Swimming to a Different Tune
by Jessica C. Malfoy
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A/N: Okay, Manders! You demand....I guess we supply? Oh well...Might as well enter it, considering that I helped create the darn thing and nobody else is.....Bow to me! I will scare you with this entry if you don't! Muhahahaha.......ha!
Hermione stared at the annoucement in complete horror. 'No, no, no! This can NOT be happening,' she thought to herself as she slowly re-read the annoucement, only to see the same thing over and over again. Under any other circumstances, she would have been thrilled for Hogwarts to offer another course, but this...No, this was different.
'I'm just going to die tomorrow,' she thought to herself as she settled into her bed, a couple of hours later after finding the horrid annoucement. 'I'm just...going to...die...'
She wasn't the only distressed student about all of this 'mess'. No, the other houses were debating over it as well. The Ravenclaws were debating over the fact of the condition of the lake water and all of what they could catch from it. Down in the dungeons the Slytherins were talking about the fact that it was January and who would go and tell Snape that they weren't going. Even a few of the Hufflepuffs were doubtful, talking about how the water could swallow them (this caused several gasps and tears among the 1st years).
....In the next morning.
Hermione huddled in her thick robes and cloak, with Harry and Ron on either side of her, heading towards the lake. She looked over at some other Hufflepuffs, who looked rather terriffied, and gave them a weak smile. She watched two 1st years dance together, most likely to become warm, doing the hokey-pokey. She faintly remembered doing that, so many years ago.
"'Mione," Harry began, looking around, "where is everybody?"
"I don't know, but I thought this was mandatory for everybody."
"This sucks," Ron started, "not only do we have to swim in that thing, but in the middle of January! What in bloody hell are they thinking?"
"Something that you haven't, obiviously, started," a familiar drawl came from under the shadow of a dead tree.
Ron turned around and glared at the figure, "Malfoy," he hissed.
"Good to know that you can associate names with faces, Weasel," Malfoy replied, coming out of the shadows, in thick, neon coloured robes.
Harry sniggered, "What are you wearing?"
Malfoy glared at Harry, eyes narrowing, "Well, I prefer these robes then having to go out in that forsaken lake."
"What? Did Snape cook those up for you then," Ron added, eyes dancing with delight of pointing out the robes.
"Yes, he did, as a matter of fact. But, don't worry. Once you jump in that lake, your...'trunks' will flash neon colors as well."
Hermione shifted uneasily, she would much rather have the neon robes then a neon flashing bathing suit, any day of the month. "Harry, do you think---"
"'Mione, don't tell me that you're scared of a bit of water," Ron exclaimed.
"I'm not but---"
"Really, you're a Prefect! You have to get a good example for all of the students. How many times have you used that as an excuse?"
"Well, I really don't use it all that----"
They were interrupted by a loud whistle, over by a make-shift 'dock' that had been set up last minute. The whistle was halted, and then a loud coughing was heard, followed by, "..A moth! Who put the moth in my whistle! Weasley! Weasley! You two have detention," yelled an angry Professor McGonagall.
Ron rolled his eyes, "They never stop coming up with those bloody ideas."
"Well, at least the Common Room is always...active," Hermione suggested.
They were, once again, cut short by Professor McGongall's yells, and all of them walked over to her. Profesor McGongall did not look all that happy, for none of the Ravenclaws showed up ("They all are sick with worry about tests", explained Flitwick), and the Slytherins that did show up, were wearing the neon robes, which basically left the Hufflepuffs (which the entire house was now doing the hokey-pokey, with small breaks of 'Tag!' in there) and the Gryffindors, who were just there.
She pursed her lips together into a thin line, "Students! Students! Attention," she yelled many times, before silence settled onto the grounds of Hogwarts. Then, she started again, "Due to last year's Tri-Wizard Tournment," (Here, Harry whispered to Ron, "How many things are they going to base off that? What's next? Breathing?"), she paused, "Professor Dumbledore has agreed to have a swimming class, for those who don't know how to swim. This is a skill which everybody needs to have, for it may just save your life one day."
A couple of sniggers were heard, from both the Gryffindors and the few Slytherins that did show up. The Hufflepuffs might has sniggered with them, but they were too busy about doing the hokey-pokey as fast as humanly possible (or as fast as they could, without going insane, falling down, or just stop and laugh).
Dumbledore, himself, even joined them for a round or two, must to their suprise and pleasure. It was looking as if the entire purpose of the 'class' was forgotten, and was instead focusing on the hokey-pokey.
It was during this chaos, that some of the Slytherins proceeded on pushing just about everybody into the lake, much to their suprise and humor, everybody fell in, minus a few of the Professors. Flitwick, however, being the smallest one, fell (well, more like flew really) the furthest out, and just...disappeared. Of course, being the author, only I noticed it and everybody else is too busy worrying about their hair and so forth to really notice that he has...disappeared.
About 10 minutes later, the other Professors finally did notice that one of them was missing, and only pure chaos was set to follow. Slowly, they dived in (Minus Severus and Albus, for their own reasons), back into the lake to find their missing Professor.
They swum deeper and deeper into the heart of the lake, past skeletons of old wizards and witches, and a couple of fish heads as well. Finally, they were at the palace of the Merpeople, though they passed several 'malls' where the ones that looked like females were going, "Sqack Sqeeck Ick Ourk mock," to one another, to get, "Wonk Ack Mick," in response. (Translation?...Use your imagination!)
They spotted Flitwick in the 'square', happily swallowing fish and other things found only in the Hogwarts lake, that we really don't want to know about.
After much debate among them, pointing and making really mad faces, all of the Professors (or the ones tha went down there, at least) came back up to the surface. They would only discover to see the entire grounds empty, minus the Hufflepuff house that collasped from exhaustion, and were laying on the ground.
"Well, I guess there is a moral of this story," Flitwick said, trying to get the water out of his socks.
"And what is that?"
"Live fish is better then sushi," he replied.