Cho exclaimed, almost squealing in ecstasy (not the drug you imbeciles, the feeling! Man, you try to sound smart, and it all backfires...).

"You sure will... and, love?"

"Yes?"

Cedric grinned. "Do yourself a favor, and don't come down here again."

They both laughed as they walked out the door together. Harry wasn't positive, but he could've sworn he saw Cedric wink at him as he walked past. He became robe-faced; had Cedric been able to see him the whole time?

Harry sighed. Now he knew Cho wasn't meant for him, and he should have known a long time ago.

As he walked back to the Gryffindor common room, he vaguely thought of the pretty fourth year who'd asked him to the Yule Ball the previous year. What was her name again? Lizzie? No... Lydia, that was it. Lydia Silvers.

**THE NEXT DAY, AFTER BREAKFAST**


Harry smiled at the fourth year Hufflepuff, and she blushed furiously.

"Hi," he greeted, walking up to her.

"H.. h... " Her books and jaw dropped. Apparently she liked Harry even when he was in pink robes.

"Here, I'll help you with those," Harry picked up the books and happened to read the title on the top one.

"Quidditch through the Ages, eh? I must have read that book about thirty times over the summer..."

Lydia Silvers blushed again, but soon they started talking, and Harry learned she knew more than just how to blush.

And, in a house far away from Hogwarts, Gilderoy Lockhart picked up a mirror. Snape found his shampoo, and Dumbledore and Dobby went on a shopping spree to buy socks.

Yes, it seems everyone has found their true love.

The Friggin End!

Blaaaaaaaaaargh mush... why doncha go snog now... didn't that fic just make yeh wanna dance around with daisies in your hair?

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